Uncas stood a moment in the stillness, letting the things he had just heard fully soak in. It seemed Erin had scored another point with him in openly disclosing Cora's refusal of Duncan.
Erin's eyes drifted to the small window, she could hear soft chatter from outside as people passed by, simple noises that had been drowned out by the cannons, which had thankfully now come to an end. She could only hope it would be for the rest of the night so all could find some respite before what would come tomorrow.
Uncas finally took a few steps towards the cell, his face held a golden sheen in the diffused lantern light.
Erin turned back to him and her hands tightened around the bars, she wanted so much in that moment to reach out to him, but held herself back, knowing it would be a selfish act for her own need of comfort.
"Are you alright?" Her eyes grazed across him, lingering upon his torso.
"I'm fine. It was not a hard blow." He touched his lower abdomen as if to prove his words. "Cora spoke for me. Colonel Munro is still grateful to me and my father, less so to my brother."
For a reason Erin didn't really understand, for a moment she had feared he would have become cold and distant from her, but the warm cadence of his voice told her she had been wrong, they were still comrades in arms.
"I was worried," Erin said, pushing herself closer to the bars so she could whisper just for his ears. "You should just have let them take me, we kinda knew it might happen. You have to stop putting yourself in danger. It's a bad habit."
He laughed softly, a hissing sound, and shook his head, telling her silently her request was ridiculous.
"No, I mean it." She reached out then, grasping the cuff of his shirt. "No more playing the hero. No more defending the damsel in distress!"
He was smiling, a smug self-satisfied thing at the corner of his mouth, that Erin thought was all too debonair for the situation, like he'd won a prize at the local town fair.
"Are you listening?" Her voice rose in accusation.
"I am listening," he replied, in a tone that was very clear, that just because he heard her didn't mean he had to agree or obey.
Erin let go of his shirt, her mind wandering back to everything that had happened tonight.
"Do you think I did the right thing?" she whispered, reaching for the first thing in her mind, eyes glancing to Cora and Nathaniel, tone low and conspiratorial.
"The right thing?"
"Not telling Cora everything? About Alice." She knew he did, this was a pointless conversation, she wouldn't be surprised if he wished he had never heard any of it either.
But Uncas seemed willing to play. He looked over to where his brother and Cora were in a passionate conversation, interposed by lips pressing and embraces.
"Yes." He was candid. "It may make things harder for her if she knows what you think will happen."
"What I know will happen," Erin corrected sternly. Suddenly, and without comprehension why, wanting to be abrasive and contrary. "At least in part..." she adjusted, feeling unwarrantably irritated by his very presence.
Uncas shook his head. "No, what you think. We are changing things." There was wisdom in his words but Erin found she didn't want to heed it.
When she stubbornly didn't reply he continued. "You changed the Camerons' story..."
"Yes... yes, but..."
"So maybe now, you changed things for all of us too." He talked over her words until she had no choice but to still and listen to his.
"But I didn't do..." Erin took the first sign of silence to object.
He let out a noise of exasperated displeasure and shook his head a little in frustration, and she felt it too, they were pulling in different directions.
She crossed her arms over her chest as amour against his disapproval. "I guess time will tell." She could feel the strange feeling of obstinacy trying to win out.
"It will." His reply was brusque.
She let out a sigh, knowing she was being unreasonable. "Do you think Munro will trust me then?" She wanted to believe it was possible, and she needed to move their discussion along, so they weren't constantly chafed by each other.
"No. He is too proud. He may heed your warning if what you foresaw comes to pass at the parley, but I don't think he will ever trust you." Uncas sounded so certain that it left Erin in no doubt he was right.
"Well, heeding is enough," Erin said, with a deep, bone weary sigh.
"What is, will be," Uncas said, in his own tongue.
Erin felt the tension ease and a comfortable friendliness pass between them with those words. "That is true."
A little ripple of surprise still glinted through his eyes when he knew she understood him, and seeing this look once again made her smile, welcome warmth rushing through her at the renewed notion that she was no longer alone here.
