Ch. 87 - Scars
On a small hill, palisades had been erected as soldiers rapidly dug ditches in front. Tents were being rapidly pitched after being grabbed from a caravan of carts that stood at the top of the hill, all lined in formation. Scouts and soldiers marched in patrols some distance away, keeping a lookout as others cut down trees from a nearby forest for any material necessary for the camp. With the overcast sky, the sunset wasn't visible. However, the sky was steadily darkening as the clouds above turned a deep shade of blue. Torches were starting to be lit, illuminating the area with dots of orange light.
Ritsu had to admit, while she had been on flights before back in the modern world, seeing the world from above on a hippogriff was a fantasy and a luxury she hadn't expected. Even if the stars weren't out, her eyes were glimmering with the light of the torches far below as the wind whipped her hair around. "This is amazing!" she cried – then yelped as she almost slipped and retightened her grip around Astolfo, who was sitting in front of her, holding the reins of the mythological creature.
The Rider grinned as he glanced over his shoulder. "Isn't it?" he replied cheerfully over the wind. "I'm glad I got summoned out here – Hippy doesn't get nearly enough free space to fly these days. Right, Hippy?" He patted the hippogriff on the side, who gave a happy chirp-roar (that was the only sound Ritsu could define it as) in response.
Their meeting in Massilia had gone extremely well. Ritsu had been overwhelmed by the Paladin's energy at first, but after getting over her initial surprise, they had become fast friends. Upon learning of the hippogriff, Ritsu knew she had to go for a ride (and she would've asked for the Pegasus as well, but she had a feeling that Medusa would be less receptive to the idea). Astolfo said yes, and since then Ritsu had been accompanying the Paladin every other patrol if there wasn't anything important to attend to.
"Glad you can fly him more often, then!" Ritsu agreed with a grin. She patted the hippogriff. "And thanks for letting me on as well, Hippy! You're the best!" she called out. The hippogriff let out another chirp-roar in response. Just seeing everything from up so high was honestly beyond amazing, and the wind flying by felt exhilarating. She loved every bit of this.
After everything that had occurred, she needed this bit of stress relief. The assault on Gaul, fretting over Ren at Massilia, and the whole deal with Loki… she was sure the whole affair shaved off at least a decade of her life. She loved thrills, but more controlled thrills like the ride with the hippogriff under the careful supervision of Astolfo were what she aimed for. The chaos of war and combat was beyond what she could easily handle or stomach.
And yet, she would have to. In the days ahead, there would be more she would need to deal with, and she knew it. But how does one prepare for war where she could die by a slight slip of misfortune? How does one prepare for their friends to perish as well? How does one prepare to see people die all around them as they're all just scrambling to survive, one way or another?
The image of the storeroom filled with countless boxes, packed with the belongings of those who were no longer with them, flashed in her mind. Her grip tightened around Astolfo. No way can anyone prepare for that. Not if they wanted to retain their sanity.
At least, no one normal could prepare.
"Hey, Astolfo?" she asked, her grip tightening on the Rider as the hippogriff slowly turned. "How do you prepare for war? All the stuff that happens there – fighting, death, what have you. The possibility of either you or everyone around you, friend or enemy, dying. How do you deal with it?"
Astolfo glanced back at her in surprise before putting a finger on his chin and rolling his eyes upward, contemplating an answer. Then he gave a broad grin. "I deal with what happens today the best I can!" he replied cheerfully. "And whatever happens after that, well, that's tomorrow's problem! I just gotta deal with today's problems – and if that means beating up whoever's causing it, then that's what I'm doing!"
Ritsu's mouth could only open slightly, flabbergasted at the answer. It certainly wasn't one she had been expecting. To focus on the present, dealing with the problem, and deal with the future when it comes to it? On paper, he wasn't wrong – it was what needed to be done after all – but it was far easier said than done. Especially with the ease the Rider had seemingly suggested… no. It wasn't an applicable solution to her, at least not for a very long time. There might come a day where may be precisely what she did.
