AN: Here we are, another chapter here.
I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
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Carol assumed that most women her age, especially those that lived alone, were probably startled by the sound of someone moving around in their house in the early morning hours. That was not exactly the case for Carol, though.
A quick glance out of the bedroom window assured Carol that Andrea's car was parked in the driveway. Carol pulled on her favorite fluffy housecoat, tied the string around her waist, and padded through the house toward the kitchen where the smell of coffee and breakfast greeted her.
She smiled to herself, seeing the back of her friend before Andrea realized she was there.
"You know I gave you that key for emergencies," Carol said.
"This was an emergency," Andrea said, not turning around from her cooking.
"You didn't buy groceries and it was easier to drive to my house than the IGA?" Carol asked.
Andrea laughed to herself.
"No…I needed to hear about your date and you needed to eat breakfast. I know how you are on Saturdays if you're not working. You won't eat anything the whole day, if I don't come over, because you claim that you serve food all week and you don't want to do it on your days off."
"There's truth to that," Carol agreed. She poured a cup of coffee and leaned around Andrea to see what she was preparing—hash browns. "I didn't have potatoes." Andrea leaned and pecked Carol on the cheek enthusiastically and Carol laughed to herself. "Someone's in a good mood," she mused.
"The best mood," Andrea assured her. "And see? Not only do I buy groceries, but I buy them for your house, Carol. I stopped at the IGA on my way. I got wine, too, but not for breakfast."
It was clear that Andrea was inviting herself to spend the day, but that wasn't unusual. Michonne and Jacqui had families. Alice was married to her work. Carol and Andrea usually found themselves spending their days off together—so much so that Andrea scheduled her client-free days to correspond with whatever days Carol was taking off each week.
"You picked all this up on your way here from home?" Carol asked.
"Why would you ask me that?" Andrea asked.
"You're overdressed for a Saturday morning of cooking potatoes in my house," Carol mused. "Usually it's pajamas or—sweatpants. That's your favorite boob shirt, isn't it? But you're not wearing makeup, so I'm confused."
Andrea didn't respond. She scraped the cooked hash browns onto two plates, and put the pan in the sink. She ran water in it and gestured toward a plate where she'd already prepared bacon and sliced up tomatoes. Carol understood what she was indicating, so she took that plate to the table with her coffee mug. She came back to retrieve Andrea's mug while Andrea carried their plates of potatoes to the table.
It wasn't until they were settled in to eat at the table that Andrea spoke again.
"I'll tell you all mine," Andrea said. "Every last little detail, if that's what you want, but I want to hear about your date!"
"All of your what?" Carol asked. "What happened, Andrea?"
"I went to Salty's," Andrea said. The smile on her lips was enough to tell Carol that a trip to the bar wasn't the end of the story. Something in Carol's stomach jumped, too, at the thought that it had been a long time since Shane Walsh had put even half the smile on Andrea's face that she was trying to hold back.
"Did you even go home last night?" Carol asked.
"Please tell me about your date," Andrea whined. "That's why I'm here."
Carol smiled to herself. She wasn't really hungry, but she hated not to eat the food that she knew that Andrea had prepared for her with affection. She tasted a bite of the potatoes.
"It was nice," she said.
"Just nice?" Andrea asked. Carol laughed quietly.
"I don't know what the proper wording for these things is," Carol said. "I'm a little rusty."
"Nice is the guy at Home Depot, Carol," Andrea said. There was genuine disappointment on her face. "Nice is—I almost fell asleep and drowned in soup."
"Maybe I just mean that he was nice," Carol said. "It was dinner. We had a good time. We talked the whole time. We ate—way too much. We laughed." She smiled to herself. "We laughed a lot, and…that was good. I haven't laughed with a man since…before Ed and I got married."
Andrea's disappointment was replaced with a bit of a satisfied smile.
"And?" Andrea pressed when Carol didn't continue talking.
"And what?" Carol asked. "It was dinner, Andrea. We ate and then he brought me home."
"Did he—stay?" Andrea asked.
"No," Carol said, shaking her head. Andrea's face fell.
"Did he come in for a drink?" Andrea asked. Carol laughed to herself and shook her head.
"No," she said. "He drove me home. And he—opened my car door. And he walked me to the door, and then we said goodnight."
"And then your mother flashed the porch lights to tell you it was time to come inside?" Andrea asked. Carol let her know, with one quick expression, that she didn't appreciate her tone or facial expression.
"We kissed goodnight," Carol offered. "Does that make you happy?"
