Chapter 1

IMPORTANT: I have posted this story on AO3 a while ago, but now that FFN seems to be working better I have decided to post here to. Let me know what you think. Sorry about the spam of chapters, but I wanted to get everything posted so that i can post chapters here and AO3 at the same time, it's probably going to to take me a couple of hours to get everything posted. I am going to leave the AN on each chapter so you can understand how the story progresses.

AN: Yes, I am writing another AOS/Marvel story. As is pretty standard for me I have worked out a timeline that works for me and based on in episode/movie references and what makes sense based on that rather than details that have been said outside text (such as Iron Man 3 taking place in 2013 rather than 2012, I have gone with 2012). I have again aged some characters down, changed some backstories, and change some relationships that will be explained throughout the story, it may take a few chapters for a everything to be clear.

It is important to know that this isn't a story for anyone that liked Steve going back to live with Peggy in endgame. (to me it just felt like a way to make Peggy into just Steve's love interested when she was sooo much more, which this story is going to explore, in ways you may not expect)


September 1995

For Five years Clint Barton has been an Agent of SHIELD ever since he was nineteen years old and was recruited by Agents Phil Coulson and Melinda May. Through his time at SHIELD Clint has found not only a job he loves but a place he feels like he belongs; and now there is a chance he's going to lose it all.

Over Two weeks ago, he was sent on a mission by Director Nick Fury to take out a Russian operative, but rather than killing her Clint has helped her prove that she wants to defect and brough her back to the United States. As he paces back and forth Clint knows he has done the right thing, but he is terrified that no one else is going to believe him, which is why, despite everything else going, on he has reached out to the person he believes is going to be on his side, the person he believes will be able to help others see the potential he sees.

"This better be good," Melinda May, looking half asleep not surprising when it's three am, says, as she walks towards where Clint is pacing in a corridor in a basement level of the Triskelion.

"Mels, I'm sorry," Clint says, hurrying towards her. "I know you're on maternity leave for another two weeks, and I didn't want to call, but I need your help… I know she can be an asset, and she wants to start over, she really does, but Fury is so pissed, I don't know how to get him to see that," Clint starts to explain, and Melinda can tell how desperate he is, how much he believes what he is saying, and how afraid he is that no one is going to be on their side.

"Clint, slow down," Melinda requests, trying to make sense of what he is saying, something which isn't as easy as it normally would be due to Melinda's lack of sleep. "Now, who's she? What do you want me to do?" Melinda requests, her voice even but clear that she wants straight answers, and Clint better give them to her.

"Natasha Romanoff," Clint answers. "She's a Russian operative, Fury sent me to take her out… but, there was something about her… I just couldn't do it," Clint admits. "Mels, she wants to join SHIELD, and she's already turned against the Russians," Clint explains, as he knows that what Natasha did to prove that is huge. "She's in there," Clint says, pointing to a room that Melinda knows to be an interrogation room. "And Fury's upstairs deciding what to do with her," Clint explains to Melinda and as he does everything starts to fall into place for her.

"And you want me to talk to her, see if I agree with you and then talk to Fury," Melinda realises.

"Fury trusts your judgement, if you say she deserves a chance he'll listen," Clint says, clearly believing that, though Melinda knows it's not actually as simple as Clint clearly believes it to be.

"I'll talk to her," Melinda tells Clint. "But there's no guarantee I'll agree with you," Melinda tells Clint, wanting to make that clear.

"You will," Clint says, and Melinda knows how much he believes that.

"Okay," Melinda says, taking her access card, which has a higher access level than Clint's, out of her pocket and walking over to the room, letting herself in.

Walking into the interview room Melinda sees a redhaired woman who looks to be in her early twenties, but unknown to Melinda is actually older, sitting in the chair. While she is attempting to give a careless persona off Melinda knows that she is scared, that she wants to belong, and that she is determined to prove that she can be an Agent of SHIELD.

"My name's Melinda May," Melinda introduced, knowing that even with her advantages she has to be careful how she handles this, especially considering she knows Natasha is sizing her up. "Clint asked me to talk to you," Melinda says as she pulls out a chair and sits down across from her. "He believes you could be an asset, that you could have a place within SHIELD, that you deserve a chance," Melinda explains and as she does, she knows that Natasha is shocked that Clint has faith in her. "What do you think about that?" Melinda asks, wanting to hear what she has to say.