And for some reason, that very thought terrified her.
"I see," she replied. That was the only answer she could give. Now the wind howling around her felt like nothing against her numbed senses. Astolfo gave another glance behind him, then yelled, "Hang on tight!"
The redhead blinked. "Wait, wha-?" Then she screamed in surprise as suddenly, the hippogriff tilted upward and rapidly rose – and kept tilting upward. Heaven and earth flipped over as its wings flapped hard, its muscles straining. Ritsu squealed as she clung onto Astolfo for dear life while the Rider laughed uproariously through the loop. At the apex of the loop, the mythological creature began diving straight down, faster and faster and faster as the ground rushed alarmingly fast toward them.
Ritsu's eyes widened as her grip tightened. "A-Astolfo?!" she screeched in a panic.
The Rider grinned and pulled hard on the reins. In response, the hippogriff rapidly pulled up, only a few feet above the ground as its wings and headwind churned the gravel underneath. Rising up, the hippogriff tucked its wings in and rolled in the air. This time, getting over her surprise, Ritsu whooped in delight. She always loved a good rollercoaster ride, and it didn't get much better than on a hippogriff.
A few more stunts later, Astolfo finally brought the hippogriff landing inside the now-finished camp, at a clearing made at the Rider's request. The Rider hopped off and stretched his muscles, none the worse for wear, then with a smile reached up with a hand to help Ritsu off the hippogriff – and caught her as the redhead almost collapsed, barely any strength in her legs. "Easy there," he advised with a chuckle. "Riding Hippy's fun, but it's straining for your first time."
"Yeah, I can tell," Ritsu replied with a shaky grin as she slowly got back on her feet, massaging her legs. Once she did, she could only beam at the Rider. "Thanks so much for that," she said gratefully before turning to the hippogriff. "You too, Hippy!" she chirped. "That was fun!"
The hippogriff chirp-roared once more, then took off into the air, dissolving into mana as Astolfo waved goodbye. "Well, now that our patrol is done, time to get some food!" he stated with a broad grin. "Wanna join me?"
Ritsu grinned but shook her head. "I should catch up to the other guys, see what's up," she declined. "But we gotta do that again. That was fun."
Astolfo nodded. "Indeed, we should!" he agreed wholeheartedly. "But until then, rest well! Au revoir!" With that, he pranced off, looking to grab some food for himself and whatever kind of entertainment he could find.
The redheaded Master watched as the pink-haired Rider left with a smile, then sighed. Squatting a bit, she stretched out her legs to alleviate the soreness from riding the hippogriff and began walking toward their section. She had been rather down as of late, with everything that had been happening. Destruction, death, fear… Wars existed in the modern world, of course, but it was all in the periphery. Something you watched on the news about or read up in books, to learn and be shocked or angry, or admire the heroes in them.
Living them, however, was a far different beast altogether. And she was woefully underprepared for it. But again, how could one really prepare for war?
A scent wafted through the air, catching Ritsu's nose. A spicy aroma, one that she was more familiar with. Picking up her pace, she quickly followed the scent, leading her closer and closer back to their group of tents. And there, at the campfire, Ren was attending to a small pot of curry as Mash carefully cut vegetables up on a small cutting board while crouching down. At her approach, both of them looked up and grinned. "Hey, Ritsu!" the Phantom Thief called out. "Good timing!"
"I gathered," Ritsu replied with a smile of her own. "Smells really good!"
"It's the curry packages we brought along with us," Mash explained. "We thought it would be a good time to use them as it would be difficult to have some without drawing unwanted attention once we reach the capital."
"And I got some fish!" Morgana cried as he ran up, holding up some catches as Tamamo Cat followed close behind him. "Sorry I was late; they weren't biting as much as I'd like."
"It happens," Ren reassured him. "Ritsu, can you work with Tama to cut the fish prepped? If you guys work quick, we should be able to add it to the curry for the best flavor."
Ritsu blinked, then nodded and turned to Tama. "Time to make this a rush job," she declared to the Servant.
