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Chapter 6

R

Hermione

Ginny, Hermione and Ron all sit in the Gryffindor common room waiting for Harry to arrive. Ginny told Hermione that her idea of making Harry apologize here at the school had worked. Unfortunately, there were your typical eavesdroppers so of course the table erupted with whispers of Harry coming as soon as she said it.

Nosy lot.

Hermione glances over at Ron every now and then trying to gauge whether he was going to come say anything to her. When he first arrived, he wouldn't even acknowledge her and refused to go near her. However, Ron did also glance at Hermione, but with the purpose of giving his best eye roll and or scowl. She almost anticipated some sort of rude comment, but he didn't say a word to her. After everything they've been through, his silence was somehow worse. She wasn't going to say anything to him though; it was up to him. She didn't want to intrude on the grieving of their relationship. She felt as though trying to extend another lifeline right now would only be painful for him and if she was honest with herself, she didn't want him thinking that they'd get back together. That decision was final. She was not going back.

With them all in the common room she felt as though she was out of place. Ginny was Harry's girlfriend who he came back to see in the first place, and then Ronald is his best friend. She knew that Harry and she were also best friends. She's aware of the bond they share. But to Hermione it didn't feel quite right being there, she didn't truly belong there.

Hermione lifts herself from the sofa that she and Ginny are perched on. "You know, I think I'm going to do some light reading in the room. I'll let you guys have your time." Looking at Ginny, giving her a small smile.

"You haven't seen Harry since you left. He's going to want to see you," Ginny pleads.

"I know. I'll just come back when he's done groveling," Hermione smirks at her.

"Told you, I'm worth it," Ginny mirrors Hermione's smirk.

She rolls her eyes as she's walking out of the room to go to their dorm. Hermione did have the option of acquiring her own room for her eighth year but wasn't ready to be truly on her own yet. She didn't want to drown from her own thoughts. Ginny's always been the best distraction from depression spirals. Hermione lays there on her bed for a few minutes not doing anything but simply thinking about the following day. The first day. Her last first day of Hogwarts. It brought on a mixture of emotions - a bittersweet feeling. She recalled all the crazy adventures that she, Ron and Harry went on throughout their years. It brought on many marvelous memories as well as terrible tainted ones. For her, the heaviness of the tainted memories evened out the plethora of marvelous ones.

This is why I can't be alone.

Shaking her head from her spiral, she searches the room for something to distract her. Her eyes land on the small bookshelf near the door, catching the title of a book that brought on the good memories. Hogwarts: A History. Grabbing the book to go back to her bed, she sits criss-crossed and opens the book that started it all for her. She gets sucked in immediately just like the first time all those years ago. Reading about the founders and their ideas for the school they envisioned and all the magic that's been embedded in the foundation of the school. She notes the few unimportant spelling errors and the intentional lack of information in certain chapters.

A knocking sound in the distance pulls her attention, lifting her head to spot black hair and bright green eyes.

Harry.

Her smile reaches his as they remain in their spots; him in the doorway, her still criss-crossed on the bed.

Ginny comes to lean on the other side of the doorway. "He's done groveling," nodding her head at Harry, but talking to Hermione.

"Ginny, the fight wasn't even my fault."

"Oh Merlin, maybe he's not," rolling her eyes and throwing her hands in the air as she walks off.

Hermione laughs at the pair.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "What am I going to do with her?"

"Well, seeing how you're not going to be here, sounds like maybe some peace, quiet and far less theatrics," Hermione says to Harry, but yelling the theatrics bit to Ginny.

Harry and Hermione share a small lighthearted laugh and then Harry's face falters slightly.

"I know it's going to be hard this year, but I want you to have fun."

There's a sense of hope in his voice that still seems to be evading her.

"Oh what? You don't think I can have fun on my own?" Hermione's tone is light and playful.

Harry just points to the book still in her hands with a playful disapproving look.

"Come on, Mione," Harry says, nodding his head for them to go to the common room.

She hears the distant laughter and chatter that's taking place outside her room and decides to follow her best friend into the madness of the last night of freedom.

