Learning To Swim

Chapter Four: The Interlude


Peepers is finally up to speed, mostly. Now Hater has to decide what to do next. It's not so easy when you've never dated before and the people around you aren't exactly sold on the situation.

Glad everyone liked the version of The Fremergency Fronfract in this story. We will see a few more altered episodes as the story progresses, though probably not for a few chapters.

See you at the bottom!


It was late, but Lord Hater wasn't asleep. He felt too wound up, far too conflicted. He was sitting on his bed, playing one of his old fighting games almost mindlessly as his thoughts spun in his head.

Where did he go from here?

There was no going back, that was for sure. Peepers knew about the kiss now, much as Hater had hoped to keep that detail private for at least a little while longer, and Sylvia probably knew by this point as well. Wander had certainly told her. Probably as soon as they'd rounded the corner. Part of Hater felt slightly relieved that the secret was out. The rest of him just felt anxious.

Peepers had not been happy. He had been stressed and out of patience, and quite obviously disturbed, and Hater winced at the thought of the uncomfortable questions his third in command had subjected him to. Peepers was already aware of the kiss, Hater could only assume he must have mentioned it while he was under the influence of the electric squid, though he couldn't remember doing so, and the watchdog wasn't going to drop the matter until he got the rest of the details.

So, Hater had to admit that yes, he and Wander had smooched, though he hadn't mentioned that he was the one who'd started it. Peepers had just assumed it had been Wander, and Hater had been happy to pass off some responsibility for the incident. But he'd had to admit that he didn't hate when it had happened.

Or afterward.

Peepers had been somewhat incredulous, shocked might be a better word. He had grilled Hater relentlessly. What had Wander said to him, exactly? What had he done right before? Right after? What about those other visits from Wander during the preceding week? Had the scruffy nomad tried to come on to him then as well?

Embarrassing wasn't even the word. Embarrassing was, in fact, a mere understatement.

Hater had been vague in his answers, shrugging off the questions where he could, and giving monosyllabic answers or grumbles, blustering and yelling when that failed to dissuade the watchdog. In the end, when he'd had all that he could stomach, Hater had flown into a rage. He'd blasted the ground all around Peepers with electricity and screamed that if the watchdog was so eager to torture him, he'd drag him down to the torture room and see how he liked it.

That had ended the conversation, though Hater knew, with a swirl of dread where his stomach should be, the issue was far from settled. Peepers was certainly going to bring it up again later, and none of his answers were likely to satisfy the watchdog, if he could even force himself to give them.

He sighed, tapping the buttons on his controller and watching apathetically as his digital fighter delivered a crippling blow to his opponent, knocking him off the building they were battling on. Instead of starting another match, he dropped the controller on his bed and lay back slightly, staring up at the high ceiling.

It just wasn't fair. They'd finally managed to successfully conquer a planet, and one that was apparently pretty difficult to take on top of that. And yet he wasn't even able to enjoy it because of everything else that was going on.

He'd been tense all through the invasion, his gloating had really been lacking its usual spark, and then the whole incident with his tooth had happened, followed by Peepers' interrogation. Now the skull-ship was on the move again, where he wasn't sure. Peepers would be pouring through the databases of planets, looking for another one that was ripe for conquest.

Hater grimaced.

It wasn't like he didn't want to conquer the galaxy, unleash a thousand years of darkness on his enemies and cause the suffering of millions, it was just that there was a lot of other stuff taking up his thoughts right now, and it was difficult to get fired up about it.

And despite the uncomfortable conversation with Peepers that was still bothering him, much of what was taking up Hater's thoughts were speculations about Wander.

As usual.

Though his thoughts about Wander had certainly shifted from a week ago. It was strange not to be constantly thinking of different tortures to inflict on the little pest, ways to destroy him forever, and the gloating words Hater would say in that moment. It used to be his only comfort when Wander had messed up his plans for the thousandth time, humiliated him with his games and hugs and acted like he and Hater were friends in front of his army.

Now, remembering his murderous thoughts was…strange. It was almost like they were from another lifetime, or had been experienced by a different person. The thought of Wander being tortured or killed, crying out in pain and fear made an unpleasant tight feeling clench at Hater's chest.

Even stranger, he found he was actually missing the little nuisance.

