chapter 45:

Ania could not understand. The first series of gestures did nothing. She blinked in surprise and tried again, the familiar tingle of energy clearly at the tip of her fingers. Again nothing. The healer's face was just as marred in bruised flesh. Puzzled, she closed her eyes and concentrated more, reaching into her deeper core as she did with more complex wounds. Again, no sigh of any change in her friend's appearance. She looked at her general, perplexed. " I...I do not understand," she apologized. Alexhander frowned, the information impossible to fathom. He looked at the brunette in her red kefta, " perhaps, you are tapped out of energy. You have done beautifully in the lower city. You consumed too much". Ania shook her head in anger and pulled out a dagger. She walked quickly to Timofei and pulled his arm to her. She cut through his open palm before he could protest. As he swore to all the saints, she placed the dagger back into its sheath at her waist. Timofei has let go of Kara. Ania looked at the Tailor and spat, " Hush now! Do not act like a child!". She waved her hands over his fresh wound and the skin wove itself together again. No mark was left. She whipped around to her general, raising an eyebrow. Alexhander was stunned. What could this mean? He bristled, his voice commanding, " try AGAIN". Ania turned to her friend who had not moved but looked much calmer than before. Ania closed her eyes and breathed slowly. She begged to all the saints to come to her support and slowly began the sequence of hand gestures she knew by heart. Yet, when she opened her eyes again, nothing had changed.

Alexhander's mind was unraveling. his heart began to drum in his chest. Yet the situation was still incomprehensible to him. In despair, he turned to his prisoner. " Timofei, change Kara's appearance in any temporary form you wish. NOW". Timofei nodded and rubbed his hands together in concentration. As he faced his only ally within the Little Palace he thought of Ania, her brown hair, her dark eyes, her olive skin and began a quick succession of shapes with his fingers. Timofei was incredibly talented in changing his own form as well as that of others. It usually took no more than a few seconds for his Small Science to do as he bid. Yet...He saw no morphing of Kara's face. Her valid eye was still blue, her face still bruised and mangled, her hair still wet and golden. His breath was shaking as he turned in horror towards the shadow summoner. There was silence. All three Grisha in the room could not fathom what was happening. It was impossible! There was no recorded history of any circumstances where Small Science could not have any effect apart from an exhausted Grisha. Kara sat on the edge of the bed and looked at them in apprehension. For the first time, her lover and her friends looked at her with fear. She looked at Alexhander and his beautiful dark eyes stricken with horror. She licked her lips and whispered, " Now you know. Small Science does not work on me". Ania struggled with the concept. " That is IMPOSSIBLE. Every living thing hums with Small Science. Even Otkazat'sya, to a lesser extent, channel Small Science. Even the smallest fish in the sea lives and breathes in harmony with it!". Kara chuckled, " Well then, It seems I am the first to be immune to it".

Alexhander almost stumbled back. His face was unreadable. " As Ania said, that is simply impossible. Everything that lives and breaths needs Small Science. Anything else would be...unnatural". The healer looked sadly back to the one she loved. She whispered, " Then perhaps...that is what I am". Alexhander's mind screamed in protest. He looked upon Ania and Timofei, "Both of you LEAVE. You are not to speak of what you have learned here. You will swear a blood oath to me shortly". Ania and Timofei, still stunned in disbelief, left the room slowly. Timofei turned to look at Kara through the half-opened door. He mouthed to her, be safe and we'll talk soon. She nodded reassuringly to him and he reluctantly shut the door. The estranged lovers looked at each other solemnly.

Alexhander felt like pacing across the room but could not seem to move his legs. It felt as if he did not know this woman. All he believed he knew was like vapor in the Banya. The shapes he seemed to have seem mere illusions. Only an hour ago her skin had been against his. He had wrapped his arms around her and promised himself he would do all in his power to shield her from more suffering. What had felt as the strongest relationship he ever had fell away to rubble. He was reminded how quick things had happened between them. After all, it had been less than a year since he had met her on the northern front. Yet it felt as if he had known her for ages. She was his missing piece. What he thought he had been waiting for in a sun summoner had been fulfilled by this healer from nowhere. Now, he felt torn. Can you still love a person when you realize you know nothing about them? He felt like a wounded animal, sulking in the corner of the chamber, shielding his bleeding pride. The darkness around him wrapped him in a protective ward. He called with a broken voice, " Did you know? All this time, did you hide this from me?".

