This was originally posted as chapter 21 of "The Short & Sweet" series and takes place a few months after "Deadly Ambition" - season 14, episode 15. Frannie doesn't exist in this story.

"Short & Sweet" was a series of standalone one-shots (for the most part, anyway; occasionally a storyline would consist of a few chapters instead of just one).

Some of these chapters from the "Short & Sweet" series are just snippets of Olivia's and Amanda's lives (like this one) and some are much more detailed (like "Turquoise Distraction"). Some of them don't have a clear resolution because the plot is not meant to be drawn out, so it might seem like some of the chapters end a bit abruptly (and a bit unhappily).

I'll try to keep reposting a mixture of friendship and romance, angst and lightheartedness, and detailed and not-so-detailed. I know some readers prefer friendship and some prefer romance (I love them both equally).

I'll probably post another sad friendship story next and then I'm going to post another lighthearted romantic one. :)


Olivia Benson is on her hands and knees on the dirty floor of the squad room, peering underneath a row of empty desks as she frantically searches for her missing set of keys. She is the last one of her team to leave for the day, bidding goodnight to the guys before realizing that she was unable to go anywhere due to the absence of her car key and needing to locate it before exiting the precinct and heading to her vehicle.

Olivia is momentarily distracted from her frenetic task with the realization that she doesn't recall seeing Amanda leave the room at any point either, wondering if she isn't the last one here after all and hoping her colleague can help her find what she is looking for. A quick glance up from a suspiciously sticky spot on the tiles beneath Nick's desk confirms that she is indeed alone in the squad room, and figures she had missed Amanda's departure in her own haste to vacate the building.

Brian Cassidy is currently waiting impatiently for her at the restaurant they had agreed upon for their date that evening, having texted her multiple times to inquire on her whereabouts and when she would be arriving, and Olivia doesn't want to keep him hanging any longer than she has to. They haven't been getting along very well lately, every insignificant detail of their relationship seemingly an excuse for a shouting match, and Olivia just doesn't want to deal with it tonight; not after such a long and tiring day.

Just as she has gotten to her feet and is dragging her hands back through her hair in sheer frustration of the situation, considering calling a cab and continuing with the search the following morning as she will likely be staying overnight at Brian's place anyway, it hits her. Olivia remembers sneaking up to the cribs for half an hour during her lunch break to lie down and close her eyes for a short period of time, intending on trying to rid herself of the headache that she woken up with that morning. She had grabbed her jacket on the way up the stairs for an extra bit of warmth in the chilly, drafty room; the threadbare blankets on the beds not doing a great job of holding in the heat during a quick nap, and the keys had most likely fallen out of one of the pockets.

Olivia rolls her eyes at herself as she jogs swiftly up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time and almost tripping over her own feet when she reaches the top. Her foul mood is only growing worse when she thinks of facing her irate boyfriend at a restaurant she doesn't even particularly like and had only agreed upon to appease him and avoid their usual arguing. It briefly occurs to her that tonight might be a great time to just put an end to this relationship that has been plummeting steadily downhill for the past few months, although the thought of having to endure a possibly dramatic break-up does not exactly fill her with joy.

Olivia sighs harshly and pushes open the door to the cribs much harder than she means to, wincing when she door slams into the wall with an audible crack and bounces right back toward her, nearly hitting her in the face before she catches it with her hands just in time. A startled gasp suddenly pierces the air and Olivia lets out a surprised squeak of her own when she sees a small lump moving under the covers of the bed that is pushed into the farthest corner of the room.

A head of messy blonde hair pokes out from beneath a mound of thin blankets, Amanda's pale face peering at her with confusion and then a mixture of embarrassment and panic as Olivia's eyes meet those of the younger detective's, a perplexed frown marring her own features. She takes a step over to the bed, her frown deepening when she sees Amanda shrinking back against the wall like she is making an effort to hide herself from her gaze, curiosity and concern coursing through her system now.

"Amanda, what are you doing here?" Olivia asks quietly, holding her hands out in front of her in a non-threatening gesture, just in case the other woman was in the midst of a nightmare when she had come bursting so forcefully and unexpectedly into the room, and is just coming back to reality. "I thought you went home."

"I, uh, just wanted to take a rest before I left for the day," Amanda mumbles in a low tone that is so unlike her usual vibrant voice, shifting uneasily beneath the covers. "I'm not feeling very well."

"You weren't feeling well enough to make it back to your apartment so you had to take a nap here first?" Olivia replies skeptically, sitting down slowly on the bed opposite Amanda's and watching the blonde nod in response. "If you're that sick, one of us could have driven you home. Or at least I could have if I actually had my keys..." She trails off as she spots the object of her intense search lying on the floor a few feet away and leans over to scoop them up with a triumphant grin.

