Chapter 3: My Future Went Catawampus
Returning from Denali and facing the call of the blood residing in Isabella Swan was an exercise of resoluteness, but I wasn't going to be chased away from my house and family by blood, irrelevant of the level of desire to consume it. If I could get through my newborn years as a vegetarian by sheer determination and Carlisle's guidance, and then return from my years of being a human hunter to only animals, also due to determination, then I could and would resist the pull to gorge myself on the delectableness that Miss Swan's blood offered me. It was one of the few things Tanya had said that I agreed with.
"It's good to have you home," Carlisle greeted me, while adding mentally, Are you sure?
Musing to himself, To take the life of an innocent could be his undoing. I don't know how he would recover. He already tortures himself enough with those lives that he did take.
"I'm for the challenge," I assured him.
As long as you are sure, he added.
I nodded in assurance.
Next Esme wrapped me in a hug. "Are you better now?" You usually have such good control. I was worried.
"The Alaskan air did me good," I assured her.
Each of my siblings welcomed me back and mentally asked if I could handle it, except Alice, who didn't share her thoughts at all. Rose was worried about moving and threatened me.
Right before everyone was able to disperse, Emmett blurted out, "You think you got some super control, Edward, but going to school without any precautions seems a recipe for disaster."
Rose appreciated Emmett saying something, while everyone else agreed.
Recognizing when I was outnumbered, I walked to the dinning room table and sat down.
After suggestions were thrown around, the general consensus was that I needed to adjust myself to her scent without her being present.
Alice agreed to get an item, and Jasper went with her, while I groaned in displeasure.
They were treating me like Carlisle had as a newborn or after I had returned. It was patronizing, yet it came from their care of me, so I humoured them.
On our way back, Alice warned me.
Despite remembering how the scent pulled on me, I still was inadequately prepared when it hit my nose.
Without thought I stood up and started to move towards it.
A cacophony of warning and suggestions bombarded me.
Consequently, I was able to stop my progress and return to my seat.
"Edward needs to fix any questions or worries Isabella has," Rosalie insisted.
Everyone agreed, myself included, that for the sake of keeping our nature hidden, I needed to dispel any curiosity that Miss Swan had about me. Although I had managed to not kill her and slaughter the class, I had behaved inhumanly.
"What did you think about you?" Jasper asked.
"I don't know," I answered, "her mind is closed to me."
The family all reacted in great surprise. My siblings, aside from Alice were worried that I would be hopeless without my gift.
What was clear to me was that without her thoughts to review, I was uncertain how much damage control there was to do. Carlisle and Alice's recommendations seemed the most helpful. Fortunately, after seeing my turmoil Alice had kept an ear out and watched Miss Swan's future. After much conversation and consultation, it was decided that making plausible human excuses for my appearance and then acting human was the most prudent course of action.
The Monday I returned to Forks High and had seemingly been successful with Miss Swan, although without her thoughts available to me, I couldn't say for certain. My ability to speak to her cordially at all demonstrated that where there is a will, there is a way. Not to say that it was not without challenge, as the demon that dwelt within me barraged me to enjoy her nectar. Her body gave no indication of fear, she seemed displeased, but generally agreeable and accepting. The only conclusion, therefore, was how shockingly easy it had been to win her over and replace whatever concerns about me she had previously. I was never more grateful for my vampire lures or the dimwittedness of humans.
The only two slight blemishes on the encounter were me calling her Bella, rather than Isabella, and her question about my eye colour. The only true hiccup about the second was that it seemed to indicate that she had an ability to notice details that most humans overlooked. Some humans were more astute than others, and I had kept my nature a secret from them all. So, although reading her mind would have been an assuring confirmation, I was confident in my capacity. My goal was to get through the rest of the school year without increasing her curiosity of me and then ensure we had no classes together senior year.
Tuesday morning my siblings and I arrived at school exactly ten minutes early, as was our usual pattern. Continuing on as if nothing had changed, we stood together, breathing in the air's mixture of forest, dampness, and human in order to prepare ourselves to be surrounded by them for the day. We were chatting about inconsequential things when a vision of Tyler's van skidding across the parking lot due to ice crossed Alice's mind.
