Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender
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The vacation was blissful, the desperate reprieve he needed, a soothing to his restless, battered soul. He felt better than he had in a long time, and it was more than a shock. After years of so much stress, torment, and grief, it was miraculous.
And Azula had helped make it miraculous, against all odds.
They had settled into a routine together. Aang would always wake up from his place on her bedroom floor when Agni rose, and while Azula would go out into the courtyard to train her katas, to restore her elite competency in firebending after years languishing in a cell, he would meditate, trying to attain peace for his chaotic soul; sometimes; he felt that he was beginning to succeed, and on other days, he regretted deceiving himself so boldly. On some days, he would go out and spar with her to help her recovery in her bending, cycling through each element, never attacking with all at once, only using a single element until she became more proficient in defending herself, bearing more resemblance to the skilled girl of the Great War in her physical capabilities. She would always use fire, and Aang would only use air for a time before cycling to water for a time before cycling to earth for a time before cycling to fire for a time.
When they were both finished with their rituals, they would share a light meal and go out into the town, blending in seamlessly with the crowds of Ember Island. While most of the time, they went to the beach and destroyed opponents in volleyball or went to the town's daily-held festivals, there were rare times when they would attend a play performed by the Ember Island Players. Apparently, the first play they saw together, Love Amongst the Dragons, was the same play Azula and Zuko saw as children with their mother.
"A dreadful production," Azula condemned, tilting her chin proudly. "If they knew they were performing for a royal, they would cease their mediocrity."
Aang smiled, trying but failing to hide his amusement. "But you're here, watching anyway."
She glared at him. "Your mockery leaves much to be desired."
"Much like the performance," he teased, gesturing to the performance on stage from where they sat in a booth.
"I read this epic as a child," Azula emphasized. "I mimicked the feats described, and it was wondrous. To encounter a performance so listless is appalling, an insult to the wonders in the epic, which must be portrayed accurately. Where is the wonder?"
"I think you actually like it but are embarrassed that you like it."
"Absurdity," she dismissed, waving a hand. "If I hear another mispronounced word, I am leaving."
But Azula didn't leave at the next mispronounced word‚ beginning their pattern of seeing a play every other week.
On one special morning, Azula taught him lightning generation, surprising him. After a moment of hesitation, he eagerly listened to her, perfectly mirroring her movements, and within a single try, he created lightning, firing the strike into the sky, the sound exploding through the air; he was relieved, but he seemed to be the only one.
Azula stared at the spot where the lightning vanished, something akin to shock on her face. "I cannot decide whether to envy or marvel. You produced a beautiful lightning strike on your first try."
Aang shrugged and followed the movements again, and lightning erupted into the sky. "I can see why you're so fond of it," he observed, feeling the impact in his chi; it felt very pleasurable, much more pleasurable than redirecting it because the lightning was actually his, born of his energy and focus. "It is effective and powerful."
The fleeting jealous look, under which there was longing, faded as she turned and looked at him, eyes roaming him; it seemed she settled on wonder. "It took me years of dedication to fire lightning. I practiced and practiced. But you mimicked my movements and separated the energies masterfully. I marvel at the genius of The Avatar, the transcendent instinct refined by lifetimes where all I possess is the limits of the mortal mind."
"It's not that," he assured after several moments. "If lightning was born of Air, all Airbenders would master it. It's actually remarkably simple- "
Her golden eyes widened slightly. "Simple?" she echoed, both disbelieving and fascinated. "The cold-blooded fire is not simple- "
"For Firebenders who brim with passion, it is not simple," Aang clarified. "For an Airbender who was raised with the ideal of enlightenment and the serenity of the mind, achieving balance and mastering your chi flow, lightning is remarkably simple. You have to be serene to master lightning. I doubt many Firebenders attain serenity."
Azula was quiet for several moments, something unreadable on her face. "I imagine not."
That's when it occurred to Aang. "You can't do it," he realized. "You can't wield lightning."
She tensed before nodding curtly. "Only unconsciously when you tried to awaken me from my nightmare that first night. I have tried, and I do not have the serenity. I lack what I once had."
"But do you really want what you once had? Did you really have serenity before?"
"I knew I had that serenity before," she observed, voice not as calm as he knew she wanted. "I knew. And I was capable of lightning. Because I thought I had serenity; I convinced myself completely and utterly that what my father desired was my desire, putting me in serenity. I deluded myself so thoroughly that I tricked myself into serenity."
"And when you realized the truth, you lost your serenity."
Azula glanced at him with a tight smile. "And I am unsure I shall regain it."
"Maybe you can reach a new serenity," he offered with a smile. "And maybe serenity is the wrong word. Maybe it's a void. You need to empty your mind, falling into the void of serenity—not having any thoughts or feelings to distract."
She tried daily but failed each time in her pursuits, and even when Aang tried to help her mindset, she was incapable.
They continued their pattern.
Usually, after the rest of the morning was thoroughly spent, they would both go eat at some of the food stands and relive the Great War by filling in the holes in the other's memory. One time, Aang recalled to Azula how he and the rest of the Gaang hid at the Fire Lord's own home on Ember Island, the very same home that they themselves were staying at, at the twilight of the Great War thanks to Zuko's suggestion after she attacked them all at the Western Air Temple. Azula shook her head in disbelief, wondering aloud how she could have missed something so simple. She herself recounted her time in prison and how she and her mother reconciled somewhat, yet Azula revealed quietly that a part of her heart was waiting for her mother to disappear from her life once again, finding time to say goodbye to Zuko but not to her.
Aang knew that, while she and her mother had healed somewhat, progress was still needed to recreate the bond between mother and daughter. To distract her from sorrowful thoughts about her mother, he willingly told her stories of his life before the Great War ever ravaged the world, finding it somehow easy to share such details with her. Perhaps it was because there was no expectation with her; she merely listened and asked questions, proving her interest, allowing Aang to relive those beautiful moments he would never have again.
"It was thrilling to ride down the mail chutes in such a way," Azula admitted after he told her about his times with Bumi riding down Omashu's mail chutes in the good times. "Although perhaps that was because it was a chase."
Aang shrugged. "It was still fun. We can go some time and do it together."
"It was," she agreed. "Technically, we already did it together- "
"Doesn't count," he dismissed, laughing. "You were trying to capture me, so you weren't able to enjoy it- "
Azula smirked, eyes alight with the memory. "Oh, I enjoyed it very much."
"But you would enjoy it so much more if you rode down it with me like Bumi and I used to."
She tilted her head. "You really knew King Bumi from before?"
He felt whatever contentment attained dwindle from such a reminder. "I did. We were friends. Seeing him again after my Awakening was a relief and grief."
Azula pondered his confession for several moments, curiosity on her face. "What was he like from before?"
Aang felt a mixture of joy and sorrow at remembering Bumi from his childhood. "He was as crazy as ever, but he was a bending genius. And he'd always try to charm girls. Whenever I visited Omashu, we'd spend the entire time pranking people and having fun, getting in trouble, and causing chaos. One time we were busted for riding the mail chutes, and we were brought before one of the king's officials, which embarrassed Gyatso, and, now looking back, probably indebted Bumi's father."
It was incredibly troubling how some events from his childhood only became clear in their depths when he became an adult.
One of her brows rose. "He was not Omashu's prince?"
His brows furrowed. "No. I don't know how he became king, and I don't even know how Gyatso knew Bumi's father, but they were friends. I never got the chance to ask, and I doubt Bumi knows." The dark thoughts surged through his mind, overwhelming him. "So much was lost, and there's so much I'll never know."
"You want to know everything?"
"About the past," he murmured, trying to keep his words from catching; his emotions were strong. "About the time in which I should have lived and was supposed to live. It was beautiful then, and there were once wonders and marvels that the world is deprived of now. I want desperately to regain what I lost when I was a boy, when things made sense, and people loved one another and were unified, rather than the world now that's imbalanced and chaotic, mired in conflict and war, hatred and disgust. I want to know everything that was—because everything that was is better than everything that is."
Azula stared at him, golden eyes assessing him. "A noble endeavor, but did the past provoke this present- "
"Sozin did that," he corrected, adamant. "It was Sozin. Sozin ruined everything, and I don't know anything that happened, not truly. I don't know what happened back then because I was only a child, and I don't know the events of the Great War, for too many died to share the stories and experiences. And even the survivors will barely talk about it. I want to know Bumi and who he became, who he was while I slept. But every time I've ever asked him, he refuses to answer."
She laughed suddenly. "I can fulfill that longing for you."
He blinked in surprise. "Really?"
"Of course," she assured. "As children in the Fire Nation, nonetheless as heirs of Sozin, we were raised with the threat of King Bumi."
Aang felt something cold sweep through him. "What are you talking about?"
Azula tilted her head, something calm, almost even apologetic, in her eyes. "Before your return, King Bumi was regarded as our biggest threat."
His eyes widened. "What? Really?"
Her golden eyes were serious. "We were raised listening to the stories of his atrocities- "
"Atrocities?" Aang demanded, voice rising. "Bumi never did atrocities! That was- "
"Everyone part of the Great War," Azula interrupted, voice adamant. "War touches everyone, enforcing on you a mindset and perception of the Enemy, liberating you to pursue atrocities in your quest to destroy the Enemy. King Bumi was not exempt from such forces; he basked in those forces, in committing atrocities to sate his insatiable appetite."
Aang swallowed, remembering Bumi's confession at one of the Great Gatherings about the horrors of war and how he was part of it, how hateful he felt. "You're right. He told me a little, but I never wanted to believe it."
"According to something I heard my grandfather say, King Bumi was the biggest reason the Earth Kingdom endured our conquest efforts."
He felt afraid but asked the question: "Really?"
She nodded. "He was an animal, wild and fierce, more bloodthirsty than a dragon, more lustful than a whore; he spread his vices across all his victims of Fire. He would decapitate our soldiers and play a game where he would infuse each decapitated head with many small stones, allowing him to earthbend the heads at our soldiers as they attacked, terrifying them. I heard it said that he would specifically cripple our women soldiers so he could rape them and, when done, ripped out their entrails and forced them to eat- "
Aang squeezed his eyes shut, feeling The Avatar State lurking. "Stop. Just stop."
"Yes, I imagine that is what the women would say."
He felt the tears in his eyes, the sheer terror and horror assaulting him. Was it true? Was that what Bumi refused to tell him? "No, that's not it," he muttered, amazed at her seeming serenity, but when he glanced at her, her golden eyes were fierce. "That's not Bumi. Those are rumors spread by Fire to discredit him."
Azula raised a brow. "Such rumors failed to discredit him; they gave him such a reputation that even my grandfather was wary of facing him, particularly after the Incident."
Aang should have ignored the enticement, but he couldn't resist. "Incident?"
She smirked, apparently pleased he asked. "King Bumi almost managed to assassinate the Fire Lord."
He didn't feel as much horror as he should have; if anything, he regretted that Bumi failed. "Really?"
Azula nodded, smirk disappearing. "It was a few years after my grandfather ascended the Dragon's Throne after Sozin's death, and he sought to alleviate Fire's excessive mourning over Sozin's death- "
The table cracked, and Aang released it from grip, smiling tightly. "Go on."
"- by conquering Omashu and ending the threat of the infamous King Bumi. Grandfather pulled his forces together and led a massive assault against Omashu, trying to subjugate King Bumi, and King Bumi was in the battle himself, leading his men against our soldiers, decimating our ranks. Grandfather was enraged, and it resulted in Grandfather himself entering the battle, seeking out King Bumi, to give him the death he was owed." Azula sighed, something like fascinated wonder on her face, and Aang felt fascinated by such details; he yearned for more. "The clash was severe and vast. The poets at court say that never has such a meeting of Earth and Fire occurred in its full extremity as when Grandfather, the foremost champion of Fire, and King Bumi, the foremost champion of Earth, desolated the battlefield, and they say that Grandfather heard in the air all the voices of those King Bumi slaughtered unjustly, nearly avenging all their deaths when his lightning provoked King Bumi's retreat."
"That was the Incident?" he asked, doubtful.
"So many were dead from their clash, and they undoubtedly killed many of their own men from the extent of their power. Grandfather ordered a retreat to grieve for our men lost, dividing what remained of his massive army into two mere squadrons—all that remained after the colossal clash between Grandfather and King Bumi, and Omashu's forces were just as depleted. Grandfather accompanied one of the squadrons for a little distance before slipping away to the other."
"Why?"
Azula raised one shoulder in a shrug. "No one knows. But his instinct, refined by years of experience, averted catastrophe. Grandfather failed to realize in his retreat that King Bumi had only retreated to revive his attack. King Bumi had followed Grandfather from a distance, apparently with a few dozen of his elite Earthbenders, seeking to assassinate the Fire Lord. And he would have succeeded if Grandfather's instincts were not so refined. King Bumi failed to see Grandfather slip away to the other squadron and when Omashu's elite Earthbenders attacked the squadron in surprise, King Bumi waited for the perfect moment and prepared himself."
"What happened?" he asked, dread building inside him. "What did Bumi do?"
"He dropped a mountain on the squadron he thought included Grandfather."
Silence.
Aang tried not to imagine it, but he did; he saw Bumi, hateful as ever because of Air's slaughter, murder soldiers who only followed their Fire Lord, exerting himself to such an extent, motivated by hatred, that he was able to move a mountain with his will.
"It was likely only a small mountain," Azula continued, remarkably unaffected by the story. "You know how poets love to exaggerate. But Grandfather was enraged after the assassination attempt. However, after such a close call, he felt terribly concerned and ordered a full retreat from Omashu with his only squadron remaining, recognizing he could not hope to defeat King Bumi with so little an army remaining. Grandfather began calling King Bumi the Scourge of Fire after that event. The consequences of such a successful assassination would have been catastrophic for the Fire Nation," Azula revealed, voice drifting, significance on her face. "If Grandfather died then, Uncle was a little younger than Zuko now and would have likely killed himself in his bloodlust to avenge his father's death—probably killed by King Bumi himself. But Grandfather never returned to the Earth Kingdom after King Bumi's assassination attempt, letting Uncle take more control. He was so wary of King Bumi that he constructed his renowned Great Gates—to prevent an invasion commanded by King Bumi. Grandfather began focusing again on the Southern Water Tribe, terrified that King Bumi, a notorious philanderer, would secure himself an alliance by marrying the Chief of the South's sister, and it helped his judgment that the South's influence in the war was immense off the peninsula, aiding the Earth Kingdom and providing men and supplies to fight. Grandfather began his attacks against the South again, who held out a long time until they could no longer. Grandfather even journeyed to the South for the final defeat, killing their Chief himself, who was a cunning and powerful Waterbender."
Aang hadn't known that Hakoda's father was killed by the Fire Lord. "How long ago did that happen?"
Azula paused for a moment. "Grandfather killed the South's Chief when he was around eighty years old, but it was years in the making. It took over five years for Grandfather to vanquish the South once and for all, depleting them of their spirit, hope, and adaptability so they could never regain it—as they had previously when he conquered them decades earlier when he was still Crown Prince."
He nodded. "I asked because the current Chief of the South, Hakoda, never mentioned that the Fire Lord killed his father. And Katara and Sokka never mentioned it."
"It is likely painful, and he may not have been there during the fighting, only there in the aftermath when presented to Grandfather," she deduced. "And Grandfather likely did not kill Chief Hakoda because he was not a threat, a mere teenager."
"And a non-bender," he added. "But we know the damage that a teenager, even a non-bending one, can do in a war- "
Azula shook her head. "Grandfather was much more efficient and brilliant than my father. If you and your friends- "
"They're not my friends."
"Forgive me," she said honestly, genuine remorse appearing for a moment on her face. "If you and your allies had faced Grandfather, you would have been crushed. Well, your allies would have been crushed. You would have survived if you entered The Avatar State; you would have crushed Grandfather. To be blunt, my father squandered the war. You were always going to win because you possess the power of the world, but it would have been much more difficult against Grandfather."
Aang felt ashamed of his absurd appreciation for Azula's mother, who murdered Fire Lord Azulon. "Good point. Even Bumi couldn't defeat him."
"Precisely. But no royal women were left in the South for King Bumi to marry and create an alliance; the South was decimated. But King Bumi continued terrorizing and brutalizing our soldiers until a few years before your return. The poets say that, upon hearing of Grandfather's death, King Bumi wished to keel over and die but was unable to, provoking his madness as he stepped away from the battlefield, heartbroken upon the realization that he would never face a worthy foe again. It was the final sacrifice that Grandfather made for his race—dying so that King Bumi would cease his violations, sparing the Children of Fire from agony by King Bumi's hand."
He tried to control his hysteria but was unable to. "But that's not Bumi—it's not!"
"He killed countless Children of Fire, and he committed atrocities against us; he was the Scourge of Fire. How you feel about Sozin, there are still many to this day in the Fire Nation who feel similarly, although less intensely, about King Bumi. After Grandfather started focusing again on the Southern Water Tribe, who was much more active in the War than the North, Uncle wished to face King Bumi and kill him. However, Grandfather always refused to let Uncle challenge King Bumi, instead ordering him elsewhere, and Uncle was profoundly loyal and successful everywhere he went. When he reached Ba Sing Se so many years later, it was with the goal of cutting off King Bumi from the rest of the Earth Kingdom through subjugating Ba Sing Se, for Ba Sing Se's defeat was seen as more possible than Omashu's. Thus, he began his quest of starving Omashu by attacking Ba Sing Se- "
"By cutting off the supply lines," he finished. "Severing the trade connection, on which Omashu has always relied. Trade was the reason behind the creation of the mail chutes."
Azula looked impressed. "Indeed. But, of course, Uncle failed and became a disgrace for his failure. And King Bumi is still alive and well, reigning as king, reputation preserved as the Scourge of Fire in the eyes of Fire. When Omashu was conquered finally because King Bumi surrendered, Father elected not to execute him—from what he told me, he considered it more demoralizing and crippling to Earth's obstinacy in holding Earth's foremost champion under his thumb, keeping him alive, a direct message proclaiming Fire's supremacy because he and we did not fear King Bumi. In essence, we 'did not care' if King Bumi escaped because we considered him irrelevant to the war's efforts by that point. It was intended—weaponized—as a crushing blow to Earth's morale, and I dare say we succeeded in some ways. We proved before all of Earth that not even their greatest champion was worth our effort in killing him, for he was irrelevant—unimportant and insignificant. Sparing him from execution was a psychological attack against Earth."
Aang close his eyes and put his head in his hands, more used to the hair—and even more used to the anguish in his soul. He felt more exhausted and heavier than at any point since his vacation began.
"This isn't how I thought my life would go, nor the lives of those I knew and loved," he lamented, face twisting, voice soft but dark. "How do you imagine any of this befalling you? How do I imagine Bumi becoming the Scourge of Fire? How do I imagine any of it? How do I expect any of it? But looking back, it makes too much sense, and it's obvious that it was never going to go any other way. And I don't know what to do about that. I know the answer is acceptance, but nothing enables me to accept it—not yet. I don't want to accept; I don't want to accept that Bumi became the Scourge of Fire and maybe committed atrocities- "
"There is no maybe."
He sagged. "It's a wonder Sozin let Bumi go."
Her eyes widened. "Truly? King Bumi encountered Sozin and lived? He is even more powerful than I thought."
He shook his head, recalling Bumi's shame. "No. Sozin let him go to deliver a message."
"It was when King Bumi was young, then," Azula dismissed. "If Sozin knew of what King Bumi would become—the Scourge of Fire—he would have killed him and spared many Children of Fire from an agonizing demise."
Aang tried to process everything he was just told, heart rebelling over what his mind decreed only made sense. "It's hard to believe that Bumi became that. I knew him back then, before the Great War. He was eccentric and fun, nothing like the Scourge of Fire. And I was in the Fire Nation back then, and it was nice. Kuzon was fun, too- "
She leaned forward, golden eyes amazed. "Kuzon? You knew a Kuzon?"
He nodded. "Yes. He was my friend; we would get in trouble, too, just like with Bumi."
Azula nodded in return, comprehension on your face. "That makes more sense now why you chose such an alias. When you first arrived at the house, I was planning to kill you, but when you introduced yourself as Kuzon, I wanted to investigate, for the name 'Kuzon' was banned by Sozin; it is a name not heard in many decades, only known in the histories."
Aang felt the dread return. "What did Kuzon do?"
"A Kuzon tried to assassinate Sozin," Azula said. "Its success was as close as King Bumi's attempt against Grandfather decades later. Legend says that Kuzon took a chunk of flesh with him into death." She must have seen the nauseous look on his face, for she clarified: "But Kuzon was once a most popular name, particularly amongst the nobility, until Sozin banished it from memory. It is unlikely that the Kuzon to whom I refer is the Kuzon you knew."
He tried to nod, but he knew, deep down, the assassin was his friend.
There were many painful discoveries made during his vacation, but somehow, the discoveries weren't made worse by Azula's presence. If anything, her presence alleviated the agony; she asked insightful questions but did not press him. It was nice. She demanded nothing of him but respect and help when her mental balance was threatened—which happened less and less as time progressed until there were no minor incidents at all.
She seemed healed, but he knew there was more to be done.
"What was your childhood like?" she asked one day after dinner, sipping her tea; her golden eyes held something that he couldn't name.
"Better than my life now," he replied. "Air was alive and thriving- "
Azula shook her head. "That is not what I mean. How were you raised? Did you live in fear?"
Aang felt something cold inside at the implication of such a question but answered: "I was born in the Eastern Air Temple to a nun whose name I'll never know, sired by a father who will only be nameless—as Air's philosophy dictated. We didn't have parents, no father and mother, only a mentor, a master to oversee our progress toward Enlightenment, teaching us the art form of airbending."
"And Gyatso was your mentor, correct?"
He was sick of the grief in his heart, but he nodded. "Yes. He was the strongest Airbender and the wisest Elder. He taught me so many things, and he taught me more things that I didn't pay attention to. I wish he were here more than anyone."
Azula straightened her posture, a haughty brow rising. "Even more than a beautiful princess?"
Aang smiled. "He'd like you."
"I wish he were still here to meet," she replied graciously. "Perhaps when I am dead, I shall meet him in the Gardens of the Dead."
He only felt grief that he would never get such a rest, living another lifetime—and another and another forever. "Perhaps. He would have much to teach you."
"I believe I will learn enough from you," Azula dismissed. "But it was idyllic at the Air Temples?"
"Of course," he assured. "The Air Temples were wonderful to live in, brimming with life and wisdom. I would give almost anything to play airball again."
"Volleyball will have to suffice," she consoled quietly.
"I never lived in fear, to answer your second question," Aang continued. "I don't think I really knew what fear was until I left to visit the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, encountering things that were different. Maybe I didn't know what fear was until I learned I'm The Avatar."
Azula was quiet for several long moments, golden eyes dimming in somberness. "I was scared during my childhood; it felt almost like a companion. And eventually, I learned that fear was a good thing, for it was familiar, a comfort, something on which to rely. I did not have much, but I had my fear, and it assured me, reminded me of what it meant to fail, which meant pain. My fear saved my life."
Aang's felt his eyes tighten in compassion. "I'm sorry that was your life."
"I am sorry that this is your life because of my lineage," she replied honestly. "If you could return to your time, I know you would."
He nodded. "Things made sense then; things were more organic; things were more natural."
"Natural," Azula echoed, voice drifting. "I was called always a natural. And I feared the day I would lose that praise. As a child of royal blood, descended from Sozin's seed, expectations had to be met, and great demands were demanded of me. If I ever failed, I knew Father would beat me as he did Zuko. He preferred me over Zuko even though I am a girl because I am the second-born just as he is."
"That makes sense," he admitted, "in a sickening way."
"Uncle Iroh was the firstborn of Grandfather, beloved and praised, groomed to become Fire Lord from the moment of his birth; it was always expected that Uncle would succeed Grandfather just as Grandfather succeeded Sozin."
"Just as the Fire Nation has always worked since the Unification," Aang commented, knowing it to be true. "Ever since there has been a lone Fire Lord, only those of Agni's chosen ruler's blood can ascend to rule."
"It was Uncle's destiny to assume the mantle of Agni's chosen one. To believe otherwise was unthinkable and treasonous."
"But your father disagreed."
Azula smiled tightly. "Yes. How familiar are you with my lineage?"
"I'm familiar with the impact of your lineage," he replied, spacing his words. "But I know you and Zuko."
"To understand, you must know more about my family. My grandmother, Fire Lady Ilah, was younger than Grandfather by twenty years when they married." Something cold was in her eyes, and when she laughed, it was frigid. "It is ironic because there is also a twenty-year difference between Father's age and Uncle's age."
Aang leaned back in surprise. "I never knew the age difference was so profound."
"Yes. When Grandfather ascended the Dragon's Throne, Uncle was only seventeen. Sozin lived a long time."
"He never deserved to live in the first place," Aang muttered, unable to quell such a vicious thought, given life by his words.
"With the Great War, Grandfather feared for our lineage if he and/or Uncle were to die in the fighting. He laid often with Grandmother until Father was the result of their union, and Grandfather foresaw an opportunity—Father would be the blade in the dark to Uncle's grandiose light. As you know, every flame casts a shadow, and Uncle's flame was so vast- "
"That it created an even more vast shadow," he finished, remembering Ozai's dark power augmented by Sozin's Comet. "It's dark and disturbing, but who isn't of Sozin's line besides Iroh and- "
Azula laughed. "You lack a clear understanding of my uncle; you only knew him a fraction of his life, and he has lived a full life."
"I know he was the Dragon of the West, a famed general who laid siege to Ba Sing Se- "
"But do you know what that means?" she asked. "Do you know what it means to garner such a reputation?"
Aang remembered the rumors Azula shared of Bumi's actions during the Great War. "I think I'm beginning to."
Azula tried to smile, but it lacked its usual charm and vigor. "He was fearsome and prolific, a juggernaut who, for almost two decades, off and on, terrorized the Earth Kingdom, crushing rebellions and winning battles, overseeing our expansion of the Colonies. He was fierce as any Firebender, and I heard it said that his temper rivaled Grandfather's on the rare times it erupted. He was the perfect heir to Sozin's legacy, and he and Grandfather desired to end the Earth Kingdom's obstinance, seeking to kill King Bumi. If King Bumi died, the Earth Kingdom's morale would die with him. Thus, Grandfather and Uncle attacked Ba Sing Se, laying siege to it to disrupt Omashu's supply lines and eviscerate any allies from whom to choose. For six hundred days, he was unwavering in his pursuit of glory and managed to break through Ba Sing Se's outer wall, the first to accomplish such a feat. But my cousin died in the fighting. I do not know how he died, and nobody does except Uncle himself—and likely Grandfather, too, before his murder. All Uncle has ever said is that a father's pride killed Lu Ten."
