Hermione sniffled, her hand draped over Ron's warm, thin and herbal and sweat smelling body. She was all cozy and tucked in like a girl on Christmas morning with her large teddy bear in her bed.

Only Ron didn't smell herbal.

Snaking her way out, she was met with a head of messy, greasy black hair. She turned, blood draining from her face when the photo frame on the bedside table showed her holding hands with none other than,

"Severus Snape?"

Oh no. No, no, no.

An unfamiliar object pinched her finger. Hermione's hand grasped at the wedding band, tugging it off, but it seemed to etch deeper into her skin the more she pulled. Angry tears fighting in the corners of her eyes, she bit her lip to keep from waking the man beside her-hairy underarm flashed open to the world and a large snore emitting from his drooling mouth.

The more she looked about the room, the more the nightmare realized itself in the threads of sunlight. Here were their robes draped over a chair: black house robes and Auror ones. Here were her hair products on the vanity. Here were their 'his and hers' slippers on a little beside rug. There were all sorts of potions on the bedside table: 'Sleeping Draught' and 'Morning Breath- Be Gone' and one she could not read without shrieking because she was fairly certain it was used as a lubricant (and not the kind for one's carriage wheels).

Snape mumbled tossing back the covers, then seeing her, slowly pulled them back over his body. "Granger."

Fuck. "Snape!"

"Well, well, well…"

"Cauldron!" Hermione toppled out of bed, to her horror realizing she had nothing on her, pulled the closest available clothing item around her body - not caring that they were his robes. "We did not spend the night together."

"Evidently we had."

"It never happened. I would never!" Hermione screeched, hiding behind the chair and fumbling her own robes about her. "It must have been that Love Spell in the Vault. Do you think it could make people have sexual … relations?" Trailing her finger below the naval, she blanched. "It could," she hissed.

Snape held his hand out to the light, letting out an accepting sigh. "It should be a comforting thought that they happened in the safe sacrament of matrimony."

"I cannot be married to you."

"Certainly not," Snape said. "The very last person I could be prevailed upon to bind myself to would be a witch who does not serve me tea before racking my brains out. It is practically a crime."

"A crime is to sleep without one's clothing on," Hermione scowled.

"Of which you are equally guilty."

Wet between the wheels, Hermione's thighs stuck together. It had then occurred to her that the effects of the Love Spell had in fact made them intimate with one another-worse, that Snape did not remember there being any spell at all. This was his reality. She had used a Time Turner before and was well aware that others people left in reality did not know she was disappearing and reappearing and shifting through their life. And either Snape had a bloody brilliant poker face or he was indeed unaware of any other dimension beyond his own - both alternatives made her dizzy.

Bile stood in her throat. She could not have been with him in that way. There must have been some logical explanation for all this. Surely her former professor could not possible have ever contemplated being with her in such a way. He could not feel attracted to her.

But maybe it could have been. Maybe all that time they had spoken at St Mungo's, an attraction had arisen in his imagination. Or perhaps earlier…oh Cauldron, no! In this universe, he had seduced her, he had claimed her to be his own. He had taken her away from Ron, and forced her to be with him. Through threat? Through coercion? Or because he faked a persona and made her fall in love with him for real. A persona that loved fuzzy black and green 'his and her' slippers and lubricant -

Her head suddenly pierced with pain, and she groaned.

"You are a gritty, cruel, selfish…arsehole," she snapped, Occluding him from her mind.

Snape rose from the bed, a blanket still around his torso, and came to her. His eyes a more venomous shade of black than ever, and his skin pale and sallow, as he pressed his nose into her space.

"How dare you speak to me in such a tone," he growled. "You insolent girl."

Brushing past her, he grabbed his robes off the back of the chair. "Turn around."

Hermione did as she was told, shaking while a mysterious, stomach-tightening knot began to form in her core. Cloth rustled behind her as she heard the blanket drop to the floor. She unwillingly imagined what he looked like beneath the fabric, then quickly Occluded her mind from him, holding the shield up as she heard him dressing himself.

"I would not succumb myself to seducing you, Granger. Being in your presence these past twenty seconds taught me that you are insufferable and loud. Had I spent more than a monthly visit with you in St. Mungo's I would have gorged my own ears out. Six years behind a potions desk was torture enough-"

She heard the last of his buttons pulled through the loopholes. "Face me now."

