thank you for reading and reviewing! love to see your responses! and thanks for the birthday wishes :)

happy to get this to you before I leave! i love this chapter. it's one of those ones that has been in my head for a while. hope you love it too.

enjoy xoxo

disclaimer: I own nothing


It's a brisk fall morning in early November. They celebrated their two year anniversary at the end of summer with a long, stop-filled road trip to Key West. It was Rory's idea, still (unnecessarily) feeling like she needed to make up for missing their anniversary day the previous year. She planned the whole trip, picking out every significant literary or food stop along the way to the final destination - Ernest Hemingway's house and museum. It was two full weeks of blissful joy, taking turns driving and picking music, or reading out loud when music felt like too much noise around them. Stopping to shower, sleep and have slow, leisurely sex at a few hotels along the way. It was a dream, and it somehow brought them even closer than before.

This second full year together looked different than their first. With Jess's book and all the heartache and triumphs it brought with it, with the change of Rory's schedule to be more stable. Which made a discernible difference to both of them, and between both of them. Having the security of knowing how often they will see each other and being able to deal with hard things in person together, and also celebrate the good stuff in person together, strengthened their cosmic connection. It has decreased the secret anxieties they harbored while apart, because it's allowed them to go to sleep every night knowing when they will see each other again. And while it has resulted in Rory doing continuous coverage of older news, rather than being on the scene at the start of something, it's a sacrifice she's happy she made. It was worth it to be there for Jess when he needed her, and to witness a beautiful change in him regarding his work.

Rory knew that their third year together would look different too, with Jess taking on more at Truncheon through his student program. So, it felt right to her to plan something extra special. Both to celebrate the last year, and to get some quality time together before things changed.

As she sips her warm coffee at their favorite café in their neighborhood, the sun kissing her skin through the window near their table, she thinks of a moment from their trip.

She walks out onto the balcony of the Hemingway house, Jess still behind her as he explores every detail of the room leading out this way. The sun hits her and warms her all over, almost too much, but just enough that she doesn't walk away. Instead, without even thinking about it, she breaks one of the rules and places her hands against the balcony to look out over the property. She closes her eyes and just lets herself exist in the moment - having time off from work, feeling incredibly giddy from her relationship with Jess, and also happy to have given him such a great surprise for their anniversary. He felt totally one upped this year, a complete reversal from last year, as he planned to make her pizza, pasta and tiramisu from scratch. And he did, and she was blown away - both by the food and watching him labor over it, but he felt it paled in comparison to her gifts. That made her even happier, because she wanted to do better just this one time at least.

Steps echo behind her against the old wood flooring. Its him, she doesn't need to open her eyes to know it, she can tell just from his walk. And she's proven correct as his familiar arms wrap around her, his lips place gentle kisses on the back of her head.

"I know you don't like his work, but he wrote some classic novels here. I can see the inspiration more clearly now in his stories," he mumbles against her head, fingers moving in soothing circles on her waist, "the beautiful descriptions really captured his love for this place, and for the women he pined over."

"If he wasn't so boring maybe he wouldn't have needed to pine," she teases, leaning her head back so it rests on his shoulder. He chuckles against her.

"He was married when he lived here actually, but I don't think that stopped him from pining for others. He was always chasing something."

"Rum and women, mostly, I'm sure."

"You're extra clever today," he laughs, "What I was going to say though, is that I can't imagine how much more beautiful his work would have been if he had you here like this, looking all ethereal and beaming out beauty like a glorious light, as his muse."

Her face tints pink, and she tries to bite down her smile.

"Sometimes you say things that I just know you would scoff at if you read it in a book."

He laughs again.

"Well, in a book, yes. That would sound contrived. But here, in this moment, it's exactly what I mean," he kisses against her soft hair, "you're shining."

"I think you're just feeling inspired by this place," she jokes, but places a hand on top of his and says sincerely, "thank you. I feel good."

"Good."

"And," she continues, turning to face him now, "you seem to be doing better. Much better than in Spring."

His face turns more serious, and he nods.

