Jane made her way to meet Jacob, silently hoping for good news about Garrus. I just found him again, I can't lose him now, she thought to herself before entering the meeting room.
"Hey Shepard." Jacob greeted her.
"Hi. So how is he?" She immediately asked him.
"Well, it doesn't look good. I don't know how anyone could survive a hit like that. Last I heard, Chakwas was still operating on him." He told her. Jane was fighting back tears as she dreaded the worst when the door opened and Garrus walked in and greeted them. She called out his name in joy. She noticed he had a large wound on the side of his face but she was happy he survived. Jacob introduced himself to Garrus and Jane interrupted them to ask Garrus how he survived a rocket to the face and he just joked that her luck rubbed off on him and that she had died and came back, she just smirked and acted nonchalant and agreed that she did. He told her the doctor fixed him up but told him the scar would probably be permanent and made a joke about women, mostly krogan, liking men with scars. She threw a joke at him about just slapping on some of his blue paint and no one would notice. Jacob took the time to explain their mission and what they had learned so far. When he mentioned they were on a Cerberus ship, Jane saw Garrus give her a confused and worried look. After awhile, Garrus told them he'd stay in the Main Battery when he wasn't sleeping and went on his way.
After talking with Jacob a bit, Jane decided to go check up on Garrus and made her way to the battery.
"Hey Vakarian." She greeted him as she slightly leaned in the doorway.
"Shep- ouch!" He exclaimed while he hit his head on some equipment as he stood up.
"Careful there or you'll be spending all your time in the medbay instead." She laughed.
"No kidding. But seriously? Cerberus?" Garrus asked her with suspicion. "After everything, I figured you'd shoot them on sight."
"Yeah, well…" She rubbed the back of her neck as she replied to him. "These human colonies need help and they have the resources so we're just using them until the job is done. We are not working for them. I still don't trust them, specifically the Illusive Man. And shit, Garrus, if I'm walking into Hell, I need someone I can trust with me. I need you. I understand if you don't want to come with…"
"You know this plan has me walking into hell too? Heh. Just like old times. Don't worry. I'm with you no matter what." He replied with a smile. "Now I hear you have a whole cabin?"
"Oh yeah! First class now. Even comes with an aquarium and Carn loves it." She bragged with a smile.
"You're going to keep pets? You know you have to feed them? Daily?"
"Hey! Carn is just fine." Jane said as she crossed her arms.
"To be fair, Joker did take care of him for two years." Garrus laughed.
"Watch it, Vakarian. I'll rile him up and set him loose in here." She smiled at his joke. "But I should go and look over these dossiers some more."
"Alright. These guns could use some calibrating."
Later, Jane made her way to the Port Cargo Bay to check out the tank bred krogan they acquired from the krogan warlord before he died. The crew had been reluctant about her releasing it, specifically Garrus. She had told him she needed to know if he was a useful ally or a ticking bomb. She told EDI to open the tank, much to the AI's dismay as she tried to talk Jane out of it but Jane had already made up her mind. Once it was opened, the krogan looked around then immediately pushed her against the nearby wall with his forearm on her throat. He threatened to kill her and asked who she was.
"I'm Commander Jane Shepard and I have worthy enemies if you would rather fight them." She kept her face stern as she talked to him.
"They better be strong or I'll settle on killing you. But I need a name first. I heard someone say…Grunt. Bah, meaningless but it'll do." He said to himself.
"I'll remind you. I'm Commander Jane Shepard and I don't take threats kindly." She said as she looked down to show him she had her pistol pointed at his abdomen the whole time.
"Huh?" He asked before looking down to see her gun. "Ha. You're crafty. Alright, I'll fight your enemies. For now." He smiled as he backed up to release his hold on her. She took time to explain the circumstances of his getting to the Normandy and their mission. Joker came on the comm and told her he found the coordinates she had asked about. She made sure Grunt was settled in before making her way to the cockpit.
"You found it?" Jane asked Joker.
"Yeah! I mean it wasn't very hard. She was a large ship. The bulk of it landed on an uninhabited planet."
"Great. Take us there immediately. I'm going to go suit up." She told him.
"Which crew members are you taking, Commander Shepard? I'll tell them to get ready for the mission." EDI asked her.
"None. I'm going alone."
"Wait! You can't." Joker interjected. "I get that you don't trust everyone yet but at least take Garrus if that's the issue."
"No. That's not it. I need to do this alone."
"But that's the ship you- well you shouldn't go alone." He tried pleading with her.
"I'm going myself and that's it. I was responsible for that ship and the crew. I need to get the dog tags of the ones we lost." She said as she left before Joker could argue with her anymore.
She landed her shuttle on the planet and made her way to the debris of the Normandy.