"I can't." Hermione crossed her arms.

"Can't or won't."

"Both."

"Stubborn, are we? Well, well, well." Footsteps backed away to the bed. "Such a position you are in, so vulnerable. If you insist staying there..." She heard a glass vial shifting from its position on the bedside table. "Shall we try out the Lubrication Potion, my dearest wife?"

"No!" Hermione howled, whipping her head around. He laughed wickedly, the scoundrel, and set the potion back in it's spot. "Get out! I'm getting dressed and then we are going to Hogwarts."

"As you wish," he said and left the room, shutting the door.

Infuriated and embarrassed, Hermione pulled on her robes and it took her all the strength she had to open their joined chest of drawers to take out fresh undergarments. A thin trickle of white dripped down her thigh as she dressed herself. No, she certainly could not have a kink for being teased by that bastard.

"And I need a bath!" she yelled as she locked the door with a spell.

Cleaning herself with a quick spell, she ran to the bathroom and filled the tub. She needed to get to Hogwarts and access the Restricted Section to read up on this Love Spell. Surely there had to be a way to reverse the curse. But before that, she needed to call someone who could help.

Thankfully, Snape had a fireplace in their-his bedroom. Throwing in a handful of green Floo powder, she mouthed Ron, please pick up, please.

But after the third attempt proved futile, she Floo'd Harry. He must have been at work because the Floo sparked for an endless time before cutting out. She didn't have much powder left, in fact enough for only one call. She couldn't blame the boys. She had married their least favorite Hogwarts professor and now they had surely cut all ties. So she decided to Floo the one person she knew would be more than happy to gloat at her misfortune.

And she was correct because Lavender Brown's large eyes stared back at her through the green flame.

"Heeeeyyy! Hermione!" she drew out in her sing-song voice. "Long time no talk! How have you been girlie."

Hermione plastered on the biggest smile she could. "Well you know, getting busy with my husband."

"Oh I'm sure you are! I've read that article in Witch Weekly, you look great, have you lost weight?"

"Thanks. You know, it's a new diet," Hermione pattered. "I was actually hoping you had some old articles from our engagement. I was hoping to use them for a scrapbook for Severus for our anniversary, but they got lost before our honeymoon."

"Lake Como. Sigh. I know. How romantic!" Lavender flapped her lashes. "I will see what I can find-"

"- I was hoping to have them now, you know…I could even maybe see if I could Summon them out of one of my many suitcases. Which was your favorite?"

"-well definitely the one of your engagement party."

"-which was…where again?"

"Oh, in the Great Hall, you know where it all went down."

"-the Christmas Party?"

"-later. You know, after you left Ron hanging there with a fake yes. Of course, we were all surprised you chose to celebrate your love in the same place where you broke his heart, but…you know…none of my business," Lavender continued sweetly.

"-I think I got them. Thanks. Bye." Hermione exhaled as the flames went out over Lavender's 'ciao!'. As if she still verbally said sigh, the melodramatic witch.

But the conversation certainly provided clarity. So they did get engaged in the Great Hall and she had accepted Ron's proposal…at least at first, but something had obviously made her change her mind and marry Snape instead. This meant the spell didn't reset the timeline to the day of her and Snape's visit to the Vaults. It had reset it to the day of her and Ron's engagement….at the least. Perhaps just seeing the Spell in the Vault had somehow made her carry a trace of its magic to the Yule ball and then, when she and Snape snuck back down to the Vaults, them both touching it had somehow activated it.

This was interesting.

-x-x-x-

About to Floo his companion Lucius Malfoy, Severus found the Floo Network in his home already in use. Not unlike the stereotypical witch to monopolize all communication networks in the nearby vicinity for mindless chatter. When disconnected Floo networks should become the norm, Severus vowed to become their first customer.

To make himself useful, Severus paced the first floor of his home, which in this reality had become rather refined and distinguished: matching wooden library shelves for his enormous collection of books, deep-red Persian carpets around quilted couches with owl-shaped throw pillow and an obese, orange Kneazle draped over the edge of his favorite armchair.