It had only been one full day since he'd seen the furry orange freak, although it had certainly been an unusually exhausting day, but it felt like it had been significantly longer.

What had Wander done after he'd left the fair? Presumably he and Sylvia had found somewhere to sleep on Clathor VI. Hater huffed out a breath, imagining Wander curled up inside his hat, sleeping in the open, in the cold and wet like the vagabond he was. Weirdo. But he felt his face quirk into a small smile at the image. He'd only seen Wander sleeping like that once before, when his watchdogs had captured the two of them asleep. Wander apparently slept pretty deeply, though the soldiers had needed to be careful not to wake Sylvia. At the time, he hadn't thought much of it, but now the picture was, well, sort of cute he supposed.

Hater shook his head, smile slipping off his face. This was all still so confusing. He hadn't really had much time to come to terms with his feelings for the little pest, and Peepers' accusations and betrayed silences were not helping. It still felt wrong not to hate Wander, to have…other feelings for him instead. It still felt like he was betraying his principles, he knew that was what Peepers thought in any case. But it was also sort of…nice to be thinking about someone this way. Hater had really never had these thoughts about anyone before. They were mostly embarrassing and left him feeling uncomfortable and confused, but the warmth inside him when he thought of Wander, when he remembered their time at the fair and that moment under the trees, well, it felt kind of pleasant too.

Kind of, he reiterated to himself.

What was Wander doing now?

Probably wandering somewhere, helping some pathetic saps or playing his banjo for squirrels or something. Those options all sounded pretty plausible to Hater.

Was Wander thinking about him too? Was he thinking about the kiss? About how Hater had looked in the glow of the tree lights? Did he want to do it again?

That thought gave Hater a delightful thrill deep in his ribcage somewhere, that familiar warmth spreading through him.

More importantly, what should Hater do now?

Wander liked him. Hater had no doubt about that. It was Wander after all. Wander had always liked him, even while Hater had been trying to kill him. Wander had also seemed to like the kiss. He'd given Hater that look that made his insides almost ache, but in an oddly pleasant way. Wander had even said that he wanted to get together again when he'd been leaving with Sylvia. And the little nomad had always been able to find them, regardless of where the skull-ship ended up. Wander was always showing up, usually when Hater least expected it or when it was most inconvenient. Hater could just wait until the next time Wander tracked them down to talk to him. Still, that could be quite a while. Sometimes they didn't encounter the two pests for several weeks.

Normally, that is, slightly over a week ago, Hater would have been relieved when he didn't have to deal with the nuisance for a while, but now he felt a sinking inside at the thought.

It was almost as though his insides were conflicting with each other, like there was a battle between these knew, strange feelings and his previous ideas, further complicated by worries over his reputation and his standing with his army and Peepers.

Hater wasn't even sure where to classify Wander in his thoughts now that the nomad no longer occupied his Most Hated Enemy box. His other feelings were odd and confusing and he really wasn't sure what all of them meant. He wanted to see Wander again, to spend time with him and, well, to kiss him again. But what did all of that mean? Did it mean that Hater wanted to date Wander, the way he'd wanted to date pretty ladies he'd seen before?

Like kissing, Hater had thought about dating a lot. Despite his best efforts, the skeleton lord had never gotten beyond a first date with anyone, and had gotten all the way through precious few of those. He was therefore unsure what dating looked like long-term. He had mostly imagined himself conquering planets with some vague, pretty woman swooning at his side, flexing his muscles for her, listening to her compliments and being fed chocolate covered strawberries.

None of that really seemed to fit his feelings for Wander. For one thing, if he was conquering a planet and Wander showed up, that generally meant the conquering was about to fail. Being awesome and evil wasn't going to impress Wander or make him swoon, although Wander had seemed impressed by his sweet moves when they were playing the carnival games at the fair, so that was something. Wander also did compliment him quite a bit, though they weren't always the kinds of compliments Hater expected to receive from those around him. And maybe if they were dating Wander would cook for him some more. That sounded pretty nice. His mouth still watered when he thought about the breakfast Wander had made for him a few days before. And of course he wanted to hold him and kiss him again, and probably other things.

What did you even do when you were dating someone?

Dinner? A movie? A walk in the park?

