John Dory yawned and rubbed his eyes. He was tired, but how could he sleep? There was too much to do. Too many things to think about. And he felt way too guilty as he replayed in his mind every mistake he'd made over the past few days. Weeks. Months even.

He'd actually probably been making mistakes for years. His whole life, even. He tried so hard to do good for his family, and all he did was screw them up, and then turn the other way when they actually let out a cry for help.

John Dory groaned and slumped across the table, knocking aside his pencils and papers. He'd been spending hours scrawling out plans and ideas, doing anything he could to feel productive and useful for once. It wasn't enough, and he knew it would never be, but it was all he could think to do.

He felt like a failure and a fool. How could he have let things get this bad? How much worse would he have let it get? John Dory felt his stomach twist at the thought of what Floyd had been putting himself through for all this. He felt furious at himself. When Spruce had first told him and Clay what was going on he hadn't believed him. He had thought that Spruce was just making things up, or using Floyd as an excuse to get out of something. Clay did that sometimes.

He hadn't taken Spruce seriously until he had mentioned Floyd's splotchy hair. Even then he had thought that Spruce was just messing with him, trying to use a sensitive topic to trick him, but that was when Clay had spoken up and said that he'd noticed the same thing. He just hadn't known what it meant.

John Dory made a growl-like keen from the back of his throat. He gripped at his ears and tugged them sharply. How was he supposed to make things right. This thing with Floyd, this burnout, it didn't just go away. At least, it didn't for John Dory. He was always overwhelmed. He felt like he was always hanging by a thread, and the smallest thing made him feel like the world was falling apart.

He didn't know if that was the burnout, just constantly lingering in the back of his mind, or if he was broken in another way. He prayed to the muses that it was just a problem with him. He would give anything to spare Floyd from this.

"Johnny?" He jumped when he heard Clay's voice. His brothers were all supposed to be asleep. It was the only reason why John Dory had let himself lose his composure like this.

"Y-yeah, Clay?" Despite the torment he felt, John Dory's voice sounded as natural as ever. He was nothing if not a good performer.

Clay was wearing a sweater that was too big for him, but was his favorite item of clothing. He used to wear it all the time, rarely leaving the house without it, and yet John Dory found himself having a hard time remembering the last time he'd seen Clay wearing it. He had assumed that Clay had outgrown it, at least emotionally. Clearly that wasn't the case.

Clay picked up some papers that had fallen to the ground. He straightened them and looked over some of them. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make a plan." John Dory accepted the papers, rearranging them so they were in the right order. "I need to feel like I'm doing something useful."

Clay rubbed his arm. "...Can I help? I want to be useful."

John Dory wanted to send him away. He wanted to brush aside Clay's need to be useful, because he was still just a kid. Cla shouldn't have to be useful. That was what his big brothers were for. It was John Dory's job to work and take care of the others. But he couldn't do it all himself.

And Clay was a big brother himself. It was so easy for John Dory to forget, because Clay was just another of his baby brothers, but Clay probably saw Floyd the same way that John Dory saw Spruce. Even if there was only a small age difference between them, the difference was still there, and for the older sibling the gap was painfully massive.

John Dory patted the chair next to him. Clay gave him a small smile and climbed onto the chair, looking at all the papers. "So, what are we doing?"

"There are a few things, and not a lot of time to do it." John Dory said. Floyd's recovery was going to be a long-term thing. John Dory thought that he would be keeping a close eye out for this kind of thing for the rest of their lives. There were a few things that needed to be dealt with right away before things got even worse.

"I'm going to take him to the doctor first thing in the morning." John Dory said. "If we don't take care of that ankle we're all going to forget about it." It wouldn't be because they didn't care, but Floyd's mental and emotional well-being seemed like much more urgent of a problem than a sprained ankle that would probably heal on its own if they didn't aggravate it more.