Kara shook her head, " No I did not know. I...guessed it might happen after I encountered your mother". his eyes narrowed in suspicion, " You only mentioned her attempt to keep you at a distance from me. That was WEEKS ago!". Kara rose to her feet, her eye pleading for understanding, " I did not think it important. She held my arm for a moment and mentioned feeling nothing. How was I to understand from it that I am immune to Small Science!?". The Darkling began to pace, a cloud of utter blackness shadowing his every move. He needed answers. It was the only way for him to secure his feelings and reconnect with the healer. He inhaled slowly, " It's hard for me to believe that you had no other experience of this...absence of Small Science in your flesh. Do you have no recollection as a child? Did your parents not warn you of your...particularity?". Kara recoiled and narrowed her good eye, " You make it sound like an infirmity. Why are you saying it that way?". She sighed and shook her head, " I would like to be able to give you an explanation. I have none. All I remember from my parents is that they were loving before they were taken from me. I wondered in the wilderness until I found the hermit who raised me. I only encountered Grisha willing to use their Small Science on me once I came here, in your Little Palace". Kara did not know how to explain to Alexhander that despite learning of her immunity only presently, she had always had...a feeling. A muted whisper in her bones. That is why she felt safe with a nomadic lifestyle. As she thought more on the current situation, it now made sense that the creatures of the Fold had not sensed her. The volcra had been a breath away and yet unable to detect her presence. Kara had not shared this encounter with Alexhander and had made Timofei swear to keep it secret. The look of puzzlement Alexhander sent her way made her unsteady. What she really an anomaly? Should she seek answers? If so, where could she even begin her search?

Alexhander took an angry step closer, " Do you not know what this means? It means that no Grisha will ever be able to come to your aid! No healer will ever be able to fix this!". His hand rose in anger to point at her bruised face. Was it anger? or was it a profound dread? Kara shuddered slightly but then added, "It also means that no Grisha will ever be able to hurt me". The Shadow Summoner recoiled as if he had been slapped in the face. He hissed in reply, " After all this time you have spend with us... with ME, you still feel that my kind would hurt you?!". Kara's face hardened, " Can you truly speak for all Grisha? Would you say none would ever find it in their interest for me to disappear? What of your mother? What about Irina?". The Shadow Summoner felt his breathing escape him. His chest was heaving and constricting painfully. He was losing control. He looked at her pleading, " Perhaps not all Grisha see you as I do. But I would have protected you. You would have been safe. Now...I cannot protect you. You are...even more vulnerable than I thought". Kara felt her heart break silently. Her valid eye began to sting. " Are you saying...that this changes us? That you cannot love me as I am...now?". The shadow summoner's throat was not working. A hard lump had taken root. He looked away. " Kara, I am a man of reason. I feel safe once I know what I face...whatever the situation. I cannot seem to do otherwise. But I am damned. For I am in love with a woman I will never be able to save. If I cannot protect you, what good am I to you? What hope is there for us?"

Kara pulled away and hid her face. She was weeping and yet she was angry with him. Through wet sobs she managed to ask, " You cannot be with me...because you believe me weak?". The Darkling shuddered, " I never said that you are weak." Kara dropped her hands and clenched them by her side. Her angry gaze was hard to behold. She chocked, " You do not have to say it. I see what your mind thinks through your eyes. All the ones I have come to help, all the positions I have accepted...never have I been proclaimed to be fragile as you have. I cannot be with someone that sees me as a porcelain doll". It dawned on the shadow summoner what she was about to do and his hands shook. He tried to fix what was breaking, " Please, take a moment to see things as I do. I am general to the second army, a detested powerful Grisha with no comparable enemy to confront me. I am able to protect my kind and those I care about BECAUSE I am detested and powerful. You would be the flaw, the crack in my impenetrable armor. With you, everything I have built can crumble to the ground. Because if anyone threatens to harm you, I will come running". He smiled sadly, " And even if did arrive in time, I would be condemned to watch you die".

