Welcome to my attempt at Flufftober! Been wanting to get one out for years, but the timing is always off, and my moods haven't exactly put me in the lovey-dovey start of mind. SO Here are the three prompts I choose from some random meme and went to town.
Prompt:
1) Caught in the rain
2) Secret crush
3) Hold me in your arms
Niko's decision over Darko isn't settling well and now he's reached rock bottom. Where does he find himself this stormy night? With the last person he'd expect acceptance from.
aaaaaa
The rain pelted the dark figure hunched over on the park bench, but he seemed to pay it no mind. The air was frigid and clingy, but it feared getting too close to the person in turmoil. Not a soul dared to venture out into the storm- none except the person who welcomed the affliction. Something to numb the pain and chaos that consumed his reeling mind. His hands shook in front of him, and he tightly closed them into fists.
Darko had been there- right in his grasp.
His anger could drop the next person to the floor with how it radiated off of him. So why had he not pulled the trigger? Everything he had been searching out in his life had snapped into focus. The single person he blamed for every fucked up event in his life lay bound in front of him in a backlot of the airport. Yet when the time came to claim his rightful revenge and put an end to the suffering, something stilled his finger.
A voice had broken through the rush of blood in his ears and in booming clarity spoke to him,
"Stay the hand that kills."
His hand had gone slack against the pistol with the rude interruption. He watched as Darko became aware of his surroundings and took off toward a different airplane hangar, hands still bound behind his back. Somewhere in his panicked mind, he registered that Roman was trying to usher him back to the vehicle a few yards away. Something else was moving his body, he was sure of it. He had just failed in exacting revenge for his entire squadron…
And himself if he was being honest.
Darko's death was meant to be an end to the suffering. An end to the relentless nights of waking up in a pool of sweat because he was unable to save his friends from the enemy forces. An end to the detachment from his own life. To be able to move on and let go, to finally start living again… But no. He had lowered his weapon and let the bastard run off. An entire decade of his life wasted as the single person responsible stumbled further and further away.
The ensuing conversation with Roman left him feeling even more desolate and empty. He knew his cousin was trying to get him to see the light, the good from letting Darko live. But he wasn't ready to see it. His revenge was gouging out his insides the longer he sat in the dimly lit park and let the rain drench him. He was livid with himself but also torn on how to correct his current downward spiral. He knew he would need to snap out of it, or he would end up like Darko- miserable, lost, and alone.
Roman had looked beyond concerned for his wellbeing as he dropped him off at Brucie's, but he couldn't muster the strength to look him in the eye to dispel his worry. He turned his phone off the second Roman went inside the apartment. He wanted to be left completely alone. And going back to any of their shared apartments would not give him the space he desired. He didn't want pity or sympathy. He wanted to surrender into the injustice of it all.
Wearily he looked up at the illuminated metal globe in Meadow's Park. His eyes traveled over the expanse of land that once used to be called Yugoslavia. He could almost pinpoint where his village once resided, but he dropped his head back down to stare at his waterlogged boots. His friends deserved to be avenged for the wrongful death they were dealt, and he had failed them.
"Why? He was right there. I had the pistol. I was ready…" His words lost amongst the torrential downfall. The rain slapped against the steel of the Monoglobe as the wind picked up and he squinted his eyes against the onslaught. 'Even the weather understands my conflict…'
"Niko?!"
His head snapped up as he thought he heard his name being called out in the maddening wind and rain. His eyes darted around the courtyard to see if he could spot someone approaching him. At the late hour and the current storm, he doubted anyone would be out wandering around. But with how out of hand things had been for him, he wasn't sure if this would turn out into some kind of shootout or poor attempt at killing him.
He shoved off the bench and pulled his pistol. If some idiot was out to get him, he would gladly put them out of their misery. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Jimmy Pegorino or any of his goons. He wasn't ready to interact with Dimitri in order to set up some lame drug deal that he knew he would get betrayed on once more. And with his current mindset he was more than happy to go hunt down the rat and exterminate him once and for all. One revenge drenched path may have been avoided, but Dimitri completely deserved what was coming his way.
Silently, and using the storm as cover, he moved back into the tree line and waited for the enemy to emerge into the kill box. He crouched down to hide behind the low line of bushes and trained his pistol toward the main entrance down into the fountain courtyard. He strained his ears to pick up on footfalls or heavy breathing, but the rolling thunder and pounding rain drowned out all the other ambient noises.
"Niko!" Someone's voice barely broke through the raging storm, and he blinked rapidly to clear his vision and jog his brain on where he had heard the voice before.
"Niko? Come on!" A figure shakily took the couple of steps down into the courtyard and turned every direction in search of him. Their arms clutched the smaller frame and shivered against the cold, harsh wind, "Please! You have to be out here!"
Niko watched as they nearly fell over their own feet into the beam of light from one of the lampposts. Reddish-brown hair that was slicked down against porcelain white skin caused him to instantly recognize the female that was braving the storm in search of him. He tucked the pistol back down in its usual hiding place and moved back into the open space in order for her to see him. She had turned back toward the stairs as he walked toward her.
"Niko! I'm getting worried!" Kate cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted out against the unrelenting storm.
"I'm more concerned about you being in this weather!" Niko raised his voice as he approached her from behind. She jumped at the sound of his voice and spun around to face him, terrified eyes met his and she did a double take to make sure she was actually seeing him. She was absolutely soaked from head to brightly colored rubber rain boots. The thin fabric of her black nightshirt and pajama pants clung to her like a second skin and his eyes trailed over her trembling body. He tilted his head to the side as she continued to stare at him, opening and closing her mouth rapidly as if completely lost for words.
"Oh my God! Niko!" Kate rushed forward and flung her arms around his neck, slamming her rain drenched body into his. She immediately buried her face into the crook of his neck and held on with a strength he didn't know she possessed.
The sudden nearness threw him off balance and he took a small step back with her force. His arms hung suspended in the air as if he didn't know what to do. She had never once initiated touch before and here she was throwing herself at him in the middle of a heavy rainstorm. Slowly he returned the embrace and tried to calm the shaking she was doing. He stoked over her wet hair and braced her body against his. Her feet dangled above the concrete pavers, and he adjusted his hold in order to take her weight against him properly.
"I! I was so scared!" Kate mumbled the words against his ear as she tried to get impossibly closer to him, "Roman called me completely worried. Said you turned off your phone and hadn't come home." She hiccupped against the sob that tore from her throat, "That- That you wanted to be left alone and didn't want to be bothered."
He wasn't sure what to say. He was pissed off that Roman had gone to the trouble of bothering Kate over his situation. But her reaction was shoving his anger to the side. She was distraught, clinging to him, and crying. What was she even crying over? What was there to worry about? He was perfectly fine sitting alone, in the middle of the night, in a storm. And it was rather valid given the circumstances that led him to the park in the first place. Carefully he lowered her back down to the ground so he could gage her reaction better.
"He said that you weren't okay." Her bottom lip trembled with her words, and she reached up to cup his face, "He told me he was worried you were going to do something…" Her eyes pleaded with him to say something to offset the frenzied fear she had worked herself up to.