Wander had been the one to initiate their 'outing' last time. Did that mean Hater should ask him out this time?

Hater stood, pacing across his room and back, grumbling to himself as he thought.

Yeah, that made sense, he supposed. Besides, he had been bothered by Wander always taking the lead and acting so sure of himself all the time. If Hater asked Wander out, then he'd get to pick the place they went and what they did. That way, he could show the annoying little hippy how this was really done.

He could completely wow the little hairball, show Wander the best time of his life so the nomad would understand just how lucky he was to be going out with the universe's awesomest evildoer.

In that case, he should maybe take a few days to plan before trying to ask Wander out. Wander might even show up by then, which would save him the problem of trying to talk to him through Sylvia after how badly that had gone last time. He could also use that time to do some dating research. It just made sense if he really wanted to knock the socks off the little hippy.

Oh yeah, Lord Hater, Number One Superstar would show Wander he was the greatest date in the galaxy!

Feeling a little better, Hater slipped into his pajamas, throwing his daytime cloak on the growing pile on his floor. He flopped back again on his bed, smiling when Captain Tim came over to cuddle. Hater chuckled as his pet tore through his pajama cloak, making a nest inside his ribcage. Tim-Tim always knew how to help him fall asleep.


"You doing okay there, Wander?"

"I'm jus' fine, Sylvia, why do you ask?" Wander glanced up from his knitting, needles still flicking rapidly back and forth.

"Well, you've knitted an extra three arms into that thing, and last I checked, Mrs. Neebors only has four."

"Oooooh." Wander paused, lifting the pink and purple sweater he'd been knitting to examine it. It did indeed have three too many arms now. "Guess I was a li'l distracted," he admitted, "but I really am fine." The nomad smiled at his best friend, who didn't look entirely convinced. He started unraveling the thick wool, eyes slipping away from Sylvia again and back to his work.

"You've been 'a little distracted' for three days now." Sylvia reached out, taking the unfinished sweater and the needles from Wander and setting them aside on one of the stone ledges in the cave they were sheltering in, making him look at her again. "It's Hater, isn't it?" she stated more than asking.

"We-ell…" Wander clasped his now empty hands in his lap, thumbs twiddling absently. "'S just been a little while since we saw all our friends on the skull-ship. Don't want Hatey an' Mr. Peepers an' all the watchdogs ta be worryin' about us." He glanced up at the zbornak shyly, then down again at his hands.

"It's only been a week. We've gone longer than that without seeing them before. Plus, we did see them for a minute a few days ago when we had the whole 'thing' with that weird Screwball guy." Sylvia rolled her eyes at the thought, still slightly disturbed by that incident.

"I know, I know. We just didn't really have time ta chat then, you know?" Wander sighed.

"You were the one who wanted to give him some space to figure things out," Sylvia pointed out reasonably.

Wander nodded.

"An' I still do. I don't wanna pressure him, and I think he and Mr. Peepers needed some time to sort some things out."

"And I think you were right about that. So, what's bugging you?"

Wander shrugged, wishing he still had his knitting to focus on.

The truth was, he wasn't exactly sure why he was feeling like this. Sylvia was right. It really hadn't been that long since he'd seen Hater, but then so much had happened between them last time they were together. There had been so many changes; exciting, wonderful and exhilarating changes.

Wander had been so happy when Hater had kissed him. It had been amazing, and something he'd never expected from the skeleton lord, even once Hater had stopped thinking of them as enemies.

Hater had really seemed to enjoy it, though he had still gotten a little annoyed at Wander for being silly while they were kissing. Hater had even been going in for a second kiss before Sylvia and Mr. Peepers had arrived. Wander had been sure he'd been reading the situation correctly. Hater liked him too, he was sure.

But now, after spending a whole week apart, Wander found little worries had started creeping up on him. After all, Hater had never shown any interest in doing anything of the kind before that night at the fair. He hadn't even liked when Wander had hugged him, even when Wander was sure Hater had really needed a hug. Until the kiss, Wander had figured Hater had no romantic interest in him at all. What if the overlord just gotten caught up in the moment, and later he'd realized he didn't actually like Wander that way?

What if Hater had decided he just wanted to be friends after all?