He understood the guilt Iroh felt, for he was the same with his race. "Is he right?"
"Likely. But it was not until Lu Ten's death that Uncle 'changed'. He abandoned the siege when we were closer than ever before to conquering Ba Sing Se and possessing the critical advantage over King Bumi, and he was declared a milquetoast by the nobles, spineless by Father, and a fat fool by myself. Before Lu Ten's death, Uncle was different; he was crueler and feared throughout the other nations, including the Water Tribes against whom he fought bitterly for years in the Earth Kingdom; he even traveled to the South to help with the battles there in his younger, wilder days. He searched for years for the missing Avatar just as his forefathers had, and he once declared publicly that when he found The Avatar, he would gut him like a baby dragon, leaving him minimally alive so he would not be reborn."
Aang felt chills crawl up his spine at her words, nausea blossoming in his stomach. "I never knew."
Azula smiled, but there was something sad in it. "He differs much from his legend. He disappointed me when he returned after Lu Ten's death. I wanted him to raze Ba Sing Se to ash, and I called him weak because he did not. For a long time, I believed him to be weak and foolish, but now I do not know what to believe. I think it is more complex."
"As most things are," he said, recalling her words to him about the importance of recognizing and ruminating on complexity.
"Uncle was the legend against whom Father compared himself," Azula said after several moments. "There is a reason for that, and even though I was not alive to see it—or if I was, too young to recognize it—Uncle was renowned, closer to Sozin in blood than I am, making a difference in the Great War while Father remained in the Caldera, culminating in distance between them."
"And difference," Aang added softly.
She sighed. "When Father was born, Uncle had just begun his military career as Crown Prince. While Grandfather went to Omashu to kill King Bumi, Uncle was stationed in the Colonies, overseeing their development, and Uncle initially led the assault against the Southern Water Tribe because Grandfather wanted him nowhere near King Bumi. But Father rarely saw Uncle as he grew up. From what I have discerned, throughout his childhood, he strove to earn his father's love and brother's admiration but received neither despite his desperate attempts."
Aang's brows rose in surprise. "Really?
"Grandmother died during Father's birth," Azula responded, voice flat. "She died bringing him into this world, and both Grandfather and Uncle resented him for it, regretting his existence but never having the proaction to end his existence. And it did not help that Father lacked all skill with his firebending."
He felt flabbergasted. "What? That's a lie. Are you testing me?"
"No- "
"I faced him during Sozin's Comet! And I can safely say that very few Firebenders in the history of the world have reached your father's level of power. He rivaled Sozin and Azulon themselves if not surpassed them!"
Azula's face colored with amusement, and she laughed softly. "Father had to work for his power just like Zuko did; ironically, both father and son were late bloomers regarding their bending. Whereas I and Mother—and Uncle and Grandfather—were all prodigies, declared such by the Fire Sages. While Uncle's firebending was always praised by Grandfather, who commissioned poets to sing of Uncle's prowess, Father received nothing but scolding and indifference."
Aang found that he couldn't summon any sympathy for Ozai. "What of your grandmother? Was she a prodigy like your grandfather?"
"No one was a prodigy like Grandfather, but I know Grandmother was a powerful Firebender; she likely was prodigious, for Grandfather would have never loved her otherwise, but, again, she was not on Grandfather's level. But I cannot say for certain because Father killed her when he came into this world." Her golden eyes shone with sudden amusement. "Did you know that it runs in the family, the mother dying in childbirth?"
His brows furrowed. "I remember when I was a boy hearing stories—legends, I guess—from Kuzon about Sozin's grandfather having problems siring a healthy heir. Was that because his wife—or wives—died in childbirth?"
"Fire Lord Kazuki," Azula said knowingly. "But no. Grandmother died during childbirth as she brought Father to life; Uncle's wife died during childbirth, and apparently, her last words were naming Lu Ten 'Lu Ten'; and Mother herself nearly died giving birth to Zuko. But she had no complications with me," she added with more than a touch of pride. "I was always a prodigy—my easy birth foretold it."
Aang found that things were beginning to make more sense from the little snippets Zuko shared, but Zuko had never mentioned most of what Azula recalled, which wasn't surprising considering how sensitive Zuko was with his past; it had taken a very long time until Zuko told him about the source of his scar.
That was a really bad day.
"And was Iroh's birth easy- "
She blinked. "Why would I know that?"
"You seem to know everything about your family."
Azula nodded, looking slightly disgruntled. "I cannot say, but I can say that Uncle never cared for Father in his younger days. When he finally took an interest in Father and his family, it was too late; the path had been set."
"I'm sure Iroh regrets- "
"That is not helpful," she said flatly. "Uncle failed fundamentally for many years. Perhaps if he attained glory and managed to conquer Ba Sing Se, compromising King Bumi's daunting strength in Omashu, I would feel differently, but he failed. All the legends I heard as a child do not compare to the old fat fool I met. Do not mistake my speaking of him as fondness; it is only familial obligation and lack of a better title that you can comprehend that I refer to him as 'Uncle.'"
Aang sighed. "I'm sorry he failed you. If he hadn't, maybe things would have been different."
Azula was quiet for several moments, clearly ruminating on such a possibility. "I find it unlikely," she said at last. "Mother was the biggest factor, despite my disgust at admitting it. If she were not a failure, things would be different. Grandfather would still be alive- "
"No, he wouldn't be."
She looked at him in fascination, understanding his allusion. "You hate Sozin so much you would kill his son?"
"I think so," he admitted, ashamed but not ashamed enough to feel otherwise.
"But you spared Sozin's grandson."
"A weaker connection," Aang said immediately. "And Ozai never knew Sozin; Azulon knew his father for decades, and you told me he adored Sozin. Anyone who adores Sozin, despite knowing him intimately, deserves the fate of my race. It's different."
"Certainly," she agreed. "Although, if you killed my grandfather, we would be unable to live together like this, making a 'home' together on Ember Island, for I was most fond of him. You should thank my mother for assassinating him, that traitorous whore."
He sighed. "Believe it or not, I understand how it feels to be betrayed by your mother."
Her eyes narrowed. "When have you met my mother? She never attended the Great Gatherings."
Aang closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I understand how it feels to be betrayed by a mother."
Silence.
Azula considered him for a long time, longer than he was comfortable with before intrigue and disgust settled on her face. "The Water Tribes peasant-bitch?"
"Katara- "
"The Water Tribes peasant-bitch."
"Yes. She was, for lack of a better word because 'friend' isn't enough to explain the love and devotion I felt toward her, my mother, and she betrayed me; she abandoned me."
Something almost resembling awe crossed Azula's face. "You do understand."
"To a degree. I'm sorry your mother failed you."
"I am sorry yours failed you," she replied genuinely. "Normally, I would deride your compassion as weaponized compassion, but it feels and seems sincere."
Aang grinned. "Air Nomad."
Azula rolled her eyes. "You are not as humble as you claim."
"I am Kuruk reborn," Aang teased.
Her golden eyes gleamed. "My mother regaled me with his legend- "
"Infamous legend," he added.
"Indeed," she agreed. "He was so lethargic in his duties as Avatar that many internal and external wars broke out across the Four Nations."
Aang grinned again. "Not Air."
"Not Air," Azula repeated in correction. "It is said that every mortal alive is descended from him now—such was the prolific potency of his seed."
"Not those of Air," he said, feeling his grin expand. "Most of the Water Tribes and Fire Nation, I'm guessing, are descended from him. The Water Tribes adore Family, and Kuruk was part of their family, and he was very prolific in expanding the Water Tribe family."
Her eyes narrowed. "And the Fire Nation?"
"Fire adores Power," Aang said simply, raising a knowing brow. "Kuruk was the most powerful of his time just as we always are and would have had incredible adulation from Fire Nation women."
"Can you blame those women? But there is only one woman in the Fire royal bloodline who would have offered herself to him during his lifetime, and I am not descended from her," she said in what sounded like a lament. "I might have had the might of two Avatars in my blood if things were different, but I only have one."
Aang's brows rose; he wasn't aware she knew about Roku. "You know about Roku- "
"My mother's grandfather," she dismissed. "She told me, and Zuko did, as well. And it was not even a ploy by Grandfather to strengthen our lineage; it was mere happenstance. Somehow, Mother loved Father—truly and utterly. She still loves him."
His eyes widened. "Really?"
"She hates herself for it, but I know she does; she has never brought herself to visit him in his prison after her return—because she still loves him and cannot see him reduced so low, cannot face the truth of what he is."
"Did she love his power?" he asked, thinking of Fire's adoration for Power, and there were very few Firebenders ever to reach the heights of Ozai's power.
"No," she dismissed. "She loved him despite his power. She helped him reach his level of power. Without her, he would not have advanced so extraordinarily."
"I didn't know that."
"A woman of Fire," she observed with subtle mirth. Suddenly, she seemed to comprehend something and leaned back in surprise before something swept over her face; he couldn't discern what it was. "Have you received 'incredible adulation' from Fire Nation women?"
Aang sighed. "I've had offers—more from Fire Nation women than any women of the other nations, even though I've had a lot of offers from Earth Kingdom women and Water Tribe women."
Suddenly, something delighted, coy, daring, challenging, and significant crossed her face. "Well, if I were alive in Kuruk's time, I would have seduced Kuruk, enticed by the wonderous power of the world."
He had the fleeting thought of being jealous of his past life before shaking his head. "You'd hate Kuruk."
"Probably," she agreed. "Most everyone did—except his beloved, apparently."
Aang felt Kuruk's simmering fury in his soul, and he brushed it aside. "I've always wondered if he actually loved her or if he was only marrying her in his desperation to lay with her."
Azula considered it for several moments. "I think his reaction to her demise shows that he did love her. If he only wished to secure a sexual release through her, he would not have mourned so excessively and swiftly found himself another woman. But he hunted for the Face Stealer for the rest of his reign."
"It would have been better if he was only wanting the sex," he said after several moments. "The world wouldn't have continued to pay a steeper and steeper price."
"A steep price," she echoed after several moments. "Father paid so much attention to me, and my steep price was me being everything he wanted to be."
He frowned. "I don't understand."
A bitter amusement shone in her eyes. "Zuko reminded Father too much of himself—weak and slow. Whereas I, like Mother, was prodigious and swift in undertaking everything. He liked me more than Zuko because I was like Mother, whom he adored, but Mother is gentle and benevolent, balanced, whereas Father is not. Father groomed me to be like him, even though I was like him in very few ways. I will admit I have his ambition and calculation, but the rest is from Mother."
Aang closed his eyes in understanding. "And Zuko is his father reborn."
"In many ways, yes," she said. "He resembles him more and more as the years have passed—and not only physically but in his disposition. Zuko has Father's temper and bitterness, and he seemed, for a long time, cursed as Father was. Zuko strove for Father's love just as Father strove for Grandfather's love, but neither received it. Grandfather resented Father for killing Grandmother, and Father resented Zuko for being too much like him. Just like Father, Zuko failed the Academy."
"Academy?" he asked, knowing the name because Zuko once mentioned it but not understanding it. "What is that?"
"The elite school in the Fire Nation," Azula answered. "Zuko brought so much shame to Father for failing, but I brought him joy because I excelled. The Academy is where I met Mai and Ty Lee."
Aang observed her tight posture, the fury darkening her beautiful eyes, the fingers curled into small, tight fists. "We can talk about something else," he offered.
She glanced at him, eyes still dark, but something else was there; he couldn't discern its identity. "You told me much about your friends- "
"Not my friends."
"Allies," she corrected kindly. "Perhaps I should do the same. The Avatar is for balance, after all."
Aang refrained from pointing out that it was she who wanted balance in the situation, but he nodded. "If you want."
A sapphire flame sprung to life in her palm, and it danced across her fingers, almost swirling like a minuscule tornado at some points; it was beautiful. "I never had friends until them. They were my only friends until I met 'Kuzon' here on Ember Island—but you are much more interesting and fun."
"So are you."
"A princess is all things," Azula said proudly. "I only ever knew Zuko, Mother, Father, Uncle, Lu Ten, and Grandfather. But I met them, and they were so different from anything and anyone I knew. Mai was dreary and so boring, but I was fascinated by her since she was of one of the eminent noble houses. But she was emotionless while most other noble's children were loud and obnoxious, entitled brats. It was a refreshing change. Ty Lee was more difficult to tolerate; her exuberance was irksome—until it was not. I liked them; I do not know how, but I liked them. Somehow, I liked them and thought them friends. I thought I had their loyalty; I trusted them."
The flames in her hand erupted, and her breathing was ragged, a snarl on her face, golden eyes like slits—a deadly omen.
Aang stood to his feet. "Let's spar."
Her eyes were on the verge of madness. "No! You shall betray me like everyone! You seek my death! I am an heir of Sozin! You are going to kill me!"
He sighed and stared down at her furious face, feeling solemn. "If I ever wanted it, you would be dead, and there would be nothing you could do to prevent it. I don't want you dead, not at all. I find Life better with you in it; you are interesting and fun, remember? And I mean that. I swear on my honor as a Firebender that I mean it. Do you trust me, Azula?"
Azula's face was frozen in a haze of madness, and her wide eyes roamed his face randomly; she wet her lips, and her blue flames sputtered to their death. "I trust you, Aang."
Aang gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into the courtyard. "We're going to fight, and you are going to unleash everything you have. This is not a spar; you wish to kill. Discharge the rage that poisons your soul; let it flow out."
She looked distant, not fully there, and Aang shot a wave of flames at her. As expected, she roared to life, and the fight began.
Her flames were different from the other times they spared; never more did she resemble the girl of the Great War, and he watched as it happened, the fracturing of her repairing mind. Blue flames were everywhere, surging and roaring but at the same time sputtering and flickering. Aang defended himself from her ceaseless assault, throwing his own flames back at her. He intentionally started mimicking Ty Lee's movements based on his memories, leaping and soaring over her, and Azula shrieked in outrage; her flames severely increased in their depth and intensity.
There was no order to her attacks, only impulse and fury, and it was sloppy and undisciplined, but it was working—but not enough.
"Release it all, Azula," he called out, seeing the agony and hysteria on her sweat-drenched, panting face. "Let it out. Stop holding onto it. Let go."
A piercing, ragged shriek erupted out of her, along with a massive wave of sapphire flames, almost the size of flames augmented by Sozin's Comet, thrashing in all directions—and would have consumed everything if Aang didn't stop them, which was a difficult endeavor he barely managed.
Silence—filled only by bitter weeping.
Aang approached her trembling, kneeling form and sat beside her, knowing only presence was enough, not words. They sat together for a long time, neither saying anything, and Aang almost saw himself back at the Southern Temple. But where once Roku or Yangchen sat, Azula sat—and Aang was providing his presence as support, not the other way around.
Her anger had simmered for years, boiling underneath her psyche, providing an unstable foundation, taking up so much of her mental energy as the rage aggressively and violently grew. Her mind broke because of the expectation of perfection and losing everything that she realized truly mattered. The Dragon's Throne was not what Azula wanted; she wanted peace and connection, a home in which she could be free and be who she was rather than the Fire Princess, a weapon wielded by her father against her own brother. She finally achieved release; it would take more time, but a big step was taken, particularly since she was outside of her cell, back in the 'real world' where she had autonomy and could choose to achieve release, even if Aang suggested it.
He wished he could have release like Azula had just achieved. But Aang knew if he released his rage, he could destroy the world—or at the least, create permanent damage that ended so many lives.
"Why did they do it?" she whispered eventually, voice raw, cracking with despair. "Why? Why?"
"I don't know," he answered sadly.
Azula seemed to huddle in on herself. "I feel lost."
Aang slowly, so she could stop him if she wished, reached out and grabbed her shaking hand, holding it in his own. "Loss is something you never lose," he murmured, remembering Gyatso's wisdom. "But it teaches. Maybe it reveals who you are more than anything else. Loss can liberate you to pursue your own path, to hold no ties to anyone or anything, beholden to no one but yourself and Life. That is why my race was nomadic; they were free."
She wiped away her tears bitterly; she looked exhausted. "Are you free, Aang?"
"I'm free here with you," he replied softly. "I'm always going to be The Avatar stuck in this damned, evil time, so I'll never have peace because the world doesn't have peace. But you can be. You can go away; you can go wherever you wish; you can start over and find what you have always yearned for; you can be who you want to be; you can find a home, a real home where you can start over, where people don't know your name and can't judge you on a reputation that's outdated; you can leave, Azula."
Azula looked at him, golden eyes, which were red-rimmed and raw, roaming his face. "You would let me do that?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"More than half the Earth Kingdom wants my head."
Aang remembered Kuei's conflict with Zuko; he heard rumors about it in town, but nothing substantial had happened thus far, giving him hope. "That shouldn't stop you if you want to leave."
"I am a war criminal; I am a monster."
"We're all monsters," he whispered, catching her widening eyes. "We all can be; some never are, and I envy them. But you have the chance for something more; you can find peace."
Azula stared at him, something on her face that was unreadable. "You would let me go?"
"I want you to have peace," Aang answered. "Whatever that is, I want it for you, and I hope you obtain it. Ultimately, what I think doesn't matter; what I feel doesn't matter. All that matters is you. It's not about me; it's about you. I'm going to support you and accept you, no matter what. That is what it means to love; that is what it means to be a friend; that is what it means to have a home."
She looked struck before her eyes narrowed. "What if I go into town and inflict carnage, killing anyone I can find? Would you support and accept me?"
"Of course not. Because then it's no longer about you; it's about them- "
"But it would be my impulse and desire to do such a thing- "
"I'm going to support you and accept you when it comes to you and what you choose to do with yourself with your life, but when it negatively involves or impacts the lives of other people, I won't support or accept it. Someone's life is someone's life, including yours."
"Would you come with me?"
Something heavy settled in his chest. "If I was just an Airbender, I would. We would live as nomads, going where the winds take us, but I can't do it. This vacation has gone longer than I anticipated, and I think I've stretched the duties of The Avatar by being a bodyguard."
She hesitantly leaned against him, head reclined against his shoulder, arm touching his own arm, and he made no effort to move; he enjoyed the contact. "I cannot do it, either," she whispered. "I cannot leave. It is a nice thought, but I need to retain the life of who I was; I cannot cast that aside. And my regret will always haunt me if I leave. It feels craven. How can I have the chance for something more without confronting what was? How can I be me if I do not push myself through challenges and hardships? Those things shaped me, and I think they should continue to shape me. I would not be me if not for Father, and I am only still alive because of the teachings he instilled in me. I need peace, but I doubt starting over in such a way is peace. What does peace mean?"
"Serenity," he said immediately. "An instinctual acceptance of What Is."
"Maybe the only way to peace is to accept that you shall never have peace," Azula considered, voice thoughtful. "An instinctual acceptance, as you said. By starting over in such a way, I deprive myself of any possibility of peace, for I would be rejecting what I am and what I was, for what I was is who I am—for what I was brought me here, to this moment, to be who I am."
Aang felt a smile stretch over his face. "You sound like one of the nuns."
Azula smirked up at him. "I am adaptable. But I would hate being a nun."
"Why?"
Her eyes snared his. "Sex."
He felt his pulse quicken at the look in her eyes and how close she was, and he felt the impulse to straighten his posture, but he didn't. "My mother, whoever she was, was a nun. She had sex."
"But only once?" she questioned, doubtful; she truly looked curious.
Aang sighed, a huff of disbelieving laughter escaping him. "How would I know? I never knew her, and I was raised with monks and the other boys. I only met Sister Lio for a few days when I bonded with Appa, and that was it."
Azula hummed and was quiet for several moments. "Thank you."
"What for?"
She looked vulnerable. "I feel that something has begun to re-align—if that is the correct word. And thank you for sitting with me; you are comfortable."
"You're welcome, and so are you," he replied before tensing. "As in, it's comfortable to have the weight of your head on my shoulder and your arm against my arm."
Azula laughed slightly. "And there is the evidence that you knew no girls as a boy."
Aang rolled his eyes. "I'm going to regret sharing that with you."
"Do you regret my decision to stay?" she asked lightly, but her eyes were intense.
"The only reason I'm still on my vacation is that I enjoy living here with you," he answered. "If you left, I would return to my duties and try to figure out where this new war between Zuko and Kuei stands. No, I don't regret your decision to stay. But I do regret that I'll have to leave sooner than later."
Azula only nodded. "This has been a profound vacation."
"And it still is," Aang promised.
But the realization that his vacation was nearing its end reminded Aang of the reason he came to Ember Island in the first place—to discover the secrets of the ancient airbending scroll that detailed true flight. He had forgotten about it during his time with Azula, putting it in the back of his mind because he found her so enjoyable, but he needed to discover the mystery and master such an ability, bringing him more intimacy with Air as a way to soothe his battered soul.
Aang opened his eyes and saw an Airbender sitting across from him, a face he recognized from the time Yangchen summoned all the Air Avatars years ago at the Southern Air Temple, but he was the antithesis of Yangchen, full of life and smiling at him.
"Avatar Aang," he greeted.
"Avatar Anil," he greeted in return, nodding his head. "I spoke with Avatar Boruk, who said you would be knowledgeable about my matter."
"Which is?"
He held up the ancient scroll. "True flight."
His predecessor from thousands of years ago looked at it blankly. "And what scroll is that? It's beautiful, but I've never seen it before. And what is true flight? Is it like it sounds?"
Aang felt taken aback, for he had been certain Anil knew. "Yes, it's how it sounds, and the scroll contains the details on true flight. If I master it, I'll never need a glider again."
"I never knew such an ability existed," Anil whispered, face astounded.
"You weren't the one to master the ability," Aang concluded in frustration. "But I was certain it was you. Avatar Boruk mentioned that Avatar Keska, your successor, killed a nameless Airbender who unlocked the secret of weightlessness, untethering himself from the earth. And Avatar Boruk himself heard legends of the ability, so I assumed that the nameless Airbender would have heard of the legends in Avatar Keska's time because of your reign as Avatar; I thought, maybe, legends of your mastery of such an ability spread like fire itself."
Something envious was on Anil's face. "No. I wish I knew the ability. To be weightless—what a marvel."
Aang sighed. "I'm trying to find which one of us mastered the ability. I thought you did, but you didn't. Do you know who did?"
"I'm sorry to be of no help to you, Avatar Aang," Anil replied, face cast in sadness. "I wish I could, but you must ask another."
"How far back should I go?" he demanded incredulously. "I've already gone back eight Avatars, two full Avatar Cycles, which is two-thousand years!"
Anil nodded slowly, eyes narrowing in rumination. "There is something dark at the root of this problem. You must descend farther down the Avatar Cycle—it is the only solution. I wish you fortune, my friend."
He dispersed and rushed back into Aang's body.
Aang sighed and wearily rubbed his forehead, knowing that something was 'off' with the entire situation, but not knowing what it was; he needed to solve it! With determination gnawing at his heart, he closed his eyes and looked deep into his soul, and just as he was about to call forth one of his predecessors, he was interrupted by Azula, who walked in.
"Talking to yourself again?" she asked.
He opened his lids only to roll his eyes at her smirking face. "We've talked about this."
"Yes, yes," Azula dismissed, waving a hand. "Each past life is you, but you are not each of them—not even my intelligence comprehends it. Are you finally asking Kuruk if he loved his beloved?"
"We both know he did," he replied. "You and I already discussed it. And no, I have a different problem."
She sat across from him, curious. "What is it? The war with Spineless Kuei?"
"I've traveled back two thousand years, and no one has been really able to help me, only giving me more questions! I'm nowhere!"
Azula looked awed by the fact he had 'traveled back' two-thousand years, but she kept her composure. "What is the problem?"
Instead of answering verbally, Aang abruptly tossed her the scroll, and she effortlessly caught it, eyebrows raised. She unfurled the parchment, the crinkling sound echoing, and read the contents. After several moments, her eyes widened slightly with surprise, and she looked at him, excitement almost shining in her golden eyes.
"Why do you not walk on the winds?" she demanded, incredulous. "You have the knowledge- "
"Knowledge is only useful when it's applied," he interrupted. "And I don't know how to apply it! I don't even know what misconceptions it's talking about!"
Azula looked back at the scroll. "How long have you had this?"
He sighed. "I found it at the Southern Air Temple before I came here; it was actually what provoked me to take my vacation. I'd never heard of this ability before, and any of the Avatars I've summoned have either only heard myths or not heard of the ability at all."
Her face twisted. "Is this how you floated under Ba Sing Se?"
"I'm certain it is."
"One of your past lives mastered the ability," she concluded, enlightenment on her face. "That is the problem. You want to master it, but there is no teacher."
"Yes."
Something eager shone in her eyes. "Summon another Avatar."
Aang hesitated. "I don't know."
Azula scoffed. "I am not going to kill you while you are vulnerable. And if I attacked one of your past lives, it would have no effect."
"That's not it," he assured. "It's- "
"You have asked me to trust you," she said, voice soft. "And I do trust you. Will you trust me?"
Letting her speak with one of his past lives felt more intimate than anything he had ever experienced, and he was unsure. "You want to help me?"
"Of course," Azula replied, almost offended. "I am intrigued, and this is most interesting. And to speak with someone—a version of you—who lived and breathed eons ago is miraculous. It may be the most memorable event of my life thus far."
Aang stared at her, seeing her seriousness, and nodded. "Sit beside me."
Azula shuffled over and sat next to him. "Anything else?"
"Prepare yourself," he said, for lack of anything else to say.
"Prepared."
Aang breathed deeply after smiling at her briefly and closed his eyes, delving deep into his soul, focusing intently and unwaveringly. He passed Anil's presence and looked farther, already having decided to travel to four Avatar Cycles before Anil was born, to speak with the Air Nomad Avatar from around eight thousand years ago. If that didn't work, he would travel back up until he found The Avatar who mastered true flight.
His brows furrowed in concentration, and he intensified his effort, journeying deeper and deeper. He surpassed over a dozen Avatars, feeling the passion of Fire, the Earth's resiliency, and the Water's adaptability. He hesitated as he hovered over the Water Avatar, a feeling fluttering through his mind. He had decided to speak with the Air Avatar, but a strange sensation prickled his awareness.
He needed to speak with the Water Avatar.
Honoring his instincts, he summoned his past life and opened his eyes.
Azula inhaled sharply beside him as the cloud floated out of him, swirling intimately until a man became visible. His eyes were blue as water, and a scruffy beard descended his neck; he looked like every Water Tribesman Aang had ever seen, but there was something different in his bearing, something Aang recognized.
The might of The Avatar, something only he and those that were him would ever recognize.
"Avatar Aang," his past life greeted him with an old smile. "It has been many millennia since I have been summoned. To you, I extend my gratitude. It is pleasure to speak once more. I am Avatar Kirku."
