A/N
Trigger warning: sexual violence.
Chapter 2
Ste busied himself the minute Simon walked out the door, wanting to really make a dent in all the unpacking so the man didn't think he was messing around. The flat was nice, modern, minimalist, a bit cold if he was truthful. It was an open plan kitchen & living room set up with a small corridor at the back that led on to the bedroom and bathroom. It was furnished (apart from the sofa they'd brought up) so at least there was no flatpack furniture nonsense to worry about! Ste easily found the box that had the airpacked duvet and pillows as well as the bedding and set about making Simons bed, it felt oddly intimate making someone's bed for them, which is crazy because hotel maids do it on a daily basis and he bet they didn't feel like that. The sheets were nice, a clean navy blue and Ste could tell they were those high thread count or whatever Amy was always talking about, they felt amazing, he bet they were nice to sleep in, not that he should be thinking about sleeping in Simon's bed he chastised himself and felt himself go red.
Ste made quick work of the bedroom, living room and the kitchen, and was finishing up in the bathroom when he came across a box that contained an ungodly amount of condoms and some lube - the good thick kind - which he quickly shoved it into the bathroom cupboard before debating whether he should repack all the bathroom stuff so Simon didn't know he'd seen it and Ste could save his blushes. His decision was made for him when he heard the front door unlock
"Wow someones been a busy bee!" Simon bellowed
Ste came shuffling around the corner holding the boxes he'd just emptied and placed them on the floor with the others.
"Err yeah it was easy really, i've pretty much done everything. Your kitchens completely sorted, but I didn't unpack your clothes cus i didn't know where you'd want things. Hope everything else is ok"
Simon made his way behind the breakfast bar in the kitchen and placed two bags on the counter.
"You've even arranged the coasters, you're a right little homemaker. You'll make someone a lovely husband one day Ste" he teased.
Ste laughed quietly as he sat himself down on one of the bar stools and watched Simon unpack his shopping. He studied him as he pulled out a carton of milk, a loaf of bread, oranges, a bottle of whisky and 2 crates of beer.
"Eyar i thought you were getting your shopping for the week?"
"Well that was the plan, but i had no inspiration of what to make, so i just got the bare essentials and it will have to be take out tonight"
"Beer and milk are the bare essentials?"
"Oh yeah, this is where the magic happens" Simon wiggled his fingers over the shopping, eliciting a chuckle out of Ste.
"Well, I should probably get out of your hair then and let you get settled" Ste stood up and rang his hands together nervously.
"Oh have you got plans this evening"
"Er me? No. Amy's away with the kids so no plans"
"Amy your girlfriend is she?"
"Nah, we used to be together and we've got two kids but now we just live together and, erm, what's the word…."
"Co-parent?" Simon offered
"Yeah, that. But im gay so, yeah. No, she's not my girlfriend. Basically"
Simon laughed kindly at Ste stumbling over his words. "You don't look old enough to have two kids though, and such a mature set up"
"I'm 21, 21 last week actually"
"Well happy birthday for last week then, the big two one. What did you do for it?"
"Erm well it was a saturday so me and Amy took the kids to the park and then got fish and chips" Ste replied, when Simon raised his eyebrows Ste suddenly became self conscious at how sad and unexciting he was. He bet Simon was an interesting guy, the kind with lots of mates.
"I'm such a loser," Ste grumbled.
"Spending a big birthday with your loved ones, that's what everyone wants to be doing really, everything is just bells and whistles"
Ste offered up a small smile at Simon's reassurance as he picked up his coat.
"Well if you've got no plans, you could help me get through these beers? You've sorted this place single handedly so there's not exactly anything for me to do"
Ste was shocked at the offer and a bit awkward, but a little part of him was excited. He was being stupid, Simon wasn't gay, surely. Even if he was, someone like Ste wouldn't be of any interest, he's just being friendly, matey.
"Er, yeah ok, if you're sure?"
"It's a date then" Simon said playfully as Ste stood there slack jawed.
"Here, crack these open and I'll put a film on my laptop. What do you fancy?"
"I like action films"
"Action film it is"
Ste opened the cans and passed one to Simon. Sitting himself awkwardly on the white sofa. Simon stuck the Fast and the Furious on which he streamed on the large TV and settled down next to Ste. They watched the film so he didn't have to worry about awkward silences or that he would say anything weird, but Simon would interject everytime something absolutely ridiculous would happen in the film - which was a lot - he was kind of funny actually. When the film finished Simon jumped up and grabbed their 4th beer each. He'd changed into grey jogging bottoms and a tight white t-shirt which clung to his body and Ste couldn't help but marvel at the way he moved. He was so graceful but masculine, his body was tall, toned and lean, like a dancer rather than some gym buff.
