After the "simulation" incident, the Imps continued their job in getting along with the Liyueans in exchange of the source of life itself: money.

Right now, they were in the very heroic business of distributing forms, before they were interrupted by a Millelith. « Oh, hello Imps. Just a quick warning, be careful if you ever wander to the Minlin area. »

« Why? Is the annual Chilli Churros orgy festival hosted there? » Blitzo asked.

« No. Seriously why do you demons keep calling them that? » the Millelith murmured. « Anyway, as unusual as this may sound, numerous eyewitness reports have confirmed an active Ruin Guard presence in the area, even though it is far beyond their normal area of activity. Sergeant sent someone to find out just where these ancient machines might have come from. It appears that they simply left their ruin and marched off suddenly, for no clear reason. »

« So what, did someone wake them up? » Blitzo asked.

« As I say, the reason is still unclear. We have very little intelligence at present. » the Millelith replied. « Moreover... The ruin in question is of the especially spooky variety. Strange noises are often heard coming from within... »

« Looks like this is a job for some hired guns! Well, what do ya say, big fella? Why don't you leave this job for the competent? » Blitzo proposed.

« Why do people always compare us to the failures of Favonious? » the Millelith commented. « And besides, whilst I'm very grateful indeed for the offer... it just wouldn't be worth the risk. »

« Dude, we kicked Stormbitch ass from the sky and could easily nuke the Ruskies with our eyes closed, we got this! » Blitzo replied.

« Well, if you're genuinely offering...» the Millelith pondered at the idea. « There were some reports of Ruin Guard footprints on the hillside, but since then the Millelith in the area were too busy warning passers-by to investigate...»

« Not to worry, my not-as-much-incompetent friend! Nothing shall stop the Imps from this mystery, AND monetary compensation! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« I do believe there is a theme about you guys….» the Millelith commented.

« Dude, isn't life just a perpetual chase for more money? » Loona raised an eyebrow.

« …. And people say WE're greedy fucks….»

Xxxxxxx

After a while, at Lingju Pass…

« Okay, this should be an issue, because these robo-fucks are robots and everything, but thank fuck they leave such comically large footprints behind…» Loona commented.

« Well, I mean, have you seen how big these things are? They're colossal! Of course they need big feet! » Moxxie reasoned.

« Yeah! Just like Bigfoot! » Millie added.

« Wait, does that mean Ruin Guards are just a hoax? » Blitzo asked.

« No. Because Bigfoot is not an hoax! » Millie replied.

« Yeah, like, we killed him a week before we got stranded in Animeland, remember? » Loona added.

« … So that's why that hobo smelled like shit…. » Blitzo commented. « Anyhow, enough about smelly hobos! Let's focus on metallic hobos! Like that big shit over there! » he then pointed at a large ruin guard just minding his business.

« All right, this is no Chilli Churros or a Futa. This is a Ruin Guard, which means he's essentially bullet proof to most calibres, hits like a truck carrying a box of trucks, and does not go down without a beating, so we need a plan. » Moxxie explained. « So what I propose is-»

« Hit the fucker until it dies! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he lunged forward with a Princess Xena war cry.

« EVERYTHING EXCEPT THAT, YA MORON! » Moxxie shouted angrily, before grabbing a Mg 42 and aiming it at the Ruin Guard. But as Blitzo jumped on the back of the machine, he paused as he noticed something in front of the Ruin Guard.

It was a young boy with pale, freckled skin, blue eyes, and orange hair. He wore traditional Russian clothes, including a brown and white bomber hat.

« Hey buddy! You've come to check this toy too? » the boy asked.

« "Toy"? Kid, this is a god damned Ruin Guard, I don't think you should play with this thing….» Moxxie said, as he reached the scene.

« Um, excuse me? His name is Mr. Cyclops, actually! What sorta dumb name is "Ruin Guard"? » the boy shot back. « And he's not dangerous! Mr. Cyclopses are crazy strong! No bad guys can escape from these guys, that's for sure. »

« "Mr. Cyclops"? » Loona raised an eyebrow.

« Yep! My brother said so. And he's the best toy seller in the whole world! It's his job to sell this kinda stuff! » the boy explained. « Right now he's at the Institute for Toy Research in Liyue. That's where Mr. Cyclopses come from. »

Suddenly, then one of the Millelith arrived at the scene. « Greetings, have you found anythi— Oh, a child...? Wh—What's the situation here? »

« Is this yours? » Blitzo asked.

