Read my Lips
Chapter 4
A sleepless night was nothing new for Spencer Reid. He often found himself lying awake in his bed, or the bed of a hotel room in some strange murder ridden town, staring at the ceiling with strange thoughts running through his mind. His best ideas came to him when he was on the verge of sleep. And it wasn't unusual for him to wake up with a fresh idea or epiphany that would end up leading to the capture of whatever unsub he and his team were hunting for. But on this particular night, he wasn't lying awake thinking about a case. He was thinking about her. Eliana.
The interactions Spencer had with her that day were playing on repeat in his mind. And now, instead of worrying about the fact that she called him a douche, he was thinking about the rest of the comment she made on her private social media account. Spencer had the cracks on his plaster ceiling memorized. But he stared up at the few haphazard marks anyway, thinking about how Eliana called him six foot two inches of gorgeous. No woman had ever called him that before. At least not that he was aware of. Funny, quirky, smart, maybe even kind or sweet. But never gorgeous. And given that Spencer had seen pictures of Eliana's ex-fiance, he was even more confused by her comment. Her ex looked like he was straight off the cover of a men's fitness magazine. There were pictures of them together in their bathing suits at the beach. The only person that had seen Spencer with his shirt off in the last few years was his doctor.
After he spent some time analyzing the facts in his mind, Spencer was able to convince himself that Eliana must have been making some sort of joke. She wasn't interested in him. A woman like her would never be interested in him. Even women that weren't like her had no interest in him. And then he forced himself to recite a list of every country in the world, in alphabetical order, until he finally fell asleep. His dreams were strange and disturbing. But like his insomnia, nightmares were something Spencer was used to. He woke to the sounds of his mother moving around his apartment with a vague recollection of the images that his unconscious mind produced. He was in a dark cellar of some sort. And all around him, he could hear women crying softly through the stone walls.
Spencer showered and dressed with his usual speed. He had his morning routine down to a science. And since he pretty much wore a variation of the same thing every day, getting dressed didn't require much thought. He was relieved to see that his mother had gotten herself dressed. Instead of destroying his books, she was sitting on the couch reading one. She glanced up from it when Spencer emerged from his room, offering him a soft smile.
One glance at the clock had Spencer nearly sick with nervous excitement. Eliana was due to arrive in the next fifteen minutes. And he had the sudden strong urge to leave for work early to avoid her. The only thing that stopped him was his fear of what his mother might do if he left her alone. She seemed perfectly calm at the moment. But her moods were unpredictable. She might sit and read her book all day. Or she might dart right into his bathroom and try to drown herself again.
Instead of running away, Spencer made a pot of coffee and forced himself to choke down a granola bar and one of the bananas Eliana and her coworker brought back from the store. He wasn't used to having fresh food in his kitchen. He was gone for work so much that any produce he bought would inevitably go bad before he got back to eat it. He stopped stocking his kitchen years ago.
As he poured himself his second cup of coffee, Spencer heard a soft knock on the door. His body jerked. And he hissed as he spilled the hot coffee over the edge of the cup, burning his fingers. Spencer set his coffee mess down on the counter and rushed across the living room to open his door. Eliana was standing in the apartment hallway, this time with an insulated coffee cup in her hand. She was pulling a small foldable grocery cart behind her. Since it was empty, Spencer assumed she brought it so she could wheel the giant bag of cat food he bought for her down to the shelter. Or at least out of his building and onto the bus.
Instead of staring and questioning her like he'd done the morning before, Spencer greeted Eliana with a painfully awkward smile. She was wearing a long cable knit sweater. But it was hanging open enough in the front that he could tell that there was a gap between the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her jeans. His eyes lingered on her body as Eliana headed past him into the house. She smiled back at him as she moved towards his mother.
"You don't have to stop reading," Eliana said, placing her hand softly on his mother's shoulder as she spoke. "I'm going right into the kitchen to make you breakfast anyway." She straightened back up, taking a sip from her travel mug before she smiled at him again. "Dr. Reid, are you staying for breakfast?"
Spencer thought about it for a moment. He already ate. But he still had the strong urge to say yes, even though staying would make him late for work. And late to the mandatory training the department was scheduled to attend. Spencer sighed and shook his head. And then he did what he did best. He told her the truth. "I wish I could, but I've got to get to work."
Eliana smiled as she tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "Well you better get going then… I hope you have a good day saving the world," she said. Her darker brown eyes flicked up to meet his lighter ones before she added, "I'll see you later."
Spencer didn't exactly plan it. But he arrived at the office just in time to head straight into the training the department had scheduled for them. This worked out well, since he was able to temporarily avoid Derek and the inevitable discussion he was probably waiting to have with him about Eliana. The training was the boring mandatory type that included many other units beside theirs. From the images on the large projected screen, it appeared they were going to be learning about sexual harassment in the workplace. The last time he had to attend a similar lecture, Spencer brought a book and some paperwork. But he got scolded for that. Apparently, there were those that considered it rude to listen and work at the same time.
Spencer chose a spot towards the back of the hall, sliding past half a row of empty seats before he lowered himself down into one. He smiled when he spotted Penelope a few rows ahead of him. She was sitting with Kevin Lynch, her on and off again technical analyst boyfriend. They were leaning slightly into each other, which made him wonder if they were on again. Spencer wasn't usually one to get invested in his coworkers' personal relationships. But he always liked seeing the two of them together. They were both into all the same nerdy things. When they really started talking to each other, it was hard for other people to even understand them. It gave Spencer hope that maybe there was someone out there for him. Someone that would enjoy talking about philosophy or psychology. Or even someone that just shared a few of his eclectic interests.