Aang glanced at Azula, whose eyes were wide; she was speechless.
"It is a pleasure to hear your voice, Avatar Kirku."
Azula swiftly bowed, almost prostrating herself; her eyes were fascinated when she looked up. "Indeed, it is a pleasure, Avatar Kirku. I am Azula- "
"A Child of Fire," Kirku finished with amusement. "You are a Firebender. I—or we—can feel the strength of your chi."
"It is very strong," Aang confirmed when she glanced at him for verification. "All powerful benders have great chi force. I—or we—can sense it."
Azula looked back at Kirku, and she seemed delighted. "It is an honor to speak with one of Aang's past lives."
Kirku chuckled. "It is an honor to speak with one of my successors' wives."
Aang's eyes widened, and he didn't look at Azula. "She's not my wife."
"An assumption made by one long-dead," Kirku dismissed.
"I was going to speak with your predecessor, an Air Avatar, but something told me I should speak with you. Why?"
Kirku smiled, amusement flashing through his water-colored eyes. "Because I can and will help you. I know the truth that you so desperately seek, along with the answers to the questions you haven't conceived."
He sagged in relief. "You were the one who mastered true flight."
"The only one," Kirku replied. "I am unsurprised to be the only Avatar, for it is such an intensive ability, and we Avatars are often too arrogant to brush aside our misconceptions. And very few Children of Air have ever mastered the ability."
Aang shook his head in wonder. "How does the knowledge of such an ability get lost?" He gestured to Azula, who continued staring at Kirku, mesmerized. "That's like Firebenders losing the knowledge of lightning."
Azula glanced at him, startled. "Rare and magnificent abilities are always at risk of being lost, for so few are competent and skilled enough to master them and pass that knowledge on. I have heard of a mere four Firebenders outside of my lineage, throughout known history, who mastered lightning."
"Does that include me?" Aang teased.
"No."
Kirku inclined his head. "I commend you, Avatar Aang. Mastering as many bending forms as possible is always prudent, for if you die early, the knowledge will forever live on your successors just as my mastery of true flight lived on you, though you never realized it."
"How did you master true flight?" Azula asked, voice curious.
His past life's eyes became intent. "To understand what I will reveal to you, you must first know the history of The Avatar; you must know the true, secret history that has been concealed because of my failure."
Aang's eyes widened. "Failure?"
Kirku smiled without mirth. "Did you really think you are the only Avatar to fail?"
He frowned. "No, I didn't, but it surprises me that something so monumental as the 'true, secret history' of The Avatar has been hidden because of your failure."
"The Avatar is a myth to most mortals, benders and non-benders," Kirku replied. "The Avatar is incomprehensible, but mortals tried to make us comprehensible and created a myth to circumvent our origin."
"So, there was a void," Azula cut in, intrigued. "The Avatar once never existed."
"Yes."
Aang leaned back, trying to comprehend something impossible. "What happened?"
"You must know the truth of who we are," Kirku observed.
His brows furrowed. "That's not what I asked. I know who we are. I'm The Avatar, the Elemental Master, the Balance-Keeper, the incarnated World Spirit."
"A god masquerading as a man," Azula added.
Kirku looked regretful. "What I am going to reveal will shock you and upset your perception. You will never be the same."
At the ominous words, Aang glanced at Azula, who made no effort to leave; if anything, she looked even more eager. "Are you sure you want- "
She glanced at him, clearly irritated that he was interrupting the pursuit of discovery. "Of course."
"Do you trust Azula, Avatar Aang?" Kirku asked, eyes never more serious. "These are ancient secrets preserved in our soul, which have been lost. You must rediscover them, and it gladdens me to share them with you; it is necessary I share them. I cannot tell the reigning Avatar what to do, but I advise you only to reveal these secrets to those you trust implicitly. If you do not trust Azula, even minimally, banish her from this sanctity."
"Banish?" Azula echoed, frowning, golden eyes displeased. "I am not my brother. I will never accept banishment- "
"You would not have a choice if that is Avatar Aang's wish," Kirku interrupted, voice stern and powerful. "Do you trust her?"
She whirled on him. "Do you?"
Aang blinked and realized Azula was probably the only person in the world, besides Zuko, who he trusted enough to sit in on such a conversation. "She can know," he assured. "I trust her—you should, too."
Kirku smiled, all severity gone. "I will always trust those whom my successors trust."
Azula's pinched features faded into her clear eagerness. "And what are these hidden secrets of The Avatar?"
"You said you are the incarnated World Spirit, Avatar Aang," Kirku began, voice apologetic, "but that is false."
"No, it's not," he denied automatically, almost laughing at such an absurd, unthinkable notion. "The World Spirit took on a mortal form to- "
"Propaganda."
"What?"
Azula's eyes gleamed. "Do tell."
Kirku sighed. "My death was unfortunate. My successor was raised by sages who wished to control The Avatar, and in some areas, these sages succeeded. They persuaded her to be only of Earth and to hold Earth in her thoughts above the other nations, and the persuasion was done by creating the legend of the World Spirit taking on a mortal form—The Avatar. The name 'World Spirit' implies that the Earth Spirit is actually The Avatar, meaning that The Avatar shall serve only Earth. I tried to tell my successor the truth, but she was obstinate, and it was the last time I was ever summoned. She eventually started looking at the other nations and saw past the lie that The Avatar shall serve only Earth, but she never saw past the World Spirit deception. Unfortunately, that falsified title has only grown in popularity while the truth was lost to the ages—until now."
Aang felt speechless for several moments, baffled. "Is everything a lie? What makes sense now?"
"I find it unlikely that your successor was so easily fooled considering she was The Avatar," Azula added, face scrutinizing. "She should have looked deeper and contacted you; she should have trusted you more than any sage."
Kirku smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, it is the truth. She was raised by the sages who corrupted her to suit their own foul and selfish whims and purposes. She trusted them when she should not have. When she realized the truth of their natures, she did not think to turn to me for advice. She looked elsewhere."
"None of this makes sense," he said, spacing his words. "Sages raising The Avatar? That's impossible; it's unthinkable!"
"You both must understand—the Four Nations used to be different. Time is a river; it is never stagnant, and it never can be. During my reign, the Children of Fire fought each other constantly; war sang in their blood and whispered in their ears, miring them in an internal struggle that would take many centuries if not several millennia to solve."
Azula nodded, realization on her face. "The Unification. There was no Fire Lord, only warring clans."
"And the Children of Water did not move to the North until the twilight of my life. The Children of Air were just beginning their process of seclusion and enlightenment while the Earth Kingdom started to become more assertive and stubborn in their beliefs, reaching for a mythical history—that later spawned the idea of the World Spirit—that would give them a sense of purpose and identity."
"I know the Four Nations evolve over time," Aang responded, "but with such evolution, there is always de-evolution, a loss of what was, and what was is not better than what is. Is that how true flight was lost? My race migrated to the Air Temples, and the knowledge was lost- "
Kirku shook his head. "No. That is not important right now- "
"Not important?" he cried out in disbelief. "It's why I summoned you!"
"It is not as important as understanding the ancient secrets so you can prepare for the threat that will come!"
Aang tensed. "What threat? Who do I need to prepare for?"
"Even if I told the name, you would not understand the significance—because you only know falsehoods."
"What more do you need to share with us?" Azula cut in swiftly, glaring at him briefly, and Aang was astonished by her audacity! She was only able to participate in the 'sharing' because he was letting her! "You are an Earthbender—it would behoove you to be candid."
Kirku smiled. "You are quite the Earthbender yourself."
"That is an offense for which I would shoot you with lightning if it were possible."
His past life laughed. "Threatening an Avatar, even a dead one, is a folly few would commit."
"Dismissing my capability is a folly few would commit," Azula retorted.
Kirku glanced at Aang. "Are you sure she is not your wife?"
Azula smirked. "I did say I would seduce Avatar Kuruk if given the opportunity, but that was only a hypothetical."
"What's not a hypothetical is true flight," Aang cut in. "What else do you need to tell me before you can teach me, Avatar Kirku?"
"What do you know about the first Avatar?" Kirku asked.
"Nothing, not even a name," Aang answered, surprised by the question. "I never saw a reason to journey that deep into the Avatar Cycle. I always assumed there was never a first Avatar; I thought The Avatar had existed since the Beginning. But I know I was wrong."
Kirku looked sad but also unsurprised. "Wan was his name; he was the First. All Balance-Keepers are his spiritual heirs; he is each of us, laying the foundations for our very existence. If you wish to understand his ascension, you must know the reasoning behind it."
"Ascension?" Azula asked sharply. "We call the Fire Lord's donning of his mantle his ascension to the power and prestige of the Dragon's Throne. Are you implying that Avatar Wan was mortal before he ascended and became the immortal Avatar?"
Aang watched Kirku nod. "Yes. Wan was a trickster, rebellious and audacious; he dared challenge when others would submit."
Azula glanced at him with a mischievous smirk. "No wonder I admire you since you are Wan reborn."
He rolled his eyes. "So, he challenged the order and was rewarded for it?"
Kirku chuckled. "No. His tricks provoked the ire of those around him, specifically those with great social power. Wan was exiled from his home and condemned to the Wilds."
"Which is?"
"The areas outside of Civilization. He was banished to the forces of Nature, including spirits."
"How is that possible?"
"In Wan's time, the two Realms were considered one."
Aang's eyes widened, and the gasp that escaped him almost made him cough. "What? That's impossible! There are two Realms—the Immortal and Mortal!" He glanced at Azula, who looked thoughtful. "Those are other names- "
"The true names," Kirku corrected.
"- for the Spirit World and Material World."
Azula waved such details aside. "How is it possible that the two Realms were one? There would be no Four Nations, as you said, if both Realms were converged."
Kirku held up a hand. "You misunderstand. There have always been two Realms, and there always will be. But in Wan's time, the Realms were more connected, making them seem like one."
"They are already connected- "
"Yes, but because there was no mediation, there was more connection. Things must be in their place. But on the Solstices, the spirits would flood into the Mortal Realm, terrifying humans, many of whom died when they tried to attack the spirits in their fear and aggression. Humans would progress between the times of the Solstices, but upon every Solstice, they would regress, for knowledge was forgotten because so many died during each Solstice."
"And there was no Avatar to go into the Spirit World to keep the balance," Aang whispered before glancing at Azula. "Only The Avatar- "
"Only The Avatar can freely enter and leave the Spirit World," she recited. "Yes, I know. We are always taught that only The Avatar possesses such power- "
"An overreliance on an education that only theorizes produces the mass confusion and ignorance that exists now," Kirku interrupted. "So much has been lost because people, including each incarnation of The Avatar, forgot to go to the source. There is so much more to the story. Yes, only The Avatar can freely visit the Spirit World, but it was not always so. There once existed sages who, upon intense meditation, entered the Spirit World, even when not on the Solstices, trying to do the job that would later become The Avatar's, but they failed always."
"There are stories of my uncle journeying into the Spirit World," Azula mused. "I never considered them true."
Aang nodded. "They're true. Iroh is spiritual."
"He is now," she corrected before looking back at Kirku. "Did these sages always try to do what would become The Avatar's job?"
Kirku sighed. "And failed always. In many ways, I suspect they made things worse. Their mortal presences in the Immortal Realm—a transgression of the Laws of Balance, for they were outside the Gardens of the Dead, interfering with things beyond their comprehension—angered the spirits, who sought retribution on the Solstices and succeeded."
"Quite mortal-like," Azula observed in amusement, lips curling slightly.
"I have often thought that the mortal presence of these sages corrupted the immortality of many of the spirits, causing them to act more mortal-like," Kirku theorized.
"And Wan stopped the spirits?" Aang asked. "That's the only thing that makes sense- "
"You forget the existence of the spirits," Kirku interrupted before Aang could. "Spirits are powerful and complex, and only the most powerful of benders could defend against spirits. Wan was exiled to the Wilds, where, on the Solstices, the spirits flooded before attacking the humans who took refuge on the backs of the Lion Turtles; the Wilds was not a place anyone went willingly. However, Wan was daring and bold; he felt curious about the Spirit World and, with zeal, tried to enter it. But he failed for a long time. But the world still retained its imbalance because of Raava and Vaatu's separation."
There was an inherent recognition upon hearing those names, but Aang had no idea who they were; he knew he should know them. "Raava and Vaatu?"
"The mighty spirits of Light and Darkness."
"Quite generic," Azula observed with small amusement.
"Do not mock," Kirku warned. "They created the Mortal Realm, shaping its very foundation."
Aang felt like he knew this information already, awakening from a slumber of ignorance. "They're the most powerful of the spirits," he whispered. "The primordial, cosmic forces of Light and Darkness."
Kirku smiled. "They are supposed to be eternally merged in harmony with one another, physical bodies tethered to each other. With their combined power, they created the Mortal Realm and the Lion Turtles, who created humans, and Koh gave humans their faces."
He inhaled sharply. "Koh gave humans their faces? But why does he steal the very faces he gifted them? Did humans do something to anger him?"
Kirku's eyebrows furrowed. "I do not know why Koh steals their faces. That is something you must ask him. For a spirit as powerful as Koh to take offense by anything mortals do makes no sense. To the Great Spirits, mortals, while beautiful and loving, are arrogant and petty with delusions of self-grandeur. Koh is far too powerful to listen to mortals' words."
Aang nodded in agreement. "And it doesn't explain why he stole Ummi's face."
Immediately, he felt the burning vengeance in his soul as Kuruk stirred, and within moments, Kirku's ethereal form flickered like a dying candle. Aang's eyes widened as he realized that Kuruk was attempting to appear in Kirku's place, but he swiftly put a stop to that, sending Kuruk back into the fathomless abyss in his soul.
Azula's eyes were amazed. "What was that?"
"Thank you, Avatar Aang," Kirku said, water-colored eyes surprised. "I was unable to fend him off; he is powerful, and the rage in him burns brighter than Agni himself."
"Avatar Kuruk?" Azula asked in confirmation.
"Yes," Aang confirmed.
"I would be fascinated to meet Avatar Kuruk," she said after several moments. "He had such an impact on the world."
"Every Avatar has a fundamental impact on the world—and many do not realize how deep The Avatar's impact is," Kirku said.
"And Ko- "
"Don't say his name!" Aang interrupted. "Never say a spirit's name unless you trust the spirit has your best intentions in mind."
Azula narrowed her eyes. "You say the names- "
"I'm The Avatar. I can say the names with no ill effects."
"A powerful inheritance," she commented idly. "But the Face Stealer is one of the Great Spirits. Are Ra- … the mighty spirits of Light and Darkness the Great Spirits, too?"
"Raava and Vaatu are the parents of the Great Spirits," Kirku replied. "The Face Stealer, Wan Shi Tong, and the Elementals are the Great Spirits."
Aang nodded. "What of The Avatar? What happened with Wan?"
"Because Wan was born a powerful Firebender who learned from the dragons- "
Azula's eyes gleamed with delight. "Fire is superior."
Aang rolled his eyes. "It only makes sense that a Firebender would ascend to The Avatar, for Fire pursues Power, and- "
"What is more powerful than The Avatar?" she finished, smirking. "And it says a lot that Wan was exiled. Most Firebenders are, by nature, temperamental and aggressive. But if he was so aggressive that other Firebenders exiled him, he was the boldest and most aggressive of his era."
"To ascend to The Avatar, I imagine you have to be," Aang murmured, knowing it to be true.
"Ironically, Fire is responsible for its own failure to win the Great War since The Avatar, in his first life, was a Firebender."
Kirku shook his head. "The Four Races have not always been the way they are in your time. They were impossibly different in Wan's time. The Races lived on the backs of the Lion Turtles, terrified of the spirits; the Lion Turtles were a refuge, the beginning of civilization against the natural spiritual forces that humans failed to understand, refusing to open themselves to something more. The Children of Water lived on their Lion Turtle; the Children of Earth lived on their Lion Turtle; the Children of Fire lived on their Lion Turtle; and the Children of Air lived on their Lion Turtle. But Raava and Vaatu were separated somehow, a sign of the imbalance plaguing the world due to the spirits invading the Mortal Realm on the Solstices."
"How were they separated?" Aang asked.
"The theory of myself and all my predecessors—because Raava never disclosed the reason—is that the formation of the Mortal Realm, including the creation of the Elementals, is what separated them, which produced lasting imbalance in the world as both were untethered, not in harmony."
Azula's eyes narrowed. "And Wan became The Avatar to restore the balance?"
"Yes. Wan was in awe of the Immortal Realm and the Power it represented. He meditated intensively for weeks until he reached the Immortal Realm. He pursued Power as a true Child of Fire and found Raava. He convinced her that he could restore the balance but only if she bonded with him forever."
Aang frowned, knowing that wasn't it. "But that's not how The Avatar came to be."
Kirku smiled. "Raava dismissed his offer and pursued Vaatu herself, but Wan proved his devotion to the task by following her, even though it caused his physical body to suffer. At first, he sought the power, but as time advanced, and he learned more, he wanted freedom not only for himself but all humans, who were confined to the backs of the Lion Turtles because of their fear and desire for safety. Then he wanted change, to start something new, a new world where more civilization is possible. Then he became stubborn in his new beliefs, his conviction to restore balance."
"He learned to be all the elements," he realized.
"And when Raava saw his genuine need to help, she helped him acquire the other elements by crossing into the Mortal Realm on the Solstice. They traveled to the other Lion Turtles, on whom the other Children of the Elementals lived. When Wan encountered the Children of Air, Raava merged briefly with him, allowing him more access to the divine energies—the very elements propagated by the Elementals—of the Mortal Realm. Wan mastered the Children of Air's ways and forms by the same Sky Bison that taught them. When he was done, he traveled to the Children of Water's Lion Turtle and mastered their ways with Raava's help. Then he did the same with the Children of Earth. And each stage of his progression correlated with a furthered enlightened understanding, showing him to be more worthy and worthy of Raava."
"Incredible," Azula commended, impressed. "So, I could become an Avatar- "
"No," Aang answered, understanding what she meant but also the answer. "Only Raava and Vaatu could create an Avatar as you conceive The Avatar. We are born with divine energies, all of us, but in benders, whose chi pathways are immense and unobstructed, those divine energies manifest themselves as the elements—Water, Earth, Fire, Air. But the chi pathways, and the chi itself, whether unobstructed or obstructed, are an inheritance passed through your lineage, which is touched by one of the Elementals."
"The strongest Firebenders in the world are usually of my lineage," Azula said in consideration. "We are blessed by Agni. I always thought it was symbolic language- "
"It's literal," he assured. "Agni blessed your line with incredible chi pathways, which have been passed on and refined—and increased—throughout the generations and the marrying of other similarly blessed Children of Fire. But your race did not learn firebending from Agni; you learned by watching the dragons—also Children of Fire."
"And you can know all the elements because- "
"I am born an Airbender, but because I'm The Avatar, which is possible because of the Ascension, which was only possible because of Raava's sacrifice, my body is open—maybe vulnerable is the right word—to the other energies, allowing me to master each element."
"Why can I not make myself more vulnerable to- "
"In any other human," Kirku interrupted, "the presence of two or more elements is impossible. You would be consumed by the power, destroying your soul, obliterating you from existence itself. You would never reach the Gardens of the Dead. But The Avatar can because of the Ascension, made possible by Raava's sacrifice."
"And that was enough to beat Vaatu?" Aang asked.
Kirku shook his head. "Not fully. Raava could only bond with Wan for brief amounts of time. Only when she was bonded with him did he have access to all the elements; when they were not bonded, he only had access to whichever element Raava left him connected to. We were not The Avatar then, not as you are."
"How did we become The Avatar?"
"The Harmonic Convergence."
"Which is?"
"A cosmic miracle that occurs every ten-thousand years in which Light and Darkness come together and determine the fate of the Realms. During the Harmonic Convergence, the stars themselves align perfectly, creating a vast influx of spiritual energy, and Wan fought Vaatu, but it was nowhere near enough because Raava and Wan were not fully merged—and Vaatu had an army of spirits helping him. When Wan drank the sap of the Tree of Time, the center of the Immortal Realm, and absorbed the cosmic energy of the Void of Eternity, he and Raava merged forever, changing him, ascending him to The Avatar—and destroying Raava in the process, subsumed into Wan. There was only The Avatar, no Raava; in effect, The Avatar replaced Raava's position, a superior being. Avatar Wan defeated Vaatu and his army of corrupted spirits, who were unprepared for the sudden onslaught of power. Then Wan imprisoned Vaatu inside the Tree of Time. After the Harmonic Convergence, Avatar Wan convinced the spirits to cease their semi-annual invasions of the Mortal Realm, becoming a mediator between both Realms."
"The Balance-Keeper," Aang whispered, amazed, leaning back in contemplation of everything Kirku revealed, which echoed in his ears.
Nobody spoke a word for a long time, but Kirku remained ever-present, patient.
Aang closed his eyes. "Is this what it means to 'let go of my misconceptions'?"
"Part of it," Kirku replied. "But you must discover for yourself what else deceives you."
"Why divulge all of this?" Azula demanded. "There is more to it; there must be."
Kirku looked grave. "Vaatu has escaped from his prison in the Tree of Time."
The solemn words floated in the air of the home on Ember Island, and Aang almost staggered, needing to brace his hand on the floor. A physical and gruesome revulsion echoed in his heart, and he suddenly felt the tangible taste of fear in his mouth; he instinctively knew that he had just experienced Wan's response to the news.
Silence.
Aang blinked hard, trying to keep his voice controlled. "What? That's impossible. How could he have- "
"Nobody knows," Kirku replied.
"How do you know he escaped?"
"The Immortal Realm feels differently. If you visited, you would feel it. All spirits, even those in the Gardens of the Dead, feel something different. No one seems to know what it is, but The Avatars know, and that is why I needed to speak with you about all of this. Nobody knows how long exactly Vaatu has been missing, for time flows differently between the Realms. But I can think of no acceptable reason for how he escaped his prison. It was thought to be impossible."
Azula glanced at him, looking grim. "Do you think he is in the Mortal Realm?"
Aang felt dread. "No. I'd feel him if he were. Right?"
Kirku shook his head. "You should be able to sense him, but Vaatu is sly and cunning; he may be able to conceal himself from your senses."
"But if he's in the Spirit World, I could put him back in the Tree of Time," he said before realizing something; he should have realized it earlier. "How did Wan defeat Vaatu if he was in the Spirit World? It was only his spirit- "
"You must relearn—remaster—the ancient ways, Avatar Aang," Kirku interrupted, amused. "I teleported to the Immortal Realm many times during my reign, and all my predecessors to Wan did, as well."
"Teleport?" he asked, eyes widening in realization, and he noticed that Azula didn't realize the significance. "Your body was in the Immortal Realm."
"Yes."
Azula frowned. "What is so critical about- "
"I can't bend in the Spirit World," he cut in urgently, feeling a sense of awe at what was. "I can't bend; no one can bend. Because it is your spirit that is there and not your body. But to teleport means that I could bend. That's how Wan defeated Vaatu—because his body was there."
"But it does not mean you should bend," Kirku emphasized. "Unless you are under attack, an incredible rarity considering we are The Avatar, you never use your bending in the Spirit World. Preserve the sanctity of the Immortal Realm. Wan never used his bending in the Immortal Realm again for the rest of his reign."
Aang closed his eyes, trying to overcome his shock; he was reasonably successful. "Thank you for sharing all this information. But can you help me with true flight? It's the reason I summoned you."
Kirku sighed. "If you wish to know about the scroll, Avatar Aang, know this—bending over the generations changes, and not all changes are good. I believe that most changes are foul- "
"I believe that, too," he agreed, thinking of his race and their infinite loss—because of change.
"The teachings differ, and the knowledge of the chi pathways has changed. I believe the source of these changes may be, partly, my fault."
Azula's eyes narrowed. "Why? What did you do?"
"What I did not do," Kirku corrected, looking worn and weary. "I was complacent rather than proactive. I died quite prematurely upon my death. The Avatar often lives a very long time, sometimes even half a millennium, because of the strength of our chi—Avatar Wan himself lived for that long. Because of this, only thirty-eight of us have existed, including you, Avatar Aang, because the Avatar Spirit has only existed for ten thousand years. Each Avatar Cycle lasts a thousand years, no matter what; it is part of the bigger cosmic cycle of Life and Death."
Azula glanced at him, something curious but urgent on her face. "Is that why Roku died so young?"
"He died young because of Sozin," Aang answered quickly. "But however long Roku lived influences his successors in the newest Avatar Cycle because Roku was the start of the next cycle, the one we're in now—since Wan was born a Firebender."
"You are the second Avatar in the newest Avatar Cycle, the thirty-eighth in total," Azula realized. "And each cycle is a thousand years in length exactly?"
Kirku nodded. "Yes. Avatar Aang is one-hundred-twenty years old. When combined with Roku's seventy years, there are eight-hundred-ten years remaining in this Avatar Cycle."
"So, how does this work with Harmonic Convergence?" she asked. "Does the next Fire Avatar fight him during the next 'cosmic miracle'?"
"No one knows because it has not happened yet; this will be the first Harmonic Convergence with the Avatar Cycle. And because Vaatu escaped, I cannot say how things will progress."
Aang changed the conversation back to Kirku's failure. "You died prematurely, you said."
Kirku's ethereal hands clenched, a foreboding omen. "I was supposed to live for several more decades, maybe centuries even. But one day, several stars crashed into the ocean near the North, causing monstrous tsunamis and earthquakes that threatened to sink the Tribe. I battled it, combating everything at once."
"And it killed you," Azula observed, voice not unkind.
"Yes, because while I did defeat the impacts of the stars, they defeated me, as well. I worked myself to exhaustion, and when I tried to draw on The Avatar State, it would not come. Because it was part of the Avatar Cycle, my death was meant to happen then. And I had to die knowing that I failed."
"But you stopped the impacts of the stars," Aang said in bemusement. "How did you fail?"
Kirku closed his eyes. "When The Avatar knows the time of his death is near, he prepares the world for his passing, and that is the only way the time in-between will be peaceful. But similar to how your predecessor, Avatar Roku's passing was unexpected, mine was just as much so."
"There's more to that than at first glance," he observed. "Why?"
His past life grimaced, looking almost humiliated—and also tired. "My situation in the years prior to my death was somewhat similar to what yours is now, Avatar Aang."
Aang tensed. "What do you mean?"
"About a decade before my death, the Waterbenders were almost wiped out just like your Air Nomads were."
His eyes widened in shock and dread, and Azula sat straighter. "What?" he demanded. "Really? You understand my situation?"
