Remedios was floating in a sea of nothingness. It was quite peaceful- in this place, neither time nor space seemed to constrain her.
Her mind was in a constant haze as well, as if she was just about to fall asleep. She had been very worried about something, but she couldn't remember what. What she did remember was that she had felt extreme sorrow, but thankfully that was gone now.
Nothing mattered anymore. Here she was, strangely comfortable in the void. Floating endlessly.
She didn't know how much time had passed as 'time' seemed to have no meaning here, but at some point she almost felt like she was being shocked, as if someone was shaking her violently while trying to get her to wake up from a deep slumber.
Ģ̴̲̈́̔̍̔a̷̡͙̭͛̃̐ͅm̵̪̍̋͘e̸̹̱͐ ̴̛̼̻̈́̅͠R̷̢͇͇͆̓͠ę̴̯͓̋̓́͋͜ş̴̦̩̓t̷̼͕͆̎͛̉ä̵͕͉̪̥́͝r̴͖̤̄́t̴͎̗̲̩͑͒?̴̞̈͗͗̚
"No... let me rest..." she moaned. She didn't want to wake up. Though she didn't remember what was beyond the void- she remembered being in pain. Intense pain. Here... she had no worries at all. She wanted to sleep for as long as possible.
It was while she thought this that she felt something collide into her. It was not a physical collision, but a spiritual one.
Someone who had been completed by their friends- who had cut themselves off from the world, because they thought that there was no greater treasure than that.
She felt the same way about someone...or some people... but she couldn't remember what their names were...
As she was about to turn away forever, a voice called out to her, "Remedios- please wake up!"
The voice was a sweet one, and reminded her of her mother's- a voice that told her that all was going to be alright, even if she thought that the world was collapsing around her.
Yes, this voice. She wanted to hear this voice again... it was worth going back, if only to hear that voice one last time...
And with that thought, her eyes opened up.
She was staring at a mask. At his mask.
And all of a sudden, all of her memories came back.
"Remedios," Ainz asked, voice heavy with relief. Any other person would've said that his voice was as cold and unforgiving as the north wind, but to her it was sweeter than any melody that had ever been composed. "Why didn't you use the crystal I had given you?" Remedios had not only declined to use the crystal in her last moments- she had also declined to be placed under other protective spells from Ainz citing that she didn't want a necromancer's wards.
"Because..." Remedios said. "I... can't use the undead... that is my Nindo- that is my ninja way. Believe it!"
Nindo? Ninja way? Remedios felt like she must be delirious, because she wasn't sure of what in the name of the Four she was saying.
However, she felt like it was fine to be delirious.
Because, she felt like a giant idiot. No- not because she had refused to use the crystal when it could have saved her. Because she had been lying to herself this whole time- and she had not noticed the obvious.
No, it wasn't that she hadn't noticed the obvious, it was that she had rejected it. She had run away from the truth- a shameful thing for a paladin. And so, she spoke the truth that she had kept hidden for so long.
"Ainz... I love you and always have..." Remedios said.
Ainz stiffened. "Ah, I think you are still a bit confused after your resurrection."
"No..." Remedios protested. She might have been confused about the whole 'ninja way' thing but if there was one thing she was absolutely certain of, it was this.
How had she not realized it before? She could use the trauma of everything as an excuse... but that was all that was, an excuse.
And she had been given a second chance at life, a gift not many people got- so the least she could do was to stop lying to herself.
She had closed herself off to these feelings... because he was a necromancer. Because he used the undead- her sworn enemy, and by extension, she had considered him to be as nearly cold, despicable, and heartless as the undead that he used.
Because what other kind of person would use the undead, the embodiment of evil itself?
Even when he helped her- even when he did heroic acts- her prejudice kept her from seeing it. She made rationalizations- that he was only in it for the reward, that he might later on betray them, or that he would later on choose to become evil inevitably.
Now, she realized how foolish those thoughts were. That soul she had collided with- she now realized that it was Ainz's. And she had seen Ainz for what he was in that very moment- flaws and all.
Simply put, it could be said that she now understood Ainz in a way that even he didn't understand himself. He did not wish for power or glory- for all the air of 'mysterious magic caster' that he had around him, he was incredibly simple in what he wanted. He just wanted to be with his friends- and though Remedios had never met any of them, she could see that Ainz treasured them more than anything else. And by some means, those connections that were everything to him had been severed.
And now, he had walled himself off from the world, in a way, kind of like Remedios had earlier from her feelings for him- because he thought that nothing could replace those binds he had formed so long ago. It really did make her wonder as to who those people were, because she deeply envied them in that moment because of the bond they had with Ainz. And he was depressed- even if he didn't realize it himself, because he was unable to move on from the fact that they were no longer there.
He had anchored himself to an empty, barren, lifeless shore, afraid to explore the greater sea beyond.
How could a man with desires so simple be evil?
No... he wasn't perfect, Remedios saw that as well. But neither was she.
"...I see it now," Remedios said. "I always did... I just didn't want... to admit it..." She smiled. Once she had seen that the Holy Queen was undead- the worst possible outcome, her spirit broke. She had welcomed death when she had run into the Death Emperor- for death was a reprieve from the unbearable pain she was in. Perhaps that was the real reason she hadn't used that summoning crystal which could have saved her.
Now though, there was one thing she realized she had to do. She had to help Ainz look for his friends- even if she had to travel to the ends of the world to find them. And if he couldn't find them, though she didn't think anything could fill the massive void they had left in his heart, she would try her best to help him forge new bonds.
Because now, his happiness was her happiness. His sorrow was her sorrow. And his problems were her problems.