Spencer let out a sigh when he saw the man coming at him. Derek slid past the row of unoccupied seats and took the one directly next to him. And since Spencer knew his constant running commentary drove Derek crazy, there could only be one reason he'd chosen that seat out of all the empty seats in the room.
"How'd it go last night?," Derek asked. "Did you get her the flowers like I told you? Yellow ones?"
"No," Spencer hissed back, not offering any further information. Derek snorted out a laugh. Spencer was certain that the man had some further witty commentary. But before Derek could add it, the agent in charge of their training took the stage and began to explain to them why they were there.
The training was every bit as pointless and boring as Spencer expected. If there was anyone in the room that actually needed to hear it, they probably weren't going to abide by any of it. The only purpose training like this served was to keep the FBI from being sued if someone made a claim of harassment. Their interest was in protecting themselves, not in protecting their agents. The time they were spending in this large room with bad acoustics would be much better spent saving lives and tracking down suspects. But since there was no way out, Spencer just sat quietly and let his mind wander as the different speakers approached the podium and delivered their scripted talking points.
The day felt like it was going on forever. And at some point, Spencer realized that he was more impatient than usual for the training to end. Because he wanted to go home. Because there was someone at his home that he was looking forward to seeing. It was a new experience for him. Spencer had never come home to anything besides his empty apartment before. Now he was going to come home to his mother, who he loved. And Eliana. He wasn't sure how he felt about her yet. But he could feel the rush of warmth mixing with his nerves when he thought about seeing her again.
For what was probably the first time ever in his life, Spencer left the office fifteen minutes early. When he arrived at his apartment building, the rickety old elevator he usually loved seemed to take even longer than usual. When the doors finally opened on his floor, Spencer practically bolted out, letting his long legs carry him quickly down the communal hallway to his apartment. When he opened the door, he could hear music. It wasn't turned up very loud, but he could still hear it. Spencer followed the sound, pausing in the entryway to his kitchen.
Eliana was at his kitchen sink, facing away from him. The long chunky sweater she had on that morning was hanging over the back of a nearby chair, leaving her in a cropped gray tank top and faded jeans that were ripped at the knees. Spencer knew he ought to announce his presence. But the casual greeting he practiced on his drive home caught in his throat as he watched her hips sway and swivel to the rhythm of the music. Like her sweater, her shoes had been discarded somewhere under his dining table. Her feet were bare. And her toenails were painted with chipped red polish. As she dried the last glass and placed it carefully away in the cupboard, Eliana rolled her hips. She glanced back over her shoulder, smiling at him as she used the dish towel to dry her hands.
"You can come dance with me if you want," she suggested in a teasing tone. "...instead of standing there staring." Spencer bit back a grin. He was under the impression that he was watching her without her knowledge. But Eliana must have heard him when he entered the apartment. All the sexy hip and ass swaying she was doing, she was doing on purpose. Because she knew he was watching. And that realization sent a rush of heat to his groin.
"I don't know how to dance," he admitted, wishing for the first time in his life that dancing was a skill he possessed.
Elaina's smile widened. "Everyone can dance," she countered. Lifting her hand, she motioned him forward and added, "Come here, I'll show you."
Spencer hesitated just outside the kitchen for a moment. He was well aware of his personal skill set. And dancing was not a skill he possessed. He wasn't eager to embarrass himself in front of Eliana. But he also didn't want to turn down her invitation. If he refused her, he was worried that she would think he wasn't interested in her. Which he was. But it was the thought of putting his hands on her that finally had him shucking his bag and coat onto a chair before he entered the kitchen.
"Hold on," she said. Turning, Eliana tapped at the screen of her phone a few times. The music changed from something upbeat to a song that was more slow and soulful. "You might not be able to dance-dance. But anyone can slow dance," she assured him.
Spencer felt like a fish out of water, unsure of what to do with his hands or his feet. Eliana gently grasped his wrists, guiding his hands to her waist. She smiled as she lifted her arms to settle her hands on his broad shoulders. Since her shirt was cropped, his hands were resting on the waistband of her jeans and her bare midsection. Her tanned skin was warm against his fingers and it felt as silky soft as it looked. She smelled like soap and fresh lemons.
Since he wasn't doing anything but touching her waist and willing himself not to get an erection, Eliana began to shift her weight slowly from one foot to the other. It took Spencer a second to catch the rhythm with his own body. But slowly swaying back and forth didn't take much skill. And soon their bodies were moving in time with each other and the music. It was such a silly stupid thing to be proud of. But he was doing it. He was dancing. He'd never danced with anyone before in his life.
Without disrupting the slow sway of their bodies, Eliana adjusted the position of her hands. She slid them down off his shoulders and under his arms as she moved her body closer to his. Her dark eyes flicked up to meet his as she softly whispered, "Is this okay?" Spencer was quick to nod his head. He wasn't sure what was happening. But whatever it was, he was more than okay with it.
Eliana leaned into him, turning her head to the side and resting it against his chest. He felt her hands through his shirt, the palms resting flat against his back. Her body was flush with his, but it wasn't until he tightened his grip on her that their bodies really pressed together. One of his hands was pressing against the bare skin of her lower back. And the other was between her shoulder blades, his fingers stroking down over her hair. Holding Eliana against him felt like finding the missing piece to a puzzle that he'd spent years searching for. All his worries and over-thought second guesses faded away.
Like all good things, the song they were dancing to came to an end. But even without the music, the two of them held onto each other, swaying slowly back and forth in the middle of his kitchen. It was a soft hum of enjoyment from Eliana that broke the silence. Her fingers pressed more firmly into his back as she tilted her chin, looking up at him. He could see his own reflection in her dark eyes. Her full lips were slightly parted. And before he fully realized what he was doing, Spencer was dipping his head down to kiss her.
