Chapter 8 – Long Conversations

Tuesday, December 1st, 2020

Gabi's POV

Saylor sat in my lap as she was fussy today and she cried out as she reached for Troy who was in the middle of warm-ups. He was trying his hardest to not turn his head, but he finally gave in and reached for her. "Troy," I warned, and he shook his head, "She just wants a minute with me, I haven't seen her all day." I gave in and he picked her up and continued to supervise warm-ups while also entertaining his daughter. They were in suits and ties tonight as my eyes moved over to Blaine who was warming up on the other side.

Saylor was grabbing Troy's tie and trying to eat it, but he laughed pulling it from her and tossing it over his shoulder. He walked over to Coach Sams as they greeted each other. Coach Sams laughed as Saylor gave him a smile as she curled up to Troy. Sutton was playing with Noah on Lennon's lap as they were sharing snacks. "Can you believe at the end of the month they will be one?" my mom asked, and I choked on something that sounded like a laugh and a sob.

"I'm not sure I am ready. I love them so much," my mom squeezed her shoulder. "Every age is fun. Plus, you can have more babies." She shot me a smile and I shook my head with a laugh. "Not any time soon. These two are plenty." My mom just gave me a look and I shook my head as Lucy nudged up next to me. "Aunt Gabi, where is Saylor?" I pointed over towards Troy and she giggled, "Is she going to coach, too?" I laughed, "Maybe."

Troy called his team back to the huddle and Cameron nudged Troy, he looked at Saylor as if he had forgotten that she was holding her. He turned around and I stood up to take her back. She was half asleep and Troy kissed her temple. "You do it so much you forget you are holding her," I tease, and he chuckled as he brushed his lips over mine. "I needed that." Saylor cried coming back to me as I rocked her gently as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Dada," I kissed her temple, "I know, baby."

"Say, come see papa," Tommy took Saylor, and she happily went in his arms as she babbled. The whistles blew singling to start the game. The boys all ran out onto the court as Troy clapped his hands. He looked damn good in that suit. It was navy blue with a white undershirt. The tie had James Island colors as he turned to talk to Jax and Jesse. You would never know that they had bigger and better offers out there with this game. The only people who knew were us girls and the boys plus my dad. I never told Troy I told him, but I needed to talk to somebody about it.

I knew we needed to talk about it. We only had a month to decide.

I just…I wanted to say no.

But that was a selfish no.

Which didn't seem fair.

I shook it off as I focused on the game in front of us as Blaine took quick command of the court. He was so much fun to watch on the basketball court. There were times I wish I could have watched Troy on the court. Playing a game. Watching him play a pick-up game was always fun but I couldn't imagine him playing in a game. Troy shouted something from the bench, and he jumped up as he was pacing the court.

That was the first time his hand went to his hair. "Justin!" his voice was on peak, and it gave me goosebumps. He could do this in a college level and just coach basketball. My mind was at complete war with itself, and I felt queasy. I literally hated so much that I was so conflicted on what was happening in my life. Troy shouted something again as the game was neck and neck as Blaine was working hard on the court. He was fascinating to watch, and I couldn't wait to watch him in Tennessee.

"James," he turned to look at me during a time out, "Are you thinking about following Blaine?" he nodded his head, "Yea, I am. I don't know how well Lucy will handle being separated from Blaine right now. They are thick as thieves, and I know he won't be around all the time but at least we can get dinner, or he can come over for dinner. I want to give him space to be a college student but be closer than a flight away." I just nodded as I swallowed down on the emotion it provoked.

"We will come home all the time,"

"Does Blaine know?" I asked him and he shook his head. "Not yet. I am waiting for him to announce and sign to make it official. I am trying to find a good area. 30 minutes to an hour away from Knoxville." The game resumed and it was a back-and-forth tug away the entire time as once they went into half time, I looked around to see both of my kids sleeping. "We can put them in the car seats if you guys want,"

"No, I love holding him." My dad said and I couldn't help but laugh, Tommy had Saylor and he just winked. The game had continued after half time as Troy was stressed as he sat on the edge of the chair. His hair was practically standing up at this point as this meant so much to him every year. He wanted to be the best. I nearly ached from all the thoughts running through my head as I needed to talk to Troy and then I needed to talk to Dana, Brea, and Mia. Maybe there was something.

Why was I settling?

The frustration imbedded underneath of my skin.

The game was neck and neck the entire way as all the time-outs were called and everybody was on the edge of their seats. Blaine threw up a three and it circled the rim and fell in as the other half of the gym screamed with excitement as I cheered for him. I couldn't help but love watching him play his favorite game.