"I think you must be an expert interrogator to be sent in here," Natasha says, showing what Melinda already knew which is that Natasha is guarded, that she doesn't want to give anything away, at least not until she has more of a chance to assess the situation.

"I wasn't sent, Clint asked me, I'm here as a favour to him," Melinda explains, deciding that honesty is best, as she knows that Natasha is assessing her just as much as she is doing the same to her. "Natasha, I am going to put my cards on the table, may I call you Natasha?" Melinda asks, realising that she should have made sure of that.

"I guess," Natasha responds, and Melinda knows that she is curious about her.

"Clint asked me here because he wants you both to have an ally," Melinda explains. "I've known Clint a few years, I trust his judgement, and I know that he has faith in you, which is exactly why he's gone out on a limb," Melinda reveals, choosing her words carefully. "I will go to bat for you, something which does carry weight around here, but before I do that, I need to know that you want this, that you're not playing Clint," Melinda explains, realising that while Natasha is surprised by her honesty, she also appreciates it. "So, Natasha Romanoff, why are you here?" Melinda asks simply, as that's the answer she needs to hear.

"Because I don't want to be what I was made to be anymore," Natasha answers, doing so without really thinking about her answer. "I… I'm good at what I do May, the best even, but that's not who I want to be anymore," Natasha admits, being more open than she ever is because something tells her that this is her only chance. "I am here because I want to make a change, I want to do something good for once, be a part of something, be more than I have been," Natasha explains.

"Okay," Melinda says, being able to tell that there is more than what Natasha is saying, but that she is not ready to share, but because of everything else she knows Natasha is feeling Melinda doesn't need to know that, not yet. "I'll be back soon," Melinda says, not giving anything away as she gets up and heads out of the room, knowing that Natasha is confused by her behaviour.

As soon as Melinda walks out of the room she can tell how worried Clint is even though he has faith in Natasha.

"You weren't in there long, is that good? Bad?" Clint asks concerned, finding Melinda impossible to read, just like always.

"It means I've talked to Natasha, now I'm going to talk to Fury," Melinda says, before walking away from him without another word, leaving Clint to feel very confused as well as concerned.


After leaving the basement level where Natasha and Clint are Melinda heads straight up to the higher level of the Triskelion where Fury's office is. As it's the middle of the night and there is no current disaster going on Melinda doesn't see another person until she walks into Fury's office where she finds Fury, who unknown to Melinda has just gotten off a video call.

"Barton call you?" Fury asks, seeing Melinda, who nods.

"He wanted my help, my assessment," Melinda admits, as she casually sits down in one of the armchairs across from Fury.

"Of course," Fury says, not at all surprised by that. "I just finished getting that from your godmother," Fury reveals, and Melinda is pretty sure she knows what was said based on what she can tell.

"I'm not surprised," Melinda admits, knowing exactly which of her two godmothers he is referring too without Fury needing to say.

"You're never surprised," Fury reminds Melinda.

"True… I'm not entirely sure I can be," Melinda admits. "But I'm not here to talk about that," Melinda admits, knowing that it's probably not the best place to talk about that particular thing.

"Of course not. You talked to her?" Fury asks, and Melinda nods. "And? What do you think?"

"I think, she deserves a chance," Melinda admits. "She wants to be different; she wants to belong… I think she can be trusted, and with time, maybe, just maybe if we're very lucky, she'll trust us," Melinda tells Fury, and for a moment he looks like he is considering both what she said and the conversation he has already had about the matter.

"When you're back she's your responsibility, they both are," Fury says, not asking Melinda to return from leave early as that wouldn't be fair, isn't something he is willing to do to her, and Melinda knows he is saying that because he wants someone, he trusts to oversee this.

"Okay, but until I am back don't shut her away, give her some freedoms, otherwise by the time I get back it will be too late," Melinda tells Fury.

"That could backfire," Fury says, showing that he doesn't have as much trust as Melinda, something which they both already knew.