« Never met him in my entire life. » the Millelith replied, before turning to the boy. « Uh-uh, you shouldn't be out here, boy. There are killing machines in the area, it's extremely dangerous. »

« Killing machines"? You mean... ones that look like this? » the boy asked.

« Precisely, and including this one. It's not moving now, but if it were to wake up, the consequences would be-» the Millelith explained, before getting cut off.

« You take that back! Mr. Cyclops is not a killing machine, he's one of the good guys! » the boy snapped at the Millelith.

« Um... "Mr. Cyclops"? »

« Yeah, we're just as confused as you are….» Blitzo replied.

« We shouldn't be talking to this guy. If he's saying mean things about Mr. Cyclops, he's definitely a bad man. » the boy turned to the Imps.

« I—I'm just trying to help... »

« Easy there, sir. We'll just get him back to his parents….uncles…brothers…company…» Moxxie reassured the Millelith.

« You wouldn't happen to clean chimneys, do ya kid? » Blitzo asked the boy.

« Nope! Only bad guys make children clean chimneys! And my brother is not a bad guy! » the boy replied.

« Well, good to hear that the industrial revolution and its consequences hasn't hit Teyvat as of yet… » Moxxie commented.

« Anyway, I think it would be best if I leave this to you…please don't eat him…» the Millelith pleaded the Imps.

« Pfff, who the hell eats kids anyway? » Loona replied annoyed.

« …Dingoes? » Moxxie proposed.

« ….Coyotes? » Millie added.

« ….So….who the hell are you kid? » Blitzo asked.

« My name's Teucer! I came all the way from Snezhnaya to look for my brother in Liyue. But I'm all on my own, and I don't know where to find him... » the boy, Teucer, explained.

« Wait, you're a Ruskie!? » Blitzo exclaimed shocked. « No wonder ya think these things are toys, you probably have a bear as a dog! »

« Oh, I think this is the part where I give you this... Here you go! » the boy handed a large bag of coins to the Imps.

« JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A LOTA MUNEH! » Blitzo exclaimed shocked.

« Is Jesus Christ the name of the Demons Archon? » Teucer asked curious.

« God no! » Loona replied.

« Anyway, my brother said I should take it with me. He said, "Find a nice person to give this to, and they will take good care of Teucer." » Teucer then explained.

« Well I guess out to look for your bro then. » Blitzo replied still in glee.

« Yay! Thanks, nice demons! » Teucer thanked the group.

« Huh. Good kid. Wonder who his bro is…. » Blitzo pondered.

« Anyway, now we gotta make a pinkie promise! » Teucer explained.

« Oh, the innocence of kids. Sure, let's do this kid. Time to make a deal with the devil…demon…thing. Look, let's just do the thingie, all right? » Blitzo smirked, as the two made a pinkie promise.

« You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again. »

« …Jesus Christ what is wrong with your country…. » Blitzo murmured.

« What? It's just a little rhyme…» Teucer replied.

« Kid, you just threatened me that you would toss me in an ice lake! »

« Only if you break your promise! »

Awkward silence.

« …Kid this is more terrifying than the very concept of this planet being erased from existence, YOU SCARED ME! »

« Sorry….» Teucer apologized.

« Well, not like finding your brother is gonna be this epic quest. Guess we could start with Port Arthur…» Moxxie commented.

Everyone looked at him confused.

« Northland Bank. I called it like that as a joke because the Russians used to own a Chinese city once called Port Arthur. Read a book, damn it! »

Xxxxxxx

A while back, at Northland Bank….

« That seems a little inappropriate, don't you think, sir? How can you— » a Fatui woman was discussing with a man, before being interrupted by said man.

He had short ginger hair and dull blue eyes. He wore a beaded earring with a red crystal on his left ear. A few lighter blond streaks could be seen in his hair, with one prominent one on the left side of his bangs.

He wore a grey jacket that was left unbuttoned at the bottom to reveal a belt, attached to which was his Hydro Vision. He also wore a red scarf that went across his chest and over his left shoulder.

« Relax, occasionally it won't hurt. It'll be fine- » the man replied, before being interrupted by the Imps.

« HEY RUSKIES! IS THIS THING YOURS!?» Blitzo exclaimed, as he held Teucer high up.

