A/N Thank you to everyone who read and commented on the last update! I'm still pretty new to all of this and worry about how the romantic or sexual stuff will come across, so it was great to hear that people enjoyed that!
This update is pretty dialogue heavy (thanks to Ross) - I hope it reads OK!
Happy heavenly birthday to the eternally gorgeous Matthew Perry this week. Forever missed. Xxx
I'm sure I'm not alone in having felt really saddened by some of the details that have emerged from his case over the last few days. Sending love to anybody who has found that hard.
"Come on" demanded Ross, his expression brooding as he contemplated the sudden stunned silence that hung thickly in the room, "What is it that you're struggling to tell me, Chandler?"
Monica stood tall as she looked into her brother's face with strength and purpose, deciding quickly that she should be the one to take control of this situation.
"I'm really sorry that you're finding out this way, Ross, I wanted you to be the first to know, but these guys kind of figured out that something was going on, so we had to tell them..." she paused to brace herself with a deep breath.
"Chandler and I are expecting a baby," she announced forthrightly, "It's due on February 5th. And we're both really excited about it."
All eyes in the room locked on Ross as they anxiously awaited his response, but it was quite some time before he reacted at all, his mahogany eyes betraying nothing but confusion.
And then he began to laugh.
His five friends exchanged worried glances as he spoke slowly, "This is some kind of joke, right?"
Monica shook her head and took a tentative step towards her brother, reaching out to take his hand gently in her own.
"No Ross, it's not a joke. You're going to be an uncle." She offered him a nervously optimistic smile, desperately hoping that he might find it within himself to share in her joy.
He looked into her eyes searchingly, but found no trace of the humor he was anticipating. He dropped her hand and dragged his fingertips across his face.
His eyelids fluttered closed briefly and Chandler was worried for a moment that he might actually pass out, but when they opened again his eyes were alert and forbidding.
"This has to be a joke, Monica. I mean, you two aren't even in a relationship. How can you possibly be having a baby?"
The hint of mania in her brother's voice caused Monica to gulp as she glanced anxiously towards Chandler, before telling Ross quietly "Actually, we are in a relationship now..."
"How long has this been going on?" his somewhat frenzied eyes moved from his sister to rest instead upon Chandler.
"Well, we first got together in London..." Monica began to explain.
Ross turned to stare at her with askance before a mirthless laugh escaped from his lips. His fingers rubbed slow circles against his temples as he allowed her words to soak in, his dark gaze returning to Chandler.
"So you're telling me, that while my marriage was falling apart; while I was running around London searching for my wife, who had just left me; you, Chandler, my "best man", thought that would be a good time to start having sex with my sister?"
Monica's benignly soft approach immediately evaporated, and she rolled her eyes in exasperation "I knew you'd be like this" she growled.
"It actually happened the night before your wedding. The night of the rehearsal dinner." Chandler clarified, his face betraying more than a little guilt that the only reason that he, Chandler, Ross's "best man" had not spent the entirety of that disastrous wedding day in bed with Monica was because every single attempt they had made to get their hands on each other had been tragically thwarted.
"Hold on. There's no way you two have been together since then!" Ross concluded with a frown, as he narrowed his eyes at Monica, "You started dating Dan after we got back from London!"
Monica sighed uncomfortably, annoyed to have been reminded of the Dan episode twice in quick succession, following Rachel's similar line of questioning earlier that morning.
"Chandler and I didn't get together right away", she explained "We were worried what it might do to our friendship, so we tried to forget what had happened between us and move on".
Ross rounded on Chandler "So let me get this straight. You slept with my sister the night before my wedding; you decided you didn't want a relationship with her; she found herself a decent enough boyfriend; so at that point you decided to sleep with her again; you knocked her up; and now you're in a "relationship"?"
"That's not what happened!" Monica refuted.
"No!" Chandler joined her in forceful objection, "I knocked her up in London! I mean.. I didn't "knock her up"...well, I did... but... " his panicked eyes shot desperately towards Monica, whose mouth had fallen open in utter disbelief at the complete ineptitude of his response.
Chandler took a calming breath and attempted to rectify his statement. "What I mean is, our baby was conceived in London. And we didn't get together right away, but more recently we figured out that was what we both wanted."
"So you found out you got her pregnant and now you're "together" because of the baby?" Ross proposed.
