Chapter 6.2 - The New Hire Orientation Affair, Part 2
The next day saw Shinji at CONTROL again, this time with him called into the Smarts' office. Upon arriving, he found waiting for him Kodama, Barbara Ann, Max...and Max. Shinji blinked a couple of times, before rubbing his eyes. Yet even after that and shaking his head a bit, he finally got the hint that his eyes weren't deceiving him-there really was two of Max standing in the office before him.
"Who-?! How's-?! What's-?!" Shinji sputtered out confusedly.
"Good afternoon, 86," both Maxes greeted simultaneously.
"Consider this a little pop quiz concerning your observation skills, Shinji," Kodama elaborated as she walked to his side. "Give these two a good look, and see if you can determine who's the real Maxwell Smart."
Shinji, starting to understand the little challenge laid before him, recomposed himself as he looked over both Maxes with a discerning eye. He looked each over from head to toe, making mental notes of any differences he could find. Finally, after several minutes, he spoke up. "The one on the right's the imposter-Mr. Smart holds a cane with his right hand, but the one on the right puts weight on his left side more. There's a small but somewhat noticeable tic in the right one's right eye, which Mr. Smart lacks; and based on what I can make out of both left hands in each left pants pocket, the right one's index finger shows a more visible bump under the fabric, while Mr. Smart tends to keep all the fingers on his left hand level inside the pocket."
"Excellent job, 86," Max congratulated.
"Yes, excellent indeed, 86," the second one added as he then, to Shinji's surprise, pulled off what turned out to be a mask, revealing a dark-haired, slightly thin-faced Italian man underneath. "Bravisimo, Senor Ikari."
Shinji willed himself not to do a double-take on seeing this, instead merely turning to Kodama. "And he is...?"
"Your instructor in all things covert infiltration and disguise," Kodama answered.
"Pistachio Disguisey, at your service," the man in question introduced himself as he shook Shinji's hand.
"He comes from a long, long line of secret agents known for being masters of disguise," Barbara Ann explained. "His father, Fabrizzio, occasionally worked with CONTROL back in the day."
"Young Shinji, by the time we are done..." Pistachio began to say, "you will be able to assume any appearance you can think of with 100% authenticity, no matter the mission. I can see it now-a boy of a thousand faces!"
"Really? O-okay then..." Shinji replied, a bit nervous about what these lessons would entail. "What comes first?"
"First, il mio ragazzo," Pistachio started to explain, "we go over one of the basic fundamentals-how to apply make-up!"
Shinji's eyebrows rose at this. "A-all right-as long as it's hypoallergenic..."
To be continued...
Featuring:
Pistachio Disguisey - Dana Carvey
*Author's Note(s)*
Shinji's next mentor is the main character of, unfortunately, what has been deemed by critics as one of the worst films ever made, 2002's The Master of Disguise. The only solo theatrical vehicle for SNL veteran Dana Carvey, it flopped both with critics and at the box office upon its release. Yet, because it's also a spy spoof I remember seeing the trailer of a number of times as a kid, I figured I could throw it a bone in some manner by having Pistachio Disguisey 'cameo' in this story.