"I am. Much better."

She places a hand on his face and smiles.

"Good."

She kisses him before turning around again towards the sun. Jess moves his hands from around her waist to outside of hers on the banister, caging her in against it as he presses his body to hers. They sit quietly for a few minutes admiring their surroundings. Once again, she allows herself to enjoy the moment, and the feelings it brings her. She breaks the silence with a relaxed sigh.

"We could get married here one day. They do weddings," her voice is soft but strong. There is no unease in her words. Jess stills for a moment, remembering the time he stupidly brought it up in France. Aside from their short conversation about marriages on his birthday, nothing else had been discussed since then. But when he realizes that she's not uncomfortable, and that she actually wants to talk about this, he relaxes and smirks.

"You would never."

She turns to him with a raised eyebrow in challenge. He scoffs.

"There's no way you would get married at the home that housed the "painful" Ernest Hemingway."

She shrugs, "You don't know what I would do for you."

"I do, and I know that this is not one of those things. You may be generous and passionate and loving, but you're still a stubborn Gilmore at heart."

That makes her smile.

"You're right. I would never."

"Way to dangle that carrot in front of my face."

"You can have the carrot, just at a different location."

He playfully shakes his head, then leans down to place sweet kisses on her neck. Her skin pebbles with goosebumps despite the heat of the sun igniting her.

"For the record, I would marry you anywhere."

Her chest inflates with his whispered words, swelling with emotion. She turns and places a hand on his face, pulling his lips to hers for a kiss. They break apart and she looks into his eyes - bright and speckled with honey today.

"Vegas? With a Dolly Parton impersonator?"

He smirks, "absolutely. Much better choice than Elvis."

"That's overdone."

"I wholly agree."

"Our wedding song can be "I Will Always Love You"."

"Or "Jolene"."

She glares, "That's not funny. Who is Jolene to me?"

"Oh, no, it's definitely the other way around. I'm Dolly, telling all your Jolenes to stay back."

She giggles, "you won my affections for good. No Jolenes to worry about."

His smile is one of love and satisfaction. He turns them back to lean against the railing again, one hand lingering tenderly at her waist.

"Think I would like something small and intimate," he says quietly, images of them making this commitment running through his mind, "maybe on a rooftop somewhere, late Spring or early fall. Only enough seats for close family and friends."

She swallows as she imagines that too, "no microphones or big bands. Just a record player, set to some beautiful song as I walk down the aisle with mom."

He shivers at the vision her words paint. He turns his head to look into her eyes, big and blue and slightly hazy from getting lost in her thoughts.

"And when do you imagine this happening?" he whispers the question.

But she didn't get a chance to respond, because an employee came out to berate them for breaking the rules right then. The moment broke as they silently giggled and explored the rest of the property, Jess pretending to break rules constantly to make her laugh. The smile on her face grows as she remembers one of the many cats that live on the property taking a special liking to Jess, and how he pretended to be annoyed at its purring and rubbing against his legs. But she caught him humming "Everybody Wants to Be a Cat" to it while he thought she wasn't looking.

"Ground control to Major Gilmore?" his voice pleasantly cracks into her thoughts, and she turns away from the window to look at him with a shy smile.

"Sorry. Were you saying something?"

The side of his mouth perks up in an adoring gleam and he shakes his head.

"Nope. Just watched you space out and thought maybe it was time to call you home."

She makes a guilty face, then suggests with a smirk, "I think we should get a cat."

His eyebrow raises, "I'm not a cat person. Or a dog person. Or a pet person in general."

She sighs, "What kind of person are you?"

"A Rory person."

She playfully rolls her eyes but grins.

"You are a cat person. I was just thinking about our trip and that cat that followed you around like you were Mr. O'Malley."

"That's what had you smiling out the window?"

"Yes. Well, not just that. The whole trip and Hemingway's house," she decides to bravely admit after a sip of coffee, "about our illegal conversation on Ernest's balcony."

"He would've loved that, by the way," Jess argues, then puts his coffee mug down to take her hand on the table and says, "I thoroughly enjoyed that conversation and the dreams its inspired."

