AN: I think someone a while back was bitching about chapters being different lengths? I appreciate your opinion. My opinion is that you can go fuck yourself. Nah I'm just kidding thanks for reading but yeah they're gonna be different lengths.

Chapter 26

"It's very green." Harry said, looking at the view screen on the CIC of the Normandy.

"It's a garden world, of course it is." Shepard said.

"The Earth might once have been purple, you know." Harry said.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"Plants used Retinal instead of Chlorophyll for photosynthesis. It still exists in some bacteria." Harry said, not really focusing on the screen.

"Nerd." Shepard said, nudging him in the side. Harry pretended to cry dramatically.

"Commander, Saren's already down there, I'm reading several AA batteries." Joker reported.

"We're going to have to go in low, under their radar. I'd recommend the Mako." Garrus said.

"I have a better idea... and you're all going to hate it." Harry said, his grin becoming predatory as he pulled a pair of shoelaces out of his jacket, and laid them down on a console.

"I already hate it." Tali said, looking at Harry warily.

"New suit?" Wrex asked. Tali nodded.

"Harry set me up." Tali said.

"Two down, you gonna hook the rest of us up?" Ashley said with a grin as she brushed some imaginary dandruff off the shoulder of her new armor.

"This is gonna take me a while, go check out your lockers." Harry said without looking up, The Elder wand focused on the shoelaces.

"Seriously?" Kaidan asked.

"Everyone except Shepard, she's already got armor that would make a Salarian shit his pants." Harry said.

"Wha-" Garrus went to say.

"Sounded funnier in my head. Go now. Fuck off." Harry said, crinkling his brow as he worked. Garrus laughed and lead everyone except Shepard and Wrex down to the cargo hold.

"You too Wrex. Got you something real nice." Harry said. Wrex shrugged and followed the group as they approached the elevator.

"Harry?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah?" Harry asked without lifting his gaze. Shepard did it for him, taking his chin in her hand and tipping his gaze up to meet hers before capturing his lips in a searing kiss. After a few seconds she broke it off. Harry looked at her with a goofy grin.

"Try not to die this time?" Shepard asked.

"I always try not to die." Harry said, laughing, before taking her hand in his.

"I will Janey. As hard as I can." Harry said. Shepard smiled and walked up towards the cockpit. Harry returned his attention to the shoelaces, still grinning like an idiot. Half an hour later, Harry departed the elevator and stepped into the cargo hold where everyone was moving around testing the flexibility of their new armor. Harry walked around casually waving his wand at them, resizing their armor effortlessly. He did another pass, reinforcing the polymer and carbon fiber structure, creating a soft orange glow over each that faded.

"What's this on my armor?" Wrex asked. Harry looked at Wrex who was wearing what looked like steel plate armor but sized and fashioned to a Krogan's body. Despite its metallic sheen it was made of the same ultra-tough carbon fiber polymer blend as the rest of them. Emblazoned on the breastplate was a red dragon that looked like it had been painted on in blood.

"It's a dragon. An enormous fire-breathing reptile that can fly. Well most kinds of dragons can fly. I'll show you later." Harry said.

"I like it ." Wrex said with a grin. Harry handed Shepard one of the shoelaces and Ash the other. The humans all groaned as they recognized what he had planned.

"Floor's yours, babe." Harry said. Shepard nodded.

"Ok these are what we call portkeys. Magical transportation, in this case one way since we don't have a matching object on the other side. Like most other forms of magical transportation it's miserable, but effective." Shepard said.

"Five minutes." Harry said. Shepard nodded.

"In five minutes, we all need to be holding onto these. Hold tight because it's going to feel like you're being spun around in a centrifuge. Don't let go until you see the beach on Virmire." Shepard said.

"When you let go try to land in a roll. Two centuries old and every time I land on my ass." Harry said. Shepard laughed.

"That sounds Ominous..." Shiala said.

"Since these are one-way, we'll have to take out the AA batteries before we can call for extraction. Any questions?" Shepard asked.

"Can't we take the mako?" Kaidan whined.

"That's not good. If this is worse than the mako..." Garrus said.

"Two minutes." Harry said, looking at his omnitool.

"Our first priority is to hook up with the STG unit and determine their situation. They're STG so watch what you say, they're the best spies in the universe." Shepard said.

"I know a human who'd spy circles around them. Also one minute." Harry said.

"She's also wanted criminal." Shepard commented.

"Sure she is." Harry said with a wry grin. Jane laughed.

"I should have known." Shepard said

"Should have known what?" Liara asked.