* . * . *

Hermione and Ginny are happily drunk, laughing hysterically at Neville's black eye, speculating the reason for it.

"Rompus love-making!" They shout excitedly at one another before starting up their laughter again.

Neville scowls at them. "She won't let me heal it," his tone now pleading, trying to talk over their laughter.

"Alright. Alright!" Harry yells above the laughter and music.

He flicks his wand to turn the music down and steps on to the table in the middle of the room. Hermione's smile reaches her eyes, taking comfort that Harry's also drunk; or at least buzzed.

After what that boy has been through, I'm glad he's able to find joy again.

"So, we all know that being back here is a very bittersweet feeling," he says in a sincere tone, "but even though I'm not going to be here with you for our last year-"

Shouts of playful disapproval bounce around the room.

"No, Harry, you have to be here."

"I'll pack my things back up right now."

"Oh, this year's going to be a disastahh."

Harry shakes his head and holds his hand up to shut the bantering crowd up, "Although I'm not going to be here, I do want to wish all of you the best of luck for this year. I know after everything that the war destroyed, it's good to know that this blasted castle kept."

Everyone shares expressions of happiness, amusement, or solace.

"I just wanted to let all of you know before the year starts how proud I am of all of you. I know some people have decided to not come back and that's totally within their right. I owled them well-wishes. But I'm glad I can tell you guys this to your ugly mugs."

Light laughter is echoed throughout the common room.

"To your last year at Hogwarts. May it be everything you need and more," Harry says to his audience as he raises his glass full of Firewhiskey.

"To Hogwarts!" Everyone shouts, raising their glasses.

"To our last year!" Ginny shouts, slurring her words while raising her glass before plopping down next to Hermione.

"To our last year!" Everyone shouts in celebratory fashion.

"I'm drunk," Ginny giggles to herself, bobbing her head from side to side.

Hermione chuckles at her redheaded friend then catches another redhead out of the corner of her eye. She turns to make eye contact with Ron only to see him shake his head in an irritated manner, letting her know he's not ready yet and stalks off further into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione nods to herself in acknowledgment.

It'll take some time.

Jumping down from his soapbox, Harry yells, "Now let's send you lot off the proper way," pulling a small vile out of his pocket.

Oh god no, not the veritaserum.

Everyone cheers, and a few guys step forward to pat Harry on the night upholds the fun and lightness that she wants to belong to but a part of her holds back, watching the merriment of everyone around her. Hermione was asked at least four times to play their truth or dare game, to be rejected playfully each time. She watches her fellow Gryffindors spew their secrets and engage in hilarious dares. Her favorite truth of the night was when Luna announced that she would like to know what it would be like to add another person to her rendezvous with Neville.

That was eye opening.

Her favorite dare of the night was when Harry was shrunk with the reducio spell and had to shrink down to climb into an unsuspecting Seamus's trousers to pinch his balls.

I don't think anyone will forget that.

Then everyone teased Harry about how he was 'willing to get into Seamus's trousers.' Harry's a good sport though, he thought it was hilarious. Now feeling herself sobering up, Hermione takes a look around the room feeling semi-hopeful for the year that's about to commence. She takes in a deep breath to let out a long exhale.

Tapping Ginny, she hands her own half full drink. "I think I'm done for the night; I'm going to head to bed," shouting over the commotion of the room.

Ginny nods her head to then get up at the same time as Hermione.

"I'll be in a little while," Ginny says before kissing the side of Hermione's head.

She nods her head and turns to the direction of their dorm, but as she's walking, she feels the breeze coming from the Gryffindor tower and decides to enjoy the cool air and last of her night. She treks up the stairs; the night's stars twinkling increasingly greeting her as the night comes more into view from the large open stone windows. She hears echoes of footsteps that aren't hers and turns to see who's behind her as she ascends the top of the stairs.

Harry comes jogging up to her, "Hermione, you didn't say goodnight!"

