A/N: Be prepared for shenanigans in Japan!
With Respect to the reviewers:
Crash X Fusion: Yeah most people seemed cool with it. I'm sorry Ella got overlooked. I'll endeavor to give her more inclusion. I'm really glad you like Lightning taking on the Animal Curse role. Also wow! I never thought I'd get a TV Tropes page!
Chris stands in first class as the recap begins. "Egypt, land of pyramids," The pyramid is shown. "land of hot, land of sweaty." Team Chris running through the desert is shown. "Our contestants had loads of fun on the run in the sun." Team Valkyrie and Team Conquest are also shown making their way through the desert." and they still found time to run from scarabs," The contestants are shown running from scarabs.
" Pet a goat," Dawn petting the goat is shown. " "row from crocs, and lose a camel. " The teams rowing away from the crocodiles is shown followed by the back of the boat being bitten off by a crocodile and the camel swimming off.
"Showing style on the Nile Team Conquest managed to pull out a win." Team Conquest is shown rowing to the shore ahead of the other teams. " Max managed to lose, " Max falling into the pile of bandages, "and lose," Max gets pushed out of the plane by Chris. "And yet he still managed to hang on. Got to admire the tenacity." Max holding on to the tail of the plane and making a deal with Chris in the cargo hold is shown.
We return to Chris, now in his pilot uniform in the cockpit. "Who's gonna sing? Who's gonna Dance? Who's gonna sell out their friends for a chance at one million dollars? Welcome to Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"
A stage light pops up in front of the CN tower, we switch to the interior of the plane as another light pops out of the ceiling, outside the plane a camera pops out of the engine startling a raccoon, we see a suitcase pop open and a clap board is used. The camera moves through first class passing a drink cart on the way and causing Chris to jump out of the aisle.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
(Chef is in the cockpit, the cook gives the camera glare as it passes through. The camera moves past several bagages trucks.)
You guys are on my mind!
(The camera moves past the CN tower and dives into the water.)
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
(Lightning is swimming in the water when he spots a shark and begins to fight with it.)
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
(Harold stands on top of the straw roof of a hut on a woven boat. An oar flies threw the air to hit him.)
I wanna be...famous!
(Amber and Topher are fighting on the boat, and it is clear one of them accidently hit Harold in the tussle. Crocodiles leap from the water snapping their jaws. The boat moves off screen and we see a crocodile wince on the word be. The camera moves back to the boat revealing it had run into an inflatable raft where Alejandro is standing. Amber panics and tries to help while Topher just laughs."
I wanna live close to the sun!
(The camera moves to the statue of liberty, we cut to the top where Brick is offering Jo a helping hand, only for her to grab it and body slam him instead.)
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
(Tyler runs past the two, pushing a baby carriage holding Noah. Max is nearby and the jock trips over her, sending Noah flying out of the carriage and into a sign.)
Everythin' to prove,
(Noah lands in Eva's arms as she stands on a tundra. He gives her a grateful smile.)
Nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
(We pan right where Amy rolls her eyes. A polar bear taps on her shoulder and she looks horrified, but then Dawn and Ella calm the bear and Amy smiles.)
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(We zoom in past ice caps to see Duncan and Gwen surfing a giant wave. It seems to be too much as they are swept up in the surf.)
Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa
(Xena and Anne Maria are walking across a New York City crosswalk. They are startled as the jet passes them, sending leaves through the air. We switch to a scene of the contestants in a human pyramid atop the jet, wearing parachutes and kicking in beat. The bottom row contains Jo, Anne Maria, Harold, Max, Xena, and Brick. The first row up contains Topher, Amber Alejandro, Eva, and Noah, the next row up contains Duncan, Gwen, Amy, and Tyler, on top of the pyramid is Lightning holding Ella and Dawn on one of his shoulders each.)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(The plane passes big ben,causing the clock face to pop out. It passes the arc de Triomphe causing a mime to drop his croissant. It flies past a rock balancing on.a stone pillar, knocking it off and causing it to fall in front of the camera kicking up dust)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(The dust clears to show, Ella and Dawn smiling at one another, It pans to show Eva glaring, then down to Jo.)
