Chapter 17: "Loose Lips on the Airwaves"*

The familiar opening jingle of the *Big Ed Crime Hour* blared through the speakers, distorted just enough to give it a grungy, punk vibe that fit the Eds' style perfectly. Edd, always the professional, cleared his throat, adjusting his mic as he prepared to launch into their newest episode. The last few days had been chaotic, and the whole crew agreed it was time for a special call-in episode to give their listeners a chance to share what they knew.

Eddy, always eager to jump in, started first. "Alright, alright, alright, folks! Welcome back to another juicy, conspiracy-filled episode of *Big Ed Crime Hour*! It's your favorite trio of amateur sleuths, here to shine a light on the shady underbelly of this fine town. We've got a special episode for you tonight—call-ins! That's right, we're opening up the lines for all you crime-loving maniacs out there to tell us what *you* know. You got a tip? You saw something strange? Or maybe you've got a story about aliens and government mind control—I'll take it all, baby!"

Edd, sitting beside him, shot him a cautious look. "Let's try to keep things relevant to the investigation, shall we, Eddy? The focus tonight is on the recent string of violent incidents around town, and we're hoping to get some real leads."

"Yeah, yeah," Eddy waved him off with a grin, already leaning toward the phone lines with eager anticipation. "But don't forget—conspiracies are *never* irrelevant, Double D. Everything's connected, man!"

Ed, sitting across from them, bounced in his seat. "I hope someone calls in about Bigfoot! Or mummies! Or maybe Bigfoot mummies!"

Edd sighed, shaking his head. "Focus, Ed. We need credible information tonight."

"Alright!" Eddy clapped his hands, flicking a switch to open the lines. "Let's hear what our fine citizens have to say. First caller, you're on the air with the *Big Ed Crime Hour*! What've you got for us?"

The line crackled for a second before a deep, hushed voice came through. "I saw something… down by the old industrial park. Men in masks. Creepy as hell, man."

Eddy leaned forward, excited. "Men in masks, huh? That sounds right up our alley. Can you give us more details? What kind of masks? Were they doing something suspicious?"

There was a pause, the caller hesitant. "I didn't stick around to find out. But… they were wearing black, real tactical-looking gear. Almost military. I don't know what they were doing, but they looked like they were waiting for someone or something. Gave me the creeps, man."

Edd scribbled notes quickly, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Did you see any vehicles? Anything that could help identify who they were?"

"Nah, no vehicles. Just them. There were three of 'em, just standing there. It was weird."

"Thanks for the tip," Eddy said, his voice slightly more serious than usual. "That's exactly the kind of thing we're looking for. Keep your eyes peeled and stay safe out there."

As they hung up, Edd tapped his pencil against the table. "Men in masks by the industrial park… Could be tied to the group that attacked Marie. I'll make a note to pass that along to her."

Ed was quick to chime in. "Maybe they were waiting for a mummy delivery! Or Bigfoot to show up!"

Eddy rolled his eyes. "Sure, Ed. Maybe."

"Next caller!" Eddy hit the button again, and a new voice chimed in. This one sounded shaky, nervous.

"Uh, yeah, so, I didn't see anything myself, but I've been hearing things. People talking. There's been these… meetings. Like, late at night. At fancy places. Rich people in town, you know? They've been acting weird. Secretive."

Eddy's grin widened. "Ahh, now we're getting somewhere. Rich folks, secret meetings, weird behavior. Tell us more! What places? Who's involved?"

The caller paused again, clearly uneasy. "I-I don't want to get too specific… but I work at one of those places. I overheard some things. There's talk of, uh, deals being made. Dangerous deals. I think they're planning something big."

Edd leaned forward. "If you're concerned about your safety, you don't have to give names. But any more details would be helpful. What kind of deals? Are we talking about money, or something else?"

"It's not just money… It's people. Like, they're talking about moving people around. That's all I know, okay? I don't want to get in trouble for saying too much."

The call abruptly ended, leaving a heavy silence in the studio.

Eddy whistled, clearly impressed. "Well, that's juicy. Sounds like someone's running a whole operation out of this town. Could be related to those missing people we've been talking about, moving them around to avoid suspicion. What do you think, Double D?"

"I think we're dealing with something bigger than we originally thought," Edd replied, already making more notes. "It lines up with the rumors we've been hearing about organized crime and human trafficking. We need to dig deeper into these meetings."

The lines were starting to buzz more frequently, with listeners eager to share their stories. Eddy hit the button again.

"Caller, you're on the air!"

This time, the voice was high-pitched and frantic. "They're watching us, man! All of 'em! The government, the lizard people, the Illuminati—they're all in on it!"

Eddy's eyes lit up. "Oooh, a good ol' conspiracy nut. Alright, hit me with it—who's pulling the strings in this town, huh? Is it Kevin, the crooked politicians , or someone bigger?"

"It's *all* of them!" the caller shouted. "Kevin's in with the aliens! They're putting chemicals in the water to control our brains! And don't even get me started on the mayor! That guy's not even human!"

Eddy chuckled, loving every second of the wild rant. "Ahh, the ol' 'reptilian shapeshifter' theory. Classic. I gotta say, you might be onto something there. What do you think, Double D? Lizard people or mind control?"

Edd, trying to keep a straight face, adjusted his mic. "I think we should keep the conversation focused on factual information…"

"Oh, come on, Double D! Live a little!" Eddy turned back to the caller. "So, what's the plan to stop 'em, huh? You gonna lead the revolution?"

"I'm ready! I got a bunker full of canned beans and water purifiers. When the takeover happens, I'll be safe. But you guys—you better watch out. They're already onto you."

Eddy leaned back in his chair, clearly having too much fun. "Noted. We'll keep our eyes peeled for lizard people and government agents. Thanks for the call, buddy!"

The line cut, and Ed burst into laughter. "Lizard people! That's a good one! Maybe Bigfoot is a lizard person in disguise!"

Edd shook his head, but even he couldn't help but chuckle. "While that was entertaining, let's not lose sight of the fact that we've received some legitimate tips tonight. People are noticing strange behavior around town, and we need to follow up on it."

Eddy leaned toward the mic, his tone shifting back to serious. "You heard him, folks. Keep those tips coming. We're connecting the dots, and we're closer than ever to figuring out what's really going on in this town. If you've got anything—anything at all—let us know. We're counting on you."

The show continued with more calls, some useful, some not, but each adding another piece to the growing puzzle. By the end of the night, the Eds had a handful of new leads to follow up on, and the tension in the air was thick. Something big was coming, and they could all feel it.

As they signed off, Eddy leaned back in his chair, a grin spreading across his face. "Buckle up, boys. Things are about to get interesting."