"You willingly picked Jason out of the bunch-"

"HEY"

"-you're practically family already."

Before Danny could respond, an alarm went off on the monitors.

"Red Robin calling back up at the docks."

Jason snapped up straight as he was the first to answer Tim. "What you got there, Replacement?"

Barbara, focusing on the issue at hand as well, switched on Tim's body camera so the three of them could see what was going on.

"Waylon and Nanaue seem to be going for…a swim? Together? Unclear if there are any victims nearby."

Jason held back a sigh. Two of his idiot friends with cannibalistic tendencies, together no less, was nothing but a bad sign. He didn't even know what Nanaue was doing up in Gotham but he had a bad feeling Harley might have invited him over and Waylon took the chance to 'bond' with a fellow of similar interests.

"Red, how many do you need?" Barbara asked while Jason was still lost in thought.

"Whoever can, should the situation escalate there won't be enough time to intervene safely."

Jason looked over to Danny as everybody started calling out. At this rate he'd have to jump in. "Care to join? You could meet another king." Would he need more Royalty friends? Probably. They could discuss their royal shit together and actually understand how that mess feels. Jason only got a taste of it before and he'd much rather stay away from the unholy hell that is Realms politics.

Danny looked a bit nervous, like he wanted to ask something but wasn't sure. Jason nudged Barbara, hoping Danny's little glances at her were enough of a silent message he wanted to ask her something. "I, um," he trailed off a bit, avoiding eye contact with the red head, "I'd like to stay here, if that's okay?"

Barbara smiled at him, that same smile she always gave Jason when she was in big sister mode. "Of course you can." She looked over at Jason and winked. "Jay, you're a big boy now. You can go solo for a while." He'll be safe and private talk hanging in the air as she turned back to face the monitors.

Jason felt a bit of worry. Tim and Steph were good at what they do but they are both horrible at avoiding conflict with the two cannibals. Either one of the two, but usually Stephanie, managed to say something to set them off. Jason really had to go and de-escalate after everybody else already tapped out. He wandered over to where Danny was sitting on the floor and wrapped the ghost boy up in a hug. "Are you sure?"

Danny nodded, looking up to give Jason a soft little kiss before nudging him in the direction of the window they entered from. "I'll be okay, darling. Go help the others."

Jason begrudgingly listened and walked over to the window. He looked back one last time. Danny was already fixated on the monitors again while Barbara gave him a little thumbs up. "Hood in, ETA 6 minutes." Sighing deeply he threw himself out the window, enjoying the feeling of the free fall for just a bit before pulling out his grappling hook and making his way over to the docks.

Clearly he didn't get there a minute too late as Tim and Stephanie were on a rooftop overlooking the pair in the water. He landed down next to them with a soft grunt. "What are we looking at?"

Tim snorted at him, masked eyes clearly giving him a once over. "What crawled up your ass?"

Stephanie, the everlasting gremlin that she was smirked at him too. "Did we interrupt your time with your boyfriend?" She dragged out that last word as if it was something he should be embarrassed about. Which for the record he was not, Danny was anything but something to hide. If he could he'd happily shout it across the rooftops for all to know.

Instead, he rolled his eyes as he took a closer look for himself. "Oh, I don't know. Did I interrupt your time with your ex?" Judging off the way both of them cringed slightly, he hoped they'd learn to behave next time. Chances were slim as they both heavily enjoyed leaning into younger sibling chaos but they did know how to behave sometimes.

From what he could see, Waylon and Nanaue were just vibing in the water. They weren't too far off from the docks so no need to get onto a boat or enter the water himself. "Stay back, I'll handle it." He made sure to add a little glare before he jumped down to the edge of the water. He took off his helmet, forgoing it in favor of being able to show more facial expressions for Nanaue's sake. The moment he walked out under the lamppost, Waylon seemed to have spotted him. With a small nudge to Nanaue, they both swam a bit closer so neither had to shout too much.

"Hood, fancy meeting you here."

The smugness in Waylon's voice was already getting on Jason's nerves. That man liked bantering about at much as Dick did in his Robin days. Undoubtably where their habits came from. "Waylon. We had a deal. No hunting people outside of business hours in the docks. If you have to, go to Metro or open waters, preferably international waters. Don't drag Nanaue into this too." Jason eyed Nanaue who stayed back a little bit. He seemed to be just playing in the water so no harm but it still set him on edge to have him out in the docks.