"Damn. This thing really took the beating." She said to herself as she looked at the wreckage. She quickly made her way around, collecting all the dog tags she could find. She stopped at the remains of the cargo bay and took a moment to think about Ashley. She found Pressly's data pad near his tags. She went over some of the entries and saw he didn't like the idea of aliens on an Alliance ship at first but saw entries that confirmed he eventually changed his mind and seemed fond of their crew before the end. Jane remembered the conversation she had with him when they first set off to find Saren. He had expressed concerns about them and she had told him to give them a chance. She smiled as she held his pad, she was glad he saw them the same way she did before the end. She had scoured the entire area at least three times and she had collected all 20 of the crew's tags but she couldn't find her own. She couldn't understand it. She hadn't taken them off since she got them, so she knew she was wearing them when she died. She noticed her oxygen was starting to get low so she decided she'd look around the area one more time. They have to be here, she thought as she looked around. Just then she saw a glint of light in the distance and thought it had to be them and ran towards where she saw it. But when she reached the location, what she saw was her old N7 helmet. She picked it up and tightened her grip as she held it upside down.
"Dammit. If I never would've been brought back, then there wouldn't be anything left for anyone to remember me." She said to herself. Just then, she realized her oxygen was almost on empty. She reluctantly looked at the wreckage one last time and with tears in her eyes, whispered an apology for everyone she couldn't save before getting back in the shuttle to return to the Normandy.
Jane made her way to the cockpit, feeling dejected. She sighed before entering and saw Joker and Garrus talking. She didn't say anything so as not to give any hints to how she was feeling and handed Joker the box of dog tags and asked him to make sure it got to the Alliance. He acknowledged her order then took a look at her and asked if something was wrong. Damn, should've known he'd see through me, she thought. She ignored his question and told him she was going to her cabin and asked him not to tell anyone she was back for at least twenty minutes and left while ignoring him calling out to her.
When she got to her cabin, she put her helmet on her bed and sat down, hugging her knees. Just when she was about to let her sadness take over her, she heard a knock on her door.
"Go away." She quietly whispered to herself as she hugged her knees closer to her chest. After a moment, she heard Garrus announce himself from the other side of the door and state he knew she was in there. That's right he was with Joker when I got back, she thought. She quietly called out to him to come in. Once he came in, he sat on the bed next to her and questioned what was wrong and why she went alone. She told him she was responsible for the lives that were lost and for getting their tags to their loved ones. He tried to console her by pointing out her ship had been ripped through by the enemy's weapons and her evacuating the ship when she knew it was a lost cause. He almost said that she died to save Joker but corrected himself by saying she risked her life for him. Everyone tiptoes around the fact I died, especially Joker, Jane thought to herself. Garrus then interrupted her thoughts by telling her that wasn't what was bothering her. She gave him a blank stare as she questioned him with a "what".
He told her that Anderson, the crew and even he knew she did everything she could so he knew she knew that too and again questioned her about what was really bothering her. She sniffled and told him it was her dog tags as she felt her eyes get wet. He questioned what she meant and she explained that she found everyone's tags but couldn't find hers anywhere. That if she had stayed dead, there wouldn't have been anything for anyone to remember her by and picked up her helmet and said that was all she found of hers as she set it down on the bed in front of them. They both stared at the damaged but intact helmet for a moment, when all of the sudden she felt a pair of arms around her and looked over to see Garrus hugging her. He spoke up and told her he had been at her memorial and heard Anderson speaking fondly of her and said all the crew from the Normandy as well as any Alliance members on the citadel and even the council had showed up to pay their respects. He then named everyone from the team when they went after Saren and himself could never forget her. He told her she was too important for him to ever forget as she felt him hug her tighter. She asked him if he really meant it and he told her he did and joked about her being the only one to kick his ass at target practice. She thanked him and told him she didn't know what she would do without him as she smiled. This had reminded her of the time he came and talked to her right after they lost Ashley. He somehow always cheered her up when she didn't think she'd want to see anyone. He smiled back at her then got up and started to say he should leave when she instinctively grabbed his arm and asked him to stay and talk for awhile. She didn't want him to leave yet. He agreed and grabbed her helmet and told her to keep it as a reminder that it had been through a lot but it was still in one piece and to let it remind her how strong both it and she was, as he set it on her desk. She thanked him and agreed. He then sat back on the bed with her and they continued to talk. She had suddenly stopped hearing his voice and looked over to see he had fallen asleep. She was too tired to wake him and didn't want to bother him either.
"Thank you, Garrus. You've become one of the most important people to me and have held me together through my toughest times. I'd be lost without you." She said as she gently touched his face before feeling herself drift off to sleep with a smile on her face.