The sound of more people already in the Gryffindor tower pulls both of their attention. Ron and Parvati seem to have a private party of their own. Ron makes eye contact with Hermione before he leans over to kiss Parvati. Passionately. Hermione furrows her brows in disgust as she crosses her arms and leans against the stone wall, looking at the two swap spit.

"Is he trying to make me jealous?" She asks in an annoyed tone.

"Why? It's working, isn't it? You sound irritated," Harry points out.

She exhales and then turns to Harry, "I'm irritated because he thinks it'll work."

Harry gives her a semi-saddened expression while shaking his head knowingly. "He'll come 'round. Thinks you're the love of his life," giving her a pointed expression.

Hermione laughs, "God, I hope not. I'm not getting back together with him."

"Well, when the time comes to have that conversation, let him down easy. Yeah?"

She gives him a small smile while nodding, both of them looking back at the pair still snogging.

"Besides he's a terrible kisser, I would hate for the love of my life to be a shit snog," Hermione snickers.

Harry's laugh is boisterous. The noise interrupts the couples' kiss.

"Oi, you mind?" Ron shouts, eyes on Hermione.

Hermione lifts her hands in defeat and tugs on Harry's shirt to follow her.

"Hate to be Parvati then," Harry chuckles as they both quickly descend the stairs.

"If she was smart, that would have been a good time to leave," Hermione chuckles.


Malfoy's lips on hers. Bare naked skin touching. Heat of their bodies melting into each other. The sound of water splashing with their movements. He tastes of delicious green apples. The smell of his signature cedarwood and sour apples surrounds her. All of her senses encapsulated in the delirious moment she's found herself in. Craving more. Needing more. He grinds his erection against her center, euphoric tingles broadcast their intention to every nerve ending throughout her body.

Pain.

Excruciating pain.

Hermione screams as the pain from her scar abruptly wakes her up from her intoxicating dream. Gripping her arm as she sits up in her bed, unphased by the sudden light that Ginny turned on.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Ginny screams herself, afraid for her friend.

Hermione shrieks again, head tilting back from the pain pulsating from the scar.

"Okay, okay, let's go to Pomfrey," Ginny's voice trembling with fear.

Hermione doesn't say anything. Can't say anything; the pain won't let her. Ginny pulls Hermione out of bed and rushes her to see Madam Pomfrey. Ginny verbally thanking Merlin that they're close to the hospital wing.


Wednesday, 2nd of September 1998

Hermione woke up in the hospital wing unsure of how she got there.

"Oh, you're finally up. Thank Merlin," Madam Pomfrey exclaims briskly rushing to her.

Hermione wipes the rest of sleep from her eyes sitting up, noticing the bandage around her scarred arm. Wearily taking note of the rust color that's pulled around the scar. Horrified by the amount of dried blood, she quickly unwraps it, ignoring the sting of the bandage sticking to the wound. Pomfrey takes her arm to gauge the scar and exhales in a satisfied manner.

"It's stopped bleeding."

"Oh, you're awake! Thank Merlin!" Ginny yells running to Hermione, wrapping her arms around her, nearly knocking Hermione out of bed. "I was so scared when you woke up screaming the other night."

The other night? How long have I been here?

Pomfrey and Ginny share a quick glance, "You've been here since Monday night."

What day is it?

"It's Wednesday morning." Ginny says, pulling her brows together, wincing.

"I gave you a Mandrake mixture with Essence of Murtlap. You couldn't seem to sleep because of the pain so I gave you Sleeping Draught as well," Madam Pomfrey explains to Hermione.

I missed my first day. My last first day.

Hermione looks down at her arm. The scar hasn't hurt that much since the night it was carved into her.

"I'm sorry Miss Granger, but your scar contains a kind of dark magic that I've never encountered before. I fear that unless I don't stumble upon it myself, I won't be able to cure your ailment. You may have to look elsewhere if your pain persists."

Ginny's eyes fling to Pomfrey with horrified worry, then looks to Hermione, her expression shifting to overwhelmed sympathy.

"Is it spreading?" Ginny asks.