"Harry's got this frie-" Shepard started

"Hold on tight!" Harry shouted interrupting her. At once, Ashley, Kaidan, Tali, Garrus, Liara, Wrex, Shiala, Harry and Shepard disappeared in what looked like a tornado of space ripping itself apart. On Virmire, Kaidan, and Ash stumbled slightly upon landing, Shepard moved gracefully as though she was dancing, Tali, Wrex, Liara and Garrus all landed harsh, staggering to stay upright and Harry collided with the sand and rolled twenty feet before landing on his ass.

"I fucking hate portkeys." Harry said, getting up and dusting himself off.

"Permission to mock?" Kaidan asked with a shit-eating grin.

"Granted." Shepard said.

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

"I know." Wrex said, shrugging.

"I... I expected a more hostile reaction." Kirrahee said, waving at the STG behind him who were aiming their rifles at Wrex.

"Saren is a Turian spectre, Salarian. Do I need to remind you who implemented the Genophage to begin with?" Wrex said, taking a few steps closer to Kirrahee. Harry raised a hand to stop Shepard from intervening

"Do I need to remind you who developed it?" Wrex growled. Kirrahee blanched.

"No, that won't be necessary." Kirrahee said.

"Any cure offered to us by any Turian barring the jackass in blue behind me would probably be some sort of trick. There's got to be some sort of gotcha and I ain't interested in finding out what it is." Wrex said

"I'm flattered?" Garrus said. Harry laughed.

"Our drive system can be converted into a 20 kiloton explosive device. Crude, but effective. I'm going to divide my men into three teams and assault the front, this will give you time to get your team quietly in through the back. Once the ground forces have been pacified, we-" Kirrahe said

"Yeah, no." Shepard said.

"I beg your pardon?" Kirrahe asked.

"We're not nuking a base full of Salarian prisoners, especially not on a garden world. Besides, we have something more effective." Shepard said.

"More effective than a 20 kiloton nuclear weapon?" Kirrahee asked. Shepard nodded.

"I propose we all assault the front, hit and run against their defenses while Harry sneaks in, sabotages Saren's communications and then frees the prisoners." Shepard said.

"Forgive me, Commander, but I can't help but doubt your man would be able to do that." Kirrahe said. Shepard grinned.

"Care to demonstrate, Harry?" Shepard said. Harry grinned and then started walking towards Kirrahe. He assumed a defensive stance, ready to physically fight Harry when suddenly without warning he disappeared. Kirrahe spun when he heard the sound of several bodies hitting the ground. He turned back just in time to see Harry reappear a foot in front of him, dropping a stack of STG-issue rifles at his feet.

"I-impossible!" Kirrhae said. Harry lazily waved his hand, reviving the now panicking Salarians behind him.

"I'm very sneaky." Harry said with a grin. Wrex laughed boisterously.

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"Duh duh dunna duh duh duh, duh-nuh duh duh..." Harry whispered into his communicator as he crept past a pair of Krogan guards.

"What the fuck is that?" Garrus asked.

"Mission impossible theme, you uncultured barbarian." Harry whispered.

"Why are you whispering? I watched you silence yourself with magic." Tali asked.

"Because I'm in stealth mode." Harry said.

"Your boyfriend is an idiot." Tali said.

"No argument here." Shepard said.

"You guys suck." Harry said, before he gasped.

"Just found some prisoners, most of them don't look too hot. Mark my position on your maps." Harry said.

"Done. Go and shut down their comms and sensors, then come back." Shepard said, before she peeked over their cover and tossed a grenade at a group of Krogan standing outside the main entrance. It detonated way, way more violently than standard alliance grenades should be able to.

"Was that explosion you, Janey?" Harry asked.

"Yes, and what the fuck did you do?" Shepard asked, staring in awe at the smoking crater and scattered Krogan body parts.

"I miiiiiiight have made them a bit spicy." Harry said.

"Maybe warn me next time?" Shepard growled.

"Sorry, babe. Sensors going down now." Harry said.

"Get ready to run in. Careful with those grenades." Shepard said to her crewmates.

"No promises!" Wrex said, staring at one of his grenades reverentially.

"Aaaaand there goes comms. I'm doubling back to snag the prisoners, watch out for Saren I'm sure he's figured out something's up." Harry said.

"Yeah about that.. you might want to step on it." Shepard said.

"He's right there isn't he?" Harry asked. He was answered by a loud explosion and static over the comms. Harry's heart skipped a beat. He was sorely tempted to abandon the Salarians and go help Jane but he had job to do and it wasn't done.

"Janey? Speak to me Jane!" Harry said, foregoing stealth and sprinting down the corridor, dropping Krogan left and right with overpowered stunners.

"Can't talk. Hurry up!" Jane said. Harry skidded to a halt in front of the prisoners, and pondered his next move.

"Are you here to help us?" the only lucid looking Salarians asked.

"Yeah, anyone injured?" Harry asked.

"Not physically..." The lucid Salarian said.