"I only... I wish I could do more. Be sure that things could be changed." She relented, lowering her barriers, wanting his words of comfort.
His hand reached, covering hers which rested upon the iron bar, and offering her solace.
"What is, will be," he repeated, and Erin felt his empathy more keenly than she could express.
She looked up, smiling at him, thanking him silently for just being there, and those deep dark honey eyes held her to him, a luminous need speaking from their depths and asking her to answer.
Erin suddenly felt very uncomfortable, she had not resolved so many things between them, and this was something she had to address, even if it left her feeling lemon sour. The easiness she'd felt in his company began to dissolve like sugar left out in heavy rain.
"Uncas..." She breathed his name like a remorseful prayer and he responded, hearing that mournful call, moving his body closer in sympathy. "What happened, with us, between us." Her words were bashfully whispered and clumsily chosen. "I am sorry for it."
He rested his weight against the bars, leaning in to her despite the metal separating them, keeping her sheepish confidence.
"Because... you were sick?" He seemed so concerned and credulous in this moment, despite the fact that she felt she had never given him any reason to be so kind. Guilt bubbled within her stomach and her heartbeat quickened, feeling like an unpleasant flutter within her chest.
"No, well, yes, I am sorry about that. It wasn't my finest hour. The brandy, it..."
He caught her eyes again, stilling her falling into rambling and held her in place, seemingly demanding of her answer. To what, she wasn't sure, because she didn't know the question that was secreted in those depths, or perhaps, she didn't really want to know.
She broke the bond with effort, dragging her own gaze to the ground. "I'm sorry because I shouldn't have kissed you, or... any of that... stuff."
"Stuff?" He laughed softly at this word as if it were strange and amusing.
"I'm sorry that we... I shouldn't have... It was..." She was starting to ramble again.
"You regret it?" he said, his face unchanged and calm, like the storm she'd brought into his life had never even happened; but his eyes... she could see it had changed something. She'd given him the knowledge of his own fate, how could things not change?
"No... yes... no." Erin covered her face with her hands and groaned then grasped the bars with a little more force than she intended. "Look, okay! You were not mine to kiss, or any of that...stuff. It was wrong," she finished, rather limply.
He considered her words, brow furrowed and then he was silent for a long moment. "You keep saying 'I belong here' or 'I will do this', as if I have no choice."
"Well, you don't." Erin shrugged, clinging to her truth, the story she knew. "It's what I keep trying to tell you! We might be able to change some things, but I don't think we can change everything about it. Like, you... your motivations... the reasons... emotions... things like that. The core of the story has to stay the same... I think."
He shook his head, his hair dancing around his shoulders with the frustration this conversation was now bringing him. "And I get no say in this?"
"Look," Erin tried, clutching at words to defend her actions, "even when I did change things before, the story still continued down the same path afterwards, just with small changes. Like I said before, we can change the details but not the picture, understand?"
"No." Uncas was surly, as if he refused to even try.
"Look, okay! I know you feel something for Alice!" She may as well of screamed 'eureka!' at him, as if discovering his secret villainous plan. Instead her loud voice drew all eyes, seen and unseen. Stillness, and then the mood returned to normal.
"Do I?" His brows rose in a mocking reply to her accusation.
"Yes, that is why all this happens! Besides, I saw you both, in the infirmary." That jealous sea was flowing into her head in unpleasant waves and she fought it back with a tiny bucket in her mind. "You looked very cosy, so don't try and deny there isn't something going on."
He looked vexed. "She came to apologize," he said, very matter of fact, and Erin crossed her arms again, waiting for his excuses. "For you!" His eyes narrowed at her, bringing back to both their minds the whole 'baby eating' incident, and Erin flushed, her posture yielding in defeat. "She was embarrassed she'd even given your stories any thought and she hoped you had not put any ridiculous tales about her in my head!"
Erin bit her lip, feeling completely admonished, and then... a thought!
"Wait, she gave you something, a gift, a love letter, I saw it!" She sounded like a child crowing over a victory.
