Hey everyone,
Originally Harry would first meet with Poppy and afterwards with Della in this chapter. But unfortunately, I've been busy this month, so I only had time to work on the Harry-Poppy conversation. Expect the meeting with Della sometime later in August.
All clear, good,

Venquine1990


Chapter 54
Harry And Poppy

9th of June 1996
Black Home, Radiant Garden
Harry's POV

I love and adore my daughter, yet at the same time I have a growing sense of annoyance and discomfort with the way that she came into my life and the consequences that I am still experiencing, even weeks later.

I really don't know what it's going to take for me to lose my pregnancy weight or how I could possibly do more to get my stamina back to pre-pregnancy levels, but I am desperate to get there again, preferably as soon as possible.

Yet in the meantime, I know I can't be a good mother, or a healthy person, if I don't put the experiences of the night before I gave birth to rest.

Because of this, while part of me tries to argue against the idea, I've called Mrs. Weasley over and asked her to watch Erethea for me.

Though naturally I insisted that I would keep being the one to feed my precious little girl. Thankfully Mrs. Weasley didn't argue against this, even though she's holding and looking at my baby as if she were one of her own.

A small, almost indiscernible voice even whispers in the back of my mind: "Careful, she might try to replace him with her."

I don't believe a word this voice whispers as I know Mrs. Weasley knows better than to ever try something like that.

Even when the voice tries to argue that she, at the start of my pregnancy, told me that she would gladly take in my child, I argue that this was Dumbledore manipulating her and neither of them thinking straight at the time.

I refuse to let this disgusting voice win or convince me.

Instead I focus on the reason I asked the woman to come over as Poppy had come into the house alongside her.

And while dad takes Molly into the kitchen, I guide Poppy into the adjacent living room. This allows me some privacy, while I also get to keep an eye on my precious little girl.

"She really has you wrapped around her little finger, doesn't she?"

Poppy isn't the first person to ask me this jokingly, yet I answer positive nonetheless.

"She does. And I wouldn't have it any other way, Poppy. Well, other than in regards to my health."

The woman smiles at me and tells me: "You're doing great, dear.

You're obviously following the regiment that I recommended for you when you left the hospital and I genuinely think that you might get something similar as when you started your third trimester."

This belief, the chance that I might be able to lose my pregnancy weight as quickly as I gained it a few months ago, brings a large smile to my face.

I spare another glance into the kitchen and while I glance that way, I speak up:

"Could I ask you for your professional opinion on something? I already asked dad for his parental opinion, though I would also like a professional one."

The woman nods and I voice my thoughts: "Do you think that Rhea is old enough to go outside? I – I want to test out that baby carrier bag that Mrs. Weasley made for me when I was 8 months pregnant, but I don't want to do anything that might not be safe for my baby."

Poppy smiles at me and says: "You can definitely do that, dear.

I would recommend that you check the support that the bag provides to your baby girl's neck, but otherwise it should be fine. And I know Molly, so I'm sure she put the necessary charms on the bag already.

Just let either me or Sirius check to see if those spells are still working alright before you decide to do this, okay?"

I happily agree with this, glad to know that I now have confirmation from both my father and my Regent/Personal Healer.

Yet this notion brings a new thought to my mind and I turn to Poppy again as I ask: "Do you miss it, Poppy? Being the Hogwarts Healer, I mean?"

The woman seems shocked to hear me ask her this question, yet then she smiles and says; "I have experienced a rare few times where I did miss the hustle and bustle that came with so many different students and injuries.

But like I said, those times are rare and are getting fewer and fewer. Also, the fact that I now have time where I don't have to worry about what I might experience next is also very welcoming.

And thanks to the extra free time that I have now, I've discovered sides of myself and talents within me that I didn't even knew I had.

So yeah, there are times that I miss it, but the benefits are definitely outweighing the severity of it all. And I am still very, very happy with the decision I made.

I still think it's one of the best decisions I've made in the last few decades and I would definitely make it again if given the chance."

I hadn't quite realized how much the woman's answer mattered to me, yet her answer makes me sigh in relief and smile at her.

"Now, let's get onto the reason I came here, shall we?"

This question gives me very mixed feelings.

On the one hand there is a small side of me that feels like bringing up yet another different kind of topic or subject.

Yet my inner Gryffindor and the majority of my mind, heart and soul feel very determined and relieved with the chance to get this burden off of my shoulder.

