Call of the Bravo

[The scene opens with a shot of a red heart decoration hanging over a lamppost, panning out to reveal more decked out in a similar manner. Being Valentine's in Toon City, it is the time to celebrate love in all of its forms, whether romantic, platonic, familial, friendly, affectionate, intimate, the whole nine]

[A few examples are shown through Princess Bubblegum coming outside of a coffee shop and is just about to take a sip before Marceline slides from the sky with a mischievous look on her face. The vampire queen produces a red rose from behind. The princess of the Candy Kingdom gives her a knowing expression before taking the rose with gratitude]

[Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup are shown making cards on a table, with colored hearts pasted in the middle of their respective colors to give to one another]

[Pepe is shown skipping about the street in his usual romantic manner as he passes by Chance and Jake coming in the opposite direction. The French skunk gives a wink to the Swat Kats while making a heart gesture with his hands]

[Even the likes of Tom and Jerry are hiding Valentine gifts from one another, the former concealing a pink ax within a bouquet of roses while the latter is hiding a bouquet of tulips with a stick of dynamite in between]

[If there is one person who seeks love and recognition on a day like this more than anyone, it's a certain slick-talking, but also socially aloof macho blonde. That man is none other than Johnny Bravo]

[Talking of whom, we cut to the interior of a bedroom, stylized to that of a late 70s design with the primary subject combing his thick blonde hair in front of a dresser]

Johnny: Hmmmm…you talkin' to me?

[Cut to Johnny's reflection]

Johnny: Who me?

[Cut back to Johnny]

Johnny: Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, tall, blonde, and handsome.

[Cut back to the mirror]

Johnny: Right back at you, gorgeous, I've never seen a man lookin' so sure of himself.

[Cut back to Johnny]

Johnny: That's why they call me Johnny Bravo. Cuz I'm fit.

[Johnny flexes his left arm]

Johnny: Fine.

[Johnny flexes his right arm]

Johnny: And full like a tank ready for some sweet sweet lovin'.

[Johnny stands up and strikes several poses to emphasize his point]

Johnny: I'm like a gold mine ready to be explored, if ya' know what I mean.

[Johnny pushes back on his hair and his pompadour springs back accordingly]

?: Awwwww, my little Johnny's gonna find another date, is he?

[Johnny suddenly straightens up and his head turns 90 degrees to the right. It cuts to his mother, Bunny Bravo, standing in the doorway]

Johnny: Aaaaah, c'mon now, Momma, ya' know I ain't a little pipsqueak anymore.

Bunny: Of course not, dear, I know you're a big strong man now, buuuuuut to me, you're always gonna be my little coochie-coo.

[Bunny approaches Johnny and gives an affectionate pinch to his right cheek]

Johnny: Hrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmm…

Bunny: So, who's the lucky gal or guy this time?

Johnny: AHEM, that's on the confidential side, after all-

[Johnny pulls out a hand mirror]

Johnny: -a man never kisses and tells.

Bunny: Okay, okay, dear, I'll leave ya' to it. Just make sure you're not out for too long. These streets get mean when the sun goes down.

[Bunny walks out of the room. Cut back to Johnny]

Johnny: Oh, you don't need ta' worry about that, Momma. By the time evenin' rolls around, this Bravo'll have a rose in one hand, and a hottie in the other. HA-TO-HUH!

[Johnny strikes three poses with brimming confidence]

[The scene transitions to Holabird Street where Angelina and Alice are shown walking down the lane with chocolate hearts, passing by Sagwa, Dongwa, and Sheegwa coming in the opposite direction]

[Cut to Johnny propped up against a lamppost as he surveys the area for anyone attractive]

Johnny: Let's see now, hmmmmmm, look to the left.

[Cut to the left side; Arnold and Wolfrun are shown walking side by side]

Johnny: Now to the right.

[Cut to the right side; Courage and Clifford are walking in opposite directions]

Johnny: Looks like I'll have ta' work a bit a' the old charm.