The man and the woman looked shocked at the Imps.

« Teucer? » the man uttered confused.

« Yay, my brother! I found you! » Teucer exclaimed joyful.

« Oh boy, it's the Futas. Again. » Moxxie commented annoyed.

« Haha... What a nice surprise, Teucer! I thought I would have to wait till I return home before seeing you again... » the man laughed nervously. « How are the others — sister Tonia and brother Anthon? Is everybody keeping well? »

« They miss you a lot! Tonia prays for you every day at dinner... » Teucer replied.

« ...Wait a second, what are you doing here in Liyue, Teucer? How have I not heard anything about this? » the man raised an eyebrow.

« Well... what happened was... I saw a boat that looked like it was selling toys, so obviously I thought you were on board... » Teucer tried to explain what happened. « And then when I got off I just kept walking and walking... and then, I found a Mr. Cyclops! »

« Wait, your bro said you make toys, how the hell are you a Futa if you-» Blitzo intervened, before the girl interrupted the demon.

« Just because he is addressing me is not to say that he's related to the Fatui. Mr. Childe is merely one of the greatest manufacturers of toys in the world, and as a respectful Snezhnayan citizen, he merely has some contacts for protection from competition. »

« Oh, thank God! » Loona groaned in relief.

« Anyway, Mr. Cyclops scared off a bad guy, and then I found these nice guys to help me come look for you... » Teucer continued.

« Teucer, what you did was extremely dangerous... I'm so happy to see you, really I am, but please... Promise me you won't do anything like this ever again..» Childe scolded the boy.

« Okay, I promise... Please don't be mad at me... » Teucer pleaded.

« I'm not mad at you. I just care about your safety, that's all. » Childe replied. « If you hadn't met these nice people, things could have been a lot more dangerous for you, Teucer. I hope you said a big thank-you to them? »

« Yep! I always remember my pleases and thank-yous. » Teucer replied.

« Well this is normally the part where you pay us or we break your legs, but given that your kid has already paid us, I'd say our job here is done-» Blitzo commented, before Childe spoke once more.

« Wait, before you go…» Childe spoke, before turning to Teucer. « Sorry, Teucer. I would love to play with you, but I have a lot of toys to sell to the many children of Liyue. Do you think you could stay with the nice demons for a while? »

« Sure! I really like these nice guys, and anyway they made a pinkie promise to take good care of me! » Teucer replied.

« I mean he seems good enough, and I like not being in frozen water, so I guess it's not much of a biggie… » Blitzo commented. « Still, since yer a rich guy, mid paying us for babysitting him? Might want to buy stuff and all that jizz…»

« Then I'm in your debt. Here, take this as Teucer's entertainment fund. I want him to have a good time while he's in Liyue, so take him anywhere he wants. » Childe replied, before handing another large bag of money to the Imps.

« Oh, he's gonna have the time of his GOD DAMNED LIFE! » Blitzo lifted up the boy to give him a piggie ride.

Once the group was out of sight and hearing, Childe turned towards the Fatui girl. « You're getting a fucking raise, honey. »

« Look, I might not be the best person alive…but who the hell would hurt that little face? »

Xxxxxxx

After a while, the group reached Liyue.

« Well, kiddo, here we are at Liyue Harbour! Home of trade, money, functioning societies, Chairwoman Ninguao Zhennuang, Princess Charlie of Hell and an underground communist movement for all we god damn know of this city! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he toured the boy around the city.

« Wow! This place is amazing! But where is all the snow? » Teucer asked.

« I mean winter is coming eventually. Just give it, like, five minutes…» Loona commented.

« Yeah? Ain't ya happy that yer fuzzy little bones ain't freezing anymore? » Millie added.

« Actually, that's not all bad! Maybe I can convince big brother to bring the whole family here! » Teucer exclaimed.

« You do that later, kiddo. In the meantime, let's explore the toystore! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« Hey boss! I think I found some of Childe merchandize here! » Moxxie exclaimed, as he picked up a small Ruin Guard toy.

« Woah! I never knew he also sell smaller versions of those toys! » Teucer exclaimed.

« Well I'm sure we can get ya some of those, but first! Lunch! » Blitzo exclaimed, as they walked in a restaurant.

