In between her trip and umpiring, Kensi had made it down to the water company to pay off the Deeks' water bill. Once again it took a good chunk out of her savings. The thought of Deeks working all hours chased away any regret she might have felt. He deserved some peace of mind, and to enjoy his summer without the constant worry of bills and work.
Kensi stepped out of the shower now, stepping around a trail of clothes leading back into her bedroom. The summer certainly hadn't gone quite as she planned. She'd expected more beach days and random walks around town, but those had become increasingly few and far between, particularly this last week.
She couldn't pretend she didn't miss him. After spending a part of almost every day together for the better part of the last few years, it was a big change. As much as she loved her other friends, and enjoyed spending time with them, it wasn't the same as with Deeks.
Kensi never got tired of him—frustrated and angry occasionally for sure, but that never lasted for long. They could spend the day surfing or hanging out watching her favorite movie they'd seen a hundred times before and Kensi was equally happy. Content. In a way she felt with no one else.
Then there was her startlingly realization that she was attracted to Deeks, which she refused to examine more closely. Fortunately, they both had enough going on that she'd been able to forget about it for the most part. Expect for late at night when she was all alone, and the sound of his laugh, the way he smiled, would fill her mind, making it hard to sleep.
Tugging on her clothes before her thoughts could derail, she returned to the bathroom with a brush in hand, and started untangling her damp curl. Maybe it was for the best that she keep a little distance between her and Deeks. For the sake of her very confused heart.
Kensi snorted at that thought. "Yeah right," she muttered to herself. She could barely make it a couple days without tracking Deeks down for at least a little visit.
Leaning forward with a tube of lipgloss between her thumb and forefinger, she regarded her reflection. "You are in so much trouble Kensi Marie Blye."
One night towards the end of June, Kensi and her dad's scheduled lined up so they could have an early dinner. Kensi didn't have anything planned afterwards, so she helped clean up, and afterwards they ended up in the backyard, playing catch just like when she was a little girl.
"Did you have a good night with Mindy and Kat?" Don asked at the same time he threw a softball in her direction. Kensi caught it absentmindedly, the ball making satisfying smack in the middle of her glove.
"Yeah, it was good. We went to a movie—"
"Hopefully not that new R-rated one that everyone's talking about."
Kensi rolled her eyes at his interruption. "Dad. Anyway, then we went back to Mindy's house for ice cream. She broke up with her boyfriend."
"Didn't she just start seeing him?" Don asked, sounding more confused than judgmental.
"Yeah. It wasn't meant to be."
He shook his head, but didn't comment. "And what about Marty? I haven't seen him in a few days," Don he continued after a minute.
"Work. What else? I think he picked up an extra shift from someone," Kensi told him with a shrug.
"Is he doing ok after what happened last week?"
"Yeah, I think so." Honestly, they hadn't spent more than a few minutes together since the night he was nearly arrested. She'd dropped by the shop a couple more times to say 'hi', but then left pretty quickly, knowing Deeks didn't want Mr. Chowdry to think he was slacking off. Kensi thought that was highly unlikely since Mr. Chowdry adored Deeks, but didn't feel like debating the point.
Don nodded, rolling the softball in his glove a couple times. Even though his expression gave nothing away, she could tell he was concerned. It awoke her own concern that she'd carefully tucked away.
"Did you have a disagreement?"
"No, of course not."
"Is he hanging out with Ray again?"
"Seriously, what's with the third degree? I thought you'd be happy that I'm "diversifying my social group" again," she pointed out in irritation. She felt weird enough about their distance without her dad question it.
"Sorry. I'm absolutely delighted. I want you to spend time with all your friends, Deeks included," he informed her with a look she couldn't quite read in the growing darkness. "So, he's staying out of trouble?"
"Yes, dad," Kensi answered archly, fisting her gloved hand on her fist.
"Would you tell me if he wasn't?"
"Yes." If she couldn't fix it herself.
Don smirked to himself, as though he guessed her internal stipulation.
"Invite him over for dinner tomorrow or the next night."
She didn't tell him that Deeks had turned down the same offer from her three times recently. Maybe he would change his mind if he knew the invitation came specifically from her dad.
"Ok," she agreed. "Thanks, dad."
Deeks intended to throw something together for dinner, or more accurately a midnight snack, and clean the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for a couple days when he got home. By the time he actually dragged himself through the door though, he had a pounding headache, his stomach had bypassed hunger and moved onto a vague aching nauseousness, and he was completely exhausted.
He hoped he wasn't coming down with some bug, but figured he just needed to sleep for a couple hours. Dragging himself to his room, he face-planted on his bed, groaning as he sank into the quilt, and fell asleep within seconds.
When he woke again, the sun streamed through his uncovered window, blindingly bright. Deeks groaned, and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow.
An insistent banging had him lifting his head just a few seconds later. That must have been what woke him up in the first place. The knocking resumed, loud and unrelenting, and he rolled out of bed, squinting at his watch.
It was after 10 in the morning.
