A/N
So this was a while coming lol. I spent some time reworking this so here's a renewed posting... the differences will become a lot more obvious in a couple chapters don't worry.
Stage 1: Pendulum's First Swing
When one hovers between life and death, perhaps it would be best to think of it like a pendulum.
Back and forth yet never in the same way before making a full path. Life and death, at two different ends yet in a way inextricably connected and closer than some would think. A continuous loop from one direction to another, opposite yet equal in status and position, always changing ends while almost never losing pace. Of course, where life and death were constant eventually the pendulum's swings would come to a stop, as nothing could remain in motion forever. But when it did, that is when the center would be found.
The final point among countless rotations could ironically only be found once it came to a halt.
In the conversations of life and death this point could possibly be regarded as "the end", when the world itself finally ceases and falls to nothing. Or perhaps it would mean something else entirely. Such as humanity by some miracle overcomes death and rather than "the end" the point when the pendulum stops is a "beginning."
Or perhaps all it needs is to be pushed, and the cycle will simply begin again once it is set swinging by another motion, another force acting on it to ensure it never stops.
These were, perhaps, not the things a nine-year-old boy who'd been laid up in the hospital for days on end should have been thinking as he kept drifting in and out of consciousness. Yet those were the child's thoughts as he found himself reaching a strange calm within this swinging state between the world of the living and the dead. Or at least what he could probably assume as much.
One could likely blame all the time he spent cooped up reading for his surprisingly philosophical thoughts.
It had been a stroke of bad luck, really. The boy had always had a poor constitution and was one to fall ill easily. His health had been steadily improving since he was a baby, but many thought he was unlikely to live long into his adulthood unless he was kept from the very world to preserve him. Many muttered of the poor fortune the child had, born into a family that prided strength yet born frail of body. For a child of royal blood, it was truly regarded as a shame.
To the young boy named Sena zel Britannia, he knew even from this age he was looked at with pity for his frailty.
Pity that he wasn't expected to live for long, and pity that he had the misfortune to be the weak link among many, many siblings far stronger of body then him.
Pity that he wasn't even of full Britannian blood either. His mother's place as a royal consort was one of political bargaining, not even Britannian herself, but instead given to the Emperor of the nation in a bid to maintain cooperation between her home nation of Japan and the Empire for as long as possible. And so, he was looked down on for that as well.
A Prince born of a foreign noble and weak of body. It wasn't hard for him to reason why so many nobles looked down on him.
He certainly wasn't destined for much.
The line of succession? His place in it was a formality, pushed so far down the line nobody would dare entertain the thought he would ever take the throne himself.
Military accomplishment? A pipe dream for a boy born so frail.
Political power? He had been praised for his sharp mind by his tutors, but few expected a half-breed to find a station in the land of politics when he'd only ever be looked down upon and mocked by others for something he had no control of.
One could even consider his very birth a matter of convenience, conceived solely so those who'd sent his mother to a land she was hardly welcome in would stay quiet and believe they could have some form of leverage in foreign affairs.
The only people Sena could say he counted on were his mother and the few half-siblings who he spent time with at the villa they lived in, one that put them well and away from most dealings of royalty. The boy didn't think much of the palace staff either, as they looked at him with the same pity and disinterest as the noble court so often did.
And now here he was, suffering from a sudden and horrid sick spell that had struck him while playing with some of his younger and more amiable siblings in the garden, hovering between life and death like a swinging pendulum. Yet now he felt as if he'd reached the point where he stopped swinging. It didn't quite feel like death though, whatever it was supposed to feel like.
"And yet you do not seem resigned to death. You still desire to live," A voice said. It was a woman's voice, surprisingly.
"Well… people would be sad if I died," A simple answer that made whoever spoke to him give a light chuckle. "I at least have to stay alive for Mother. Some of my siblings would be sad too. Lelouch, Nunnally, Euphemia, Cornelia, Marrybell... Plus it just feels like I can't die yet. I know I'm young but… there must be more out there for me."
"You honestly believe so? Even as you hover between life and death like this?" The voice wasn't criticizing in tone, simply curious about the boy.
Sena let out a mumble as he mulled it over. Was this odd person expecting a more complex answer from him? True he was intelligent for a child but that's all he was.
"I mean… I'm only nine. Besides, I don't like the way everyone looks at me. They treat me like a fragile doll who'll break from the smallest bump."
"Are they incorrect though?"
"… not really," The boy's reluctant answer brought out a slight chuckle from his mysterious companion. "Are you some kind of spirit? Or maybe the Shinigami that Mother tells me about?"
"No, not quite. I simply oversee this place you've found yourself hovering between."
"Is that really different?"
"Quite so. Think of us as a Caretaker of the collective consciousness. We make sure everything works as it should in this world. And sometimes, we take interest in certain individuals."
"Are you talking to me because you're interested in me?"