Just like I loved watching Troy coach.

My stomach rolled.

I inhaled deeply as I looked at him as he chuckled with his best friends as I felt like this was all riding on my shoulders and how was that fucking fair? The buzzer sounded in the gym, and I watched West Ashley celebrate on the court. Troy ran his fingers through his hair as he nodded towards his coaches as they shook hands before shaking hands with the other team. Troy pulled Blaine in for a hug as they said something which caused both to laugh.

"I need to head home and get them in bed." I said nudging towards both kids and our dad's nodded as I started to pack up. "Brie," his voice made me pause and I turned around to face him and he waved me down. I walked down and he pulled me into his body as he kissed the top of my head. "Let's talk tonight. I can see it on your face. It'll be better if we just talk it out and we can go from there. No decisions, just talking."

I only nodded because I didn't know what else to say. I wanted to avoid it. I didn't want to talk about it. I wish we could go back in time and him never get the offer. It made me feel fucking terrible. So, fucking terrible. He kissed my cheek before heading towards the locker room. I stopped Blaine as I gave him a big hug and a congrats as he was all smiles after a great game. I guided the parents out to the car as each of them put a kid in the car seat. My dad came up to me and he squeezed my hand. "Just talk to him, baby. You get to feel it all, but you will feel better after you talk to him."

"How do I tell him no?"

My dad hesitated and I couldn't hold back the tears as he hugged me tightly. "Just talk to him. Maybe there is a solution out there for the both of you to win." I didn't add on because there wasn't enough money to pay everybody let alone fund another studio. I exhaled as I got in the car, and I headed home. I let Luna outside into the back yard while I took the babies upstairs. They were both half asleep as I changed their diapers and into PJs before letting them nurse.

They both fell asleep quickly which made me know that they would get up in the middle of the night to eat. I tucked both in and I headed downstairs as I found Troy. He was sitting at the counter with a beer in his hands as he looked down at the counter. His hair standing up and his tie long gone. "Just talk. Don't think. Just talk." I stopped as I looked at him and I exhaled.

"I want to say no."

I saw his face flinch and I closed my eyes.

"But then I feel like a terrible fucking person."

Troy took a long pull of his beer as I rolled my lips together trying to find the right words. "Because how can I let you tell me over and over again to reach for the stars and do all of my dreams and then I turn around and tell you no to one of your biggest dreams." I couldn't stop the shake in my voice, and I knew he heard it because his eyes snapped to mine. I inhaled as I stared at the ceiling, "This isn't fair. I want my studio, I want to watch you coach college basketball, I want to be with my family, I want to let your friends have this shot. I want all these fucking things and we can't have all these fucking things and it breaks my heart."

Troy stood up and he walked over to me as he pulled me into his grasp, "Because there is no winning in this situation. Because I know you didn't want to tell me because you didn't want me to let go of my dream, and I can't tell you no because this is your dream. I don't know how we both get both of our dreams and I want both of us to have our dreams." His fingers tugged through my hair, and I pressed my face into his chest.

Neither of us spoke for a long period of time because what else was there to say?

His lips pressed into my hair, and I looked up at him, "All of the other girlfriends and wives are on board?" I asked but I knew. I knew they would all be ready to let them fly. Troy only nodded his head and those pained blue eyes. "Gabi, if you don't want, too. If you want to say no then it's a no and it's a no from both of us. They won't be mad."

"Yes, they will and don't lie about it. I've heard the salaries. I've heard the excitement that it brings you and I know it brings them. Yes, they will be mad at me. Yes, they will hate me, and they will not want to be around me anymore. It will change everything and the only way to prevent that is say yes and I don't want to be the one backed into the corner. It's not fair. You are asking me to give up my business, the one I worked so fucking hard for and the one I love running and you are asking me to just…walk away."

Troy grimaced, "No, I am not asking you to walk away. I am asking you how we can make this work for the both of us. Because I want you to have that. You worked hard and I see the shine in your eyes. There must be a way for both of us to get what we want." I swallowed, "This is why I can't say no," Troy scrunched his eyebrows as she stared at me. "Why? Why can't you say no?" Tears filled my eyes and they fell one by one down my face.

"Because you'll resent me. You might not tomorrow or the next day or next month or next year but one day. You'll look back and be upset that I said no and held you back from your biggest dreams. You'll look back and see all the missed opportunities that you could have had because your wife wanted to run a dance studio that may never make the kind of money you can make in one year." My voice cracked in half, and I bit down on my lip as I couldn't stop the sobs. "Gabi," his voice was pained with the words, and I just shook my head as I tried to walk away but he only held me tighter. "No, we aren't walking away. Not until I say what I want to say to that."

