An hour after she'd sprinted laps around the Victor's Village and squatted sandbags in her backyard, Katniss's lungs still ache with fire. Her shoulders are frozen stiff from hours of archery practice. Hoping that each arrow she shoots counts as a step closer to coming home.

The sight of Haymitch and Peeta leaving stabs bitter shards into her soul. Prim and her mother's forlorn faces only remind her how much of a disappointment she is. Hopeless. Only a few gasping breaths remain until she's swept from the earth forever. She finds herself wandering into the Meadow, seeking the comfort of solitude and the forest's silence. Even if the Mockingjay's chirps are broken by the singing hum of an electrified fence.

Katniss stands beneath an Apple tree. Her heart clenches when she looks up at the noon sun threading its rays through the lace-like pattern of leaves. She thinks of Madge's dress. An apple for a kiss. Her face flushes with warmth, fingers trailing against the spot. Before they dance across her lips. The slightest reminiscence sets her heart ablaze.

Oh Madge, what have you done to me?

They haven't met since the encounter in the woods. Not even when she deliberately enters the Justice building, peeking her head into each room without reason. Or lingering past the Mayor's house repeatedly. Hopelessly lost without her presence, she can't help but feel her heart crack a little more each day without Madge's voice. And all at once, each memory they've shared together forms a potent, bitter vial of medicine that fractures her eyes with tears.

The scent of Lavender adrift on the spring breeze fails to stop the incoming tide of tears. She wipes at her eyes before Madge can see. The girl does anyway.

"You're here," Katniss murmurs, looking away, "I didn't think you'd come all the way to the Seam."

"Haven't you always shown up at the Merchant side?" Madge answers. There's a sharp edge to her voice. One that grates at Katniss's soul and forces her to reconsider turning around. She doesn't have to. The girl walks right into her, arms wrapped tight in a hug. Warmth blooms. Katniss lets a tear trickle down her cheek unchecked. Just so that Madge can wipe it away with a thumb. To feel that blessed touch of her skin one more time.

"I-I missed you," Katniss whimpers, before she feels a rush of shame at how honest she is with her helplessness, "I haven't seen you in…in…days-"

"Dad's treating this whole secretary thing a lot more seriously than before," Madge answers, fumbling around for Katniss's hands.

"Oh."

"There's no way you can get out of the Quell can you?" Madge asks.

Katniss sighs and shakes her head, "I don't, god - this is all happening too quickly."

"Would you mind walking me home?" Madge asks. Katniss immediately discerns the urgency behind her voice. Between the steadfast bulk of the apple tree and the sight of the woods. There're just too many memories tying them together. Memories that will make letting go of each other insurmountable.

"Sure," Katniss takes the girl's hand into her own. Ignoring the curious eyes thrown their way when she leaves the Meadow's solitude and enters the Seam's outskirts. She knows her pitiful situation draws their attention. Or even the sight of Madge's perfect, white cotton dress in a rough neighbourhood. But Katniss can't help but wonder if it's because they're holding hands. Victor. Mayor's daughter. Two girls. She ponders the flush behind her cheeks. Is it embarrassment? The heat of desire? The way Madge's fingers curl into hers like she's the last person on earth?

All the thoughts flutter away like Dandelions in the wind when she peeks over and sees Madge blushing as hard. A question sprouts on her tongue. Edging to poke the incessant, uncharacteristic silence that's befallen her. But as soon as the Seam's lunch crowd clears, the girl speaks first and ties Katniss's tongue into knots.

"I just can't seem to get you out of my head," Madge whispers beneath her breath, "no matter how busy I make myself. You're just there. And it aches so much-"

"Oh god, Madge," Katniss whimpers. But that tight bloom of her heart renders her mute. She knits this feeling into her bones as tight as she can, knowing there'd be scant memories to strengthen her for the Quell.

"You probably hate me," Katniss continues.

"For what?"

"Peeta. The marriage. Getting myself stuck into another round of games-"

"It's not you-" frustration seeps through Madge, "I know it isn't. Or at least I keep telling myself it isn't. That you wouldn't lie to me."

"I'm not, Madge," Katniss struggles to keep up with her pace.

"Is it selfish? Am I selfish for wanting you all to myself? Tell me I'm wicked, I'm a horrid, privileged girl who has wealth but still wants more like I can't enough-"

"Madge, please-" Katniss lags behind her, tripping over her boots as the girl walks faster and faster. Heeled shoes clack upon the broken pavement tiles.