(The lyrics end and we see Chef Hatchet glare. He turns the plane, sending all the contestants falling through the air in parachutes. Everyone but Max lands in front of a sign with the show's name on it. As the song ends Max lands face first in the middle of the group)
Intro end
The episode proper begins with Team Chris and Team Valkyrie sitting in economy class. Team Valkyrie is on the right bench, while Team Chris is on the left. A bolt falls off the plane onto Amber, who looks at it in concern. " This plane is going to fall apart at any moment! I don't wanna die on international TV!"
"Will you relax Braids! It can't be that dangerous. People fly in planes all the time." Jo snapped.
"Yes, but those planes are compliant with general safety regulations." Brick said as a patched up hole in the wall breaks open. "Unlike this one!"
Those who could, buckled themselves in, Tyler begins to be blown towards the hole. Just as it seems he's going to fall out, Brick grabs him. "No soldier is going to die on my watch!"
Amber desperately looked around the room and stood up on the bench, grabbing down a piece of plywood from on top of the overhead luggage. "Everyone who can, hold this to the hole!"
Gwen, Harold, Xena, Amber, Amy, Dawn, and Jo all shoved the plywood to the wall. The wind died down.
Brick smiled at Tyler. "Are you injured soldier?"
Tyler blinked, looking out of it. "Oh, no. No, I'm fine." The jock's eyes kept moving around as though he was trying to look anywhere but at Brick. "Thanks for saving me bro. Those are some muscles you've got. " Tyler gasped and looked nervous.
"You seem shaken solider. You should sit down." Brick said.
"Oh yeah, yeah. That's a good idea." Tyler said, sitting down quickly.
"Not that Tyler's sexuality crisis isn't fascinating-" Amy began.
"That's not. Its not." Tyler stammered.
"But we need to nail this thing down!" The twin finished.
"Oh my!" The focus shifted to show Ella had just entered the area holding candy and chips. "I was just going to share the snacks from first class with you all! I'll get Chef! He should know where the supplies are!" She dropped the snacks to the floor and ran off.
Gwen groaned from her spot holding the plywood. "I bet Duncan's having a better time in first class."
/
In first class Duncan turns the faucet on, only for the water to shoot into his face. He growled as he turned it off. "Some first class. The water's already broken."
"You're telling Lightning! The ice machine is broken! How's Lightning supposed to enjoy an ice cold protein shake without ice?!" The football jock asked.
"No one better blame me for this." Eva said.
"Why would we ever blame a fierce but beautiful woman like yourself?" Alejandro asked.
Eva smiled a bit, clearly flustered. "I've uh, broken some things in the past. But it wasn't me this time!"
"Chill Iron woman. We believe you." Noah smirked.
(Confessional)
Max: (Laughing evilly.) Now the winning team can't even enjoy ice cold drinks in first class! I'm an evil genius!"
Static
/
The teens had been called to the common area. The three teams sat at their tables as Chris introduced the challenge. "Welcome to today's challenge, It's-"
"Is it a reward or elimination challenge?" Harold interrupted.
"Good question Harold ,aaaand like I'm gonna tell ya." The host said.
"We lost someone last challenge. It has to be a reward." Tyler told Xena.
"Unlikely. With eighteen cast members there will have to be more elimination rounds." The overlogical girl said.
"I hope it's a reward." Anne Maria said. "A good one, like make-up or hairspray."
"Or an exfoliating face mask?" Topher suggested.
"Yeah, see someone gets it." The jersey reject agreed.
"And I hope you all brought your giant radioactive monster repellant," Chris continued, "because, we are about to land in... JAPAN!" With that Chef burst through the nearby set of doors wearing an orange gi and gripping a katana between his teeth.