Butterflies erupt in her stomach and her chest heats.

He adds on in a whisper, "I've married you at least twenty times in my sleep since then."

"That's it?" she teases, cocking her head with a smitten smile.

"I said at least," he looks away as if in thought, "and I think that cat was at one of our weddings. As a ringbearer."

She gasps, "see! You need a cat."

He turns back to her with a smirk, and she already knows he's going to say something inappropriate.

"I've already got myself the perfect kitty," he winks and nods towards the general direction of her lap.

"I am starting to think you will burst into flames if you go more than an hour without making a dirty comment."

"I think I would too, let's not test it."

"Hey Rory, want some more coffee?" the cafe owner interrupts their conversation, smile on his face and a fresh pot of coffee in his hand.

"Have I ever said no before?" she jokes, lifting up her mug as he fills it, "thank you, Diego."

"Any time," he grins and nods before walking away. She lifts the fresh cup to her mouth and hums as she savors a sip. Jess leans in closer to her across the table, eyebrow raised in a wise look, "see, that's one of the Jolenes."

She has to put a hand to her mouth to stop from spitting coffee as she holds in a laugh.

"Diego? He's almost twice my age! Don't make it weird."

He shakes his head and sits back in his chair, "any man with a fresh pot of coffee is a threat to me. I know you, Gilmore."

"You're being silly. It takes much more than coffee for my love. Books are necessary too."

"Well, I do have the edge there. I have a whole bookstore for you."

"Exactly," she grins and nods. Her face softens before she adds, "and someone that knows me so well, he knows what I want our wedding to look like before I even do."

Jess now matches her soft grin and once again places his hand on hers on top of the table.

"I don't want to push you," he starts, voice delicate, "but I never did get an answer to my question. And I ask because I know you're the type of person that thrives with a plan, and I only want to do your plan and your wishes justice."

"You don't want to pull a Logan on me. I appreciate that," she squeezes his hand on the table and takes a deep breath before admitting, "I don't know the answer yet. I'm sorry. My mental vision board has always been education and career focused. I never really thought about when or how I might want to be married."

He looks over her face and doesn't find anything but honesty. She really doesn't know. He nods perceptively.

"You'll let me know when you know?"

Her grin displays gratitude and relief for his understanding.

"I will. Now that I've accomplished so many of those other dreams, I think it's time I put a vision to my personal life. Aside from being with you forever, I don't have a timeline for anything else."

He lifts her hand off the table to kiss the top of it, "you've been through a lot, Ror. Take your time figuring it out. Just keep me in the loop."

Its peacefully quiet between them for some time, as they sip their coffees and people watch together. She watches a couple walk by the cafe window, pushing a baby stroller and holding hands. They look younger than her and Jess, somewhere in their twenties. The image both warms her heart and causes a stab of panic. She looks to Jess, who she finds was looking at her the whole time. She blushes and asks, "what about you? Did you have a timeline in mind for…anything? A wife, a family? Retirement? Anything?"

He chuckles, "I'll retire when my creativity dries out, but I hope that doesn't happen until I'm dead."

"Jess!"

"The other stuff…I don't have any strong opinions about when," and as if he's read her mind, he continues with, "age is just a number. I don't use that as a yardstick, and you shouldn't either. What's important to me is that it feels right. I want to get engaged when I know it's something you want. I want us both to feel excited about the prospect when it comes to planning for a wedding. And I want to feel ready to be a father when the time comes, and more importantly I want to know that you feel ready to be a mother. Those are the things that matter."

She takes a relaxing breath and nods, "I feel that way too."

"Good. And by the way, if you never feel ready for those things, I'll still be by your side and I'll be happy there too."

"I love you."

The side of his crooked mouth perks up, "You're going to love me even more after I tell you what I have in mind for this weekend."

"What's that?"

"Going to Stars Hollow."

She smiles and looks at him curiously, trying to figure out why he would suggest that.

Then she gasps, "the Autumn festival? I didn't think you wanted to go so I didn't mention it!"