Tama grinned as she pulled out a kitchen knife from the folds of her robe (no idea where she kept that) and held it up with a twirl. "Leave it to me, woof! I mean, meow!" she declared. Taking the fish off of Morgana, she grabbed a long, clean board that would serve as a cutting board and an elevated, relatively flat rock, and began working. "Skin the fish, would you?" she asked.
The redhead nodded, taking out the trench knife tucked in her belt, giving it a quick wipe, and began scraping off the scales. She had helped once or twice in the kitchen, so it wasn't too unfamiliar to her. Yet as she glanced over at Tama, she had easily worked at least thrice the speed of her, already filleting the fish despite her large paws. Blinking, Ritsu focused on her own work and tried to catch up.
Still, as they worked, Ritsu couldn't help but be curious about the Servant beside her, and eventually her curiosity overwhelmed her focus. "So, did you create a Servant contract with Morgana?" she asked casually.
Tama shook her head. "I didn't," she replied as she rapidly sliced a fish in half. "The thought never really came to me, nor did it to Master."
Ritsu blinked in surprise. "Then… why do you call him Master or follow him everywhere you do?" she asked in surprise. Normally, the only time a Servant addresses another person as a Master was, of course, if they were their Master. The fact that a Servant, even one as seemingly eccentric as Tamamo Cat, addressed Morgana as Master was rather unprecedented.
The Berserker stopped for a moment to contemplate, then she smiled in a small, mysterious manner as she deboned the fish. "It's just what I feel," she replied quietly. "Morgana is a man destined to support and follow in the shadows of people greater than he is, woof. I mean, meow. And he is quite content with that, even if it deprives him of some of his own happiness. And yet, throughout it all, he remains noble, confident, and capable, leading and directing where he can in support of everyone else."
She beamed at Ritsu. "What can be more gallant and captivating than that?" she inquired rhetorically. "At least, that's what I've observed so far. I'm still watching him and seeing if being his Servant, both literally and metaphorically, would be the best way to serve him! After all, I don't want to become another responsibility, woof! I mean, meow!"
The redhead's mouth worked as she tried to find an answer. She never saw Morgana that way, seeing the catlike being as a Phantom Thief and therefore just as awesome as Ren. But then, she didn't precisely know the full story, nor had she been able to work much beside him. After all, they only worked together for a bit before the campaign forced them all to split up. And now here was Tamamo Cat evaluating him so fully even in the short time they had met.
Before she could work up an answer, Tama spoke once more. "Would you like me to finish that?" she asked, pointing at Ritsu's fish.
Ritsu glanced down and noticed that she hadn't even finished deboning, lost as she was in contemplation, while Tama had a stack of cubed fish meat from the three fishes she had handled. She wrestled with her pride for a second, then smiled sheepishly. They couldn't hold up dinner. "Could you, please?" she asked. Tamamo Cat grinned, took it with her large paw, and began working once more, leaving Ritsu to observe her and ponder further.
"Why the heck did you call me here?"
Turning at the familiar cantankerous voice, she saw Joan stalking up, looking mildly annoyed. Already guessing what she had been called for, Ritsu grinned. "We thought you might wanna join us for dinner!" she replied cheerfully. A glance and a nod from Ren were all she needed to confirm her suspicions. "Not often we get to have curry out on the field, so we should treat ourselves! You've never had curry before, right? You usually stick to bread, cheese, and things like that."
Joan scowled. "They're enough for me," she muttered. "I don't need much else and…" She took a whiff and almost sneezed. "That's a bit too spicy for me, so thanks but no thanks."
"One dish," Ritsu immediately said. "Just try one dish. If you don't like it, I won't ever bother you about it ever again. Please? Just once?"
The Lancer turned around to see Ritsu, hands clasped together with wide eyes, in a clearly plaintive begging gesture. She looked up and saw both Ren, Mash, Morgana, and even Tamamo Cat staring at her. She worked her mouth desperately, trying to find some excuse to leave, then groaned in frustration. "You really aren't going to stop bugging me about this, aren't you?" she growled.