He tipped my head backwards and framed my face with both of his hands, "You just said coaching at the college level was my biggest dream and that isn't the truth. The truth? You are my biggest dream. Saylor. Sutton. Gabi. That is my dream. You three. Yes, do I want to coach college basketball. Yes, yes, I really fucking do. But if you asked me if I had to choose between my wife and kids or basketball? I would choose you. Saylor. Sutton. I would choose you three over anything else because that is the important thing. My friends would agree. I am nothing without you three." Those blue eyes were serious, and our eyes connected.

"You can say no." he whispered to me, but I could see it in the depth of those blue eyes he was pleading with me to say yes. "I need to talk to Brea, Dana, and Mia. I can't form a complete opinion until I talk to them. I will approach them this week." I wiped away my tears and I started to walk away when Troy folded our fingers together. "Come back," his voice was a hoarse whisper and I just turned to face him. "The guys want to send all of you women there. We'd keep the kids and you guys could road trip to Statesboro, look around the town, and see if this is even something you all want. You guys can talk about it together and Sage does have reservations herself."

I chewed on my lip, "I want you to have a full view on everything before you do say no and Gabi, I want you to listen to me." I stared at him as he stroked my cheek. "I will never be mad at you for choosing what is best for you, our kids, and our family. You finally got settled in our lives and this is a big change again. You've had plenty of big changes."

My eyes closed and I let my forehead hit his chest. His arms secured me to him. "But you want me to say yes."

He didn't say anything.


Troy's POV

Thursday, December 3rd, 2020

I could tell it was getting closer to Christmas break based on how my classroom felt. The kids couldn't focus and getting them to write a paper was near pointless. I ran my hands down my shirt as the bell rang and all my kids disappeared. It was lunch time and I dropped in my desk as I ran my hands through my hair.

But you want me to say yes

It rang over and over in my head. Daily. Hourly. Minute.

I let my head fall into my hands as I wish it wasn't this hard. I wanted to say no before Gabi ever did so that I could show Gabi that I would put her first. That I saw her vision. It just…it wasn't that easy. "Head up, big man." I looked at Jax as he walked in my room with his laptop balancing on his hands. We both had the same free period this year and he commonly found himself in my room. "Hi," I rubbed my face and Jax chuckled, "Gabi still not coming around?"

"We made it all of two months in our marriage before shit started hitting the fan. Jax, we barely talk right now." Jax blinked and turned his head, "Wait, are you fighting?" I shrugged my shoulders, "I wouldn't call it fighting. I would call it we don't know what to say right now. There hasn't been any yelling or anything, but we also just don't talk. She doesn't know how to make this work. I think if I was given an offer around here, she would have jumped into my arms. It's the moving and God, I feel bad because she finally has her feet planted on the ground again."

"Look, tell her give you a year and she can open another one in Statesboro. My god, a Duke dancer down there?" I shot Jax a weary look. "I don't even know how to approach her. She feels backed into a corner with the offer that she can't say no but at the same time I think she gets emotional thinking about leaving and she wants to stay." Jax sighed heavily as he tapped on his computer for a moment. "Is she open to going to Statesboro with the girls?"

I nodded, "They are going next weekend. At this point, I've asked her to keep an open mind, but I think again, she would have jumped at the opportunity with me but her dance studio. The one she is pouring her blood, sweat, and tears into and it's neither of our faults. We never expected this to happen. If I would have been pursuing college basketball jobs, I would have had long talks with Gabi about holding off on the dance studio until we were settled. It wasn't even in my thoughts though and I encouraged her. I want her to do her dreams. She deserves it."

"But so do you."

"But how do I ask her to step away from hers to do mine?"

Jax just looked at me and I rolled my lips together as I just nodded my head, "There is no correct answer to these problems. I also can't see her sad again. That will personally ruin me." Jax went to say something when the door opened to my classroom. I looked up to see Cameron just as my phone started ringing. I shook my head as I picked up my cell phone to see it was daycare. I frowned as I answered, "This is Troy,"

"Hi Troy, this is the school nurse over at the preschool. They brought in Sutton who is running a fever and is coughing." I frowned, "He wasn't this morning. How high was his fever?" I asked as I put my phone call on speaker phone as Cam and Jax stared at me. I opened the text app as the nurse started spouting off words. "His fever was 103," I cursed underneath of my breath. "How is Saylor?" I asked as I shot a text message to Gabi.