His hands barely lifted to toss the furry beast onto the ground and plop into the arm chair himself; he was unwilling to suffer an attack from yet another unpaid tenant under his roof. He was gutted. Surely Granger had not seriously contemplated the ways in which he, a well-manner and distinguished gentleman, had thrown her into his four-poster bed and divorced her from her beloved Weasley with the power of his manhood. Surely not.

He - the paragon of masculinity: intelligent, even of temperament and restrained in his vexation. That he was still a bachelor was simply a matter of circumstance. He was far too occupied for matrimony.

Besides, any witch who wanted to be his life partner would have to possess a fair number of amicable characteristics. She would have to be quiet and simple and stay at home while he was targeting his various intellectual pursuits, waiting for him to return and astonish her with his brilliant discoveries.

Instead, he was cursed with Granger.

The Gods showed Sisyphus no mercy.

Granger ran the bath - a trick, of course, intended to give her some time to talk to all her little friends about 'what she was going to do' and 'how' and 'when' and 'what preliminary readings she has done prior to commencing'. It was so like her to waste her time relaying her ideas to Potter and Weasley instead of acting on her own accord. How many dunces did it take to screw in a lightbulb?

When he could no longer take it, Severus contemplated storming up the stairs and dragging her out of the room himself, and suddenly a commotion on the street caught his attention.

Peaking through the curtains, then flinging open the door, snow falling on his feet, Severus was met face to face with a boy a quarter of his age setting down a Levitating box, smiling big and wide with all seven teeth showing and crying, "Reckon 'I should put this by the back door?"

"Go peddle your wares elsewhere. We're not interested," Severus said, ushering him away.

"But sir, this is a delivery."

Severus gritted his teeth. "Boy. Do I look like I run shop here?"

To this, the boy held out a parchment roll with Severus' signature beside an order of: "20,000 pairs of wool socks, Cauldron damnnit" dated for delivery for the 20th of December the next year. Severus grabbed the front of his hair, sweat dripping towards his brows.

"We're in the future."

"Yes, we are Mr. Snape, sire. Now what of the socks-"

"Just leave them there." Severus muttered, signing off the delivery and breathing heavily.

One year. They had transported forwards one full calendar year.

In the span of the Earth moving around the sun, Severus had finally found the funds and time to remodel Spinner's End, gotten married, and amassed a large quantity of socks.

The boy was just about to leave when Severus grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "Tell me your name."

"M-Mr. Freddie D-Diddle sir."

"Freddie Diddle." Severus looked him dead in the eye. "Am I revered in your time?"

"Yes, I'd say so."

Excellent. "Am I famous?"

"Wildly sir."

Excellent. "Does my name still send shivers down the spines of my enemies?"

"Sir, please let me go-"

Excellent. "Very well. Run along." And he did.

Severus looked at the sky, the snow falling on his face. Life was perfect for him in this strange and unknown alternate future. He was rich. He was famous. He had a reputation that preceded him. He could afford luxurious quantities of socks for no apparent reason. He had a beautiful home and hot running water.

This was the light side of the Veil, if not for one loud, misunderstanding in the doorway.

"I'm ready to go," Granger announced, then stopped dead in her tracks, eyeing the packages. "Socks? Have I decided to renew S.P.E.W. again? And why are you grinning-"

"Silence. I am trying to relish the final few moments of bliss I have obtained prior to your arrival."

Granger stomped her Auror boots. "Finished?"

"Evidently. To Hogwarts."

"To Hogwarts."

-x-x-x-

The very first person Severus made a beeline for the moment their feet fell on holy ground was his godson. Charismatic, attractive, but unfortunately not brave enough to pursue a career in politics, Draco Malfoy had chosen the unfortunate toil of a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Draco had spent his scholarly years sending doodles to Potter and taken full advantage of his ancestral wealth to amass expensive Quidditch equipment to buy friendship. Why a Malfoy should want to go into academia of all fields, was beyond Severus' comprehension, only that he was certainly glad he did because at this very moment, he needed his help.

"Godfather, haven't seen you since your honeymoon," Draco cried, the moment he entered the Great Hall and threw himself into an enthusiastic handshake.