Ritsu immediately grinned wryly. "Guilty," she cheerfully admitted.
Joan opened her mouth to angrily retort when she was interrupted – by growling. From her stomach. The Lancer's face turned red in embarrassment as Ritsu's grin turned smug. "So, I take it you'll join us?" she asked mischievously.
Taking a deep breath, she held up a finger. "One dish," she growled. "That's all I promise."
"And that's all we ask for!" Ritsu happily accepted, turning back around - and leaping back with a startled yelp as she came face to face with a large wall of muscles and grey skin belonging to a certain Berserker, who leered down at them with his usual massive, unnerving grin.
"Hunger is an oppressor!" Spartacus boomed. "One of the greatest oppressors of all! It must be defeated so we may accumulate strength to defeat even greater oppressors! If sustenance is offered to defy it, then it would behoove you to take it, Lancer!"
"H-hello to you too, Spartacus," Ritsu panted out, holding her chest. "Just uh, mind giving a heads up the next time you show up? I nearly had a heart attack!"
The Berserker's grin grew even wider and even more unnerving. "My apologies!" he cried. "I did not mean to surprise you! I simply smelled something delicious and was assailed by the oppression that is hunger myself!" He looked over at the pot. "And indeed, it seems quite delectable!"
Morgana's eyes widened as he glanced at the small pot then back at Spartacus. "W-we only have enough to give you one serving!" he quickly interjected. "We don't have enough ingredients for more!"
The former gladiator nodded. "That is fine!" he declared. "Far be it from me to oppress you for more food! I shall take what you can spare and thank you gratefully, my comrades in rebellion!"
Rapid footsteps caught their attention. Turning, they saw Boudica running up, sword and shield in hand. "There you are!" she gasped out once she caught sight of Spartacus. "Sorry about that, guys. We were on patrol when Spartacus caught a scent of something and jumped off. I thought it was something dangerous, but I didn't expect it was just you guys cooking dinner." So saying, her gear disappeared in a flash of light, leaving her looking innocuous once more as she took a breath. "Oh my, curry?" she realized. "Quite a luxury out here in the countryside."
Ren grinned up from the pot at her as he continued stirring. "Wanna join us?" he asked. "We should have enough here for one serving for everyone present so far."
The Rider blinked in surprise, then chuckled. "Well, if you're offering, then it would be rude of me to decline," she replied. "Is there anything I can do to help, at least? I'm a deft hand in a kitchen."
The Phantom Thief blinked and was about to decline when he looked over at Mash, who was still cutting up vegetables. "Mash, would you like Boudica to give you some pointers?" he asked, grabbing the Shielder's attention.
"Huh?" Mash asked, blinking in surprise, then sheepishly nodded. "Y-yes, please," she murmured. "I'm sorry I'm taking so long."
"Nonsense," Boudica chided as she immediately made her way over. "You're making good time, Mash. Your technique just needs a bit of refinement. Here, let me show you." Taking over for Mash, she easily handled the knife as she chopped up the vegetables at double her speed.
"Cats paw grip, use the knife like a lever," the Rider coached as Mash observed closely. "It takes a bit of practice, but eventually you'll get the speed you want. Cut it up in cubes too – that'll go well with the curry. Now you try."
Mash nodded with a determined expression, shifting over and began working again, utilizing the techniques she observed from Boudica in accordance with her teachings. Immediately, her pace dramatically increased from what it had been before. "There you go!" Boudica cheered. "You're a fast learner, Mash!"
"Yes! Thank you very much, Boudica!" the Shielder replied with a grateful smile as she continued to work.
Ren smiled and turned to continuing stirring the curry – only to jump a bit as the massive figure of Spartacus was right beside him, his wide eyes staring down directly at him. "Hey, er, Spartacus, right?" he greeted. "Dinner won't be ready for a bit, so if you wanna take a seat or do something else, feel free."