The stream of tears on Kara's face sparkled and continued to stream down her face. She looked broken both physically and emotionally. A little breathless sparrow. And yet the look in her eyes was that of a confident predator. The contrast was surprising and Alexhander looked upon her in awe, waiting for her reply. She simply said, " I think you should leave". The shadow summoner shook his head in refusal but remained speechless. Kara held his gaze, " You want to protect me? Go and have Timofei and Ania swear their blood oath quickly. I have nothing more to say to you tonight. Too much has happened. I need to think ALONE". The Shadow summoner wanted to object but knew nothing good would come about tonight. She was right, they both needed time to think.

Alexhander did as Kara recommended and retired to his quarters. There, he had Ania and Timofei cut their palm and press their wounded hand to his own cut skin. Their blood mixed together. both shuddered as his amplifying abilities bound them to their common secret. Once it was done, Ania healed their wounds before walking away, pale and trembling. Timofei followed her deep in thought. The Darkling was conflicted. Of course the best course of action was for him to stop seeing Kara. To break their hearts now before they were irreversibly bound together. He would be safe. She would be safe. However he wondered if it was not already too late for him. He was already bound. His fingers itched to open the wooden chest containing the kvas that often helped to numb his emotions. He resisted. He ran his hand through his dark hair in thought. An immune?! As rare and improbable as awaiting for a sun summoner. He had never heard of such lines of people. Was she the only one? or was their a whole community of immune individuals out there somewhere? His mind was confused and agitated. As always he felt frightened when he knew nothing of what he faced. As he thought, an idea began to bloom. If he knew more...If he knew exactly how her body came to reject any form of Small Science, he might be able to help her. He might fix what was against every balance of nature he knew. Only one person would know where to look. He hated the idea of paying her a visit. She would ask why. She would find him weak. She would ridicule his motives. He took a deep breath and made his decision. He would leave in the morning. He would go and take his horse down towards Sikursk and face his mother.

Kara wept for the better part of an hour in her room. She had barely calmed herself when there was a timid knock on the door. Kara mumbled in a hoarse voice, " Go away. I wish to be left alone." Her body relaxed once she recognized the Tailor's voice, " It would not do you good to leave me out here. I escaped my heartrender body guard. As my guardian you ought to take me back at least". She sighed and pulled the sheets away from her legs. Her feet dropped to the hard tile floor and she walked slowly to the door. She opened it just a crack to see Timofei with a wry smile and a bottle of kvas. He showed it to her. He added, " I smuggled it out of the kitchen disguised as the cook. You would have laughed seeing me act like a plump middle-aged spinster". Kara was too tired to laugh. She left the door opened and checked the fire was still burning. She sat in a chair and looked upon the flames. Timofei shut the door and joined her in a another chair. She did not turn her face to say, " Why are you here?". Timofei looked at the purple tumefied face, the flicker of the flames making her wounds more impressive. The Tailor uncorked the bottle and took a sip. He grimaced, the liquor was strong. He coughed, " I thought you might want to talk after learning that your cells repel Small Science. I know I was surprised. I cannot imagine what you must think". More seriously he added, " I owe you my life after what happened in the Fold. Now that I think about it, you being immune explains a lot of things. How else would you have come out of the Fold unscathed?". He sighed, ruffling his red hair, " I guess, I know what it is being an outcast. I was thinking I could be there for you...if you need company". Kara looked and him. This tailor who had betrayed a whole battalion of the second army was a mystery. He had been cold, defensive and snarky with her to begin with. Then, he had been observant. She had caught him staring once or twice when he had assisted to her classes and sessions in the lower city. He had been deciding if he could trust her. Then, their escape with the Fold had changed everything. He had become protective. Her eye softened and she took the offered kvas bottle. She took a sip and gagged, " Saints, this is horrendous! How do you drink the stuff?". the Tailor chuckled, " it's an acquired taste. It's still better than your headache remedies". Kara pretended to be offended but took another sip. It seemed to calm her nerves. They sat in silence for a while, looking at the dwindling fire. Timofei broke the silence first, " What are you going to do?". The healer barely moved, " I do not really know. I have all these questions without answers". She closed her eyes and thought hard, " The first person to detect what I might be was Baghra, Alexhander's mother. She might know something. However, I have no idea how to get to her". Timofei's lips curled into a dark grin, " I might be able to help you with that".