No one would get hurt except Tyler, so I murmured below the human hearing range to everyone, "Accident."
In uniform, we moved closer together, in order to protect each other from giving into our nature. We watched as the van moved of its own accord across the ice and how Tyler's inexperienced response locked the brakes. Consequently, when the tires were off the ice he had no control over the vehicle. This was not the first time we had witnessed a youth demonstrate the combination of a lack of proper preparation and fear response that culminated in damage. In comparison to others, this was fairly minor.
The demon within me whispered how this was an opportune moment to savour Miss Swan's essence. The temptation it brought was a confirmation that my insistence, since returning from Denali, to be constantly aware of Miss Swan's location had been wise. My original purpose behind my tracking her was to ensure while we were in proximity to each other that her blood remained within her body, as my worst possible scenario for our family would be for it to exit its container. Her dilapidated truck hadn't made an appearance before Alice's vision. The sound alone made it impossible to miss. Nevertheless, as confirmation, I searched for her through Mike, Jessica, Angela, and even Lauren's eyes. No Miss Swan was to be found. Some sadness and disappointment filled me. Jasper looked at me sideways and I shrugged back. I couldn't explain my reaction in the least, so focused on the events unfolding, as they were far more important than my strange feelings.
As in Alice's vision, Tyler's van hit three vehicles that had been parked. His driver's side glass exploded and the scent of his blood began to fill the air. The humans' fear altered their blood chemistry and thus scent in a way that called to all of us. Each of my siblings' thoughts was focused on wrangling their own demon back into its cage. Rosalie was the quickest. Her usual tactic was to remind herself that she was in control. In these instances, her vanity was her greatest strength. Both Emmett and Jasper used the images of their disappointed wives. Emmett was quicker than Jasper in his success, but that was to be expected. Alice's visions reminded her the cost of choosing Tyler's death, causing her to be second after Rosalie to bring her true self into the forefront once more. Once able, Alice checked on Jasper through her visions, and I watched his thoughts. He was successfully working on it.
"Let's get inside," I suggested.
Everyone's thoughts were in agreement, thus we moved as a group away from the blood and towards the buildings. Alice saw a room that would work for our purposes, so she and I guided Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett in that direction.
It wasn't the closest of calls for any of us, including Jasper. However, my encounter with Miss Swan had been an acute reminder of how challenging Jasper's fight against himself could be.
The four of us sat in chairs near each other with Jasper somewhat centred between us, listening out for what was happening. Using my gift, I monitored the situation and ensured that no one had been paying attention to us. Every once in a while, I would check that Miss Swan's blood was still contained. She seemed to have arrived late and immediately been ambushed by Jessica, and they had left to go to the hospital. Her father, Chief Swan, had been one of the first on the scene, searched for her, organised Tyler's removal, checked in with his deputies, and then followed the ambulance. I relayed it all to my siblings and Alice added the outcomes she could see, including Carlisle's decisions. The students' rumours of school being let out for the day were not completely without merit, as we heard some of the staff discussing it. Ultimately, the principal decided to continue on with whatever could be salvaged of the day.
Thus, it was not long after the last of the police officers were finished that we could hear the staff ushering the students back into the building. We each looked at the others checking that we were each in control.
"Back to the grind," Emmett joked.
Standing up, we left Jasper in his class and continued on with our day.
The crash could have ended up much worse. Thankfully the only blood spilled was Tyler's, and his was not particularly appetising, as human blood goes. A bunch of cars being damaged was inconsequential to their survival and us keeping our secret, so a detail none of the family even considered. However, many of the students wondered how their fellow humans would finance the repairs and were worried about how their parents would respond if the same happened to them. It was a morbid relief that their thoughts were on money and paperwork and parents, as it demonstrated our success to keep our demons hidden from them.
By lunchtime the crash was all that the students were speaking about, and nearly all that they were thinking about. Nothing so close to death had happened to the majority of them prior, and it was impacting their sense of safety in the world. As I scanned the thoughts, my gift picked up my name. I briefly looked in the general direction. The person was sitting with the sophomores, so of no importance to us.