"I appreciate that, but guess who Taylor got to dress up as a pilgrim this year? I'll give you a hint, she's obsessed with you and only agreed because Taylor told her you used to do it."

"Aw! Doula is going to be a pilgrim? But wait, I thought they stopped dressing up as Pilgrims because of, you know, the violence and genocide they committed?"

He shrugs, "If I had to guess, Taylor is a Trump supporter, and probably brought it back in some misguided attempt to 'make America great again'."

She nods, "sadly, that does check out."

"So, what do you say?"

"Of course I want to go to Stars Hollow! You don't have to be at Truncheon this weekend?"

The excitement in her voice makes him smile wide; making her happy is the ultimate hit of dopamine.

"Thought so. And no, not this weekend. Only a couple kids coming in, and they'll have enough help, "he reassures her, "and Luke said we can stay above the diner."

"That's nice of him," her excited smile wavers slightly and it makes him laugh.

"Don't worry, I ordered a new mattress and it's all set up. No more stabbing."

"Thank god!" she exhales in relief, "there was nothing sexy about the scratches on my back from lying on that broken bed last time."

"There was plenty sexy about the scratches on my back," he winks, "and I'm sure we have no one to blame but ourselves for breaking that bed in the first place. The springs just couldn't handle our…acrobatics."

"That wasn't even ten minutes between dirty comments!"

"Sorry, I was starting to burn up."

She rolls her eyes and finishes her coffee before standing up, "Let's go home and pack for the weekend, Heatmeiser."


The perfectly orange pumpkins and scattered red and brown foliage around town has Rory smiling nostalgically. She walks close to Jess, who has his arm wrapped around her shoulders, as they head to a family dinner at the diner. Luke closed early to cook a meal for his loved ones, but not without a grunt or two of faux irritation at Lorelai's requests for way too many desserts for their small group. Jess and Rory spent the last few hours at Andrew's book store, combing through to find new additions and new versions of their old favorites. While there, she recounted to Jess the time that Christopher offered to buy her the encyclopedia and his card declined, but also how he did make it up to her by buying it at a later time. And in response Jess asked her, not unkindly, if her father often made promises he couldn't keep. That was a painful 'yes' for her to admit.

As they walk into the diner, displaying cornucopias and colorful gourds in the windows which Lorelai no doubt convinced Luke to put up, they are immediately greeted by Doula.

"Hi! You're here," she states with a happy smile.

"We've been here since this morning, but you were in school," Jess remarks smartly in response. She sticks her tongue out. Rory laughs and opens her arms for a hug, which Doula happily accepts. She then turns to her brother and squeezes her arms around him tightly until he hugs her back.

"You take up wrestling too?" he chokes out as she squeezes harder. She shakes her head and steps back before complaining.

"You could have surprised me and taken me out of school early! Today was so boring, we were forced to learn about the history of the Autumn festival."

"Sanctioned by Taylor, I'm sure," Jess mumbles, "and you can't just leave school early. Especially on boring days, those are the easiest."

Rory turns to him with a slightly raised eyebrow; he ignores her look.

"You didn't even like school! I know you dropped out. Mom told me."

Jess rolls his eyes and mutters, "Jesus. That was different, Doula."

The girl shakes her head rapidly, "No, it's not. I want to be a dancer or an artist. And you're a writer. That's art, and you didn't need school for that. Also, you sell people's art at your store, so you could just sell mine when I'm older. Then I really don't need school!"

"Stop, you can be a dancer or an artist and also finish school too. You can do everything, don't waste the opportunities you have. And I won't be featuring any of your art without at least a high school diploma," he argues, voice more stern than Rory or Doula were expecting. His sister frowns, then crosses her arms over her chest.

"Why don't you like school?" Rory asks her, inquisitive look on her face. She shrugs and looks away.

"I like to daydream, but I get in trouble for "spacing out" when I'm at school. It's not fair, because I get all my work done just fine. I just don't enjoy sitting in the classroom and listening to people talk. I'd rather be talking or dancing around or drawing, anything else really."

