AN: There are direct quotes from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Also because JK is hurting people, the book My Shadow is Purple by Scott Straut is a must read and is truer to how I see myself than anything I have ever read.
Chapter 3 - Slipping Through the Cracks
"Nearly time for bed, I think," said Mrs. Weasley with a yawn.
"Not just yet, Molly," said Sirius, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. "You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."
The atmosphere in the room changed with the rapidity Harry associated with the arrival of Dementors. Where seconds before it had been sleepily relaxed, it was now alert, even tense. A frisson had gone around the table at the mention of Voldemort's name. Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of wine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary.
"Has he gotten back his full power yet?" Harry asked immediately.
"No, Sirius," Mrs. Weasley snapped, "They're too young."
She was sitting bolt upright in her chair, her fists clenched on its arms, every trace of drowsiness gone.
"Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" asked Sirius. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for over two months. He's got the right to know what's been happen-"
"Hang on!" interrupted George loudly.
"How come Harry gets his questions answered?" said Fred angrily.
"We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!" said George.
"'You're too young, you're not in the Order,'" said Fred, in a high-pitched voice that sounded uncannily like his mother's. "Harry's not even of age!"
Well, Harry thought, as far as they knew he wasn't.
"It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing," said Sirius calmly, "that's your parents' decision. Harry, on the other hand -"
'"It's not down to you to decide what's good for Harry!" said Mrs. Weasley sharply. The expression on her normally kind face looked dangerous. "You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?"
Which is when Harry snapped, "Just tell me if he has regained his power or not I can guess the rest."
"He hasn't regained power, but the rumors of him coming back, of him being the one to kidnap you have shifted things," Sirius said.
"Haven't you been reading the papers, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"No."
"Well, they've been saying really awful things. Reeta Skeeter heard you tell Dumbledore 'Graveyard, Voldemort, Pettigrew, they both got away,' and now everyone thinks, well that you'r-"
"You're mad," Ron supplied, "Like a lunatic."
"Well not everyone thinks so but according to the papers," Hermione added.
"But some of the Death Eaters and Voldemort's lesser followers have begun to move. And so have we, that is the Order and Dumbledore. Even if he isn't at full strength yet he still has resources, beyond Wormtail."
"But what can he do?" Hermione asked. "What does he want if he isn't just trying to come back to life?"
"He's after something," Sirius said, "Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."
Harry's couldn't keep the look of despair off his face, "It is in the Department of Mysteries, and you shouldn't bother with it. The damage has already been done."
Sirius sat forward, surprise and worry warring on his face, "How can you possibly know what it is?"
The rest of the room was hushed. Even Mrs. Weasley, who had been trying to shoo her children out of the room, paused looking at Harry.
"It's nothing. It's why my parents were murdered, but it changes nothing now. You should just let him have it. Voldemort already wants me dead, so it's nothing, completely meaningless," Harry said as he stared at Sirius and remembered this beloved man falling into the Veil. Sirius had died for him, died so Harry could hunt Horcruxes and martyr himself later on.
Sirius reached out a hand and squeezed his shoulder in quiet comfort.
Harry sucked in a breath, realising that at some point he must have stopped breathing.
It was too much. It was everything he wanted, a chance at a family, to have Sirius back, but it was too much.
He turned his attention back to Mrs. Weasley, "Sirius has every right."
She blinked at him, "What, Harry dear?"
"Sirius has every right to make choices on my behalf, he's my godfather."
She scoffed, "Hardly. He can't take care of himself, much less a child."
It was an effort not to bear his teeth, "Yet he's done more for me than the Dursleys ever had and that was Dumbledore's stupid choice."
Mrs. Weasley drew herself up, "You were safe."
Harry pictured Vernon's hands around his throat, Aunt Petunia refusing him a cup of water after making him landscape in the full summer sun, and what Uncle Vernon did to him when the door was closed, when he was told to keep quiet as the monster lashed his back until he bled.
It was a miracle he had survived his childhood, and Sirius's very existence had ensured Harry's safety.
Sometimes, having a mass murderer as your magical dogfather was a boon.
Mrs. Weasley was still ranting at him and he had had enough.
"Mrs. Weasley, Ginny got possessed by Voldemort in her first year, Ron took on a whole nest of spiders, and Hermione survived looking into the eye of the basilisk. I killed a professor my first year, a basilisk my second year, fended of a horde of dementors my third, and won the Triwizard tournament that was rigged by a Death Eater last semester, but I'm sorry, we're all too young to hear about rumours of the Dark Lord returning. Did I get that right?"