"I can take you home right now, if you want." Olivia stands up and holds out a hand to Amanda with the intention of helping the smaller woman to her feet, figuring she can drop her off on the way to the restaurant and frowning again when Amanda shrugs away from her touch.

"Thanks for the offer, Liv, but I think I'll just rest here for a little while longer." Amanda's voice is a choked whisper when she speaks again. "I'm not quite ready to go yet."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to rest in your own home if you're feeling unwell, instead of this ugly, freezing room where the mattresses are like sleeping on a slab of concrete and the blankets are so thin it's better to cover yourself with a jacket?" Olivia sits back down on the bed she has just vacated, leaning forward to catch Amanda's gaze when the younger woman's big blue eyes drift away from her to focus on something across the room.

"And shouldn't you be having something for dinner as well?" Olivia prods gently when there is no immediate reply from her fellow detective. "It's getting late. You must be starving."

"I'm not hungry," Amanda murmurs in return, her gaze shooting anxiously to Olivia's when her stomach suddenly lets out a very loud growl.

"You seem pretty hungry to me," Olivia observes with an arched eyebrow and a slightly edgy chuckle, as something is definitely not right. "What's going on here, Amanda? Why don't you want to go home?"

Amanda is silent for a moment, pulling the blankets up higher over her shoulders as if in attempt to shield herself from Olivia's questions. "Because there's nothing to go home to," she finally mutters under her breath, rubbing a closed fist over one eye and reminding Olivia of a sleepy, upset child. "Nothing but bare walls and bare cupboards and bare floors."

"What are you talking about, Amanda? I don't understand." Olivia is staring at the younger woman in utter confusion, aware that Amanda had walked into a completely cleared-out apartment a few months earlier after what her sister Kim had put her through, but that the blonde detective had recently moved back home after staying with Fin for a little while, claiming she was having some new furniture delivered.

"Fin told me you had been able to buy some things and that's why you left his place to go back to your own," Olivia continues softly, ducking her head down to try and meet Amanda's gaze when those cerulean eyes dart away from her once again, a distinct look of shame on the other woman's face now.

"I lied." The words are completely flat and devoid of emotion and when Amanda throws her a quick glance, Olivia feels a chill run down her spine at the depth of despair that is apparent not only on her pinched features but in her body language as well, the slumping of her shoulders and the bowing of her head hinting at an immense amount of sorrow.

"You lied about buying furniture?" Olivia prods gently, slipping off the bed and onto the floor so she is kneeling beside the hunched form of the smaller woman. "Why would you lie about something like that?"

"Because I can't afford to buy anything right now," Amanda whispers dejectedly, Olivia feeling the younger detective flinch slightly beneath her touch when she reaches out a hand to lay on Amanda's shoulder. "I had been staying with Fin for far too long and I didn't want to be a burden on him anymore. Or on anyone else," she is quick to add when Olivia gives her shoulder a tender squeeze.

"Amanda, I'm sure between all of us here at the precinct, we can find some used furniture to lend you or pitch in to buy you something new and you can pay us back," Olivia says reassuringly, not quite understanding why her colleague seems to be feeling such a large amount of shame for not being able to buy what she needs, especially since Kim had quite literally taken every single thing she had owned.

"I don't want any charity. I can handle this on my own," Amanda replies curtly as she levels her with a glare, Olivia a little taken aback at the amount of venom that is currently being directed her way when all she has done is offer to help a colleague in need.

"So this is how you're choosing to handle it on your own, then?" she shoots back with a hint of impatience in her tone. "Sleeping in the cribs for the night and not eating anything for dinner? And it's not really considered charity if you're paying us back, you know."

"I don't need any help," Amanda says stubbornly, shrugging Olivia's hand off her shoulder and pushing her face into the worn pillowcase with a deep sigh.

"So instead of accepting help, you'd rather be doing this?" Olivia questions in disbelief, gesturing around to the grim-looking room they are residing in and wondering how many nights Amanda has been spending here lately. "Is your pride really so great that you would turn down the offer of a bed or a couch so you don't have to spend your nights in a place like this?"

"I can't accept your help." Amanda's voice is suddenly so low that Olivia has to strain to hear her, leaning forward so that her head is practically resting on the pillow next to the smaller woman's.

"Why?" she inquires softly, taking a chance and threading her fingers gently through Amanda's hair, even though the blonde has just shrugged away from her touch, Amanda's extreme vulnerability and sadness inducing an overwhelming need to provide some sort of comfort and care.

"Because I'm not going to have anywhere to put any furniture soon," Amanda mumbles after a brief hesitation, Olivia watching as her eyes slip closed and her forehead puckers with distress. "I can't pay my rent anymore."

"What are you talking about? Why can't you pay your rent?" Olivia's hand comes to a halt against Amanda's silky strands of hair, a distinct feeling of dread forming in the pit of her stomach because she is fairly certain that she already knows what Amanda is going to say, the other woman confirming it for her a moment later.

