Present Day
Normal was a word she usually tried not to use for herself but in a moment like this Tess couldn't help wondering if other people were as familiar with the sound of their own screams.
She still remembered the first time she'd heard her voice on her fathers old answering machine, how odd it had been to realize what she sounded like to others. How hard she'd tried to change it into something more 'mature' until her mother finally convinced her it was just as much a part of her as her eyes. And as beautiful, though it had taken longer for her to believe that. Had taken a boy who was in love with every part of her for her to accept that love for herself. With the boom of technology in the last two decades it was a fair guess that most people knew the sound of their own voices, but their screams? Maybe that wasn't exclusive to her, in fact she knew it wasn't, that anyone who'd been forced to listen to the echoes of their own shouts would be able to but it still wasn't normal. Because that kind of situation wasn't.
The horrified faces of everyone around her made that clear but she couldn't feel the same. She couldn't feel anything right now. Not Kim or Hailey's hands brushing across her arm and back before they hurried after Liam and Drew, nothing in response to the steely resolve in Vanessa's gaze or by Knox slipping behind her, her self-appointed guard now on high alert. Not until Jay held out his hand and took her own did the world snap back into focus but while the protective assurance in his touch comforted her there was nothing that could stop her heart from sinking as they followed the sound of those screams. Her screams. Her naked body that was being projected onto the building across the street, near every inch of her dripping with blood. Death by a thousand cuts. Except he hadn't been able to kill her. That time, because he clearly wanted to try again.
Myasnik.
She hadn't known he'd videoed this. Hadn't seen a camera and she'd looked for anything to use to her advantage but then it hadn't taken long for her to become near blind with pain. And rage. About the same way Jay looked right now, though she couldn't fully tear her eyes away from the scene until she heard Voight giving orders.
"Go in pairs." Tess managed to croak out, surprised she wasn't breaking Jay's arm with how tightly she held it but then his hand on her back was just as firm, though it was their team she gave her attention to. "Do not engage physically. Kill shots only."
She held Adam's stare the longest, the most likely not to listen but whether he believed her or just wanted to appease her he nodded, and kept Kim close at his side as the group split up. But truth be told her warning wasn't necessary. They wouldn't find him. Not unless he wanted to be found and that wouldn't come until later. Once he'd had his fun. To what end she didn't know, he wasn't here on Bratva business, not unless Dimi had been killed and she didn't know about it but whatever it was he wanted…
She might not be able to stop him from getting it. And that was a terrifying thought but the one that soothed her was the surety that she would make him pay for it. They would, because when she stepped forward to make that promise Jay stayed by her side.
Every life he took would be paid back with his own.
She knew what he wanted. To torment her, psychologically first until he moved onto actual torture, of anyone close to her until he was able to get his hands on her. And he would have to at some point because while no one would want him to get her she knew that he wouldn't stop until he did and tonight's massacre was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to what he was capable of. But while all of that worried her, terrified her thinking someone else would get hurt defending her it wasn't what was making her blood run cold. That would be what she didn't know. Which was why he was here. She'd known he'd never been able to get past being forced to let her go, that he considered her an unfinished project but it had been two years since they'd last seen each other, four since he'd had her in his grasp. Why come after her now?
What had made him decide his revenge was worth more than his allegiance?
Who?
Tess knew she wasn't going to get those answers tonight but she was doing her best to ignore the very real reality that she might not get them at all. She was tired of being left in the dark, of second guessing every shadow, and now every spark of brightness too. It was time to start fighting back. Just in a few minutes, because there was another conversation she needed to have first.
Jay might be quiet right now but he couldn't hide his worry, or his rage, but he was quick to shove it down when they finally parked, taking her hand with a tenderness that was at odds with the determination in his hunter eyes. "Tess-"
"I didn't know." She said quietly, not an explanation but it was harder than she wanted it to be to push the words out, especially when he was looking at her so softly.
"No one could have-"
"I didn't know he filmed it."
Just like that his face froze, the softness not disappearing but warring with his anger and disgust, both of which took him a minute to swallow before he focused back on her; she was grateful for that, in this moment, but knew she was going to have to make sure he got the same attention. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't care about the video. Or what he did. I just… I didn't want you to think I was hiding it from you."
"I wouldn't care if you had." He said softly, his thumb gently brushing across the back of her hand as he dipped his chin to catch her eye. "What you went through is yours to process and yours to share. When and if you want."
Exactly what she'd known he would say but it still made her unbelievably relieved to hear him say it.
There was just one more thing she needed.
"What… what would you do, or think… if we didn't find our way back to each other by chance?"
It hurt Tess to watch him have the same realization she had, to consider that what he'd believed to be an act of fate very well may have been engineered, and not even by someone they loved who at least would have had good intentions. To think it may have been done with the express purpose of hurting them, to bring them together just so the knife would go even deeper when they were torn apart…
Jay didn't like it, not in the slightest, but with a small huff she knew he didn't care. More than that, he thought it was going to blow up in their faces. "I think it was their biggest mistake. Second biggest because going after you was the dumbest thing they could have done."
Again exactly how she'd thought he would respond. Almost verbatim and that was nice, a reminder of the innate understanding they had of one another that pushed back if not all then most of her fears. That bolstered her own determination and the certainty that no matter what so long as they were together they would be okay.
"As for what I would do…" He continued, a confident smirk growing on his lips as he looked her over. "We are going to make them regret those choices."
We're going to win.
It seemed impossible. But… it also seemed inevitable. She supposed it all depended on how they defined victory. Besting everyone who tried to come at them was one way, but not the one she was worried about; injured though she was right now Tess trusted her abilities, and she trusted those of the people on her side. But getting through all those fights unscathed… There was no way some of them wouldn't get hurt and no way all that pain would be emotional. No way some of them wouldn't be lost and that made her want to start screaming, as loud and rageful as she had with Volya.
But she didn't. Because that wouldn't change anything. And because she believed now that this fight wasn't her fault.
That was whoever had started it and she was going to make them regret that decision.
"They're so fucked." She whispered and Jay was grinning before she'd finished speaking, sliding a hand into her hair as he pulled her closer.
They had this.