"Gosh you guys! That's totally a Chinese outfit!" Harold said.
"Thank you Harold. Now as a reminder, anyone who doesn't sing-" Chris began.
"You just, you'd really think you'd work harder to get it right." Harold interrupted.
"Harold, anyone who doesn't sing," the host repeated forcefully, "is immediately disqualified."
"Your cultural insensitivity is just gosh! I mean gosh!" Harold complained.
Chris gave Chef a look and the hulking man sliced the door open. Everyone was sucked out of the plane when a familiar jingle played.
"Seriously? I mean seriously?!" Noah snapped.
"Sing, and I might just save your musical buttocks! Maybe you'll try harder this time, 'kay?" The host yelled through a megaphone.
(Song three: before we die)
Amber is falling from the sky. "We're singing as we're falling!"
Amy stares at Lightning as he cannonballs. "While some are cannonballing."
Alejandro is shown falling. "Our lives begin to flash before our eyes."
Eva and Noah are shown falling side by side. "We might just become crushed."
Harold and Tyler are shown in a similar situation. "Our bodies turned to mush."
We see everyone falling through the air as they all sing. "'Cept there's tons we wanna do before we die!"
As each person sings their wish they're shown falling on screen.
Dawn- Historian!
Jo: Personal trainer!
Duncan: Gigging clubs with my punk band
Amy: Succeed Samey!
Anne Maria: Make up artist!
Topher: Be the best host in the land!
Brick: Master Sergeant!
Gwen: Freelance Artist!
Harold: Be a ninja with throwing stars!
Alejandro: Lion tamer!
Lightning: Football player!
Tyler: Repairman for the parallel bars!
As Tyler falls offscreen, Noah falls on screen. "But first we must cease dropping, our goal here would be stopping."
Amy falls on screen. "Before we smash into the ground from the sky!"
The twin falls out of frame to be replaced by Amber. "Into a million pieces!"
Harold comes up from the bottom of the screen. "Heads merged with our feet-ses!"
Xena falls from the top of the screen. "That outcome would be bad and here's why."
Ella slides in front of Xena "We'd like to keep on living!" A tan hand grabs her hand from offscreen.
We see the hand belongs to Alejandro. "So Chris, we hope you're giving," As they list things off the teens are shown to be holding each other's hands.
Lightning : Some wings!
Duncan: A jetpack!
Gwen: A rift in time!
Amber: Parachute?!
Noah: Waterbed!
Tyler: A trampoline!
Dawn: Some soft moss!
Alejandro: Rocket boots!
Topher: A hang glider?
Anne Maria: Bubble bath!
Topher : I change to bubbles, too!
Xena: A stunt mattress!
Eva: My music! No, something to punch will do!
We see everyone holding their hands in a circle with Eva in the center.
Everyone: 'Cause there's still so much to do before we die! Yeah, we said it! " The circle of contestants begins to turn clockwise. "There's still so much to do," Eva begins turning counterclockwise. " there's still so much to do, there's still so much to do before we die! Yeah!"
Everyone falls into a giant bowl of rice. We see Harold poke his head out. "Japan! Yes! I know everything about this place!"
"What you know just sent us out of a plane!" Eva snapped, looking ready to kill him.
"But I went to Sensei Steve's feudal Japanese summer camp!" Harold protested.
"So that makes you an expert?!" Eva snapped.
"Iron woman, killing Harold won't solve anything. Although if you feel you must." Noah smirked.
Alejandro placed a hand on Eva's shoulder before she could retort. "Besides a woman as strong as you commands respect."
Eva looked a little sheepish. "Oh yeah. I guess so."
Noah glared at Alejandro and spat out some rice.
/
Everyone got out of the rice bowl and were taken to a building. The teens split into their teams as Chris began to tell them the challenge. "Okay, our first challenge is inside a Japanese game show studio, bow down before...," He paused gesturing to an absolutely enormous pinball machine. "Super Human Mega Pinball Smash!"