« Uh…Mr demon? Can we go elsewhere, please? That place looks like it makes spicy food, and I don't like spicy food… » Teucer complained. « My meals have to have lots and lots of sugar, and the oil has to be extra virgin vegetable oil. »

« Yeah, good call kiddo. This place doesn't fancy me either, especially if it's hosted by a girl of awful professions THAT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PAY PEOPLE! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he realized that the restaurant belonged to Xiangling.

« Well, nice to meet you too, Blitzo…» the girl commented annoyed, before turning to Teucer. « As for you, little man, I'll have you know that I'm more than capable of cooking the right food for you! It will be the sweetest dish you've ever tasted, and the oil will be so virgin that-»

« HEY! Not in front of the kid! » Moxxie snapped at her.

« Ha! As if he didn't obtain an entire dictionary with you guys around! » Xiangling shot back, before the Imps looked at her with a deadpan expression.

« Holy shit you guys didn't? »

Teucer gasped at her curse. « Profanity! »

« All right, miss. One coin in the Swear Jar. » Loona pulled out a jar out of nowhere.

« …What? » Xiangling said confused.

« It's a new rule we have around the kid. » Moxxie explained.

« The things one must do to protect a child innocence…» Xiangling complained, but none the less put the coin in.

« Well, if you can cook something for the kid, I guess a table for five then. » Blitzo requested.

« Don't bother! These guys are on me! » a voice called the group.

It belonged to Charlie, who was sitting with Vaggie and a restrained Angel in one of the tables.

« Your highness? Fancy to see you here! » Moxxie commented.

« Well…we kinda had to get Angel away from either Alastor or Ningguang…. » Charlie explained.

« What did he do? » Loona asked annoyed.

« He tried to play the bird and the bee with both…» Vaggie replied annoyed.

« Isn't he a spider? » Teucer asked.

« And it went just as well for me. » Angel groaned annoyed.

« So who's the kid? » Charlie asked, before ruffling his hair.

« You didn't kidnap him, right? » Vaggie asked concerned.

« Nah, just babysitting him for toy tycoon Childe. Apparently he's a big shot around here, despite being a Ruskie… » Blitzo replied.

« Well that's odd…I've never heard of him, despite my long stay here…» Charlie commented.

« I mean not that we know much about Liyue in the first place. Folks are secretive around here despite being a centre of trade. Must be some sort of Social Credit system….» Angel commented.

« How the hell do you know about Social Credits? Didn't you die in the 50's? The only Social Credit system you should know is a bullet in the head for having the gall of having private propriety! » Moxxie commented.

« Aren't bullets in the head bad? » Teucer asked.

« Yes they are kid. » Moxxie replied.

« Meh, the guy paid us well for babysitting him, and he's behaving himself. I don't feel like asking too many questions. » Blitzo replied casually.

« Why do I have a feeling we might regret this later? » Charlie pondered.

« Questions for later. I'm starved! And I'm even willing to trust this chick here for food! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« I could serve you as one of my dishes, you ungrateful lizard…. » Xiangling growled annoyed.

Xxxxxxx

After lunch, the group (minus Charlie, Vaggie and Angel) headed to the wharf.

« Wow, this place is huge! And there's so many people! » Teucer exclaimed. « Are the waves here always like this? Don't they ever freeze? »

« Apparently they don't, kiddo. » Blitzo replied. « Bet ya Ruskies wouldn't mind a port that doesn't freeze 24/7, huh? »

« What's that big hook? » Teucer asked.

« That's an anchor. You use it to keep a boat in place. » Blitzo explained.

« Hmm, an anchor... Got it. » Teucer replied. « But I think I might get it mixed up with Commodore Hook... »

« Wait, you're telling me your brother sells giant metal hooks as toys? » Blitzo asked incredulous.

« Yup! Commodore Hook, Blacksteel Jack, Iron Tony... We keep them all in our backyard. » Teucer explained. « They're so big I can't carry them with me when I play. It's a shame, really…»

« Oh, what the hell do I know about Ruskie toys…..» Blitzo commented.

« Why do you keep calling us "Ruskies"? » Teucer asked.

« Because it's easier than whatever is your ethnic group real name! » Blitzo replied.

« What's an ethnic group? »

« A group of people that belongs to a certain nation. » Moxxie explained.

« Got it, Mr. Demon…» Teucer replied with a slightly sad tone.

« You doing good there, sugar? » Millie asked concerned.