Mrs. Weasley's jaw dropped as the room fell perfectly quiet.
Only for Ginny to break it with a, "I told you so! Nothing you say can possibly be worse than being possessed."
Mrs. Weasley shuddered but shook her head, "No, I know you lot. The more you know the more trouble you will get into."
Which was entirely untrue.
It was secrets that had gotten Harry into trouble, the mystery that Dumbledore perfectly laid out for him to follow.
As naive as a lamb to slaughter.
Harry remember the walk through the forest, the heavy anticipation of the Death Eaters eager for his defeat and humiliation.
Adults who liked nothing more than to hurt and kill children.
Harry stood abruptly, bolting from the room as he sidestepped Ginny who was standing in the doorway. He managed to get to the second floor bathroom, slamming the door behind him, in time for his stomach to reprocess his dinner into the toilet.
oOo
Sirius had run after Harry, Arthur stopping Molly from following.
"How could he know what it is?" Tonks asked. "We don't even know what it is."
The room's occupants exchanged glances. They were all thinking the same question, What had happened to Harry during the last task?
oOo
Sirius stopped just in time to spare his nose from being broken as the door was slammed shut in his face. He probably should have knocked but he doubted Harry could have heard over the sound of his own retching. Sirius shut the door behind himself and went to the floor on his knees so he could rub Harry's back.
He saved the boy's glasses in the knick of time, folding them into his own collar so they wouldn't risk a watery fate.
It was not long until Harry was dry heaving. Which was worrisome, was he eating enough?
Sirius flushed it down before he rose to return with a wet cloth he laid over the back of Harry's neck.
It took a bit longer for him to find his voice, each word choking over tears he seemed unwilling to shed. "It's my fault they're dead."
"No, Harry, no," Sirius said softly but with feeling. "Your parents loved you, you were their world. Only your death could have destroyed them."
oOo
We are so proud of you, You're so brave.
Harry heaved again, bringing more pain than relief.
"What's happened, Harry?" Sirius asked. "What's happened to you?"
Harry shook his head and stopped when the motion made the world spin.
"How did you know about the weapon?"
"It's the prophecy," Harry mumbled.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"It's the prophecy, the one that made my parents go into hiding," Harry said, looking up to confront Sirius's gaze.
Horror and understanding crossed his face, "Who told you? Dumbledore?"
"Voldemort, he showed, he was inside of my head, he showed me—" Harry broke off and grabbed a towel to wipe his sweaty face.
Sirius put a hand on Harry's cheek, "How did he show you?"
"He got inside my head, in my dreams, my nightmares. My scar hurt when he was angry or happy… He used me, he wanted me to get it for him."
Sirius pulled Harry into his arms, rubbing his back. "It's going to be okay, Harry, you're going to be alright."
Harry clung to his godfather, "Just don't die, Sirius, please, just don't die."
Sirius held him tighter, "I am not going to fail you again, son. I am not going to leave you again."
But he had, and wounds long pushed aside came tumbling forward. Harry didn't cry, yet Sirius stayed with him in the darkly lit bathroom for hours as Harry tried to work up the will to act 'normal.'
He wanted nothing more than to drop out of school and run away with Sirius, run away from Voldemort and the world he had tainted.
oOo
A few days later, there was another Order meeting. Harry had ardently refused to talk any more about the incident, even to Sirius.
Dumbledore began with, "Our top priority must be keeping the door to the room in the Dep-"
"Harry says we shouldn't bother with it," Sirius interrupted.
Albus whipped his attention toward Sirius, "What does Harry know of the Department of Mysteries? What did you tell him?"
"Nothing," Tonks said, ignoring the severity of the Headmaster's tone. "He told us what it was, or at least, he told Sirius what it was and he said it didn't matter. That it had already done its damage."
"Yes, and we should take Potter at his word about everything, I suppose," Severus said snidely.
"Snape," Sirius said seriously, waiting for the other man to make eye contact. "It's the Prophecy."
Severus's sallow face drained of all semblance of color, making him look wraithlike. He wet his lips before asking, "And how would Potter know about the Prophecy?"
"He said the Dark Lord showed him, that he broke into his mind, his nightmares, and showed him," Sirius said.
The entire room shifted uneasily.
"But that's impossible, Riddle doesn't know the full Prophecy, how could Harry?" Albus asked.
"More?" Severus asked. He looked like he was going to be sick. "More, of that accursed thing? What more could it possibly say?"
