Friend or Woe


Blade Zero69: To answer a question from Sparkletina. Lily Loud grew because of Izaiah's powers that I had so she doesn't need medical attention.


Eerie music plays in the background as Wednesday could be heard narrating.

Wednesday (narrating): Let's assess, shall we? Bag over my head for optimal disorientation.

Someone in a hooded robe pulls off the mask that was covering Wednesday's face.

Wednesday: Wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation, and no idea if I'm going to live or die.

Ravens can be heard from a recorder as a projection of a raven flies across her body as Wednesday looks like she doesn't have the time and doesn't want to even do this.

Wednesday: It's definitely my kind of party.

???: Who dares breacg our inner sanctum?

Wednesday: You can take the mask off, Bianca.

Bianca takes the hood off while she is wearing the Nightshades mask.

Wednesday (narrating): And just like that, my hopes were dashed against the rocks of bitter disappointment.

Everyone takes their hood and masks off once Wednesday was able to tell that Bianca was in the middle.

Wednesday (narrating): My foe was no psychotic killer. More like a bunch of high school clowns. (Out loud) Wait, I preferred you with it on.

Xavier: How did you get down here?

Wednesday: Rowan showed me. Left pocket.

Xavier walks up to the tied up Wednesday and fishes his hand into her left pocket. He pulls out half a page that has Wednesday standing on the side of it with Nevermore burning behind her.

Wednesday: I tracked the watermark to the Poe statue. Well, Alexa and Eveline did give me some insight. I solved the riddle right after.

Kent: Wait, there's a riddle? I thought we just snapped twice.

Everyone groans at Kent's stupidty.

Wednesday: Well, aren't you the brightest in the bunch.

Bianca: The Nightshades are an elite social club. Emphasis on elite.

Yoko: We have roof-parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny-dip.

Divina: And Yoko's an amateur mixologist.

Ajax: She makes a killer virgin mojito. It can get pretty wild.

Wednesday: Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime? Last I heard, the Nightshades had been disbanded.

Xavier: Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died.

Yoko: But we have a lot of wealthy alumni, so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes any waves.

Wednesday: Someone like Rowab?

Bianca: We booted that loser last semester. Question is, what are we gonna do with her? Only members are allowed in this libary.

After a deep silence of them thinking of what to do, Xavier speaks up.

Xavier: I say we invite her to the pledge.

Bianca's eyes widen at Xavier's suggestion.

Xavier: She is a legacy.

He points to a picture of Gomez and Morticia.

Xavier: And if Alexa is right, then she also has some of his blood within her.

He points to a painting with me in it. I'm sitting in front of a lake with Omni in the ground.

Xavier: She might be one of the greatest Nightshades ever.

Bianca: After the crap she pulled in the Poe Cup, there's no way in hell. We talk about bot making waves? She's a tsunami.

Wednesday: My ancestor...Just because I beat you at your own game? Let me save you the trouble. I'm not interested in joining.

Yoko: You're seriously turning us down?

Wednesday: Can you believe it?

Bianca: Untie her.

Wednesday raises up one of her hands with the rope in it.

Wednesday: I freed myself five mintues ago.

She stands up and looks up at Xavier who gives her the page back. She takes one good look at my painting again. The Nightshades notice how she is eyeing my painting with such rigor. She walks up to the painting and looks it up and down. She notices two names on it: "Blade and Goody Addams." She makes a mental reminder to make sure she asks Alexa a question. She walks back to the stairs but Kent moves in front of her.

Wednesday: Do you want a matching black eye?

She puts the rope on his chest and he moves out the way. She walks up the steps but stops and looks back at them.

Wednesday: It's amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.

With that, she leaves. Back in her dorm she flips through the book until she reaches a certain page. She places the page she had into it and lined it up. She questions why she'd be sharing Nevermore's apocalypse with a pilgrim. Weems talks about Outreach Day and how the time. Enid tells Wednesday she got Pilgrim's World and Wednesday has Uriah's Heap and Enid says that it fits Wednesday's style.