"Somewhat," Kirku disclosed. "The severity is not the same. The Children of Water, in my time, lived with the Children of Earth on the continent—Earth and Water were together. It was not ideal, but I never discovered a solution to the problem, which was my fault—thus, inadvertently, becoming the catalyst for my race's near extinction. For centuries, the Earthbenders and Waterbenders were conflicted in their beliefs, and petty squabbles, resulting in multiple wars being declared many times, but each time, I always put a stop to it. But eventually, I failed to see how dark the emotions truly were between Water and Earth. I was negligent, Avatar Aang, in preserving the peace, and I pray that you do not make the same mistakes that I did."
"What happened?" he whispered, trying stop the quiver of his emotion throbbing in his heart. "How did it happen?"
"I was not there when it happened. I was away, building each of the Air Temples for the Airbenders. But the Earthbenders struck because they knew I was preoccupied; they attacked my race, trying to destroy them once and for all." Kirku sighed tiredly, his water-colored, ethereal eyes closing. "Although the resulting conflict was nowhere near the massacre level of the Airbenders thousands of years later, Avatar Aang, it was devastating, and I felt responsible because I was not there to help my race."
Aang felt compassion for his past life and, to his shame, relief that someone else understood his guilt and pain. "Just as I wasn't there to help my race," he said softly, dimly noticing that Azula bowed her head in remorse of Sozin's crimes.
"And the Waterbenders had no chance without you there, for the Earthbenders were surrounded by their element," Azula murmured, frowning. "That is when the Waterbenders moved to the Poles, correct? After their near murder?"
Kirku nodded. "Yes, but only to the North. It was not until far after my reign as Avatar when the Southern Water Tribe rose to power. Because of me, there were not many Waterbenders left in the world and no Masters, at that—they were all killed in the conflict with the Earthbenders. So, in hopes of rectifying my mistakes, I convinced the Ocean and the Moon Spirits to forfeit their immortality and join the Mortal Realm to help the Waterbenders rebuild. It was bitter work, but my efforts paid off, for, on the Winter Solstice, they joined the Mortal Realm, immortality forever out of their grasp. They joined the North and gifted many with waterbending who had the correct mindset, and the children who were soon born were also Waterbenders, blessed by the Ocean and Moon. I sired many children with multiple women, trying to help as best as I could with my blood, but I was the only true Master remaining. I trained everyone, my own children, as best as I could, but the stars soon fell. A decade was nowhere near enough time."
"And you didn't have enough time to help your race rebuild," Aang concluded, a terror rising inside him. He wouldn't let that happen to Air! He was going to get started rebuilding! Even if he needed all the women in the world, he would spread his seed of Air to propagate!
"Yes. Without someone to teach them the true ways, the Waterbenders in the North chose to learn on their own, and because of this, some of the true teachings have been lost. After my death, much knowledge of the bending arts has been lost. I wasn't there to make sure people stayed true to their teachings because I hadn't prepared them for my death. The bending arts became corrupt. I once stumbled upon an Airbender who became one with the wind, mastering true flight. There were many Airbenders during that time who knew true flight. He was the first, and his name was Laghima; he revealed that the Air Spirit visited his dreams, divulging the very secret to weightlessness. Because I was The Avatar, he revealed the secret to me, and once I saw through my misconceptions, I became the only Avatar to have ever mastered it; I am the one whose power you used during Ba Sing Se."
"Did you create this scroll?" he asked, holding it in his hands.
"No, I can only assume Laghima or one of the other Airbenders of that time did. But if that is true, it is over eight thousand years old, so I do not know how you acquired that scroll. But I can tell you it is achievable—you can learn it. It is real; all of it, everything I told you, it is real."
"Can you teach me weightlessness?"
"It would be pointless and a waste of energy for you. You already possess the knowledge on how to master it. Only you can unearth the misconceptions plaguing you. It is something that only you can do for yourself. It is not something that I can teach you. You must discover it on your own."
Azula then spoke up as Aang was too disappointed by Kirku's words. "What must we need to do about him?"
Kirku sighed. "I do not know. Vaatu has escaped from the Tree of Time by means unknown, and a reckoning is coming, one that you must be ready to face, Avatar Aang."
Aang swallowed, remembering Pathik's warning from all those years ago, and his eyes were open; he began to see, and what he saw were the outlines of something sinister. "I may know someone who can help."
"Good," Kirku said with a smile. "I know you are angry with your friends, but you will need their help with this. Do not let your bitterness conquer you."
He dispersed suddenly and drifted back into Aang's body.
For several moments, both Aang and Azula stared at the spot where Kirku had just been, the ethereal words still floating in the air.
"That's a lot to process," he said eventually, trailing off as he laughed in disbelief.
Azula nodded and fully turned towards him. "It is quite invigorating to know all of that history while the rest of the world remains ignorant of the truth."
"It's how it feels in The Avatar State, but it's even more intoxicating if I'm being honest." He saw her golden eyes widen, and something like almost like excitement, was carved into her features. Before she could say anything, though, he stood up. "Unfortunately, he's right. I need to warn the others. It wouldn't bode well if I didn't. The vacation's over."
Her face twisted with something. "I wished for more time."
"So did I," he confessed. "But it's time. It's already been too long- "
"One last day," Azula insisted, features smoothing out. "Let us destroy those feeble mortals in volleyball and cherish it."
"I don't know, Azula."
"Aang, worry about the world tomorrow," Azula's eyes were beckoning, and he found himself unable to resist her, a dangerous possibility, but he honestly didn't care.
He was able to admit that he was attracted to her, but nothing would ever come of it, though. He would make sure that it wouldn't. And although knowing that he shouldn't, he decided to go destroy some people in volleyball.
XxXxXxXxXxX
Storming into his meditation like an angry Earthbender after they destroyed their opponents in volleyball and ate at one of the food carts, Azula's features had lost the softness that they had earlier. Instead, her golden eyes burned with rage, and he wasn't certain if that anger was directed at him or someone else. And the most disconcerting item regarding her appearance was the giant, beautiful Warhawk sitting on her shoulder, animal eyes connecting with Aang's own.
"Bad news?" he guessed.
Azula raised a brow. "It is from my brother." Her voice was flat, and Aang winced as her eyes began to assess him critically. She was very angry, no doubt because of what the message that Zuko had written entailed, but he felt the beginnings of trepidation simmer in his mind. Whatever news Zuko had, it must be bad to inflict such an expression on Azula's face.
Slowly standing up to his feet, he stepped closer to Azula's tense form and gently took the scroll from her hand, his fingers crinkling around the parchment, and stared down at its words. His eyes grew larger the further he read:
Azula,
I do hope that this letter finds you in good spirits and that the house isn't depressing you too much, but I'm afraid that if the house somehow hadn't been depressing you, my next words will. Father's escaped from his prison with the aid of, as the guards have claimed, a dark presence. It is a spirit of some sort, a very powerful one. We know how, but the details are very disturbing. He escaped about three months ago, and I had stubbornly, mistakenly believed that I could handle it, but I can admit that I was wrong—I made a mistake, Azula. I have written The Avatar countless messages but each time, I have received no response. Nobody knows where he is, and I've even thought him dead, but the Fire Sages have thankfully assured me that The Avatar isn't dead. Mother and Uncle are here, and they are as concerned as I am by these drastic and dreadful turn of events.
I've grown truly desperate; I will be honest with you. The Gaang, the group of peasants whom you battled during the Great War several times have arrived at the Caldera after I requested their aid. And as I had suspected, they know nothing and have been no help. I've tried to leave you in peace, but I can do so no longer, Azula. I am ordering you, as your older brother and your Fire Lord, to return to the Caldera with the utmost of haste. I would like nothing more than to let you live out the remainder of your life in the house on Ember Island, but I can't. I've hit my limit, I truly have. Please come to the Caldera, I'm begging you—yes, begging you. Now you surely understand how frantic I have become. I haven't known how to go about this because the only person who could truly understand what is going on has disappeared.
I need you here, and I swear on my honor that Kuei will receive no words about your arrival from any of those who are loyal to me, and thus you. If he does somehow get wind of your residence, whether on Ember Island or in the Caldera and, thus, increases his efforts in this war, I will personally go to the Earth Kingdom and assassinate him myself—I don't care. I'm furious, and he has insulted me one too many times. Please reply to this letter so that I can know that Father hasn't gotten to you again. Be careful, Azula. I don't know what I would do if I was ever notified of your passing.
Zuko
Aang looked away from the words after reading through it several times. He had known a few weeks ago that he had been at Ember Island for too long at a time, but if he was honest with himself, he hadn't cared; he had needed the vacation and, in hindsight, he did feel a lot better.
He decided to indulge in his selfishness for a few months and had hoped that the world could handle his small absence, but apparently, he was wrong—The Avatar is always needed somewhere, no matter how petty the problem. But he did feel incredibly bad. He had no idea that Zuko was pulling his hair out in frustration or that his friend had been attempting to create contact with him for months.
"It really is the end of the vacation," he said, not even attempting to smother the sadness in his voice. "I'm going to leave within the hour."
Azula smirked up at him. "We are leaving within- "
Aang inhaled sharply. "No. You'll be killed the moment someone recognizes you. Kuei's probably got a ransom on your head."
"Of course, he does," she dismissed with the wave of her hand. "But no one will be able to collect with you around, Avatar."
The way her golden eyes gleamed, along with her smirk, alerted him that she put a considerable amount of thought into her decision, probably having used the time after she had first read the letter.
Despite the truth in her words, Aang shook his head. "No, you need to stay here. I had no idea that Zuko's been messaging me for the past months. Although he said he would assassinate Kuei himself—no doubt a boost to your ego- "
She smiled. "It is, believe me."
"- I don't want it to reach that point. Assassinating Kuei would only make things worse and mire the Earth Kingdom in internal strife. It's me Zuko needs there, not you."
Azula laughed, and the sound echoed in the air, and Aang had to admit that the sound was more than pleasant. "You are so arrogant, Avatar—I love it. However, I will be just as much help as you. After all, I spoke with Avatar Kirku as well and might remember things that you do not. Who else do you think that the 'dark presence' is whom the guards claimed liberated my father from his prison?"
Aang closed his eyes, hating that she was right. "Vaatu."
"I would bet all the gold and treasure in the royal coffers, and Zuzu's own personal coffers, that it is him," she assured with utter confidence. "And this is my father. If Zuzu, with Mother and Uncle's help, has failed to find any leads in three months, he needs all the help he can acquire, especially mine. And the Fire Lord explicitly ordered me, a subject of him, to return to the Caldera. Would you really disobey the Fire Lord, Avatar?"
Aang almost felt insulted by her question, especially at the amusement in her eyes. "Yes." He saw that she looked greatly pleased by his answer for some reason. "The Avatar is loyal to no ruler or nation, even though we will usually claim permanent residence in the land of our birth. We are above such trivial subjects as a King or Fire Lord. Look at Roku. The only reason that Sozin ever succeeded was that his sentiment toward his best friend blinded him. Just the simple presence of Roku negated all of Sozin's plans for decades."
She smiled, standing tall. "Precisely. If anyone can negate the threat of Kuei, it is you, Aang. My things are already packed. I am waiting on you to leave."
He stared at her silently for several moments in bemusement. How did she fail to see the threat that her life was in? "I don't understand," he said after a moment. "Why? You could stay on Ember Island for the rest of your days and eat all the komodo chicken you could ever want. Why do you so desperately want to go with me?"
Azula sighed. "We already discussed this. I refuse to run away- "
"You could have peace."
"I will only have peace by confronting my father," she replied. "I want to imprison him again or kill him—whichever is necessary. I made many mistakes, Aang, too many, and I wish to find pride in my accomplishments. I can never be free until I confront all these things. Will you deny me that?"
Aang slouched, feeling his Earthbender-like stubbornness ebb away at the sight of her hypnotic eyes. "Very well," he conceded, "but you won't attempt to harm any of the Gaang, got it? You will be a tremendous help, and although I'm beyond furious with them, we're, unfortunately, going to need their help; Kirku said as much." He sighed aloud and ran a hand through his hair. "So, I guess that we're both leaving Ember Island, then."
Azula smirked up at him in victory. "Like there was another outcome."
XxXxXxXxXxX
Looking over the side of the saddle to view the world below was intoxicating, Azula had to admit. She had always viewed herself as above the rest of the world because of her beauty, strength, firebending, and wit, but now, she truly was above them—like a goddess looking over the mortals, like The Avatar himself.
Aang sat on the sky bison, Appa's head, looking completely at ease, looking a part of the wind as the scroll mentioned that he should be able to walk on. Shivers, despite her best efforts, wracked her frame, and she breathed small puffs of her fire every few moments to warm herself up. "How are you not cold?" she demanded, her voice carrying to her companion's ears.
He turned around and effortlessly leaped into the saddle, landing soundlessly in a sitting position, smiling at her in amusement as he shrugged. "Not one bit. I can't remember the last time I truly ever felt cold, not even when I was trapped for a century in the Iceberg. Waterbenders have some resistance to the cold, and plus, I'm an Airbender, so I am used to it. Appa here doesn't ever feel the cold just like me. Not even at the Northern or Southern Water Tribes. His fur is too warm and thick."
"A wise trait to have," she pointed out, staring at Appa. She remembered her actions towards the animal all those years ago and, one day, she approached the sky bison, feeling quite foolish, and apologized at Aang's behest.
She had not dared disobey, especially when his gray eyes roiled like mighty storm clouds. She felt guilty, especially when Appa roared, the air around him exploding off him in waves, rushing at Azula in a violent and potentially deadly attack.
Thankfully, Aang simply stepped in front of her, the air becoming harmless in his presence, or else, she knew that she would have been seriously injured. Aang hugged his best friend, the sight too intimate for her eyes, but she had been unable to look away. He coaxed his friend to listen to her words, and he motioned her forward.
Azula slowly and warily stepped towards the massive sky bison, memories of her shooting fire blasts at him ever-present in her mind. She was a hair's breadth away from the enormous, tough horns that, if she remembered correctly from her studies, could pierce through a dragon's hide, the only breed of animal in the history of the world that could do so. It was rumored that Fire Lord Sozin hunted the Air Nomads for that reason, too.
"I enjoyed terrorizing you then," she said, staring into Appa's intelligent eyes. "I basked in imposing myself over others, and I cherished the memories of the fear that always looked at me. I know you do not like me, which is understandable; it would be wrong if you did like me. But the girl you met and who assaulted you is not the woman before you. That girl went mad and lost herself in the abyss and darkness of the chaos and fear of her mind. This woman is starting a new path, one that can never forget the old path but remember it as a warning. I am sorry for many of things, the foremost of which is something over which I had no control. I am sorry my lineage destroyed Air."
Appa, in a blurred motion, wind whipping around, loomed over her, floating above the stone, eyes narrow and intense, unlike any eyes she ever encountered; his mouth extended toward the tip of her head.
"Appa," Aang warned from where he stood behind her, his voice clear and strong. "Rethink what you're thinking."
"And what is he thinking?" Azula asked, trying to keep her voice light; she succeeded.
Aang sighed heavily. "He wants to eat you."
Her body tensed against her will, but she did not turn around as she nearly did. "I thought he was a vegetarian like you," she hissed through gritted teeth. "Make him stop!"
"He's angry," Aang replied, voice resigned and annoyed. She had the thought that Aang was going to allow Appa to swallow her whole, but she knew it was preposterous. "Whatever happens, don't use your bending, okay? No firebending. It's a test."
Before she could respond, Appa's open jaw clamped around her upper body. Azula's eyes slammed shut as terror spread through her mind as she pitifully prepared for the Gardens of the Dead—but she was not ready! She did not want to die, not when she was only beginning her journey to glory and peace! She hoped she would see Grandfather and Lu Ten, but there was no pain splintering through her mind; her body was not being ripped apart. Slowly, she had opened her eyes, and she noticed that Appa's mouth was quite large, but filled with saliva that, she noticed, drizzled all over her face, sullying her hair. For several moments, she stayed inside Appa's unthreatening mouth, his large tongue smearing all over her body and face. His large teeth were very near, but they did not indicate that they would tear her body in half.
After several more moments, Appa spit her back out, forcing her to fall to her knees in a heap of saliva and ruined clothes. Azula wiped the excessive saliva from her face as best she could, refusing to look at Aang—why did she care if he saw her in such a state?—and looked up at Appa.
"You are better than me," she whispered. "Your mercy is something I still have yet to learn. Thank you. And you need not worry about Aang. I will not harm him. He is my friend, my only friend."
Appa's intelligent eyes loosened from their narrow state, and he huffed, the air whooshing wildly as he plopped back down on his belly to rest. Aang appeared next to her in a blink of an eye, petting Appa's forehead, directly over the arrow.
"He's forgiven you," he said, and she tried to scrub the saliva out, but it only made it worse. "But you must earn his trust."
"I will," Azula vowed. "Although, I would have appreciated a little warning. These garments are ruined."
Aang grinned at her, and she refused to dwell on the relief she felt when he seemed not even to notice her physical state. "Maybe that was part of the test."
What followed was a spar in which she made little advance against him; the might of The Avatar was intense, and he was so far from the boy he once was. It only became more noticeable the longer she spent time with him. At first, she was fascinated and in awe of the changes, both physical and mental. Physically, the changes were pleasant, for The Avatar had matured into a beautiful man. But mentally, there was so much more; there was a challenge, someone who could keep up with her and was not intimidated by her. It was refreshing; it was amazing; it was liberating.
But the longer she spent time with him, something resembling comfort became more important than the fascination and awe she felt. His presence was a comfort to her, and she ceased feeling her irritation with Spineless Kuei. After all, it was Spineless Kuei's temerity that had been part of the problem that drove Aang to pursue his vacation, and it was an excellent vacation. She never imagined she could find connection—and possible solace—with The Avatar, but she did, and it was part of the reason she refused to be left behind on Ember Island when Zuko's letter arrived.
If Aang left, would she regress in her excellent progress? Would she revert to the girl of the Great War, weaponized by her father through fear? And the company was comfortable, something she had never experienced. With Zuko, it was different, something familiar and reliant; with Aang, it was fascinating and exciting, interesting her more than it should. She suspected the roots of it lay in attraction, for The Avatar had matured beautifully, and he looked quite enticing with the hair on his head.
And the power he possessed—marvelous.
It made her regret her tactical strategy during the Great War. Although, she could admit that if she tried to seduce the twelve-year-old Aang, he likely would have fainted—or been terrified.
She really should have tried it.
"It is wonderful up here," she said, watching as Aang looked delighted by her words. "I understand the appeal, floating in the sky with no one to bother you or impress their burdens on you. It is liberating—a complete difference from what I experienced growing up."
It felt almost miraculous.
Aang smiled at her. "It's freedom, Azula. It's why my race lived at the Air Temples, never caring what the other nations thought of them; they were unburdened by trivial things like everyone else."
Azula looked out into the wind, still confused by the perennial mourning she felt since realizing the depth of Sozin's slaughter of Air. "I feel a substantial loss for someone—a race—I never met nor knew," she confessed. "I do not understand. I prefer not to feel anything regarding your race; then, I would feel no guilt nor heaviness. I cannot describe it."
Aang looked like death. "I can."
She believed him.
"It is hard for me to imagine that such greatness as you describe existed," Azula said carefully, spacing her words. "They were renowned. But their renown is what destroyed them- "
"Sozin destroyed them," Aang corrected, voice adamant and uncompromising; his eyes were flat, on the verge of dark, and she brushed aside the memory of slamming into the wall of her scorched room on Ember Island after she insulted his race.
"You said they were perfect, never caring what the other nations thought, living in insolation."
"And?"
"That takes much will and strength, but that isolation destroyed them in the end—because there was no one there, no allies, to fend off Sozin," Azula emphasized in challenge, wanting to see his reaction. "The Air Nomads were only concerned with themselves; they had no connections with the other nations, and, ultimately, it was their fault."
Aang stared at her, face ancient. "It was my fault- "
"No, your Elders should have- "
"Mistakes were made, most of all by me. I wasn't there to stop Sozin; it's my fault."
"You were a child- "
"I'm The Avatar." Aang's voice darkened in bitterness; something seemed to seethe in his gray eyes. "If I went into The Avatar State, I could have destroyed Sozin and his armies."
"Even under the Comet?"
"Yes," he said flatly, like it was obvious.
Considering she had experienced his power against her when he was not going all-out and considering that he was the thirty-eighth Avatar, it could be reasonably assumed that all his past lives had reached a similar level of power by the time of their deaths, Azula believed his claim. She desperately yearned to see The Avatar State again. Every time she had asked, he refused. Hopefully when he saw his old allies at the Caldera, he would enter The Avatar State.
Then it would still be a vacation.
"It was me that caused my race's murder; it was The Avatar that produced all of that evil, which makes The Avatar evil."
Azula's brows rose, and she found herself deprived of speech for several moment as she absorbed the utter conviction with which Aang spoke.
"It is a wonder your mind did not break," she commented at last.
"It didn't break because I had support—however shortly." Aang's eyes were heavy but truthful. "If they weren't there, I would have lost myself in The Avatar State—forever. I would have razed all of Fire in my grieving wrath."
She tried to picture it—a twelve-year-old boy with the power of the world, hysterical over what happened, fueled by rage and unacceptance, and further fueled by all the past Avatars, each with their own fury over what happened to Air. She believed his claim, for Aang knew the power of The Avatar; Azula, for all her strides in understanding and experience sparring with him, knew very little of his power and could never accurately assess his might, especially when he entered The Avatar State. She was always a prodigy, and Aang was a prodigy beyond her, based on the stories he told her, about which she knew he never lied. She knew her capabilities as a prodigy and could assume her capabilities with the power of the world inside her and with the might of all the elements, along with the power of all previous lifetimes. It would have been a slaughter beyond Air's murder.
Azula found herself absurdly thankful for those peasants.
"Do you want to see them?"
Aang shook his head, but there was something on his face—a curious tension between resentment and longing. "No. I haven't seen Katara and Sokka in about six years now, and I haven't seen Toph since the War ended. I'm not who I was, and they're not who they were. What we once had is gone."
"Do you want it back?"
"I want everything back," he replied, fists clenching over his legs. "I want the world to make sense; I want people to make sense; I want myself to make sense. I've had none of that since Sozin's evil."
She experienced that longing once more for something she never knew. "Would Air have helped in the Great War?"
Aang glanced at her, eyes troubled. "They shouldn't have but look at me—I'm proof of how far an Air Nomad can fall from Air's philosophy, teachings, ideals, and ethics. If none of the Temples were hit, they would never join or even think about the War. But if one or more of the Temples were hit and desecrated, including everyone inside, it's possible they would have helped—and killed."
Azula perceived the inherent tactical advantage of Air and understood, better than ever before, why Sozin feared Air. "And they would have held the fundamental advantage in any war—the sky. They held the elevation, and even our dragons could never have stopped them. Sky bison horns can pierce a dragon's hide."
"My race weren't fighters," he whispered, somehow heard in the winds; she suspected his airbending. "They were lovers of Life. They were so far beyond the other nations, but they were so far beyond that they were blind to the disgraces of Sozin, unable to sink to such levels. Part of me wishes that they weren't so great and beautiful; part of me wishes they could sink to Sozin's level—because then Sozin would never have succeeded, or, at least, wouldn't have succeeded so completely."
"They were so far to one extreme that they forgot the other extreme," she observed quietly.
Aang sniffed, and tears were in his eyes. "There were some survivors of the initial onslaught."
Azula's eyes widened slightly. "Really? We were taught that Sozin's succeeded in a single day- "
"A lie," he stressed, voice catching. "Bumi met a couple one time, and he told me about it. And Kuei told me about annals in Ba Sing Se's library that detailed a surviving Air Nomad's testimony about what he experienced. And I read those annals; they're back at the Southern Temple. I know what happened, and I know the things he—and surely the others—faced. But I can't imagine it; I can't imagine how terrified and hysterical the survivors, my kin, felt; I can't imagine how nomadic they behaved and lived, trying to stay alive and find other survivors, frantic beyond thought; I can't imagine never talking to someone else, too fearful to trust; I can't imagine any of it."
"I cannot, either," she said, watching him carefully, feeling the seething emotions slam against her like a wave of fire.
"And look at these tattoos!" Aang snapped, voice rising, grief and horror on his face; he gestured to his hands and lifted the hair from his forehead, revealing the massive arrowhead. "We made ourselves a target! Everyone always knows who I am because of these, and everyone knew who they were back then when they were running for their lives! And none of them could rely on other people to help them, for the love of money ensured there were spies and informants everywhere, even in the other nations!" Appa roared, and Aang nodded rapidly. "Yes! I know! And sky bison aren't conspicuous! Nothing about me and my race has ever been conspicuous! We were made to live, not survive! When it came time to survive, we were doomed—because of Sozin!"
"They still live on- "
"I know all the platitudes! I've memorized them and said them more than anyone in history! But it's not enough! It's never enough! All I want is to feel closer to them," he whispered with devastation on his face, an abrupt change from his shouting, and Azula wondered how his mind never broke, regardless of the peasants' brief influences. "I found this sacred, ancient ability of Air, and I can't master it. I've tried; I've been meditating for hours, trying to free myself from my misconceptions. Is it too much to ask for me to have this one thing?"
He looked at her as if she held all the answers, and she struggled for several long moments, trying to think of something to say. "I can no longer wield lightning- "
"But you once had it," Aang interrupted, something lifeless in his eyes. "You once experienced it. All I had was that one moment in The Avatar State before you ended that moment—just like Sozin ended Air's moment."
Azula almost flinched at the truthful accusation, but she knew she deserved it; she deserved many things, and Aang had been far too merciful and lenient. She owed him a perennial unpayable debt as an heir of Sozin, and she needed to pay it; it was honorable. And she was most fond of Aang; it would only please her to provide him recompense for her forefathers' sins.
"But does a liberation from misconceptions mean serenity?" she asked, reminding him of his point about serenity when mastering lightning. "Do you have to be serene to master true flight- "
"I am serene!"
"Perhaps that is one of your misconceptions- "
Aang's eyes darkened. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Azula only shrugged. "Perhaps; perhaps not; perhaps you can only master true flight once you deal with him and my father."
He seemed to calm down, nodding slowly. "Because after that, I begin rebuilding my race."
"Repopulating," Azula corrected, understanding what he meant.
"Yes."
"You decided?"
"Kirku gave me a lot to think about."
"Why have you not already spread your seed?" she asked. "I know there are many women willing- "
"I've had offers," he answered, and she was reminded of his confession that he had received adulation from women of each nation. "Too many offers. But I'm not ready; I'm not sure I'll ever be ready. But I have to do it. I think I'd be a terrible father."
Azula's brows rose in surprise. "I had a terrible father, and you reflect him minimally."