"It isn't relevant-" Albus soothed.
"The hell it isn't!" Sirius said, slamming his fist on the table. "Lily and James told me what you told them. But Lily thought you left something out, that your speech was too prepared, almost over-acted when you told them. What did you leave out? The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. What's missing? What are you asking us to risk our lives for when Harry seems convinced the only difference the Prophecy will make is ensuring Voldemort more obsessed with killing the Boy Who Lived?"
Albus looked furious, "Those words were not something I would have had you share."
Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Nymphadora, Remus, Kingsley, and Hestia looked horrified at the prophecy.
"What's missing?" Sirius demanded.
Albus sighed, and seeing the growing determination of those around him, he chose to answer him. "And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have the power the Dark Lord Knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives."
Minerva was close to tears. "Albus," she said sharply, "Harry cannot be the only way to defeat him. He's lost too much already, how can we ask this of him?"
"You told Lily and James this?" Remus asked. "You told her this when she was still pregnant? No wonder she was heartbroken. Why James was so on edge. They weren't just afraid of Voldemort because they were known Order members. Harry doesn't just have the power to kill him, he has to kill him or be killed by him." It was not a pleasant realisation.
oOo
What remained of Severus's heart clenched. The pain he had caused Lily even more than her death, he poisoned her last years alive. For not the first time Severus wished it had been him. Wished Albus had caught him at the door and struck him down. Wished James Potter hadn't saved his life and had let Lupin eat him. Wished anything could have changed that wouldn't have led to Lily suffering and dying.
"If Harry's mind has been infiltrated then he needs to learn to protect himself. Severus, you will teach the boy Occlumency."
Severus nodded numbly.
Minerva's temper, however, was visibly building. "You cannot pit the boy against the Dark Lord. I do not care what any prophecy says, enough of his life has been ruined by foolishness."
oOo
"At the rate things are going," Kingsley said in his deep voice. "Harry is his own greatest defense. We can't count on any of us being there when he needs help. We should reconsider withholding information from him. We should enable him to learn more about defensive magic and dueling."
"And then he will tell his friends-" Snape protested.
"Harry's not talking to his friends," Sirius said. "He's barely talking to me. Something has happened to him."
"Something aside from You-Know-Who invading his mind?" Arthur asked, sounding uncharacteristically harsh.
"Harry is still a child," Albus stated.
Sirius frowned at him, "If you mean he's human and can make mistakes then I would agree with you. But show me his childhood, explain to me how living with the Dursleys and getting killed almost every year at Hogwarts has somehow added to his immaturity. When I talk with him it isn't a child I am speaking with
"He isn't James, Sirius, no matter how much he might look like him," Mrs. Weasley said.
"I know that."
"Harry will be told what he needs to be told when the time comes," Albus said.
"And what about the things Harry might tell us?" Sirius asked. "He's beginning not to trust you old man. He gets agitated any time your name is brought up in conversation. What happens when Harry knows more than us and he chooses to leave you in the dark?"
"That will not happen," Albus said, self-assured. "Harry might be upset with me for the moment but he has always trusted me."
Sirius and Severus exchanged a look. They were two men who tended to despise one another for the other's weaknesses and screw ups, but they were also two men who had been left behind by Albus Dumbledore.
They trusted him now, not because their gut believed it, but because Albus was one of the only things standing between them and a prison sentence.
That fact, didn't precisely inspire confidence. But what could they say?
Albus always believed himself to be in the right and there was little anyone could do to change that.
At least, not before it was too late to change course.
However, if they had trusted Dumbledore as there secret keeper, Lily and James might be alive today.
oOo
Harry threw ten gallons into the fountain as he passed, making sure to hide it from Mr. Weasley. He wasn't certain if the man would be hurt by it, but he knew Ron would have been sullen for days.
Harry felt some reluctance handing the wand to the guard. Last time he was in the ministry, everyone had been out for his blood.
Much like last time, they ended up rushing to their new appointment.
But this time, the stands on his side were not empty.
Just as Flitwick had promised, he and McGonagall were in the stands behind him.
Albus appeared as his defendant just as he had the first time.
This time, however, Albus caught Harry's eye. Harry smiled at them. He caught Madame Bones's gaze, she winked at him and Harry had to suppress another grin.
As scary as this dungeon had been the first time around, Harry was now enjoying all of these adults playing house.
All their grandeur was mockery of their station as the majority were cowards who would crumble in a time of true need.