"Not here Draco-"

"Why, is your wife the jealous type? Kidding. Come along Mrs Snape." Draco said smiling.

"It's Miss Granger," Hermione huffed, brushing past them and walking up to the library.

"So it's like that." Draco gave Snape the knowing side-eye. "Well I'll say that you just won me 200 galleons. Minerva bet me you two wouldn't last six months."

They followed Hermione up the moving staircase, down the corridor, when Snape lurched and pulled Draco into the boys' lavatory shut the door. "Tell me what happened."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Don't play games with me Draco. Your father didn't Floo me back, and I know for a fact that you know every one of his gossips."

"It's not gossip if everyone knows." Draco scanned his expression. "Oh, I see. Was it a Time-Turner?"

"Worse. But more on that later. How did I manage to bind myself to Granger?"

"It's a secret."

"Draco."

"Really! Nobody knows. Last Christmas at the Yule Ball, Ron got down one one knee and popped the big question. Of course, Hermione said yes. Then, not even a week later, Rita Skeeter posted about your engagement."

"That witch-"

"She instantly became viral, of course. Earned back her job at the Prophet and all. People couldn't get enough of the articles. Severus Snape, Potions Master, ex-spy, morally grey bad boy of the year- and the brainy know-it-all Auror who was a war heroine."

"Bad boy."

"That infamous photoshoot for Wixxxen. The number of copies of that issue I've confiscated from the Slytherin dorms is disturbing. Boys and girls, mind you."

Severus made a mental note to burn every copy of that damned magazine if he ever laid hands on it, though not before seeing the photographs first.

"Everyone was publishing about you two. Witch Weekly. The Quibbler. Accio! Wizard's GQ. Everyone wanted to know how you did it."

"And how did I do it?"

Draco grinned. "Astoria thinks it's because you've secretly been Tom Riddle's sole beneficiary, but I personally enjoy the 'high-flying ten inch broomstick' theory."

Severus scowled.

"So how did you do it?"

"I wouldn't tell you for 200 galleons."

Draco pouted. "Don't be cheap. You've lost the Noble house of Malfoy nearly 10,000."

"Did Lucius lose his mind?"

"No but Mother did. Who knew you'd actually marry? I mean you've spoken tons about it, but never made a move."

"That was the Ogden's talking."

"And likely the Ogden's walking," Draco said. "You and Granger? Who would have guessed?"

"Not your father's pocketbook."

Draco laughed. "Granger must be out of her mind up there. Astoria's changed all the passwords to the Restricted Section."

Severus forced a wicked smile. "Let's not keep my dear wife waiting, shall we?"

-xxx-

Hermione mentally prepared herself for a stone faced, quick interaction with Ms. Pince. To her surprise, a brown-eyed young witch peaked up at her from behind the pages of Muggle History of the 21st century and smiled widely.

"Mrs Snape! Pleasure! I was hoping to one day meet you."

Hermione stiffened. "I'm sorry, are you…Ms Pince's intern?"

"New librarian." Flashing Hermione her sparkly badge, she closed the book and came around the desk to tell her about what an honor it was to have a potential office candidate before her and how excited she was to hear all about Hermione's various social justice projects.

Why didn't Hogwarts have a pretty, young, even-tempered librarian when she was younger?

Astoria Greengrass, that was her name, was suspiciously kind (disregarding her elitist background). Perhaps Draco wasn't the only one who grew tired of the waxed-hair and serpent stick act the Purebloods put on.

"You wanted?"

"Uh," Hermione blubbered. "Right. Restricted Section."

Astoria brows slanted sympathetically. "Sorry, that's only for selected personnel."

"But I'm an alumni."

"Headmaster Blackwood's orders. He doesn't allow anyone to break rules."

Sounded like a rightful stickler. Hermione's savior happened to be the boy she despised most during her student days. This very boy who was now draped over the desk and making eyes at the new librarian.

"But surely, you are better than that Astoria-"

"Like I said, not even professors-"

"-these are my friends-"

"-friends too-"

"-come, come. You look so adorable when you're so strict. It's turning me on." He whispered a few other things in her ear, a 'later tonight' and 'not like last time' in the mix, making her go bright-red.

"Mr. Malfoy!"