Troy: Daycare called. Sutty is sick. 103 fever and coughing.

"She's fine. Her temperature is normal, and she doesn't appear to have any sort of cough – yet." I heard Sutton cry on the other end of the phone as I got a text back from Gabi.

Gabi: (sad face) I am about to walk into a meeting. Do you need me to reschedule? I have two more though. They will be a bitch to reschedule. I should be home by 4 though so you can go to practice. I'll have somebody cover dance tonight.

I exhaled as I responded, "I have to get a sub at school or somebody to cover my afternoon classes. I'll be there as soon as I can." I brushed my hands through my hair as I finished the conversation. "I have free period next hour," Cameron said as his class must be at lunch right now. "I can come cover your room and then they can find somebody for the last period of the day." I just nodded as I rubbed my face before picking up my school phone.

"This is the first mental note to not have kids. I swear, I am with a sick kid more often than I am at work." Jax and Cameron chuckled as I talked with the front office, and they liked our plan as they would find somebody to cover my class this afternoon. "Before you leave, I was," I shook my head. "Gabi and I are in a tough place at the moment. I am trying to give her space to think, and I am not pushing her. That will only result in a snap decision none of us will like. She's going to Statesboro, and we'll talk again after that."

Cameron deflated with my words, "I'm sorry. You guys, I wish this was easier for her. For me. I want to say no to prove that I would put her in front." Cameron grunted as I packed up my stuff while telling Cameron what my kids afternoon plan was which luckily for him was written on the board and all of it was laid out on my desk. "Thanks guys, Gabi said she would be back by four. Hopefully I will make it to practice but if not, I will let you know."

I shot another text to Gabi.

Troy: Say is okay, I am going to leave her there so I can see if Sutty needs to go to the doctor or not. Will you pick her up on your way home or I can pick her up on my way to practice and she can hang out there.

I jogged to my car and made the short drive to them as I walked in the front door as I heard Sutton's cries from here. The front desk staff gave me an apologetic smile as I walked into the office and Sutton spotted me quickly and cried reaching for me. "Hi buddy," he stuffed his head in my neck and let out a big cough with another cry. "Are you going to take Saylor, too?" I shook my head. "No, Gabi or I will be back for her this afternoon. Sounds like he might need to go to the doctor." We gave him Tylenol before I left since it was typically a two-person job.

After signing him out, I covered him with his coat before putting him in the car. I buckled him in, and he cried and tried reaching for me. "I know, buddy. Let's go home and see if we can take a nap, yea?" I shut the car door as my phone rang. "Is he okay? Do I need to leave work?" Gabi shot off rapid questions and I gave off a chuckle, "He's okay. He doesn't look like he feels good, but he doesn't. I can handle him, Brie. Go do you meetings."

"Are you sure?" she asked again, "Yes, Brie, I am sure. We'll have a dude's day. I'll see how he is over the next hour or so and see if I need to call the peds."

She gave off a sigh, "There should be plenty of breastmilk in the fridge,"

"They sent me home with half of the bottles,"

"Okay, okay," I could hear the nerves in her voice and my heart thumped a bit behind it. "What time are your meetings?" I asked her. "Now, 2, and 3. The last one is short."

"Okay, go kick ass. I'll talk to you in a little bit, okay?" she sighed, "Okay, you promise to call if he gets terrible?" I smiled, "Yea, I promise. Hey Gabs?"

"Hm?"

"I love you, baby."

She let out her own sigh, "I love you, too. I'm sorry that things have been weird,"

"Don't apologize. We can talk more later. Go to your meeting!" she laughed, "Okay, okay, I'll call after,"

"Yes, ma'am,"

She hung up and I looked in the rearview mirror as we would just go see mom. That would make her feel better. I knew that it made her nervous when they got sick. I circled the car towards her office as I ran through a drive-through for coffee for the both of us and pulled into her office building. I got Sutton out and he just laid on my shoulder as he let out another few coughs while I carried both of our drinks inside. He let out a few whimpers, "I know, buddy. Let's go see mom. She'll make it all better."

I got into the elevator and went to their floor before I walked out into the office. I nodded towards the front desk and then I made my way back to her office. I saw it was still empty and Annie was outside. "Hey, Annie." She looked up with a grin, "Hi! Oh, look at that sweet boy. Is he okay?"

"He doesn't feel the best. Had to pick him up from day care early. How long is Gabi's meeting supposed to be?" I asked and she looked at the calendar, "Mmm…maybe fifteen more minutes? You can go in her office." I nodded as I walked in, and I sat the drinks down before I sat back into her office chair. I rocked Sutton as he sniffled and twisted his head. I didn't even want to fight him about his runny nose. My eyes looked at her desk and I couldn't stop my smile.