"I'm starving, what do you fancy? Pizza? Please say pizza" Simon was already reaching for a Dominos menu that had been in the post pile when they walked into the flat. Ste just nodded, happy to go along with whatever Simon wanted.
As Simon returned he went over to the laptop again and looked at more films
"2 fast 2 furious? surely not!" Simon exclaimed, they both laughed.
"Warrior? It's a boxing film"
"Yeah sure, whatever. Anything that isn't peppa pig is great to me"
"Well you're in for a treat then, its got Tom Hardy in as well so that's always a plus"
Ste was at a loss for what to say, did he mean because Ste was gay? Or because he's just an actor he liked? Or did he mean he thinks tom hardy is a plus? like , he likes to watch him.
"So you not got a girlfriend then Simon?" Ste tried to sound breezy.
"Nope"
"Been married?"
"No"
"Sorry i'm being nosy"
"You're not, there's just nothing to say, not yet anyway" Simon glanced over at Ste and winked, then flicked his floppy hair back out of his eyes and settled his them back on the tv.
Ste felt his cheeks going red as he quickly sunk half his beer down in one go.
Just as the second film was drawing to an end the buzzer went and Simon strode over to the intercom to let them in. Ste stood up awkwardly thinking about how he hadn't contributed anything to the beer or the pizza order and wondered if he should offer. Maybe he could just tell Simon to take it out of what he was going to pay him, at this point he really had no idea what that was, he'd probably only done £50 worth of work and he was pretty sure simon wasn't going to pay him for hanging out with him, Ste seriously hoped Simon offered up the money when he left because it would just be too cringe to ask.
Simon grabbed the kitchen roll and put the pizza boxes on the floor, telling Ste to grab the rest of the beers. Ste was actually feeling quite pissed, probably because he hadn't eaten all day. Simon went back to the laptop and fiddled with it, no movie came on though, instead it was music. Was this romantic?
"Don't even think about it!" Simon exclaimed, causing Ste to jump out of his skin and almost spill his beer. He stared at Simon wide eyed.
"We are not eating a meat-feast pizza on my white sofa, get on the floor" he instructed. Ste laughed his donkey laugh.
"You frightened the life out of me!"
"That laugh is what's frightening. A donkey being tortured"
"Shurup! Its me laugh, what am i meant to do about it"
"Has anyone told you your accent gets even thicker when you're drunk?" Simon teased.
"I'm not drunk" he replied but Ste was then silenced by a hiccup, causing them both to snigger.
They sat on the floor with their backs leaning against the sofa, legs out with the pizza in front. Nothing was said for the first 10 minutes as they both tucked into the pizza to settle their rumbling stomachs, allowing the sounds of Keane to fill the air.
"So tell me about yourself Ste"
Ste covered his mouth as he finished his mouthful, "not much to tell, you know the basics"
"Oh I bet there's a lot I don't know about you. You're from Manchester, that much is evident. What brought you to hollyoaks?
"Mi stepdad lost his job in Salford and this was the only place he could get another one" Ste shrugged.
"What did he do?"
"Bin man" there was silence for a few seconds and then they both burst out laughing, Ste had never thought how ridiculous that sounded before.
"Are you close with your family?"
"Amy and the kids are my family now" Ste was curt with his response, not wanting to take this conversation any further.
"Understood," Simon nodded. Ste felt like he did in fact understand what he was saying. An unspoken acknowledgement.
"What about you?" Ste asked, trying to move the conversation on.
"I was close to my little brother '' Simon looked into the distance whilst taking another sip of his beer and Ste instantly clocked the 'was' and knew there was a story there, although probably one for another time.
They continued to talk for over an hour and the conversation just flowed. Ste knew he had a habit of rabbiting on and knew it annoyed some people, but it didn't seem to bother Simon, who easily conversed and swapped stories. He had such a wild life, he knew so much and to say Ste felt inferior was an understatement, but he was enjoying this, it was nice to talk about something other than the kids or how useless and jobless Ste was, this was grown up.
Simon pulled Ste out of his reverie "So, did you always know you were gay?"
Christ, Where had that come from?
"Erm…. no, no. When me and Amy were together it was real, all of it. I dated girls, never thought i were different like that. I knew gay people, but never thought maybe I was. Then i met someone who made me realise"
"How'd he do that?"
