an empty ocean (an empty heart)


The waves crashed against the grey beach, cascading black meeting monochrome. Daisuke watched on impassively, eyes moving up toward the grey sky. It was hard to tell, but he knew it was getting late—he'd been here more than enough to recognize this dimension's day and night cycles even through the monotone of it all.

In the distance, the glaring lighthouse shone a light of grey. The now-common fluttering of bat-like wings caught his ears as he looked at the sound, catching the eye of the devil itself.

V-mon wasn't here. He was defenseless. And yet… the devil did nothing, just stared before giving a wicked grin and flew away.

The grey turned black and night took over all the worlds and even then he didn't move, the humid yet empty air causing his hair to blow. How long had it been since he first started coming here, two years, now? He didn't know.

He didn't know anything.

He wouldn't leave for hours yet, stepping out of the dimension as easily as he'd come in, without a hint of resistance.


Six months ago…

"A-Ah… okay, I-I understand," Daisuke said, feeling his heart shatter.

Hikari-chan looked sympathetic, eyes full of sadness—but not her own. "I'm sorry, Daisuke-kun," she said, "I just… don't feel the same way."

He was expecting that, deep in his heart, he thought. Somewhere, deep, deep down, he knew that she didn't feel the same—no matter how much he would try. But still… he hoped(ironic, wasn't it?) but… He still had to try. Had to at least let her know, no holds barred… just once.

It was the first and last time he told her his feelings, directly.

"T-Tell me this," Daisuke said, hating the way his voice cracked. He couldn't meet her eyes but forced himself to anyway. "I-Is it because of Takeru-san?"

Is it because he wasn't him?

Hikari-chan flushed, averting her gaze as she shook her head quickly. "N-No, I don't like Takeru-kun in that way either, I promise."

"A-Ah, okay… T-Thank you." For some reason, he felt a weight release on his chest.

One month later, Hikari and Takeru had started dating, their love palpable, as obvious as an oasis in the desert.


The final bell of the day rang and Daisuke walked out, bag slumped over his shoulder. He was in eighth grade now, wearing the same green blazers that he had once idolized, seeing Taichi-senpai wear the same. Once upon a time, he had dreamed of donning the uniform himself. Now that he had, he felt nothing.

It had been three years since his first adventure as a Chosen Child and two since the gates were closed to let the Digital World heal from the darkness of Belialvamdemon. Travel between worlds was still possible but only under certain conditions, under Gennai-san's supervision. The Digimon, at least of the younger Chosen Children, had elected to stay on Earth rather than go home, preferring to be with their partners.

Except V-mon.

Daisuke didn't understand it, but one day after talking with Ken, V-mon had said there was something he had to look for in the Digital World, something about his memories before he had even met Daisuke. Something about a boy named Akiyama Ryo.

Daisuke wanted to ask more, but seeing the determined look in his partner's eyes, couldn't refuse and thus the two partners had said goodbye. They both knew it wasn't permanent but...

But it still felt like it.

It had been three years since he met V-mon, three years since he first became a Chosen Child.

Three years since he saved the world and three years since everyone promptly forgot about it.

And two years… since the world had started to grow grey.

He didn't know when the world started to grow grey but it did, didn't catch as it was growing until he was drowning in it.

Two years since the Dark World practically became his second home. He would catch himself slipping through the cracks of dimensions, entering the world without even meaning to, without a gate or even his D3. He didn't know how it was possible but it was—slipping through the worlds as easily as he would enter and leave an open room.

The clattering of footsteps caught his ears and he saw Takeru and Miyako talking animately, their partners in their hands. Clearly, they were out to look for their Jogress partners—wasn't there a meet-up, today? Daisuke vaguely remembered Ken, who had moved to Odaiba in the last year, messaging him about that a while ago.

He hadn't responded.

Takeru and Miyako were about to look up and see him, he realized. In one swift, practiced motion Daisuke entered a random classroom before they could catch sight of him. It wasn't the first time he avoided his … friends, far from it, and it became easier with every little time.

It's not that he hated them or anything like that, it's just…

He didn't belong. Not anymore.

Ken and Miyako had started dating over a year ago, to absolutely no one's surprise. (And also to no one's surprise, it was Miyako who asked him out because Ken couldn't wrack up the nerve.) The couple, along with Takeru and Hikari-chan frequently went on double dates together and it led to Daisuke feeling like a fifth wheel.

Even Iori escaped that fate, not only by having a girlfriend of his own, but the fact that Takeru always made time for his now-best friend and Jogress partner.

Daisuke had a million things he wanted to do and giving a seventh wheel was exactly nowhere on that list. (Not to mention… seeing Takeru and Hikari-chan together felt like a molten knife was stabbing into his chest.)

