The shuttle ride had been tense. No one talked, the whole way back.

Shepard sat on the floor, soaked and weary, catching his breath when moments before he'd been unconscious, not breathing, having been jolted back to the world as they sped away from the sinking ship.

He was pale, his eyes sunken and set with anger, frustration and hurt. Sometimes. Sometimes he wished they'd all just let him go. Let him leave this world, finally. They'd all be better off.

Her eyes bore into his, furious, devastated, anguished. She'd been the one to tear off his breastplate so Kaidan could place the pads on his chest, so they could defibrillate his heart. Again.

She was tired of this. Tired of seeing him like this, of having to watch him throw himself into the fray without a second thought for her, or anyone.

When the shuttle docked with Normandy, Kaidan and Cortez hurried out without a word said. He stood slowly, his eyes locked with hers in silent duel, and lumbered towards the exit.

Her arm shot across the open space and he hovered close to her.

"Liara." His voice was stern, issuing a warning. His eyes drifted to the safety of the cargo lift.

"We need to talk."

"It can wait. I need to see doc –"

She slammed the door control with a clenched fist, and it hissed shut behind her.

"You can wait."

He glanced up at her eyes, still set with resentment, sighing heavily as he fell back on the thin leather seat of the shuttle area.

She held his gaze, watched his jaw clench and unclench as he swallowed words that no doubt were bubbling in his throat. After a long while, he started to shake his head impatiently and huffed, his annoyance now taking point in this battle.

"So talk." He said slowly, offering his hands in mock sincerity. Her face contorted like he'd cut her deep.

"Do you want to die?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Do you want to die?"

"No, Liara. I don't want to die." He shook his head again, like he didn't understand why she'd ask such a stupid question.

"Then why. Why do you insist on putting yourself in the heart of it."

"I'm not doing this right now," he said holding his hand out to stop her from rushing towards him.

"Of course." She huffed, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her soaked under armour.

He stopped before his balled fist could hit the door release and turned towards her again, his will to fight renewed by the bitterness in her voice.

"Christ, Liara. I'm tired. I'm sore; you just electro shocked my fucking heart half an hour ago. I don't want to do this right now!" His voice was rising and neither of them thought about the lack of soundproofing the shuttle's thin metal walls provided.

"I can't do this anymore!" She shouted, the words spilling forth before she had a chance to stop them. And tears soon followed. The words sucked the oxygen out of him and he took a step back, like a sledgehammer had struck him in the chest. He started to panic.

"I can't do this anymore." She said again, her voice now a whisper.

"What are you saying?" He croaked, bracing himself against the shuttle door.

"Tuchanka. Rannoch. And now this. I can't keep watching you try to throw your life away." She began wiping tears away, sniffling the hurt feelings to be replaced by more fury. Anger was easier than sadness. He'd taught her that.

"I'm not – "

"Every time!" She shouted. "Every time it has to be you."

"Who else is going to do it!" He yelled, matching the intensity of her voice. They'd never shouted at each other like this, and it felt cathartic. Felt right. Felt like a weight was being lifted off her shoulders.

"Anyone!" She countered. And he waved a hand dismissively at her, pacing the few steps he could around the shuttle.

"What?" She said scornfully. "You don't believe anyone else can do what you do? Garrus, Kaidan, Tali, Edi, James, me."

"No," she could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"Why," but she wouldn't relent.

He came within an inch of her, "It's my mission!" he barked, droplets of water dripping down his face as he spat his rebuttal. "My risk!"

"You need to understand –"

"I do understan –"

"You don't!" She cried, her voice rising to the loudest he'd ever heard it outside of the battlefield. "You don't get it! You are the only one that matters. The only one that needs to survive!"

"Don't say that." He choked.

Her eyes were bleary again, matching his own. They'd come to the center of it, the place they needed to arrive.

"Everything, everything depends on you. You're the key. If you die…" she swallowed hard and her eyes turned to the floor, unable to meet his now that the air of anger had dissipated. "If you die before this ends, there's no hope. If you throw your life away on a gamble…" Her voice broke, and she swallowed thickly. "I love you," she whispered, fisting her hands against his stomach. "You can't leave. You swore you wouldn't."

He thumped again on the shuttle seats, his legs too tired to hold him upright, his head in his hands as he tried to steady himself against the wave of emotions that was surely crashing against his shores. He was so tired, so beaten.

"Liara, I can't do this without you." His voice was barely a whisper and it broke her heart. She dropped to her knees in front of him, and peeled his hands away from his face, meeting his red teary eyes with her own.

"You're not doing this without me." She reassured. "I'm right there beside you. I'm always right there beside you."

"I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

She knew, had always known, that she was sometimes responsible for holding him together while he held everything else. She wondered if the others truly understood how broken he was becoming, how many cracks had formed.

"I don't want you to think that you're not capable." He breathed deeply and held her hands tight as she shifted her weight on the uncomfortable metal floor. "You're the strongest person I know. You're so brave, you're a hero, even if no one knows it."

She rose off her knees and held him tight against her, threading her hands through his wet hair.

"Shepard..it's okay."

He clutched at her and pulled her closer, "I can't do this without you." He said again, muffled into her shoulder. "Please don't go."

She closed her eyes and chastised herself for pushing him too hard, her words from earlier clearly held at the forefront of his mind.

"I'm not going anywhere." She soothed. "We'll stay right here, as long as it takes."

He finally released her and she sat beside him, rubbing the back of his neck as he wiped his eyes and brushed his hands through his hair.

"I do understand, Liara. I get it. I just don't know any other way. I don't know how not to be at the front of the line, leading the charge. It's who I am."

"I know." She sighed. "And I want to be there with you. Because I can't bear the thought of you leaving this world without me." She'd finally admitted it to him, to herself. The thing she'd been holding back since he showed up on Mars.

"Please don't say that."

"I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. I sometimes forget. Forget that I'm not the only one who has something to lose."

She placed a hand on his cheek and turned him to face her. "You'll never lose me."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Say it again."

This time she held his face firmly in both her hands. "I promise you. I'm not leaving."

With a deep breath, he steadied himself, relaxed his shoulders, released the pressure that had been building up inside him and leaned his forehead against hers, like they'd done a hundred times before, saying a silent thank you she didn't need to hear.

"Can we stay here, a while longer." He mumbled despairingly.

"As long as we need to."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"I'm sorry too."

"Felt kinda good, though, right?" His humour had returned. Good. Thank the Goddess for that.

"Yeah, it did." She smirked.

"Let's agree to fight somewhere soundproof next time, ok?"

"Alright."

"We're ok?" He asked, his voice a little vulnerable.

She grabbed his hand and held it tight, "Always. We're always ok."