PS10
"Yes Roy, I know the test was over a few hours ago," Joanne looked at the front door waiting for Johnny to walk in. "I…maybe he went to celebrate."
"No Joanne, Johnny wouldn't celebrate, not now," Roy's heart started racing; his friend was hours overdue. He could picture him hurt and bleeding on his damn motorcycle.
"Roy you worry too much," his wife tried to calm him. "He's a grown man and…"
"I know Joanne but you know how he gets just…" Roy was worried and bit his lower lip and sighed.
The door opened and an ashen faced, shaky John Gage walked through the door. Joanne gasped and Roy heard it.
"Joanne? Joanne is that Johnny? Put him on the phone," Roy ordered thinking the worst of his friend.
"Tired Joanne," Johnny waved off Joanne. "Tell Roy I'll call him later." He needed a hot shower and a nap. His last episode exhausted him and he didn't want his friends to worry.
"Roy, Johnny said he'll call you back. I have to go," Joanne told her husband. "I love you."
"I love you too babe," Roy hung up the phone and stood there.
"Hey Roy how'd Johnny do?" a curious Mike Stoker asked.
"Roy?" Mike asked again as he saw a worried frown go on his friends face.
"Don't know, Johnny will call in a bit," Roy headed towards the backyard.
Johnny let the hot water wash away his fears; the horrible sickening feeling had returned no doubt because of Brackett. His hands had stopped shaking and he took deep cleansing breaths. Out of the shower he toweled off and pulled his robe on, once in his room he changed into clean underclothes, since his old ones were sweat soaked. He crawled into bed, exhausted and worn and quickly went to sleep.
##########
Roy was glad they were toned out; it was now ten o'clock and the cap said there had been no messages. Sitting on the couch, he chewed on his lower lip as he petted Henry. So far he still didn't know anything, except what he read in the papers. Gage had been more closed mouth when things started going awry. Yet, he didn't want help from him, saying he didn't want him to get tainted by his mistakes. His partner didn't make mistakes!
The paramedic absentmindedly scratched Henry's ears, trying not to think of Johnny. His friend hat been vindicated, but at what cost? Johnny was no longer the happy, carefree man he knew. Gage's smile never seemed to go to his eyes and pain and worry seemed to be his friend's constant companion.
Sighing, Roy realized he would have to wait until the morning to find out how well his friend did. DeSoto had no illusions; Johnny kicked butt and took names. He would just have to find out the finer details.
######
Johnny smelled coffee, opened his eyes to see sunlight streaming through his curtains. His head hurt and he hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. No doubt Roy was eating bricks worrying about him. Stretching he threw on his jeans and a shirt, going barefoot out to the living room.
"Morning," Joanne smiled as she watched Johnny sit down to breakfast. The children were especially quiet as they ate and quickly headed to school.
Roy kissed his kids goodbye as he opened the door to find Johnny sipping coffee. Joanne cleaned the table and left the two men alone. The sandy haired man sat down and looked at his friend.
"So how'd it go?" His hazel eyes boring into his friends looking for some needed answers.
"How what go?" Johnny stared into his coffee cup trying to find his center again.
"How'd what go? Geesh, Johnny how'd did it go? Did you pass? What the hell did they say?" Roy was losing his patience and concern over his distraught friend.
Gage shrugged. "I know I passed the physical 'cause my proctors were pissed. Every one I passed their frowns got deeper and then when they showed me my next test they practically growled at me. I showed the bastards!" He gave a small grin almost reminisce of the old Johnny Gage he knew once.
"So what about the paramedic exam?" Roy bit his lower lip; Dixie had mentioned Brackett would be gone the rest of the afternoon with no reason given.
"It was Brackett, Roy. Those…Brackett…but I showed him." Johnny held in his anger in difference to Roy, "I think I did a hell of a lot better than the first time I took that damn test. I even had time to change one answer, not that it's going to matter. I'll know everything in a few days. It's all I know," Johnny stood up from the table. "I think I'm going to run."