"I'm… okay." He hated lying to her. It was the one thing he tried to avoid with her. They had always been open and honest when they talked about life. Granted they avoided any and all topics that revolved around his current employment and things her brothers were involved in. So he was never put in a position to lie. But as he stared into her stressed expression, he found himself breaking the one rule he had made for himself when it came to her.
"Because being alone in Meadow's Park while it rains buckets is completely okay!" Her fingers gently dug into the sides of his face, forcing him to keep eye contact, "No one should be alone when they are hurting as much as you are." She searched his eyes and let a violent shudder travel over her body.
"I'm better off alone Kate." Niko cautiously grasped her wrists to pull her hands away from his face. Her touch was pulling other emotions and wants to the surface, and he didn't deserve the comfort now. He wanted his pain and anger. He thrived on it. Now she was trying to pull him from his internal storm, and he wanted no part of it.
"Cut the bull shit Niko. You're not. After everything you've told me, I feel like I have a decent understanding of you. And by all means correct me if I'm wrong! But you are far from okay. And I'm not leaving you… Till I know you will be!" She jerked her wrists from his light hold and hugged him fiercely again. She pressed her ear over his heart and closed her eyes to focus on the steady rhythm. He was alive and unharmed, and it was a start. Slowly she sucked in a lungful of air to get her own heart to cooperate and get back to a normal pace.
Once more he froze at the touch. It wasn't like he didn't like the form of affection, but the timing and everything felt so wrong. They had been building up to a tipping point in their friendship/ relationship- whatever it was between them. He had been patient and slow, and at some point, grew fond of their outings and talks in the random vehicles he took her out in. She had listened to him and took in all he had to give. She would push him constantly to be a better man, to give up the life of crime and killing.
And here she was, drenched from the onslaught of rain, holding on to him desperately. Just what had Roman told her to make her feel the need to head out in search of him? She had no vehicle, was underdressed to be outside in the chilly air, and she was unprotected. He frowned at her carelessness but returned the hug after a moment or two hesitation. He sighed heavily as she fisted her hands in the back of his jacket.
"Kate. There are things in my life that only I can manage. And that's the way it has to be." He leaned forward to rest his chin on top of her head, finally giving in to the need to hug her properly. Her continued shivering concerned him enough to put aside his own issues for the time being.
"No! Let me help!" She pulled away only far enough to be able to look up into his guarded expression, "I care about you, I-." She swallowed thickly and forced herself to stop while she was ahead. She had found him, was holding on to him, and the longer the image burned into her brain, the more embarrassed she grew. She hadn't even bothered to grab a rain jacket as she fled from the brownstone in search of her friend. Suddenly she felt extremely self-conscious and somewhat naked.
"I know you do. I care about you. And you shouldn't be out here in this storm." He reached up and tucked a plastered strand of hair behind her ear that was stuck to her cheek, leaving his hand pressed her to cheek to feel her body temperature. Her face flushed in a bright contrast to the paleness of her wet skin. He could feel the way her chest heaved against his own every time she sucked in a labored breath. Her fingers continued to dig into his jacket as if she were terrified he would shove her off of him. Softly he caressed his knuckles over the bare skin of her arm watching as she trembled beneath his hands. Her skin was cold to the touch, and he grew uneasy with her reactions, "Did you just run out of the house to find me?"
"I had to find you. I needed to know..." She glanced back down to his chest and let the sob out she had been holding back. It was such an overwhelming relief to see him alive and okay. There was only one spot she knew of that he would sometimes go to in order to think. She had shown him the park and globe that existed across the street from her Ma's home. She would sometimes sneak out of the house to sit in front of the metal structure and zone out to find some peace. It was by sheer luck that she had found him in the park after Roman's call.
"Let me get you back home. You'll get sick out here." Niko tucked more of her hair behind her ear and rubbed his thumb over her tear and rain-soaked cheek. He didn't need her getting sick because she was worried over him. It was bad enough he was beating himself up on the inside, he didn't need someone else getting hurt because of what was going on in his life.
"Niko. Just give me a moment. I…" She let out a huff and looked back up to his face, "I thought I was going to lose you…" More tears slipped from her eyes and mixed with the rain that continued to fall over them.
Her words sank down in his soul. She was scared she was going to lose him? Clearly Roman had exaggerated the situation… Or maybe this was his new way of matchmaking. Which if this is what that was, he was going to have a serious discussion with his cousin about not getting involved in his love life ever again. But as he thought about it more- how did Roman even know her number? It had been a shock that Roman had invited her to the wedding on his behalf, but to call her up after letting Darko live? That was a line that shouldn't have been crossed.
She shook in his hands, and it snapped him from his thoughts. He wanted to tell her everything was okay. That there was nothing to worry over, but the more he gazed into her eyes, the more he knew he couldn't push her away. He knew he felt something toward her, more than simple friendship, but his heart and mind were at a crossroads. He wasn't sure what to do about the job Jimmy had given him. He wasn't done processing letting Darko go. And now the female that occupied his thoughts most of the time was holding on to him in the middle of a storm.
So much was compiling at once and for a brief moment he thought about just telling her everything and letting her decide his fate.
But he couldn't do that. His past would give her a real reason to be scared.
"Tell me- Tell me you aren't going to do anything to jeopardize your life. I can work with that. I can't force you to be alright. But I can do my damn best to help you." She firmed her hands on his back and glared up at him. Her fire was contagious at times, and it lifted the corner of his mouth into a slight smirk.
"You do call me a stupid idiot. A deranged psycho. You must assume I jeopardize my life on the regular." He laughed at the outright appalled look she was now sporting with his words.
"God… I'm a horrible friend. No wonder you just tolerate me." She let go of his jacket and shrugged out of his light hold. Kate turned around sighing and looked up to the heavens, closing her eyes to shield them from the harsh rain, "Niko I'm sorry for all the name calling and hurtful things I've said. I like you. I really like you. You know I do." Her hands gripped her opposite elbows to try and fend off the coldness that seeped into her soaked skin.
"I like you, Kate." Niko watched as she hunched in on herself. He hadn't meant to throw things back in her face. She was out here looking for him to ensure he was okay and didn't deserve to be pushed away.
"We keep saying such declarations, yet don't do anything about them. I'm not sure when it changed between us. And maybe it was always there, lurking behind veiled words and lingering gazes. But the second I answered my phone and heard Roman's panicked and scared voice telling me you had gone through a horrible ordeal, and you were probably out drinking yourself into a stupor and would jump off into the Humboldt… I didn't even hesitate to get out of bed and start looking for you." She wiped at her face, knowing it wouldn't do anything to remove the dampness.
"Pretty stupid of me, huh? Because clearly you are more than capable of handling yourself and in absolutely no need of some ridiculous, scared to life, messed up woman chasing you around in the middle of the night!" Her voice grew with her anger, and she shouted the last few words, spinning around to point an accusing finger his direction. She had felt the inner tidal wave crash as the relief gave way to her own doubts and pain. She was so very tired of fighting herself over her feelings for Niko.