"No!" shouted Monica, her wide eyes seeking out Chandler's frantically, "That's not why we're together..."
Initially, she was not entirely sure why she found this assertion quite so distressing, and was unable to quite discern whether the vehemence of her response stemmed from a need to dispel any fears that Chandler may have, or whether she herself was seeking reassurance from him.
Given the steadfast support and adoration Chandler had bestowed upon her, she knew it was unfair to even think it; but ever since she had discovered that his date with Caitlin, the pizza delivery girl, had only been cancelled on account of her pregnancy announcement; Monica had been harboring the tiniest, niggling, shadow of an insecurity that Chandler's sweetness and unfaltering dedication was inextricably linked to the new life in her belly: That without the baby, Monica herself might never have been enough to inspire the dedication and commitment he was now so keen to award her.
Of course, Chandler had never done anything to confirm this fear; quite the opposite in fact; and Monica knew full well that in reality, this thread of doubt had very little to do with him, or his planned date with Caitlin, and far more to do with her own deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy: That hidden streak of self-loathing that had made her wonder so often, whether there was something fundamentally unlovable about her.
Despite never having felt so indulged and esteemed as she had since announcing her pregnancy to Chandler; still it remained; a hint of an itch that she was trying desperately not to scratch.
It was almost as though Ross had read her mind and decided to brutally expose this chink in her armor as he continued with his character assassination of Chandler.
"And just so I'm absolutely clear on the timeline, at what point during all of this was it that you were banging the pizza delivery girl?" Ross demanded hotly, "And did you bother to use protection with her? Or can we expect another little announcement? Quite the Casanova these days aren't we?"
"Ross! Would you just stop?" Monica cried in distress, but her request fell upon deaf ears as Ross continued to glare furiously at Chandler.
"I was not banging the pizza delivery girl!" Chandler rejected, glancing anxiously towards Monica. "And Monica and I used contraception! Something just went wrong with it, I guess! But that doesn't matter now, because we're both really happy..."
"I cannot believe this," Ross shook his head, his ragged breath audible by all in the room, "You're supposed to be my best friend. This is my sister, Chandler! I mean, what the hell do you think you're playing at?"
"Hey!" Monica interjected angrily, "It's not so long ago that you were in a relationship with my best friend. And I seem to remember being very supportive and happy for you both. Is it so much to ask that you could do the same for us?"
"That was completely different." Ross dismissed her with a scoff.
"How so?" Monica scowled.
"It is different, Mon." Phoebe suddenly interrupted, causing Monica's jaw to drop indignantly, and all eyes in the room to fly towards her in astonishment.
"You see, Ross has been conditioned by the patriarchal norms of our society to subconsciously view you, his younger sister, as his property. The fact that Chandler has defiled you in this way probably feels like a challenge to Ross's masculinity on some level. But it was fine for him to go out with your friend. Because you don't own him. Because he's a guy." Phoebe explained succinctly.
"What?" Ross spluttered, his face flushing a livid shade of puce "Phoebe, that's ridiculous!"
"Hey! Nobody defiled anybody!" Chandler mumbled his protestation, not even daring to look in Monica's direction, knowing full well that Phoebe's turn of phrase had the potential to cause a lascivious glint in her eye that Ross would most definitely not appreciate.
"I'd say you're exactly right, Phoebe! It's total hypocrisy!" Monica folded her arms across her chest and regarded her brother with an angry combination of triumph and accusation.
"Yeah Ross!" Joey nodded along in agreement with the two women, despite appearing somewhat nonplussed as to what exactly Phoebe had accused their friend of.
Ross turned slowly towards him with a disbelieving scowl.
Rachel brought a hand to her mouth to smother a smirk, and when she happened to catch Chandler's eye, she shot him a fleeting look of rueful amusement: Phoebe never failed to entertain with her unique and uncanny ability to needle Ross.
Ross, however, caught their shared glance and was far from impressed that any humor might have been found in this situation.
"Hey, don't you fucking laugh Chandler!" he warned, his tone suddenly dangerous, as he took a step closer.
"I wasn't laughing!" Chandler protested.
Monica's eyes widened at this sudden escalation in tension, and she grabbed at Chandler's arm protectively and attempted to form a human barrier between the two men.
"There is nothing funny about this. Nothing at all! She is my sister and I care about her. This is her future we're talking about! Her whole life is going to change! All because you decided to use her for a bit of vacation fun!" Ross seethed.