Uncas gave a strained huffed laugh as if finding her comical, foolish and insufferable all within the same moment. "Do you mean this?" He reached to one of the pouches at his belt and opened it, bringing out a white cloth covered object.
"It may have looked like that," Erin said, with a sour look.
He laughed again, she knew he could read her so plainly.
He removed the cloth, revealing a piece of decadent fruit cake.
"So it was just... apology cake?" Erin stared at it in disbelief.
"Yes, apology cake." He seemed very amused by her.
Was everything she'd thought she'd seen between them all just her own bias? But this all couldn't be right, she'd read their story, she knew it like her own heartbeat!
"You can't tell me you never had feelings for her can you?" she pressed, unwilling to let go.
"Feelings?" He frowned, the humour gone, seeming to dislike the path of conversation she was trying to drag him down.
"When you met her on the George Road, rescued her, and she shouted at you for setting the horses free."
His eyes widened just a little, his lips pressing into an expressionless line as he considered her words.
"You restrained her, and, and... your eyes met, and..."
"Stop," he said, with a terse flick of his head. "It is strange to hear you speak of this when you were not there." He glanced away, trying to gain back his composure.
"Look, no, listen to me," Erin whispered, "you watched her at the triple falls, and you felt something!" Her moment of truth felt like it had no jubilation at all, it left her isolated from her own feelings, as she tried to prove to this man she herself felt something for, that he in fact desired another.
He glared at her, eyes narrowed and harsh. "Yes," he finally said, as if the word had been pulled out of him unwillingly. "I felt something."
Erin's heart dropped, even though she knew these revelations had been a foregone conclusion. She took a deep breath, knowing she couldn't back down now; Uncas was right, 'what is, will be', and she had to accept that just as he did.
"What was it you felt?" she pushed, wanting to hear him admit it.
He didn't speak for a long time, his eyes upon the ground, expression in far away thought. For a moment Erin thought he wouldn't say anything at all.
"She seemed so... helpless, and..." he began, and paused, searching for the right words, and Erin felt her heart sink further, acidity clawing up her throat, but she remained still, waiting for him to continue. "Not afraid... but in awed wonder of all around her, like a young doe taking its first look at the world. It held much beauty. She held much beauty," he said, avoiding looking at Erin directly. "For my people, honour means everything. I wanted to honour her, protect her," he looked up and added a little hastily "I wanted nothing in return."
Erin shifted, uncomfortable with his confession. "I was wrong," she mumbled, a little unkindly.
"Wrong?" His eyes found hers, the question gleaming.
"You aren't a prince, you are a damn knight in shining armour." She sighed displeased even though he was confirming her own bias.
He made a noise of encouragement for her to continue, curious to her meaning.
She glanced away, avoiding his eyes again. "They call it courtly love in my time, although it's older than this... than your time I mean, it's really old." Erin cringed a little at her own limp attempts at explaining any of this. "A knight would do all for the mere notice of one lady, nobility and chivalry drove actions, the reward a glance, a chaste smile... it was all about spiritual love I guess... rather than," she hesitated, glancing up at him with a self-conscious air, "erm... well... physical. The way you talk about it... I guess it just reminded me of that."
Uncas cocked his head, his expression stating he did not fully grasp this concept. "I don't know the ways of these old tales, I won't pretend to understand them either." He paused, and Erin took the break to recklessly pursue her point.
"But... I was right then? You did feel something. Was it... Do you..." The words felt dry and listless upon her tongue, unwilling to form the question.
He shook his head, a subtle gesture. "I..." He seemed unsure how to continue.
Now it was Erin's turn to urge him to go on with a soft sound of coaxing.
"I felt freedom," he said simply.
Erin stared at him a moment. "Are you telling me Alice is your wild card?"
"I don't understand."
Erin sighed. "Your escape, your rebellion? This want you had was of escaping, right?" She was trying so hard to understand him that she felt she was tying herself in knots.
Uncas studied her face a moment, his look somewhere between disagreement, annoyance and comprehension. "I felt a similar way when I met you. You too are very different," he said, dismissing her accusations. "Although I thought you were a..."