Though, there were some ways he did reflect him.
Aang's face twisted in uncertainty. "I think I'm too broken and tormented to be a father. I'd destroy Air again."
"I think you overestimate your capability for destruction and underestimate your resiliency."
He looked out across the clouds, and she only stared at the way Agni shone over his face for a moment too long. "Kirku's words about his failure with his race worries me a lot. I need to get started sooner than later. I need to spread my seed. But I would rather have a connection, a stable foundation that would help me revive Air. It's daunting. A wife would ease that burden, even though it's only me who can bring back air. But unless I find a Mother of Air, who is willing to bear me an entire nation, there will only be many mothers of Air, and I'll have to relive my time as Kuruk as readily as I can. I don't want to go such a route, but I will if I have to."
Azula observed his forlorn, exhausted, disgusted expression and remembered Zhao, to whom she was engaged—forcefully—before his miraculous death at the North. Her father demanded she marry Zhao, and she had no choice, forced into something she despised—just like Aang despised his situation.
She felt sympathy and a kinship, and she saw an opportunity—she needed to become the Mother of Air. If she bore Airbenders for him, her debt would be resolved, for she would be giving him the greatest gift that he could ever wish for—the return of Airbenders to the world, the true Air Nomads. The thought, she had to admit in realization, had a lot of perks and merits for her. Aang was the only person in the entire world, besides maybe her brother, whom she trusted implicitly, and she had always yearned, if she ever did marry, to be forever joined with a man whom she trusted.
Plus, she instinctively realized that she would enjoy it; The Avatar was a beautiful man, a god amongst frail mortals. She knew that she inherited her father's ambition, his attraction to power—rumor had it that her father had fallen in love with her mother after she bested him, the second son of the Fire Lord, in a firebending duel. Some days on Ember Island, Azula had observed Aang as he simply meditated by the ocean at night, the way how the water would swirl around his sitting form without touching him, respecting his strength. Then, when he would 'fool around,' as he put it, Azula glimpsed his subtle supremacy, when all the elements responded to him at once, circling around his body in a display of absolute power.
It was an arousing sight, indeed.
Growing up during her childhood, she always knew that she would be married off to strengthen the Fire royal family and that she would have no choice, only following her father's orders—just as what happened with Zhao. But now, she suddenly realized that marriage with Aang would not be unpleasant. All things considered, they had already been practically married on Ember Island—except the fun part. They lived together, ate together, spent time together, sparred together, and visited the sites together.
Azula had become soft, indeed, but it was not a bitter thought; it was a relief, a reminder that she was not the weapon Father shaped her into.
Aang helped her move away from that even more, and she could help him. That was what friends did—and they were friends. And she knew they would have no problems incorporating the fun part into their friendship if it was something he would agree to.
She sat straighter. "You bear a terrible burden, and I owe you a debt- "
Aang glanced at her, startled. "No, you don't. What debt?"
"I am an heir of Sozin- "
"That doesn't matter."
"I owe you a debt because of his crime."
"If you owed me a debt, you would owe me your death, and that's unacceptable. You don't owe me anything, Azula."
"Yes, I do." Azula smirked, but she knew it was forced. "Sozin provided Air death; I shall provide Air life."
Aang blinked before his eyes bulged from their sockets in realization. "What? No, no, that's not- "
"It is the foremost solution," she interrupted. "We understand one another as well as we can, and we can understand more with time. You interest me, and I know I interest you. And I do not foresee the sex being a problem. You were not covert in your reactions when we went to the beach in which I wore my flattering outfits."
He stared at her uncomprehendingly. "You're propositioning me?"
"Yes, but not now," Azula dismissed. "When all this is over, if it is acceptable to you, I nominate myself for Mother of Air."
Aang squeezed his eyes shut, a painful confusion on his face; perhaps she had underestimated his intelligence. "Why?"
"Now you need not worry nor stress about it, and I gain atonement for my lineage's sins. And I would enjoy certain benefits as your wife, I must admit."
"It is convenient," he admitted, finally looking at her with comprehension. "But, to quote you, it's absurd."
"This is not the Ember Island Players," Azula drawled, still disappointed in herself that she enjoyed those sappy, overindulged interpretations of the ancient epics. "It makes sense. We lived together for over five months. I am fond of your presence."
Aang looked skeptical, like he was waiting to awaken from a dream. "Enough to clear a 'debt'?"
"There is something poetic there," she observed, watching him. "I think the symbolism is clear. Sozin is responsible for Air's demise, and one of his heirs is responsible for Air's revival through her body, provoked by your seed- "
"Why are you doing this?" Aang demanded, gray eyes intense; she was unsurprised. It quickly became clear that whenever he spoke of his race that the charming and tempered disposition of a man forced to be congenial with others made way for something gruff and severe.
"I am giving you an option," Azula said pointedly, voice soft. "I am open to the possibility in the future—at least for now. If I change my mind, I change my mind, and you shall find another woman."
Aang stared at her, face impressively blank; she had no idea what he thought, which concerned her—if not made her feel dread. "I don't know."
"Why?" she asked, voice not as strong as she wanted; the way he looked at her evoked her wariness, for she remembered how he attacked her the one time she challenged him about Air.
He looked away for a moment, sighing deeply, almost harshly, before returning his impenetrable gaze to hers. "You're of Sozin's blood."
Azula's brows rose in surprise, never having considered that would be problematic for him. "Is the memory of blood that important?"
His face was imposingly unreadable, glaring at her, reminding her of Father's judgment when she was a girl, daring peer up at the shadow sitting behind the wall of flames on the Dragon's Throne. He reminded her suddenly of Father more and more—perhaps there were more similarities between them than she assumed and realized. "I thought you would think so, considering you're of a lineage that relies on the memory of blood."
"Well observed," she commended, thinking rapidly, feeling something close to a panic as his reviling judgment—he was not happy with her, like Father used to not be happy with her—slammed against her. "It is only an option, Aang. It is not every day a princess offers herself to you."
"I'm The Avatar."
She sat straighter. "Who else has offered herself to you?"
"It's been made clear to me by Zaofu's king that he was more than willing to give me all his daughters."
Azula waved her hand in dismissal. "I am much more beautiful than any of them. And I make for splendid conversations."
"You have shown a genuine fascination with and longing for Air," he muttered, seeming to talk to himself; his hand wrapped around the airbending scroll tightly.
"This is not a misconception," she promised, meeting his wandering eyes. "It is a solution—an expedient one."
Aang frowned, face stretching in distaste, gray eyes stormy. "This goes beyond honor and paying a 'debt.' Why would you want to help me with so monumental a task? Why are you, heir of Sozin, willing to nurture my seed of Air and revive Air?"
"Is this not what friends do?"
"I've never heard of such a thing. It's absurd."
Azula tilted her chin, something gnawing at her. "Your stress over the situation stresses me. I offered you a solution. Do with it what you will."
Before Aang could respond, Appa bellowed, the sound exploding the air around them.
Aang glanced over the side of the saddle, and Azula was unsurprised by the notification that they had arrived at the Caldera; Sozin Palace was more than visible in the distance. He hopped on Appa's head, scroll nowhere to be seen. Through Aang's guidance, Appa landed in the palace's courtyard, where her brother was waiting, and when he caught sight of her, his face slackened, eyes widened, stunned.
She calmly hopped off Appa and smiled innocently while walking toward her brother. "Hello, Zuzu. Have you realized the obvious? I succeeded where you always failed—I captured The Avatar."
"Sorry that I never got any of your messages, Zuko," Aang said, rubbing a sheepish hand on the back of his neck—how incredible a change it was compared to his mood and displeasure after her bold nomination for Mother of Air! Appa loomed over them as Momo chirped, and Azula's visual assessment was right. Aang was taller than Zuko. "I was on a vacation."
Zuko closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. "At my own house?"
"It is beautiful there," Aang defended. "Not as beautiful as the Air Temples, but it's- "
"The entire time I've been going insane, you were on a vacation?"
Aang looked a little guilty, but he did not seem apologetic. "It was much needed, and I ran into your sister of all people- "
"And I much needed a little courtesy!" Zuko snapped, looking disbelieving. "I would have appreciated a letter of warning! Do you even know there's a war going on?"
"Azula told me- "
"And you decided to stay on your vacation at my house?"
"It was much needed."
"And he was acting as my bodyguard since my life was in danger," Azula added, proud of her clever invention. "It is well-known he is a close friend of yours- "
Fire spurted from Zuko's fists, and, truly, he looked furious; he resembled Father. "Kuei declared war on me! You might as well have been in that iceberg again, Aang!"
Aang shook his head. "Gossip is everywhere on Ember Island. I know nothing's really happened in this new war—I'm not sure anyone's even died."
Zuko's face pinched. "Only some assassins targeting me and Earth officials who tried to stop my soldiers from evacuating the Colonies."
"I commend you, Zuzu," Azula praised. "You are a strong and worthy Fire Lord."
Her brother scoffed, and she knew his anger would last a while. "Like your opinion matters."
"It does."
"I'm sure Aang would agree since he was your 'bodyguard' on his vacation!"
"I would have done my vacation with you, Zuko, but I knew you wouldn't join me," Aang said softly, almost sadly.
Azula smirked. "And I must say that he found the better Fire royal sibling to vacation with. We set a new record on Ember Island for consecutive volleyball match victories- "
"I've set a record for consecutive days of not pulling my hair out!" Zuko shouted.
"Always so dramatic, Zuzu- "
Zuko leaned forward, golden eyes burning like Father's always did, and Azula found herself taking a step back before she caught herself. "I had to write all of them because you weren't answering!" he hissed through gritted teeth, fury unabated. "Do you know how many times I've signed their execution warrants only to burn them?"
Aang sighed. "Zero times."
"But I've thought about it."
"I'm here now- "
"To be helpful or wish you were still on your vacation?"
"I know who freed your father from his prison."
Silence.
Zuko's eyes widened, and the sudden relief on his face reminded Azula of Mother; she found herself wishing to see her again. "Thank Agni," her brother muttered, all anger gone. "And your vacation is what gave you such knowledge?"
"Yes."
"Then it was worth it," Zuko said. "You're going to have to talk to Kuei, and I mean talk to him. He demanded I surrender Azula or it's war." He turned to glare at her. "And what are you doing here? You know how dangerous it is- "
Azula scoffed. "You wrote me- "
"Because I couldn't find Aang anywhere! If you knew the only reason I wrote you was that I couldn't find him and knew he was there with you, you should have stayed and- "
"I already tried to convince her to stay behind," Aang cut in, voice tired and amused. "She convinced me my convincing was pointless."
Azula smirked. "The Avatar has not yet abandoned his post as my bodyguard."
Zuko glanced at Aang, something surprised and critical on his face. "Did anyone recognize either of you?"
"No."
Her brother nodded, looking lighter than he previously did. "I'm just relieved I can tell them to leave since we don't need them- "
"We need them," Aang said solemnly. "Trust me."
Zuko sagged. "For some reason, I'm not surprised."
"You will be when I reveal everything I know."
"We know," Azula corrected.
"And whose clothes are you wearing, Aang?" her brother asked, single brow furrowing.
Aang smiled. "Roku's."
Zuko's good eye widened. "Roku's? Where did you find it?"
"In Grandfather's room," Azula answered. "Grandfather kept much of his father's clothes, and among his father's clothes was Roku's."
"Does it feel strange?"
Aang laughed. "It feels comfortable."
Her brother's face registered many surprises, anger rapidly fading away as opened his mouth, but just as he was about to speak, the peasants came into the courtyard.
"There goes the comfort," Aang mumbled.
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant whistled. "Aang! Holy shit! You've grown so tall and big—and Appa, too! And look at that hair!"
Aang smiled, but it looked frayed. "Sokka," he greeted.
"What's with the Fire Nation outfit?"
Unsurprisingly, the Water Tribes non-bending peasant still had that annoying, grating voice that he possessed when she had hunting them all. She noticed Suki, her once-prisoner, next to him and felt a mixture of guilt and satisfaction when the woman refused to look in her direction, having obviously deduced who she was.
"I needed to blend in," Aang replied vaguely.
"Fair enough. You're recognized everywhere!" The Water Tribes non-bending peasant came and stood next to Zuko and looked at her curiously. "I don't believe we've met, but something about you seems familiar. I'd like to think I'd remember such a beautiful woman. Do I know you?" he asked innocently, eyebrows raised.
Azula's eyes narrowed in disbelief; she literally chased them around the world, and he refused to have the courtesy to recognize her. She felt insulted, offended by his lack of memory; she was memorable, and she would remind him of that fact.
Raising her hand in greeting, it became alight with her sapphire flames. "Do you?"
"Azula!" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant screeched like a wounded animal, sprang back and tripped over Suki in his haste to get away from her.
Aang laughed. "You really didn't recognize her? I knew it was her the moment I saw her eyes."
Azula felt fierce pleasure that Aang could recognize her by seeing her eyes, but could dwell on why later. It was probably her attraction.
"And you didn't attack her, why?" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant demanded from a safer distance, holding Suki tightly.
"Because she didn't attack me."
Azula smirked. "Until we sparred," she added.
"Until we sparred," Aang agreed.
"You were with Lightning Psycho, Twinkletoes? Are you serious?" The blind Earthbender's incredulous voice cut through the courtyard. "And here I thought that you were in the Spirit World on some important Avatar business, but nope! You were just consorting with the enemy!"
While she was impressed that the girl had the courage to call her 'Lightning Psycho,' she felt the temperature drop as Aang turned toward the blind Earthbender, gray eyes unfriendly. "Ozai's the enemy, not Azula."
"Those little spars of yours messed with your head."
"It was happenstance that I ran into her on Ember Island," Aang dismissed, and Azula felt certain that he wasn't aware that the smile on his face was cold. "She's not the enemy, and she's here because she'll be helpful."
The blind Earthbender's milky eyes narrowed. "You're not lying."
Aang's eyes were as hard as steel. "And it wouldn't matter if I was. I want Azula here, and she's staying."
Azula felt more than impressed; she felt deep admiration. Aang could act threatening when he wanted to; he could look most intimidating if he wanted to.
The blind Earthbender seemed taken aback by Aang's words, but just as Azula suspected, she shrugged and stomped closer, unseeing eyes assessing Azula. She herself raised an eyebrow, watching as she scrunched her features. The blind Earthbender seemed to observe her for several moments, and then, without a show of hesitation, she swiftly punched Azula's shoulder—hard.
Zuko's golden eyes filled with dread, but he did not need to worry about her responding with a blue fire blast to the blind Earthbender's face. Aang had warned her when they left Ember Island that the blind Earthbender found a source of joy when punching people, so he had recommended being prepared for a hard and bone-bruising punch to her arm.
Azula smiled at the sight of the Water Tribes non-bending peasant hiding behind Suki, but her smile faded when she glimpsed the Water Tribes peasant-bitch who defeated her during Sozin's Comet. Lightning seemed to erupt through her mind, and she knew she had the capability to shoot lightning. She felt serene about the possibility of killing the bitch! But that was unacceptable.
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch glanced worriedly at Zuko, and Azula cataloged the movement, recognizing it as an instinctive reaction. There was something, at least on the Water Tribes peasant-bitch's end since Zuko only glared at her, between them.
"Azula," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch said flatly, crossing her arms over her breasts as she smiled falsely.
While she would admit that the temptation to call her 'peasant' was strong, she would not break the established fragile peace. And while she could claim to be many things, she was not stupid.
"Katara," she intoned just as flatly.
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's face registered surprise, but her features smoothed out quickly, and instead of saying anything further to Azula, she turned to Aang and smiled hesitantly.
"Hi, Aang," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch said hopefully, voice soft. "It's good to see you."
Azula hoped she would see the glory of The Avatar State due to Aang's tight posture, but he only smiled; it was too tight, and it failed to reach his eyes, which were stormy. "Good to see you, too, Katara."
"How are you?"
"That's not important."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's eyes widened. "Yes, it is- "
"It never was before," Aang said, voice conveying he was done with the conversation. He turned to Zuko, failing to see the devastation on the Water Tribes peasant-bitch's face. Azula almost laughed. "We need to discuss these events. We'll talk about Kuei and then Ozai."
"We'll discuss the Loser Lord first," the blind Earthbender cut in, face twisting. "That's more important, Twinkletoes."
"How would you know since you haven't been around?"
Silence.
Azula was unable to prevent the smirk on her face at the expressions on the peasants' faces. "Zuzu, before the peasants lose their appetites, I suggest we move to the dining hall where there will be enough room to converse and eat if hungry."
"And Appa and Momo are coming with us," Aang added.
Zuko's only brow rose, eyes darting from the doorway toward Appa's large size. "Appa won't fit."
"I'll make him fit," Aang assured. "I'm not leaving him alone—nor Momo."
Her brother did not look particularly displeased by the suggestion, more amused than anything. "Very well, but it's up to you to entertain them."
"Make him fit?" the blind Earthbender asked, voice skeptical. "You mean me- "
Aang approached the entrance and motioned with his hands; the ingress stretched, metalbending to create a large enough entrance to fit Appa.
The blind Earthbender's face slackened with shock, along with the other peasants. "I never taught you metalbending!"
"I didn't need you to teach me," Aang replied, motioning everyone forward.
Azula smirked as everyone approached. "His sandbending was most impressive on Ember Island- "
"Sandbending?" the blind Earthbender echoed. "What happened to the Twinkletoes who hated training?"
"He's gone."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch looked near tears, and Azula could not resist.
"And I taught him lightning," she added casually, delighting in the blood draining from the peasants' faces as each gasped in varying degrees of horror. "He is a natural, of course. He mastered it in a single attempt."
Zuko glanced at Aang with barely hidden envy. "Really? The cold-blooded fire?"
"Because I was raised an Air Nomad," Aang answered, not even looking at the peasants. "Detachment is crucial—you must be serene."
"And have the strength of will," Azula commended, feeling the growing ire of the peasant behind her; their glares felt like flames searing her back. "And Aang has a strength of will unlike anyone I have encountered—besides myself, of course."
"Why, Aang?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch broke in, sounding so betrayed that Azula glanced behind her and verified that the level of betrayal matched that depicted on her scandalized, horrified face.
Aang didn't look behind him, continuing his stride. "Why not?"
"You know why!"
"I know how useful it is. Azula offered to teach me, and I accepted."
A snarl crossed the Water Tribes peasant-bitch's face as she glared poisonously at Azula, clearly believing her to be concocting some monstrous plan to kill them all.
As they all, as a group, along with Appa and Momo, made their way to the dining hall, it was an intense realization when Azula realized that she hated walking the halls. The memories were lurking like ugly beasts, the feeling of her lungs being devoid of air ever-present. She felt constricted, and she could almost feel Father looming over as he had always done, commanding perfection or else he would mar her beauty as he had Zuko's. Long ago, before her mind broke, and before her subsequent recovery, she never thought that she would ever wish to be away from the palace, but now, as she walked through the halls, she wanted nothing more than to leave.
She felt no freedom, only expectations.
"My liege," the Imperial Firebenders greeted, bowing to her brother, looking strangely at Appa, and when they noticed her, their eyes bulged from their sockets, their bodies automatically falling into a firebending stance, but when her brother growled lowly, they masked their fear and looked at her warily.
In reply, she smirked at them, feeling relief that she had not become too soft.
"Have the staff bring out a meal," Zuko commanded, diffusing the tense atmosphere.
"Of course, Fire Lord Zuko."
They walked into the room and were met with the sight of Mother and Uncle, and Azula found herself surprised that she felt relieved that Mother was okay. Mother smiled at her softly, looking like she wanted to rush over but thankfully remained seated. And to reward her, Azula inclined her head in greeting.
Mother's smile became beaming and nodded her head in return.
"Avatar Aang," Uncle greeted, standing to his feet and bowing. "It is a great relief to see you."
Aang smiled and inclined his head. "You, as well, Iroh."
"It is a relief to see you, too, Azula," Uncle said, turning his gaze toward her.
Azula only felt disappointed that she could not call him Uncle Fatso anymore, for such a title could no longer apply.
"Hello, Uncle," she replied.
"Of course, Iroh can get a beautiful woman, but Zuko can't," the Water Tribes non-bending peasant whispered to Suki. "You think it's the scar?"
Azula smirked when she realized that Zuko had not yet introduced Mother to the others, who presumed that Mother was Uncle's lover, but Azula would follow the Fire Lord's lead—as a devoted servant, of course. It certainly was not because she yearned for conflict and an escalation that could potentially force Aang into The Avatar State.
That would be absurd.
Absolutely absurd.
Simply ridiculous.
Everyone took their place at the table, and Azula found herself trapped between Zuko and Mother while Aang was squished between the blind Earthbender and the Water Tribes peasant-bitch; Appa plopped on the ground behind him, and Momo curled around the sky bison's horn.
There was a simmering tension in the air, awkwardness ever-present, but Azula basked in it; she had no reason to feel awkward.
"Will there be komodo chicken?" she asked, glancing at Zuko. "You know how- "
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant shuddered. "Wait! You like komodo chicken, too?"
"Of course."
He looked faint. "I think it's been ruined for me."
Azula only smirked. "More for me."
Aang looked amused. "You're not tired of it? You ate it a lot."
She nodded, glancing significantly at the peasants. "Aang and I ate at Ember Island's best komodo chicken place most often," she said, smiling innocently at the Water Tribes peasant-bitch, who clearly seethed but refrained from snapping. "The keeper assumed we were married, and we did not correct him to preserve our anonymity. Right, Aang?"
He seemed to understand what she was doing and why she was doing it, but he felt no mercy toward his old allies. "That's right."
"There will be komodo chicken," Zuko cut in, rolling his eyes. "But you said, Aang, that you know who took my father."
"We know," Azula corrected with a musical inflection, smirking at the peasants.
"What do you know, Aang?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch asked, voice too chipper to be natural; the strain on her face was obvious. "Who freed Ozai?"
"It is a spirit, yes?" Uncle asked.
Aang nodded. "A spirit. A powerful one."
"It has to be to cross into our world," Mother added. "And it was not on the Solstice. How did it come?"
"I don't know how it came when it wasn't the Solstice, but there are only two spirits who have both the power and audacity to do it."
Uncle leaned forward. "The Face Stealer?"
Aang sighed. "That's one of them. Well done on not saying his name."
"I am well-versed in these matters compared to everyone here but you, Avatar Aang. I warned everyone of the dangers of saying a spirit's name."
"Then that makes this easier," Aang said, clearly searching for words. "I'm not going to tell you the spirit's name, so you won't say it on accident. Always remember that names have power. Only I'll know his name- "
"And me," Azula added proudly.
"Only me and Azula will know his name," he corrected quickly, avoiding an outburst from one of the peasants. "This is a powerful spirit. And going forward, we will refer to him as Dark."
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant snorted. "Very original. I could have come up with that."
"Well, this Dark and the Loser Lord are going to get crushed," the blind Earthbender cut in, punching a fist into her cupped palm; she grinned. "I'm going to raise some spikes into their asses!"
"Good luck," Aang replied, voice almost sardonic. "Dark is a spirit, and he would protect Ozai from a spike attack going anywhere."
Zuko looked bemused. "But why would Dark want my father? He's powerless, right?"
Aang hesitated. "He should be."
"What does that mean?" her brother shouted, something stricken on his face. "You only tell me this now?"
"Because I never imagined this would happen," Aang replied, sighing, placing a hand on his head. "It shouldn't be possible for a spirit, even as powerful as Dark, to cross into the Mortal Realm on a non-Solstice day, but somehow, it is possible. It shouldn't be possible for Ozai to regain his firebending, but it might be possible, too. I don't know as much as I should."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch glanced hesitantly at Zuko before looking at Aang. "But how could Ozai regain his firebending, Aang? You took it away. Doesn't that mean it's gone forever?"
"None of you understand how bending works and how it's possible- "
Azula smirked. "I do."
Aang glared at her. "Because I taught you."
The blind Earthbender waved her hands. "Hold up! I know perfectly well how my bending works! I'm the one who taught you how your earthbending works, Twinkletoes!"
"What's the root of your bending, Toph?" Aang asked, challenging her, brows raised; Azula admired him more and more.
"My connection to the earth- "
"But where does the connection come from?"
"Inside me."
"Where inside?"
"The sensations- "
"Which are derived from where? What is the source of your bending?"
The blind Earthbender scoffed and leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. "Fine. I don't know. Enlighten me, all-wise Avatar."
Aang glanced at the Water Tribes peasant-bitch. "And your guess?"
"The Moon- "
"But I speak about all benders, not only Water. Only Firebenders and Waterbenders rely on outside sources for their bending—the Sun and Moon. Airbenders and Earthbenders don't have that."
"But Firebenders summon fire from inside themselves," Azula pointed out, watching Mother, Uncle, and Zuko nod in agreement. "It is the only element manifested from- "
"But it all comes together! The world is made of divine energies—the elements," Aang explained, standing to his feet as he began to walk around the large table, motioning with his fingers in intricate notions that Azula knew no one could understand but him. "Water, Earth, Fire, and Air—these are the foundations of our world. And benders are more vulnerable to these energies, more susceptible to them and feeling their presences—because their presences are everywhere forever. These elements are eternal, and even if there is no bender of that element, that element still exists."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch swallowed. "Like Air."
"A bender is open—vulnerable—to these energies, but only one of them—only one element. And this one element is passed on through your lineage based on how spiritual your ancestors were."
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant leaned forward. "You're talking about how bending came to be."
Aang nodded. "The Elementals were all worshipped by the Races, by the very natural sects that arose, which eventually transformed into the different Children of the Elements—the Children of Water; the Children of Earth; the Children of Fire; and the Children of Air. The most spiritual and connected to the element were blessed by the Elementals with the element, making them vulnerable to the energies necessary to harness that element. And that is when the benders looked to the animals of each element for mastery. The point is—bending is an inheritance passed through a familial line, and it depends on both the father and mother's sides of the family. If both your parents are benders, you are very likely to be a bender, but if only one of your parents is a bender, it is more than possible that you won't be a bender. The Fire royal bloodline is so powerful because it's successive generations of powerful Firebenders marrying advantageously other powerful Firebenders, producing powerful offspring, who repeat the process."
Azula sat taller. "Zuzu may fail to repeat the process at the rate he is going."
Her brother rolled his eyes. "At least I have a chance."
She felt tempted to announce her nomination for Mother of Air but refrained. "Of siring bastards? I agree."
"Why am I an Earthbender?" the blind Earthbender demanded, and Azula noticed that the Water Tribes peasant-bitch glanced at Zuko in shock—an incomprehension that the Fire Lord would have whores, clearly. "My parents aren't Earthbenders."