"I don't really know. I thought I just admired him at first, cus he was a real manly man, respected and feared, got what he wanted, stylish. I liked being around him, he made me feel special. When he would give me a compliment, it meant the world to me and I found myself trying to impress him and doing anything he said. Then I realised that wasn't normal as friends, you don't get that hung up on your mates. The world doesn't feel like it's turning upside down when your mate looks at you" Ste stared down at the can ring he was fiddling with and sighed wistfully.
"You had a crush on him"
"Ha! You make it sound like i were a school boy!"
"How old were you?"
"Nineteen"
"And he was?"
"Erm, 31, he were my boss, owned the club I worked in. When it finally happened, it were confusing for a little bit, but then I felt like it made sense, like I knew who I was. Sometimes it was so good but then he'd change out of nowhere, I could never predict his moods." Simon looked at Ste with something Ste couldn't read, was it pity? Did Simon pity him?
"Did you love him?"
"With everything I had. But he didnt love me, not properly. He just liked to control me, pick me up and drop me when he wanted" Ste continued to stare down sorrowfully. But then a sudden jolt of anger hit him out of nowhere "And now he acts like i'm in the wrong, that he has the right to be annoyed at me! After everything he's done to me, he tries to make me feel bad for not believing him, when I know what he's done! I know things that no one else knows and I never told no one. I kept his secrets. I never even went to the police about the things he did to me. He's always got to play games and have the last laugh, I hate him. I really hate him!" He had absolutely no idea why he was divulging this information, must be the 8 beers, he was most definitely drunk.
"He sounds like he's really done a number on you" Simon agreed
"Yeah, yeah he has. And he sacked me, he knew what that would do and he dint care, not one bit. He only cares about himself and lookin like the big hard man. Fuck him." Ste hiccuped again and started laughing, throwing his head back on the sofa. Simon laughed with him.
"Sounds like you're well rid of him, you could do better"
"Mmmm, i can't though. I hate him, but he's him and i'm just me. He knows that, think that's why he gets such a laugh out of me"
"Hey, hey" Simon caught Ste's chin with his finger and thumb forcing him to look him in the eye. "That's not true, you're a good man who's doing his best, you're just having a hard time"
"You don't know me, you don't know what i've done in the past, i'm not a good man"
"You are, good men can do bad things. Trust me, I would know." silence settled over them.
Ste finally broke it "how?" The tall man looked at him quizzically
"How do you know?"
Simon exhaled a laugh, "Life. Just life. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems". He seemed to get lost in his thoughts before rounding back and shooting Ste a smile.
"So you and big boss man didn't work out, and there's no one else"
Right, so they were back to talking about their love lives then.
"Well there was one other guy, Noah, we were together for a little while, but that didn't work out. I wasn't enough for him either" Ste tried to laugh it off as a joke. "You?"
A satisfied smile played across Simon's lips. "Mmm i've had a lot of lovers Ste, some good, some bad, none ugly" Ste honked a laugh, he really should put the can down he thought to himself, but he didn't.
"But no lucky lady right now then?" He knew he was being obvious, but he was just curious.
"Nope no lady of note, no man of note either" the older man said confidently.
"Oh, so you're, Bi? Or whatever"
"Yeah, 'or whatever' sounds about right. I don't like labels, I like pretty things" he was piercing Ste with his gaze and his face felt like it was on fire.
"Fancy a shot? You strike me as the peach schnapps type" he said in jest
"Oi! You saying i'm like a girl?! Cheeky git. I'll have what you're having"
Simon chuckled as he stood "good lad".
He returned with a bottle of whisky and two glasses. Ste tried hard to shun the memory of the last time he sat with a man and drank shots of whisky. How different things had been then, it felt like a lifetime ago. He was momentarily transported but shook the memory just as quickly as it had crept up on him. After clinking their glasses they downed the amber liquid and Ste did his best to hide his grimace and style it out, judging by Simon smirk, he didn't do a very good job. After two more shots Ste was well and truly trollied, it was definitely time to leave, he could hear Simon talking about something, prison, Was he talking about prison? Ste really couldn't make it out, it was all fuzzy, he just needed to close his eyes for a second. He let his head tilt back on the sofa and his eyes fluttered closed, he was just going to rest for a second.
##################
He felt a hand ghost over his hip bone and fingers skim up his midriff, weight shifting around him but he kept his eyes shut. The tickle of a moustache along his bare skin and lips that pressed into each of his ribs as they made their way down his body.
"i know you're awake" growled the Irish voice seductively
Ste couldn't keep the pretence up anymore and dissolved into a giggle, still not opening his eyes.
"How could you tell?"