Jess's stance becomes more relaxed, and he taps her on the shoulder so she will look up at him.

"I get that. I struggled with that too. I liked to read novels all day instead of listening to lectures."

"See? And you dropped out."

"I did," he nods, "but there were a lot of other factors to that. It wasn't just school. If it had just been school, I would have sucked it up and repeated the year to graduate. There were a lot more issues. Other stuff, that you don't have on your plate, and I'll make sure you never do, that caused me to drop out."

"Like what?" Doula asks, and Jess catches a glimmer of concern on her face. He smiles softly.

"Nothing you need to worry about. Promise me you won't give up on school?"

She rolls her eyes, "Fine. But I still don't get it."

"You will, at some point. And keep in mind, I did get my GED very soon after I left high school."

"Okay. But you didn't go to college, so I don't have to go to college."

"There are colleges specifically for dancing or art, you know," Rory breaks in. Doula looks at her, still with a look of uncertainty on her face.

"And I did take some college classes, by the way."

Rory gasps and Doula stares at Jess.

"Don't be freaks about it," he warns, looking back and forth between the two, "or I won't tell you anything else."

They both fold their lips shut and nod.

"I took some classes at Temple in Philly, years ago. Mostly for my writer's block. I was trying to finish my second book and just hit a wall. I enjoyed them. Had no interest in finishing a degree or anything, but it was much better than middle school or high school classes."

"That's amazing!" Rory exclaims excitedly. He gives her a look and she tries to calm her smile.

"Sorry I just had a feeling college would be more your speed and I was right!"

He shakes his head but can't stop his small smile at her excitement.

Just then Luke pops out of the kitchen, "Hey guys, everyone else should be here soon. Jess, mind helping me with the several desserts that Lorelai insisted I make?"

He nods and turns to kiss Rory on the head before walking towards Luke.

"How'd you get her down from twenty to several?" Rory hears him ask as he reaches Luke, who rumbles in response, "I promised to watch some reality show crap later."

Jess's cackle like laugh in response makes her grin.

Once they're out of sight, she feels a tap on her arm.

"I have an important question for you," Doula states looking seriously at her. She frets with her sleeves, nervous that she's about to be asked a puberty question, as Doula had started confiding in her with that sort of thing after she turned twelve.

"What is it?"

"Why in the world would you agree to be a pilgrim? The costume is so scratchy!"

Rory breaks into a laughing smile.

"It's for a good cause!"

"There's no cause worthy of wearing that costume, especially not a can drive. Why can't I be a turkey or something?"

Rory chuckles and then has an idea, "do you have the costume?"

"It's at home. Hidden away in my closet where I don't have to look at it."

"Well, I think we should give it to Aunt Lorelai to…make some adjustments."

Doula looks confused for a moment, but then breaks into a smirk that makes her look like a carbon copy of Jess. It strikes Rory, as images of what their kids will look like one day invade her thoughts.

"Yes, now that you mention it, I think it does need some adjustments."

Rory shakes herself from her thoughts and nods, "great. We'll tell her when she gets here and I have no doubt it will be ready by tomorrow afternoon."

"You're the best!" she jumps forward and hugs Rory, "Way better than Jess who made fun of me."

Rory pats her on the back, "I think that's his job as an older brother. Not totally sure since I've never had one."

"Lucky you!" Doula rolls her eyes as she pulls away.

Rory smiles briefly at the sibling antics, then says, "stop. You're lucky to have Jess in your life. He loves you and really looks out for you, you know. Him being a nuisance is just his way of distracting from his kindness, he's always been like that. Sweet but not wanting any credit for it."

"I know," Doula nods and wraps her arms around herself, "I know that he's a big reason for my family being normal, well normalish, again. I remember how weird things were before he moved here that one year, and how he was always there for me. It was really nice."

Rory pats her on the arm, "you deserved that kind of care. He stepped in as soon as he realized you weren't getting it and stayed until things changed. Your parents were going through a hard time. He wanted to be there for you."