A picture of us back when we were dating, an engagement picture, a maternity picture, a picture of both babies together after we brought them home, and then a few wedding pictures already on her desk. My eyes slipped down to see a pros and cons list and I tried to pull my eyes away but couldn't.

Cons: Giving up Zoey's, moving away from Zoey, leaving family, Zoey's

Pros: Troy gets his dream, new adventure as a family, money

I shook my head as I closed my eyes, I didn't want this to be about money. I know it was at the forefront of her brain because of our latest budget talks but that shouldn't be a reason that we choose this job. It was a pro in the sense that it made sense to do it, but we had to have all the reasons to do this. Money wasn't one of them. I wanted to erase it off her list. Sutton let out another big cough and whined as he rubbed his eyes when the door to the office opened as she was staring down at her phone. "C'mon, Troy,"

She pulled her lip into her mouth as I could see the worry on her face. "We're right here," she jumped but a smile pulled on her lips before a frown covered as her eyes narrowed in on Sutton. "I figured you needed to let your mommy eyes see him or you would stress all day." She picked him up off my shoulder and he cried reaching for her. "I'm right here, Sutty," she kissed his head, and she exhaled while holding him. Her eyes closing and she just held him. I got up and found something to protect her blouse from his snotty nose.

"Thank you," she whispered, and I let my lips press into her hair. She sat down with him as I leaned against her desk. He let out another cough and her face worried more. "I can take him to the doctor. You have meetings." I told her and she closed her eyes again. "I'm also not going to pretend I didn't see this. We don't have to talk about it now, but I need you to know that I saw it. No secrets," I told her. Her eyes flickered to the paper, and she held her breath. "The only thing I want to do is take this off," I grabbed a pen, and I erased the money portion. "That isn't going to be the reason we take this opportunity. If money is the only benefit you see, then we aren't doing it."

Gabi looked at me and she started to say something, but I shook my head. "Yes, it can be an enticing factor and if there was a whole bunch more on this list of pros and the money was a benefit? Sure. We aren't deciding for the money, though. Money doesn't make me happy; it might make me comfortable, but it doesn't make me happy. You three, make me happy." I let my hand hold her face and she exhaled as Sutton coughed – again.

"I can cancel my meetings,"

"No," I told her, and she looked up at me. "You finish your day. I'll call the office and I will get him an appointment. I'll pick up Saylor after that. Jesse can handle practice. It was going to be a short day anyways." Gabi tried to protest, and I shook my head. "No. That way we're both home tonight. I feel like it's going to be a low-sleep night. I can see if my mom can come over and watch him tomorrow."

"Maybe the afternoon? I am using a PTO day here to use some of it. I just need to be at the dance studio in the afternoon." I nodded as I kissed her cheek, and I pulled her mouth to mine. "I love you," she gave me a half smile and I kissed her as I made the phone call to the doctor, and they could get him in at 2. I shot a text message to the basketball group and told them I wasn't coming. Jesse had the practice plan as I sent it to him earlier today. They all agreed.

Gabi tried to nurse Sutton, but he wanted nothing to do with it. "Gabs," I caused her to look at me. "We'll keep a close eye on him." She just nodded while stroking his hair. "Why am I scared?" she whispered as he coughed and cried while clutching her shirt. "Because he's your baby. That's why. You love him and want to protect him. Nothing more than that." She nodded and wiped her face. "He wasn't sick this morning. He was in such a good mood this morning."

Sutton was asleep so I gently moved him to the couch and barricaded him with the pillows. I then pulled her up into my arms and I circled her up. "He goes to daycare, its winter, they went to the game the other night. It could be any of the things, Gabs. I'll get him checked out, okay? I love you. I'll send you a text message after the doctor's appointment, okay? Enjoy your coffee, nail those meetings, and put in your two weeks' notice."

"What?" she pulled back surprised, and I shrugged, "I don't know why we are waiting. We have six months' worth of savings stashed away and the dance studio is making money. Go work their full time and be able to spend more time at home with them. That way you can fully see what the future is for us." Gabi blinked, "Wow, I really wasn't expecting that from your mouth."

"I have been thinking it for a little bit. Go do what you love, maybe see what you can work out with Mia, Dana, and Brea. I want this to work for us, Gabs." Her eyes lifted to mine, and I kissed her. "I do. I want to figure out how I can make this work for both of us. Whatever it takes." She just fell against my chest, and I circled her up as neither of us moved. "I'll see you at home. I'll order food in. I'll call my mom. I'll take care of it."