« I miss my brother... I wanna play with my brother! » Teucer replied.

« Yeah, seafaring ventures are a pain, aren't they? » Loona commented.

« I mean, I'm happy for the pay, but yeah yer brother shouldn't be as much as a deadbear parental figure as Rex Lapis…» Blitzo commented.

« Dude, I know right!? What kind of God fudges off just because he wants to retire!?» Loona exclaimed.

« That's why Mr. Rex Lapis said he wanted to hand over power to Liyue!? » Teucer exclaimed. « If my brother was Rex Lapis, he would never do that! »

« Wait, how the hell do you know the whole shtick about Rex Lapis retiring? » Blitzo asked.

« Big brother wrote about it in his letters. » Teucer replied.

« Well, it has been fun babysitting you, kid. But I guess back to Northland Bank we go! »

Xxxxxxx

Back at Northland Bank, Childe was reading some reports, until he noticed the Imps returning.

« Oh hello gentlemen! How's Teucer treating ya? Is he behaving? » Childe asked.

« Yeah, he sure is. » Blitzo replied.

« But we think he should stay with his big bro now….» Millie continued.

« Well….it would be correct…but I have much business to do. These toys sure don't sell themselves! » Childe replied, before turning to Teucer. « And besides, you've had a nice long time here in Liyue, haven't you, Teucer? Isn't it about time that you took the boat back home? »

« But, but... but you've been so busy, and we didn't get any time to play together yet... » Teucer complained.

« He's got a point, really… » Moxxie commented. « Don't you think you could ease up a bit with the work and spend some time with your kid? »

« I know, I know. But being the best toyseller in the world is sure busy work! » Childe replied.

« W—Well, how about this? If you just do one little thing for me, I'll be a good boy and go back home! » Teucer proposed.

« Oh dear, who taught this little devil to bargain... » Childe chuckled. « All right. What is it? »

« Take me to visit the Institute of Toy Research! » Teucer exclaimed.

« You mean the place where all the Ruin G- Mr. Cyclopses are coming from? Sure, sounds like a good place to visit, don't ya thing pal? » Blitzo commented.

« Might even explain how is it even possible that they can be turned into toys. Because the ones we've met surely aren't…» Moxxie commented.

« Well, it's because the ones you've met haven't been tinkered by the best toymaker in the world, obviously! » Childe smirked.

« Well, I'd say we got ourselves a deal! » Blitzo exclaimed. « Ya get to spend time with ya kid and we get to see a professional at work! »

« Let me think... Yes, the Institute of Toy Research is not far at all from Lingju Pass. Now, Imps... you're not the sort of guys who would disappoint a kid now, are you? » Childe spoke to the Imps.

« Oh come on, even I'm not that much of a jerk with well behaved kids! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« Man, I really like this family-friendly chapter! » Moxxie added.

Xxxxxxx

After a while, the group reached the Institute of Toy Research.

« Here we are — welcome to Liyue's Institute of Toy Research. » Childe explained.

« Yeah, we're here! I can already hear the machines inside. Awesome! » Teucer exclaimed.

« So wait, you guys are the actual reason behind the "Ruin Guard" epidemic? What, are they like children that have been infused with Poppy and are now rampaging for the Hour of Joy? » Blitzo asked.

« Ruin Guards are much older than the institute. We've merely found a way to figure out how to turn them into toys for all the good boys and girls of the world. » Childe explained.

« Man, can't wait to see the procedure! » Moxxie exclaimed. « Not to worry sir, your industrial secret is safe with us! »

« Unless they pay us or some shit…» Loona smirked.

« What are you guys chatting about? Come on, let's go in! » Teucer exclaimed.

« Haha, alright. Follow me. » Childe replied, as the group entered the building, several Ruin Guards in display, much to the awe of Teucer.

« Brother... someone was saying that Mr. Cyclops is a killing machine... » Teucer than said with a worried tone.

« Yeah. The bootleg versions, duh! » Loona replied with a deadpan expression.

« What's a bootleg? » Teucer asked.

« Ya know how ya bro drinks from the funny looking bottle with the word "Vodka" written to the side? » Blitzo explained.

« That's funny. I've never seen big brother drink vodka, but yeah, I'm following you… »

« Well, a bootleg version would it have the world "Vokda" written instead. »

« Oh, man! Now I totally get it! It's like those cheap Liyue shoes that used to flood the motherland a few years back! » Teucer exclaimed.

