Craig Must Fight
Chapter 1
By Shadowgate
Stan and Kyle were sitting in the shopping mall food court and watching Craig with his double cheeseburger, fries, and strawberry shake as he enjoyed himself. They felt bad about blowing his birthday money but they paid him back and now they watched him flaunt it.
"So Craig how's your life been?" asked Stan as he was just a bit irritated.
"Well it's gotten better Stan, it has definitely gotten better" responded the boy in dark blue.
Stan sat with his elbows on the table very bored.
Kyle was more enthusiastic and said "I think it's great the way you comforted Kenny during his final moments."
All three boys froze for a minute.
"I did what I could" said Craig as he choked up.
After 30 minutes when Craig was stuffed they were all ready to leave.
Stan decided he had to get a few things off his chest.
"Craig!" Stan said.
"What is it?" Craig shot back.
"Look you're not my favorite person in South Park. It's true we don't invite you to do shit and we were selfish by wanting your money. However Craig you're a human being and you do deserve respect."
Stan walked off and Craig had a small smile upon his face.
However that smile was wiped off his face when he saw Cartman charging up to him.
"Craig you're nothing but a loser. You didn't lend us money to make Tijuana music and we had sombreros and everything. Now you sit at that fucking table and make Stan and Kyle watch you eat dinner."
Kyle jumped in "leave him alone fat ass."
"Kyle you're a pussy."
Kyle got mad and punched Cartman in the mouth. Although he now had a fat lip he was unfazed.
"You're a fucking bastard!" yelled Cartman.
"Asshole" Craig remarked and Cartman walked off.
Kyle commented "he's just fucking jealous because Stan and I have ignored him for a week and now he sees us hanging out with you. He's nothing but a fat waste of sperm and the world would truly be better off if he fucking died."
Craig agreed.
Craig woke up for school after a night of fun at the mall. He took a shower and got ready while stuffing banana bread down his throat for breakfast.
In the school hallway he met up with Butters.
"Hey Craig!" Chimed Butters
"Hey Butters." Craig responded.
Butters said "did you hear about the crazy woman who loved Pinocchio?"
Craig said "no" and wondered what Butters was babbling about.
Butters said "she sat on his face and said tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies."
They laughed and headed into Mister Garrison's class.
Mister Garrison was in a shitty mood and he told the class to "sit down and shut up."
"Now class my mother had a fetish for seeing grown men in diapers."
Butters laughed out loud but the rest of the class seemed annoyed.
"Do you find it funny Butters? Maybe your dad gives it to you up your ass every night knowing what a shitty father he is."
The whole class laughed at Butters.
Principal Victoria got on the intercom and told Mister Garrison to report to the office.
"Goddamn it!" said Mister Garrison as he went to the office.
Craig said "hey guys I think Mister Garrison needs medication."
Cartman mimicked him "I think Mister Garrison blah blah."
Craig looked over at Cartman really pissed off.
"What's up bitch?" Cartman stated.
Craig flipped him off.
"I'll whoop your fucking ass you cocksucker." Cartman threatened.
Craig got mad and said "bring it on fat lard."
Cartman walked over and pushed Craig out of his chair.
Craig got up and slapped Cartman across his face.
The class yelled "FIGHT" and Cartman rammed into Craig.
The fight didn't last long since Mister Garrison returned and told them both to break it up.
In the lunch line Cartman began stepping on the back of Craig's shoes. Craig told him to knock it off but then Cartman managed to trip him and then he struggled as the lunch crowd continued walking his way. By the time he got up he was really pissed off but he got his lunch and ate. He'd find another way to get even.
2PM
"Hey faggot" Cartman called out to Craig.
Craig just flipped him off.
"I'm talking to you bitch!" Cartman yelled.
Craig just ignored the fat little lump.
3PM
Craig ran fast trying to catch up with Tolkien and Clyde but Cartman grabbed him by the arm and spun him right into a mud puddle.
"Son of a bitch!" Craig yelled.
Cartman started laughing at Craig and Craig was so furious. None the less he had to get on the bus and head home. When he got home he found his dad was home from work early. His dad Thomas had nothing better to do than jump on his ass for being muddy.
"Damn it Craig I'm going to teach you how to do laundry since you get beat up by Eric Cartman of all people."
After Craig was shown how to work the washer and dryer Thomas spent 15 minutes cussing him out for getting muddy.
THE NEXT DAY
"Hey Craig you're a little pussy." Cartman said.
Craig responded "I got free pussy from your mother you asshole."
"You fucking retard" Cartman shot back.
"You got me in trouble when you got me covered in mud you shit head." Craig was furious and ready to make a move.
Cartman just laughed and then Mister Garrison came in.
"Okay class we're going to learn about the life of Nathan Bedford Forrest."
"Shit" Tolkien spoke out loud.