"I love you," she whispered, and I kissed her head. "I love you, too."


Gabi's POV

Sutton was asleep on my chest as we were lying in bed together as the doctor said to keep a close eye on him. RSV was going around at daycare and with his premature lungs it could be worse for him and Saylor. They said to keep them separated as much but she was probably already exposed, and it was only a matter of time before she was going to get sick. Troy delivered on all his promises today and caught me off guard with one.

His mom was coming over tomorrow at noon to allow me to go to the studio. He relied on every word that the doctor told him right back to me. He ordered Chinese food for the both of us and we took turns eating while we fed Saylor and held Sutton. He wasn't interested in any sort of food and the doctor said if he was still giving wet diapers to not be that concerned. He finally latched a little bit ago but only ate for ten minutes.

He had to work hard to breathe to eat but he completely chilled out once we stopped. Troy came into the room, and he had one of the most exhausted looks on his face and I know that none of this has been easy recently. I patted the spot next to me and Troy happily collapsed down on the bed. "He's asleep," I nodded as I kept my hand on his back. "I put my two weeks in. I think Marisa was a little surprised, but she told me to cash out my PTO for my last two weeks. I told her that I would come back early next week to wrap up any accounts and they already had my replacement, so I was going to review some things with her."

Troy smiled as he kissed my temple, "Good. I don't know if we were going to survive that schedule much longer." Troy exhaled and I grabbed his hand and folded our fingers together. He looked over at Sutton and I inhaled myself. "Why isn't money a pro and a reason to take this job?" I wanted to clarify earlier on his statement, and he reached over to turn my head. Our eyes connected, "Because money isn't the reason, I am taking the job in general. Is it a pro, yes? Is it the reason I want this job? No. I also will hate if you are unhappy. I'd rather us be happy here than you be unhappy there. Happiness means more to me than money does."

I nibbled on my lip, and I looked down at Sutton's head and his little hair. I kissed the top of his head and battled back tears. I turned my head to face Troy and I could see his heart break in front of my eyes. "Gabi," he reached for Sutton, and he gently took him off my shirt and put him on the middle of the bed as he never even moved. Troy then gently pulled me into his lap, and I buried my face into his shoulder. His hand held my head, and we didn't say anything. "I know you know how much I want to do it, but you can say no, and I will love you more."

His words were comforting but heartbreaking within the same breath. I pulled back and he gently pressed his lips to my forehead. "I am not making any decisions until I talk to Dana and Brea. I am not making any decisions before I go to Statesboro and see the town with the girls. I am just…it's a daily battle in my head because I want you to have it. I want you to go and prove that you are that great of a coach because I know you are. I know you are that great of a coach and I know you could absolutely kick ass. It's just hard choosing between our happiness."

"And like I have said a thousand times before you are my happiness." His thumb stroked my cheek, and I shook my head as the tears continued to fall. "But you will at some point regret it. Regret saying it. Regret talking to me. At some point you are going to hate me because I held you back and for something we may not know if it will ever pan out." He swallowed and I watched him look at my face because I knew that I was right. He can't guarantee that his feelings won't change. There is no guarantee that he gets another shot.

I may never get another chance to run another dance studio.

"I'm sorry, baby. I am so sorry." He hugged me and I just hugged him back. Our bodies intwining until I heard Sutton coughing and I broke apart to pick up my baby. I cradled him to my chest, and I inhaled deeply as I kissed his temple. "You're right. I can't guarantee what our future will look like or how our feelings will pan out but what I can? I can guarantee that I will love you. That I completely understand why this is hard. There is no easy decision. I get it. I get it. I knew the moment I got the offer that it was going to be a fucking impossible decision for the two of us."

I nodded as I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I curled up with Sutton and Troy just curled up behind me as he let his hand brush against Sutton's head. He coughed and let out a cry as I just cradled him closer to me. "I'm sorry baby," I whispered to him, and I kissed his temple. I stood up as Troy sat up to watch me. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I am going to rock him downstairs so you can get some sleep. You must work tomorrow and coach tomorrow night. You need to sleep."

He ran his fingers through his hair as he nodded, "Okay, I love you," he said and I smiled, "I love you, too. You are right. That will never change but we can't be at each other throats about it for the rest of our life. We have to make the right choice and I do want to have all the facts before I come with a decision." Troy just nodded, "That's why I love you," he whispered, and I gave a soft smile as I shut the lights off and headed downstairs as I rocked him back and forth.