Madame Bones was prepared and took control of the courtroom at once. "We are all here today because certain members of this Ministry have a personal vendetta against Harry James Potter who has been accused of underaged magic. I would like to dismiss this case as I have confirmed that it was under ministry orders that two dementors were sent to Little Whinging, Surrey. I do not know yet who dispatched them, but I do know that Mr. Potter's use of a corporeal patronus to save his own life and soul as well as his cousin's, Dudley Dursley who Mr. Potter lives with and already knows of the existence of magic —is quite reasonable. I do have all the facts correct, don't I, Mr. Potter?"
"Yes, ma'am," Harry said.
The room was silent and Dumbledore looked, as seldom happened, caught off guard. He was standing beside Mrs. Figg who had not been called to the stand as a witness.
"It is just a story," Fudge said. "A made up–"
"I looked into it after Mr. Potter sent me a letter asking if he could sue us for sending dementors after him. As I have said, I have not discovered who sent them but I can confirm that the records show that they were sent. Is there anyone who doubts my word, my office?"
There was a long silence in which no one dared to go against Madame Bones.
She clapped her hands once, "Then we are in agreement, Harry J. Potter is cleared of all charges. Thank you, Mr. Potter, Headmaster Dumbledore, Professors Flitwick and McGonagall for your time, you may leave. The rest of you lot will stay to be interviewed about the dementor incident by my team of Aurors, Minister, if you would be so kind as to supervise, seeing as you seemed so concerned about this case. I will be in my office getting real work done."
Harry was grinning as he ran over to Flitwick and McGonagall. "Thanks for coming, Professors," Harry said warmly as they made their way to the door which several Aurors were entering through.
Albus followed behind them more sedately.
"Hi, Mrs. Figg," Harry greeted, as they emerged into the hall.
"Hi, Harry," she replied drifting to Albus's side.
"I cannot believe they were going to give you a full criminal hearing, for a minor," Flitwick said.
"It was amusing to see Madame Bones knock Fudge down a notch," McGonagall said, falling into step beside Harry.
"You sent Madame Bones a letter, Harry?" Albus asked from behind them.
"Yep," Harry said shortly.
Flitwick shot Albus a distinctively cold look.
"Filius is something the matter?" Albus asked.
"Not at all. The situation itself is simply outrageous," Filius answered.
"You didn't have to come, I was surprised to see you both in the stands," Dumbledore said. "How did you know when the hearing was? It wasn't in the papers."
"Harry gave me the date and Minerva and I chose to come early," Filius said.
"I was not aware the two of you were in correspondence."
"Harry switched electives," Minerva said. "Filius has been ensuring he can at least start with the fourth years in Arithmancy so he isn't two years behind."
Albus blinked, "Which class did you drop, Harry?"
"Divinations," Harry said. "I have no talent for it. Besides, Trelawny is more or less the reason my future has always been in the gutter."
"Professor," Albus corrected. "Prophets do not have a choice about their magic."
Harry shrugged and switched topics. "I really do like Arithmancy. The concept of wards is too cool. It reminds me of muggle maths."
"Do you miss muggle school?" Filius asked.
"Not in the slightest," Harry said.
Minerva's lips turned up at the corners, "Magic is excellent."
"And friends, and not having guardians who yell at you for getting better grades than their precious son," Harry said.
Minerva's mouth pinched and she glared at Albus, "I told you those muggles were foul. The worst sort of people."
Harry blinked, "You know the Dursleys?"
"I was there the night Albus insisted you stay with them. I argued against it."
"It was the safest op-"
Harry snorted. They had reached Mr. Weasley who was ready to take him back to Grimmauld Place. Harry turned to meet Albus's gaze, "You only care about my safety when it suits you." He turned to the others before the Headmaster respond and said, "Bye Professors, thanks again for being here."
Mr. Weasley waved to the three professors before leading Harry to the exit.
oOo
Minerva crossed her arms and glared at Albus.
He raised a brow at her.
"He isn't going back there this coming summer."
"The blo-"
"No," she cut him off, "I will take him in myself if Sirius still isn't cleared. But he isn't going back there."
"Harry didn't make the Dursleys sound too terrible," Filius said, gazing after Harry.
"No," Minerva said sadly. "Which means it's probably even worse than what little he does complain about them."
Albus ran a hand down his white beard, and it was harder than it should have been to shove down his compassion for the boy. Albus had always admired Harry but now something was changing, something in the lad, in the Order, in his staff. Albus was not sure he was ready for those changes.
oOo
AN: Thoughts, green sea turtles, or feedback, pretty please?