John Dory tapped his foot on the table. "I wanted to ask the doctor about his foot, but also the fact that Floyd hasn't been sleeping, and his hair hasn't been doing what he wants it to do. Maybe it's all just a stress thing and it will go away, but if it's not I want to know." He felt silly and paranoid. He knew he was just overcompensating for the previous inattentiveness. Clay didn't judge him though. He nodded in agreement as he looked at some of the papers and notes that John Dory had made.

"You're changing the order of the songs we're going to be performing?" Clay asked. He looked at the dozen or so different options that John had written out. He still wasn't completely satisfied with the set-list, but he thought this would be better. "Why?"

"I didn't want all the dance-heavy numbers to be one right after the other." John Dory said. "Maybe Floyd's foot is going to fine and he just needs to rest it for a day, but I was just thinking, what if the doctor said he needed to take it easy for more than that? What if he can't do the dances properly for the performance?"

Clay rolled his eyes. "It's just a sprain. It's not broken."

"I know that." John Dory pouted. "I just meant that I don't want it to get any worse, so even if he's okayed for dancing, maybe it would still be good to space out the bigger dances. And I also thought about doing the ballads sitting instead of standing. The audience might actually like it. It'll give it a more intimate and personal feel to it." John Dory nodded to himself. It wasn't uncommon for him to talk through his ideas, even if nobody else was really listening.

"What if the doctor says he shouldn't dance at all for a bit?" Clay asked. He looked nervous. John Dory knew he wasn't worried about the performance, he was worried about how he would react to things not going according to plan. Fortunately, John did actually have a plan for that eventuality.

"That's what you can help with." John Dory pulled out another set of papers with some sketches on them. They weren't masterpieces, but he understood what it was going for, so they did their job well enough. "I thought you might be able to dumb down some of the harder bits, or have sitting down versions of the moves. Then me and Floyd will do the dance that way, and you and Spruce will do it how it's supposed to be. Then it will still look like it was done on purpose, and the audience doesn't even have to know that Floyd's hurt."

John Dory knew that his brothers thought that he didn't care about drawing a line between their work and home lives, but he did. He just didn't know how to enforce that line when their fans and managers were always trying to cross it. Nobody needed to know that Floyd was hurt, or that his hair was splotchy. The last thing they needed was a series of news articles about just how sensitive the 'sensitive one' was.

Clay looked at the drawings, twisting in his chair and doing the arm motions of some of their choreography. "I think I can make it work." He said. "It'll be real simple, and a bit of a rush job, but I can do it."

John Dory breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I know it's super short notice, and we're supposed to have tomorrow off-"

"Don't worry about it." Clay said. "I don't mind working a bit more if it means Floyd's going to be okay." He paused and gave John a vulnerable look. "He is going to be okay, isn't he?"

"Yeah." John Dory said. It was only a little bit of a lie. It wasn't that he didn't think that Floyd could get better, he was just worried about how they could manage it. He was scared they would fail their little brother again. But Clay didn't need to know about those concerns. He needed reassurances right now. "Yeah, he's going to be just fine." He smirked wickedly and ruffled Clay's hair. "I mean, he's got some pretty great big brothers looking out for him.

Clay giggled and pushed John's hand away. "You're the worst." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he gave a massive yawn that made John Dory feel tired himself.

"Sleepy?" He asked.

"No." Clay said in a whiny voice that made it clear just how tired he was. John Dory gave him a fond smile.

"Well, do you think you're up to cuddling with Floyd?" John Dory asked. "I think Spruce needs a break." Floyd had slept just fine while they had their big kid meeting, but the second they were done Spruce had gone to cuddle him. It made Spruce feel better. It was how he felt useful about this situation.

John Dory knew that Spruce would be more than happy to play the part of Floyd's pillow, but the excuse was the only thing that he could think of to get Clay to bed. Sure enough the boy looked convinced. That was the one good thing about wanting to feel useful. Any little task, no matter how unimportant, could scratch that itch.

Sure enough, Clay agreed immediately. "I can do that. I'm good at cuddling." He said it so seriously, and John Dory couldn't help but laugh. He hoped that Clay never grew out of being his goofy little bro.