"I guess he's pretty great," Doula grins softly with a playful eyeroll, then more thoughtfully says, "and he never like, holds it over our heads. When he's nice like that and does hard things for us. He never makes me feel bad about it. Like he's happy to do it. You know?"

Rory looks up as the kitchen door swings open, revealing Jess with a pie in one hand and a cake in the other, he catches her eye and gives her a wink that makes her blush.

"Yes. I know exactly what you mean."

….

"Would you believe that I finally got printed copies of our wedding pictures?" Lorelai muses at dinner later, pulling an envelope out of her large purse. They all sit around a few tables pushed together in the middle of the diner.

"Lorelai, people are going to get food all over them. Save them for later," Luke grunts, attempting to take the envelope from her. She holds it close to her chest and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry Luke, but I can't wait another moment! I want to show everyone our big day."

"They were all there!"

"Yes, but it's been three years! They may have forgotten what it looked like."

"It looked like the Mad Hatter threw up all over the town square. I don't think anyone could forget," Jess mumbles, before taking a bite of mashed potatoes. Rory knocks her knee into his under the table, "Kirk did an amazing job!"

"Yeah!" Lorelai exclaims, "there are some beautiful pictures of you and Rory in here too, don't you want to see them?"

Jess's smirk softens, "me and Rory?"

"Uh, yes. You two chatting it up, you two dancing together, you two devouring the dessert table. These may as well be pictures of your wedding with how many there are of you guys," Lorelai mumbles, fingering through the photos in the envelope. Rory and Jess turn to each other, sharing a look of love.

"Aw, that's sweet! The photographer must have felt the energy between you two," Liz speculates with a fond smile, "I know I did. At the wedding, at Thanksgiving. Your connection is so strong, there's like this bright, warm aura when you're together, you know?"

"No, I don't know. I don't think that's real," Jess replies with a huff.

"Thank you for saying that, that's sweet," Rory adds, knocking her knee into Jess's again.

"I didn't see you guys dance! I want to see," Doula exclaims, holding her hand out to Lorelai.

"Jeez, does anyone want to see pictures of me and Luke?" she complains, handing a handful of photos to Doula.

"I do, Mom. It has been three years, what color was your dress again?"

Lorelai turns and smiles at her daughter, "thank you, honey. There are some gorgeous ones of us too," she enthuses, and starts flipping through the pictures to show her.

"No surprise there," Luke mumbles, earning him pleased grins from both Gilmore girls.

"I love this one," Lorelai croons sentimentally, leaning close to Rory to show her the image. Her daughter smiles warmly at the shot: the two of them holding hands and looking at each other with watery, excited smiles right before the official wedding ceremony started. She remembers exclaiming to her mom, you're getting married! again! Lorelai responded with a thrilled giggle, I know! Two ceremonies for our love in twenty four hours. And I got to have you here for both. God, this feels right. So right. All of it. That's when both their eyes started to water, as Rory understood Lorelai's unspoken thoughts: the last person she married, and the way she did it, was decidedly not right. And it also mirrored Lorelai's advice from that morning, about relationships as they spoke in the gazebo before Rory told her about the pregnancy: "it has to feel right". Rory whispered in response, probably right before this picture was taken, it is. It's right, mom.

In the present moment, Rory swallows as emotions catch her by surprise. Her head leans on Lorelai's shoulder, but her eyes shoot to Jess as Lorelai's words repeat in her head this feels right. He catches the look in her eyes and places a hand on her leg, squeezing it lovingly.

"I'm just…so happy you were part of that day, Rory. Sometimes I still think it's crazy that I had you at sixteen, but then a moment like this, me marrying Luke…I can't imagine what that wedding would have looked like without you. Even what our love story would have looked like without you," Lorelai says quietly to her, as most of the table talks amongst themselves around them. Except for Jess, who catches the sweet words exchanged between them and smiles to himself. Rory pulls her head from Lorelai's shoulder to smile warmly at her, "me neither. I'm so lucky to have been able to witness your love for all these years. It happened the way it was supposed to, Mom. It was right…all of it."