"It wasn't fun!" Chandler objected.
Monica turned to look at him and raised her eyebrows with a hint of skepticism. Chandler faced her and reassured her hurriedly, in hushed tones, "I mean, of course it was fun. It was really fun. You know: You were there."
Monica suppressed the merest hint of a wry smile as Chandler shook his head, acknowledging that this aside was unlikely to ease the tension between himself and Ross, and he turned back towards his friend soberly "What I mean is, it wasn't just fun. It was more than that. And I wasn't using her, I care about her! What Monica and I have is real!"
"Ross, I'm nearly thirty. I'm not some teenager in trouble!" Monica pointed out desperately, "This is everything I ever wanted! I am so unbelievably happy about this baby!"
"We both are." Chandler concurred softly, but Ross granted him only a scoff, before turning his glare to his sister.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a single parent? How the hell do you think you're going to juggle a baby with your career? Where on earth do you think you are going to live? It's all very well to want a cute little baby Monica, but having a child is life-changing!"
"Oh my God! Could you be any more patronizing? I'm perfectly capable of raising a child! Millions of people do it every day! Even you manage it!" Monica raged.
"Ross, we know that this is going to be challenging, but Monica's not going to be a single parent. She's not going to be doing any of this alone" Chandler promised solidly.
"Oh you're going to be there are you? You? The guy who has never been serious about anything or anyone his whole life? You've never managed a relationship that's lasted longer than five minutes, Chandler! Do you really expect me to believe that you're going to stick around to support her long term?"
The room fell into deathly silence as all eyes turned nervously towards Chandler, who suddenly exuded a steely and controlled determination none of them had ever observed in him before.
"Yes, Ross. I do expect you to believe that. Because I love Monica. And I love the baby. And I would do anything for them."
Monica stifled a gasp and swallowed hard: It was the first time she had heard those words fall from his lips.
Rachel, Phoebe and Joey exchanged sentimental looks. But Ross was resolute in his hostility.
Chandler felt Monica's fingers squeeze his arm as she stared up at him, her eyes suddenly glistening with emotion. Her lips parted as she began to form a response, but as she struggled to find the words, her brother was ready with his next stinging rebuke.
"Of course you do Chandler. "Falling in love" is all too easy isn't it? It's just the part where you don't freak out and run away from them; or else treat them like dirt so they break up with you; that's a little harder for you isn't it?" He sneered.
"Who the hell do you think you are to lecture anybody else about relationships?" Monica exclaimed indignantly.
"Ross, you're being pretty harsh!" Rachel reprimanded in agreement.
But Ross glowered back into Chandler's determinedly calm face and continued sarcastically, "So I assume the two of you'll be getting married then? Now you're this committed family man all of a sudden?"
"My God, Ross! It's not the Fifties!" Monica was outraged by his suggestion, "I don't want anybody proposing to me out of a sense of duty, thank you very much!"
"If you can get anything remotely like a sense of duty out of him, you'll be lucky Monica! I'm only surprised he didn't jump on the first flight to Yemen when he found out he'd got you pregnant!"
"Hey, calm down man!" Joey intervened forcefully.
"You have no idea what you're talking about, Ross! Chandler has been incredible about all of this. He could not have been more supportive..." Hot tears of frustration spilled down Monica's flushed cheeks as she spoke.
Chandler placed his hands gently upon her shoulders in an attempt to still her mounting fury, beginning to worry about the impact this level of distress might be having upon her. He had witnessed the Geller siblings locking horns to explosive effect enough times over the years to know that a change of tack was needed in order to prevent this situation from spiraling way out of control.
He reexamined Ross's anguished face for a moment before suggesting calmly "Look, I don't think all of this shouting is good for Monica and the baby. Ross, I'd really like to speak with you alone for a second. Will you come across the hall?"
He turned towards Monica and asked her "Is that OK?" Then his eyes darted between her and Phoebe, assuring them both "Don't worry, it's nothing patriarchal."
Phoebe raised a cynical eyebrow, "If you say so..."
Monica's eyes were anxious, and her bottom lip was trembling angrily as she nodded her reluctant agreement, Chandler's instinct was to attempt to assuage her with a soft kiss but knew very well that Ross would view any such gesture as provocation, so he settled for running a comforting hand down her arm before striding for the door with Ross in silent pursuit.