"But someone of your lineage was—and a powerful one, too," Aang answered. "It's the same with Katara. Neither of her parents are benders, and Sokka isn't, either. But her grandfather was a powerful and cunning Waterbender who had to be killed by Fire Lord Azulon himself. And her grandmother came from the North from a prestigious family—likely a powerful waterbending family. Why else was she able to travel and be betrothed to Pakku, an eminent Waterbender?"
Zuko's eyes widened, and he glanced at the Water Tribes peasants. "My grandfather killed your grandfather?"
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's lips parted in shock. "I never knew that."
"Dad mentioned a few things," the Water Tribes non-bending peasant said, brows furrowing, "but he never mentioned that. I knew our grandfather was a Waterbender, but I didn't know that the Fire Lord killed him."
Uncle's eyes shadowed. "I am sorry my family is responsible for strife befalling your family."
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant shrugged. "I never knew him, so I can't really say I'm upset. But my mom, on the other hand, I could crush some Fire skulls for that—and I did during the War."
Aang interjected wisely before anything else could be said: "What I did to Ozai obstructed that connection to his bending, that vulnerability to Fire, severing it completely. Smothering it, if that makes more sense."
Zuko looked grave. "But that 'vulnerability to Fire' can be restored?"
"Because it's in his blood, which brims with powerful Firebenders going back many generations," Aang replied, nodding his head. "It's in his lineage, passed down; it's innate; it's fundamental to who he is. His body is primed for it, already attuned to it. So, yes, I think it's possible he can get back his firebending."
"But how could he get it back?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch demanded. "If you severed it completely- "
Aang sighed. "Maybe that was the wrong word. Think of it like I put his firebending to sleep forever, and he could never regain it, nor could anyone alive ever help him regain it."
Uncle's eyes closed briefly. "But a spirit as powerful as Dark, whoever he is, could help Ozai awaken his firebending, reforging his connection to those divine energies."
"It's possible."
Zuko groaned, placing his face in his hands. "This is so much worse than I thought. I thought Kuei would be the worst thing to happen, but this happens during this new war. Why? Why does it matter? What use would my father be to Dark?"
"I fear the conclusion of that answer."
"What are you thinking, Twinkletoes?"
Aang smiled tightly. "That I have no evidence, only contradictory theories. I'm sure it's nothing."
The blind Earthbender looked solemn. "You're lying."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch looked like she wanted to reach out, but she only leaned forward. "What is it, Aang? What are you thinking?"
"That I need to speak with Kuei and figure out if he's part of this," Aang deflected. "The fact all this has happened around the same time is suspicious."
Azula reminded herself to question him about it later. "Explain to them who Dark is," she suggested. "As much as you can, at least."
Uncle nodded. "It would be appreciated, Avatar Aang. To defeat the enemy, you must know the enemy, and I can think of no spirit besides the Face Stealer who could be this Dark."
"Because you've never heard of him," Aang replied.
"It is a name that has been lost to the ages," Azula added. "He has been imprisoned for ten thousand years."
"How do you know that?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch demanded, eyes narrowing in outrage. "Because you work with him? Of course, you helped free your father- "
Azula scoffed, waving off Zuko. "I was on Ember Island with Aang the entire time. Do you really think I could fool The Avatar by doing something so bold and, frankly, impossible?"
"You are a good liar," the blind Earthbender muttered.
"And she's not lying," Aang interrupted, looking tired. "It's the last I want to hear of it. Azula is my friend, and she will be your ally during all this, no matter how long it takes."
"But how did she know that information- "
Azula smiled innocently, golden eyes daring the peasants to provoke Aang further. "The same way Aang knows it—I merely spoke with an Avatar who has been dead thousands of years—eight thousand years, I believe."
All eyes turned to Aang, the peasants' shining with betrayal, and he shrugged in admittance. "I was speaking with one of my past lives, and Azula joined in on our conversation; she was a great help with everything."
"But what about Dark?" her brother asked. "That's what matters. Who is he?"
"Powerful," Aang said. "An ancient spirit who has been imprisoned for almost ten thousand years until he escaped—somehow."
"And he was imprisoned where?" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant asked.
"The Tree of Time, which is the center of the Spirit World; It's branches hold the Realms together."
Suki closed her eyes. "And The Avatar put him there, didn't he?"
Aang nodded. "The first Avatar did."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's eyes widened. "So he hates The Avatar."
"A reasonable assumption," Aang mumbled, looking exhausted. "I wish I had more to go on."
Zuko sat straighter. "You need to hear my father's poem."
"Poem?" Azula echoed, shocked. "Father was never interested in poetry- "
"It was his invocation to summon Dark:
To battle a god, a god you must be,
Above all, with commanding majesty.
From the skies fall the tears of those who died
From Grandfather's glory, too weak inside
To summon strength against vast, crushing power,
Instilled by Heaven and Agni's glower.
Naught but failure in the pursuit arose
For the spiteful god, whom we must depose.
His existence to us is greatly vile,
Believed in and praised by those most senile.
The god lacks all but his malicious grace,
Born of a treacherous, sly, and frail race.
I dared challenge his cunning, vicious will
To realize Grandfather's dream and fulfill
The promise in my blood, an oath of Fire,
But my noble works provoked the god's ire.
Spared from Death to live in shame,
History will know history starts with my name.
The conquest must begin afresh,
Proclaimed by the victim of glowing flesh.
Indelible is the god with no foe
Worthy to face him and ravish him with woe.
The might of the world is not one but two;
To you, I pledge myself, Kindly V-A-A-T-U.
Into torpor we were cast by the god,
Who deceives and smothers, a feeble fraud.
The god must despair and fall into strife;
My recompense for his slights shall be Life."
Aang sighed. "Well, you know his name—but never say it. We're going to need the Order for this, Iroh."
Uncle only nodded in agreement. "Of course. But you do not need my permission to summon the Order of the White Lotus, Avatar Aang. The Avatar is the founder of our Order and the sole commander of our legions, and he always will be."
Azula's brows rose in surprise, having known of the existence of the Order based on several things Zuko shared with her while she was in her cell. That had been something that she had never heard before, and based on the expressions on everyone else faces, even Zuko's, they all felt the same as she did.
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant raised his hand. "So, this presence, this spirit is Dark, and we need the Order's help to face him because he's that powerful, correct?"
Aang looked lost in thought, so Azula nodded. "Yes."
"I wasn't asking you."
"I am the only one capable of answering as Aang is clearly ruminating," she replied.
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's face darkened with rage. "You know nothing about, Aang."
"She knows me enough to answer a simple question," Aang snapped in interruption.
Azula felt a feral smile cross her face. "Do not subject me to your petty disdain, peasant-bitch."
"You don't get to talk to her like that!" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant snapped, face reddening with rage; his eyes glinted with scorn, matching his sister's. "What the fuck is she doing here? Seriously, why is she here? We don't need her! Aang, you returned, so you can handle it without this bitch trying to kill any of us! We don't need her! In fact, we don't even fucking want her!"
"She's probably here to gain insight into our plan, so then she can warn her father." The Water Tribes peasant-bitch's eyes were filled with triumph, and Azula had to narrowly refrain from shooting lightning at her; she felt serene enough now! "Once a monster, always a monster. She's still the same—nothing's changed!"
Zuko's golden eyes burned like Father's; his fists clenched near his bottle of firewhiskey. "No, nothing has! You're judging a situation you know nothing about! Just like you judged me without ever imagining my side of the story, you judge Azula! No matter what she's done, my sister is the Fire Princess, born of the same blood I am. I'm giving her a chance, and so should you. I have more reasons to distrust her than anyone in this room! She's hurt me more than any of you!"
"An insane Fire Princess," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch snapped, and the water in several of the glasses began to rise, swirling violently; Azula felt her flames dance across her fingers in response. "Or do you forget so easily what she is? You're only giving her a chance out of familial duty! And don't you dare try to compare your pain to ours!"
"You don't get a say in this!" her brother roared, jumping to his feet and slamming a flaming fist on the table, which cracked ominously.
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch gasped in outrage. "I don't get a say? I don't get a say? Who was it who beat her? Who was it who picked up the pieces every time when she unleashed her evil? I have more a say than anyone!"
Suddenly, an unbearable piercing sound whistled through the air, and Azula—and everyone else, she dimly noted—winced before the sound was gone, leaving a stunned silence.
All eyes turned to Aang, who looked resigned but irritated. "You don't have more of a say than me—none of you do. I want Azula here, and here she will stay. Accept it or leave."
Toph looked disgruntled but impressed. "Damn, Twinkletoes. You went and got a lot more Earthbender-y."
"Aang," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch whispered, looking betrayed and incapable of understanding, staring at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. "How can you say that? She shot you with lightning; she almost killed you."
Aang's eyes were hard, chilled with arctic ice; the sheer intensity made Azula herself feel condemned, and it wasn't directed at her. "I forgave her; I trust her. She's had many opportunities to kill me, but she hasn't made an attempt. She is interesting and fun—intelligent. She is complex. She has shown a fascination with Air, more than anyone else ever has. I didn't bring her here so you—so anyone—could blame her for everything that's happened; she's here so we can come to a common conclusion and so I could share several things with you. That's it, and that's all I want to talk about. All that matters is Dark, Ozai, and Kuei—nothing more. I don't want to hear another word about Azula. This is the last I want to hear of it."
Silence.
"So, Dark is responsible for all this," Suki said quickly. "What does that mean?"
"It means he is a powerful enemy," Aang replied, seemingly not bothered by the looks the Water Tribe peasant-bitch shot him. "And this powerful enemy already has a powerful ally in Ozai."
Uncle sipped his tea. "It is concerning that this has happened during King Kuei's madness."
"Do you think it's connected, Aang?" Zuko asked.
Aang placed his head in his hands, eyes directed at the table. "What were Kuei's terms?"
"Surrender Azula, or it's war."
"How shocking was it?"
"At the moment, shocking. But in hindsight, it's not. He's been building to this for years."
Aang nodded. "He has."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch hesitated. "Are you sure?"
"No one's lying, Sugar Queen," the blind Earthbender notified, voice almost kind.
"But is it connected?" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant demanded. "Could it be connected?"
"It could be," Aang answered after several moments. "If it is connected, it's brilliant. I'm afraid it could be connected because it would be so perfect. It's how every spirit's power works."
Azula narrowed her eyes. "Meaning what?"
"Yeah, Twinkletoes," the blind Earthbender barked. "Tell us!"
Aang closed his eyes and seemed so tired. "It could be that Dark is using the Earth Kingdom's hatred—really, the world's hatred—for the Children of Fire to strengthen himself. He's been imprisoned for ten thousand years, so that means he's, innately, very weak. He's building his power back up after Wan- "
"Wan?" Suki asked.
"The first Avatar," Azula answered.
"- imprisoned him, but the problem is that I can't think of any conceivable way as to how he escaped from the Tree of Time. And the fact that he did escape from the Tree of Time means he has enough power; he doesn't need to heal himself to revive his strength. He shouldn't need the world's hatred of Fire to invigorate him."
"Is there someone who could have freed him?" the Water Tribes non-bending peasant asked. "Another spirit?"
"The only spirit who possesses the temerity necessary to do such a thing is the Face Stealer," Uncle said, voice thoughtful. "Would he free Dark?"
Aang sighed. "It would take someone of tremendous power, and Koh is of tremendous power. If anyone did free Dark, it's him."
Zuko groaned and rubbed his hand over his face. "And Dark's using the world's hatred for the Fire Nation to heal himself."
"Possibly."
"Well, that's just great!" The Water Tribes non-bending peasant threw his hands up sarcastically. "How the fuck do we stop that?"
Azula agreed but had to admit that it was genius, something that she would do if she had been in Vaatu's position.
"What do we do, Aang?" Suki asked.
"I'm going to travel to Ba Sing Se and speak with Kuei personally about this war," Aang said, voice darkening slightly as he stood to his feet. "He's going to end it. I'm leaving in the morning."
As he turned to leave, Azula stopped him, voice calm and curious; it carried through the air. "Do you think it is prudent to travel to Ba Sing Se when its king and top officials may all, potentially, be allied with Dark? What if my father is there with his awakened firebending?"
"I'll handle it."
"Lightning Psycho's right, Twinkletoes," the blind Earthbender cut in bluntly. "I wish she wasn't 'cause she doesn't deserve to be, but she's right. There's no way you're going to Ba Sing Se by yourself."
Aang stiffened, and power seemed to radiate off him as he looked back at everyone; his face was stormy. "That's not your decision to make."
"I'm still your earthbending Master."
"Is that a threat?"
"It's a fact," the blind Earthbender said. "You may be The Avatar, but I could kick your ass."
Suddenly, Aang sat on an airball, displacing himself from the earth; before anyone could react, the ground roared and lashed up at the blind Earthbender, who reacted just a moment too late. She was trapped in a cone of earth, and she struggled and thrashed intensely, face red with effort, hissing curses, but Aang's fists only clenched, tightening his hold before letting go.
The blind Earthbender burst out of the cone and stared at Aang like he was impossible, along with the other peasants.
Aang's face was blank, almost lost. "No, you couldn't. This is my decision, and my decision only. I go alone."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch swallowed, glancing at the blind Earthbender before focusing on Aang. "You shouldn't, Aang. We should all go."
"Absurdity," Azula judged, shaking her head. "For all that we know, Dark and my father are still in the Fire Nation. Everyone needs to stay here in case an attack is launched at my brother. Aang can handle himself."
"Then just me," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch stressed. "If I go, I could convince Kuei- "
"You're not going," Aang said flatly.
Zuko nodded. "Good call. Because she's more likely to take Kuei's side."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch whirled on Zuko in disbelief. "I said I was sorry! I didn't know what I was talking about! I was trying to make a good impression!"
"And you succeeded," her brother snapped. "Kuei gushed all about you after you left."
"That's not- "
"And you broke off your betrothal," Zuko reminded pointedly, and Azula's interest rose when the non-bending peasant looked away, disgruntled. "Kuei won't be happy to see you. You can't go. You'd make it worse—because Kuei would find a way to blame me about the broken betrothal as he does everything."
"Aang, let me come with you," she tried, turning back to Aang, and Azula merely watched, curious. "I can help. It will be like old times- "
Aang looked taller. "You're not my mother, Katara."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch flinched and swallowed. "What about a friend?"
"You're not my friend, either; you're staying here."
Azula watched her brother glance at the Water Tribes peasant-bitch, and she rolled her eyes at his simplicity; Zuzu could never resist the impulse to be gallant and heroic for a girl. "Aang, perhaps if she writes a letter- "
"I didn't think she knew how to write," Aang sneered, and it looked wrong, and Azula realized she hated that expression on his face. "Where's the evidence she knows how, Zuko?"
The Water Tribes non-bending peasant's face flushed with brotherly rage. "Aang, can I talk to you?"
"No."
"Fuck your 'no'!" he shouted. "Listen here, almighty Avatar! You don't get to say that to Katara- "
Aang whirled on the Water Tribes non-bending peasant, and the air howled; Azula's eyes widened in joyful anticipation. Maybe she would finally see the glory of The Avatar State.
"The only reason I would ever heed anything you had to say is that you are the heir of Water, nothing more. Your opinion is meaningless—like this conversation and Katara's empty promises."
Azula almost applauded, but the Water Tribes non-bending peasant jumped to his feet, fists clenched, face twisting. "You've spent too much time in those damned Air Temples, Aang, filling your head with nothing but air and all the nonsense of the Air Nomads!"
She watched with bated breath as a white light flickered across Aang's eyes and tight fists before vanishing, and the air became oppressive, almost unbearable; there was a weight crushing against not only her but everyone, confining them in their places.
Aang squeezed his eyes shut. "That 'nonsense' is the only reason you're still alive. Those 'damned' Air Temples that I've spent years restoring are my home. You once said we're family, but you lied. That's the only explanation."
"We are family, Aang," the Water Tribes peasant-bitch stressed, desperation on her face.
"What happens in the Water Tribes when someone betrays family?"
"That's not- "
"I know what happens!" Aang snapped, voice like a lash. "You leave the 'traitor' out to the mercies of the ice and snow or just push the traitor off into the ocean. But I don't do that to you, the betrayers of family. Because we were never a family. Otherwise, if we were, I would kill you. I know Water's culture about such things, but I don't care about any of it; it's all an excuse. What I care about is Air, and I know that if I killed you traitors Gyatso would be ashamed of me. That Air Nomad 'nonsense' saves your lives, which don't seem worth much. It should have been you that Sozin slaughtered, not my race."
Silence.
Aang looked at everyone, even Azula. "I don't want to hear another word. My judgment is the only one that matters in this; it is my decision. I hate The Avatar, but I am The Avatar, and none of you should speak when I speak. All of your emotions from the Great War are clouding your decisions and thoughts about Azula—and other things. And Azula's family is willing to overlook certain things potentially. I've spent months with her and can safely say that she won't betray me or kill me. This is what's going to happen—I will travel alone to Ba Sing Se while the rest of you stay here, guarding the Caldera and Zuko against a potential attack by Ozai and Dark. Maybe Ozai has his firebending returned and seeks the Dragon's Throne once again, vanquishing his rival. He would strike at Zuko if given the opportunity, and, with me gone, that's a perfect occasion." His gray eyes focused on the water peasants. "You're going to control your emotions while I'm gone. Azula will stay with you to help defend Zuko. And no one will harm her. If you harm her, she's free to defend herself in any way she can conceive. And I'll be angry if you do harm her—very angry. And if you ever refer to my race as 'damned' or 'nonsensical' again, you may just find that you no longer have a race, either."
"What happened to you?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch breathed, looking distraught as the tears spilled down her cheeks.
"I grew up." Aang motioned for Appa and Momo to follow him as he exited. "I'm turning in for the night. If I see you tomorrow before I leave, I see you. If not, you heard my warning."
Aang was gone—and Appa and Momo, as well.
For several moments, reigned unchallenged until Azula interrupted it by applauding, too impressed by Aang's actions and demeanor to do anything else; she had to show her appreciation. "Avatar, indeed. Can you imagine if the Fire Nation faced that Avatar rather than the child one?" She sighed in lament, feeling a smirk stretch her face as she imagined it. "I think I would have switched sides as you did, Zuzu."
"What did you do to him?" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch demanded, shaking with the force of the fury shining in her burning, fiery blue eyes. "You did something- "
Azula raised a brow and trailed her hand down her chest seductively, brushing over each breast. "I did nothing except offer understanding—a shoulder to lean on, perhaps."
Suki's eyes narrowed in outrage, cheeks flushing. "You seduced him. It's so clear now."
"He is The Avatar," Azula drawled, delighting in the simmering rage on their faces; perhaps she could make them erupt, and Aang had given her his blessing to wield her creative liberties to their fullest extent. "All that power—is there anything like it? My father was right about one thing—he is the god."
The Water Tribes peasant-bitch looked scandalized while the non-bending peasant sneered. "That's all she's good for now, anyway—spreading her legs- "
Zuko stood to his feet, a deadly expression coloring his face. "Azula's done herself no favors here, but you're implying that she has no honor."
"She doesn't!" the Water Tribes peasant-bitch snapped, and Azula tensed at the severe insult.
"Zuko," Uncle warned, looking concerned. "None of them understand- "
"I could order your executions!" her brother roared. "To say a member of the House of Agni is honor-less is treason! It's an act of war! My threats don't hold the same weight as Aang's but listen. You are in my nation, my palace, and now in my very home. You have insulted my sister, the Fire Lord's sister, trying to shame the House of Agni, something unforgivable."
Uncle placed a calming hand on Zuko's shoulder, his expression never changing, whereas Mother glared at the peasants and Suki with an intensity that could melt all of the ice in both of the Poles.
"I think that all of our emotions are frayed by the news of Dark and my brother's possibly revived firebending," her uncle said sagely, voice calm. "If we aren't careful, this conflict could splinter us, dividing us against this powerful enemy."
Azula stood up, as well, recognizing that she should depart before the room became physically violent. "Aang had the right idea," she said, bowing mockingly to the peasants. "Perhaps I should join him."
Zuko groaned while the peasants seethed impotently. "Just go, Azula."
"I assume I will be in my old quarters."
Her brother raised his one eyebrow. "Do you honestly think that I would give you permission to return to your old quarters?"
Azula smirked. "Yes."
Zuko smiled slightly and waved her away. "Go ahead."
"Most benevolent, Fire Lord Zuko," she said, bowing properly. "Thank you."
"Whatever."
Shaking her head, she left the dining hall in pursuit of the shadows of her past, refusing to let them triumph over her.
"Azula!" She whirled around, hands alight with blue flames, but she faltered when she saw Mother approaching. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"
Wetting her lips, she snuffed out the flames. "What do you want?"
Mother's face was soft but proud in the light of Agni's dimming rays. "I wanted to ask how you are, but from what I have gathered and witnessed, you are flourishing."
Azula nodded her head slowly in confirmation. "Yes. I may feel better than I ever have."
"And Avatar Aang?"
"What about him?"
"He is not what I expected," Mother said slowly, clearly searching for something; Azula refused to give her the satisfaction. "He is… complex. Do you agree?"
Azula almost laughed. "Absolutely. His complexity is delicious."
"Did you 'seduce' him?"
Slightly surprised at Mother's bold approach, she smirked. "I did as long as it infuriates those peasants."
Mother nodded, and her hands twitched, fire sparking across her fingertips. "You must not listen to those emotional fools."
"I am listening to you."
"And I thank you for it."
"Maybe you deserve to be listened to—minimally, of course," Azula said. "Those peasants deserve nothing."
"I admire your restraint."
"They left Aang—The Avatar—like he was nothing, mere marketplace trash. One day, there were there, and the next day—gone."
Mother's eyes clouded with sadness. "You speak of me, too."
Inhaling slowly, Azula nodded. "I understand why you left, truly, but I also do not understand—and I think it will always be that way."
Tears glimmered in Mother's golden eyes. Azula, my precious daughter, I hope you know that whenever you are ready, if you ever will be, I will always be waiting."
"Understood, Mother."
Azula whirled around, not wanting to continue her conversation with Mother; she owed her nothing, nothing at all.
XxXxXxXxXxX
No matter how hard she tried, Azula could not sleep. Phantoms from the past lurked in every corner of her mind, mingling with Mother's words. And she could admit that there was a void in her mind because a certain Avatar was not asleep on her bedroom floor; she had grown use—too use—to his presence. So, she finally decided to give up after several hours of lying in her bed and stepped toward the secret passage, feeling a soft smile coat her lips at the onslaught of memories that flooded her mind.
When they were only children, she and Zuko used to always play in all of the secret passages, jumping out to try to scare the guards and servants. Her smile soon faded as she realized how long ago that time was, back when their family had not been a discombobulated mess, a mockery of what a family should be.
She put her heated hand to the wall and was rewarded when the door opened, and as she stepped inside, the door slid shut soundlessly. She summoned a small flame in her hand and walked through the tunnels, intent on finding Aang, not even trying to dwell on why she wanted to be in his presence; she was afraid of what she would find if she did.
After a few moments of consideration, Azula assumed that he would be stationed in Zuko's old room, the Crown Prince's room. Since her brother was now, undoubtedly, in the Fire Lord's quarters, the Crowned Prince's chambers were available. And The Avatar was a guest worthy of every honor possible, and plus, he was Zuko's best friend; her brother would try to accommodate his friend as best as he could.
Upon arriving at the panel leading to the Crowned Prince's room, she put her hand on the wall again, the stone cool against her fingers. After heating her palm, the door slid open, and she stepped through, unsurprised to see Aang standing on the balcony. The sight of Appa dozing on the floor, huge body snuggled against the wall did not shock her as much as it would have before.
"You should be resting," Aang said, voice drifting into her ears; he sounded worried.
She raised a brow, walking past the bed, noting that it had not even been slept in at all—he had been up all night just as she had been. "And so should you."
"Memories?" he asked quietly.
Quickly, Azula aligned herself next to him. "Something like that. I do not know how you lived at the Southern Air Temple for so long."
Aang laughed slightly. "Because I had good memories there; I was happy there; the best times of my life were there. Can the same be said of the palace for you?"
"No, but Ember Island can," she said coyly, smirking up at him. "You know how to make things enjoyable, Avatar. Your display against your old allies was sublime."
"I heard your applause after I left."
"It was well-deserved and earned," she defended. "You should have seen the expressions on their faces—it was brilliant. You can be intimidating when you want to be."
"I know."
"Would you really kill them?"
Aang shook his head. "No. I just said the worst things I could think of; I wanted to hurt them like they hurt me."
Azula nodded. "I would kill Mai and Ty Lee."
"I don't think you would."
She tensed. "I would."
Aang glanced down at her, gray eyes ancient. "Then why didn't you? You could have killed them after they betrayed you, but you didn't. Why?"
Azula shot a wave of blue flames into the air. "Well observed, Avatar," she commended begrudgingly.
"I always thought, out of anyone, they would understand or could understand more than anyone," Aang mused quietly, fingers carving the pattern of Air onto the metal of the balcony railing. "I thought they could understand my loss in some way because they put such emphasis on Family. But I was a stupid kid. How could they ever understand what it means to be without a family when they've always had a family? How could they ever understand Air when they refused to learn or ask? Nobody ever cared—until you."
"Air is fascinating."
"I wish others could see and recognize that, but no one seems to, carrying on without noticing that there is a fundamental imbalance; something is missing. No one registers that there was a former age where everything was beautiful, and no one realizes that we live in the wreckage of that age—because of Sozin. I wish others could bear that burden, but it's only my burden."
"Why?"
"There isn't a person alive who doesn't bear something," he replied after several moments, looking heavy. "We all have our sins; we all have our vices; we all have and face unpleasant realities, things we wish desperately, hysterically to change and fix, but we can't—because we're only mortal, even me. This is my burden, and I can't give it to someone else because someone else would never comprehend it."
"Which vice is yours?"
"Wrath. It's always there, lurking under my skin; all I have to do is tap into it. Sometimes I really want to. But I know I shouldn't—because if I tap into my wrath, I'll inevitably summon the wrath of every life I've ever lived. And that wrath would destroy the world."
Azula tried to imagine it but failed. "Zuzu's vice is lust."
"And yours?"
"Lust—not lust for flesh like Zuzu but lust for power."
"Which is why you nominated yourself for Mother of Air," Aang said, spacing his words, but his eyes were stern and reviling; he almost appeared cruel and harsh, brutal to look upon. "Right?"
Azula refrained from shuffling her feet. "Perhaps I enjoy the freedom you gave me."
Aang frowned, gray eyes narrowing into slits. "And by being my wife, the Mother of Air, it would give you all the freedom and power in the world- "
"No. Well, yes, but that is different. I want it for me- "
"Clearly."