[Johnny raises his brows twice before zipping off to the left. As Wolfrun and Arnold are about to pass by the street sign, Johnny suddenly pops up next to it]

Johnny: Saaaaaay, any a' you gentlemen lookin' for a good time? I know a few places where we can get the good stuff.

Arnold: How good are we talking, blondie?

Johnny: Good enough that you'll be on Cloud Nine till next mornin'. So, whatta ya' say?

Wolfrun: Aha. That's cute and all, but coming from you…it's also rather pathetic.

Johnny: …Eh-

Arnold: Now, unless you wanna challenge these guns-

[Arnold flexes his arm pompously]

Arnold: -we've got our own business to attend.

[On that note, the gray wolf and Pitbull walk right between Johnny. Wolfrun smirks back at him]

Wolfrun: Himbos…tck, admittedly, I might go for that…

[Cut back to Johnny]

Johnny: Huh, tough crowd. Aaaaaah, well, plenty a' fish in these waters.

[Johnny zips off once more as the scene transitions to Oak Station as Gordon passes through with the Express. Brisby, Garnet, Usagi, Ami, Rei, Bugs, Daffy, Sonic, Shadow, and Cadence are waiting on the respective platforms. The Princess of Love in particular notices the gray rabbit and black duck trying to conceal something from each other while retaining uninterested expressions]

Cadence: Hmmmm…let's see if we can fix that…

[Cadence lights her horn and casts a little magic around Bugs and Daffy, the two stare into space before blinking twice…and then they both grin at each other]

Bugs: Ehhhhhhh, here's ya' gift, doc.

[Bugs produces a book titled "How to Spot a Narcissist 101"]

Daffy: And here's your gift, toothpick.

[Daffy produces a book titled "The Tortoise and the Hare"]

[Cadence gives an amused shake of her head when Johnny suddenly slides up to her]

Johnny: Hey there, pretty pink.

Cadence: Oh! Um, hello there.

Johnny: Don't suppose you'd be willin' to spice me up with some a' that magic a' yours, huh? Not that I really need it, of course, just a little somethin' that would make me more, appealin', ya' know?

Cadence: Hmmmmmm…I don't know, I only use it on people who really need it.

Johnny: AHEM, lemme rephrase that a little bit. I would very much appreciate it if you'd partake a little somethin' somethin' on me. It is the season of love, after all.

Cadence: Let me think about it…

Johnny: Daaaaw, please, missy, I mean, momma, I mean, your majesty. Ya' know it's a dire situation when the Tasmanian Devil's got someone before me!

[Johnny points to the left and the scene does a jumpcut to Taz smothering Digeri Dingo with a set of chewed up flowers as the latter spreads them apart with a half-lidded expression of bemusement]

Cadence: Hmmmm…okay, I think I can humor the request. But, just be wary, this might make you more popular than you expected.

[On that note, Cadence flashes her horn and casts her magic over the black-shirted blonde. In a flash, Johnny straightens up and then twitches from left to right]

Johnny: Huh, who the hay?! What happened?

Cadence: Oh, I just gave you a little boost is all.

Johnny: Strange, I don't feel any different. You sure that worked?

Cadence: Of course, you'll see the effects in due time.

Johnny: Hmmmm, I suppose I'll hold ya' to it, Miss Princess a' Love.

[At that moment, James pulls into the station with three orange coaches. As the passengers get on board and Johnny goes down the steps, Cadence covers her mouth as she chortles]

[The scene transitions to Johnny walking through the city as several pairs of eyes suddenly stop to look at him as he goes past them]

[Pepe freezes in place as Johnny passes by in the opposite direction]

Pepe: Hmmhmmhmmmmmmm, who iz zat strapping young fellow?

[Legosi and Louis are shown coming out from the bookstore as Johnny goes by. Legosi stops and his tail begins to wag, much to Louis' confusion until he blinks and stops as well]

Legosi: Do you smell a sweet fragrance in the air?

Louis: Yes…it's lavender.