Keeping an ear out and my gift focused on finding the students Miss Swan had sat with at lunch yesterday, over an hour past after classes had resumed when I finally picked up Ben and Angela's mental voices. I had heard many of the students plans to go to the hospital, but since my initial focus had been my siblings, all of those who had sat at the same table as Miss Swan had escaped my notice. According to Angela's thoughts, Miss Swan went with everyone else from the hospital to Lauren's. They probably were taking advantage of the situation to miss classes. It was a typical response in this generation. Gratefully that meant that Miss Swan wouldn't be in Biology, which was honestly a welcomed relief. However, I also experienced a tinge of sadness, which was strange and concerning. There was no reason to miss a human, let alone one whose blood called for me to consume it.
Since seemingly the danger of me murdering anyone had passed, I focused my gift on my siblings. The fact that doing so distracted me from my strange emotions was minor in comparison to my desire to ensure a successful day. Jasper was doing fine, seemingly recovered from Tyler's spilled blood, which was a great accomplishment on his part. Rosalie and Emmett were also their usual selves. Alice's thoughts were looping and she seemed to be repeating some similar images over and over, which often in her mind indicated confusion.
I made a decision to ask her what was wrong.
My visions have been occasionally wonky since about midnight. I had dismissed it as an anomaly and the accident came through clearly, as well as Jasper and my futures, but when I search yours it acts up again.
Completely unsure of what wonky might mean, I decided to ask her to give me more information and explain herself.
Your future looks like those original televisions when the reception wasn't clear, she explained and then broadcast to me a vision of me tonight and her description was apt. It's like your future got messed with, but how would that even be possible?
With no clue to aid in her questions, I had no response and began to consider possible explanations.
She had always said that most of life was filled with the little decisions that determined our futures, but some things were just fated and no matter what decision might be made in the moment, eventually whatever was meant to be would come about. Seeing through my gift how her gift worked, it was easy to see how she had reached her conclusions, as much as I disliked the idea of fate.
Were the distortions in her visions related to decisions or fate? And if it was fate, what could have messed with fate? I spent the rest of the day considering the possibilities, but drew no conclusions.
I don't know either, Alice informed me as I drove everyone home. It seems like what has been altered impacts you, and the rest of the family indirectly, as a result.
I pondered.
I'll keep looking, she assured me.
Without doubt she would, as Alice disliked a mystery even more than I did.
Do we need a family discussion? I decided to ask her.
Perhaps, she mused.
Esme fussed when we got home, concerned over our reactions to the spilled blood as well as the child Tyler. She roped me into making a dish for his parents before she took it over to their home.
Once she released me from the chore, I lay on my couch, listening to some Debussy. I replayed the day, continuing to try to help Alice understand what might be impacting her gift. Yet, despite my intentions, my mind kept returning to Miss Swan.
It was strange that Miss Swan had been late to school, but that was easily explained due to the ice. The visions of her via Jessica before they left the school grounds along with Jessica's thoughts suggested that Miss Swan had put more attention into her appearance than usual. She had some makeup on and according to Jessica had dressed in more form fitting jeans. Ben and Angela had been worried about Tyler and disappointed, but not surprised that the others in their group had skipped school. From my brief observations, Miss Swan seemed like a diligent student, so her going to Lauren's with them seemed like an odd choice, but not unexpected, as her trying to fit in was a common teenaged pastime.
When Carlisle returned from his shift, Alice called a family meeting and explained her gift's problems. Carlisle's thoughts went in the direction mine had gone – that someone or something had messed with fate. When he ruled out logical possibilities he considered mythical ones.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
Just exploring all options, he explained.
The others offered ideas, but no one had a true possibility. After a few hours we separated to engage in our own pursuits. Everyone continued to think about it, albeit Emmett the least.
As the sun rose the family was no closer to helping Alice. My curiosity on how come it was most apparent in my future only fuelled me in my desire to solve the mystery. It was a new day. Unwilling to completely dismiss Carlisle's musings, I decided to look through his books on mythology. Alice did not see it helping, but it was still worth the venture. Despite my irritation, I was not worried. Between the two of us, and no doubt Jasper also, we would figure it out. We always did.