"I want to help you as you have helped me," Azula said slowly. "I want to pay my lineage's debt; I want to do the honorable, reasonable thing."
"Reasonable?" he echoed, voice lurking with a hidden danger.
Azula raised one shoulder to shrug, refusing to back down; she knew her solution was, indeed, a reasonable one—the most reasonable one. "I believe so. Usually, a political exchange would be made by Zuzu to you for reparations for Sozin's crime. A marriage proposal to a beautiful princess would be a good beginning to such reparations. It would redeem Sozin's line of Sozin's crime. It is most reasonable. I would be your war prize."
She felt proud at such a thought—the war prize of The Avatar for Air's slaughter. It sounded delicious if not morbid.
Aang's eyes narrowed in distrust—and disgust, if she deciphered correctly, but she was unsure if she did. Currently, he felt impossible to know and understanding, holding himself at an impenetrable distance. How far away he seemed from the man she spent over five months with on that wonderful vacation. It produced simultaneous mourning, fascination, and determination in her. "There's something else. But I don't know what it is."
She inhaled slowly. "If I bring Airbenders into the world, would that inherent freedom in Air somehow pass onto me for I gave these Airbenders life? I delighted in our time on Ember Island; it was liberating, and you made it liberating. You, Air Nomad that you are, made it liberating. I do not want to lose that. If I give you Airbenders, nothing would take my freedom away because I would have those airbending children born of Air, who would be around me, liberating me. I nominated myself for Mother of Air for both our sakes."
"It's still absurd," he muttered, doing little to conceal his aversion and indignation.
"It was implausible," Azula admitted. "But you do not trust my intentions."
Aang was quiet for several moments. "It occurred to me that you may be seducing me to make you the woman who holds The Avatar's 'power of the world' in her hands."
She looked down at her hands, nodding, despite herself. "It occurred to me that I could do that, as well."
"Is that what you're doing?" he asked lightly, sounding like his mind was already made up—and she understood why it was.
Azula sighed. "I was at first. But things changed. You were right—you are both Aang and The Avatar. At first, for probably the first month, all I saw was The Avatar."
"You've never seen The Avatar, only your idea of The Avatar."
"I think I saw something close in the dining hall earlier," she tried half-heartedly. "But then I saw Aang, and I realized that Aang was the one who gave me that freedom, not The Avatar. The Avatar should destroy me, but Aang never would. It was Aang who made me fascinated about Air- "
"I don't know why you're fascinated with Air," he accused, voice sharp and biting—brutal as it pierced her flesh and slapped against her heart, wrapping around it with steely, icy fingers. "I don't know why you 'feel a substantial loss for someone—a race—you never met nor knew.' It seems like it's still all a trick, a ploy to tie yourself to me for all-time, to tie yourself to The Avatar's power, which you have spent many conversations trying to convince me to show you."
Azula tried not to wince at her rather obvious attempts on Ember Island to witness The Avatar State; it was something she still had to work on. "Air is unlike anything I have ever known," she replied, refusing to look at him, afraid at what he might see on her face and in her eyes. "I know Fire; I know Earth; and I know Water. I have experienced each of them. But Air? I have never experienced it until your vacation to Ember Island. And to hear you describe them and listen to their philosophy and enlightenment—I understand why you miss them and wish you could go back to a better age. Sozin feared The Avatar, but he also feared Air. If Sozin feared Air, inculcating in Fire a hysteria to slaughter Air, that alone confirms Air's greatness. Sozin feared no one, least of all Earth and Water; he thought them weak and ignorant. But Air? Sozin feared them so much he destroyed them—and he only was able to destroy them with the Comet. Without the Comet, no attack would have ever been successful."
Aang nodded, seeming appeased for the moment—but she knew it would not last. "I'm glad you realize that. You seem to understand that—and me—better than anyone else."
"My intellect is valuable."
"And so is your body," he drawled, letting her know exactly how ill-received her offer for Mother of Air was, "which you offer to me as Mother of Air."
"It is an option for you," Azula said, unsure of anything else to say, knowing she could not rescind her offer—she did not want to. "I am fond of you, of Aang, and I know that you are fond of me. We are both attractive; we would make beautiful children—a beautiful new race for you to adore and cherish. Whom would you rather be the Mother of Air? Me or a woman who could never keep up with you?"
Aang said nothing, frighteningly stoic, only staring into the night. A long silence followed.
She sighed. "Why do you not sleep?"
"I've been thinking."
Certainly about her nomination for Mother of Air, but she smiled slightly, hoping to pierce through his hostile defenses. "About?"
"Vaatu," he said, almost brusquely, but she watched him relax the moment a new topic of conversation was reached. She was learning quickly—or relearning quickly—that when it came to Air, about anything to do with Air, he was someone else—the very opposite of the man who shared that wonderful vacation with her on Ember Island.
"And Father confirmed his liberator's identity—'Kindly V-A-A-T-U,' indeed."
Aang nodded. "It's him. Even if that poem didn't confirm it, I know; I feel it."
"Can you feel him?"
"No," he answered, a slight frustration entering his voice. "That's part of why I'm still up. I meditated for a long time, stretching out my senses, trying to sense him—nothing."
"So, he's probably back in the Spirit World- "
Aang shook his head, looking solemn. "I don't think so. He's here in the Mortal Realm where Ozai could bend."
Azula felt a terror shoot through her like lightning. "Do you think his firebending has returned?"
"I don't know," he replied, a raw honesty in his voice, matching his face. "I don't know the process for how Vaatu would awaken his firebending."
Her eyes narrowed. "But you have suspicions."
"Yes. But even if he has his firebending, he must remaster it; it will take time."
"Not as long as you think," she murmured, remembering Father's sheer dedication and intensity; it was far beyond her.
Aang laughed, but there was something haunted in it. "I don't have all the answers, you know."
"Is there someone with answers, or do you have to discern everything yourself?"
He glanced down at her. "You may get your opportunity to see an Air Temple."
"Really? But how does that- "
"I know someone who could be helpful, and he lives at the Eastern Temple, but the last time I spoke with him, it didn't go well."
Azula's brows rose. "That bad?"
"I may owe him an apology."
"You were born at the Eastern Temple, correct?"
"And so was Appa."
"It will balance out," she said with a smirk. "You have seen the place I was born, and I shall see the place you were born."
Aang chuckled lightly. "If we go. I haven't decided yet."
"I trust your judgment, regardless."
"You're a lot smarter than the others."
She stood taller in pride. "Thank you."
"You should go to sleep."
"So should you."
"Maybe, but sleepless nights are familiar—too familiar."
Azula frowned. "You slept on Ember Island."
He looked up into the sky. "Because I could be Aang; now I'm The Avatar."
She followed his gaze to the Moon. "Can you see her? The Princess of the North?"
Aang nodded. "She looks the same as she does every night—like the last time I saw her living. But it's not her at all; it's Tui wrapped in her form. There is nothing 'Yue' about her but her appearance."
"Do you see Agni?"
"No, he's different. He's still a spirit-spirit. Remember the Ocean and the Moon sacrificed their immortality to enter the Mortal Realm?"
Azula remembered, closing her eyes in understanding. "Because Kirku asked them to—to help restore Water."
"Yes."
"Can you sleep now?"
"No. Vaatu's existence keeps me up; knowing he's out there, already secured himself Ozai, it's terrifying. And I have to go to Ba Sing Se and confront Kuei—it's not going to be a pleasant experience. I suspect I'm going to have few pleasant experiences until Vaatu is dealt with."
Azula decided to end his misery. "Well, I could not sleep for another smaller reason. I considered our tentative plan, and I decided to alter it."
Aang turned to look at her, surprised. "I didn't give you the authority to do that."
She waved him off, confident. "I am going with you to Ba Sing Se."
Suddenly, he did not look tired. "No, you're not."
"Why not?" Azula asked calmly. "I would be most helpful."
"At making it worse! You're staying here with the others- "
Azula only smiled. "Those peasants will try to kill me."
"No, they wou- "
"They would. I still require your devotion as my bodyguard."
Aang's face was carved with obstinance, and Azula knew she had much work to do to convince him; she basked in the challenge. "You can defend yourself against them."
"But I would prefer to go with you, no matter how thrilling it would be to revive my supremacy in their minds."
"Why?"
She shrugged. "The last memory they have of me is of a princess who lost her mind- "
"No, why do you want to come to Ba Sing Se?"
Azula pounced, knowing logic was on her side—as it usually was throughout her life. Except for the insanity, of course. "It would give you a tactical advantage over Spineless Kuei, who will be initially overjoyed to see that you are 'on his side,' provoking his arrogance and the softening of his guard. You will learn more that way; he will respond more if I am there. And I want to see again the city I once conquered. And I wish to remain with you."
Aang raised a brow. "To preserve your freedom."
"I am actually fond of you, you know," she emphasized. "I like your presence."
"Kuei's going to kill you."
Azula scoffed and decided to stretch the truth. "And so would your old allies. Where do I have a more complete chance of survival? Despite my confidence, that peasant-bitch is powerful, and she is descended from mighty Waterbenders. It took Grandfather himself to kill her grandfather. And she hates me with all the passion I hate my father. But in Ba Sing Se, you will be there. Kuei would never risk your wrath."
Aang looked amused suddenly. "You hold a high opinion of yourself."
"I am worth every bit of your wrath," she replied haughtily, smirking slightly at the expression on his face; she dared to place a hand on his tense arm, triumphant when he did not brush her away. "So, where would I be most safe?"
"On Ember Island," he responded immediately.
She rolled her eyes, unable to stop the small smile stretching over her lips. "Clever—but no. We both know that it is not an option. Would I be safer with you or with the peasants?"
"Your mother, uncle, and brother would be with you here."
"Yes, they would, but the peasants would still attempt to kill me; my family is nowhere near as threatening or scary as you, The Avatar himself."
Aang finally huffed, shaking his head. "Ba Sing Se—most of the Earth Kingdom itself—wants your head on a molded pike, Azula. You place a lot of confidence in me to keep you safe."
Azula smirked, eyes roaming him. "It is most deserved; you fulfill it in every way and more. No one, not even Spineless Kuei, would attempt to try to kill me with you there. And the Earthbender will join us to- "
Apparently, she had underestimated Aang's fury with the blind Earthbender, for he scowled, gray eyes darkening into storm clouds. "No, she's not, Azula." His voice was as close to an order as he had ever said to her. "And no, neither are you. I'm going alone, and that's final."
She sighed aloud as she realized that all of the coaxing work that she had achieved beforehand just disintegrated like rocks under an Earthbender's fury because she had pushed him too hard. Knowing that Aang's Earthbender within him was shining through, Azula decided to try a different approach instead.
"I know that you are furious with them, truly and reasonably, but you do not hold much anger toward the Earthbender, do you?" At his incredulous look, she amended her words: "Okay, you are angry at her, and you have every right to be, but is the anger that you feel toward her less than the fury you feel toward the water peasants?"
"I suppose," he said quietly.
"See? Take her with us; she will be useful. If Dark is there with my father, along with all those Dai Li agents and powerful Earthbenders, we need someone else. I am still not to my peak capacity, unfortunately."
She almost felt sympathy for Vaatu, who was trying to revive his strength after almost ten thousand years of imprisonment. Since she still had difficulty over five months after her 'escape' after eight years of languishing in her cell, she could not imagine Vaatu's displeasure.
The expression on Aang's face made her curiosity to see the Avatar State almost overwhelm her as he nodded. "She'll help me stay calm if nothing else. But only her—no one else."
"Of course."
"You should go to sleep."
Azula smiled innocently. "But I shall miss you," she replied sweetly, knowing that there was more truth in that statement—confession—than she wanted to admit. Upon seeing his raised eyebrow, she sighed. "There are too many memories here," she whispered.
He nodded and placed his hand on her shoulder; it was gentle and warm. "It's okay to feel unsettled," he murmured, voice kind. "It's okay to- "
She wanted to snap at him, but she found she did not have the energy, suddenly feeling severe bouts of exhaustion. "Not everyone believes that, Aang."
"If you are coming with me to Ba Sing Se, you need your sleep."
"I shall sleep on Appa during the trip."
"No, you won't."
She frowned. "Yes- "
He grinned, suddenly resembling who he was on that vacation to Ember Island. "Not with Toph talking your ears off. And it was your idea to bring her."
Azula's face pinched, but it was only for performance; she felt great relief seeing the man from that vacation. "I suppose it is only fair I face repercussions for committing such an unpardonable sin."
"Exactly."
"What about you? You need to rest before facing Spineless Kuei and possibly my father."
Aang only waved her off, gesturing behind him. "No, I don't; I'll be fine. But we can reinstate our arrangement—if you want."
Azula looked up at him in disbelief. "You want to sleep on the floor?"
He laughed. "I wasn't going to sleep anyways. Sleepless nights are familiar to me. The bed's all yours."
She refused to name the feelings that bubbled within her at his suggestion. "Thank you, Aang," she whispered. "You are benevolent."
"I'm aware," he said with a straight face and pulled her to the bed, and the moment somehow felt intimate.
Azula fell onto the blankets with a relieved sigh; she was a lot more tired than she had thought. Looking over at Aang, who now sitting near her in the lotus position, she managed to infuse a warning in her words: "If you run off to Ba Sing se without me in the middle of the night- "
"It is the middle of the night."
"If you run off to Ba Sing Se without me after I fall asleep, I'll shoot you with lightning," Azula amended, warning clear in her voice. "I will feel serene enough to do it."
Aang laughed, glancing back at her. "I believe you. I'll leave in the morning with you and Toph. Goodnight."
Azula stared at him, the way his gray eyes softened, and felt foreign emotions brim inside her, and she smirked. "With me here, Avatar, it certainly is."
"Goodnight, Azula."
"Goodnight, Aang."
Sleep beckoned her, and the last thing she saw was Aang meditating, his presence more soothing than anything she had ever experienced.
XxXxXxXxXxX
His airbending alerted him when Azula's breathing evened out, and he knew that she had finally fallen asleep. Risking a glance, Aang stared at her, unable to look away from the smooth expanse of her skin. He had always known that Azula was strikingly beautiful and attractive, exotic in many aspects, but lately, especially since they had spoken with Avatar Kirku, he had begun to realize how utterly stunning and alluring she truly was. And not to mention her forward nomination to be Mother of Air. His gray eyes roamed over her body, and he wondered.
A knock at his door interrupted him, and he went to the door after checking to make sure Azula still slept.
It was a nervous-looking Katara.
Aang sighed in dismay but not surprise and turned to the Imperial Firebenders guarding his room. "Go to the corner of the hall and return when she leaves."
"Avatar Aang, Fire Lord Zuko ordered us- "
"Take a small break," he insisted, gesturing with his head. "I won't tell Fire Lord Zuko."
"And I won't, either," Katara assured quickly.
The Imperial Firebenders bowed. "As you wish, Avatar Aang and Princess Katara."
Aang watched them go to the end of the hall before finally looking back down at Katara. "What do you need?"
Katara swallowed and hugged herself. "I couldn't sleep."
"I see that."
She looked worried, and Aang resented it. "Did I wake you?"
"No."
"Do you want to talk?" she asked hopefully. "You always felt better after we talked."
Aang leaned against his doorframe, blocking any potential sight of Azula from Katara. "Why would I need to feel better? I feel great."
Katara hesitated. "You don't look great- "
"How would you know?" he asked, trying to refrain from snapping. "You don't know how I look when I'm happy or sad."
"I do know- "
"You used to know, but you mistake me for that boy you knew." Aang felt his features twist, and he didn't care to prevent the reaction. "I'm not that boy anymore; I don't need a mother."
Katara sniffed and wiped some stray tears from her eyes. "I don't know what to do, Aang. I made a mistake—many mistakes—and I want to fix them."
"You don't fix them; you can never fix them. Only time fixes them."
"Has it been enough time- "
"No."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, forlorn. "I know it means nothing, but it's all I have; it's all I can offer."
Aang remembered Gyatso and felt mournful. "Gyatso once said to me: 'Everyone of all the nations, born of each element, depends on apology and forgiveness. When you apologize for your error, you sacrifice your pride. When you forgive someone, you sacrifice your resentment. That is how you reach unity between the two parties; both sides sacrifice something that each cherishes deeply and, perhaps, provides identity and definition for each side. There is not a more challenging nor difficult commitment than forgiveness, the hardest trait by which to live, but beautifully and intentionally, there is nothing more powerful than forgiveness.' That's what he would always tell me."
Katara swallowed. "That's beautiful."
"He was beautiful. I wish he were here more than anyone. He would know what to do, and he would guide me like he always did." Aang focused back on Katara, something dark thrashing inside him. "I'm not ready to sacrifice anything for you. I don't want unity with you."
"You forgave Ozai- "
"I spared Ozai. I've not forgiven him—because he will never apologize."
Katara's breathing wavered, but she nodded. "And you won't forgive me even though I've apologized."
He felt pitiless, unmoved by the tears he saw in her blue eyes. How many tears had he shed in the years since the Great War ended, alone? It was astronomically more than anything Katara was ever capable. He had to weep for the loss of a race—his race—while Katara just had to weep for the loss of her mother, if that. The comparison was an insult to his soul. "I can't find it within me right now to forgive you."
Those tears spilled down her cheeks, and her face spasmed with emotion. "Will you ever?"
"I don't know."
She squeezed her eyes shut, and agony blossomed across her face. "I failed you, Aang, and I'm sorry; I'm sorry for everything; I'm sorry I left; I'm sorry I left you; I'm sorry I confused you with that kiss; I'm sorry I didn't write you; I'm sorry that I was weak; I'm sorry that I was a coward; I'm sorry that I broke our new family; I'm sorry that I wasn't the mother you needed; I'm sorry that I made you go through everything you've had to do alone; I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you restored the Air Temples; I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you with everything you needed help with; I'm sorry that you had to deal with being the last of Air alone; and I'm sorry that I made you resort to finding 'solace' with her."
Aang remembered those blue eyes from the Great War, but he was not that boy from then. "Why did you never ask about my race?"
Katara blinked in surprise. "What?"
"During the Great War, you never asked me about Air?" He wanted to reach out and shake her for answers, gripping her shoulders and wringing her, but he refrained. "Why? Why?"
She hesitated. "I never wanted to remind you of what—who—you had lost. It seemed cruel to ask about them. I didn't want to hurt you."
He nodded. "I'm sure that was your motivation, but you didn't live your motivation. Every time I ever talked about them, you and Sokka would scorn it—scorn Air's philosophy and enlightenment. When I advised you with their advice, refined over millennia, you rejected it, thinking it stupid and childish."
"That's not- "
"It was on your faces!" Aang hissed, clenching his fists. "My race was grand and beautiful, closest to Heaven! And you emotional and unenlightened children dared to mock the wisdom of the Ages! For thousands of years, Air's teachings were refined evermore for every generation, pursued by striving monks and nuns who adored Truth and the beauty of Life! They had everything figured out, and you thought them weak!"
"No! I never- "
The ground rumbled slightly. "It was on your faces! It's always on everyone's faces! 'Sozin crushed Air in a single day because they were so weak. They must have deserved it for being weak; they could never survive a war, unlike Water, Earth, and Fire—the superior elements. We endured for a hundred years while Air couldn't last a single day—pathetic!' I know you've thought it before. Everyone has- "
"Not me!"
"Liar! I've thought it before! If I have, you have—and everyone else has."
"Aang- "
"Sokka calls the Air Temples 'damned'! He calls Air Nomad philosophy 'nonsense'! He feels that way about my race! He thinks they're weak—he always has! I saw it on his face. 'Because Water fights and can fight, we're strong, but Air was slaughtered in a single day—pathetic! They were weak.' But what no one understands is that Air was fully capable of fighting; we always have been! But Air chooses not to fight, liberating themselves from the feeble and petty impulses worshipped by the other nations! We pursued enlightenment for Truth! We adored Life and looked to Heaven for transcendence! We were content to exist and experience Life simply! But Sozin pulled us down from our holy joy!"
Katara rapidly shook her head, looking horrified. "Sokka didn't mean it- "
"Yes, he did! And you're just like him!"
"No! I don't think- "
"You watched your mother die, and that's a tragedy, but do you remember what you said to me all of those years ago?" His hands began to shake, the hall along with them; he held up a hand to the advancing Imperial Firebenders. While he may have helped Azula heal from everything and helped her, he hadn't helped himself, no one had. The wrath was still there, burning brighter and more fiercely than Sozin's Comet. "Do you remember what you said to me when I told you that killing your mother's killer would do nothing?"
Katara wavered. "You were stating proverbs- "
"Which you thought weak and childish!" Aang felt no mercy, and the memories awakened the slumbering Avatar State, tempting him with its primordial power—and wrath. "You said I didn't understand. I've never forgotten that. How dare you? I understand more than you can possibly fathom! I've lost everyone and everything to ever matter! You think this age is so great, but it's not! It reeks! It's poison! It sullies the memory of What Was, which is better than What Is. But you only lost your mother—and I lost my mother, too, when you left. You have no room ever to say anything. No, it's you who didn't understand then and doesn't understand now."
The pallor on her face did nothing to soothe him. "I'm sorry."
"I don't want your apology."
Something hopeless crossed her face. "Then what do you want?"
The wrath cracked inside, followed by the floor beneath as the air howled around them. "I want Air back! I want Sozin's spirit obliterated from existence! I want The Avatar to die!"
Silence—filled only by the churning wind he manifested.
Katara's eyes were moist with tears, and she reached out. "Aang…"
He smacked her hand away. "You're not my mother nor friend."
She swallowed and nodded, face tight in an effort to restrain tears. "Can I do anything for you?"
Aang felt something vicious attack his restraint. "Tell Sokka that if he ever refers to my race as 'damned' or 'nonsensical' again, I'm going to throw him up into the skies and let him crash to the earth to his death."
Katara flinched, something horrified in her eyes, but she nodded again. "I'll tell him."
"Tell him exactly."
"Will I see you before you leave?"
"Probably."
Katara smiled in relief, but she still looked shaken. "Good."
"Goodnight, Katara," he said in dismissal.
She flinched but nodded. "Goodnight, Aang," she whispered.
Aang shut the door and exhaled roughly before looking back at Azula; he tensed when her golden eyes peered at him from the bed.
"No Avatar State," Azula observed softly.
He sighed. "Were you awake the whole time?"
"No. What was that about a kiss? Do I have competition for the Mother of Air?"
"Years ago," Aang dismissed in a hiss, infuriated at her audacity for daring to lay claim to the sacred position. "And you have competition with every girl and woman who's ever offered herself to me."
Her golden eyes gleamed in the dim light. "I love competition."
He turned her away, afraid if he kept looking at her, at the beauty she presented, he would loosen his fury, which was unacceptable. He had to keep Air pure, and Azula was anything but pure. He had to think about Air—always. "Go back to sleep—now."
She remained staring at him for several long moments—he felt it. "Will you be alright?"
"Yes."
Azula hummed. "I choose to believe you—because I am benevolent."
"You learned by watching me."
He heard the smirk in her voice. "You are most delightful, Avatar."
"I learned that by watching you."
"Oh, and charming, too. I wonder what else I shall discover about you."
"Goodnight, Azula," he stressed with a sharp warning. "Go to sleep."
Azula did very quickly, and he felt it with his airbending. He watched her for several long moments, observing her peaceful, lovely features. He couldn't wrap his head around her bold nomination to be Mother of Air. Why would she want that burden? Why was she, heir of Sozin, fascinated with Air? Her claims about Air's freedom were more than true, but there was something more to it all, and he wasn't sure what to do. He was very fond of her—and attracted to her, of course—but would she betray him like everyone else but Zuko had? Or would she be like her brother? But Azula and Zuko resembled each other most minimally—besides the vice of lust, hers for power and his for flesh.
What game was she playing? Because it couldn't be true; it couldn't happen—ever. He had to preserve Air as best he could, and if he accepted Azula, it ensured Sozin's sabotage was completed forever.
Aang shook his head and sat back down in his meditation, closing his eyes; his mind calmed as he dove into the deepest depths of his soul, searching. He needed to speak with Wan, to know what his first life thought about the situation. Traveling past dozens of Avatars, past Kirku, he went as far as he possibly could and breathed life into the First.
A man appeared before him with shaggy black hair and smiled at him. "Hello, Avatar Aang, I am Avatar Wan."
He observed the man who became the first Avatar, ascending to godhood. "You know why I summoned you, Avatar Wan."
Wan's easy smile slipped off his face, revealing severity. "Vaatu escaped from the Tree of Time."
"Do you have an idea as to how he escaped?" Aang asked in desperation. "He couldn't have done it himself, right?"
"He needed help," Wan confirmed, ethereal fists clenching, and Aang felt the action in his soul. "And only a Great Spirit could have possibly freed Vaatu from the Tree."
Aang closed his eyes. "Koh freed him."
"All the evidence points to him."
"And I have to put Vaatu back in the Tree of Time."
Wan nodded. "That would be ideal, but I doubt Vaatu would fall for that trap again."
"Then I'll have to destroy him from existence- "
"You cannot destroy him," Wan interrupted, voice old. "Light and Darkness—yourself and Vaatu—always exist forever. Even when in the Tree of Time, Darkness still existed, and humans sought out the Darkness to find meaning, for the Light failed to provide it to them. Light and Darkness cannot exist without each other; they survive off each other, two halves of an impossible, incomprehensible whole. We wish for only Light, but Darkness still exists—and it will forever."
"I hate that."
"I don't know the reason, and no one does. Only the Tree knows; It is the Father and Mother of All."
Aang chuckled to conceal his bitterness, but Wan seemed to see right through it. "Maybe I'll ask It one day."
"Do you possess such temerity?"
"Not yet, at least. But the only option is to put Vaatu in the Tree."
Wan looked solemn. "I capitalized on Vaatu's arrogance and non-understanding; he could not conceive that I would become The Avatar, that I was willing to drink the Tree's sap and travel across It's roots into the Void of Eternity, destroying myself and reviving myself simultaneously forever until the Ascension. When I fought Vaatu again, I beat him easily, for he was unprepared. But he has waited for over nine thousand years for his vengeance; he has planned it. He is prepared; he will never allow you to imprison him in the Tree again."
Aang placed his face in his hands. "What do I do?"
"I don't know. This is your burden, Avatar Aang, and it is more severe than mine or any other Avatar's, for you face a prepared and vigilant Vaatu."
"Why now?" he asked, feeling hysterical. "Why not when the actual Harmonic Convergence happens? It's not for- "
"I don't know, but it is happening. He escaped, breaking the cycle of Harmonic Convergence. You must not let him break The Avatar Cycle, too."