"You breathe differently when you sleep" the gruff voice said, followed by another kiss on his navel.
"How do you know that?" Ste asked, affronted.
"because I've watched you sleeping enough times" more kisses down his pelvis.
"Well that's not creepy at all is it?" Ste responded sarcastically
"you know me steven" kiss "i like to keep an eye on you at all times" kiss. he mumbled into Ste's body.
Ste smiled fondly "that should be well weird, but it's not".
Brendan flicked his gaze up to Ste who'd finally opened his eyes to survey the man crawling down his body. The gaze was predatory, seductive and reassuring all at the same time, it made Ste's stomach fill with butterflies and blood rush to his cock.
The older man took a hold of Ste and began licking the head whilst gripping him at the base and within no time at all he'd taken him straight down to the root and Ste was pretty sure he could feel Brendan's tonsils as his throat constricted around him. As Brendan continued to work Ste's entire length, he slipped his fingers down the cleft of Ste's arse and using his own dribbling spit for lubrication, worked a finger into Ste's tight hole. He slid his finger in and out, gently curving the tip of it every time he felt Ste jolt and he knew he'd grazed his sweet spot. He'd worked up to two fingers by the time Ste was crying out in pleasure, "oh please, please Brendan" he had no idea what he was even begging for, for more? for him not to stop? but they were the only words he could get out. Brendan continued scissor his fingers as he bobbed his head mercilessly eliciting the most primal noises out of Ste as he suddenly shot his load into the back of Brendan's mouth.
Ste's vision was blurred and he could barely hear a thing as he came down from his orgasm high, but he knew Brendan was already working his way back up Ste, ready to continue his assault of pleasure on Ste's willing body. Morning blow jobs off Brendan were a work of art, Ste was pretty sure they should be studied, a marvel of the modern world, Ste giggled to himself at his dirty and nonsensical post-orgasmic thoughts.
Brendan loomed over Ste's body, hands either side of Ste's head holding himself up, slowly lowering himself so he was covering Ste's body and pressing him down into the mattress, no way of moving, completely at Brendan's mercy.
"What are you laughing at Steven" he drawled
"Nothing" he craned his neck up quickly to steal a peck of Brendan's lips "just happy aren't I?"
Brendan gave him a quizzical look that quickly turned into a satisfied smirk "are you now? and what's made you happy?"
"it's nice, when it's just me and you" Ste hoped Brendan could feel the sincerity in his words.
"And is that the only reason?" Brendan shot a glance down towards Ste's sensitive and spent cock.
Ste couldn't help but laugh at Brendan's ever growing ego when it came to being able to satisfy Ste sexually. "pack it in!" he playfully chastised.
"mmm i'd rather get in you" Brendan punctuated each word with a kiss on Ste's jaw before moving down to kiss his neck, nibbling at his left earlobe and licking his way to the other. Ste was utterly entranced with the way Brendan could make him feel with a touch of his body, relaxing completely into the older man's movements and allowing himself to be worshipped.
Brendan's kisses became more urgent and his hands more insistent on his body, Ste went to open his eyes but found that he couldn't. Momentarily stunned, he tried to speak, but he couldn't do that either, nor could he move his arms. Panic started to rise in him and he noticed he couldn't feel the tell tale tickle of Brendan's moustache anymore, his tongue felt different, he smelt different, Ste was dreaming, he had to be. His eyes felt so heavy but he managed to open them only to shut them just as quickly when the room was spinning. He tried again and urged them to stay open and when he got his bearings, he realised he was still in Simon's living room and he was kissing his neck.
Ste sloppily put his hand on Simon's shoulder and attempted to push him away "No".
"It's ok Ste, it's ok, just relax" Simon soothed as he continued to run his hand over Ste's torso and kiss him.
"No, stop!" Ste said more purposefully. The adrenaline was hitting him now and bringing him out of his drunken stupor.
"I know you want this too" Simon panted as he grabbed hold of Ste's hard bulge in his tracksuit.
Oh god, he'd been dreaming about one of his and Brendan's past encounters and had given himself a hard on because of a wet dream, and Simon had got the wrong end of the stick, he thought Ste wanted him. Ste's face burned with embracement
"No, no I don't. it were a mistake, an accident. Stop. I don't want this" Ste's movements were more frantic now as he tried to push Simon away from him.
Simon laughed as he continued to claim every inch of Ste's skin that he could get to "you've been checking me out all day, don't think i haven't noticed the glances. you want me, don't play shy"
It was partly true, Ste had been attracted to Simon but he didn't even think he was actually gay at the start, and whatever the initial attraction, whatever Ste had thought might come of their time together, he knew he didn't want this, not now.