The gladiator's grin widened. "So, you are the one that Ritsu spoke of!" he rumbled. "You and Morgana!"
Both Ren and Morgana turned to look at each other in surprise and trepidation, then back at Spartacus. "Er, what did she speak about?" the former asked, trying to suppress the trepidation that was rapidly racing up his heart.
"She spoke of those who embody the very spirit of rebellion!" he boomed. "Fighting against corrupt authorities in the shadows, defying oppressors at every turn, and inspiring others to defy in turn! You are the Phantom Thieves! We are truly comrades in arms, you and I!"
Ren's mouth dropped open slightly before glancing out of the side of his eye at Ritsu, who immediately looked away from them both while whistling. Mash, meanwhile, simply shot the redhead a disapproving look. Turning back, he could see Spartacus leering even closer at him. It seemed he wasn't going to escape this.
He could only chuckle to himself. Well, this promised to be an eventful dinner, at least.
Night had fallen over the camp. The distant sounds of woodland animals echoed from the forest nearby as a soft wind wafted in gently from the coast. Although there was some activity in the camp below, the only real movement were sentries patrolling the palisades, keeping an eye out for any intruders. Their comrades otherwise were either talking around campfires, gambling in some shadowy corner away from the prying eyes of officers, or simply turning in for the evening, exhausted by the hard day's march and work.
Perched on a nearby hill, Archer quietly kept watch for any being or Servant that might approach. Most of his fellow Servants were doing the same as well, with Medusa keeping watch in the shadows and Tamamo monitoring her talismans. Glancing about, he saw Loki lazing on the palisade nearest to where the Masters were camped, yawning in boredom, while the Masters themselves were with Boudica and Spartacus. Astolfo was chatting up some soldiers in another section of the camp, Lu Bu was patrolling the perimeter, and Jing Ke… well, she would be seen when she wanted to be seen. All told, it had been a quiet evening.
The peace felt a bit surreal. They had all been prepared to reinforce the besieged Massilia, considering the sheer army reported while being headed by the legendary Alexander the Great and the magus Waver Velvet. Frankly, once they had all arrived, then they could've easily dealt with the army. The automaton soldiers were absolutely no match for Servants and would've been cut down like a scythe going through wheat. And as capable as Alexander and Waver were, he doubted they could've handled eleven Servants at once.
Instead, they came back to a smoking ruin of a victory, and an accounting with Loki. The Avenger had been far more dangerous than even he had expected, with an ability that Ren knew about but hadn't expected to transfer over. He thought he had seen everything about the Metaverse abilities after witnessing the Alter's Palace back in Orleans as well as his Masters' abilities, but it seemed like there was still more. He would have to be especially careful unless they wanted victory ripped away by the most unexpected methods.
Which brought up another question: Medusa never spoke about useless subjects. She spoke only when she needed to. She could be evasive with her answers or questions, but there was always intent. And that question about a world without suffering… long had he pondered if he should ask Ren or Morgana about it. In such a world, he wouldn't be needed. The existence known as Shirou Emiya would be forced to admit defeat on his foolish dreams. If he had been offered such a world, he would…
He closed his eyes. No, he admonished himself. It was pointless to focus on what-ifs or his Masters' past decisions. They were no concern of his, nor would any of them be able to do anything about it now. He needed to focus on the present and the future. He could hear a feminine voice in the back of his mind shrilly berating him for being such an idiot and could only smirk to himself.
What would Rin have thought of it all?
Suddenly, he heard the shift in the undergrowth behind him: The crunching of leaves and the breaking of twigs were loud in the quiet night air. Footsteps of a person, not an animal. The pace was not too fast nor slow; they weren't trying to sneak up on him whatsoever. No clanking of metal armor or creak of leather, just a faint rustle of cloth. The footsteps were too heavy for one of the girls or even emperor Nero. A Servant wouldn't even bother walking up like this either. Morgana was completely out of the question. That left only one conclusion…
"I thought Phantom Thieves were normally better at sneaking up on people," he commented with a smirk without bothering to turn around.