Chandler glanced over his shoulder as he reached the hallway and was comforted to see that Rachel had already taken Monica in her arms, as he had hoped somebody would.
As the door to his apartment swung closed behind them, Chandler was determined to speak first.
"Ross, please be happy for her," he implored with desperation as he turned to face his friend head on.
"She's so excited about this baby, you know it's what she has always wanted, and you also know she's going to be the most incredible mother. So no matter what you think of me right now, please can you just try to be happy for her. She's so worried about how she's going to tell your parents, she could really use your support."
Ross stared back at him darkly "It's not her parenting skills that I'm worried about. And I'll always support her."
"She's your sister, and I know you love her. I get that you feel protective of her, and it's only natural for you to worry about how this is going to impact on her life; but I swear to you, I am going to be there with her every step of the way." Chandler swallowed hard as he continued in earnest, "I know I don't have a great track record when it comes to relationships, but the way I see it, you only have to get it right one time. And I'm going to make damn sure I get it right with Monica. I've never wanted anything so much in my life and I'm not going to mess it up."
He moistened his lips as he declared hoarsely "I love her Ross. I really love her. I think maybe I always have. And I honestly feel like the luckiest guy in the world to be having a child with her. I'm sure this is hard for you to believe, I can't even quite believe it myself; but I'm not even scared about becoming a father, and that's because of Monica. It's not like any relationship I've ever been in before. This just feels... right."
Ross remained silent, fixing his eyes to the ground as he contemplated his friend's words.
Chandler averted his own gaze and shuffled his feet awkwardly.
"And I did think about proposing to her," he admitted quietly, "I even looked at rings."
Ross finally looked up at him, a look of pure astonishment evident in his dark eyes.
"I'd marry her in a heartbeat," Chandler continued sincerely, "But you heard what she said back there. I would never want her to feel like I was asking her to marry me out of obligation. She deserves better than that."
Ross eyed him guiltily and paused long and hard before finally beginning to speak.
"Look Chandler, maybe I was a little hard on you in there. We've been friends for a long time, and of course I know you're a good guy...But this feels like it has come out of nowhere. I just don't want to see her hurt, that's all. And I don't want to see her struggle."
"I'm not going to hurt her. I can promise you that." Chandler told him with convincing certainty, "And if she struggles, I'll be right there struggling with her. But you know, we're both adults with good jobs, great friends and family... obviously we'll need to sort out living arrangements... We might not have gone about this in a conventional way, but where Monica and I are now? We're not so different to any other couple starting a family. We know it's not going to be easy, but we're ready for that. I know we can do this. So please... please be happy for her."
"I am happy for her", Ross confirmed gruffly, "Of course I'm happy for her. And I'm happy for you too, if you mean what you say..."
"I do" Chandler guaranteed swiftly, "I do mean it. I'm not going to let her down".
As Chandler pushed open the door to the girls' apartment, he smiled fondly when he saw that Monica was nestled peacefully on the couch surrounded by Phoebe, Rachel and Joey. Their sonogram picture was being passed around, and Monica was beaming proudly as the others took turns in cooing and marveling at the grainy image of the precious unborn infant.
They all turned a little nervously when they heard Chandler and Ross enter, and Monica searched both of their faces in an attempt to gauge the success of their private conversation.
Chandler's eyes locked with hers and he shot her a comforting smile and a gentle wink that let her know immediately that things had been somewhat smoothed over and he could see her release a tense breath.
Ross had trailed into the room behind him, keeping his gaze to the ground, apparently somewhat embarrassed following his earlier outburst.
"I might head down to the coffee house, if anyone wants to join me?" Chandler suggested, looking pointedly between Rachel, Phoebe and Joey, hoping that they would take the hint that it might be a good idea to leave the Geller siblings to talk unhindered.
"Sounds good" said Rachel, nodding her understanding, tapping Phoebe on the elbow to encourage her to her feet, and gesturing for Joey to join them.
Chandler regarded Ross and then Monica with a degree of thoughtful trepidation, before taking the decision to approach Monica confidently, planting a chaste farewell kiss against her lips and giving her hair a light ruffle of affection.
Rachel and Phoebe exchanged a doe-eyed glance at this sweet display of tenderness, but Chandler was mainly just relieved that Ross did not react at all. Instead he shuffled awkwardly towards the living room, standing stiffly near his sister as he waited for the others to leave the room.