"Damn it," he hissed. When the pounding continued, he stumbled out of his room, running his fingers through his hair a few times in a futile attempt to neaten it.
He hoped it wasn't their landlord asking about rent because they definitely didn't have enough to cover it. With a final shake of his hair, he yanked the door open, and found Kensi standing on the other side, her mouth slightly open as though she'd been about to say something.
Her eyes drifted over him, and he was suddenly acutely aware that he still wore his clothes from yesterday, which were probably wrinkled and gross. Based on Kensi's wide-eyed expression before she remembered herself, he was right.
"Hey."
"Hey. Did we have plans?" he asked, clearing his throat a couple times.
"No, we didn't," Kensi assured him. She gave him a worried look, her eyes drifting over him again. "Did you just wake up?"
"It's summer and I worked late," he answered shortly. Kensi looked taken aback but just shrugged. "Do you wanna come in?"
Kensi followed him into the kitchen, taking a seat at the worn table. He had a brief memory of sitting around the same table, doing their homework. The neither of them really cared that it rocked slightly from an uneven leg, or that the wallpaper was old and peeling. Now though, he noticed all the flaws more than ever.
"So, any reason why you were pounding on our front door like a door-to-door salesman?" he asked as he grabbed a glass and filled it at the sink.
"Well, I did call, three times first, but you didn't answer," she answered with an arched eyebrow. "I had to make sure you weren't dead."
Deeks rolled his eyes. "I guess I was sleeping pretty deeply. I didn't hear a thing."
"Mm." Kensi nodded shallowly, like she didn't quite believe him.
"Do you want some breakfast?" he offered, mildly glad when Kensi shook her head, since he wasn't sure what they had around. Everything felt a little off, awkward, in a way I never did with Kensi. He grabbed a second glass of water just for something to do.
"Nah, I already ate." Kensi accepted the glass, but didn't drink, instead rolling it between her palms. "Speaking of which, my dad wants to invite you to dinner. I think he's making barbecue beef and corn."
"Oh, thanks, but I, uh—"
"You're really going to turn down dinner with an ex-Navy SEAL?" she teased.
"Kens…" he trailed off and shook his head.
"Seriously?" Dropping the joking demeanor, Kensi tossed her hands in the air. "You've been brushing me off for days. What the hell is going on? And don't say it's work."
"Hey, I can't help it that I need to make money," he said, wincing as he said it. He didn't know how to explain it to her. How it felt like he was slowly but surely drowning in a sea of responsibilities. That the more time he spent with her, the more he worried he'd rub off on her. That the incident with Ray had scared him more than he would ever admit. That he felt so little control in his life sometimes he wanted to scream.
Kensi crossed her arms, jaw setting so tightly he worried for her teeth. "Yeah, well I stopped by the store before I came here, just in case you were working, and Mr. Chowdry told me you don't have a shift the next two days. Because he's worried about you working too much." She paused to let that sink in. "So what's the excuse now?"
"You're checking up on me now?"
Kensi's cheek flushed, but she didn't back down or deny it.
"No, I wasn't actually, but maybe I should since it doesn't seem like you can look after yourself," she said.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he snapped.
"I shouldn't have said that." Looking down at her hands, she let out an extended sigh. "I'm just frustrated."
"No, tell me what you mean," he insisted, folding his arms over his chest. He knew he should stop. He was too angry, too cornered for this conversation right now. He ignored the little voice in his head telling him to stop talking. "Please tell me what I'm doing wrong."
"I didn't say you were doing anything wrong. I just think that you're pushing yourself too hard," Kensi explained carefully, clearly trying to reign things back in.
"I'm fine."
"Really? Have you taken a look at yourself," she retorted incredulously. "Why won't you tell me what's going on? You're supposed to be my best friend and suddenly I can't even get you to answer my phone calls." There as a pleading note in her voice, and it made Deeks' chest ache.
He hated hurting her. He couldn't tell her though. He couldn't let her know that he was even more of a mess than she realized. He couldn't take the embarrassment of telling her that he was two seconds away from getting kicked out of his house because they couldn't pay a bill on time to save their lives. And he was terrified it would be enough to lose her.
So instead he shrugged, locking down on his anger and all emotion like he'd learned to a long time ago.
"I'm good. Some things are just personal, Kensi," he told her. Kensi's mouth opened slightly, pain crossing her features, and he watched her eyes fill with tears.
She pushed back from the table so fast the chair screeched across the floor, and turned to face the door, concealing the evidence of her pain.
"Kensi," he murmured, horrified even though he didn't know how to fix any of this. She stopped with one hand on the backdoor, her shoulders rigid.
"You know, I've only been trying to help you all this time. Because your supposedly my best friend. Call me when you figure out if that's still what you want." Then she tore the door open, running down the steps as Deeks helplessly watched her.
A/N: Combine teenagers trying to navigate their emotions and adult situations and you've got draaama. No, I definitely wasn't influenced by the Rookie at all with this ending. Hope you enjoyed!
