Joe's pov
A few days later, my Tay's killers had been caught. Though she was not working on the case, due to it falling under the clause of family, therefore being a conflict of interest, Aunt Erin stayed by my side through every step of the trial, and I was eternally grateful. The details... I will never be able to forget everything she went through. I can't help but wonder if things would have been different if I had never left, but there's nothing down the road of 'what if'. I don't know if it made things worse or better that my Tay was brought to justice on the eve of what would have been her 25th birthday. Jojo, Dan, Em, Will and I were planning a way to celebrate her and her life, what she meant to each of us. It was going to be worthy of her, I would make sure of it. The night after the trial verdict of life in prison went without a hitch, without a single nightmare, to my relief and surprise.
The day of Tay's remembrance party finally came, and, honoring my kids' request, the day would be spent by us, no other Reagan in sight. Our family understood, of course, and simply hugged us the last time they saw us before our memorial day and told us they were a call or text away if we needed anything, and that they loved us. We, in turn, told them we loved them as well, and the kids spoke up, urged, of course by their ring leader, Emily
"Maybe next year you guys can come, but we wanted the first one to be just us with Daddy."
Hugging them again, Aunt Erin spoke for the rest of the Reagans
"Of course. Makes perfect sense, Rosie."
They had grown uniquely close, as the women in the Reagan clan were few and far between, and Rosie was a nickname stemming from her middle name Rose. The following morning, the morning of Tay's birthday, I woke up with the kids in my bed, not to my surprise or objection. They needed me, I needed them. We treated ourselves to a surprisingly delicious breakfast of Cheeto quesadillas, something Tay had always been obsessed with. Don't knock it until you try it, she had told me in high school. I never knocked them again.
We traded stories about her, watched some more of the video diaries she had, then I decided to do something I had not done since I last saw her alive. Going into my social media accounts, I showed our kids pictures of their parents throughout our relationship. School, trips, vacations, hangouts, prom night... Hundreds of thousands of videos and pictures. Tears were shed, and we also laughed til our sides hurt. When it came time for us to sleep, we felt closer to Tay than I had felt in a long time. But my peace would not last, as I was tormented by a dream in a reality where nothing bad ever happened to my Tay, and we were a family of six, raising our kids happily. I was still a Detective, but she had become a teacher like she had always wanted. I woke up with a start, tears flowing freely once I realized what the reality was, and what was pure desire for what would never be. Hugging our kids closer, I tried to steady my breathing and stop my tears, grateful for the fact they were heavy sleepers like their mother, so my nightmare had not woken them up. I recalled Uncle Danny's tentative advice from last week. Maybe I should reach out to Dr. Alex Dawson, or Doc as Uncle Danny called his therapist. I know grief is normal and healthy, especially since it has not been long at all, but I don't want to get out of hand and affect the kids in any sort of bad way... But, for now, I'm just gonna resort to begging sleep to give our tentative relationship another shot. Trying to better my chances, I turned on the video with Tay singing the lullaby she always used on our kids, and even on me back in the day. That trick did in fact work.
