"Get hold of it, Hermes!" Zeus' voice shook the temple roof as Hermes raced after the Minotaur's loose chain.

"I'm trying, sir!" he replied as the links streamed through his hands and whipped through the air, and as the great bull bellowed and charged against the stone columns. "But it's big!"

"This insult won't go unpunished!" The statue of Zeus pounded its fist against his throne as he rounded on the darting figure of his messenger. "Hades will pay for this!"

"He's sure got a long list-!" The Minotaur slammed into a wall and shattered a bracket, scattering hot coals and embers everywhere. "-to answer for!"

"Get that chain!"

Ganymede poked his head around the temple doors, and though his stomach had wrenched itself into a fist he couldn't help but smirk. If anything could desecrate Zeus' precious holy site it was that wild and unwashed monster, and it was satisfying to see someone else fall victim to its chaos. His eyes lingered on that gigantic, animated statue and the messenger god who'd locked him in the Labyrinth.

"I mean," he muttered to himself, drawing back into the shadows, "He seems to have it all under control." Hermes wasn't going to lay hold of the Minotaur any time soon, so once they admitted defeat and the Minotaur had gotten all tuckered out, he'd swoop in and take it back... after this had all blown over. Besides, that cow wasn't his problem - he never asked to be a babysitter.

"Ah-ha!" Hermes grabbed the chain as the roaring Minotaur toppled a branched candlestick with a swing of its horns. Before it could continue its rampage, Hermes darted around the statue of Zeus' ankle and tied the chain into a neat bow. "There we go, Your Highness! He's not breaking that!" He gave the statue a sharp rap with his knuckles. Ganymede winced.

Well, still. He was outmatched, and at least if Olympus had the Minotaur then it wouldn't be his fault when it inevitably got loose again. With a sigh of deliberate relief and a determinedly jolly toss of his hair, he span on his heel and began to march back down the hill. After all, even given the Minotaur's prodigious strength, it was more trouble than it was worth.

But still, his feet slowed.

"Excellent job, Hermes!" Zeus declared. Hermes zipped back up into the air.

"Thanks, babe." It felt like old times again. "That'll keep him away from Thebes, huh? So..." He looked over his glasses to watch the Minotaur huff and yank at its collar. "What do we do with him now?"

The great statue of Zeus furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin. "Well..." He worked it through out loud. "I'd rather not send him back to Crete."

"Great idea, that place gives me the creeps."

"Exactly, I don't want that weirdo Minos thinking us gods are flip-floppers. It'd make us look bad in front of those other guys."

"Oh... yeah, that too."

As if realising that its chain connected to a far less hospitable stone column than the last one, the Minotaur gave a sudden bellow. It slammed against the full length of its leash, bringing chunks of limestone ceiling crashing onto the mosaic beneath its hooves. Hermes let out a yell, dodging a particularly large slab, as falling shards glanced off of the statue of Zeus. One of the smaller columns tumbled over the tiles, spidering cracks through the intricate design.

"That is it!" Zeus' voice took on a new gravity, deep enough to carry all the way to the shepherd now trotting down the path outside. Ganymede turned, brushing his hair over his shoulder. Above his head, the clouds began to creep in, and a low rumble signalled an oncoming storm.

"I'm sure that's normal," he muttered to himself.

"I'm getting rid of this thing before it does any more damage!" Zeus' voice boomed through the open doors.

Ganymede groaned, threw his hands up into the air, and hurried back towards the temple.

Hermes hovered awkwardly at Zeus' shoulder. "Oh, sir, really? I mean, it's a living thing!" Zeus turned calmly to him, though his lower half remained unanimated.

"Do you eat barbecue, Hermes?"

"Sure, I bought a grill last summer."

"Hamburgers?"

"... Yes?"

Zeus lifted the toppled column from the ground, raised his fist above his head and scrunched one eye shut as if aiming for a fly with a rolled-up newspaper. "Then don't be a hypocrite." Hermes darted behind Zeus' head and covered his eyes with his hands - but hey, he'd seen Zeus smite before.