Four months, maybe five somewhat blissful months, had passed between them. He had been there through the death of her brother. Had defended her family from the attacking gangsters at the church. Even helped carry the coffin to the final resting place. And while lately their conversations had left her yearning for more than a simple goodnight at the end of their time, she knew he was pulling away. Something she had done or said had wedged between them. It tore at her the longer she tried to figure it out on her own.
"Kate…" Niko tore his eyes off of her and watched the choppy water in the fountain pool. Things had gone too far between them. He had let it grow into something more and now he was going to have to be the one to break it. She didn't need to be in his life. There was so much danger to look out for and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if she got hurt, or worse, killed because of who he is.
"You know I'm pretty accustomed to your silence. But I'd give anything right now for you to tell me I'm wrong." Her heart was breaking in her chest, and she rubbed at the rawness that burned below the surface. She watched him scowl at the brightly lit Monoglobe and she shook her head. Maybe she had been wrong? Maybe the signs she had been looking at were not telling her he felt the same way. That he had fully accepted and committed to the friendship title, and now she was beyond too late to change it.
"Actually, Niko. Forgive me. You've had a rough day and I'm here just making things more complicated and worse for you. I… Um. I'm going to head back home. But you really should get out of this storm soon. You wouldn't want to get sick for your cousin's wedding. Good night, Niko…" She gave him one last longing look before heading back toward the staircase that led up to the street.
Niko tried to reason with himself. It was for the best that she walk away and out of his life. He couldn't even commit to see his revenge through with Darko, so how was he supposed to devote himself to a meaningful relationship? But her pain and suffering was caused by his inability to react to her coming to his supposed rescue. Not that he needed saving from anything. But she had gone out of her way to find him and check in on him. That held a higher meaning to him, and now she was walking away from him. He had been caught off guard and unprepared to see her so soon after the rollercoaster of a day he had that he had somehow inadvertently hurt her.
"Kate!" He called out to her retreating form and took off in a light jog. He wasn't going to make the mistake of letting her think he didn't care. She had been wrong. He didn't need her thinking he agreed with her self-assessment. She was stronger than she knew. And it was her fight and fire that he originally grew fond of. Then it was the mutual respect and understanding that their pasts weren't perfect. She had said they were survivors. They had more in common than he first figured they would have.
They both carried endless waves of pain that only one other person could help calm…
"Niko. It's alright. I think I understand." Kate paused at the foot of the steps and watched as a car barreled down Savannah Avenue, splashing water up and over the curb.
"You don't." He turned her around and cupped both of her cheeks, forcing her to look up at him. "You were in the right to come looking for me, but not for the over-the-top reason Roman gave you. I am… I will be fine. With time." He tried to brush away her tears, but they kept mixing with the rainwater that persistently fell from the sky.
"Yes, but like usual I make everything about me. I had gone in search of you to ensure you are okay." Kate sniffled against the cold and held on to his arms. She wanted to just collapse into his arms. Her body was tired, her mind spent, and her heart just couldn't take anymore. She had gone and fallen for the one person she knew she shouldn't. And she couldn't bring herself to give a damn. All she wanted to do was love someone and have the sentiment returned full force.
"Stop it. Thank you for looking for me. It… it means a lot. It shows you don't just say the words." Niko moved into her personal space and threaded his fingers back into her soaked hair, tilting her face up further to maintain eye contact.
"Niko... I care more than I should. I'm so scared." She bit her lower lip to stop it from shaking. Her body was long past cold, and her fingers felt numb as they gripped his saturated jacket sleeves, "Sometimes I am so worried about my phone ringing, and it would be Packie letting me know you are dead. Or that one day you would just up an vanish from my life. I need…"
"I need to get you back inside your home before you freeze to death. Kate you are so cold…" Niko cut her sentence off. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear what she would or wouldn't say. He also didn't like the clammy, chilly, feel of her skin under the palm of his hands. She had stopped shivering all together and he knew it was only a matter of time before she succumbed to the elements.
"I'm only moving from this spot if you come with me." She tried to firm her hands on him but couldn't tell if she was applying pressure or not.
"Fine. I'll come inside long enough for the rain to let up." Niko glanced up toward the street to see if he could spot Packie's red comet. The last thing he wanted to deal with was a pissed off brother coming at him. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of being in the household after hours… Especially if he dragged in a soaking wet Kate who was looking rather promiscuous. Her shirt was weighed down with water and hung on her in all the right places. He shoved the thoughts as far away as he could.
"Worried about Packie? He ran off before the storm hit. He's probably waiting it out at Steinway. Ma is passed out and oblivious to the world." Kate turned in his arms to follow his gaze. She had thought it all through before throwing out her words. Her family wasn't always the most welcoming when it came to her personal life… Mostly when it involved men. But everyone seemed to like and accept Niko into the fold.
"Okay." Now he was hesitant to be left alone with her in their house. She would need to get out of the wet clothes, and he didn't trust his brain to stay out of the gutter. He had touched her more than he ever had before, and now he was essentially being invited to spend time inside the house. With just her…
"Come on. I think I can find some spare clothes for you to wear while I dry out our clothes." She tugged on his arms and took a step back completely unaware of the thoughts that were short circuiting Niko's mind. She threaded her fingers as best as she could through his hand and dragged him up the steps and in the direction of the red door of the townhouse. She would make sure the fire was going and then go find them some dry clothes to wear and toss their wet stuff in the wash to be cleaned and then dried. And maybe make some hot chocolate if she could get him to wait around. 'Going to need more than just a hot drink to warm me up…'
Niko let her lead him back up to the street level and he forced his eyes to stay anywhere but the curves of Kate's waist and hips. He had at first cursed the storm and his luck at being caught outside, but now he was somewhat thankful for the way the water pulled on her pajamas. He still didn't know why she hadn't bothered to change clothes or put on a coat. He wasn't going to do anything close to what Roman was hinting at. While he battled with his own demons, that one had left him alone for the most part.
They approached the stone steps that led up to the door and Kate struggled on the last step. He caught her around her middle before she could fall too far forward. His hands splayed over her stomach and ribcage as she regained her footing. It was far too intimate for his liking, and he helped her stand back upright. Her face was burned scarlet, and he knew she felt embarrassed for slipping up.
"Sorry. My legs are tired." Kate mumbled as she pulled the house key from her pant pocket. Silently she worked the locks and opened the door. She glanced over her shoulder and nodded her head to let him know it was alright. Packie's car had been nowhere in sight along the street and the house was as still and quiet as she had left it. Quickly she moved over toward the wall and braced herself against it in order to kick off her heavy rainboots.
Niko watched her movements and followed suit. His normal boots were completely soaked and had left his socks and feet freezing. Now that he was in the warmer interior of the McReary household, he was starting to realize just how cold he was.
"I'm going to run upstairs real quick; can you get the fire going again? There should be plenty of wood stacked up on the side. I won't take long. Promise." Kate whispered to him and moved closer so her voice wouldn't have to carry too far. While her Ma usually slept through the fights and yelling matches as of late, she didn't want to risk her coming down and seeing Niko in their living room. With Packie not present.