Tyler looked excited. "I love Japanese game shows!" He and Harold shared a high five.
"My favorite is 'Human Itchy My Car Go-Go," Harold said. "Where you gotta throw a banana into a car window using a-"
"Giant shrimp fork. Awesome!" Tyler finished as Chris interrupted by hitting a gong.
"Oh look, my own personal geek gong! 'Kay, I'm gonna need one volunteer from each team to climb into these giant hamster balls," Each hamster ball was in that team's color. "Then, your teammates are gonna beat you around the gameboard,scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and posts." There were three scoreboards, each with a different team logo next to it. "Most points win, and I have a special local surprise for each of you to share your little ball-shaped paradise with. So! Teams! Select a ball guy, or gal Conquest?"
"Lightning should go! He's the best!" The football jock said.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. I happen to work well with animals." Alejandro said.
"Better than Lightning? Sha please." The football jock said.
Alejandro looked ready to argue, but Duncan put a hand on his shoulder. "Dude, just let him do it. He does well, we win. He does badly, it's an excuse to vote him off."
Alejandro smirked and turned to Lightning. "If you insist."
"Coolio" Chris said, pulling a panda from seemingly nowhere. "Here's your pinball buddy." He threw the panda to Lightning. The football jock caught it roughly.
"Sha yeah! Lightning's got this!" The panda seemed to think otherwise as it began to attack him.
"Oh yeah! Lightning's not gonna be taken down by some bear cub." The football jock said.
The sounds of fighting can be heard as the rest of team Conquest is shown. Ella gasps. "Oh my! Do you think I should help him?"
"I don't think he'd appreciate that, he wants to win by himself." Noah said.
"Oh…well if that's what he wants." Ella frowned.
"Team Valkyrie?" Chris asked.
"Obviously I'm going." Jo said.
"No arguments here." Amber said.
"I don't want that filthy thing touching me." Anne Maria agreed.
"Jo? I'm good with animals. Don't you think I should go?" Dawn asked.
Jo huffed. "You got a point. Fine you're up tree hugger."
"Wicked. Incoming!" The host said. Chris threw the panda to Dawn and it instantly calmed.
"Oh, you have such a nice aura little one." The panda snuggled into her arms.
"Team Chris is Really Really Really Evil? We could only get two pandas. So two of you are gonna have to ride together." Chris said.
Brick turned to Tyler. "You know about these game shows right? So why don't we do it?"
Tyler looked excited. "Oh yeah! I'd love to!"
/
"It's Human Pinball time!" Chris announced. Chef arrived dressed in a purple kimono and ponytail to launch the three balls into the game. Team Conquest's was launched first. The sounds of fighting could be heard from inside, the motion of which was sending the ball all around the board.
Meanwhile Dawn and her panda were talking with each other. The panda pointed at something. "Oh great idea Ting-Ting." The moonchild complimented. They kept scoring points after point.
Team Chris's purple ball went around the board as well, but it was much slower than the others. Eventually it ran onto a spring and the two teammates were flung into the air. Brick and Tyler both screamed. Brick caught Tyler and the jock held on for dear life.
Team Chris was working on moving their giant paddle. "We need a 33.7° angle in order to maximize impact!" Harold directed.
"Just move the paddle Harold!" Gwen retorted. The ball bounced off their paddle for another go round the bumpers.
The three balls continued to bounce around, with Team Conquest's' moving around the most. Team Valkyrie was hitting as many high point surfaces as possible. Team Chris kept hitting the bumpers but it continuously went down until it fell through the flippers.
The ball opened and Brick stepped out, still holding Tyler. "We did our best soldier."
"Uh, yeah." Tyler giggled. "Could you put me down now?"
(Confessional)
Tyler: I don't know why, but Brick makes me feel good, but like in a weird way? I don't know man.