Ganymede darted over the mosaic, flying for the Minotaur as it lifted its head in instinctual alarm. He grabbed the fallen candlestick, leaping the cinders still smouldering on the floor, and cursing the fact that he'd left his crook in the Underworld, he swung its forked head up into the air. It locked behind the Minotaur's horns. The column came down, even as Zeus' eyes widened in shock, as he pulled with all the strength he still had. It followed the urging and moved, the stone crashing into the ground and missing the tip of its tail by a hair's breadth. Zeus let out a shout of alarm.

"Ganymede!"

Ganymede stared up as the god's shock faded to a paternal smile. His muscles stiffened, his heart squeezed tight in his chest, and his last, stupid act was to throw a last, stupid arm between Zeus and the Minotaur before everything froze in place.

His knees wouldn't bend, his head wouldn't turn, fear locked him in place before the gigantic effigy of his greatest nemesis, and their betrayal burned so deeply that he could have ripped them all to pieces straight off of his body. Zeus reached for him, his voice laced with danger.

"Hello, lad."


"That little sneak!" Hades yelled as he stormed back and forth across the length of his throne room. "He stole my Minotaur! And for what?! Just because we got a little heated, he thinks he can rob me?! Me?!" Pain and Panic slunk behind the table. "Who's the god around here, huh?! Who's the big guy who's supposed to be in charge around here?! Ohh-ho-ho-ho-" He wrung his hands together as if strangling an invisible neck, "When I get my hands on that rat bastard, I'm gonna- Oh, hold on-" The imps poked their heads out from beneath the furniture. "I'm getting a call."

He summoned the mirror before him. The screen flashed to life, and he leapt up so sharply that Pain and Panic thought he'd been hit with his own (long overdue) personal thunderbolt.

Ganymede, gagged by golden chains, struggled like a trapped insect in Zeus' closed fist. The Minotaur lowed at his feet, its battering attempts at freedom now subdued by a fearful understanding of the threat above its head.

"Hades!" Zeus said brightly. "Good of you to finally pick up!"

Hades whipped back and forth as if searching for a weapon before snapping, "Hey! That brat belongs to me! You're way outta line here!"

"Really?" Zeus gazed down with beatific triumph from his stone throne. "Then I guess that makes us even now, eh brother? Sorry about the gag, by the way!" He winced and wiggled a finger in his ear, "He wouldn't stop yelling."

Hades gnashed his teeth, his claws flexing. Pain and Panic's tails dropped to the ground as they retreated. "Whaddaya want, huh?!" he yelled, "You want my dog? My house? My liver? I'm not sure I've got a whole lot I'm willing to trade these days, Zeus!"

"Oh no," Zeus chuckled paternally, "This isn't a trade." His fist began to tighten around Ganymede's body. "This is a demonstration."

Horror swept Hades' expression as his only guarantee twitched and scrambled like a roach. The gears in his head were spinning, but no plan was flashing up. As the statue's knuckles sharpened and Ganymede's face turned a darker shade of green, he could think of nothing - nothing Zeus needed that he didn't already have.

"Wait!" Hermes zipped in front of Zeus' eyes, his hands outstretched. "You can't kill him!"

"Hermes," Zeus groaned, for a moment releasing the pressure and leaving Ganymede limp, "Don't ruin the moment."

Hermes jabbed his finger at the statue, the force of each poke jumping him that bit higher into the air. "This is not cool, man! You've been acting real wacko lately, and this is the last straw!" Zeus grabbed him in his other fist, but as his lungs squeezed, he managed to choke out, "Maybe we can figure something out?"

Ganymede dragged his head upright and tried to blink through the world swaying around him. As he grasped for comprehension through fading semi-consciousness and as the threads of all his bargains frayed apart between his fingers, he realised with a trickle of dread that his battle was over. He had scrounged and wheedled for every scrap of power and it had all been traded away, piece by piece. Even though he'd done everything he could think of, grabbed at every avenue and bartered as hard as he could, there was no hope of winning now.

Zeus glared at Hermes. Then, eyes sweeping back to his brother, he snarled, "Give me the cup."

"The cup?" Hades asked with wide, unblinking eyes. "What cup?"

"That cup, Hades!" Zeus thundered, and Hades glanced sidelong at the golden cup sitting in full view on the table.