Pomfrey shakes her head. "It doesn't seem to have, but if it's that painful and that dark, I'm sure its purpose is to spread. I'm not sure why it hasn't yet."

Hermione lets out an exhale clutching her arm to her chest, thanking 'God' it hasn't spread and has stopped the painful pulsating.

"We'll keep an eye on it. I'll come by when the pain returns. It does still hurt every once in a while," she says, giving Ginny an apologetic expression for not telling her about it. "But it's never hurt like that since I first got it. I just hope it doesn't hurt like that again."

Both Ginny and Madam Pomfrey nod their head in agreement.

"I came to see you before our grieving sessions are to start, so I need to head back. But I can totally ditch it to be here, if that's what you need?" Ginny gauges Hermione's reaction.

Hermione shakes her head. "No, go ahead," Hermione says, pulling the covers off herself to put her clothes back on that are neatly folded at the foot of the bed.

"I mean it. I'll stay."

"No," Hermione laughs. "I actually think this will be a perfect time to air out my grievances about this blasted thing," she quips, waving her scared arm in the air.

Ginny nods, "You can always come with me, you don't have to be by yourself with those Slytherins."

Pomfrey gives Ginny a disapproving glance before walking off.

"Honestly, I feel like the irony of it all is morbidly comforting."

Ginny scrunches her face in playful disapproval, shaking her head.

Pomfrey comes back with a new bandage in hand.

"I had this soaking with Mandrake Root and Essence of Dittany overnight. You don't have to wear it, but just as a precaution, I would like you to keep it on for the next few hours," Pomfrey says, wrapping the healing laced bandage around Hermione's arm.

After the bandage is placed and Hermione is dressed back in the pajamas she wore the night she came in, she walks with Ginny back to their dorm to change. So, she can bare the burdens of her scar and the war.

* . * . *

Once changed into her school uniform, she grabs her wand and journal to head out of the Gryffindor common room.

As she exits, she hears Ron, "She doesn't have to wear her uniform to those groups. Merlin, she's gotten so boring." He then chuckles, "You know the sex was just as boring, just laid there really."

She stills just outside of the common room unseen by Ron and Dean as the portrait closes behind her.

I guess I have another thing I could talk about today.

Her shock turns to anger and stomps off to the Slytherin common rooms where the sessions are to take place. She spots Ms. Pleakly, remembering that she had told Draco that she was going to be the one overseeing his group.

Oh.

Shit.

Ms. Pleakly's smile is wide and welcoming, silently calling Hermione closer.

"Miss. Granger! So glad you could make it! I wasn't sure if you'd be awake by now."

Hermione also now remembers that she's Madam Pomfreys new Healing Apprentice, and wonders if she helped with her scar. She walks closer to the door noting the serpent lifting to reveal the massive wooden door to the Slytherin common rooms. Ms. Pleakly speaks in Parseltongue and the door automatically opens for them to enter.

Does she actually know Parseltongue? Or does she just know the password?

They both walk through the entrance and walk down the stone steps.

"I had the others gather in a free open space. Once we're all together, I'll close the room off to others, so it feels more private," Ms. Pleakly states to her as they descend the last of the stairs quickly taking in the giant arched windows displaying a dulled green hue from the lake waters.

Then they turn to the open space where 4 students sit in a semicircle, waiting for their circle to become more definitive. Hermione immediately spots blonde hair and attempts to not outwardly panic as they reach the group, clutching her journal and scar to her chest. She cautiously glances at the other faces in the room. Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy sit in their semicircle waiting for her to complete their circle. They all turn to see who's approaching their gang, horrifying disgust and shock on a majority of the group. Blaise is the only one whose expression is purely shock, not a hint of revulsion as his counterparts.

"Afternoon everybody," Pleakly greets, walking to a seat, flicking her wand to enclose them into the room.

Hermione's eyes flicker to everyone's face, not managing to move a muscle. Stunned by the predicament she wrote her name into; she debates on staying. Hermione, standing close enough to the wall, feels the air push through as the last of the bricks scrape to close behind her. Her opening to exit now vanished.