"It could… but I don't think it will," Melinda admits.

"It's your ass if it does," Fury says, standing up, wanting to make that clear.

"I figured," Melinda admits, standing up too. "But that doesn't change my recommendation," Melinda tells Fury.

"Didn't expect it to," Fury says, honestly, he would be disappointed if it did as it would mean Melinda doesn't actually believe in what she is doing, before heading out of the office, Melinda right behind him.


Not long after they left Fury's office Melinda and Fury walk into the corridor where Clint is still pacing back and forth, but when he Melinda and Fury he stops pacing and walks over to them.

"Director?" Clint asks, and Melinda can tell how nervous he is.

"Barton… with us," Fury says, and he heads straight to the room where Natahsa is and lets the three of them in.

As the trio walk into the room Melinda can tell that Natahsa is nervous about what is going to happen, but Melinda also knows that it is something that she would never admit.

"Natasha Romanoff, welcome to SHIELD," Fury says to her, and it is clear to Melinda that both Clint and Natahsa are surprised by that.

"Sir?" Natasha responds, hiding her surprise as she thought it would be a lot more complicated.

"You'll be on probation for a year, and when she is back from leave in two weeks Agent May will be responsible for you," Fury says, purposely not mentioning the leave Melinda is on as he knows how few people know that, for very good reasons. "Until then you'll undergo skill assessments here before going on any mission," Fury explains. "You'll be confined to the Triskelion for now, but your movements inside won't be restricted any more than Agent Barton's are," Fury tells Natasha. "Questions?" Fury asks.

"No Sir," Natasha responds, still trying to digest everything, as this was so much more than she was expecting.

"Good, this won't be the last time we talk," Fury says before heading out of the room, wanting to give Natasha, and even Clint, even a chance to digest everything, and Melinda knows just how amazed Natasha is as she wasn't expecting that.

"Thank you," Clint says to Melinda, being sure that she has played a big part in Fury's decision, who nods.

"You should show Natasha to the bunks," Melinda tells Clint, before turning to Natasha. "I'll see you in two weeks, Clint knows how to get in touch with me before then if you need anything," Melinda explains to her, and Natasha nods.

Seeing Natasha's nod and knowing that Natasha is feeling a little overwhelmed by everything that has happened over the past few minutes Melinda heads to the door.

"May," Natasha says, and Melinda turns around to look at her. "I appreciate you going to bat for me," Natasha tells her, and Melinda knows that after what she just did Natasha is worried about letting her down.

"You're welcome, I don't think I'm going to regret it," Melinda says before leaving, causing Natasha to be confused about how Melinda could know what she was worried about.

"Yeah, May just seems to know things, I don't know how," Clint says, recognizing the look on Natahsa's face, as one he has seen before, one he knows has been on his face before, but what he has never had is an explanation. "Let's get out of here," Clint suggests, as while the bunks aren't the most comfortable, they are certainly more comfortable than the room they are currently in, and Natasha stands up, wondering if she is ever going to figure Melinda May out, as she does.


After leaving the Triskelion Melinda heads back home and as she walks into her townhouse Melinda wakes the person sleeping on the couch resulting in her best friend Phil Coulson pointing a gun at her.

"Just me," Melinda says, not even phased, causing Phil to realise it's her, before she turns and locks the door while Phil lowers the gun.

"Can't be too careful," Phil says.

"Don't have to tell me that," Melinda says as she walks over him, appreciating his actions. "How are the girls?" Melinda asks.

"Fine, neither have made a peep," Phil says as Melinda sits down next to him.

"Good, thank you for staying with them," Melinda says to him.

"Happy too, you know I'm always wiling to help," Phil tells Melinda.

"I know," Melinda says, knowing she will always be grateful for that.

"So? You going to keep me in suspense or you going to tell me what Clint got himself into?" Phil asks curious, as he has been wondering what was going on since Melinda left.

"He recruited a Russian operative he was sent to take out," Melinda explains, knowing it is the simplest way to explain that.

"He what?" Phil asks shocked.

"Yeah... he had his reasons," Melinda admits. "He made the right call," Melinda admits.