Wednesday: Have you seen Alexa anytime soon?

Enid: I haven't. It's like she's gone, you want me to send her text?

Wednesday: No, I'll ask her myself when I see her.

Enid: I'm crossing my claws Ajax and I will be outreaching together.


Dvjsfh.

Blade Zero69: What the?

Sapgoaghbsighienaroqowfjnfmskzck!!

Blade Zero69: This is strange.

In a bedroom Blade Zero69 is looking at his phone while typing the story. Something or, someone has taken over his story?

Blade Zero69: This isn't funny! Whoever has taken ober my story come out right now and face justice! Unless you're Izaiah Zero, otherwise do whatever you want.

S ffjj. Eodgorisnsnwhaghotnabwtntj dhjwq fff jk d. Krrrrrrr. Tsssshhhh.

Blade Zero69: No, there's no way.

Heels clicking can be heard across the floor as Blade Zero69 can see who it is. Her hair, bounces with every step like there is a current that surronds her. Her shorts highlight her perfect, round shaped ass. The way her boots sparkle-

Blade Zero69: I am not the one writing any of the descriptions you saw. But, Alexa? Why?

Alexa looks around before she blushes from embarrassment.

Alexa: I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

Narrator: 800 septillon "so's" later.

Alexa: So so so so so so so sorry, 69!! I didn't mean to cause any snippet or any sort of pressure that disturbed the story! I was walking around and then I saw a shiny button and I walked towards it and I pressed it-

Blade Zero69 (genuinely and utterly confused): Why are you here?

Alexa: ...Oh yeah, I was actually coming here anyway to tell you something.

Blade Zero69: Yeah?

Alexa: If you are able to find Bladie I want you to bring him to me and I want to apologize. I miss him so much!! And I had some black liquid or something. Forgot what it was try to corrupt me but I think I'm too pure.

Blade Zero69: What?

Alexa: Thank you! Love you 69, buh-bye!!

Alexa blows a kiss to him and she leaves.

Blade Zero69: That was weird.

After he said that multiple lipstick kiss marks appear all over his body.

Blade Zero69: Not surprised.


Alexa is sitting on a star after being with the author. She reads a book that's in her lap as she takes in the contents.

Alexa: How did Bladie be the Head of The Table for so long?! I just want to fucking kill someone! Wait, I don't wanna kill anyone unless they obvi deserve it.

Alexa lays down on the star as she puts the book down next to her. She groans as she starts to think of what I done in almost 900 years.

Alexa: Damn, he really did a lot. But I just kicked him out... I didn't exactly kick him out though but, I kinda did. I still feel guilty.

She grabs the book and teleports back to Jericho and is met with my enemy that still hasn't finished his story Sun.

Sun: Hey.

Alexa: Sun? What are you doing here?

Sun: I'm here to give you my thanks. I didn't do that before I left so I'm doing it now. I thank you for beating Blade.

Alexa: Well, I only did what I had to do. You did help a lot even if you don't know it.

Sun: I did? Did it involve me and Kaila wearing our old gear?

Alexa nods as she puts a hand on his shoulder. She gives him one of her infamous smiles that could bring positivity to anyone.

Alexa: You not only made the reason why it was a normal match. But you also helped him finish his own story.

Sun: I guess I did.

Alexa: Come here.

She brings Sun in for a hug and he blushes since he never an opportunity to even hug her. He hugs her back while taking in her perfume. The sweet fragrance fills his nostrils up as his mind is full of candy, flowers, the sun, the rainbow, and many more things. Alexa pulls away with a smile. She gives him a quick peck on the check and giggles.

Alexa: Bye! See you soon!

Alexa turns away leaving a blushing Sun behind. Sun soon departs after getting his bearings back. Alexa walks around Jericho and is bombarded with people asking for her autograph and a picture. She does all of that and spots Wednesday walking into Pilgrim World. So being the person that she is she teleports right in front of Wednesday. Wednesday walks past Alexa and Alexa follows her.

Alexa: What are you doing here at Pilgrim World? Is it Outreach Day?