Ren chuckled as he brushed some leaves off his clothes. "Wasn't trying to," he retorted simply. "Just didn't want to surprise you was all."
Archer smirked as he glanced over at his Master as he took a seat on a rock beside him. "Finally got away from Spartacus, then?" he inquired rhetorically.
Chuckling again, Ren nodded. "I passed him off to Morgana," he replied. "He was the one who was with me the longest and also taught me the ropes of Phantom Thievery. I just thought he also deserved the honor of regaling him with stories of our adventures."
"Same way you passed me off to Artoria that time?" Archer asked, raising an eyebrow.
The Phantom Thief's blinked in surprise, then he feigned an expression of hurt. "What?" he gasped. "Do you think I'd do such a thing to one of my closest friends and companions? Have you so little faith in me, Archer?"
The red-mantled hero simply stared down at him, his skepticism evident from his silence. A moment later, neither of them could hold their mirth in as they began laughing. That time felt like an eternity ago, with the singularities they had dealt with. And yet, despite it all, it was still fresh in their minds. A moment's reprieve from the insanity of the campaign.
"So, Morgana told me about his leg of the campaign," Ren commented as he reclined on his rock, stretching. "What did you think of it? Been on a lot of sea trips in your life?"
Archer shook his head. "Most of my journey in life was on land," he corrected. "There have been a few trips on boats, sure, but they were simply ferrying from one point to the next on some expedition or other. Not much time for downtime or leisure. Not like here, at least." He didn't mention that much of that time, said boats either held soldiers, refugees… or corpses. Often, he had to smuggle himself aboard or hire himself out as a mercenary simply to get to where he needed to go. It wasn't ideal, but he wasn't about to complain. It was irrelevant.
"True, but here you had some downtime, right?" Ren pushed a bit.
After a moment, the red-mantled hero chuckled. "There was some, yes," he admitted. "It allowed me to get some fishing done. I couldn't experiment as much as I wanted to with them – it's hard to procure decent ingredients around here if you don't know precisely what to look for – but it was still more satisfying than typical Roman rations. This isn't much of a problem now thanks to Mash and Ritsu restocking our rations, but it provided some variety while we were out on ships."
Ren nodded pensively. "I can't imagine that would be much fun," he murmured. "I don't suppose there's much to do on a ship?"
"Oh, there's plenty to do," Archer retorted with a smirk. "If you wish to swab the deck, help with the ropes, rowing, moving supplies around, and more, then there's no shortage of things to do on a ship. But if you mean in terms of entertainment or just passing the time, then no. Fishing or gambling are favored pastimes on ships for a reason. Modern times has thankfully made entertainment considerably more compact and easier, but still."
"I see," the Phantom Thief mused, joining the Servant's amusement. Video games, movies, TV shows... there were plenty of methods to keep oneself entertained all while staying in one location – provided there was electricity and outlets, as well as proper screens. Futaba in particular could have easily stayed in her room her entire life so long as she was provided with food and other living accommodations like a bathroom. Hell, before they came along, she basically had been.
But still, nowadays, he had a feeling she wouldn't be quite as content (although still more than comfortable) with staying in her room permanently, not after her adventures with them both in the Metaverse or in the real world. Granted, they had to coax her out every once in a while, but it was no bother for any of them.
"What about you?" Archer asked in turn, glancing over at Ren. "I believe you have mentioned that wars were something you didn't have much experience in, despite your past adventures. What do you think of everything?"
Ren blinked in surprise. "It's…" He was about to say 'alright' when the word got caught in his throat. What DID he think of everything so far? The corpses and zombies back in Orleans. The doppelganger's Palace. Single-handedly fighting off an army of two hundred in real life, without his enhanced physical capabilities from the Metaverse, and staring down Leonidas who could've easily ended his life with a simple spear thrust.