"Yes-ouch." Draco rubbed his cheek after Astoria swatted it, and then gestured for Snape and Hermione to follow suite.

What he had said had evidently worked his Malfoy charm because Astoria whispered the password and charmed open the lock of the Restricted Section. "But you better be quick!"

"Anything for you." Draco winked and the group entered. "We're in."

"Where were you two?" Hermione hissed. "Never mind. The faster we get this book, the faster we can be done."

A woman scorned makes the Devil fear, Draco whispered.

-x-x-x-

They searched the section quicker than roaches ingesting a crumb on desolate kitchen floor in the pitch black of the night. That the three of them did so at such speed was only testament to their frequent visits to the library.

But of course, Hermione was the champion and snatched up an old tome from the pile, flipped it open to the index, then back over again and cried, "I've got it! Love Spells Throughout History by Mortimer Fellini. Of course, how could I have been so stupid!" trailing her fingers down the sections she mumbled, "I've taken this book out before when—"

Snape came over to her right, glaring over her shoulder. "Surely not when you had been brewing Amortentia in the girl's lavatories?"

"Surely not," she snapped back, blushing angrily. "Here we are. The Ancient Love Spell is said to have originated from the story of Corvinus and Malva."

It took only a short search to procure that myth, hidden in a tome on Love Stories and Myths of Merlin's Times and before. Hermione could not help but notice that S. Snape's name had appeared most often on the library card nestled in the front cover of the book.

In a deep voice, Snape read the tale.

"'i those times, Corvinus the hunchback lived at the edge of the village of Revina. Hence ronyon and shriveled he was that not a single woman could lay an eye on him without fainting. Struck by grief, Corvinus tied a rope with a ballast-stone around his neck and went up the stream, hoping his end had been quick and painless. yet as he threaded the waters, he known the laugh of women and saw the young maidens: bare and bathing by the shore. Wherein they saw Corvinus, they took up their coverings and fled. Only one maiden remained. She was Malva, the seel daughter of the village pate. She was to be married to the of wax Atticus from a neighboring village and her sisters took her down to the river to bathe ere her wedding day. Yet jealous they were of her beauty, and left her alone by the river for Corvinus to hast, hoping their father would marry one of 'em to the of wax youth instead. Corvinus had yet one good trait- his voice was beautiful and low. He told her he was the one she would marry and that her sisters had taken her hither to meet her husband. That his shall was to live with him and him alone. He ravished and had taken her. so they lived together 'i the forest for a year: Malva and Corvinus. one day, her husband had left to gather wood 'i the forest. She known the birds bidding her from the trees. Stealing aroint from her cottage, she befell the edge of the village where her father found her and told her the tidings. Atticus was dead. And so he received she had been for the past year. struck by grief, Malva ran back to her cottage and tripped on a tree root, breaking her neck. Wherein Corvinus found her, he craved the gods for forgiveness. He repented for his lies and asked the gods to spare Malva's life 'i exchange for his own. he kissed her one last time and passed. She had dupp'd her eyes and risen from the ground, gazing down upon'r husband. So this story goes. Neither 'i a fairy tale may I say nor with a quill describe. "

"That's it?" Draco said, yawning. "If not for seeing Astoria, I'd say we wasted our time."

Hermione sighed. "Don't you get it? It's a code." Taking out the pen and leather-bound journal she always kept with her in her Auror robes, she began to jot down notes. "Corvinus must come from the word corvus which means raven. And what are ravens associated with?"

"Death, illness, poor omen," Snape concluded.

"And malva is a flower."

"Softness, forgiveness," Snape said slowly. "Love-"

"-or maybe you are Corvinus," Draco said pointing to Snape. "And you are Malva-" he pointed to Hermione.

"No I don't think you're considering this….if we take the first initial of every sentence…"

"Hermione you can be such a bore sometimes," Draco said. "It's plain as day. The curse was laid on you two because you represent the couple in the story and to break the curse, you kiss."

"Surely it can't be so straight forward."

"If there's anything I've learned from the Defensive Magic, it's that simplicity is sometimes the answer."

Snape considered the perspective, his fingers interlocking together. "You have a point."

"You can't be suggesting?"

"Why not."