"Sure." He nodded to her and felt his blood warm in his veins. Her hair was dripping water down on her shoulders and he realized he had never seen it down before. The ends brushed softly along the bare skin of her neck and caught his attention. His eyes traveled down her body to the mounds of her chest, the stiff peaks strained against the weighted down shirt, and he felt his mouth water. He had stolen plenty of glances here and there of her when she wasn't paying attention. But now she was practically on full display, and he was struggling to tear his eyes off of her.
She smiled as he grew quiet and glanced down at the floor. Her heart turned over in her chest as he looked so torn up about something. Maybe she would be able to get him to open up over a steaming hot cup of chocolate by the roaring fire. The idea felt nice, and she reached up to trail her trembling fingers along the scruff of his jaw. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she placed a soft kiss to his cheek, "I'll be right back."
Niko watched her creep up the stairs, avoiding one or two here and there that probably made too much noise. It made him wonder if she had memorized the steps in order to come and go as she pleased… Or if it was for more nefarious reasons. Like avoiding her father's wrath or the constant fights between her brothers. He shook himself from his thoughts and headed into the main living room to where a small fire was dying out.
He removed his jacket and draped it over the fireplace tools. It would need a long time to completely dry out. He untucked his sweater from under the pistol to keep it hidden from view. The last thing he needed was Kate freaking out over it after the exchange they just had. He knew they needed to talk about what was between them, and why he needed to keep his distance till this last job was done with Pegorino. Maybe he could enjoy the wedding with her and leave the life of crime behind after his final job. It was a thought that he wanted to ask her about. And maybe get her input on what he should do about working with Dimitri again.
"Mm. That fire looks warm." Kate mumbled from the center of the living room.
Niko looked over his shoulder and froze. She was standing before him in a long sleeve, button down nightgown, with the top few buttons undone. The hem fell just above her knees, and he noticed she had put on fluffy oversized wool socks. The inky black material looked heavy, but it moved easily against her body. A large orange pumpkin was painted over the chest and in cursive, scrawled text read 'Happy Halloween'. Under her arm was another set of clothes neatly folded and she glanced down to her feet when she noticed him staring.
"Yeah… I know Halloween is several weeks away but might as well get use out of it while I can." She picked at imaginary fuzzy along her stomach and tried to quiet the burn on her cheeks, "Here. I brought you a change of clothes. You need to get out of those soaking wet garments. I can dry them for you, and then you can head out… If you want to." She removed the pair of flannel pajama pants and long-sleeved shirt from under her arm and held them out for him to take.
"Sure. Um…" He turned away from the roaring fire to stare at the clothes she held out to him.
"Sorry! I uh… I'll wait in the kitchen while you change. There is a pair of socks too. Just um. Wad up your wet stuff and I'll get a load of laundry going for you." She placed the folded clothing down on the coffee table and ran her fingers through her wet hair, "I can find something for us to drink while you change too…" Her eyes landed on his toned muscles that stretched beneath his soaked sweater and she realized he had taken his jacket off. Her lips felt dry all of a sudden and she licked them to remove the unpleasant feeling.
She awkwardly shifted her weight from foot to foot before ducking her head down and made a beeline to the back of the house and where the kitchen was located. She stopped once a weird, but not completely unwarranted thought crossed her mind, "Hey Niko…"
Niko had just hauled his wet sweater and under shirt over his head when her words reached him. He dropped the wet clothes to the hearth of the fireplace and looked to where she had disappeared to, "Yeah?"
"Uh…" Kate's eyes widened at the sight of him shirtless. The fire danced along his skin and gleamed off the rivets of water that dripped between the creases of his muscles. Heat rapidly returned to her chilled body, and she felt the sudden urge to fan herself. His eyes looked impossibly darker in the flickering light and all she could think was a solid 'hot damn…'
"Did you need to tell me something?" He smirked at the way she fidgeted under his gaze.
"If you um… If you have any weapons on you. It's okay. Just uhhh… Put them out of sight in case Ma comes down for some strange reason. While I'm sure she is used to seeing what the boys drag into the house, I don't want her to think any differently about you. She likes you a lot and yeah… I'm sorry. I'm going to go find those drinks now…" She spun on her heel and retreated to the safety of the kitchen. Her heart was pounding away in her chest and her legs shook beneath her. How was she supposed to carry on any conversation now that she knew what was below his clothes…?
He would've laughed had it been in any other situation. She was clearly flustered now, and he shook his head to dispel the thoughts from turning into anything more than safe flirting. How had his evening gone from utter disarray to sitting on the floor, halfway dressed, in the McReary household with Kate in the kitchen looking for something for them to drink? Feeling the dampness of his jeans forced him to focus on getting up and changing clothes. He placed the pistol and his retractable knife down on the coffee table. Quickly he shed off the wet jeans and socks before pausing… His boxers were incredibly uncomfortable and cold.
He highly doubted she had a pair of boxers laying around for him…
Now he was in a situation he wasn't prepared for. His eyes landed on the folded clothing and prayed that the pants were at least thick. Not that he minded forgoing the boxers, but he didn't exactly trust himself to not react if she touched him again. She hadn't exactly changed into anything even resembling her usual clothing choice. He cursed under his breath and dropped his boxers to the ground. Quickly he jerked the soft, flannel pants up his legs and pulled the draw string tight around his hips. He shoved his arms into the sleeves of the shirt and tugged it down over him. They were warm and comfortable, and a complete change to what he was feeling.
He sank back down in front of the fireplace and was in the middle of putting on the wool socks she brought him when he heard her timidly clear her throat. He looked up from his foot toward the darkened room that separated the living space from the kitchen. He could barely see her form shuffling toward him and he snorted at her antics. He most certainly wasn't embarrassed to be caught with his pants down so to speak, but he knew she wasn't completely comfortable with certain… topics.
"Are you decent? Well, I mean. You always are- just. Ugh!" She groaned out quietly, "Are you dressed?" She had practically hissed the words out and the chuckle couldn't be held back any longer from him.
"I am clothed." He used one of the fireplace tools to jab a log on the metal rack and the fire crackled at the movement. He was warming up rapidly in front of the flames and he sighed at the comfort it provided him. He didn't want to admit it, but he was extremely miserable and cold outside in the storm.
"Okay." Kate hesitantly edged into the room and darted her eyes to the fire before slowly traveling up his arm that was covered by the matching Halloween pajamas, she had grabbed for him. "I can take your wet clothes now. Get them going in the wash. I'm sure you'd like to…" Her voice trailed off the longer she stared at his face. He looked so calm and at peace that she wasn't sure she was seeing what she was seeing.
"Here." Niko clumped up his clothes and held them out for her. He watched as she moved into the room and took hold of his clothes. Their eyes met and he could see the millions of questions swirling around in hers. They had so much to discuss and figure out, but he was growing tired and didn't want to open a bunch of old wounds and fears tonight. He just wanted to share her company and find his center before having to head back out into the world.