"That depends," Andrea said, filling her mouth with the breakfast that she clearly desired more than Carol did. "Did it make you happy?"
"It was a nice kiss, and Daryl seems so great…" Carol offered.
"I'm sensing a 'but' of monumental proportions here, Carol," Andrea said around her food, "so why don't you save us both some time and cut to the chase about why it is that you're about to yank the rug out from under this man."
"We don't know each other," Carol said.
"That's kind of the idea of meeting new people," Andrea offered. "You don't know each other, and then you do things, together, where you get to know each other. At the end of it, you know each other."
"You know what they say about when things seem to good to be true?" Carol asked. Andrea laughed to herself.
"So, you've already decided this guy is not what he appears to be?" Andrea asked.
Carol's stomach ached, and she didn't want the food in front of her at all. She pushed the potatoes around with her fork, but she didn't dare to taste the food. The truth of the matter was that she didn't know if she believed that Daryl wasn't what he said he was, or if she was actively trying to convince herself that she believed that.
"What'd he do?" Andrea asked. "That makes him—so clearly a phony? Did something happen on your date? Did he do something to you?"
"He didn't do anything," Carol said. "He was perfect. He was polite, and nice, and funny…and he told me that he wasn't going to kiss me goodnight. He was going to let me kiss him goodnight, but only if I wanted to. And—after I kissed him, he just…said goodnight and went home. He told me goodnight and he left…just like that. And he didn't even try to talk me into letting him come inside."
"He sounds like a real menace to society," Andrea said. "So, what makes you think there's something wrong with him?"
Carol shrugged her shoulders.
"It doesn't seem possible," Carol said. "There's—got to be something. And he's biding his time."
"Like an axe murderer?" Andrea asked. "Don't look at me like that! You're the one with the conspiracy theory, Carol. I'm just trying to keep up. Look—did he have a good time? Did he ask you out again?"
"He said I could choose whatever we do next or, if I don't want to choose, he'd pick something," Carol said. "He said I could call him, but…he'll call me next week if I don't."
"Pfffttt," Andrea spat. "Shit. I mean—I see what you're talking about now. He sounds just awful. He clearly has an agenda. He's going to keep being nice to you for what appears to be an indefinite amount of time."
"Ed was nice, too," Carol said. "In the beginning."
Andrea's expression changed and her shoulders slumped a little.
"I need you to understand that I'm not—nor would I ever, Carol—making light of what Ed did or who he was," Andrea said. "But—Ed was an asshole. A first class, first rate, asshole. He pretended to be a certain way and he preyed on you."
"And how do I know that Daryl isn't the same?" Carol asked.
"You don't, maybe," Andrea said. "Maybe you take it slow?"
"That's what he said in the truck," Carol said. "We could take it slow. We should take it slow. However slow I wanted to go."
"Did Ed ever offer you the same courtesy?" Andrea asked.
"I was young then," Carol said. "Naïve. I wanted to move quickly. I wanted to get married. Have my babies. I was in a hurry to have my perfect little family, and my wonderful little picturesque life. I never asked Ed to slow down for anything in the beginning."
"You're not the same woman you were," Andrea said. "Or—girl, or whatever. Carol, what if Daryl's not like Ed? What if he's genuinely nice, and funny, and all of that?"
"Why are you so worried about it?" Carol asked, doing her best to draw even her own attention away from the way that her stomach felt.
"Because you're my best friend," Andrea said. "And I want you to be happy. Look—what is something that Ed absolutely would have never done with you?"
Carol laughed to herself. She rested her chin on her hand and rested her elbow on the table, pushing her plate away.
"Anything," Carol said, tasting her coffee again.
"I'm serious!" Andrea declared.
"I am too," Carol said, her throat tightening. "Shit—I'm serious. Nothing. Not for me. Everything…Andrea…everything was about Ed. As soon as the honeymoon, it started. We ate when and where Ed wanted to eat. The sex was…on Ed's terms. Always. Don't get excited about things because that's childish, and ridiculous, and he wasn't listening to that bullshit. I wanted too much out of life—out of him. Everything was stupid and costed too much money…and I fucked up everything anyway."
"So, ask Daryl to do something that you want to do," Andrea said. "Something that—Ed would never, ever do. See what he does. See how he reacts."
"A test?"
"It's not flattering," Andrea said. "But—I'm sure he'd rather pass a test like that than for you not to answer your phone the next time he calls."
Carol sucked in a breath, held it, and let it out.
"I'll think about it," she said. "I want to think about something else, though, right now. Tell me what you did last night."