"Wait Johnny," Roy stood up. "How about I join you?"
"No man, you look beat. Really Roy I'm okay. I just hate waiting, you know," Johnny grinned and headed to his room to change.
############
Johnny watched as Roy headed off to work; he so badly wanted to be the one going back to work. He had never really let himself think he wouldn't get his job back, the one thing that defined him as to who and what he was. Gage was thankful for Roy DeSoto's determination and drive to make the paramedics a reality.
Looking at the backyard from the deck it was in desperate need of a mow, like his hair would be soon, however he still didn't know what to do. A few days Brackett had said, what's a few days? Was it two, three, he thought as his insides churned again.
Joanne watched as Johnny took his frustration out on the lawn. She had only known what was going on in the papers, since Roy told her he had said nothing. From the very beginning she could tell it was a bad run, her husband had told her as much. Johnny was working overtime to save for a house and then it happened. Admittedly she was worried when Roy chose Gage for a partner but his undying loyalty and light hearted demeanor made him easy to be around. Now she didn't know this man, with his shaved head and his constant worry. Roy had told her Johnny had only thought once of quitting the paramedics whereas he had considered it several times. Now she hoped he would become a paramedic again and prove the department wrong.
##########
Roy felt uneasy as he changed for his shift. Johnny seemed more withdrawn and quiet ever since he took the tests. He knew something had gone down between him and Brackett but he had never said what. All the time of Gage troubles he refused to divulge any thing about that night. The papers didn't say much and his friend had said even less.
Maybe it was that, Johnny had come back with more questions then answers. He had gently prodded his friend to talk about what happened to get him suspended, fired, certification and licensed yanked not to mention sued with no results. John Gage had always been a fighter in more ways than one. His friend had no qualms to send off letter to the brass, issuing complaints and ideas to improve the paramedic program. He would rather go with the flow and not rock the waters.
############
Johnny quickly changed into his running clothes, finding relief in the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other. Seeing Roy go off to work only reminded how badly he needed and wanted to be a paramedic again. Ever since he had lost his job he himself felt lost. Of course he would never admit to Roy what went down on that horrible rainy night, his former partner had to work with the staff of Rampart.
Once out in the street, Gage began a gentle pace for himself, stretching his limbs further. He tried to clear his mind of the past few days, the exams and whether or not he would return to duty as a firefighter/paramedic. Blowing out his breath, he increased his speed and obtuse thoughts hit his brain. The bad call, his best friend and worst of all the hearing. Men and women whom he thought he trusted and were his friends, seemingly turned on him in an instant. All right he knew he was insecure and maybe his social manners lacked sometimes but it wasn't a reason to pounce on him like a lion did on a zebra. His heart raced and he ran faster, his legs tightening as his speed increased.
##########
Roy was losing his patience with his anal-retentive partner. He now realized what he missed with Johnny. Gage's sheer impulsiveness and heart on his sleeve made him a change of pace from himself. Brice was starting to get on his nerves.
He found Brice going through the drug box, again.
"I all ready did that Brice," DeSoto kneeled in front of the open drug box on the station floor. His eyes bore into his clueless partner.
"You can never be too careful DeSoto, you might have overlooked something," Craig was intent on the box; pushing his glasses back up his nose.
Roy slammed it shut. "I said I already did an inventory along with the biophone check. Now why don't you hang hose with Chet?" He crossed his arms in annoyance and then stood up.
"DeSoto I fail to see what relevance getting angry or upset about Gage can do..." Brice stood up and looked him in the eyes.
"Shut up Brice. You have no freaking idea what you're talking about," DeSoto stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You haven't a clue what it is to have your whole fricken life ruined by one stupid victim. Do the damn hose—or do you need help getting there?" Roy's eyes narrowed at the clueless paramedic.
DeSoto picked up the drug box, shoved it in the compartment and slammed the door shut. "And don't lock it again!"