Lorelai takes a deep, calming breath through her nose as she grins back at her daughter, she reaches out and squeezes her hand.

"Can I see the pictures of you and Rory?" Liz's voice breaks their bubble, and Lorelai hands them over happily.

At the same time, Doula hands pictures to Jess and asks nosily, "these are cute. Are you guys going to get married?"

Jess huffs and takes the pictures, "that's none of your business."

Doula makes a face and turns to Rory, asking her with a look.

"Sorry, I'm actually taking Jess's side with this one. It's…a private thing, Doula."

Jess smiles and moves his chair closer to Rory, to show her the pictures of them. Her heart swoons at the candid shots of their clearly budding romance. They look to be in their own world in every photo, eyes locked in earnest interest on each other's faces; smiles smitten and warm.

"I want copies of these," Rory says so quietly she's not sure anyone heard her, but then Lorelai places an envelope in her lap and whispers in her ear, "already done." She smiles but doesn't take her eyes away from the photographs.

"You're beautiful," Jess says softly, eyes skimming over her in her silky bridesmaid dress, "I remember thinking that all night too. My eyes constantly sought you out."

She blushes and admits, "I felt that way about you too. I…kept fantasizing about kissing you every time I looked at you."

She catches his satisfied smirk out of the corner of her eye, and he turns to a picture of them dancing. It's a full body photo that shows them in the corner of the dance floor, close together and mid conversation. She can't help it as her eyes glide over her body, looking for a sign of the secret that she held.

"I'm sure some of that was the…hormones," she mumbles to him, and he turns to look at her. Her face is a mixture of nostalgia and forlornness, a weak smile on her lips. She looks at him then, and his presence alone allows her features to relax.

"It's hard to imagine I was…you know…in these pictures."

He nods and holds her hand under the table. He runs his thumb soothingly over her knuckles before speaking again.

"It's weird. Looking at pictures of the past that don't capture the whole story," Jess murmurs gently, moving his head closer to hers so no one else hears. She looks into his eyes, full of empathy and support for her, and nods slowly.

"It's…eerie. In a way," she confesses in a whisper. His mouth twitches downward at her words, but he turns it into a muted smile as he leans over and places a chaste kiss on her shoulder. As he pulls away, he mouths 'I love you', and just like that she's warm all over again.

"You know, TJ we should have a vow renewal in the Spring. For our fifteen year anniversary. Don't you think, honey?" Liz speaking loudly across the tables has Jess and Rory turning back in their chairs, back to the present. TJ shrugs from his place at the end of the table.

"Sure, why not? As long as Luke or Lorelai don't mind loaning us some space and some food for the event. We still don't have the big bucks, Lizzy."

Liz immediately looks at the couple across from her with an awaiting smile. Luke huffs an exasperated breath and with a stern finger at his sister he says, "No turkey legs this time. That machine was a pain in the ass."

She claps enthusiastically.

"Thank you, brother!"

"Why don't you do it in the square again? It's the best place for special events, let me tell ya," Lorelai insists with a big smile, trying to divert from using her Inn to host the crazy Ren community, "and you can ride in on one of the Inn's horses. I would gladly loan you that."

Liz gasps and puts a hand to her chest, "that sounds amazing! And Doula can ride with me too. What do you think?" she asks her daughter. Doula smiles wide and nods.

"That will be so fun!"

"Oh, this is going to be so great," Liz enthuses, placing a hand on TJ's.

"Can Jess ride on a horse too?" Doula asks, maleficent smirk plastered on her face. He glares harshly at her from across the table.

"No. He can't."

Lorelai giggles, "you can if you want, Jess! We do have two horses."

"I don't know how to ride one, and I don't want to learn."

"Jess, son, you would look so handsome riding horseback! I bet Rory would love to see that."

He turns to Rory, irritation all over his face, sending her a silent SOS. She nods shortly, then turns to Doula and Liz.

"I personally think it should just be the two of you. I mean, Jess was a part of the actual wedding right? So this should be Doula's time to shine by your side. It can be a mother and daughter thing, like me and my mom at her wedding."