Static
Team Conquest's ball fell through next. Lightning fell out of the ball all scratched up, while the panda walked away happily. "Get back here! Lightning didn't hear no bell!"
(confessional)
(A Panda is looking at the camera. It points at its head and swirls his finger around to indicate craziness.)
Static
Team Valkyrie's ball fell through the paddles. Dawn's team cheered as she held up her panda victoriously.
"With a score of 462,000," Chris announced "Team Valkyrie takes the Super Human Mega Pinball Smash, and wins a leg-up in the next Japanese challenge."
Lightning is back on his feet, not looking much worse for wear. "Where's that panda at? Lightning's ready for round two!"
Chris began to segway to commercial. "Will Lightning get his rematch? Will Tyler figure out what he's feeling? Stay tuned," The host began to chop the air with his hands, "there's more wacky-cappy-macky-teriyaki action after the break."
/
What seems to be a promo for Total Drama Action is playing. It started with Chris announcing the season on the film lot. "Welcome to Total Drama Action!" Some Japanese script appeared across the screen. "Where there will be crazy action!" a clip of Gwen and Duncan running from a bear is shown. "And kooky filming." Trent placing a show light, "And somber eating." Scott eating a fake orange is shown as more Japanese appears on screen.
Kitty spoke a line in a confessional but though it came from her mouth it was not Kitty's voice. "Crimson wins it big time!"
It was weird and the weirdness didn't stop as Duncan's voice was also dubbed as Chef smashed one of the trailers. "He must have gotten the monster fixed."
A giant gilded Chris is shown as the host finished. "Total Drama Action coming soon." Gwen and Duncan facing down the monster is shown as the closing line was said. "Pears and apples of fun."
The screen goes to static, revealing that all the contestants are gathered in first class watching the video on the large screen.
"Um what?" Noah said from his spot in one of the chairs.
"That piece of cinematic gold is the Japanese promo," Chris explained. "Total Drama is huuuuge here!"
"But why are our voices dubbed if it's still in English?" Alejandro asked.
"Turns out the locals just didn't like the sounds of ya'll." Chris said with a shrug. "Sorry!"
"You are not." Alejandro deadpanned.
"True...," Chris acquiesced. "Ready for the next challenge? I hope you paid attention because you'll be writing, directing, and producing your very own Japanese commercial"
"There's a brand new candy hitting the Japanese market," he explained before pulling out a pinkish bag of snacks with the image of a fishtail on the front. "It's Chef's 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails'! I call this the 'Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails' Challenge, "of Celebration Fun."
"Mmm, you said we were gonna pay a real Tokyo ad firm," Chef growled.
"Oops," The host said unapologetically , "I did! Didn't I? As props,you'll be allowed to use anything you can find in the airplane's storage area. Since Team Valkyrie won the first challenge, they get to choose their props first."The six teens cheered at this, sharing a high five. "With Team Conquest choosing second," the host added, "and Team I am so wickedly evil is stuck with...whatever dregs are left..." The five glared at Chris.
/
All three teams are in the cargo area as Team Valkyrie looks over the props. "Okay, here's what we're doing-" Jo began.
"Uh, who said you were in charge of the commercial? I'm the one who knows about marketing." Topher pointed out.
"Yeah, and I'd trust his sense of style over yours any day!" Anne Maria scoffed.
Jo glared but before she could say anything else Brick interrupted. "I think your team would perform better if you took the other's ideas into account."
"Who asked you!" The jockette snapped, storming off as her team kept talking. The focus followed her as she kicked the wall of the jet. "Who does that guy think he is?! Does he think he's better than me?"
"Perhaps he only thinks so because you have yet to prove otherwise." A flat voice said.
The focus moves out a bit to show the owner to be Xena.
"Tch. I shouldn't need to prove anything. I'm the one with previous experience on this show!" Jo snapped.