##########
Johnny picked up his pace a little, recalling all the good times he had with Roy; glad he had met him in the first place. Being a paramedic was one of the good things to happen to him along with becoming a firefighter. Especially meeting Roy DeSoto, his best friend, partner, mentor and brother all rolled into one. He blew out his breath again, knowing he could have never gotten Roy involved in the awful mess he landed in. Gage knew they used him as a scapegoat since he had been causing trouble, the letters, stopping by headquarters trying to make something great spectacular.
##########
Roy leaned on the squad face forward, his hands resting lightly on the hood, his thoughts on his best friend. Johnny had come back but he wasn't the same man, Joanne and even the kids knew it. He reasoned once Gage became a paramedic again the old Johnny he once knew would resurface. His quietness and somber exterior was because he had missed being a paramedic, a job DeSoto knew he was born to do.
"Uh Roy," Stanley looked at his senior paramedic staring off into space. "How is John?"
"Huh?" Roy looked confused at his boss.
"How's John doing?" Stanley placed his hands on the squad.
DeSoto shrugged. "Hard to say Cap. I mean how would you feel if your whole life rested on two tests?" He bit his lower lip. "Johnny's doing okay; I guess…it's just…
Tones sounded and the squad was off for its first run of the shift.
##########
Johnny ran even faster as emotions, fears and expectations hit him full force. He really hadn't thought about life after if he failed his tests. Driven to come back to the department, he thought only of returning to a job and career he loved with all his heart and soul. Sweat ran down his back and his legs burned with the added pressure as each foot pounded the hard pavement.
##########
Roy nursed his coffee at the base station after bringing their first victim of the day in. He hadn't told Johnny how he had distanced himself from the staff at Rampart. He was sure they knew John Gage was back, but he hadn't told them, not even bringing up his name.
"Hey Roy," Dixie called as she came back to the nurses desk and pulled out a chart. She brushed her hair back from her face and looked seriously at the paramedic.
"Hey, Dix. We're going to need supplies once Brice gets here," Roy checked his watch. "Must be held up in traffic," he lamented and took a sip of his coffee.
"So Roy," Dixie smiled, "How are things?" She crossed her arms and cocked her head, making sure she made eye contact.
"Things?" Roy put the cup down, looked at her and gave a feint smile. "Things, huh."
"Yes Joanne, the kids," Johnny, "Those sort of things," She smiled again.
"Oh those things! They're doing great you know. School is good a long with everything else," he bit his lower lip knowing exactly what she was asking.
"Oh I'm glad to hear that, really," Dixie looked at him as Brice rolled in.
"Got the list Brice?" Roy asked suddenly wanting to get as far away as possible.
"Yes of course I have the list, DeSoto," Brice shook his head annoyed at his partner's lack of patience. Producing it, Dixie quickly filled it without any further conversation.
"Ready?" Roy said with more annoyance than necessary and they quickly left.
Brice was relatively quiet on the drive back to the station.
##########
Johnny ran faster and faster, finding the sheer rush of adrenaline filling his empty heart. It wasn't like going to a fire or rescue but it was pretty damn close. He just didn't know what he would do if he didn't pass and become a paramedic again. Sure he could go to other cities and counties but would they take him, would they want him? Fear and confusion filled his over-stressed mind.
##########
Backing into the station, Roy's thoughts turned to Johnny. Brice made a quick exit and he found himself in the locker room. Sitting on the bench he looked at once was Gage's locker. Closing his eyes he could remember the morning Johnny got suspended.
Roll call had finished.
"Gage could I see you in my office," Stanley said in a somber mood.
Johnny slowly walked to the office his face a mask. He was walking like he knew.
The men started talking and watched the door to the Cap's office close
"What the hell did Gage do now?" Chet was in his usual form.
"Nothing," Roy defended his best friend and paramedic partner. He knew for the past few weeks, Johnny had withdrew from him. Refusing dinner invitations and such.
"How would you know Roy? Rumor has it…"
The four men watched as Johnny walked out of the office with a box and headed toward the locker room. Roy quickly broke free and followed Johnny in.
Sighing Johnny sat on the bench, opened his locker, then his bottom locker. He first changed and then put both boots in the bottom of the box.