"Allow us to tell you something first," Sena was finally able to start making out a shape, vaguely able to tell this Caretaker was kneeling into his view. "We do not trust humanity. For countless eons we have watched them, seen the ways they abuse power for selfish ends. Mankind is pitiful, selfish, and defective. We have given mankind a gift, and yet they have done naught but misuse it for their own selfish ends. What do you think you would do, were you in our place, child?"
"Probably take it away?" Sena let out a somewhat confused mutter. "If we've just been misusing this gift or whatever, then I guess it makes sense you'd want to take it away from us."
"You believe this idea to make sense?"
"It sounds reasonable. But, what if someone with this gift was able to help people with it?"
"Some have tried. Most have not. So, now that you know how we view mankind, allow us to ask you something in turn. That you hover so close to death yet wish to continue living, pulling yourself back and forth each time, has caught our eye. So, could you tell us? Do you truly desire to continue living?"
Sena didn't feel he had to think it over much. He had always been told by his mother to take time to decide on things, to try and think things through. But this was a time where he didn't quite think such.
"Of course I want to. Like I said, people would be sad if I died. And there could be more for me. There must be. So, I can't die yet. I have to keep living for them and myself."
"A wise answer from one so young. Then how about this, child? We will send you back to the living and ensure you will be able to accomplish your goals. We are curious to see what you may do, but there will be a price to this."
"So… a trade?"
"A test, to be precise," the Caretaker stood, Sena tilting his head. "You, and you alone, will lose this gift which we have given mankind. However, in exchange, we will grant you something in turn to fill what was taken. Your body will be healed, and you will be able to live as a normal human. But, when the time comes, when this gift begins to influence the course of history once more, you will be there. Your fate will become bound to those who would use our gift, for good or ill… but lacking this gift, you will in turn be separated from its influence."
"So… what will that mean?"
"It means you will become the Wild Card, a Pendulum of destiny whose swinging can interfere with the influence of the gift. You will be set upon the path fate is bound to go down, inevitably crossing paths with those who hold it. We may even interfere to ensure you are where you will be most effective. But, when you are there, only you can decide what choices to make, even if destiny itself begins to flow against you. Is this acceptable?"
"I think… I'll be fine with that. Whatever this "gift" is, I don't think I'll need it."
"Then you and I have an agreement. You may forget this conversation, but you will know when the time comes. Until then, do enjoy yourself. You'll see us again, do not worry. Your connection to this world will remain strong even after you return to the living world."
Sena then felt as if he was being pulled upwards. For a single moment, his vision was that of an open, endless dawn or evening sky reflected by a still sea. And standing before him had been a dark-haired woman, looking at him with a pleasant smile and waving him off as everything pulled away in his vision.
"We do hope you can prove us wrong about humanity, Sena."
When the boy returned to actual consciousness, he was first met by the soft beeps of the medical equipment monitoring his wellbeing. His vibrant blue eyes opened to the cold ceiling of the room that had been his home since falling sick.
Yet this time, as Sena managed to pull himself into a sitting position, his bluish black hair falling about his pale face a shock of white over his left eye marking the otherwise dark color. He didn't feel the weakness he was used to in himself. On quite the contrary, as he moved his small arms about, he felt far better than he had in ages.
A glint in the corner of his eyes got the boy's attention. Amid a few sets of flowers and letters was something smaller yet easy to notice. Reaching over to the cart it was laid on, Sena's fingers wrapped around something cool. Pulling it into proper view, he found it to be an almost clear blue crystal, worked into a black metal casing in the shape of wings wrapping around it. And it was worked onto an odd chain, one that remained a single form before splitting into a proper necklace further up.
"A pendulum?" Sena found it almost amusing considering his earlier thoughts while in his half-conscious state. Or whatever it had been that he'd just experienced. Grabbing the top of the chain, the boy let the pendulum swing, his eyes following its rotations. "Who left this here?"
As it swung, the bright noon light coming in from the window glinted off something on the pendulum. Stopping it, Sena turned it over to find what the glint had been, and out at the back of the casing, something was engraved into a strip of metal that ran all the way to the end of the inlaid gem.
"As a pendulum swings, the world continues to turn. Whichever way it may go, it will find a path no matter what," The boy read it aloud, feeling even more puzzled.
He didn't have much more time to mull over those words before the door of the room flew open and a stunned gasp caught his attention. A young nurse was staring at the young prince with her jaw hanging open, the clipboard she'd been toting clattering to the floor. Sena barely even got to give the young woman a wave before she darted out of the room yelling for a doctor. The rush that followed, led by his panicked mother, proved to young Sena that his sudden awakening was making quite the stir for everyone involved in it.
"A miracle? Mother, I think that's hardly the way to put it."
"It can't be anything but. Some feared you wouldn't wake again," Sena softly smiled as his mother spoke through joyous tears.
Once the commotion had died down mother and son had been left to themselves to speak, and the woman named Reina was in a haze of thought at seeing her young son awake. The mother and son quite notably differed in their features, proof of the woman's status as foreign to Britannia. Hair as dark as night in long, straight locks contrasting her pale face and forming a straight frame around her eyes. Eyes the same vibrant blue as Sena's the feature he for sure inherited from her before all else.