"Thanks." Kate whispered as she took hold of his clothes and headed back into the kitchen where the washer and dryer were. She would get a quick wash cycle going to remove any dirt, then transfer them over to the dryer for him. She should feel awkward and weird about doing his laundry, but she basically washed all of Packie's stuff that it felt like just another day in her life… Except it wasn't her brother's stuff. It was Niko's. And her mouth dropped as she found his boxers in the pile of clothing.
Niko heard the metal hinges of one of the laundry machines from the kitchen and adjusted himself on the floor to wait for her return. He could hear her muffled footfalls as she moved about the kitchen and room next to him. It didn't sound like pacing, so maybe she hadn't freaked out too bad about his boxers. Honestly, they were grown adults. But she wasn't as exposed to the more intimate side of relationships and living with someone other than family. So he wouldn't blame her for having a moment to need to compose herself.
A thick, heavy blanket was dropped on the floor behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder to see what she had dragged into the room. It was huge, bulky, and looked to be stuffed with feathers. He lifted his eyebrow and watched as she plopped down next to him in front of the fire. Carefully she pulled the fabric around them and lifted one of the sides to drape over his back to his opposite shoulder. She then tugged her own side over her body and nuzzled the faded white cloud of a blanket.
"Derrick used to fight me for this comforter. I think he always let me win. But it's my absolute favorite and cheers me up when I need to think through things. Hopefully, it will do the same for you." She smiled at the fire as it popped loudly, "And if that's not your style, I have whiskey. Apparently, I've used the last of the coco mix." She lifted a small, unopened bottle of amber looking liquid and placed it down between them, "Couldn't get the damn thing open. Shouldn't have cut my nails recently."
"That's what knives are for." Niko lowered the blanket off of him and leaned over toward her, reaching out behind her to grab his knife off the coffee table. She turned toward him to see what he was doing, and their noses brushed each other. He immediately stopped going for his knife and focused on her eyes. They were absolutely still, afraid to move in the slightest. Each breath was felt between them, and she bit her lip the way he liked.
"You have the most expressive eyes Niko." Kate whispered as she studied him in the close proximity, "I could… I could always tell when things weren't right with you by simply meeting your gaze." She dropped her eyes to his lips and back up again. Her body was trembling for an entirely different reason now than the cold and she fisted her hands into the fabric of her nightgown over her lap.
"What do they tell you now?" Niko moved his arm back from being extended in the direction of the coffee table and lightly ran the tips of his fingers over her spine, to cup her cheek. He dropped his guard completely and let her see everything he was feeling. Anguish over his failure, yearning to find someone to take his pain away, his tiredness of continually going on when he just wanted to collapse, and the need to figure out what it was that pulled him toward her.
"I-I'm…" She swallowed thickly and fought the urge to lean into his touch. His hands were incredibly firm and strong, and it twisted her insides up into tightly wound knots. Carefully, as to not break the spell between them, she lifted her far hand up to drift her index finger over his scar that ran through his eyebrow. She had always wanted to do that since the moment she discovered it. His eyes were so intensely locked with her own that she knew it was now or never. They had always circled back to this point but were never brave enough to cross it.
"I believe you are deeply sad over something. I do not know what. You have weathered storm after storm, and it has made you tougher, but maybe colder too. God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to our lives. And while I may not entirely practice the faith I grew up in anymore, I do believe that we can find happiness in the life we are given. Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them. Niko, I think it's time to face our problems head on." She felt the tear tumble over her cheek, and she lowered her hand to hold his cheek, "I can help you, if you want me to. You don't need to suffer on your own."
"Do you remember me telling you about how there was one thing in life that motivated me? How it drove me day in and day out?" He flicked his eyes back and forth between hers. He wasn't used to speaking about things in his life. But they had spent so many nights having deeper, meaningful conversations in the dark interior of different vehicles. Maybe it was time to let her know exactly what was bothering him instead of being aloof about it.
"I do. I also remember telling you that life can be simple if you let it. It can hold a different meaning. But that conversation ended on a rather sad note. You said something along the lines of people wanting things because it will make us whole. That there is a void that is unfillable." She dropped her hand to his knee and firmly held on to him. This was the heavy subject they had avoided for so long.
"I have found the person responsible for all the messed-up things in my life. I confronted him with Roman hours ago. Kate… My past is not good. It is dark, scary, ugly, and not something I wanted to share with you because it will surely turn you away from me." He lowered his eyes to her lap and tilted her head down to rest his forehead against hers. Here he was at the edge of the cliff between safety and the unknown.
Kate placed her hands against his cheeks and lifted him back up to meet her eyes, "Niko. You've told me stories here and there. And while it only makes me feel horrible for what you've been through- I have never wanted to turn away from you. It pulls me in. You will eventually have to forgive yourself for the past. And while forgiveness can't change what happened, it can enlarge the future." She caressed over his scruff and tried to muster a smile for him. From what research she had done in her spare time about Yugoslavian wars, nothing looked very bright or optimistic.
"There was a man who betrayed the military unit I was assigned to. We were all friends from the same village. Grew up together. He- He sold us all out for a thousand dollars. I survived the ambush. And as I dug through the mass grave to identify the bodies of my friends, I discovered two were missing. Florian and Darko. For a decade I searched for the other two men. To get revenge for what had happened to me… to my friends. I learned that Florian was here in Liberty City. I came here with the intention of killing them. But Florian is a changed man. And not who had betrayed us all. That meant Darko was still out in the world…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't want to see her devastation as he explained himself.
"I made deals with certain people- traded work for having Darko brought to me. He was smuggled into the country and dropped at the airport. Set up for slaughter. And yet… I couldn't do it. He was a diseased, traitorous, drug addict. And I couldn't exact my revenge. He was right there. Begging me to kill him… and I…"
"Oh Niko… It's okay." Kate pulled him toward her and let him rest his face against her shoulder, "You spent so much energy and time seeking revenge. To want justice is a good and noble thing, to seek revenge out of hatred is something that will devour your soul… You must be suffering so much. But maybe you can still get your revenge so to speak. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. To no longer give this person power over your pain." She ran her fingers through his short hair and tried to sooth him with her words. She wasn't sure if what she was saying was working or even the right things to say. He had given ten years of his life to exacting revenge. It wasn't something someone could get over in a couple of hours.
If only her therapist could see her now. Using the tools and guided wisdom to help someone else…
"I just. I looked at him, and all I could see was the faces of all my dead friends. If I killed him, it would be no different. He would be dead like the rest of them. You are right that the revenge I wanted would not close this part of my life. I realize that there was no closure to be had by ending his pathetic excuse of a life." He rested his hands on her sides and took a deep breath. He had gotten through the one major problem in his life. And so far, she hadn't gone stiff in his hands or pulled away.
"And that is why you needed to be alone?" She leaned her head against his and prayed that he would be able to navigate his way out of the pain he was feeling. While she was willing to help him in whatever way she could, she had no idea where to start, what to say, or what to do.
"Yes. I dropped Roman off at Brucie's apartment and turned my phone off. You're spot in Meadow's Park is a good place to think." He left out the phone call with Jimmy and the meeting that took place at the strip club. He would get to that later. But right now, he was feeling more at peace with his decision to let Darko suffer alive, than killing him and putting an end to his miserable life.