They were still on the floor leaning against the sofa, and when Simon lessened his grip on Ste's crotch, he tried to scramble away from him. Simon was too quick though and flung his much larger much more competent body over Ste's slight frame, bundling them to the ground, Ste face first on the floor and Simon atop of him.
"You've got the wrong idea! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Ste blurted out in desperation.
Simon laughed sadistically "Nobody likes a tease Ste. Just pretend I'm Brendan"
Ste stilled at those words, he was sure he'd never said Brendan's name to Simon. The next thing he felt was his trackies and boxers being yanked down to his thighs and Simon using the palm of his hand in the middle of Ste's back to keep him secure whilst he quickly manoeuvred his own jogging bottoms to release himself.
"Please. please" Ste barely even recognised his own voice as the strangled sob came out.
He heard Simon spit into his hand before he felt him lay himself flush to Ste's back. Ste's left cheek was against the cold hard floor and he could feel Simon's breath on his right cheek as he buried his face into the crook of Steven's neck and panted hungrily.
The pain that seared through his body as Simon hurriedly pushed himself into Ste without any preparation caused Ste to scream out and Simon quickly wrapped his left arm under Ste's neck and brought his hand securely over Ste's mouth, preventing any more cries.
The usual mild sting and burn that had always turned into pleasure was replaced with a torturous pain that felt like he was being repeatedly stabbed as Simon violated him at a punishing pace. His muffled cries and sobs that were restricted by Simon's hand didn't seem to bother the man as he groaned in release and pleasure. The fear and panic coursing through Ste's body as well as Simon's full weight squashing him into the ground made it increasingly difficult for Ste to breathe, he was gasping for air between Simon's violent thrusts and for a little while Ste was struggling so much he thought he was going to pass out. He imagined that would be for the best, it would end the pain and unconsciousness would put an end to this ordeal, but then he thought about what would happen after, would Simon's body suffocate him completely? would he finish and see Ste's unresponsive body and panic, bury him somewhere to hide the evidence? Ste needed to stay here, he needed to survive. He thought of Leah and Lucas for a brief moment and then pushed all thoughts of them out of his head, not wanting to taint them with what was happening to him at that moment.
Simon let out an aggressive growl as he came with one last brutal thrust, quickly becoming a dead weight on Ste's back. His breath wetted Ste's cheek whilst his ragged pants became more steady as he came down. Ste was as still as he could ever remember being, as if he could dissolve into the floor if he didn't move a muscle, disappear from here, away from this man.
After several minutes of stillness and silence, Simon roused himself and pulled out of Ste causing him to whimper. He got to his knees and leant back on his heels, letting out a satisfied sigh whilst tucking himself away, he then grabbed Ste's bunched up trackies and boxers and dragged them back up his body with as much force as he'd pulled them down with.
Was he protecting Ste's dignity, the thought might have made him laugh under different circumstances. Simon ran his fingers through his hair and quickly stood, striding over to the kitchen and pouring himself a whisky and leaning against the island to sip it.
Once the weight of Simon had been removed, Ste tried his best to catch his breath without drawing too much attention to himself, he was still laying on the floor, having not moved an inch. More silence. He slowly began to try and get to his feet, still consumed with the physical pain of Simon's actions, he stumbled a bit. He slowly looked around himself at the floor, he had no idea what he was looking for, maybe a clue as to how that had just happened to him.
What Ste definitely felt though, was awkward, he couldn't get over how absurd that was. He should feel scared, angry, deranged, grief or whatever, but he felt immensely awkward. What we he meant to do now? should he run out screaming and crying, flag down the nearest person for help? Was he meant to ask Simon why he'd just done that to him? Should he try to fight him like a real man would? thank him for the beers and pizza and make his way home?
Ste remained standing in the living room staring at the floor when he was nudged out of his daze when Simon spoke
"Do you want me to call you a cab?"
Simon said it so matter of fact Ste couldn't even answer him, he just looked at him with glazed eyes.
"Or you can stay here if you want, you made the bed up after all"
Ste wanted to scream that he was a fucking psycho, to reach for that whisky bottle and smash it over the freaks head. But instead he just whispered a meek "no" before picking up his jacket and sluggishly stumbling towards the front door. As he opened the door Simon spoke again
"i really enjoyed tonight, we should do it again sometime"
Ste stared at him open mouthed, was he being serious?
"oh and Ste, don't tell anyone, they'll never believe you. trust me".
And with those words hanging heavy in the air, Ste walked out and gently closed the door behind him.
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