"The truth is, I'd trade it all away just for the surety of your presence. I'd go hungry for days if I could do it with you."

"Stop!" Katniss grabs Madge's shoulders and whirls her around. Before shuddering back at the tears in her reddened eyes.

"The selfish part of me wishes I'd fallen in love with someone else," Madge admits, wincing as though the words sear into her flesh, "instead of watching from afar as you're taken away again and again. Watching you give your lips to another person."

Katniss slinks back, dull throbbing heart booming in her ears as it threatens to implode under the gravity of Madge's tears.

"Y-you have no idea," Katniss shakes her head, guilt crushing her so tight she fears she's about to snap, "all the nasty things I've wished."

The silence between them stretches thin amidst their snivelling.

"Immediately after they announced the Quell - I lay in bed and thought of you. A-and in that moment I wished I never volunteered for Prim," Katniss's voice shakes, "I wished I'd never won. We'd still be that poor family from the Seam. I'd still be able to see you and not worry about when Snow's going to hurt the people around me. I hate myself for this."

"Katniss, please," Madge begs, throwing herself into Katniss's arms, "y-you'll make it back, won't you? Second time lucky?"

"Snow's not going to stop," Katniss breathes in the scent of Madge's hair. The bittersweet reminder of the joy in her life that's soon to be destroyed tears a new chasm in her heart.

"There's danger brewing, I know it," Madge drops to a whisper, before she's quickly yanked away from the wall. This time, Madge hurries her footsteps in time with Katniss's. Struggling to keep up even with their fingers threaded together.

"What danger?" Katniss whispers once they're in the open.

"I can hear things on the radio-"

"Radio?"

"Dad has two, one at the Justice Building and one at our house. He doesn't use the one at home so I've extended the antenna out my bedroom window-"

All the hairs on her arms bristle in an instant, "Didn't you tell me that Thread's house was across your freaking window?"

"They're preparing something, I know it," Madge ignores her warning, "Between all the riots in other districts. Reservist callups. Fleet drills-"

Katniss's eyes widen as liquid dread drips into her stomach.

"I'm afraid, Kaniss," Madge admits, "I'm scared of what they'll do to the districts if things get out of hand."

The dread freezes, forming a huge weight as the burden of Panem drops on her shoulders. Holding her hostage. Once again, Katniss feels like a pawn in the grand scheme of things, and there's nothing she can do to keep Madge safe from the Capitol. Knowing their cloak of secrecy will never last forever. The thought of winning one more time just to get wrenched from Madge's side again and again breaks Katniss apart.

"You deserve so much more," Katniss forces her face still, even as a tear slithers down her cheek, "a person who can love you without any conditions-"

"Stop-"

"Madge, I wish I could love you like nothing else ever mattered on earth."

"You don't have to!" Madge seethes through gritted teeth, "y-you're all there is to me in this world. No one else."

Katniss lifts her eyes. The breeze dries the tears on her face. Leaving salt and the aftertaste of Madge's professions. Her house looms in the distance. And with it - the end of their all-too-short moment on earth. As if the girl intends to prolong this moment further, she leads Katniss around the back, into her backyard. Beset with an immense, lush green canopy from several oak trees. Their feet make crunch crunch noises on a scattered mess of pinecones and dry leaves. Katniss tries not think of the skulls she'll be trampling beneath her feet, or if hers would join theirs.

The sudden thought of District 12 reduced to rubble, skulls beneath her feet - bolts through Katniss like lightning. She freezes, only for Madge to squeeze her hand so hard that it hurts.

"Katniss," Madge coaxes her, squeezing until the life in her eyes swims back, "I'm here."

Her heart ignites with affection. Madge steps forward, and it seizes her breath when their lips meet.

It's worth it. Katniss tells herself as she falls deeper into Madge's kiss, everything for this girl.

"I wish I could volunteer for you tomorrow, anything that could keep you away from that place," Madge sputters against her lips, "all I can do is love you from afar, even if it's the last thing I ever do-"

"I'll think of you," Katniss promises, sealing her words with another kiss, "all the way into my grave. I swear it."

She hears the Mayor's voice calling from the living room. Katniss gives one more squeeze into Madge's hands, wishing she had something else besides tears and broken promises to give the girl in return for her Mockingjay pin.

But there's nothing.

A jarring ache burns in her chest when she leaves. A pain that hammers itself into her very soul when she hears Madge weep in the backyard. Spreading its hurt as the Mockingjays carry the sound of her cries all the way back to the Village. Only a mile down the road but still a million lightyears away from the hope of ever feeling her presence again.