Normally Wander would be fine with that, and he still would be if that was what Hater needed from him. He'd resigned himself long ago to only being friends with the skeleton. He'd still get to spend time with his buddy and help him. And the thought of being friends with Hater, of spending time with him without the overlord feeling the need to try to capture and torture him still sounded great.

But the thought that Hater might want to be with him had been wonderful. It had made Wander practically giddy with happiness. He still felt all warm and tingly inside at the thought of those strong arms around him, the intensity in Hater's eyes and the feel of his mouth, that intoxicating scent of him and how cute he'd looked with his skull glowing from embarrassment.

And now Wander was afraid he'd been wrong after all, that he'd assumed things about his friend that he shouldn't have, given off signals that had made Hater uncomfortable. He knew he sometimes got too enthusiastic, and he wanted this to be true so badly.

Wander started slightly as his friend put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to find that Sylvia had brought her nose close to his face, eyes focused on his.

"This is really buggin' you, huh buddy?" she asked.

"No, no." Wander tried to keep his voice happy and carefree. "I told you, I'm fine. Even if it turns out he doesn't feel the same way, we'll still be the best of friends, right?" He smiled at Sylvia, but he couldn't stop the small tremble in his voice.

Sylvia sighed, eyes shifting to look at the ceiling of their cave, then back down at Wander. She seemed a little uncomfortable.

"I didn't tell you at the time, but Hater actually did try to call the day after…everything."

"Really?" Wander perked up. "Why didn't ya tell me?"

"I told you it was a wrong number." Sylvia pulled back slightly. "It…really kind of seemed like one. He sounded like he'd had a few too many Thunderblaz's and I sort of hung up on him." She gave an involuntary shudder, brushing both hands together as though cleaning them of dust. "He seemed pretty loopy to be honest, but he did want to talk to you." She met Wander's big eyes again. "Sorry I didn't tell you, buddy. I just figured he didn't really know what he was doing and, well, I guess I didn't really want to deal with it." Guilt crept over her face.

"It's okay, Sylvia. Thanks fer tellin' me. I know this whole thing's happened pretty fast." Wander felt a bit of the worry dissipate. He wrapped his arms around Sylvia, giving her a squeeze. "D'ya think I should call him?" he asked after a moment, his voice sounding small in his ears. "Maybe he's worried about callin' again."

He could feel Sylvia's arms tighten around him, hugging him back.

"Do what you've got to do, Wander," she offered after seeming to think for a moment. "I'm sure you've given that idiot plenty of time and I don't want to see you moping around the place any more. Here." Letting go of him, she pulled out her phone and dropped it into his hands. "I'm going to go get some firewood, okay? Let me know how it goes."

"Sure thing, Syl." Wander watched as she headed out of the cave mouth and into the trees. He looked down at the phone in his hands. He was still a little nervous, which wasn't a feeling he usually had about Hater, at least not after their first few encounters. It wasn't like him to be so hesitant and unsure, not about a friend.

An' whether Hater wants somethin' more or not, he's still one of my best friends.

Wander took a deep breath, gathering himself. He would just call, and see how Hater was doing. And if the skeleton seemed comfortable, then maybe he'd ask if Hater wanted to get together again. Maybe he'd ask if wanted to kiss him again.

Hater's number was saved in Sylvia's phone as 'bonehead.' Wander pressed the call button, shifting his feet slightly as he listened to the ringing.

"Go for Hater!"

Wander felt a flood of happiness at that voice, despite the nerves that still seemed to be dancing down his spine.

"Hey, Hatey!" he started. "How've ya been? 'S been a whole week since we saw each other an' I was just wonderin' what one of my best buds was up to!"

"Wander!" Hater sounded briefly shocked, and slightly upset. That had been his usual tone whenever they ran into each other over the past couple of years. The next second his voice lowered, and it sounded as though he'd brought his glove closer to his mouth. "Is the zbornak with you?"

"Nah," Wander said cheerfully. Syl's givin' us a little privacy. So, how're you doin'?"

"Fine, just fine, I mean, totally awesome and evil and all that junk." Hater's voice was louder. He sounded a little nervous now himself, but he didn't seem too bothered to be hearing from Wander at least. That made the nomad's heart warm slightly in his chest. "I conquered a couple of planets and now I'm ruling them with an iron fist, and I totally beat the high score on my new video game, so yeah, I'm doing awesome."