"It is my favorite place. I go there when things get too complicated or painful. Of course, I tend to avoid the storms." She teased him lightly and turned toward the kitchen when the washer beeped signaling its cycle was done. "Let me go move your clothes to the dryer. I'll be right back, okay?"
"Okay." He lifted himself from her embrace and leaned forward to place a kiss to her cheek in thanks. She had listened and didn't scold him or judge him. It had gone about as good as it could have, and he was grateful for it. His lips lingered for maybe a second too long before he shifted back from her. He watched her swallow timidly and she tucked her hair behind her ears several times. It was her tell when she was nervous or unsure about something.
"I…? I'll be right back. Maybe you can open that bottle now?" She moved around in her position and tried to stand up as gracefully as she could without flashing him in the nightgown. She felt his hand steady her waist and her entire body flushed hot with his touch. If they had managed to get through all the heavy talks, then she needed to get them talking about what she was feeling and wanting. Their touching, looks, teasing… It bordered on something so much more and she was tired of denying herself the finer things in life. She dragged her fingers over his hand and smiled down at him before heading off to the kitchen to move his clothes over to the dryer.
He had seen that look so many times when they would be out drinking or trying to decide how to say goodnight at the end of their hangouts. It had evolved from simple eye contact to entire conversations held via prolonged looks. He reached over and grabbed this knife off the table and went to work on cutting the plastic wrapper off the neck of the bottle. Maybe he needed to push her over the edge to confront him on it? He glanced up as she reentered the room.
"Are you always armed when we hang out?" Kate eyed the pistol on the coffee table as she lowered back down to her spot on the floor in front of the fireplace. She picked up the edge of the comforter and tugged it back over her body as a chill had descended down into her body from the cold tiled floor of the kitchen.
"Would it bother you if I said yes?" He focused on peeling the plastic off the bottle to give her a chance to answer his question.
"It would have had this been on our first time going out. But after the funeral… I always hoped you had some kind of weapon on you. I didn't feel safe leaving the house. Packie kind of explained… The Albanian's are still rather pissed off at Gerry. I don't head into Bohan or go down to Hove Beach anymore. And I'm glad you only took me down to Comrade's bar once. And that was before the funeral. You must have known…" She rubbed at her neck and studied the fire intensely.
"I would never put you in danger knowingly. And I would never let any harm come your way." Niko placed the wrapper down on the hearth and closed the knife. It worried him that she didn't feel safe leaving the house. Just how badly did the attack at the church shake her?
"I. I know. But you aren't always around me. I still go to work. I go grocery shopping. I've limited my time away from home to basically necessity and spending time with you. I never, and it's stupid really, I never once thought what my brothers do would somehow put me in danger." She held her hand out for the bottle and took it once it brushed against her fingers. Without even looking she popped the cork out and took a hefty gulp of the whiskey.
"I'm sorry you don't feel safe. I can keep a closer eye on things. Make sure no one is looking your direction?" Niko took the offered bottle from her and downed his own gulp. He hated the taste but didn't mind the outcome. All alcohol left him feeling warm, relaxed, and rather bold.
"Niko. I'm not your responsibility. It would surely burden you to keep watch over the house just so I could sleep peacefully for once." She scoffed before going completely still. She hadn't meant to let him know about how little sleep she had been getting since the shootout. Every time she would close her eyes, the men would overtake Niko and her brother and come charging into the church to kill her and her Ma.
"How long?" Niko watched her closely. His anger toward the Albanians only grew the longer she refused to meet his eyes or answer him, "Kate how long have you been having nightmares?"
Kate deflated in on herself, pulling the blanket tightly around her shoulders to hide her shame from him, "Since the attack." All she could do was whisper her words. She didn't want Niko blaming himself for the horrible images that her mind created. He had been swift in his protection of her and her family. He had been skilled, determined, and well… ruthless.
"You could have told me… I could've helped." Niko placed the bottle down out of the way and scooted closer to her, so their knees touched.
"You have helped. More than you know." She wiped away the tears that wanted to form along her eyelashes. She angrily stared at the flames that danced in the fireplace, "The nights we spent out later than normal; Where I got inside the house past Ma's bedtime- I always managed to get some sleep. Granted I know alcohol isn't the answer, but on those nights specifically all I could dream about…" She stopped herself again and lifted her knees up to her chest in order to bury her face from his view.
"What?" Niko hesitated before sliding his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side to rest more comfortably. He had an idea on what she wanted to say but would let her work through it all and be the one to tell him.
"I could only dream about you keeping me safe. You'd keep them away from breaking down the church doors and forcing me to watch as they kill my Ma and then me." She turned into his body and buried her face in the crook of his neck. It blocked out her vision and she breathed in his scent. The images wanted to start up with her talking about it and she grabbed the soft nightshirt over his side.
"They will never get the opportunity to harm you." Niko adjusted his body to hers and held her close. He hadn't known how much she had seen or witnessed that day. He had only been concerned with killing everyone who shot at him and Packie. He was terrified that a stray bullet was going to hit her, and he'd lose her before he ever got the chance to be with her. And now she faced the same battle every single night. It was one of the reasons he stayed distant for so long. He carried a target on his back, and he didn't want her to be caught in the crossfire.
"I know it's stupid to be scared of. But I've never been so close to anything like that." She shook at the image of having a gun pressed to her forehead.
"It's not stupid. Kate, look at me." Niko nudged her with his shoulder and waited for her eyes to meet his. She lifted up from her place against him and kept her eyes focused on his neck and shoulder. He could tell that was becoming her new spot to rest and he wondered how long it would take before she started making excuses to hug him in order to rest there.
He slid his hand along her cheek and back into her wildly curling hair that had been drying before the fire. It was the first time he was getting to see it in its natural form and not pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her hair was delicate and soft, and he wanted to comb his fingers through it. Her eyes lifted to meet his with his touch and he firmed his hold on her, "Kate, I promise you- No one will ever hurt you so long as I'm alive."
His intensity and directness kept her in place. He looked beyond serious, and she briefly thought what it would be like to have him direct that heat to her body. If he would study her with his sharp eyes and find all her sensitive places. If he would keep her from squirming around and hold her where he wanted her. There was a draft in the house, and it worked its way to her exposed legs, forcing her to turn fully in his grasp to face him.
"How can you make such a promise?" She whispered against the weight that was pressing against her chest. There was so much she wanted to just ask him. Why would he go through so much trouble for her if all they were was good friends? His promise of protection sounded more like a declaration between lovers.
"I am tying up loose ends in this city. Finishing everything in order to live my own life. I want to move on and be a better man, start living my life right. And if I'm no longer doing dangerous things, then I can spend spare time with my friends and… If you need protecting, I can do that." Niko trailed his thumb along her jaw line softly. He knew more about protection and killing than anything else in the world. He knew what to look out for when entering a new environment, had been beyond vigilant since coming to Liberty City. The only times he had been ambushed were because he thought he was in the clear.