She can feel the tension leave Jess's body next to her. Liz grins softly and nods.

"You're right. It was so special having Jess be part of our big day, it would have been even more special to have Doula there too."

"She wasn't born yet," Luke states, as if Liz forgot. She laughs at that.

"I know that! I'm just saying. If I had known I would have another child, maybe I would have waited so she could be part of the wedding too," she shrugs, then smiles at Doula, "but we will make up for it, sweetie. We can get our hair done, make flower crowns, get new renaissance dresses - all kinds of fun!"

"I can't wait! I want to wear my hair in braids, and I need my dress to match my flower crown," Doula states excitedly, bouncing around in her seat.

As the table erupts in conversation about the event around her, Rory gets lost in her mind with a thoughtful look on her face. The pictures from her mom's wedding, Lorelai's words, Liz's words - they tug at her, puzzling together pieces of the future that were hazy to her just that morning. She places her silverware down and picks up the pictures of her and Jess again. He sits next to her still, teasing Doula about something. Rory goes through them until she finds the picture of them on the dance floor. She stares at it, eyes once again roaming to the lack of evidence of the pregnancy she was going through at the time, the space between her and Jess's bodies. Running a finger over it, she thinks about what the future was supposed to be, as of those three years ago. It most likely would have meant a different career, or at least a different type of job within her field. It would have meant considering space for the baby when Jess decided to find them a place to live together. It would have meant having a four month old baby that October when they threw her a surprise thirty-third birthday party. And a one-year-old when the second Truncheon opened, and surely a different story about her as a mother written by Jess. It would have meant being their own little family this whole time, and that they most certainly wouldn't have been able to take that road trip to celebrate their second anniversary. Maybe they would have asked Lorelai to babysit for a few days and traveled closer or stayed home to celebrate from their bed. Or maybe they would have wanted to celebrate as a family.

It would have meant having a toddler sitting at the table with them right now, between her and Jess. Most likely making a mess and being fawned over by everyone at the table (or running around the room while Jess follows and keeps a watchful eye, she's sure).

It also would have meant a child being part of their wedding.

She takes a sharp inhale of breath as that hits her. That's what has been missing from her vision of them at the altar. Like a ghost blending into the surroundings, she felt a presence in her imagination but could not name it until now. Their child, or children, will come first. She can't imagine a wedding without that product of her and Jess's love, without their whole family being part of it. Though they have no names, faces or even a set date of existence - they will be part of that day, because they belong in the picture.

Images now flood her mind - getting ready with her child by her side like Lorelai did. A flower girl or boy decorating the aisle ahead of her. Jess in a beautifully fitted suit, holding a child in his arms while they take pictures as a family. Dancing and celebrating all of their love together at the wedding reception. Eating dinner and cake together, Jess no doubt making sure they eat enough before returning to the dance floor. A child passed out in his strong arms before the end of the night, while he happily watches Rory dance with her mom and friends from across the room. Giving hugs and kisses goodnight as Luke and Lorelai take them for a sleepover. Then her and Jess running giddily to spend their first night married together, alone in some beautiful suite somewhere.

She feels a hand on her shoulder, and turns as Jess asks quietly, "are you okay?"

Her mouth trembles slightly, out of an inability to express exactly what she's feeling.

"Yes, I'm okay," she nods. Then feeling an overwhelming desire to share her dreams of the future with him, she leans over conspiratorially and asks, "but do you think you can use some of your old hoodlum skills to make this dinner end soon?"

His eyebrow raises along with the side of his mouth, and in this setting, it's like they've really gone back in time for a moment. She's suddenly that teenager again that found his boyish deviousness far too alluring. And he's that same guy that will do anything to entertain or excite her, especially when it means causing mischief. She's reminded in this moment that she's been enamored with all parts of him since the beginning, and it's beautiful to see those parts still in him now. It causes a rush of love through her that puts a gleeful smile on her face as she thinks about the images of their future she's conjured up.

With a youthful glint in his eye he replies, "With pleasure."