Friday, December 4th, 2020

Gabi's POV

I pulled open the dance studio doors as it was noon and luckily – all three of the women were already here. Brea, Dana, and Mia all sat around the desk chatting and laughing with lunch. They waved and I smiled back but my heart felt heavy. I had to talk to them about this today so they could grasp the initial shock and then we could go from there. Next weekend we were all going to Statesboro and when I got back, I wanted to have some sort of answer for Troy.

"Hi Gabs, how was work?"

"I didn't go. I took the half of the morning off and I am glad I did. Sutton has RSV and was up most of the night coughing and crying. He finally ate this morning and that made me feel better. They said it is going to get worse before it gets better though." I dropped my purse and pulled up a chair. "Before we start talking about this weekend and next week, I need to tell you guys something." Each of them looked at me as I inhaled, and I looked at each of them.

"Troy got a D1 coaching job offer," there was a gasp from one of them and I swallowed down on the emotions. "Where? Here?" I shook my head. "No, in Statesboro, Georgia." Nobody spoke for a moment, and I looked at the ceiling. "Nothing has been decided yet because God bless him, Troy knew how difficult this decision and choice was going to be for me. He feels terrible about the timing, but he wasn't in search of it. They came to him and asked him and all his friends to come coach there."

"All of them?" Brea squeaked and I nodded my head as I rubbed my face. "Obviously not that many people know yet. It's under wraps as they are trying to decide if they are going to accept the offer or not." I inhaled and I looked at each of them and then on the picture of Zoey on the back wall. "And you obviously know how impossible this is for me. I love this place and I love working with all of you, but Troy pushed me to achieve my dreams and I am struggling to figure out how to make all this work. We'll be two hours away. I won't be here. I want this place to succeed." I paused with a shake of my head, and I wiped away the tears.

"Gabi, we can figure something out." Dana mentioned and I smiled, "But I won't be pulling my weight. I will be leaving here, and I won't be here." I exhaled as I stared at the ceiling for a moment. "I don't know what to do." I whispered to them. Brea got up and sat next to me, "I think whatever you want to do we can make work. This will forever be your place and until we have the money to start Zoey's 2.0 in Statesboro, we can make something work unless you just truly don't want to move."

Mia nodded, "We can do zoom meetings and it's not like you are moving across the country. Just two hours. You can come up when we need extra hands, big weekends, or if you have big ideas. You can do a lot of the back-end stuff from home. You can still very much be a part of this place. I think Troy is probably just as heartbroken because he loves watching you here."

"I feel like if I walk away, I am letting my sister down."

"You aren't walking away. You are giving you and your family a future. What if it doesn't go well? Guess what – you come back here, and you take over again. Nobody is taking your place from you. We will run it and you will be consulted with all the decisions. I bet in a year or two we can make another dance studio. Branching out to another state? Let's build our reputation. Let's be wanted. You can market us, and you can do all these things you are brilliant at as we get competitive."

I thought about their ideas, and it made sense. I would be the back-end work and I would market us, I would make us a bigger name, and maybe, just maybe we could be successful in a branch in Georgia. It was worth looking into, but we had to make this place great. "I would be here until July. I would put my heart and soul into here before we left – if we do. There is no yes yet from my mouth. We are all going to Statesboro in a couple of weeks to look at it. The girls. I want to have a solid opinion of everything before I make my decision."

"As you should. Gabi, you are an amazing wife, mother, and business owner. Just because you are moving two hours away doesn't mean it's the end of the business owner. You are going to rock it. You can always stay with me."

"Or me,"

"Or me,"

The girls all echoed their love and sentiment that I wasn't going anywhere. "You will still be the primary shareholder and taking on the admin stuff will be the part that is going to be the most important. Mia will run finances and front desk but there is so many other things. You are going to rock them all. Plus, we will figure it out along the way. Don't use this as your excuse. You must truly not want to go because of a lot of other things. We will make this work."

I swallowed and nodded my head as I wiped at my face, "Thank you, for listening, and being supportive. This has been so hard on Troy and me the past couple of weeks because it feels impossible. I want to do both things. I want to run this and Troy reach for his dreams. I want to be present though."

"And you can. You are just going to enjoy driving," I couldn't stop my laugh as Dana squeezed my shoulder. She hugged me and I hugged her back. "Thank you for listening. I don't want to tell anybody else and this stays between us four." They all agreed, and I hugged each of them and thanked them as I wiped away my tears.