"Do you think the people you work for will just let you leave? I thought that when you do the work that you do, that people get their hooks into you. And then there's no way out." She wanted to believe him. That he was going to get on the right track and give up the death wish, thieving, murdering, and drug dealing. That there was a possibility that they could have a normal relationship…
"They will not have a choice. I was good once; I was a normal kid who got sucked into a war he didn't believe in and forced to watch his friends die. Forced to do things he did not want to do in order to survive. If I can get pulled into this world, I can pull myself out. I have tried to make the right choices, to surround myself with good people rather than bad ones. Good people like you. That has to count for something." He glanced at the fire as the log broke down and fell apart in the grate.
"Niko… Has Roman been hurt by the things you've done here in Liberty? Has any of my brothers brushed with death on the crazy plans they cook up with you? Have any of your friends been hurt by your line of work? I need to know… I need to know if we continue to get close, that these people won't turn on you and start targeting… me." Kate lowered her eyes to her lap and let the one doubt and fear out she held when it came to Niko. She had gone and let her heart anchor itself to him, but just how much suffering was headed her way if they made the choice to pursue their desires?
His hand dropped away from her. She had pretty much hit the nail on the head. Roman's apartment and cab business was burned down to the ground because of him. Roman was kidnapped because of him- beaten up and even shot. Little Jacob had covered his back when confronting Dimitri and was eventually sucked into a job with the mysterious man at ULP. Even Michelle had threatened to throw his friends in prison if he didn't work for the secret government agency she worked for.
Michael had been killed during the bank robbery. Packie had been put in more hostile and dangerous situations while alongside him. Gerry had tasked him with kidnapping a young woman. Something he wasn't entirely comfortable with. He impersonated an Albanian grunt in order to stir up trouble and in doing so had angered rather powerful forces in Liberty.
And not to mention he had killed Derrick on the order of Francis.
The funeral was then ambushed because of his work with Gerry.
Her brothers may not be in trouble or in danger because of him, but they were definitely on the fast track to an early grave and or prison. He could only do so much to help them out. It would ultimately be up to them to save their own lives. She did have a point though. People he was close to either felt the direct effects of his work or were hurt by the cause of it. Roman wasn't completely safe. Not till Dimitri was killed. Not till Ray Bulgarin was resting at the bottom of the ocean.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized his list of enemies wasn't as short as it should be. Going against Jimmy was bound to make him an enemy. Killing Dimitri would put a stop to him, but he wasn't sure who all would retaliate against him for the boss' death. Ray Bulgarin had far reach and power. He would be more complicated to get rid of. And if he wasn't careful, he was going to land back on the FIB watch list for pissing off his ULP contact.
Kate was right in her assumption. People were hurt by being close to him. And if these dangerous people got wind that he was romantically involved with someone, it would most certainly put her in danger. It was like the fire in front of them. While it provided warmth and comfort, it was also capable of destruction, pain, and death. She could only get so close before he hurt her…
"Roman has been hurt. He lost a lot because of me. Your brothers have chosen paths of their own, and while I do sometimes join them on these jobs, they are responsible for their actions. I have never asked them to do work for me or for those that I work for. And while most of the people who would have retaliated against me are either dead or behind bars, there are still a couple that I don't trust." It was as close to honest as he wanted to get. He picked up the open bottle of whiskey and took another large drink.
"But Roman is still here and still loves you. Packie talks about you all the time. He looks up to you. And it sounds like your friends haven't left your side either through all this. Since the funeral I've realized that I'm not entirely untouchable because of the trouble my brothers are in. They mean well, I'm sure. But you are actively trying to be free… right?" Kate shuffled around on the floor and leaned into his arm, taking the bottle from him to take her own sip.
"I am. But you would be in the spotlight if we started to actually date or…" Niko glanced down to the top of her head as she rubbed her cheek against him.
"Am I the only female you spend time with?" Kate lifted the bottle back to her lips and took a slow sip of the amber liquid. If someone had spotted them out in public, it wouldn't be too hard to make large assumptions. Her last name was recognized all over the city. Her red hair was a giveaway. And Niko surely had his own list of enemies that wanted to do him harm. If Niko was truly concerned about her, wouldn't he have stopped taking her out?
"You are…" Niko had to think back on his time in Liberty. Michelle had mostly kept their time to her apartment or a set number of venues. He was still bitter about not picking up her 'cop' vibe. Every time he thought back on their time together, she acted weird, questioned him about the most bizarre topics, and was clearly fishing for info. He had missed all the signs, even as they were as obvious as the new apartment and furniture.
But he hadn't been one on one with a female since. Kate had been the only one he had driven around town and spent evenings out with.
"Then would it be too far forward to say that I could already be in danger?" She grabbed his hand as he tried to shift away from her, "Don't do that. I'm not accusing you of anything. Nor am I blaming you. I've wanted this to last. Granted I probably could have done a better job at contacting you first. The entire week after the funeral I wanted to call you. But I was… I wouldn't have been the best company."
"Are you not angry? You have every right to be. I've possibly put you in danger." Her hand only gripped his harder with his words and he placed his free hand down over hers to ease the tension.
"You just said you wouldn't let anything happen to me. Is that not true?" She looked up at him needing to know that his promise was still just that, a promise. That he wouldn't let these people come for her. That she could sleep at night knowing that she was safe from harm.
"I would kill anyone that dared to hurt a hair on your head." The thought of Ray having her forced into his human trafficking ring, or Dimitri kidnapping her like he had done to Roman, of Jimmy sending his goons over to Dukes to shoot up the house, or any other idiot he came across doing harm to her boiled his blood. He had always felt protective of her. But knowing that any of his enemies might want to target her was difficult to ignore.
"Then why are you keeping me at a distance?" She lifted her eyebrow with her question. There. She had finally laid out the one thing she wanted to know more than anything. Why was he treading so lightly around her and being distant? If the past week or so had taught her anything, it was that he was pulling away from her. Then Roman called her to invite her to the wedding. He had babbled on and on about how much Niko liked her and wanted her to attend. If that was the case, then why wasn't he acting on those feelings?
"Because if you were hurt because of me, I couldn't live with myself. I wouldn't be able to tell your mother or brothers that you were killed by someone after me." He stared into her eyes. It was the raw truth behind everything. There would be no forgiveness from her family if she was killed because of him. Gerry would surely break out of prison to hunt him down.
"This isn't just one-sided, Niko. How do you think I would feel if Roman called me tonight saying you were dead? After all the time we've spent together, getting to know one another, getting to have moments of freedom from our own lives together… I heard his worry tonight. And yes, I probably overreacted. But I nearly lost it thinking you were in danger. My heart breaks every time I imagine what could have been." She placed the bottle back down on the hearth and wrapped her arms around his middle. She tried to even out her breathing and pull it all back in. She had almost had a full-blown panic attack after Roman got off the phone with her.
"I am… Important to you?" Niko returned the hug and stroked over her back as the blanket had slipped off of her body. He was stunned into silence over her words. He never imagined he would mean that much to someone. Didn't want to get his hopes up of having someone love him in the way he wanted. He was a hitman for organized crime syndicates. His life had ended when his friends had been butchered on a hillside in his homeland. He is a one-man crime wave who kills indiscriminately since stepping foot in Liberty City… But deep down inside he just wanted to be loved.