"I relapsed after what happened with Kim." Amanda's eyelids flutter open slowly, a tear balancing on her lower lashes as she speaks in a hushed tone full of regret. "I've gambled most of my money away. I have practically nothing left and pretty soon I'll have nowhere to go, not even my empty apartment."

"Oh, Amanda." A wave of guilt and sympathy washes over Olivia as she strokes a thumb against the wrinkled forehead of her colleague, the tear breaking free from Amanda's lashes and sliding down her cheek. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish you had said something sooner. I wish I had noticed what was going on."

Olivia feels her own tears rising to the surface as Amanda lifts one shoulder in an offhanded gesture, like it doesn't really matter that no one has bothered to take notice of how bad things have gotten and how far she has fallen since Kim had turned her life upside down. "I know you've been busy, Liv. It's been a tough year. And you have your own life, just like everyone else does. I don't need to be burdening anyone with my problems."

"Amanda, you are not a burden," Olivia chides softly, taking note of the fact that the younger woman has used that word twice now to describe herself, and trying to prevent her from using it again. "Kim put you through hell and you have an addiction. It's understandable that you would slip up after everything that's happened. But we can fix this."

"We?" Amanda repeats in derision with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "Olivia, you don't need to fix anything for me. I'm the one who screwed up. This doesn't concern you. And I'm sure you have much better things to do with your time than sit in the cribs with your pathetic excuse for a teammate."

"Actually, no, I don't have anything better to do," Olivia retorts instantly, realizing that what she has just said is entirely true; that there is nowhere she would rather be in this moment than right here with Amanda, loathe to leave the other woman alone in this state and her heart aching with compassion.

"Don't you have a date with Cassidy tonight?" Amanda replies warily with a quirk of an eyebrow, looking as if she doesn't think she deserves to take up any more of the senior detective's time and attention. "I overheard you talking on the phone with him earlier and making plans to go out for dinner."

When Olivia just sits there silently on the floor beside Amanda's bed, not really sure how to respond to the question because she is pretty certain that date-night was going to turn into break-up night had she not been waylaid by the blonde's predicament, the younger woman's eyebrow arches higher on her forehead.

"Trouble in paradise?" Amanda asks quietly, a mixture of curiosity and tenderness in her voice, and for the first time since Olivia has entered the room, Amanda inches closer to her so they are breathing the same air, Olivia slouched over the bed as they stare intently at one another.

"Yeah, you could say that," she mutters with a sigh, figuring Brian has called or texted several times by now as he wonders what the hold up is, and the combination of the likely dissolve of her relationship as well as Amanda being in such dire straits, has Olivia rapidly blinking back her own tears.

"I seem to go back and forth between wanting to fight for what we have and wanting to just give up," Olivia admits softly, surprising herself by confiding in Amanda as they don't usually discuss such personal matters, but in light of what the other woman has just revealed to her, she figures it's okay to be equally as candid with own issues. "But we don't need to talk about that right now, Amanda. There are most important things to discuss, such as what's going on with you."

"I'm too tired to discuss it," Amanda murmurs in exhaustion as her voice wavers slightly with the threat of impending tears, the small figure curling up into a tight ball beneath the covers. "To be perfectly honest, Olivia, I would rather just lay here and cry."

"Can I lay here and cry with you?" The words are out of Olivia's mouth before she can stop them, surprising herself again by what she is saying in front of Amanda and hoping she hasn't overstepped her boundaries by suggesting such a thing.

Amanda gazes at her with watery eyes for a moment, another tear trailing down her cheek before the corner of her mouth lifts in what might pass for a smile, sliding to the back of the bed and holding up the blankets in invitation. "Sure," she sniffles quietly, Olivia gingerly slipping beneath the covers next to her colleague as she longs to both provide comfort and receive it.

They lay there face to face on the rock hard mattress without speaking, Olivia shifting several times to get more comfortable before realizing that it's just not going to happen and finally letting her body come to a halt against the sheets. She reaches out a hand to thread her fingers slowly through Amanda's hair again as a tear trickles down her own cheek, and she feels the younger woman squeezing her hip gently in response as she moves closer.

Olivia is aware that there are so many things she should be doing besides cuddling up with her colleagues in the cribs; that she has to go back down to the squad room and call Brian to let him know she won't be showing up for their date because she is not leaving Amanda alone tonight, and that she needs to have a very serious discussion with the other woman about what has been happening for the past few months. Amanda needs help in so many different ways right now and Olivia is intent on doing whatever she possibly can to assist her fellow detective, as soon as Amanda is ready to resume the conversation and share more of what has been going on in her personal life lately.

For now, though, Olivia just holds out her arms to the smaller woman when Amanda can no longer contain her sobs and they come bursting out in a waterfall of emotion, gathering the quivering form into her strong embrace and holding onto her tightly as they cry together.