"You sure are." John Dory got up from the table. He took Clay's hand and walked him to the bedroom. There was a dimly glowing mushroom set on the nightstand, gently illuminating the room. Spruce had dug out their old nightlight. It was a good call on his part. Floyd had always been fond of that thing, and sometimes John Dory wondered if he shouldn't have encouraged Floyd to stop using it so much. He had thought that Floyd had grown out of it, because he had reached the age where Clay, Spruce, and John Dory had all grown out of needing a nightlight. He had thought that surely the case would be the same for him.

"How's it going?" John Dory asked in a whisper. Spruce wasn't asleep, and John Dory hadn't thought he would be.

"He's had some nightmares." Spruce said. "But he quickly fell back asleep. He must be really tired." John Dory grimaced sympathetically. He could understand fatigue. It wasn't fun.

"What are his nightmares about?" Clay asked as he climbed into Spruce's bed, nuzzling against Floyd.

"He didn't say." Spruce said. "I don't think it matters. I think he's just stressed, and it's making his mind mean." He looked at John Dory. "You joining the cuddle pile?" It was an incredibly tempting offer, but John Dory knew he couldn't accept. He still felt far too guilty and antsy to relax.

"Maybe in a bit." John Dory said. Spruce narrowed his eyes at him. He always seemed to see through John Dory's walls, and it made him feel paranoid. It felt like his brother was dissecting him. "Good night, guys." He said too quickly and loudly. He started to leave the bedroom.

"Hold up." Spruce said. "I need to stretch my legs and get some fresh air, but you're always saying we're not supposed to go out on our own after dark. Why don't we go for a walk?"

John Dory took a deep breath. Spruce knew him so well, and John Dory hated it. After letting his little bro down so badly he couldn't bring himself to say no to any of his brothers, and Spruce knew it.

"Yeah, sure." John Dory said. He knew that Spruce wouldn't buy how casual his tone was, but Clay wouldn't think twice about it. He looked at Clay. "Will you be okay taking care of Floyd for a bit?"

"I got him." Clay said. John Dory was both proud and annoyed that his brothers were trying as hard as he was to be accommodating. Why did his brothers have to be so great?

He and Spruce left the pod and went into the night air. It was a little chilly out, but it felt cool and comfortable. John Dory had always preferred being cold to being hot. Spruce took the initiative, leading the way to some higher and more isolated branches. It was the kind of area that John Dory would forbid his brothers from going, but it was late enough that there wasn't much of a risk of bergens getting them.

Spruce settled on a branch near the top of the tree. He looked out over Bergen Town and towards the ocean. John Dory sat next to him. They just sat there in silence for several long minutes before Spruce finally spoke up

"So, how are you doing?" Spruce asked. John Dory shrugged, trying to hide the tension in his shoulders.

"Fine." He said evenly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"John." Spruce's voice was stern. He stiffened. "Don't even start that. You're not fine. If you really were fine I would push you off this branch. Floyd is hurting. He's hurting because of us. You'd be a pretty sorry excuse for a brother if you were really fine with that."

That verbal blow right there was a good reminder of why John Dory had encouraged Spruce to adopt the 'heartthrob' persona. John Dory had always known how strong Spruce was, because he had always been so good at tearing down walls with one very effective hit, and he was also sensitive enough to know just how to help pick up the pieces afterward.

John Dory broke down. He'd been doing so good at keeping his emotions under control, but Spruce's words were too much for him to fight. His stomach twisted painfully and his breath got caught in his throat as tears started to fall from his eyes. John Dory started crying, which was something he didn't think he had done since he was just a kid.

Spruce, the jerk, didn't hesitate to give comfort. He scooted closer to John and put his arm around him, pulling him in to lean against him.

"I know you feel guilty, because you're a good big brother." Spruce said. That just made John Dory cry harder, because he couldn't remember the last time one of his brothers had said that he was a good big brother, despite his flaws. Spruce just rubbed his arm and held him tighter. He had gotten really good at this comforting thing. He was better than John Dory, but he didn't think that was a particularly high hurdle to pass.