"Johnny what are you doing?" Roy was getting concerned.
Gage looked him straight in the eyes. "I got suspended Roy. I'm packing up my locker, is all."
"Suspended? Why in the hell were you suspended you didn't do anything wrong," Roy stood up not liking Gage's demeanor.
"Well pally that's a difference of opinion and I'm outvoted," Johnny continued to fill up the box with the contents of his locker. He took the Smokey poster carefully off the locker, rolled it up and put it reverently in the box, and then he folded his pants and laid his shirts on top. He had all ready turned in his badge and paramedic pin all he had left was his name tag on his shirt. Johnny looked at his paramedic pocket holder and then threw it in the box.
"Johnny," Roy watched and took his best friend's box.
"Roy, I can do this by myself," Johnny reached for the box and then stopped.
"I'll walk you out to your car. We're down until your replacement gets here," Roy bit his lower lip and they walked in silence to the backyard.
Johnny opened the back seat of his car and gently took the box from Roy.
"You're going to come back you know," Roy smiled, "and then you packed up your locker for nothing." and sounded hopeful.
Gage rubbed his eyes and looked at his best friend, "Roy," he offered his right hand.
Roy was confused "Johnny you're coming back!" He said it more forcefully.
"It was a pleasure and an honor working with your Roy," Johnny again offered his right hand.
Having no choice Roy took it. "You're coming back partner, so don't get any funny ideas of transferring."
"Roy," Johnny looked at the ground and then his best friend with a gentle smile" Sure Roy I'll be back."
"Sure you will, now call me if you need anything okay? Don't make yourself a stranger. Remember you're supposed to come over for dinner tomorrow night," Roy reminded his friend.
Gage climbed into his Rover shut the door and waved as he pulled out of the station parking lot. That was the last time he had seen Johnny at the station.
Tones sounded forcing Roy out of his memories and he quickly headed towards the squad.
##########
Johnny felt his lungs explode forcing himself to stop running. His breath ragged he leaned his hands on his calves and took long, deep breaths, filling his oxygen starved lungs. He watched as his sweat dripped onto the pavement, he slowly stood up and tried to find his bearings. Once he knew where he was he turned around and slowly limped back to the DeSoto's.
##########
Joanne was vacuuming when she heard the phone. Her heart skipped a beat hoping her husband wasn't hurt. A fireman's wife she always had to control herself anytime the phone rang and her husband was at work. Turning off the machine she walked to the phone.
"DeSoto residence, Joanne speaking," Joanne said into the phone.
##########
Johnny finally made it back to the house; he had even jogged some as his muscles loosened up again. Opening the door, he couldn't wait for a nice hot shower.
"Johnny!" Joanne practically ran to him, "headquarters called." She had the biggest grin on her face.
"Headquarters?" Gage was still a bit shaken from his run.
"Johnny!" Joanne exclaimed, "Headquarters, Los Angeles County Fire Department Headquarters."
"Oh," Johnny frowned, "What did they want?" His arms hung limply by his side.
"Johnny, they want you to report to them as soon as possible. Isn't that great news?" Joanne beamed.
Gage didn't have the heart to tell her the Chief would get twice as much satisfaction telling him he failed then if he passed.
Plastering a smile on his face, he looked at his hostess, "Guess I'll take a shower then."
"And I'll make some lunch for you Johnny; you can't go there without something in your stomach," she said briskly. No matter the outcome, he would have to eat.
"Thanks Joanne," Johnny called as headed to the shower.
Thank you for your patience as I work on my stories. Unfortunately real life has intruded with a bang! I will be pretty much busy until the end of the year and beyond! Tax season beckons along with the duties required of me. At least I'm recertified for my Notary; yes I'm a Jill of all Trades along with a few other surprises. I will post when I can since my ABSOUTLEY, INCREDIABLE AND FANTASTIC BETA IS BACK! She knows who she is.
Again, thanks to all my loyal readers and I will post when I can. Take care and God Bless.