Andrea smiled to herself. She wiggled in her chair.
"It's not so much about what I did as who I did," Andrea said. "And what he did to me!"
Carol felt her face grow warm, but Andrea was less embarrassed by such things than Carol was. Ed had taught Carol, pretty well, to be ashamed of her sexuality. He'd picked up where her parents had left off, perhaps, or where society had left off. Michonne was a bit more conservative, as well, as was Jacqui. Meanwhile, Alice and Andrea were both something like daughters of the sexual revolution. Neither of them was ashamed of what they enjoyed, though Carol knew that Shane often hurt Andrea's feelings over her desires by telling her that she wasn't attractive enough to be as interested in sex as she was—and she wasn't good at it, either, as she ought to be if she were going to insist on having so many desires.
To be honest, when it came to her friends, it wouldn't have taken much for someone to win over Carol's affections and blessings—especially if they were up against Shane.
"You slept with someone?" Carol asked.
"Oh, there was not a lot of sleeping," Andrea offered. Her smile was radiant, and it was contagious. "He had to be a world-class gardener for as good as he treated my flower." Andrea winked at Carol and Carol laughed to herself in response.
"Were you drunk?" Carol asked. Andrea shrugged and wiggled her hand.
"I wasn't stone cold sober," she said. "But—I mean, I wasn't blitzed. He asked me to stay for breakfast, but I really wanted to get over here and find out about your date. But, Carol—you've never had someone eat your pussy like this guy did. I mean—he ate pussy like it was a religion. I got a fucking cramp in my calf just from my toes curling—and he rubbed it out without even stopping. I thought I'd lose my mind."
"Oh—Andrea!" Carol said, covering her own face for a moment with her hand. Her face burned hot for Andrea, and when she looked at her friend, she saw a flood of pink run to Andrea's cheeks and her nose, but it didn't stop her.
"I heard that a couple of times last night, too," Andrea offered. Carol rolled her eyes.
"So, you're going to see him again?" Carol asked.
"I hope," Andrea said. "I didn't get his number, but I gave him mine."
Carol felt her face fall, and she tried to cover it up quickly.
"I'm sure he'll call soon," Carol said.
Andrea's eyes went wide.
"You don't believe that at all, do you?" Andrea asked. "Don't lie to me," she added, when Carol hesitated. "You don't think I'm…you don't think he'd want to call me?"
"I don't think it's you. It's just…I think he's a man," Carol said. "And—it's probably just me, Andrea. I just—what if that's all he was after?" Andrea looked crushed, suddenly, and Carol slipped out of her chair and walked over to wrap her arms around her friend. Andrea leaned into her. "I'm sorry. Don't listen to me, OK? I just—you know how I am, and how I think, and I didn't mean to suggest that's all he would want."
"No," Andrea said, pulling away, "you might be right. The worst part about it is—even if that's all he wanted? I'd still want him to call again, just because that was about the best thing I've ever had with a man."
Carol sat down in her chair, but she did reach her hand across to catch Andrea's and hold it.
"I don't like to hear that," she said. "But—I do hope he calls again. And—I'm sorry, because I think I ruined your good mood and that wasn't my intention."
"It's OK," Andrea offered. She put on a smile which was much more halfhearted than before, and patted Carol's hand with the one she wasn't holding. "It wouldn't have lasted too long, anyway."
"What can I do to make it up to you?" Carol asked. Andrea's smiled grew a little more and she raised her eyebrows at Carol.
"You could—hang out with me and…let's make a list of all the things you might tell Daryl you want or like. For when he calls again."
Carol's stomach twisted in response, and she felt a wave of anxiety wash over her. Being entirely honest with Andrea was easy, now. She'd had to work up to it, though. Ed had taught her well that nobody cared about her wants, and what she did want was either impossible, ridiculous, or stupid. Her friends had taught her that not everybody felt that way. She could be honest with them, now, for the most part, and she rarely had to fight more than a little insecurity before she shared her thoughts. But being entirely honest with Daryl? That was nerve wracking. Still, this was only a list, and it was only shared with Andrea. Just because they made it, didn't mean she actually had to share it with him.
"Fine," Carol said.
"Great!" Andrea said.
"But if we're writing down everything I've ever wanted and never—never got or did? We'll be here half the day."
"What else did you have to do today? I'll splurge for the pizza later," Andrea said. "And I'm sure you're willing to lend a friend some pajamas."
Carol laughed to herself.
"You know where they are," Carol said. "You've done enough. I'll handle the dishes while you go change."