"I feel really bad too." Spruce said. "I-I tripped him yesterday. I'm the reason why his ankle's all screwed up in the first place, and I didn't even notice." Spruce took in a shaky breath. "We all messed up. We all have to do better. But that doesn't make us bad brothers. It just means we need to do better."

John Dory sniffled and nuzzled against Spruce. "I don't know how." That was why he had been writing down so many plans, because he really didn't know what he was doing.

Spruce snorted. "Neither do I. But Floyd deserves good brothers. So do Branch and Clay. But we're the ones they're stuck with. So I guess we're going to just have to figure it out."

John Dory nudged Spruce's side. "So do you."

Spruce looked confused for a second before he laughed and squeezed John Dory closer. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But you know what else I know? That you deserve good bros too."

John Dory couldn't help but laugh too, though he was still crying. It was an exhausting feeling. "Dude, you can't just hit me like that. I wasn't ready for it." He was always ready for Spruce to get mad at him, because it happened all the time. He could even be ready for playful teasing. This genuine care was new and unexpected, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

"Oh, you weren't ready." Spruce had a teasing look in his eyes. "So, I guess you're not ready for me to say something else, like, oh, I don't know, you're a really caring big bro that I don't give enough credit to."

John Dory's face heated up. He tried to pull away from Spruce, but his brother just tightened his grip on him. He really was very strong, and John cursed those muscles of his. "Noooo."

Spruce just laughed at his suffering. "Or maybe you're not ready to hear that you're really nice, and fun, and I miss hanging out with you."

"Stop." John Dory whined, but he was ignored.

"And you're a really good song writer." Spruce said. "Like, you're just a kid, and you're always busy taking care of the four of us, and yet you keep hitting out banger after banger, and it's just not fair that the muses gave all that musical talent to just one troll."

"This is assault and slander, and I won't stand for it." John Dory pouted. He felt equally embarrassed and ashamed.

"And I know we fight a lot, but I wouldn't want anybody else as my big bro." Spruce said. His tone wasn't teasing anymore. It was completely sincere, and that just made the whole thing worse. "You're one of my best friends, and I love you."

John Dory buried his face in Spruce's chest to try to hide the fact that he was still crying. "You're the worst, and I hate you so much." John Dory whined. "Love you too, Bro."

"We'll figure things out with Floyd." Spruce said. "You know that our family is all that matters to him. He did all of this for us. We just gotta put in that same effort for him."

"Why are you so good at this?" John Dory asked.

"I had a pretty good big brother to show me the ropes." Spruce said. He finally released him.

"I'm a terrible big brother." John Dory said.

"No you're not." Spruce said. "You're just not a perfect one. I can forgive your imperfections if you can forgive me of mine."

John Dory rubbed his eyes one more time. "I can try."

"That's all we can ask for." Spruce said. "Come on. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be away from Floyd for too long. I know Clay's taking good care of him, but I'm still worried."

"No, no, yeah, me too." John Dory said. He needed to be near his brothers right now. He and Spruce made their way home. They went into their bedroom and found Clay and Floyd sprawled across Spruce's bed. It was adorable. John Dory could stand there and just watch them all night. Spruce didn't give him the chance.

"Has anyone ever told you you're just as hard on yourself as you are on us?" Spruce whispered. He took John Dory's hand and pulled him into the bed. "You need sleep. It's been a really long day. We'll do better tomorrow."

"There's still so much to do." John Dory said.

"We'll do it tomorrow." Spruce promised. "But right now Floyd's okay, you're okay, and our family's going to be just fine." John Dory didn't believe him. It was a comforting reassurance, but it still wasn't something that Spruce could promise. They could try their hardest, and maybe it wouldn't be enough.

But they would try, and they would keep trying. They were brothers. What else were they supposed to do?

John Dory relaxed. He was still terrified and a little ill at the thought of what had happened. He was scared of hurting his brothers again. But he had all of his brothers with him. Floyd was okay. Clay was doing pretty good at big-brothering. Spruce was better than he could ever hope to be. And John Dory would do better tomorrow. For right now he was just going to sleep. Spruce was right. It had been a very long day.