Or killed. Whichever came first.
"Don't be stupid. You are very important to me. You don't give yourself enough credit or self-worth. I know you are capable of so much more. You have so much to give. Under all this hardness and coldness is someone yearning for a different life." Kate leaned more into his body and sighed heavily. Her fingers brushed over the soft fabric of the pajamas she let him borrow. Well. Derrick's old set that he never wore. But she liked the way they fit on Niko, and she cuddled down in his arms wanting to just get comfortable with him.
Niko wanted to pull her up into his lap so he could hold her better. Her words were ones he didn't think he was worthy of. He wanted to kiss her for giving him validation in his life. But he still was who he was. He still had more people to kill and dispose of. He still had one or two more dangerous jobs to complete. She was correct in that he wanted to live a very different life… Maybe one where he could settle down and indulge in things he didn't think were possible.
"Perhaps a life with you in it?" He said the words so softly he wasn't sure if she heard him over the crackling of the fire.
"If you want me in your life." She untucked herself from his body and turned his face to hers, "I only ask that you allow yourself to understand your worth. You mean something to me. I get excited every time you call me up. Yes, I understand the unseen threats that could potentially be there. I'm willing to take the chance on the possibility that you can walk away from the craziness. You are good. No matter what you say or how much you put yourself down. There is a real, humble, caring human being under this rough exterior you show the world." She hesitantly placed her hand closest to him over his heart.
Niko gently took her hand she had used to turn him in her direction and lifted it to his mouth. He placed a tender kiss to her palm, keeping his eyes locked on hers, "You won't regret this, Kate. I'll look after you. I'll protect you. I will do what I can to make you happy."
"I need you to be happy first. I want to help you find peace. This life you lead can change. You just have to want it." Kate smiled at him, silently praying that things were finally working out for them. He had been through so much in his life and he deserved a legitimate break. Their time away from everyone else had granted her a small glimpse into what life could be, and maybe he saw it in the same way she did.
"I am happy when I am with you." He lowered her hand to her lap and reached out to cup her face between his hands, tucking her hair away from her beautiful eyes. He kept up a slow pace of caressing her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, "Are you happy?"
"I am now. I am when we are alone and lost in our own little world." She could feel his heartbeat pick up under her hand that rested against his chest. The heat from the fire was nothing compared to the warmth that was surging through her body the longer he held her still. His expression never wavered from the reverence he sent her way, and she bit her lip anxiously. Was he going to kiss her? Was this going to be their moment?
"Then get lost with me…" Niko leaned forward and watched her carefully for signs of distress. He wasn't sure what her comfort level was when it came to touch or physical interactions. She had told him vaguely a couple of times that she had never been on a real date or had a past relationship. Did that mean she had never kissed someone?
"Escape to our own existence? Even if it's just for a moment?" She whispered lowly and licked her lips in anticipation. This was really going to happen- sitting on the floor of her living room, roaring fire as the backdrop, soft comforter bunched around their hips and legs, Niko's caring touch and smoldering eyes. Her mind kept chanting yes, yes, yes…
"More than just a moment…" He tilted her head slightly and kept an impossibly small distance between their lips, "But only if you want to."
"Promise me you won't leave when the moment is over." She could feel the heat from his breath against her chin and face. Her fingers bunched in his shirt over his heart to keep him still and from moving away from her. She would wait for his confirmation before surrendering to him.
"I won't leave." Niko spoke the words against her lips before placing them soundly against her soft, damp lips. Her eyes slid closed at his kiss, and he mirrored her. He moved his lips over hers slowly and tested the waters. If she had never been kissed before then she wouldn't know what to do or how to respond. He could feel her hand trembling against his chest as she moved it upwards to rest on the back of his neck.
She put all her focus on what his lips were doing and tried to memorize the feelings. While she had never kissed someone in her entire life, besides the cheek or forehead, there was an entire bookshelf in her bedroom of romance novels that gave plenty of visual, descriptive depictions on kissing. And she was ready to put that knowledge to the test. Her body felt like it was being tightly wound up on the inside. Everything felt exceedingly sensitive, and she gasped when he drifted his hands down to her shoulders.
He used her gasp to prod her mouth with his tongue. Which she gladly opened for him, and he tasted the whiskey they had sipped off of. He explored her mouth, challenging the boundaries, and setting the pace for them both. He held her shoulders and kept up a steady movement of stroking over the thin column of her neck, down into the hallow of her throat. Her skin was impossibly smooth and supple under his fingers.
A tightness formed in her throat at the way he touched her and continued to kiss her senseless. Her air supply was running low, and her head spun at all the new sensations he was producing in her. She matched his enthusiasm and dipped her fingers into the collar of his shirt wanting to feel the defined muscles she had seen earlier. His skin felt incredibly warm under the pads of her fingers.
He slid his hands down over her shoulders to her back and pulled her in closer, "Kate." He broke off for air and rested his forehead to hers, gasping in air to slow down the urgency he felt building inside. She was getting him worked up with just the softest of touches and he needed to find his self-control again. She wasn't fighting him off like he assumed she would, and it caused his mind to spiral out of control.
"Niko." She ran her hands over his chest and shoulders. He was built in ways she wasn't expecting, and she couldn't imagine what kind of workout regimen he went through to maintain his physique. He was everything she had ever dreamed of, and she longed to keep exploring his body and see just what he was willing to do with her. Her body was tingling all over and she felt an urgent need to press her body to his.
He grabbed her hands in his own and removed them from his body. She was building him up and heading them toward something he wasn't sure they were ready for. Her mother was asleep upstairs, and they hadn't really confirmed what they were to one another. He respected her too much to just keep going without some kind of verbal acknowledgment from her.
"Kate I need to know what this means to us. What we are together?" Niko evened out his breathing but refused to leave his spot slightly bundled with her hands clasped in his own.
"I know where I would like it to go, but I fear you might disown the idea all together." Kate's heavy-lidded eyes glanced up to his handsome face and smiled softly, "You are the best accident that's ever happened in my life."
"And you were the best surprise to ever happen in my life. Come lets lay down by the fire till the dryer goes off." Niko gently guided her down and scooted it behind her, arm draped over her side to splay his fingers wide on her stomach. Kate didn't hesitate to cuddle back into him and let out a relaxing, content sigh. He was warm, but once the blanket arranged over their bodies, she felt the scorch from earlier return.
She snuggled in his embrace, watching the fire crackling away in its own dance, "If I am attending this wedding of your cousin's… Wouldn't it be right that I am your date and not just a plus on?" God she could only imagine how red her face was.
"I'd rather have you as my girlfriend, my forever, but most importantly my home."
He rolled her slightly under him and kissed her waiting lips. This would be the start of something new. Something to prove and provide for. It was a walk of life he wanted to cherish. Close calls make you live harder. And he had plenty of close calls as of late.
A heaviness grew in his chest the longer they continued to kiss. Something he had long forgotten to look for.
And unfamiliar sensation.
Love.
'You don't find love, it finds you.'