"Good. Sleep now, talk later... Stupefy." Harry said, downing the Salarian, followed by all of his colleagues.

"This is gonna suck..." Harry said, grabbing the first Salarian by the wrist and apparating.

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"Are you hurt?!" Shepard asked

"No, just a little banged up!" Tali yelled from behind a pile of rocks. She activated her omnitool, producing a spherical hard light construct.

"Chatika, get 'em." Tali said. The drone zoomed over towards a group of Geth that were pinning them down.

"Now what?" Garrus asked, hurling a grenade before popping back behind cover.

"Kirrahe what's your status?" Shepard yelled into her omnitool.

"Almost in position!" Kirrahee said.

"Kaidan, Garrus, pick off as many infantry units as you can. Liara keep a barrier going around you, Kaidan and Garrus. Shiala, you're with Tali and I. Once Kirrahe is in position we're going to rush them from the front. Kirrahee's guys will get them from behind." Shepard said.

"Sounds good." Garrus said.

"What about me?" Wrex asked. Shepard grinned when she felt the earth shake slightly underneath them.

"You hear that?" Shepard asked.

"Colossus?!" Wrex said, looking excited.

"All yours." Shepard said wth a grin.

"Shepard you and your boyfriend are my favorite people ever." Wrex said, cocking his shotgun.

"We're in position!" Kirrahe reported.

"Barriers up!" Shepard ordered. Two spherical biotic fields snapped into existence. Liara with Garrus and Kaidan made their move to higher ground while Shepard, Tali and Ashley rushed forward, being protected by Shiala. Shepard's group plowed through the swarm of Geth units, making for the colossus which was charging it's main weapon.

"Wrex!" Shepard shouted.

"On it!" Wrex said, roaring before charging into the hull of the colossus. Above them, Saren floated on his hoverboard, protected by an extremely powerful barrier. He was working furiously on his omnitool. The Geth's attention turned behind them when Kirrahee and what was left of the STG started firing at them from behind cover.

"Shepard! I'm running out of steam!" Shiala shouted, clearly struggling to maintain the barrier under such heavy assault.

"Everyone find cover and recharge!" Shepard shouted. This time they found cover in a better position and were able to fire more effectively.

"Wrex, come in!" Shepard yelled into her omnitool. Instead of answering he bounded past them ducking behind a boulder.

"Get down!" Wrex shouted. With a deafening boom, the colossus exploded, taking all but Saren and five of the Geth with it. When the dust cleared, Shepard grinned when she heard Saren cursing.

"Snipers, take out the Geth, everyone else focus on Saren!" Shepard yelled. The remaining Geth units were disposed of rapidly however nobody was finding purchase on Saren. He floated slowly down until he was just over their heads.

"Commander Shepard, did you really think you'd get the best of me?" Saren asked.

"Did you even feel anything when you murdered Nihlus, Saren? He was your friend. Your protege..." Shepard asked. Saren's gaze fell for a moment before snapping back up to meet Shepard's.

"Nihlus was an obstacle." Saren said.

"He was an honorable man, a good spectre and a better Turian than you, you disgusting traitor!" Garrus shouted.

"Traitor? I think not. I am the only thing that stands between us and complete annihilation. You should be joining me in my efforts. You have no idea what is coming..." Saren said.

"Reapers?" Shepard asked. Saren looked at her shocked.

"You're well informed. No matter. It's a simple matter of time. Their return is inevitable..." Saren said.

As if to emphasize the statement an ugly mechanical roar sounded out as an enormous black, tentacled ship descended from the sky and hovered.

"Shit.. Fall back everyone!" Shepard ordered.

"Perhaps next time Shepard, I ca-" Saren said, but was cut off.

"Hey pal!" Harry shouted after twisting into existence, looking sick.

"The supposedly immortal Admiral..." Saren said.

"I'm retired act—URK" Harry said, before vomiting all over Saren.

"That's disgusting!" Saren cried, looking down at his soiled armor.

"Sorry about that. Too many apparitions. Anyway, wanna hear a funny joke?" Harry asked.

"What?" Saren asked.

"Stupefy!" Harry said, knocking Saren back with an enormous red flash. He fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Harry looked up at the Reaper floating over head.

"We got your errand boy." Harry said, smirking. It let out another mechanical roar before ascending into the skies and out into space.

"Harry!" Shepard shouted, tackling him as he touched down, Saren's hoverboard under his arm.

"Yup! I got all the Salarians to safety, they're waiting, unconscious, at the LZ. We can leave whenever you're ready." Harry said.

"Are you seriously taking that with you?" Shepard asked, pointing at the hover board.

"Well yeah. Have you seen it? It's awesome!" Harry said with a grin.

"You can fly without it..." Shepard said. Harry rolled his eyes.

"We're watching the back to the future trilogy later." Harry said.