"Indeed. Perhaps you might prove yourself better if you can beat him in this challenge. After all, a leader such as yourself surely knows best, and you can prove that by getting your team to win without compromising your standards." Xena explained.
"Yeah! Yeah! I don't need to listen to his advice. I'm going to win this the Jo way!" The jockette stomped back to her team. "Alright, listen up! I don't care what stupid plan you've come up with. I'm in charge so we're doing my idea!"
The rest of the Valkyries grumbled but gathered the supplies they were told to. Jo smirked at Alejandro as she left. "Good luck winning with our advantage Al!"
The focus is now on team Conquest as they look at what is available. Alejandro examined a small cardboard house and the spider costume from Phobia Factor. "I'm seeing a tiny Tokyo and a giant radioactive monster."
"I call being the monster!" Duncan said.
"Lightning should be the monster!" Lightning said.
"Actually, I believe Eva would be the best monster. Such a fierce woman should easily be able to handle the starring role." Alejandro smirked.
Eva smiled a bit. "Oh really? You think so?"
"You are great at destroying things." Noah noted.
"I'll do it." The iron woman said.
"Oh this is going to be so fun!" Ella clapped. "Can we have a song?"
"A jingle could be good. Excellent idea Ella." Alejandro told her.
They all gathered what they wanted. On the way out Alejandro bowed towards Team Chris. "Good lucky honorable opponents, though with your leadership and vision you need no luck."
"To you as well." Brick saluted back.
He turned to his team. "Well I guess this is what we have left."
A hockey mask, two large wooden dowels, a donut, a dead bird, a string of lights, a single firework, and a terrarium with a rock inside.
"Looks like we have our work cut out for us." Gwen sighed.
/
With Team conquest, Noah, Duncan, and Ella are working to build the city for Eva to destroy. It's not going well, because Lightning is arguing with Eva.
"Lightning still thinks he'd make a better monster." He huffed.
"Are you saying I can't handle it?!" Eva growled.
Ella got in between the two. "Please friends! There's no need to fight!" Eva growled at her.
Noah, seeing the situation was going to get out of hand, approached and placed a hand on Eva's shoulder. "Whoa Iron woman, only an idiot would doubt your ability to do this. Hence why Lightning is." He turned to Lightning. "You're outnumbered. The team wants Eva to star, so I suggest you stop fighting and start helping." He smirked. "Unless you're not a team player?"
Lightning frowned. "Girl! Lightning is the best team player! He carries the team!"
"Prove it then. Help us build the set." Noah said.
"Lightning will!" The football player declared, moving to do just that.
"Excellent work Noah. Your mediation skills and intellect are second to none." Alejandro said from his spot in the director's chair. He pops a fishtail in his mouth and winces before spiting it up, Noah gives him a flat look.
(confessional)
Alejandro: Like rotted fish intestine with a side order of fermented squid and dirty hockey equipment. (He barfs)
Static
Noah: I swear if he wasn't so charismatic and classically attractive no one would buy any of the honeyed bullsh*t that comes out of Alejandro's mouth. (He folded his arms and huffed, sending his bangs up from his forehead for just a moment.) You know I'm right.
Static
Team Chris is still in the cargo hold. Harold has one of the large wooden dowels in his hands. "I can totally use this like a bow staff!"
"I'm sure I could as well, but what would we fight?" Brick frowned.
"Ooh! An evil spirit! Sometimes they have masks like the hockey mask." Gwen said.
"Okay, but how are we gonna fit the fishtails into this?" Tyler asked.
"Perhaps we can use it at the climax. Our soldiers are failing and the evil spirit is about to win. Then someone throws the fish into its mouth and it dies. An explanation can be that the fish are so good the evil spirit cannot handle it." Xena suggested.
"Sounds like we have a plan. " Brick nodded.
/
Jo is standing in front of a gym background in her normal clothing. "Come on! Hustle! We need to get this finished!"
"You know it's not a race." Amber said flatly.