"Oh," he said without enthusiasm, "That cup. Well!" Hades clasped his hands together, "See, slight problem! I can't really do anything with the darn thing because-"

"The cup for the boy, Hades!"

"I get it! But I'm kinda tied up here! I need to talk to the-" But Zeus roared over his listless point towards Ganymede,

"NOW, HADES!"

"I CAN'T!" Hades' flames shot up into the air.

It took a few seconds for Zeus' voice to rise above the muffled ringing in Ganymede's ears, but Hades' cut straight through. The decision before him was as clear as it was hopeless. He could choose the mercy of only one of them - did he trust Zeus or did he trust his bitter, cruel and vindictive little brother?

Zeus' grip lessened as he argued with Hades, and Ganymede snatched his arm free. He ripped the gag from his mouth.

"Hades!" he called, voice cracking, "Just take the stupid thing! It's free!"

"Woah, really?" Hades' flames sucked back down. "Are you sure? I mean, this is the last leverage you've got."

Ganymede's voice cut through all their teeth like a knife, but only Hades saw the exhaustion snuffing out the light in his eyes. "PLEASE!"

"Fine! Geez!"

The cup shone - the bargain sealed - and Hades snatched it up. "Here we go!" He turned his attention to the towering figure of his brother. "Okay, you want the cup? Have the damn cup!"

Glaring down at the boy, Zeus squeezed him tight again and heard him choke. Holding both him and Hermes up where he could see them, he said, "Bring it here, we make the trade."

Hades' face twitched with the rage he was swallowing, but he span around to grab his minions. "Bring the chariot around!" he roared at whichever one he caught. Before the feed cut, he shot one final, simmering glare at the boy hanging in Zeus' fist.


Zeus released Hermes from his fist with a great sigh. "I'm disappointed in you, Hermes - throwing off my game like that, and in front of my brother!" With a small gesture of his free fingers, a gag re-bound itself around Ganymede's mouth.

Hermes dropped through the air until the wings on his heels unbent themselves, and caught himself in time to dart up to the statue's face. "I'm sorry, man! I know you're in a tight spot right now, but you can't just kill-"

"Kill?!" Zeus' face morphed into hurt. "I've never killed anyone! Well, sure, a little smiting here and there, but that's always been the case!" He held out his hand and Hermes perched nervously in the centre of his palm. "You always cheered on the smiting..."

"Sure, but..."

"I know we might not see eye-to-eye on this, but trust me - this breaks my heart, it really does. But this is war! And this unfortunate young man- " He lifted up his fist, where Ganymede still kicked and wriggled, "picked the wrong side."

Hermes watched Ganymede's hateful thrashing. "I guess..."

"But you know what?" Zeus said kindly, "Thanks to you, we have a new plan! No smiting necessary! You ought to be very proud of yourself!"

Hermes frowned for a moment, certain that this conversation had started on a different tone, but still his wings gave a hopeful, butterfly-like flex. "Thank you, sir."

Ganymede paused his kicking to roll his eyes.

"Here's a thought!" Zeus reached up and placed Hermes on the back of his throne, "Why don't you and I go down to Athens some time? Watch a game? I know you love the javelin!"

Hermes grinned through his discomfort. "Sounds good, man."

Hades' chariot landed in silence on the temple approach, the wheels leaving no trace in the grass. Pain and Panic followed in locked tension behind him as he tossed the cup up and down in one hand, their tiny, crunching footsteps the only ones audible - Hades himself moved in silence. In a twist of smoke he moved to a column and pressed himself behind it. They scurried after him.

"Okay boys, here's the plan," he said, without humour, "I'll keep the big idiot talking, you grab the kid."

They goggled up at him, tails shivering behind them like nervous rats. Pain cleared his throat before asking, "Um..." He shrank under the god's widening glare, "Us? Versus... Zeus?"

Hades grinned down at them with the warmth of a skull. "Well, you boys have been complaining about upward mobility for a while, right?" He grabbed them by their heads. "Now's your chance to play in the big leagues! Now go-!" He heaved back his shoulders and shot them up to the temple roof in a trail of fire. Their screams fortunately didn't make it inside. "And don't forget!" he called after them in a stage-whisper, "Discretion!"