[Samurai Jack is sitting on a bench polishing his katana as Johnny walks behind him. The warrior suddenly pauses in his work and blinks…he takes a whiff of the air…and then a small smile curls on his lips]

Samurai Jack: Truly immaculate…

[Cut to Johnny stopping as he faces the camera]

Johnny: I suddenly have the sneaky feelin' that I'm being watched…

[The camera pans out from Johnny. Sure enough, Blitz, Exile, Pepe, Puss, Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Aurora, Twilight, Musa, Aisha, Legosi, Louis, Jack, and Lola are standing behind him with sus looks on their faces. Johnny arches back as everyone turns in sync to hide from view…Johnny turns around again, the crowd's motion is repeated…Johnny spins around like a turntable and the crowd follows accordingly]

Johnny: HmmmmmHMM!

[Johnny turns at the right time to see everyone staring at him]

Johnny: You all followin' me?

Pepe: How can we not follow someone so irresistible?

[Johnny's brow rises up from his shades at this]

Johnny: Irresistible, ya' say?

[Johnny looks towards the camera and a smirk comes across his face as a synthwave piece plays in the background]

[The scene transitions to the Bravo residence as Bunny is sat in the living room, watching the television when Johnny comes in the door]

Bunny: Oh, Johnny, you're back!

Johnny: Yeah, and with a few 'friends', shall we say?

[Johnny looks back to the group that followed him, now accompanied by Pinky, Brain, Moana, Barbie, Puss, and Pink Panther. As the entourage files into the house, Johnny's teeth shine with a blinding light that captures the whole screen]

[The scene fades into the next morning, Johnny is slouched over his disorganized bed, his hair ruffled up and his head turned away from the camera. He groans as he picks his head up from the mattress]

Johnny: Oooooooooh, boi, wotta night…

[Johnny groans as he tries to stand up. He sees the mess all around the room, plastic cups all over the floor, items on the shelves knocked over, even the mirror is smudged with makeup]

Johnny: Musta been some party last night…

[The scene cuts to Johnny going outside of the house and pressing his back against the door with a sigh]

Johnny: Guess it's back to the same old same old…

[At that moment, Pepe passes by the residence and gives a wink]

Pepe: How you say, call me maybe…

[Following this, Samurai Jack passes by, turns to Johnny, and gives a nod]

Samurai Jack: It was an interesting evening…we should do it again sometime…

Johnny: …Then again, maybe Bravo's back in business.

[The scene fades out with a heart symbol, much akin to the original show]

Character Guide:

Johnny Bravo, Bunny Bravo - Johnny Bravo

Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Pepe Le Pew, Taz, Lola Bunny - Looney Tunes

Arnold the Pitbull - Tiny Toons Adventures

Legosi, Louis - Beastars

Princess Cadance, Twilight Sparkle - My Little Pony Friendship is Magic

Samurai Jack - Samurai Jack

Wolfrun - Smile Precure

Angelina Mouseling, Alice Nimbletoes - Angelina Ballerina (2002)

Aurora - Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Blitz, Exile - Road Rovers

Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup - The Powerpuff Girls

Chance Furlong / T-Bone, Jake Clawson / Razor - SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron

Clifford - Clifford the Big Red Dog

Courage - Courage the Cowardly Dog

Digeri Dingo - Taz-Mania

Elizabeth Brisby - The Secret of NIMH (1982)

Garnet - Steven Universe

Mama Bear, Papa Bear - The Berenstain Bears

Marceline, Princess Bubblegum - Adventure Time

Moana - Moana (2016)

Musa, Aisha - Winx Club

Pink Panther - Pink Panther

Pinky, Brain - Pinky and the Brain

Puss in Boots - Puss in Boots/Shrek

Sagwa Miao, Dongwa Miao, Sheegwa Miao - Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat

Sonic the Hedgehog, Shadow the Hedgehog - Sonic the Hedgehog

Tom Cat, Jerry Mouse - Tom and Jerry

Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon), Ami Mizuno (Sailor Mercury), Rei Hino (Sailor Mars) - Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon

Gordon, James - Thomas and Friends