"Did I ask for your opinion?!" Jo snapped.
Chris begins to walk by, interrupting the argument."You have five minutes left to film your ad. Then it's happy fish yum, what, whatever. We'll be watching them in five minutes."
/
Back with Team Chris, Harold and Brick have the dowels in their hands like bo staff Gwen is wearing the hockey mask and holding the firework, dead bird, doughnut, and lights. Tyler has the candied fish in his hands.
"Alright, is everyone ready?" Xena asked.
"Ready over here." Harold said. Brick nodded.
"I just hope I don't mess up." Gwen smiled weakly.
"Whoo! Let's do this." Tyler cheered.
"Very well then. I will begin recording…now." Xena stated.
/
Everyone is sitting in the viewing room. Chris steps in front of them. "Alright,now that you're done filming it's time to see if your hard work has paid off. Chef?"
The hulking man was sulking. "No budget, no ad agency rip-off cheese-ball cheap show," he grumbled.
"First up, Team Valkyrie with: The gym!"
Team Valkyrie's commercial begins with Jo standing in front of a gym. In the background, Anne Maria, Topher, Dawn, and Amy are all in various states of exercise. Anne Maria is doing a terrible push up. Topher is failing to stretch properly. Dawn is sitting criss cross on the floor, and Amy is doing poor jumping jacks.
Jo scoffed. "My worthless gym class can't do anything right! If only there was a way to motivate them?"
Amber walked on screen and handed Jo the bag of Total Drama Yum Yum candied fishtails. "I heard these are good motivation."
Jo smirked and turned to the rest of the team. "Stop what you're doing!"
Anne Maria collapsed to the floor. Topher tripped over his own feet, and Amy groaned.
"I can't do it anymore!" Amy said.
"Seriously this is not good for my posture." Topher complained.
"Yer telling me. My nails are a wreck afta that stupid move." Anne Maria said.
Jo scowled but opened the bag and held up one of the fishtails. "Does this make you willing to work out?!"
The Valkyries unconvincingly agreed. They all started to do their exercises again, but Topher slipped, and grabbed Amy, who grabbed Anne Maria. All three of them fell on top of Dawn.
Jo turned to the camera and smiled tensely. "Total Drama Yum Yum happy go time fishtails are good enough to motivate even the laziest person!"
As the film ended Chris gave the members of Team Chris a look. "Okay that was um, interesting."
"It would have been better if someone had stuck to her lines!" Jo glared at Anne Maria.
"Hey you can't blame this on me! This was just a bad idea!" Anne Maria snapped.
"Oh sure, blame me! The leader is always the easiest scapegoat!" Jo snapped.
"You can't be a scapegoat if you're genuinely the one at fault." Amy huffed..
"Jo, I understand you believe yourself to be the best but-" Dawn began but Chris shushed her.
"Next up Team Conquest with Monster rampage." Chris said.
The screen began to show Team Conquest's commercial. Eva was wearing the spider costume, along with the hands and head of Chef's alien costume. She was stomping around breaking up the boxes before her. She let out a guttural roar as she crushed a 'house' under her foot.
Across from her stood the rest of the team wearing military helmets. "Oh no! The fiercely strong monster!" Alejandro cried.
"She's gonna destroy everything!" Duncan added.
"Think of the children." Noah deadpanned.
"Lightning thinks he could take her!" The football jock said.
"I think she's just misunderstood." Ella smiled.
""We will stop her this way!" Alejandro exclaimed, throwing a candy fishtail into Eva's mouth. She swallowed it.
Then the background becomes a swirling yellow as Eva dances poorly. The remaining five members of the team's heads have been superimposed in each corner, and on the middle bottom as they all sing a jingle. "Total Drama Yum Yum happy go time, candied fishtails better than monsters. Total Drama Yum Yum happy go time, taste so good, wash your face."
"Next up Team Chris with, "For the honor of fishtails, we fight!" Chris said.