"You are an amazing woman and the thing that makes you amazing? The love you have for your husband and kids and this place. This place won't make you happy though when you are 80. Your husband and your kids will. Tell Troy this is a trial year and if it isn't working then you can always come back." Brea gave a gentle squeeze, and I hugged her. "It will require you guys to tell me when you need extra help here and how I can help. I am willing to get familiar with the highway, but it will require the babies to come with me and hopefully Troy's parents will watch them. I don't know. It will take a lot of work, but I need you to tell me when I am needed."

They all agreed, and I let out a long sigh, the stress leaving my shoulders. "I think you know the decision you want to make."

"I do but it hurts."

"Sometimes the hardest thing is the right thing." Mia said softly and I nodded with a smile, "I know,"

"Zoey would be proud of you regardless."

I laughed and nodded, "She would. She did pick Troy," they all laughed as I inhaled and smiled, "Okay, let's work on this dance."


I sat in the car as Troy's mom was still with the twins as I went to the first half of Blaine's game, and I sat in the driveway. I called Beth as she answered quickly, and I could hear her laugh. "Hi, what's up?" I smiled at her voice. "I wish you were here so we could curl up on my couch and drink wine together." Beth laughed softly, "I can fly out and be there tomorrow night." I closed my eyes, "You'll be here soon enough. I just…I need reassurance about something."

"Okay, what?"

"Troy got a D1 offer to coach at Statesboro in Georgia which would require us to move two hours away. I would have to leave behind the dance studio but after talking with Dana, Mia, and Brea we concluded that we would make it work and I would still very much have a presence among Zoey's dance studio but why does it feel like I am disappointing Zoey?" I couldn't stop the emotion that left my mouth with it, and I could hear Beth sigh softly, "Oh Gabi, there is so much in that sentence. But the first thing is that Zoey would not be disappointed. She wants you to be happy. I know Zoey's makes you happy, but do you know what gave you that sparkle back? Troy. Your kids. Those are what truly makes you happy and that is what Zoey would want. It's not like you are shutting it down and selling it. You are doing a leap of faith with your family."

I wiped at the tears as I nodded my head as I listened to her. "Zoey's does make you happy and it is yours and it will forever be yours. There is no taking away the hard work you have done and will do for that place. Two hours is not the end of the world. You can still be such an important part of that place. You aren't leaving. You are just taking a different role…for now. If you hate living, there. You hate being there. You hate not being at Zoey's then maybe you and Troy must reevaluate. You truly need to talk to Troy about it and tell him that this is a trial and if you are unhappy after a few years then you can come back to this life. This doesn't have to be forever. This isn't all or nothing."

My hands ran down my face as I let out a loud exhale and I looked at my house. "But also, how amazing for Troy, but how come I know that he hated telling you?"

"He did. He feels terrible. They sought him out. He wasn't searching for this. They want him and his friends. It's almost too good to let them pass up and I am just…I feel backed up in a corner with this answer because I feel like I have to say yes but I am scared. I finally have everything I want in my life. I have a wonderful husband, I have amazing kids, I love the dance studio, and I finally don't feel this huge pressure of distress about Zoey for the first time in a long time. I finally feel like everything is right. This feels right and I just…I feel terrible that I want to say no because how do I do that to Troy?" I was breathless by the end, and I just closed my eyes trying to control every emotion.

"Oh Gabi,"

"And I am so scared all over again." I couldn't stop it. The sob that echoed from my mouth as I tilted forward. "Honey, talk to Troy. Stop hiding behind things that you know you can work around. You know that Zoey's will forever have your name attached with all your ideas. You are scared because this might just change absolutely everything."

"I miss you, Beth."

"I'll be there tomorrow." She spoke and I laughed, "No, I'm okay. You are coming soon but I just…I don't know how to thank you for this conversation." She laughed, "I am your big sister this is what I am for." We talked for a few more moments and I hung up the phone as I wiped at my face. I think in the forefront of my mind I wanted to blame the dance studio because it was the easiest excuse. It was easy to blame that I had put all my work into that place, but I knew the moment that I talked to them that we would find a way.

It was because I was scared.

I was scared to move from my family.

I was scared to move away from everything I knew.

I was scared that this could ruin my relationship with Troy.

I was scared that I would lose my place in Zoey's that I worked so hard for.

I was so scared.

I hadn't been this scared since Zoey died. We felt safe. We felt solid.

Why rock the boat?


HIIIIII. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I am doing well post-op and I have had time to write to both stories! I can't wait to share in the future! Let me know all of your thoughts! I hope you are all having a great state to the new year!

Please Review!

Next Update: February 5th