"Which I'm guessing is what he wanted you to tell Fury," Phil realises, everything falling into place for him.

"Yep," Melinda confirms. "I was the second person to do so," Melinda explains.

"Peggy?" Phil asks and Melinda nods.

"He called her for her assessment," Melinda explains.

"Well, she is the best person to ask about something like this," Phil comments, as just because Peggy is no longer director of SHIELD doesn't mean she no longer influences things.

"Really is," Melinda confirms.

"How's she doing?" Phil asks curious, as it has been a little while since he seen the founder of SHIELD.

"Okay… considering," Melinda answers. "She's struggling, especially lately," Melinda admits.

"It would have been their wedding anniversary recently…right?" Phil asks, wondering if he has gotten his dates mixed up.

"Yeah," Melinda confirms. "It would have been their fortieth," Melinda explains. "From what I was told it was a hard day, a struggle to get through, but she wasn't alone," Melinda says, and Phil knows exactly who would have told Melinda that, but he also knows why Melinda wouldn't have been there.

"Good," Phil says, feeling glad that Peggy didn't have to experience that day alone. "So, I got the info for the next retreat," Phil reveals, and Melinda knows that while it is not the first time Phil has received that invitation, he is still amazed by it. "I assuming the fact that it covers Hope's sixteenth birthday isn't a coincidence," Phil assumes.

"No, it's not," Melinda confirms. "We wanted to make sure she has something special, even if it's not Hank who makes sure of that," Melinda tells Phil.

"It's what she deserves," Phil says. "Do you really think he won't do anything for her?" Phil asks curious.

"I don't know, we'll have to wait and see," Melinda tells Phil.

"I assume we got the information about the retreat now as even though it's months away it takes that long to make sure all of you can be there," Phil comments.

"All of us Phil," Melinda corrects. "You know you're considered family," Melinda reminds him.

"I know… but I'm like Jim," Phil says, and Melinda gives him a look which says, 'you going to explain that,'. "The rest of you want us to be with you, consider us family, but we're still outsiders and may not be able to always be with you," Phil tells Melinda, who frowns, Phil knowing that technically Fury could be in the same boat but is deliberately slightly more removed.

"None of us consider you, either of you, to be outsiders," Melinda assures Phil. "You know that right?" Melinda asks as she assumes that had been made clear, but if they haven't then she knows it's something that they do have to make clear.

"I know… but we didn't experience what the rest of you experienced, what Hope, Antoine and Sharon are starting to experience, what Daisy and Bobbi will one day experience, no matter how hard we all try to protect them from it," Phil reminds her. "So as welcome as you have made us, as much as you consider us to be family, and we consider you to be, we could never completely understand what it's like for all of you, and that's what makes us outsiders," Phil tells Melinda, who realises he may have a point.

"You try to understand, that means… everything," Melinda says.

"So, your godmother has said…. Many ways in many different ways," Phil says, and Melinda knows he is not talking about Peggy. "My point, which I do have, is I'm glad to know when the next retreat is, but if I have to cover a mission so you can be there I will," Phil tells Melinda, as he knows that's more important.

"I appreciate it," Melinda says, Phil knowing that even if that's not always clear, and before he can say anything he yawns. "Spare rooms yours if you want to get some rest," Melinda tells Phil.

"I might just do that," Phil says. "Goodnight, May," Phil says standing up.

"Goodnight Coulson," Melinda responds, and once she does Phil heads out of the room, after Phil heads out of the room Melinda spends a few moments just sitting on the couch before getting up and heading upstairs.

Once upstairs rather than heading to her own room Melinda heads to another bedroom. Walking into the room Melinda finds her infant daughter Daisy asleep in her crib while Bobbi, her, recently turned, nine-years-old adoptive daughter is fast asleep in her bed.

Walking over to her girls Melinda checks on Bobbi, tucks her in, and places a kiss on her head, and spends a few moments watching her sleep. After watching Bobbi for a little while Melinda walks over to Daisy where she once again bends down and places a kiss on Daisy's head, and despite knowing she is exhausted Melinda just watches her daughter rather than catching up on sleep as that's what her peace is.