« Liyue truly is the land of the Anime Chinese, isn't it? » Moxxie commented.

« Prior to the opium, at least…» Loona added.

After a while, the group entered a large room.

« Wow, this room is huge! Is this where Mr. Cyclops takes his friends when they come to visit? » Teucer asked.

« It is. Impressive, isn't it? Now, how about a little game of hide-and-seek? » Childe proposed.

« Uh... Now? But- » Teucer was about to complain, before his brother had a proposal.

« I have a surprise for you, you know. »

« A surprise! What sort of surprise? »

« Don't worry, you'll have the chance to look for it later. But before that, you have to close your eyes, turn around, and count down from 60. »

« Okay... 60 is a long time, though. »

As Teucer turned around, several Ruin Guards appeared out of nowhere.

« As for you guys. » Childe then turned to the Imps. « The reason why I'm not letting Teucer see this is because I don't want him to see Mr. Cyclops being hurt, even though it's a necessity…. »

« What do you mean? » Blitzo asked.

« To turn Ruin Guards into Mr. Cyclopses, you need to beat the everliving hell out of them first! » Childe exclaimed, as he darted forward and punched one of the guards, rendering it unconscious.

« Oh, that I can dig by! » Blitzo grinned, as he climbed on top of another guard and stab it several times, before shooting it in the head.

« ...60, 59, 58... »

As Teucer counted, Moxxie froze one of the guards with is ice thrower, before shooting it with a rocket launcher, sending the guard flying.

« ...48, 47, 46, 45... » Teucer continued to count, but this time with a concerned tone. « ...Are you guys okay? What's all that crashing and banging? »

« Not to worry, sugar! It's just the machine delivering joy! » Millie exclaimed, as she begun to beat several guards with her fire axe, before sending them against the wall.

« ...16, 12, 10... » Teucer tried to cheat, with little avail.

« Hey, no cheating! You skipped a few numbers, you little rascal! » Childe exclaimed, as he threw another Ruin Guard to the wall. As he said that, three more appeared.

« Just for that, you get 10 more seconds to count, mister! » Loona exclaimed, as she lunged forward, biting and clawing one of the guards.

« Aw…well that's fair… 15 and one, 14 and one, 13 and one... » Teucer continued to count.

As the boy continued to count, the group finished off the last remaining guards, before putting them up in a presentable form and even slightly modifying them.

« ...1... Coming, ready or not! » Teucer then exclaimed, as he turned to see the group having defeated all the guards, now sitting.

« SURPRISE! » the group exclaimed to the child.

« This... This is everything I've ever dreamed of! It's Mr. Cyclops world! » Teucer exclaimed in child-like-joy. « But weren't you supposed to hide? »

« Joke on you, kid! It was all a rouse to give you this wondrous surprise! » Moxxie exclaimed.

« You think Mr. Cyclops is good? Well how about an entire god damned family edition! » Blitzo added.

« Ya got Ms. Cyclops, Mr. Cyclops Junior, Granpa Cyclops, Grandma Cyclops, Fun Uncle Cyclops, Cookie Auntie Cyclops, Neighbout Cyclops, SuperCyclopsman, Dog Cyclops and Cat Cyclops! » Moxxie exclaimed.

« Man, can't wait to bring them back home so that they can play with Mr. Cyclops! » Teucer exclaimed.

« Glad you like them, Teucer. How about an actual game of hide-and-seek this time? » Childe proposed. « Don't worry, this time you only have to count to 10. »

« Yay! » Teucer exclaimed, as he turned around.

Xxxxxxx

A game of hide-and-seek later, the group eventually went to Northland Bank.

« Master Childe, young master Teucer, I've been waiting for you. » a tall man with brown-coloured hair and blue eyes waited at Northland Bank.

« Well, Teucer. I hope you had a good time here in Liyue! » Childe patted the boy on the shoulders.

« You bet I did! » Teucer grinned happily. « But are you sure I can go with him? You always say that I shouldn't go off with strangers…»

« Not to worry, he's a friend of mine. » Childe replied.

« And besides, you've been following us around this whole time... » Loona raised an eyebrow.

« Yeah, because big brother says not to follow stranger humans! Not stranger demons! » Teucer innocently replied.