Waylon shrugged, letting himself float on his back a little while still looking at Jason. "I ain don nothing wrong. We just out here mindin our own business."

Jason looked over skeptical. Attitude aside, he knew the meta better than to take his word for it. Still, his attention kept getting dragged back to where Nanaue was. "Uhuh, sure." He mumbled before stepping a bit closer to the edge. "OI, Nanaue! Whatcha got there, buddy?"

Nanaue, to his credit, might be a bit slow at times but he had a pure soul. Eagerly he swam a bit closer. "Hai!" He waved before pointing to Waylon. "Look! I made new friend! He swim like me!" Jason smiled, unable to hold it back. "Yeah, I can see that. Whatcha doing here, Nana. You know swimming in the dark is against the rules here."

Nanaue looked a bit sad at that, looking down. "But swimming fun and new friend here to make sure everything okay. Hood can come swim too, then extra safe!" He smiled up again, showing way more teeth than what normal people would call safe.

The crime lord chuckled softly at his friend. "No, buddy, I can't come swim. I have a special somebody waiting for me to come back so I can't get wet right now." At Nanaue's crestfallen look he quickly added. "Next time, I promise."

Before Nanaue could say anything, Waylon just had to butt in. "Oh?" He smirked. "Got yerself some arm candy?" He eyed Jason much like Tim had earlier. Knowing his horrible luck, he could probably still smell Danny on him. "Ah, going down that lane, ey?"

Jason had to physically hold himself back from pinching the bridge of his nose. "Waylon, shut your bitch ass mouth, I swear."

Waylon sat back up in mock surprise as he reached over to 'cover' Nanaue's ears. "Hey! Not in front of King Baby! He might start copying you!" He scandalously cried out, the theatrics only making Jason regret playing nice even more.

"Much learn me. Hood help learn to read!" Nanaue looked so proud of himself, enough to make the tension fade a little.

"Yes, Nana very smart indeed." Jason crouched down. Towering over royalty felt a bit too rude, even if Nanaue wouldn't notice it. "You know, he's a king too. I'm sure he'd love to be friends."

At that, the shark god looked up and gasped. "King Candy? More friends!" He exclaimed, floundering about a little as he got overly excited for a minute. "Does King Candy also need swimming lessons?"

Jason froze mid chuckle, focus snapping back on Nanaue. "What do you mean too?"

Seemingly remembering an important detail, Waylon looked a bit nervous as he tried to explain. "Yeah, bout that-" He didn't get to finish as Nanaue happily interrupted him. "Yeah! Big one help with swimming lesson!"

That explained absolutely nothing. "Can't you swim already, though?" The nervous look and distance Waylon was taking did nothing to ease his growing worry.

Nanaue, however, noticed absolutely nothing of this. With all the pride shark god royalty could have, he reached down into the water, backfin being the only indication he was still there. Barely a moment later, he pulled out a limp Weasel from the water and held him above his head like a trophy. "We help dumb friend go blub blub!"

"WHERE THE FUCK DID HE COME FROM?" Tim shouted clearly enough for half of Gotham to hear as he jumped down from their perch.

"Nanaue," Jason groaned exasperated, "Weasel can't swim!" He reached over to the ring buoy that was hanging off the edge next to him.

While Waylon at least had the decency to face palm at their mistake, Nanaue only beamed with more pride. "Me know! That's why swimming lesson!"

Jason haphazardly attached the claw of his grappling hook onto the ring before throwing it out. "Nanaue, buddy, just, put him in the circle, yeah?" Following his direction, Nanaue did just that. Weasel went in head first into the ring. Jason willed the scream down, trying to stay calm enough and stay gentle. He's doing his best after all. "No, no make sure his head isn't in the water, he can't breathe like you." With a bit of assistance from Waylon, they finally managed to get Weasel into the ring stable enough to move. "Good, good, imma pull him in now, okay?" Nanaue nodded and swam next to Weasel as Jason manually pulled the creature closer to land.

Tim, for all he was worth, helped by attaching his own grapple to the thing's foot before hauling Weasel out of the water. With a resounding wet slosh, Weasel hit the ground. "Do we call an ambulance or animal control?" Tim asked absentmindedly as he poked Weasel with his bo. Somewhat to everybody's regret, Weasel violently coughed up water.