-xxx-

If Severus knew anything about fairytales, and as an avid reader he did, it was that the use of the proverbial True Love's Kiss was often the curse-breaker the heroes needed to lift the Dark Magic. Surely in a world where a mother's love could defend a baby boy against a Death Spell, two pairs of labium coming together in a momentary frictional action to reverse accidental marriage and time travel was not so absurd.

Granger's face grew bright red, the way it had that morning when he snapped at her. Standing half naked, facing away from him, Severus admitted he had conjured up enough of an image to bring himself to kiss her. Then he would once again return them to a time where she wouldn't wake up in his bed, where he wouldn't have to see her but once a month at St Mungo's and where she could continue on her career as a respective Auror, not tied down to a man nearly thrice her age. She might even reconcile with Mr. Weasley. Then Wixxxen would feature his scantily clad image in his pages. He grinned imagining Minerva's face as she procured those issues from the Gryffindor dorms.

"Should we get on with it?" Granger asked, shuffling her feet.

Severus moved closer, breathing in the smell of her hair, feeling her breath on his chin.

"Turn around," he ordered Draco. There was no need to make a spectacle of this. Draco did as he was told, although Severus was sure he was watching with one eye.

She closed her eyes. He trailed his lips closer to hers, brushing them softly against her skin. It would be easy, kissing her like that. He could practically taste her inside him. Soon she would be gone, kissing other lips and he would forever forget ever having known what she was like.

But Severus liked living in a time when he was revered. He wanted to see what exactly he was revered for. He wanted to have influence, to be hated again…or loved…it didn't matter so much the intention. He was sick of having to take orders from the Medi-witches at St. Mungo's half his age. He wanted to be someone important once more.

So instead of kissing her, he leaned back.

A familiar sensation tickled his head. She had seen his hesitation too. But Granger being Granger, clawed her hands into the collar of his robes and pulled him into her, squeezing his lips into hers.

"Cauldron, Granger," Severus cried, spitting. He pushed her, peeled her off of him.

Her brows slanted, she hissed, "Why did you hesitate?"

"Because I don't want to go back!" he bellowed. Even Astoria had come down from her desk to see what the commotion was about.

Not only had the witch insulted his intentions, she was trying to force him back into a life of destitute.

"You were happy!" she continued. "You had a job, and a life…"

"I was not happy. I was tolerant. As were you. Why else had you refused Weasley?"

"Just because I didn't want to be with him, doesn't mean I want to be with anyone."

She said it in such a way, that Severus decided she was trying to convince herself she wanted a life of solitude. No witch wanted that, not really, and not Granger. She was just angry she did not get her way. Well Severus finally had his way. His life in this future was looking the way he'd always dreamed it would be: rich, calm, with a reputation that preceded him. Who needed to be an ex-prisoner doing community service when one could be a sort of celebrity?

But perhaps it would bore him. Besides, spending a lifetime with Granger would be a punishment by itself. And the divorce? He sighed deeply. The pursuit of happiness was just that.

"Very well," he whispered.

She had turned her head away by now, arms crossed. "I do not want it now," she mumbled, her voice a half-sob.

"You do."

"D-Don't do it as a favor to me."

Sighing, he ran his hands down her shoulders, his entire body tingling with a mix of revulsion and recollection. She stiffened under his touch. He figured the more he contemplated, the more one of them would change her mind. Jerking her around, he slid a hand through the back of her hair, grabbing a fistful, tilted his head and blew a sigh over her lips.

She gasped shakily as her lips parted for him. That's when he kissed her. Really kissed her.

He had her in the way Rhett took Scarlett, drowning out all her memories of past lovers as she moaned into his mouth. Like Siddhartha lured in Kamala. Like Tristan was with Isolde. The way the books had written about it, come to life. For if he was to break a curse, the kiss would have to be one worth writing about.

With every passing second as she melted into him, with every new wave of lips locking into lips, Severus was sure they were slipping back through the months. But when her lashes fluttered open a moment after his, he realized, they had not.

Or perhaps, he hadn't kissed her well enough.

"It didn't work," she said softly.

Severus sighed. "With love's first kiss, one would have to be…in love."

Biting her lip, she nodded her head. "Unfortunately."