"You thought I was a what?" Erin's eyes hardened, knowing his next words would not be a compliment.
"An ill omen," he said in Mohican.
Erin tried not to feel too insulted.
"I knew there was something... wrong about you. I was right," he finished, with a small flash of his teeth as he smiled.
"Wrong? Thanks." She tried her best not to sound churlish.
"I saw a similar thing in you, to what I saw in Miss Munro."
Erin eyed him, curious and afraid of what his next words could be. "What was that?"
"A different world. Curiosity." He shrugged. "I liked the way you spoke of the world you knew, even though I didn't trust you. I wanted to know your secrets, not just for the truth but because I wanted to understand you, your world. Now I understand."
"But... No... Look," Erin felt his words snake up her spine and bristle through skin in unpleasant tendrils. "Your love story with Alice inspires so many people!" Erin said, trying to make him understand. "She's a rich white woman and you are Mohican, it is a love that tears apart boundaries, and class, and so much more. You are from different worlds but love wins out!" Her words were full of passion.
"By us both dying?"
"Yes, but you aren't seeing the symbolism!" she huffed. "Your story means a lot to people."
"To you?"
"Yes. It meant everything to me at one time. My hardest time."
"I'm glad my dying helped you." He was being glib, and Erin knew she couldn't make him understand, not really.
"Look!" Erin tried again, and he lost all patience.
"You keep telling me to look! Where am I to look?!"
His anger flared her own, and she snapped back. "It's just an expression! Like 'Listen' or 'See here' or... I don't know, 'Hark'!"
He shook his head as if unsure if he should laugh or turn away in exasperation.
Erin took in a long slow breath, knowing she had to defuse all this right now. "I don't want you to die. That's why I'm here. Right?"
"But in your story I do die!" His nostrils flared in indignation that she seemed so unwilling to listen. "Isn't that what makes it so important in your time? This tragic love that is struck down just as it began?" Uncas was pushing just as passionately for her to understand his words.
Erin hadn't really considered this and found she hated the question.
"So if you change my story, if I don't die, what is left of this great love story of yours?"
Erin didn't have an answer.
"What if stopping our deaths means there is no story? What if Miss Munro goes back to her world and I go back to mine? What if death is all that this love you speak of is really about?"
Erin felt slightly sick.
He ran a hand through his hair and turned away, exhaling heavily before turning back to her, eyes bright.
"Do you still want to save me despite this?" he asked.
Erin's eyes finally met his, tears pooled again and she tried to blink them back, she'd done far too much crying lately. She looked away, shame burning in her cheeks. He was right, if she destroyed Alice and Uncas' sacrifice she would change the reason why their story happened in the first place, why it had been written, why it had endured.
It wasn't a love story until it was a tragedy.
If they survived, they'd just be another two people in this brutal world, that lived out their lives, together or not, their story wouldn't be told without the romantic melodrama. Erin realized some deep part of her had already known this and had been fighting tooth and nail to not allow herself to see the truth clearly.
His hands reached through the bars to clasp her shoulders and he shook her firmly but gently, bringing her back to his face, his eyes. "Do you?"
Erin felt a tear slip down her cheek, just as the Uncas she knew from the books was slipping away. She couldn't save them both.
"I do want to save you," she breathed.
His hands gripped harder, fingers digging, almost hurting, holding her tightly, preventing her from fleeing, as if he could sense that was her most ardent wish in this moment.
"Then save me." He tugged her to him, their bodies so close she could smell his wood smoke scent. "Help change my story."
She could feel the decision hovering between them. To change his story was in theory easy, so very easy, and yet it meant she had to let go of so much.
She reached for him through the bars, arms enclosing his middle, cheek pushed to his chest as she finally allowed herself the comfort she sorely needed. Uncas' warm hand consoled her with a steady gentle, rhythmic pat to her back, understanding in his own way how hard this had been for her.
Erin's tears fell as she made her choice and bid farewell to all that had been.
/
A/N
Another Friday, hello :)
Quite a talky chapter but I hope it was enjoyable.