And finally, the siege of Massilia. The smell of burning chemicals and flesh. The desperate screams and gasps of the dying and the dead. His burning exhaustion as he tried to put out one fire only for a dozen more to spring up, literally and figuratively. The broken, despondent face of Alexander twisted in a mad rage as he demanded Loki's location, seeking retribution for the ghastly fall of his friend and comrade.
And that night, when men he thought were their allies tried to assassinate him – and an innocent was killed in the process.
"It's been an experience," Ren answered slowly. "There's a lot I've done in these singularities that I've never done before. I'm used to doing things that I believe are the right thing to do – saving that woman from Shido, taking up the mask of a Phantom Thief, defying those who would use their power for their own gain… or for what they believe would be the good of all. I might've stopped once or twice to think about it, sure, but in the end, I didn't hesitate to do what I needed to."
The red-mantled hero listened quietly. The phrase 'what they believe would be the good of all' definitely sounded like what Medusa spoke of before, but it wasn't the time to inquire about it. Instead, he kept his judgements to himself, wondering briefly where Ren was going with this.
Ren swept an arm over the dark horizon. "Here I am, fighting to preserve humanity and correct history," he continued. "And if anyone gets in the way of that, then I'll defend myself and push forward no matter what. Honestly, it's no different than when I first became a Phantom Thief – changing hearts is not exactly the most moral thing to do for most people. We did our best to only change the hearts of those that absolutely deserve it, especially when we end up pushed against a corner. I don't regret changing the hearts of our targets or what we did."
"And yet…" The Phantom Thief stared down at the camp. "Why does it all feel so wrong ?"
Archer said nothing for a moment as he processed Ren's words. "War cares little about morals," he murmured. "Good, evil, kindness, cruelty… it takes such notions and grinds it down with teeth of steel. For those who fight in it, in the end, it's nothing more than a desperate struggle of objectives and survival. If someone points a gun at you, then your only hope is that your reflexes are faster so you can pull the trigger in turn. Fighting for your own justice has… little place in such conflicts."
"I suppose," Ren agreed reluctantly. "At the very least, I wanted to be able to protect those around me how I can. And I've protected a lot of people, close friends and strangers. But… I wasn't able to protect everyone. I'm not sure if I wasn't fast enough, not powerful enough, or just… made the wrong call. Just the thought I made a mistake is terrifying."
Ren glanced down and for a split second, he saw the blood on his hands once more. After everything that happened, he did his best to wash off the blood in the shadows behind his house. It stuck to his hands, seeping into the cracks and creases of his skin and drying out underneath his fingernails. He used the entire bottle of water to wash off his hands and even then, the coppery scent still faintly lingered. He could only bitterly wish he had some hand soap.
"You can't save everyone."
The sharper tone in Archer's voice caught Ren by surprise as he glanced over. Though the Servant remained stoic as usual, there was a faint pain and anguish in his steel-grey eyes. "Save those you can, but accept when you can't," he admonished gently but firmly. "It's foolish to believe you can save everyone, even those around you. You will do all you can, but that is the most anyone can ask of you – or you can ask yourself. I have no doubt you are doing everything within your power, Ren Amamiya. Do not demand more."
"I know," Ren sighed. Those words from the red-mantled hero felt… personal, somehow. He had no doubt the man had more than enough personal experience with what he had gone through. The dream of him, with numerous swords impaled in his back as he stood among a field of blades, smiling, still haunted his mind even after all this time. He knew better than to doubt his words.
Archer watched as Ren seemingly began rubbing his hands together almost subconsciously, lost in his thoughts. He was about to simply leave the conversation off when Ren spoke in a whisper. "Blood is… surprisingly hard to wash off," he murmured, staring at the ground.
The red-mantled hero stared down at Ren, his steel-grey eyes etched with concern and pity for the Phantom Thief – and fledgling warrior. "Yes," he agreed quietly. "Yes, it is." Silent once more, they both looked over the camp, the faint sounds of merriment from the Chaldean section reaching their ears as the gloom further set in.
The quiet night, uncaring about the affairs of mortal people, passed once more.
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