Fuck.

"Fuck," a painfully familiar voice says outloud.

"Mr. Malfoy. Language!" Pleakly loudly warns.

Hermione cautiously glances at the scolded individual; his gray eyes flickering to her journal, trapped in her embrace, and then to her face before ripping his head to any direction she's not. Ms. Pleakly took the chair next to Malfoy leaving the empty one directly across from him open for her to take. She exhales and slowly walks to her chair.

"Hurry up, Granger, I want to get this shit over with," Pansy bellows out.

"Miss Parkinson, you too! Language. I will not tolerate it."

The Slytherin gang roll their eyes in unison. Hermione cautiously takes her seat across from Malfoy, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs.

"Now, I've been informed, and told to tell you, that anything stated within these sessions are to remain here. No information shared will be collected to be held against you. This is to be a safe space to share, to mourn, to alleviate burdens." Ms. Pleakly states with genuine sympathy and hopefulness.

There's a long awkward silence that fills the air.

"So how are we supposed to start this thing off?" Nott asks the room, slight agitation in his voice.

"We could all talk about scars we got from the war," Pansy suggests, eyeing Hermione's bandage, smiling arrogantly.

Uneasiness washes over Hermione, contemplating Pansy's disingenuous suggestion.

"That could be a good place to start," Ms. Pleakly nods her head in approval of Pansy's suggestion, the snarkiness lost on her.

Hermione's brows pull together with irritation at the dense Healing Apprentice.

Idiot.

"Well, I did get a rather nasty paper cut opening a letter," Nott says to the group, his tone playful.

The Slytherin gang snicker at their friend's aloofness.

"I had some really bad sex," Pansy says, with the same aloofness. "Not you, Draco." She adds, winking at Malfoy.

Hermione's eyes widen as she's sitting in her chair still clutching her journal.

Oh.

Ms. Pleakly's inhale of breath is audible.

I have a feeling it's going to get a lot worse.

Another awkward silence. Hermione takes in a deep breath of her own before deciding to one; change the subject and two; speak.

"Apparently our first assignment in Advanced Potions is worth a decent portion of our grade for the first semester. We only have that one class period to make the brew to be presented, it's supposed to reflect everything that we've learned throughout our years. I haven't even come up with a potion I want to make."

"Of course, yours would be school related," Pansy scoffs, "You're so fucking boring, Granger."

Screw you!

Hermione scowls at Pansy.

"Will you all quit it with the foul language!"

"Fine, I'll share" Hermione spits, opening her journal, scanning for an entry she's willing to share.

She clears her throat, "With the threat of the war no longer looming over everything, I can finally breathe. As much as I excel under the extreme pressure, I hate every fucking second of it. I hate being forced into a war I had no business being in. I hate the way it stole my childhood from me. I hate being a Witch. I hate hating being a witch. I hate the scars it's left me with. Internally and externally." She almost reads the next part of that entry but stops herself.

She peers at the Slytherin's, her brows raised in an annoyed pointed expression, "Happy?"

They avoid eye contact with her, except for Malfoy. His narrowed glare displays his own irritation.

"Sounded like you wanted to continue there, Granger," he says pointedly. "Please do. I'm sure we'd all love to hear more from your diary."

Hermione's glare now mirroring Malfoy's.

"Go on!" Malfoy baits.

Hermione simply scoffs and shakes her head, unwilling to do anything Malfoy demands.

Why should I do as you want when you never did what I fucking begged you to do?

Fuck you, Malfoy.

Before she can register what's happening, Malfoy plucks her journal out of her hands and plops back into his chair. He quickly scans the entry and immediately picks up where she left off, mocking Hermione's voice "I hate my scar! I hate how I have no idea what the fuck is going on with it! And I hate him for it! I hate how he did nothing. Draco fucking Malfoy did nothing as I laid on his manor floor begging for help! I fucking hate Draco Malfoy."

Hermione's mouth opens in shock, anger and embarrassment of his violating behavior.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Ms. Pleakly scolds.