The commercial starts with Gwen wearing the hockey mask walking across an old looking city like a lifeless drone. She groaned loudly. The focus shifted to Harold and Brick standing back to back with the wooden dowels in their hands. "We must protect the city!" Brick said.
"It's our duty! For honor!" Harold said. Together they 'ran' towards the 'evil spirit'
Gwen shifted upwards and threw lights towards the two warriors. They manage to dodge with their moves. Next she sends a dead bird after them. Harold hits it out of the way. Then Gwen sends a donut with a firework in it after them. They try to move out of the way but the explosion happens too quickly. After it clears Harold and Brick lie on the ground injured.
Gwen laughed evilly. "Hey!" The goth turned to face the voice. It's Tyler holding the bag of fishtails which have an otherworldly glow to them. "Take this!" He throws it at Gwen and she lets out an ear piercing shriek as she winces.
Harold and Brick stand up. "The monster is weakened!" Brick said.
"We must take our chance!" Harold declared.
Together they 'attacked' Gwen with their bow staffs and she fell to the floor in defeat.
The bag of fishtails is superimposed over the scene as a voice says. "Total Drama Yum Yum happy go time fishtails. So good they can't be beat."
Everyone blinks in stunned silence. Chris finally speaks up. "Well that was an interesting fight. Chef?"
"Chris, ah, I think I gotta go with Team Chris." The group of five high fived each other. "I don't know, I just like exploding donuts."
."Congratulations Team Chris." Chris told them. "But Chef, I also have to know: who bit the biggest?"
"Those guys," he replied, pointing at Team Valkyrie."With that stupid gym skit. You lose!" The team began to argue.
"But lucky for you this was just a reward challenge!" Chris declared. "Team Chris will be treated to an all you can eat Sushi Bar and an anime marathon." Team Chris cheered.
/
Team chris is shown in first class enjoying sushi and watching anime. Except for Brick. He's leaning against the back wall thinking. Xena joined him. "Why are you upset? Our team won."
"Yeah, but Jo still doesn't get what being a leader is about. I really want to help her. I'm not sure why she was so determined to push her vision onto her team." Brick sighed.
Xena placed a hand on his shoulder. "It is not your prerogative to help the other teams. We need you to focus on our own. As a cadet you must know you have a duty to those on your side first and foremost."
Brick nodded. "You are right. It is my duty as leader to focus on my own team. Still, if can help Jo, then I will."
Xena raised a brow. "If you feel you must."
(confessional)
Xena: This was an attempt to see how well I can use emotion to get others to do as I wish. The results are mixed. On the one hand, Jo reacted to my ploy as expected. Brick however reacted in an unexpected manner. He seems to be concerned. I fail to understand why. Logically, Jo's incapability to manage her team is good for us. Emotions are more complex than I thought. I need to observe more.
Static
We see Chris in the cabin, wearing his pilot outfit. "Interesting strategy Xena. " He chuckled. "It's Sayonara from Japan. Where will our travel's take us next? Will Team Valkyrie stop themselves from self-destructing?" The Valkyries are shown with most of the team glaring at Jo while Dawn looked worried. 'What other weird products does Chef want to sell?" Chef is shown holding a donut with an explosive in the middle. It explodes dough all over the cook. Then we return to the cockpit so Chris can end the outro. "All these questions and many more probably won't be answered on the next episode of Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"
A/N: That's right I mixed up the reward challenges on you! We get more Jo/Brick rivalry, we see Xena's new mindset in action for the first time. Alejandro and Noah continue to vie for Eva's loyalty. Topher and Anne Maria's friendship deepens. Team Valkyrie is still struggling. Tyler is having bi panic. Max has made his first 'evil' move.
Several of the dreams in the song are taken from the online biographies. Specifically what they see themselves doing in ten years. That's why Dawn's is a historian instead of something like a forest ranger or whatever. I tell you though getting Duncan's to fit in the line was a challenge.