It wasn't just that either but that they were… happy. Happy, with each other and their partners and so much more.

The world wasn't grey, not for them. Never for them.

They didn't need someone like him to ruin that.

So yes, with practiced ease, Daisuke hid in the classroom, waiting until his fellow Chosen Children had walked long past and exited the almost vacant building, walking aimlessly.

The goggles around his neck (not his head, never again his head) never felt heavier.


Sometimes, he wished there was another threat like Vamdemon or like Armagemon and then immediately hated himself for it. What kind of psycho wished the world was in danger of ending?!

But… it was the truth. He wished there was a threat—wished there was something for him to fight, to do anything but drown and rot in the grey.

He wished there was a threat, wished he could be a Chosen Child again… wished he could be a hero again.

Wished he could be anyone but plain old, C-student Motomiya Daisuke with no future.

(What was he, without his partner or Digivice, really?)

A soccer ball rolled in front of him and Daisuke followed it with empty eyes, hearing the cries of his once-teammates telling him to kick it back. With half-hearted effort, he did just that.

He didn't even have soccer anymore, not that he did in the first place. He was never an ace like Taichi-senpai or Sora-senpai, but a substitute. Once, it was a dream to be on the team full-time and take them all the way to the regional championships… Once, it was a dream.

Now, it was nothing but. He wasn't good enough to stay on the team, not like… this. Not like his grades would have let him anyway and he got dropped, even as a sub. When he heard the news, he just nodded, accepting his fate.

What was the point in fighting?


The breeze was cool and empty, the sand coarse under his fingertips. For once, he didn't feel alone. For once, the world saw itself the way he saw it. For once, everything truly was grey, and not by his vision—his mind.

For once, it felt like maybe he wasn't alone.


"Daisuke-kun! Daisuke-kun!" the voice of an angel called behind him and he resisted the urge to curse. He wondered if he could reasonably pretend he hadn't heard her and leave—but no, she was already too close.

He turned around a plastic smile on his face. "A-Ah, Hikari-sa—chan," he greeted one of the two girls he had ever loved in his life, greeted the only one still alive, "what's up?" he asked lamely and then hated himself for his response and then hated himself again for even caring, especially when concerning her.

She smiled as genially as she always did, "Where are you off to on such a hurry? You know the meet-up is at the park, right?"

I could ask you the same thing.

"A-Ah, that?"

She smiled at him wider, eyes dancing in amusement as if dealing with a child. "Don't tell me you forgot, Daisuke-kun. You missed the last one too!"

I'm surprised you noticed.

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "K-Kind of! It slipped my mind a little… I would love to go but my mom wants me home early tonight to help with dinner, since my dad's out."

Hikari frowned, clearly not buying the lie entirely. "This early? It's not five yet…"

"I know," he said with a fake pout, "but ever since Jun left for college, she's been hounding at me to pick up the slack with chores…" His sister had moved out for college a while back to live with her boyfriend, Kido Shuu, Jou-senpai's older brother.

Love really was in the air, wasn't it?

(And it was choking him alive.)

Hikari looked so disappointed that Daisuke almost believed she was upset for a second.

Almost.

"Is there really nothing to do, then…?"

He shook his head.

She sighed before piping up, "Well, okay then. You better be there for the next one, though! We miss you!"

Sure you do.

"Of course!" he lied through his teeth, lied just like she had to him so many months ago. "I really should be going though…"

"Okay, bye Daisuke-kun!"

Please just leave me alone. "Bye, Hikari-chan!" he waved before all but sprinting away. With each foot of distance, he found that much easier to breathe, the daggers embedded into his heart receding little by little.

Some days, he wished he could hate her.

(But he never could.)


"Sorry, I have some makeup assignments to do today because I'm failing math, next time?" he lied through his teeth with a smile as innocent as poison.


"My mom's not feeling well today and my dad's still out of town so I have to take care of her. Next time?" The words flowed as easily as salted, grey seawater.


"I think I caught the flu," he said over the phone, feigning a cough. "I-I'm not really feeling well…"


"A-Ah, oh it was today…? I thought it was next week, I can't believe I got the date wrong!" He hadn't. He'd been dreading it all week.


"Sorry, my dad wants to take me on a weekend road trip and he won't take no for an answer…"


The waves crashed down and the empty air hit his face and nothing had changed since the first day he was there. The taste of murky salt air in the air reached his mouth like poisonous, familiar nectar and he wished that, like the dust in the air, he too could fly away into nothingness.

The waves crashed down and it was like the first day he was there.

That was, until, Demon came flying down, hooded, devilish eyes meeting his own empty ones.


A/N: I'm not sure if I'll continue this, it just came to me on the spur of the moment but I do have a rough plot in my head. If there's enough interest, I'll definitely consider writing more! Let me know if you guys are interested :)