Hermione's wrath builds in her throat desperate to be freed. She stands, her chair scraping against the stones of the floor. "How DARE you read my journal!"

Ms. Pleakly holds up her hands to gesture for them to stop. Malfoy's scowl is directed towards Hermione while the rest of the Slytherin gang wear intrigued raised brows.

"Well guess what Granger? I hate you too!" Malfoy seethes, glaring up at Granger.

"For what Malfoy? Please, enlighten me for the horrors I've committed against you!" She spits out pointing to herself and then to him.

"Because you're a reminder of all my FUCKING failures!"

"Oh, you mean this failure?" Hermione shouts at him quickly unraveling her bandage to bare her scar to him.

Springing out of his chair causing it to fly back, shouting at Hermione, "You don't think I have scars from this war?!" Ripping his black button up sleeve to bare his Death Eater Mark.

Heavy breathing and viciously angry, they stand there sharing glares and their scars the war granted them.

"You're right Malfoy. You didn't do a damn thing. And that's your failure."

"NO!"

Hermione gives a pointed expression for him to continue.

"Because I fucking tried to do the counter curse for it! That's my failure!" Draco yells in Hermione's face, pointing to her arm.

Time comes to a standstill as Hermione and Malfoy's eyes are locked on one another. Her eyes wide as her jaw goes slack, unable to fully register the previous words spoken to her while Malfoy's clenched jaw and hard expression doesn't falter.

WHAT?!

Her face contorts to a mixture of shock and horror as she takes a step back. Everyone's face turns to shock and horror as well, each head slowly turning to look at Malfoy.

He narrows his eyes at her and steps closer to her. "While you lied there on the floor of MY manor begging to me, to your god, to anyone who would fucking listen to make Bellatrix stop. I tried the counter curse aunt Bella was using while carving up your arm," he snarls, his voice low for her ears only, millimeters from her. "And clearly with it still needing to be bandaged, I fucking failed at that too." His last sentence is an angry shouted whisper for everyone else to hear, exhaling through his nose making the loose curls from her bun blow out of her face.

The familiar and inviting green apple aroma intrudes her senses. Desperate to escape inevitable unwanted thoughts of Malfoy, Hermione takes a few more steps back clutching her arm once again. Slowly shaking her head in an attempt to rid favorable thoughts of this platinum blonde haired boy in front of her, fixating on the words that previously left his mouth.

"I tried to do the counter curse"

"And clearly with it still needing to be bandaged, I fucking failed at that too."

"Language, Mr. Malfoy!" Ms. Pleakly exclaimed from the comfort of her chair.

Malfoy plops back into his chair crossing his arms, not making eye contact with her, "So thank you, Granger, for being the biggest reminder of me failing to actually do something."

"Draco," Pansy says with a mixture of disbelief and something else Hermione can't sense.

His anger is now turned towards Pansy, "Don't start, Pansy."

Pansy shares uneasy glances with Zabini and Nott.


2nd of September 1998

I can't believe Draco's the reason for why the dark magic hasn't spread. . . .

I don't know what to do with this information.

Do I tell someone? Can he help me find a cure for it?

Is he worth forgiving?

I've hated him for so long. Does this small kind gesture outweigh all the awful things he's done?

I guess it's not the only, seeing as he didn't identify Harry when he could have.

I don't know what to think. Is this alone enough to give him a chance?

Hermione recalls when she got her wand back.

He gave me back my wand. Out of all the people who didn't believe I belonged in the Wizarding World. He had the opportunity to keep it. Or destroy my wand.

But he didn't.

He gave it back.

I guess it really depends on if he's trying to change himself.

Forcing herself to stop thinking about Malfoy and whether or not he's worth giving a second chance she attempts to find some other thought to fixate on. Anything would be better than Malfoy. She recalls earlier in the day right before she left for session.

I'm still upset about what Ron said as I was leaving for the session. How I've become so boring. How our sex was so boring.

I'm not fucking boring.

He just doesn't inspire any of my passion.

Besides he's a fucking terrible kisser.