Aang glanced behind him at Azula, who was thankfully asleep. "I can't do it."
"Yes, you can. Because I am you, and we will never stop for all our lifetimes. This is the burden we were born to bear- "
"It's the blight we were born to bear," he corrected bitterly. "I would trade places with you if I could."
Wan's eyes crinkled. "And I would never accept it—because I do not want your burden."
Aang rubbed his arrow on his forehead, ignoring his hair. "Just… just tell me what you can. Was there a clear difference after you defeated Vaatu? How did you achieve balance?"
"For the rest of my long life, I dedicated myself to achieving balance, but I'm not sure I ever succeeded."
"What do you mean?"
Wan looked grim. "There was so much light after I imprisoned Vaatu. At first, it was wonderful; for a long time, it was wonderful. But then it wasn't. People started conflicts to feel something again, to find meaning."
Aang swallowed. "Because peace belies mortal nature," he whispered, remembering Gyatso's wisdom. "It leads to boredom—a dangerous thing."
"The Darkness is tantalizing and intriguing. You feel it," Wan said almost casually. "You are likely The Avatar who feels the Darkness the most—and not because Vaatu has escaped."
"Because Light cannot exist with Darkness, and Darkness cannot exist without Light," Aang realized. "I rely on Vaatu, and Vaatu relies on me."
"You are connected; Light and Darkness are connected."
"And it's possible for me and all Avatars to feel the Darkness, even act in accordance with it, because it's all connected."
"Yes."
Aang scowled. "I will speak with the Tree of Time about this."
Wan smiled at him. "Good luck, Avatar Aang. I know you will deal with Vaatu and secure peace; you are stronger than you know, my friend."
He closed his eyes in defeat as Wan dispersed into his body, knowing that there would be no way that he'd be able to sleep tonight, especially since the Gaang was in the palace.
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**Azula fully opens up to Aang and reveals quite a lot. We all knew that Iroh was a different man before Lu Ten died, as shown in the episode Zuko Alone. If you remember, he had written a letter to Ursa about his siege on Ba Sing Se – "I hope you all may see it someday, if we don't burn it to the ground first!" And he was shown laughing when he wrote that. That little scene actually reveals quite a bit about Iroh's former personality, and based on the little tidbits we were fed in the show, it seems well likely that he was feared through the entire Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. And I know that it says in Canon that Sozin, Azulon, and Ozai were the ones who had all tried and failed to find the Avatar, but to me, at least for this story, that doesn't make sense. Azulon hated Ozai and would never send him off for a chance for his second son to receive glory, and plus, Iroh was the one who traveled all over the world. It was shown that he knew the Air Temples, so he must have been there before, decades before Zuko, trying to find the missing Avatar, too.
Yes, I don't think that Ozai was a prodigy-like character as Azula was—and Aang, too. We know that Azulon was a prodigy, and I'm pretty sure that Iroh would be classified as such, as well. But Ozai was a late-bloomer just as Zuko—like father like son. And Ursa, who, in this story, is a Firebender, and she was a prodigy. Ozai loved her so fiercely because she was everything that he wanted to be, at least in firebending.
I know I changed some of the origins of the characters, such as Bumi by making him the Scourge of Fire and augmenting his presence in the Great War, but Bumi has so much potential! He survived the Great War when all of Aang's old world didn't for a reason—there must be a reason! And it's because Bumi's such a hateful badass! He hated Fire so much he refused to die to spite them and wanted to avenge Air and Aang's deaths (presumed death, in Aang's case) as much as possible. And it really adds some parallels with Azulon, who only continued the Great War out of obligation to his father, whereas Bumi fought in the Great War out of obligation to his desperation to make Fire pay and avenge Air's demise. Also, I added their fight scene because why not? Bumi was shown to be massively powerful, and there's a reason why he survived the Great War—because he's that powerful. And Azulon is Azulon, Sozin's son, a prodigy, and they duked it out man-to-man. They both failed in their objectives. Bumi's goal was to assassinate Azulon, and Azulon's goal was to end Bumi's menace. Both failed. It's poetic. And we weren't really given any mention of Kuzon, so I added the tidbit about him because it shows that Aang's old friends weren't passive about the atrocity that happened; they were proactive and did what they could to avenge Aang and Air. And considering how close both Kuzon and Bumi came to assassinating the Fire Lord (Kuzon to Sozin and Bumi to Azulon), they were/are some dedicated and powerful friends. Really, there is so much story to tell about the Great War, and we get very little about it, and I think Aang's old friends would be in the heart of it, just like Aang's new friends in Sokka, Katara, Toph, and Zuko were in the heart at the end of the Great War.
Balance, right?
Okay, I really wasn't a fan of the fact that Katara was descended from all these non-benders, so I wanted to change it to make things more realistic and add more social presence to Katara's lineage, making her a woman realistic of the King of Ba Sing or other rulers, who possess ancient, renowned pedigrees. Because, in the end, lineage matters a lot—it's always the deciding factor. It's truly how legitimacy is established, and everyone wants legitimacy. Blood is the means of legitimacy, and Katara must have it. So, Katara's grandfather (Hakoda's father) was a powerful Waterbender, and Kanna came from the North, meaning her family was likely a waterbending family. Why else would Pakku want to marry her? I think love is far too simplistic a reason for a man as traditional as Pakku in a culture in which marriage meant advancement. If you want, Pakku initially sought out Kanna because of her lineage, but then he fell in love with her afterward, but she knew the true reason why he wanted to marry her, which is why she left for the South. In the North, marriage is a social weapon to augment lineages, seen primarily in Arnook forcing Yue to marry Hahn. And why else was Kanna able to afford to run away? She's a non-bender who sails across the ocean alone during the middle of the Great War. Please. She had money because of her eminent lineage full of Waterbenders, and she had several Waterbenders accompany her to the South, all of whom were paid most generously for their 'treason'. And maybe those Waterbenders settled in the South. Who knows?
If you want a genotype to map it out, think of it like B=bender and N=non-bender. Kanna possesses both genes ("B" and "N") coming from an eminent Water family who produces powerful Waterbenders. Kanna was a non-bender, but she had plenty of waterbending blood to pass on. When she met Katara's grandfather, who was the South's chief, a powerful and cunning Waterbender, enough of a treat that Azulon himself had to finish him off, she produced Hakoda, a non-bender. That reveals that, likely, Katara's grandfather possessed the "B" and "N." Hakoda marries a non-bender in Kya, who has her own lineage and likely a few Waterbenders up the older preceding generations of her family tree, and their union produces a non-bender in Sokka and a Waterbender in Katara (because Hakoda and, likely, Kya had the waterbending lineages necessary to yield a Waterbender like Katara). And don't even get me started on how powerful Katara is shown to be in the series—well, I'm getting started. It's absurd that a non-bender descended from generations of non-benders could be as powerful as Katara, able to defeat Zuko and Azula, both of whom are descended from Avatar Roku—a literal Avatar— and Fire Lord Sozin, Fire Lord Azulon, and Fire Lord Ozai, along with all the previous Fire Lords, who rule over a nation that worships Power. If Katara was actually descended from generations of non-benders, Zuko and Azula would easily defeat her every day of the week and twice on Sunday, and Katara would be nothing special and be unable to train Aang in waterbending. None of it makes fucking sense unless she has a lineage to match her accomplishments and capabilities.
Because there must be a basis for Katara's prodigious qualities—just like it's shown in other characters in the show. Azula's prodigiousness has its source in her lineage, and Ozai calls her as gifted as Azulon. Don't worry—Toph isn't some magical prodigy, either; she has a lineage that warrants her prodigiousness. How else do you think the Bei Fongs became so renowned for their riches? EARTHBENDING! They delved deep into the earth and secured themselves rare materials. Both of Toph's parents in the show are shown to be non-benders, but some of Toph's grandparents were likely Earthbenders, for the Bei Fongs are still incredibly rich—and likely profit extensively from the happenings of the Great War—during Toph's time, meaning that the displacement away from the Earthbenders who secured the Bei Fong fortune is minimal, probably Toph's grandparents. And Aang is The Avatar, which doesn't need an explanation. But I'm going to give one anyway because I think it goes beyond him being The Avatar. I think if you are to bear The Avatar, nurture him in your womb and whatnot, you must be incredibly spiritual, which, for an Air Nomad, means a powerful Airbender. So, Aang's mother was likely very powerful. And it's also likely, I think, that his father, whoever he was, was very powerful, too. Air Nomads are more attuned to balance, for they are more spiritual. If such a nun is so spiritual that she is able to carry The Avatar it only makes sense that she would choose a man to lay with who was of similar spiritual quality/capability as her, which, again, means a powerful Airbender. It balances out.
I also changed some of the events in the Great War because the timeline, to me, wasn't making much sense. The fact that the North was just left alone for so long during the Great War after the first attacks is suspicious, and I've tapped into that by making the North isolationist, which actually works when you think about how rigid its culture is. But why was the South targeted so extensively—enough to only leave a single Waterbender by the time of Katara—when the North was left unscathed? It's because the North was, to be blunt, cowardly while the South was noble and entered the Great War, fighting viciously against Fire, allying with Earth. So, because the South is such a damned thorn in Fire's side, Azulon targets the South and defeats them when he's Crown Prince before going back to the Earth Kingdom to wreck shit there. But then the South revives its strength and re-enters the Great War, and Azulon, also fearful that Bumi will secure a permanent alliance with the South, returns his gaze to the South and depletes them to near-extinction (and he wasn't alone the second time; he also had Iroh. How else do you think that Iroh got to examine Waterbenders so closely as to mimic their moves and create the lightning re-direction technique? He had to be fighting them and killing them, seeing them very up close). So, about 40 AG (After Genocide), Azulon has enough of the South's temerity and wipes them out in, probably, two years. Then he does it again about thirty-five years later (75 AG-80 AG), and it takes five years the second time because the South is led by such a powerful and cunning waterbending Chief, who is Hakoda's father and Katara's grandfather. But throughout this, the Earth Kingdom endures the Fire Nation—because of Bumi, who cultivates a well-earned reputation as the Scourge of Fire because he's such a badass. There must be a reason why, initially, the Waterbenders were taken prisoner, and that later changed to extermination by the time of Katara, shown in The Southern Raiders episode. Well, Azulon (and Iroh, too) learned a lesson when it came to Water's adaptability. If there were still Waterbenders, the South would rise again and enter the Great War, causing Children of Fire to die. Trying to train Waterbenders for the Fire Lord's will was too risky, and it was established that The Avatar wasn't reborn into Water, so it was more prudent to exterminate.
I also changed things to emphasize the identities of the elements themselves. Fire is Power, meaning Fire has the advantage in the Great War, always defeating its opponents, correlating with the fact that Fire was GOING TO WIN THE GREAT WAR if Aang wasn't there. Water and Earth couldn't defeat Fire; the inevitable conclusion of the Great War was a Fire Nation victory—until Aang came in and put a stop to that shit. Earth is Stability, meaning resilient and stubborn, allowing Earth to endure Fire's onslaught for a hundred years. Water is Change, meaning that Water adapts and can thrive off change. So, when Azulon defeats the South the first time, the South, part of Water, can rebound within a single generation and start causing havoc for the Fire Nation all over again. And Azulon learns his lesson by ordering the extermination of the Waterbenders, leaving only Katara.
**Some OC Avatars! I find the idea of The Avatar fascinating if you hadn't noticed, so I intend to have Aang utilize his past lives a lot more than in Canon, especially when it concerns how Korra hardly ever communicated with her past lives, which then, as we all know, led to the end of the Avatar Cycle, which was such horseshit, to be blunt and critical. Suffice it to say, that won't happen in this story. I did change the Harmonic Convergence from the perfect alignment of all planets to the perfect alignment of all the stars. I was never a fan of how they added planets to the Avatar universe because, to me, it lessens the world's mysticism. So, I changed it to the alignment of stars because it makes sense in the type of world that Avatar is set in. Avatar Kirku is my own creation and I wanted someone, specifically a previous Avatar, who Aang could relate to. Kirku did face a similar problem to Aang regarding the Waterbenders, but it wasn't the same. Also, I wanted a viable way for the Ocean and Moon Spirits to sacrifice their immortality and end up in the Northern Water Tribe. Why would two of the ancient spirits in Avatar, two of the Elemental Spirits themselves, give up their immortality, the fundamental key to their power as spirits? It wouldn't have been 'out of the good of their hearts' because that's just stupid. Shoutout to gaara king of the sand for he came up with the great idea that the Water Tribes were near extinction because of a war where they were at a severe disadvantage (not enough water near them). So, Avatar Kirku does his duty as Avatar and relocates the Water Tribes to the North Pole and convinces Tui and La that it would be best if they give up their immortality to save their children, to save waterbending.
Okay, about the lifespans for Avatars, and everyone else. We all know in Canon that Kyoshi lived for over two hundred years (218 to be correct based on the original math/timeline), and I believe that this is because of chi. A bender has more chi than a non-bender, and The Avatar has more chi than anyone. This story, after much thought, will set the narrative around each Avatar Cycle, especially because Vaatu is involved, which is then 1,000 years, a millennium. So, each Avatar lives, on average, 250 years, which is close enough to how old Kyoshi was when Canon declares that she died. Just as I mentioned, I plan to use the Legend of Korra timeline, at least sort of, so The Avatar's existence begins 10,000 years ago, so there is only thirty-eight Avatars total in the Avatar Cycle thus far—because the next Fire Avatar will be the forty-first. The Avatar lives a long time, indeed, and it makes sense because of how Avatar: The Last Airbender treated the Avatar. I know Kyoshi living to be as old as she did is treated as this big deal, but it doesn't make sense; she's just an outlier. Why is she so special? Why does she, more than any other Avatar when it's shown she's done nothing but stop Chin the Conqueror and create the Dai Li, have such longevity? To be blunt, she's memorable but not awesome. She did nothing to warrant a sensible reason as to why she lives such a long time. She's an outlier that's never adequately explained, for if Kyoshi could live so long, why can't any other Avatar? There's nothing to suggest that Kyoshi is different from other Avatars, except for her outlook and perspective, which probably isn't actually all that rare and special—it's only different compared to her direct predecessor and direct successor. And by changing all the lifespan of The Avatar to be so short, it ruins the story of Avatar, I believe, especially since the creators refuse to change Kyoshi's age, stubbornly sticking to it even though it makes no sense anymore. But it seems that the creators are wanting to have their cake and eat it, too. You can't have it both ways. Either all Avatars have the capability of living as long as Kyoshi, or none do. And I think it's so much more mystical and mythical if The Avatar lives that long. I much prefer the original ages of The Avatar and benders, as depicted in the show.
The creators clearly lost consistency and retconned quite a bit, discarding what had already been explicitly stated in the show (i.e. Kuruk tried to kill Koh 900 years before Aang visited Koh, and Kyoshi was born 400 years before Aang visited Kyoshi Island). They didn't do the math on the timeline properly as they should have, but instead of going with it, they retconned it, which, as you can see, I disproved of. I thought it obliterated the "magic" of the world. It wasn't a sensible decision. Also, Roku's speech about "mastering the elements a thousand times in a thousand lifetimes, and now I must do it once again" to Jeong Jeong was hyperbolic; it's too specific and too exact a number, as in "a thousand times." It's not meant to be taken literally. And if I remember right, in Chinese philosophy, "a thousand lifetimes" means timeless or something like that. But don't quote me on that.
So, The Avatar lives on average 250 years out of a 1,000-year Avatar Cycle. Yes, some die a lot sooner than the 250 years average (Roku), and some live a lot longer (Kuruk). The reason Kuruk lived so long is because that's what the creators originally had it as before they retconned it. But when you take into account how long it takes to master elements normally (excluding Aang), The Avatar should live a long time, particularly with the strength of his chi. I love the idea of The Avatar living long lives because that's also part of The Avatar's burden. It makes The Avatar more mythical and legendary, more fantastical; it also makes The Avatar's death much more powerful, significant, and potentially catastrophic because an Avatar's death is very rare. So, for example, Roku was the start of the newest cycle, and he lived only 70 years (and it's shown how catastrophic his earlier death is), meaning that there are 930 years left for only three Avatars, extending the other Avatars lifespans.
Yes, Avatars outliving everyone is tragic beyond tragic, but that's also what, in my opinion, makes it beautiful. They don't get the happily-ever-after forever. They may get it for a few decades, maybe even a century or two, but not forever. I wanted to show that The Avatar, despite all the power in the world, carries a burden that is astronomical, and no one with a lucid mind would ever want that burden, despite all the amazing power. All Avatars, if given the choice, (besides maybe Kuruk, of course lol), would choose a different life. Losing everyone you ever knew on an intimate level is part of that burden—because the world is too chaotic and cannot be left without an Avatar's presence for long, necessitating a long lifespan. Sozin showed it, and there would be many others through the history of the Avatar world that showed it, too. Sadly, based on the lore, the world does need a babysitter, epitomized by Roku's death and Sozin's greed in his absence.
Also, the creators decided the 10,000-year existence a lot later in LoK; there was nothing to suggest that limit in ATLA. The statues in the Southern Air Temple numbered 181, making each Avatar's lifespan not even fifty-six years if taking into account the 10,000-year limit, and when taking into account Kyoshi's age, the average age is even lower than that. That low an age doesn't make sense because the world would then be without a fully-realized Avatar about half the time over those 10,000 years, based on how long it takes normally to master the elements, according to Roku's journey. It took him until just about thirty to become fully-realized, but the average death of an Avatar is at fifty-six? That's only around twenty-six years of an Avatar being able to do Avatar things for the world. That doesn't fly when taking into account how reliant the Four Nations have always been on The Avatar's presence. It also wouldn't compute with the Great War, because there surely would have been another Great War—or more—in the past with how often The Avatar isn't there to do Avatar things. Someone—a lot of people—would take advantage of that void.
Either way, by what the creators did, the lifespans don't make sense in the slightest, especially when someone like Pathik was in excellent health and shape at 150 years old—and he's not even a bender! If there weren't the 10,000-year limitation, and the average age for an Avatar is Kyoshi's age, then The Avatar has been around for over 45,000 years, making The Avatar more timeless. But 45,000 years is too long, I think. So I kept the 10,000-year limit and thirty-eight Avatars to exist limit. It makes things simpler and realistic, tying everything together nicely, specifically with the creators' original timeline for the world.
Okay, I changed a lot of the whole Wan, Raava, and Vaatu bit, but I retained the core characteristics. Wan was exiled and became The Avatar by fusing with Raava forever, destroying Raava in the process, and imprisoned Vaatu in the Tree of Time. That's pretty much all I kept the same—except for the destroying Raava bit, which I felt was necessary to convey the significance of the Ascension, among other things. Because in some ways, the whole first Avatar idea was the best of Legend of Korra, but it was also the worst in so many ways. I really LOVE the idea of Raava and Vaatu, but it was executed terribly and broke Avatar's fundamental rules. So, I changed things up by keeping the big events the same and changing all the little events. Also, Wan never severed Raava from Vaatu because that was so fucking stupid. How could a mere mortal interfere with a PRIMORDIAL spirit, able to cause harm in which Vaatu can escape? That's just absurd. And I took out the spirit portals because that ruins a lot, I think. As for how Raava makes Wan The Avatar, think of it like she's changing his frequency. A regular human has no frequency to the elements, but a bender has a frequency to a single element, and that can never change—unless Aang takes away the bending. However, Wan's frequency is to ALL of the elements because Raava is there, refining the frequency until it incorporates everything, making Wan—and all The Avatars—vulnerable to all the elements. Hope that makes sense. However, in the process of the Ascension, Raava sacrifices herself. There is no more Raava; there is only Wan, The Avatar—and all the lives he lives henceforth. Basically, for something so monumental, no one, not even Raava, can come out unscathed; a price must be paid always. Raava pays the price by knowing she's destroyed but going through with it anyway. Thus, since the moment of Raava's destruction, it is no longer Raava and Vaatu as two counterpoints; it is The Avatar and Vaatu. That is how things changed forever, which culminates inevitably in Vaatu rising against The Avatar.
**Azula nominates herself for Mother of Air! Okay, it was shown with Chan in The Beach episode that Azula was NOT smooth in the slightest, and although she's gotten quite a bit better, she still takes things too far. Of course, she follows a rational line of thought, but that doesn't work for something as significant and profound as the Mother of Air.
This Azula is different; she's not the girl who was so fearful under her father's thumb that she did anything he wanted, adopting a mask of arrogance and superiority—because that was the only way to survive her father. I know she seems a little strange, but I disagree. She's finding who she is without Ozai's shadow ever-present. She was never a sadistic person to begin with. I've read comments and stories where people toss around the word 'sadistic' blindly and declare Azula a sadistic monster, but she actually isn't one, not even a little if you actually think about it. There is no evidence from Canon that shows her taking pleasure in seeing people getting physically hurt (the smirk after shooting Aang in Ba Sing Se, I think, comes from the fact that she had triumphed over the Fire Nation's biggest threat to world domination), and we've never seen her harming innocent people—until her mind broke, that is, and that's a major difference.
Remember Bosco, King Kuei's pet bear? Azula—and what I think that most people would do in the situation—could have imprisoned the bear in a cage, or even killed the animal as a sacrifice for Agni, but instead, she ordered Mai and Ty Lee to guard Bosco. And in The Boiling Rock episode, she stopped the Warden, Mai's uncle, from torturing an innocent man. If she was actually sadistic, she wouldn't have cared about that man and let the warden torture him, but she didn't. Instead, Azula only needed to listen to the guy's explanation, and when she realized that he was telling the truth, she inadvertently saved him from being fruitlessly tortured by the warden.
And the most infamous example behind people declaring Azula sadistic: the scene in Zuko's flashback during Zuko Alone. First of all, it was Zuko who had harmed the Turtle Duck by throwing the rock, not Azula. His exact words were: "Hey, Mom. Want to see how Azula feeds Turtle Ducks?" And then, without waiting for an answer, he whips a rock at the Turtle Duck without hesitation. If you truly delve into the context of the scene, it can then be inferred that Azula did actually feed the Turtle Ducks but by throwing pieces of bread at it, but not with a rock like Zuko had so cruelly done. So, since Ursa didn't know that Azula threw pieces of bread for the Turtle Ducks to feed on, based on her reaction to Zuko's rock-throwing-incident, it is deftly clarified that Azula fed the Turtle Ducks when her mother wasn't there. (This is not my analysis; I read it somewhere, but I can't remember where it was. I didn't theorize it. Someone else did.)
So, when she finally gets the chance to be free with Air by being around Aang, she's, in effect, addicted to it, and she doesn't want it to end; she doesn't want to compromise it. What seems the surest way to ensure she retains that forever, especially for someone raised in a very political and social environment where arranged marriages are a thing? By proposing a marriage of convenience to Aang where he gets his Mother of Air, and Azula gets her freedom because she trusts Aang and knows he wouldn't ever force himself on her. And it helps that she's attracted to him, and she knows that he's attracted to her. Really, it's most logical—prudent, really. But, of course, Aang doesn't trust it fully because why would he? She's still Azula, after all, and she hasn't been as sly as she thought by asking about The Avatar's power so often and referencing seducing Kuruk if she could.
**Aang is quite callous and rude to the Gaang, but can you expect anything less? In this story, they abandoned him, a twelve-year-old boy, who was completely alone in the world. Now, he is twenty years old, a man. Suffice it to say, a lot of anger and bitterness have swelled in his heart. And it makes sense that Katara and Sokka—and I suppose Suki and Toph—would fall back into the roles they had played in the Great War to keep the peace because no one knows what to do. But the only problem now is that Aang refuses to do that. He is no longer that naïve, bubbly-eyed kid. His heart has hardened after all the emotional scarring he's suffered, and he's bitter about everything he had to deal with because Katara and Sokka left him. He blames them for his shattered distraction.
**Okay, it had always really pissed me off when, in The Southern Raiders episode, a fan favorite and one of my favorites, too, Katara was acting like a complete bitch, a child who was throwing a tantrum. I understood why she did it and applauded her when she decided to find her mother's murderer, but when she said that Aang didn't understand what she was feeling – and when she said something about Sokka not loving their mother like she herself did – I completely despised the writing of it, especially since nobody called her out on it. "I knew you wouldn't understand.", "Then you didn't love her the way I did." That scene, especially since there is no fallout like Aang losing his 'feelings' for her, or he and Sokka losing their trust for her, is one of the most poorly-written scenes in Avatar, in my opinion.
I mean, what kind of backward-ass thinking must you entertain to utter something so profane to a child who lost his entire world? How could she think Aang doesn't understand? That's probably the most emotionally unaware and blind statement in the entire show! If anything, Katara doesn't understand and Aang understands all too well what vengeance does, for, unlike Katara, whose vengeance is but a spark, Aang's vengeance that he certainly feels is an inferno that could raze the world if unleashed. I really hate—hate—that scene because it rings hollow and sanctimonious, like Katara's quest is so unimaginable and noble to a boy who is a child in his understanding when he possesses the wisdom of Air, a civilization that matured past the other nations in its understanding and insight. And I thought Aang's response to Katara in that episode was perfect, for it shows how desperate he is to hold onto Air's teachings, for that's all he has and all he knows. He's a child who can't look at things another way because if he did, he would snap.
So, I had Aang never forget that moment and unleash it back towards Katara in this chapter – poetic justice because, to be blunt, Katara more than deserved it. So, now to anyone who thought Katara was out of character throughout the chapter, and even before this chapter, there have been many occasions in Canon when she has blamed different people for her mother's death. She had even blamed Zuko. Katara is human and she has mostly been isolated at the South Pole for almost her entire life, save for journeying across the world during the Great War. Because of this, she hasn't matured. Sure, she matured during the Great War physically and mentally, but emotionally she is very, very lacking—most of the Gaang is, and that's the entire point. They were all mere children, even Zuko and Sokka, fighting in the Great War, death and trauma becoming a part of them, something that they should have never been exposed to.
Katara's mother's death reshaped her entire life. She had never been able to properly grieve (Yon Rha in The Southern Raiders doesn't really count. She was consumed with vengeance. She did receive closure from the encounter, but healing from grief is far different than closure.) because Hakoda and all the had men left to join the Great War. She was then the eldest of all children besides Sokka in the Southern Water Tribe and she was forced to play 'mom' for years basically.
Katara, as a character and person, tends to think with her heart instead of her head. And while there is nothing wrong with that, wars are only ever won when the heart is tempered by the mind. I'm sorry if it seems that I have been, that I am bashing Katara, but that wasn't my intention. She is one of my favorite characters in Avatar, but she has flaws just like every character in Avatar, and everyone in life itself.
I hope you all enjoyed it! Please, leave a review and tell me what you thought of it!
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ButtonPusher