Loona raised her index finger to argue with a dumbfounded expression, only to give up halfway. « Okay…»

« Young master Teucer, the boat to Snezhnaya will dock soon. We'd best prepare for boarding. » the man continued.

« Gee, time really flies when you're having fun... » Teucer commented sadly, before giving a hug to Childe.

« See you soon, big brother! » he saluted Childe, before turning to the Imps. « And see you later, nice demons! I'll wait for you back home. You definitely, definitely have to come visit Snezhnaya sometime! »

« Hehehe…we might have to in the future….» Blitzo laughed nervously.

« Bye-bye, Teucer! Have a safe trip~! » Childe saluted his brother, as he and the man went on the boat.

« Good kid. » Blitzo commented.

« Yeah, a shame I couldn't spend more time with him. » Childe sighed. « But you know, selling toys can be quite a problem, you know? »

« Did somebody say EASY OPPORTUNITIES TO EXPLOIT THE MINDS OF THE JUVENILES!? » a dramatic voice exclaimed, belonging to Sir Pentious, coming out of the shadows.

« Wait, Sir Pentious? What are ya doing here? » Blitzo asked confused.

« I've sensed the opportunity to make a SHIT TON OF MONEY! » Pentious exclaimed, before turning to Childe. « I do believe that the mere reason as to why hardly anyone has ever heard of your product is the difficulty in mass producing it! I have a solution in exchange of a partnership with you! »

« …Go on…» Childe replied intrigued.

« I have the tool to mass produce Mr. Cyclopsed without the need of scouting the land for FILTHY RUIN GUARDS! » Pentious continued.

« Why are you always so dramatic, dude? » Blitzo asked annoyed.

« I'm an eccentric overlord, and therefore I must do ECCENTRIC SHIT! » Sir Pentious replied.

« I mean, do you really have to- » Loona commented, before being interrupted.

« SHUT UP, MY DEAR FURRY! » Sir Pentious exclaimed to an annoyed Loona, before showcasing his invention. « Now behold, A MASS-PRODUCED MR. CYCLOPS! »

Coming out of a corner was a Mr. Cyclops, nearly identical with a Ruin Guard, followed by several cheerful children.

« I…am Mr. Cyclops. Guardian of children and vanquisher of bad guys! » Mr. Cyclops exclaimed.

« Okay big guy, what's the catch? » Blitzo asked. « There is always a big catch. »

« Well…there might be the souls of the Chilli Churros we've been exterminating recently…» Sir Pentious replied nervously. « Demons have killed so many of them we've calculated a population large enough to require a weekly purge if they ever venture to hell. »

« Wait, are you essentially torturing those poor things to make toys? Is that it? » Childe asked concerned.

« Well, given their limited intellectual abilities, they are merely serving the will of the children who will buy them as if they were their own original masters. I did place some safekeeping programs to avoid any or Freddy Fazbear Pizza incidents, though…» Sir Pentious explained.

« So they're perfectly safe, right? » Childe asked.

« Tested them for 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000simulations, all confirmed safe for children! AND, they're also Liyue approved! » Sir Pentious replied.

To this, Childe grinned as dollar sings appeared in his eyes. « Well, my dear friend, it looks like we have a deal! »

« You shall not regret it, my dear Ruskie friend! » Sir Pentious grinned.

« Let's just ignore that… » Childe replied, as he shook his hand.

Xxxxxxx

After a while, at one of the Fatui buildings, Childe entered one of the rooms, Signora and Scaramouche waiting for him with a dumbfounded expression in their faces.

« Did they….did they actually buy the toy act? » Signora asked shocked.

« Yup. » an equally shocked Childe replied.

« I can guess Teucer, since he's a kid, but they actually seemed to have SOME intellectual abilities… » Scaramouche commented.

« I guess the money confused? » Childe theorized. « Oh, by the way, tell Dottore and Pantalone that I won't take any more money or Ruin Guards from their offices. I'll be making my own Mr. Cyclops AND my own money. »

« You can't take Ruin Guards from the wild. They all go to Dottore's lab. » Signora replied sternly.

« Who said anything about taking them from the wild? » Childe grinned, as a Mr. Cyclops came forward.

« Summon the children counts! »

The two Harbingers looked at the machination confused.

« …What? »

« I'LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING STOCK! »

Xxxxxxx

Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.

I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!

See you to the next update!