"That's great, Hater. I'm real glad you're doin' so well."

"What, uh, what about you?" This question was said offhand. Wander could imagine Hater leaning back and examining his nails. "You've probably been wandering around or something dumb like that, right?"

"Sure have! Sylvia and I've been travelin' through the Traiton Cluster an' we've seen some pretty neat things." Wander paused for a moment. He was touched that Hater had asked about him, even if he had done it in his usual Hater-y way. It was still nice. He'd like to tell Hater all about his travels; about the mineral caves of Ja'son and the kind folks they'd met on Mierd. He wanted to share his adventures with his buddy, but first there were some other things he'd like to say. He cradled Sylvia's phone close, trying to communicate the warmth he was feeling through his voice. "I had a whole lot of fun with ya at the fair last week. Didja have some fun with me too?"

There was a brief silence, and when Hater spoke his voice was quieter as well.

"Yeah, I mean, it was kind of fun, I guess."

Wander's smile widened. He was familiar with the way Hater talked and blustered when he didn't want to admit to anything. At least the skeleton lord had enjoyed their time together as well.

"And, you know…" Hater's voice sounded slightly strained now, as though he was forcing the words out. "You said you'd like to do it again. And, like, no big deal, but I just got this huge new tv in the theater so you could…I don't know, come and check it out if you're nearby. We could get something for supper too or whatever…"

Hater's voice had sunk to an almost inaudible mumble, but Wander didn't notice. He was stuck staring down at the phone. The next second a high-pitched squeal burst out from somewhere deep inside him. He hugged the phone to his chest, arms wrapped around it tightly, before pulling it away again, worried he'd hung up on the overlord.

"Yes yes yes! That sounds amazin', Hatey! When d'ya want me ta come over?"

"Like, tomorrow, I guess?" It sounded like Hater was holding the phone away from his face now. Maybe Wander had been too loud. "Oh flarp! Did Peepers hear that?" His voice was even more distant now, and it sounded like he was talking to himself. "Okay then, great, see you tomorrow, bye!" Hater hung up.

It sounded like there was still some tension going on between Hater and Mr. Peepers, but Wander didn't dwell on it for the moment. His grin was so wide it felt like it was taking up his whole face. Happiness was swirling all though him from the tips of his toes all the way up to the top of his head. He was going to see Hater tomorrow. Hater had actually invited him over! They were going to have so much fun! True, he still wasn't sure whether Hater actually liked him or just wanted to be friends. He hadn't really had a chance to ask about that, and Hater hadn't mentioned the kiss. This could be a date, but it could also just be a fun hangout between buddies. He guessed he'd have to see when he got there.

Either way though, he felt incredibly proud of Hater. The skeleton had come so far in such a short amount of time. He'd get to spend tomorrow with his buddy; no chasing, no destruction attempts and no hatred. For now, that was more than he could have hoped for.

He heard some cracking twigs outside. It sounded like Sylvia was coming back noisily on purpose, in case he was still on the phone.

Wander headed to the mouth of the cave, eager to share his happiness with his friend. She was sure to have some questions, and he'd be happy to answer all of them. Then they should probably get an early night. They'd have to leave pretty early tomorrow to track down the skull-ship in time.

"Hey Sylvia!" he called. "Have I got some news fer you!"


Thanks for reading!

Hater's still sorting out his feelings, and still figuring out this 'dating' thing. He hasn't received his dating lessons from My Fair Hatey, so right now he's still pretty stuck on things he would like to do, and what he gets out of the relationship, and isn't really thinking about Wander's needs. He will have to do some growing during this relationship, I think.

And Peepers is not happy with this situation. He pushed Hater a little too far, so he's doing some regrouping. He's going to have to figure out some things to do over the next couple of chapters. There will probably be some more clashing between him and Hater for a while.

And Wander was feeling a little nervous this chapter. He really wanted not to put too much pressure on Hater but ended up second guessing and stressing himself out a little.

I'm hoping to put up another chapter for Shades Of Self soon, and I am also working on Anniversary, Never Hurts To Help and this story. Really not sure which will be updated first, so we will see.

See you next time!