Sena was aware from he'd inherited a number of his features from his father's side, and a part of him always felt sad he didn't look akin to his mother as much as he'd like.
"You've spent the last few days drifting back and forth. The doctors didn't have hope but… oh Sena, I'm so glad you're awake."
"I'm feeling a lot better, actually," Sena said, Reina giving him a surprised gaze. "It's kind of odd. I mean, I can't change how weak my body is right now, but… I don't feel weak. It's… strange."
"Maybe miracles do exist," Reina mused, kissing her son on the forehead. "Just rest for now. Let the doctors and nurses do what they must, and we'll go home in time. As usual."
"I'm used to it by now. Don't worry," Sena nodded to reassure his mother, beaming at her with the brightest smile he could. "Oh, also, I found this," Sena reached to the side and showed the pendulum he'd discovered. "Do you know who could have put this in here?"
"Hmm, perhaps a gift from a noble? Or maybe one of your siblings?" Reina gently took the pendulum necklace and looked it over. "It's pretty. Whoever decided to give this to you has good taste."
As the woman handed the pendant back to the child, the door opened. Sena wasn't sure why, but the doctor who entered had a grim look on his face. Reina looked worried for a moment, the man clearing his throat.
"Lady Reina, I do not mean to interrupt you, but could we talk in the hall? Some news just came in and I was asked to report it to you, as you are a member of the royal family."
"Of course. Sena, give me and the doctor a moment."
Sena nodded as his mother stood and followed the man out. The door shut, but Sena, against what had to be all orders, hopped out of the bed. His legs were shaky from lack of use, but he was surprised by how stable he felt. Moving to the door as quietly as he could, he moved the door open just enough for him to hear what was being spoken about.
"What's happened?"
"I regret to say that there was an incident at the Aries Villa," The doctor said, Reina's hands flying to her mouth as she gasped. "The palace was attacked. Terrorists, from the reports. Regrettably, Lady Marianne was killed in the attack, and her daughter was wounded as well. She's being brought here for treatment as we speak. None of this has been made public yet, but the news is spreading among the nobility."
"My god… who would… could it have been a setup by someone? Marianne did have many who disliked her," Reina's hands lowered, but Sena could see how they tightened as she folded them together. He had to admire his mother's ability to maintain her composure. But… what will happen to Lelouch and Nunnally? Sena thought.
"They're searching for the culprits as we speak, but it's likely little will be found," The doctor had a hint of regret in his voice. "I would be cautious of considering this a potential assassination by Lady Marianne's rivals, Highness. I mean no offense but as you are Japanese, it would likely paint an ill light if you were to accuse someone."
"I am well aware of how the Royal Court views me, doctor," Reina's tone took on a firm sound. The doctor cleared his throat. "But I thank you for this news. I can only hope her children will be treated well."
Sena closed the door fully and scurried back to the bed. His mother and the doctor spoke a few minutes more before the door opened. Reina gave a brief bow to the doctor before it shut again, and as the woman sat back down by the hospital bed, the refined, controlled air around her immediately fell away. The woman's shoulders sagged, and her eyes glinted as tears began to roll from them.
"Oh Sena, it's horrible. Lady Marianne is… I can only guess how those who were close to her will respond to this," Reina laid a hand near Sena, the boy placing his over it. "What a cruel fate… why her? Marianne was such a kind, strong woman. Or perhaps it's because she was admired that someone sought this."
"Will Lelouch and Nunnally be okay?" Sena asked, his mother giving him a warm smile through her tears. The boy felt a twinge of guilt at having to feign ignorance of her conversation with the doctor. But part of him felt she knew he'd overheard.
"They will be fine, Sena. It may be hard for them, but I feel in the end they'll be alright. They still have each other and whatever other members of the family care for them," Reina assured, tucking a bit of Sena's hair behind his ear. "I at least hope the news of your recovery will… soften the blow, somewhat. Though I can only imagine the pain of children so young who've lost their mother. Hopefully young Lelouch won't act rashly."
"Lelouch is smart," Sena said. "But… he can be a hot head. Schneizel also said he's a sore loser."
"Ahaha, he does dislike when you beat him at games besides chess," Reina chuckled, and Sena smiled that at least she didn't look as sad now. But… who was that person I met? He thought back to what he'd seen earlier. Had it just been some dream he'd had in his near-dead state, or was it something else? Something real but not in a way he'd be aware of? A Caretaker… caretaker of what?
Sena looked to the side and out the window, the view stretching out over the well-kept garden of the hospital grounds. He had to wonder what all of this at once had to mean. The Caretaker and her send off of him, the sudden feeling of strength in his body, and now this news of the death of a woman he in some ways would perhaps have called a second mother to him.
The boy couldn't have any idea at the time just how much these major yet seemingly innocuous events in his life would mean for the world moving forward.