Tolkien was immediately sent to the principal's office and Cartman laughed.
Craig and Tolkien had been good friends throughout third grade and this year as well so Craig just gave Cartman a very dirty look.
"Bitch I'll beat your ass down after school."
Mister Garrison clearly didn't hear Cartman's threat and went on teaching the class.
At lunch time Cartman tried to trip Craig and Craig immediately shoved him hard. Of course Counselor Mackey saw the whole thing and dragged Craig to the office.
"Mister Mackey he tried to trip me and he's been giving me problems all week."
"Craig you're always part of the problem and you had no reason to shove Eric Cartman."
Craig got pissed and yelled "since when does Eric Cartman behave?"
Mister Mackey answered "you keep your voice down damn it."
Craig said "you can go take a shit in your pants."
Craig got on Facebook later and a message.
My name is Craig Tucker. I got suspended for three days for telling the school counselor he could go take a shit in his pants. My dad whooped my bare ass with a belt.
Craig's mother came in and told him that he'd be doing extra chores due to his disruptive behavior at school.
On Friday Craig's suspension was over.
Thomas told his son "try to stay away from Eric Cartman and do your best in school."
"I will dad" replied Craig.
When Craig walked through the hallway he said "Mister Mackey your shoe is untied."
Mister Mackey thanked Craig and complimented him on being well behaved. Then when Mister Mackey bent down to tie his shoes a third grader shot a rubber band straight into his ass.
"AHHHHH Now that was not appropriate behavior you are in big trouble."
The second grader ran off and Mister Mackey never found him.
Craig went into class and was greeted by Tolkien.
"Hey that was really funny that you told Mister Mackey to go take a shit in his pants."
"Well Tolkien my parents sure didn't think so."
Tolkien told Craig to mellow out and Craig said he'd try.
Mister Garrison called Craig out into the hallway to talk to him about a big assignment from two months ago that was missing since Craig had been out with the flu. Craig was given an extra chance to do the assignment for full credit. Indeed Craig was known for being angry most of the time he couldn't help but be grateful at this time.
Craig got his lunch and sat down. He thought he'd have peace but he was wrong.
"Hey Craig do your parents know you jack off?" Cartman asked.
"No they don't" Craig replied but then he said "hey wait!"
All the fourth graders except Kyle laughed.
"Shit" Craig exclaimed!
That trick question had Craig pissed off but he was going to let it go. He just wanted to eat.
During gym Cartman pulled down Craig's gym shorts and the coach made Cartman must run a few extra laps. Craig decided to laugh at Cartman because Cartman running was something funny people in South Park got to see on occasion.
At 3PM school let out and when Craig got home he was told specifically by his mom that Mister Garrison called about the assignment he was given extra time to complete.
After he did it he had dinner.
At 8PM Tolkien called him up.
"Hey Craig I will fucking tell you our history lessons have not been fun at all. They've sucked and Cartman keeps laughing over that Klan founder Nathan Forrest and I'd love to knock his fat ass out."
"Same here Tolkien he has done nothing but give me shit."
"Oh Craig I got to go my dad is calling me. Goodbye."
Soon after that Craig went to bed.
The next day at school seemed like just another day. In the hallway Mister Garrison stopped Craig and told him after recess he wanted that make-up assignment handed in.
Craig was happy to have a good time at recess. He was on a swing watching time go by. Usually he played football but today he needed time to rest.
"Mister Mackey what are you doing in here?" Craig asked as he entered the classroom upon his return from recess.
"Craig you need to be quiet and take your seat umm kay."
"Class attention please"
"This morning Mister Garrison was informed his father was killed three days ago by a semi-truck and it was very bloody. So now that you're aware of the bloody accident that took the life of Mister Garrison's father and it was bloody you can take a moment of silence. Anyhow he was a good man and it's a shame he was killed that way. His body was mangled and the police on the scene said there was a ton of blood umm kay."
After a moment of silence Mister Mackey asked Craig about that extra credit assignment.
"Oh I have it Mister Mackey."
Craig looked through his desk and two binders and couldn't find it.
"Craig you said you had it what's going on?"
After five minutes of searching and stating he could not find it Craig gave up.
"Well Craig you're just plain awkward umm kay. Does your mommy have to dress you every morning?"
The whole class laughed.
Later that day Craig was at the grocery store with his mom. When they were in the checkout line she asked him about that extra credit assignment. He had no choice but to tell her he lost it.
She flipped out and was in total shock. "How could you lose it? This was a major issue and we went through you finally did it and then you lose it! Oh don't you think I should be pissed at you?"
After hyperventilating for 10 minutes Craig's mom asked him "do you think some kid is stealing your papers?"
"I don't know mother."
Craig began to have labored breathing and was so upset he didn't care what happened next that day.