When they found themselves alone, he finally cleared his throat to speak. "Is that your sonogram picture?" he asked her quietly, eyeing the print that she clutched in her hand.
"Yeah" she confirmed solemnly, holding it out for him to observe, her gaze locking onto his face in order to assess his response.
He took a deep breath as he regarded the form of his tiny niece or nephew.
"It's beautiful" he told her, sounding somewhat choked, "Congratulations Mon."
Her bottom lip trembled as he took a seat next to her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"Look, I'm sorry for being such a huge jerk, before. But you know I'll always support you right?" he told her as he drew her into a hug "You're going to be an amazing mother, Monica, and I'm really happy for you. And for Chandler too."
"Thank you" she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion as his approval caused a soothing wave of peace to envelop her.
Monica was still enjoying a blissful feeling of lightness as she busied herself tidying her bedroom, awaiting Chandler's arrival with a giddy sense of eagerness.
The idea that the struggle to conceal their relationship was over, and that the two of them could now openly enjoy preparing for the arrival of their child rendered her positively effervescent with excitement, and the fact that they had achieved the apparent approval of the entire group, including her initially rude and grudging brother, was the icing on the cake.
Monica knew very well that this positive outcome was very much thanks to Chandler's calm and patient intervention. Her pulse raced a little as she recalled how empowering it had felt to have his unobtrusive but unflinching support as she had clashed with Ross, and how her heart had swelled to bursting point when she had heard his bold declaration of love for her and their unborn child.
She was desperate to reciprocate his sentiment both verbally and physically, and when he eventually poked his head around her bedroom door, the velocity with which she hurled her body at his took Chandler's breath away.
"Thank you so much for being so calm and for sorting everything out with Ross!" she told him as she wrapped her arms adoringly around his neck. "And I'm sorry you had to put up with him saying all of those horrible things about you. He really can be such an idiot at times."
Chandler shrugged as he pressed his lips against hers. "He was just worried about you, Mon. I can't blame him really... I'm not exactly known for my relationship prowess, am I. Was he OK? When we left?"
"Yeah, he was fine, we had a good talk," she confirmed, "But it would have been a disaster if it hadn't been for you, you did such a good job of calming him down. You'll have to teach me how to do that! And if you could deal with my parents too, that would be great.."
She shot him a rueful smile that was full of apprehension: They both knew that Ross was likely to represent only the tip of the iceberg when it came to the wrath and disapproval of the Geller family.
"You're amazing, do you know that?" she told him, cupping his face tenderly in her hands before drawing him into another fierce hug, feeling so very fortunate to have him standing staunchly at her side.
"So are you" he murmured as he buried his face into the warmth of her neck.
"Hey...by the way..." his voice was low and slightly hesitant when he eventually broke the comfortable silence of their embrace and encouraged her face towards his with a gentle nudge of his fingers against her chin.
"I love you" he told her as he gazed deeply into her eyes.
Her brow furrowed with emotion as she smiled back at him, before telling him teasingly "I know. I was there when you told Ross..."
Chandler chuckled self-effacingly "Well I thought that would be the most romantic way to let you know.."
"I love you too, Chandler." she told him, her tone suddenly gravely serious as she stroked his cheek with delicate fingers, her eyes alive with wonder "I love you so much.. I don't really know what to do with it. It's not like anything I've ever felt before."
"I feel it too" he whispered as he brushed his lips against hers "And I'm so glad we don't have to hide it anymore".
But his tenderness turned quickly to alarm when Monica took a sudden sharp intake of breath, her eyes widened and her hands flew to her abdomen.
"What is it?" Chandler grabbed her by the arms frantically "Are you OK?"
But her shocked expression melted into one of joyful awe "I think I just felt the baby!" she managed to whisper.
Chandler moved his hands instinctively to her middle.
"I don't think you'll be able to feel it from the outside yet," she told him slightly apologetically "It's really gentle, but I felt it! It was like...fluttering...or bubbles or something..."
She eyed him sternly, "It's not gas" she affirmed, predicting a humorous comment that for once Chandler found himself too overcome with emotion to even contemplate.
He felt her body flinch as she let out another gasp "I felt it again! It's definitely the baby!"
Her eyes glistened with unfiltered elation "Oh my God! It's the most amazing feeling in the world!"
"I guess he or she doesn't feel like hiding anymore either" Chandler grinned as he swept her into a euphoric bear hug.