I've already mentioned how I wanted this story to flip my own fandom ideals on their head and I hope that is coming across in some way as these oncoming chapters are revealed. I feel I can discuss a little more here, now this chapter is done, although if any of this is interesting or not I have no idea lol Feel free to skip it.
Just as my Uncas here is wondering about how this great love story can exist without the tragedy, I wondered it on and off too over the years myself and found it a rather fun thought divergence. I tried to remember what I felt as a young girl watching this movie and I know I was compelled by Alice and Uncas, but I'm unsure if I necessarily believed there was a love story there on my first watch, until those moments on the cliff. Alone the characters were interesting but vague, together it was a whole new wonder. It shocked me in how suddenly powerful those characters and emotions were all in the space of a moment. That sudden strength of emotion got me every time for many years when I watched this movie, bringing me to complete sobs. It was the first time in my life a story of two people's fates had hit me so hard, the next story to have such a heavy impact on me would be Wuthering Heights and I don't really consider that a romantic story... but I'm going off into a tangent. I will reel myself back.
After that point, over the years, my own imagination, day dreaming and later, other fan's head canon etc, made it into something full and strong that could last past those cliffs, but part of me always knew, the original story would not be as impactful for me without the death. I would still have loved it, but would I have loved it as much? A tricky question.
I will always be a very strong lover of Alice/Uncas romance in all forms and shapes (especially the 'what if' stories) but I think sometimes I do like to look back upon the humble start of my romantic daydreaming and understand the very bare bones of it all, outside of all my own padding.
Once again, I'm unsure if any of this waffle is helpful in explaining my motivations or just utter nonsense. So take it as you will and enjoy it in your own way.
Please remember these are all only my own ponderings and takes on characters and do not affect your own ideas, enjoyment or truth to the way you see the fandoms you love, this is just me exploring my own ideas. I'm hoping some readers will be able to relate to my jumble of thoughts.
This will be the last time I am addressing the topic of negative comments.
Thank you to those that reached out to me after the last chapter, your kindness was very much appreciated. FullDis: I got my first negative comment many chapters back and although the personal attack quality did get to me at the time (due mainly to circumstances), I got over it (with some kind help), thinking everyone has a right to dislike something and I can't please everyone. But I've had quite a few more over the last weeks on both platforms I post on, and felt my silence was only making those commenting more insistent/comfortable in continuing. These comments don't upset me, but they do irk me because it feels like they are trying to cow/shame/berate me into changing the story or even not posting at all. I do not feel the way they want me to, but I understand how such negativity can affect all writers here in Fanfic land and can even sway writers from not posting their stories at all. In a fandom I love, that behaviour sucks and I want to speak up about it and say it isn't OK, so anyone that does feel unsure or nervous, doesn't feel alone.
If you feel unsure about your story or thoughts on fandom in general and need someone to chat to, my PMs are open as I know many lovely LOTM writer's PM boxes are here. Please don't be disheartened by (most likely) one belligerent opinion.
I, (and I'm sure many others here), support your version/fanfic of LOTM. All your fandom ideas are valid. While your ideas may not appeal to everyone, I believe all readers should try and be respectful. I hope anyone needing to read this, does. You are not alone.
I never want to police people's opinions on my work and welcome healthy discussion and if you don't like my writing because it's not to your taste in plot or style, that is valid. But this has been negative comments for the sake of some readers not getting their own wants/ships catered to. I'm not your fanfic puppet writer. I have a right (as do all fans) to explore ideas freely and I will continue to do so.
I've made my stance on these comments clear and I won't address it again and I will ignore anything further. I hope those unhappy readers find a story they do enjoy and leave them lovely comments instead, encouraging those authors to write more. Giving energy to something you like is far more rewarding than giving it to something you dislike.
Thank you again to those reading, enjoying, commenting etc. I once again want to express how much your enjoyment makes this a most happy task to come back to every Friday as I re-edit this story from all my awful spelling and grammar. Your thoughts, opinions, vibes etc are all very welcome. Thank you :)