Especially because I don't want this event to, potentially, affect my ability to take care of my little girl, my precious little diamond.

"It's mostly the night before Rhea decided that she was ready to come into the world. For the most part of that week, I was, kind of, in double battle.

On the one hand I had my magic going crazy and me losing control of it over and over again, no matter what I tried to calm it down.

On the other hand, I had moments where thoughts and memories that I thought I had buried when I left England came back to haunt me.

And that night, the night before Rhea came into the world, they just – just started to overwhelm me. I – I had had the feeling that, from time to time, I heard Vernon whispering all kinds of lies and insults in the back of my ear.

And that night, no matter what I tried or how I tried to distract myself or focus on other things, that – that voice just – just wouldn't stop.

Even trying to pretend that I was talking to dad or Damian and trying to imitate their voices just didn't work.

Thankfully, just when my inner defenses were about to fail me, when I was at my emotional weakest, where I was, ever so slightly, started to believe his lies – Rhea came calling.

She really is a little miracle in more ways than one. Both when things were really bleak and troublesome back at Hogwarts and when I was at my emotional weakest, she came to bring a brilliant light back into my life."

Yet again I am staring at my precious daughter, who looks ready to start snoozing in Mrs. Weasley's arms as the woman gently rocks her back and forth while seated in the kitchen.

Yet I don't need to look at Poppy to know that she is beaming at me. My own smile, however, disappears and I turn my head as I look down and ask:

"Why, Poppy?

Why would I hear his voice again? Why would Vernon, even if only through an imaginary voice in the back of my head, come back into my life?

And why now? Why would that happen to me now, just when I was about to start the best part of my young life?

It's just – I can't understand why this is happening when, for the last few months, I felt so loved and so at home here –."

"Because you never got closure."

I turn to Poppy with eyes wide and full of shock. The woman looks at me with a genuinely kind and understanding smile on her face as she says:

"Harry, you hardly talked about your homelife, both before you and Lea found each other and while you were pregnant.

The only times you, during your pregnancy hinted at your years with the Muggles is when you reminded yourself, or us, that you would give Erethea everything you were denied growing up. Other than that you never said anything.

You're confusing moving away with getting closure.

But unlike the situation with your parents, where you felt nothing because you never really knew Lily and James and only knew what others told you about them – you have personal experiences with these Muggles, and very negative memories to boot.

I just never brought this up before now or commented on the few times that you made comments like that and how much they worried me, because I could tell that they didn't have any negative affects on you or your health.

I didn't think the same would be true if I tried to help you go deeper into these experiences, so I promised myself I would wait until after the birth.

And I would have told you this, but then your third trimester hit you the way it did and I felt it better to just focus on keeping you and Erethea healthy."

The more the woman speaks, the more a strong portion of my heart and mind want to jump up and shout at her, shout that she's wrong and that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

But the more I focus on listening to what she's saying, the more her explanation calms down my heart and allows me to think clearly.

I don't argue or fight against her statements,

Because I know, deep down, that she's right.

Yet I turn to look into the kitchen again,

My heart clenching with worries and concerns.

Poppy and I are seated at opposite sides of one of the two couches in the living room and the arch that leads into the kitchen is behind the back of the couch.

Because of this, the two of us have been seated sideways on the couch during our talk and I've had my right hand leaning on the center of the backrest whenever I turned to look into the kitchen.

I'm seated like this again while listening to Poppy's explanation and a few moments after I turn to watch my daughter slumber again, she lies her hand on top of mine.

I turn to her, while I try not to show her how conflicted I feel about her explanation. The woman is still sporting the same smile as she says:

"You don't need to worry, Harry.

We can hold small sessions whenever Erethea is sleeping. You can bring her to my office when you are sure she is about to take another nap and then let her nap while you burry the skeletons in your closet, so to say.

We can easily work around your new role as a mother and make sure that there is nothing weighing down your heart that could make you falter in your responsibilities.

We can make this work."

Her words make me sigh in relief.


Don't you worry, Harry.
So could you guys let me know if you want a chapter where Harry discusses this whole thing? Or would you rather that I just summarize it and focus on everything else I still want to cover in this story going forward?
Remember, this story is sure to have another 10 to 15 chapters before I will probably consider everything properly covered, so I'm not entirely sure if this subject really needs another chapter to bring it full circle or not.
Let me know,

Venquine1990