Jason had to look away while he spun around his grappling hook to get rid of the extra water. "Oh for fucks sake, why does this nasty ass always gotta be fucking naked? Is some basic pants too much asked? I don't need to see his bits juggling around like that." He was going to have nightmares for weeks now. Is this his punishment for teasing Dick so much about all the times he purposely interrupted his alone time with the man's partners?

Of course, Waylon just had to add onto his misery, smirking wildly as he got close enough to rest his elbows onto the dock's edge, puling himself out of the water slightly. "I bet I know whose bits you'd rather see."

Jason kicked him in the face just hard enough to make the cackling reptilian drift off into the water again. "Waylon. I swear. I'll tell Harley and get you banned from poker nights for a year and tell Bane you tried some shit with his iguana that one time."

The man in question at least had the decency to look alarmed as his cackling came to a sudden end. "Don't you dare!"

"Then behave!"

Now it was Waylon's turn to pout as he crossed his arms. "You're not my parent, you can't tell me what to do."

Jason looked up to the sky and cursed whatever ancient being was messing with him today. "You're literally old enough to be my dad. The fuck do you even mean?"

Before it could escalate any further, Nanaue, bless his soul, interrupted. "What is iguana?"

Jason shared a look with Waylon, both coming to the same conclusion. "Not nam nam."

Nanaue looked up excitedly, completely missing the point. "Nam nam?" He practically beamed with excitement again at the prospect of something to eat.

"No, not nam nam!"

Nanaue looked disappointed for a moment before tentatively looking up again, messing around with the webbing between his fingers. "What about other nam nam?"

Cursing under his breath, Jason did his best to stay positive. "Oh ancients help me. Whatcha wanna nam nam, buddy?"

"I don't know."

Jason actually groaned a little this time, tiredly running his hands through his hair and just leaving them there for the time being. "How about you go and head over to Ivy's? I'm sure she can help you pick a nam nam."

Luckily for everybody involved, he seemed happy with that suggestion. "Can I bring new big friend?" He tried to make what Jason had come to learn as Nanaue's version of puppy dog eyes. Jason was about 40% sure that the shark god knew exactly how to get what he wanted sometimes.

Sighing before sending a glare at Waylon, Jason relented. "So long as people are not nam nam, yes. And remember, Ivy is boss. You listen to Ivy, not new friend." Jason smirked as Waylon flipped him off. With a soft 'aww', Nanaue started to swim away with Waylon following closely being, just so he could throw up a few more middle fingers without the shark god seeing. Something Jason gladly returned.

Resisting the urge to flop down himself, Jason picked up his helmet again and walked over to the other two vigilantes. "Got somebody coming for that?" He gestured to the wet furball still laying down on the ground. He was not going to even look at Weasel for the next few months without those cursed images popping back in his mind.

Tim seemed distracted but at least an overly giggly Stephanie nodded. Not wanting to be here any longer than he had to, he left the two to babysit the exhibitionist. Unfortunately for him, however, he all too soon found out why they were so distracted and giggly. Stephanie had filmed the entire thing and sent it to their group chat. Of course the queen of chaos decided today was a good day to mess with him.

Spoiler
4

Nightwing
aww look at jay acting all grown up. Before u know it he'll have his own flock of fletchings

Oh they grow up so fast

Spoiler
I cant tell if he is trying to parent king shark or pull the older brother card on him

Does that even work when Nanaue is royalty

RedRobin
well he's dating royalty so he is royal by association?

RedHood
I will shoot you all if u dint stfu

Nightwing
dint

Spoiler
dint

Oracle
dint

RedRobin
dint

Orphan
dint

Robin
stop making a fool of yourselves and fovcus on patrol

RedRobin
fovcus

Oracle
fovcus

Orphan
fovcus

Nightwing
fovcus

Spoiler
fovcus

Robin
I have reconsidered my stance. I shall assist Todd in ending your existences

RedHood
Next time brat, I have other shit to do tonight

Spoiler
( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)

Shoving his phone back into his pocket with a huff, Jason decided to take a small detour before heading back to the Clocktower. He definitely needed something to punch before meeting up with his boyfriend again.