Wednesday: I'd rather not answer trivial questions but, I need to ask you a question that might seem trivial to you.

Wednesday stops and turns around looking slightly up at the pink haired woman. (Blade Zero69: Alexa is like...5'2" tall. And she is 5'3" when she has her normal shoes on.)

Alexa: Ask away!

Wednesday: Are we related?

Alexa: Nani? What brought this up?

Wednesday: Answer my question.

Alexa: I mean...my family is really big so it's trivial. But you are related to me. Wait, you're my niece!!

Alexa goes for a hug but Wednesday moves out of the way.

Alexa: You will be a hugger one day!

Wednesday: That day will never come. Even if I'm dead.

Alexa groans as she puts her book away into her infinite backpack.

Wednesday: So, about me being your niece...

Alexa: Well...Blade and Goody fucked so-

The dark haired girl cuts her off.

Wednesday: I don't need to know that. If I really am related to Blade would I have powers or not? That's what I'm asking.

Alexa: It happened before he left so...maybe.

(Blade Zero69: I'm just gonna say it because I don't know if you caught on. But, they're lies everywhere. And no one besides one man knows the truth but he refuses to share it. Even with his own son. If you can piece together what're the truths before I reveal and you might will. I will be impressed.)

Wednesday sighs as she looks around.

Wednesday: Enid switched with me after I told her Ajax would be volunteering at Uriah's Heep. I'm here to uncover the truth about the girl that looked like me and maybe some more about Crackstone.

She walks off leaving a slightly despondent Alexa.

Alexa: She didn't hear me say that her ancestor is Goody. Welp, just gotta make sure she's safe.

After meeting with Mistress Arlene, she shows them the meeting house with a collection of artifacts that's related to Jericho's so called "most beloved and pious founder." More like a bitch that couldn't stand Outcasts and is the sole reason why Outcasts get hate and the main reason I wanna fucking defile all his artifacts, destroy anything and everyone that's somehow related to him because I wanna fucking...sorry, rambling on about the shitface known as, Joseph Crackstone. And she also shows them America's first gender-neutral bathroom or whatever.

Wednesday: I haveth a query.

Mistress Arlene: Pray, be quick, child.

Wednesday: In the meeting house, which of Joseph Crackstone's artifacts are on display?

Mistress Arlene: It is truly a treasure trove, including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family chamber pot.

Wednesday: Sounds fascinating. I volunteer to work in there.

She turns to go to the meeting house but Mistress Arlene stops her.

Mistress Arlene: Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated. Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World.

In Uriah's Heep, Enid and Ajax look at the dead animals and they try to go on an extended coffee break. But they end up brushing a family of ferrets at a clambake to freshen up the fur. After working at "Ye Olde Fudgery" and telling guests about the oppressed indigenous people making the fudge and the money going to uphold the pathetic place of Pilgrim World, also telling them that fudge wasn't even invented for another 258 years. Alexa sighs as she watches the goth girl gives a smirk to Mistress Arlene. Eugene is eating all the fudge he was supposed to give out as samples besides two pieces. He ends up getting caught by Lucas and his gang. Wednesday and Alexa spot them and Wednesday takes them out. At the meeting house.

Alexa: Let me just...

Alexa picks the lock and opens the door as she and Wednesday walk inside with Eugene keeping watch. The two, with Thing, look around the meeting house until they find Codex Umbrarum. Latin for "Book of Shadows."

Alexa: I can tell by not even opening it, that's a fake.

Wednesday turns the book around to the back and spots Etsy.

Wednesday: I don't know who Esty is, but I doubt she was an outcast settler.

They end up getting caught by Mistress Arlene. With Enid and Ajax. After getting through Ajax's dense skull that she wants to go on a date with him. She ends up securing a date by sneaking behind the greenhouse where students go to makeout. Wednesday asks Tyler where the meeting house is at the cafe and she ends up going by herself. She meets an old man who ends up running away after Thing is involved. She has a vision despite touching numerous things, she ends up in Jericho 1625. Villagers scream "burn her!" and "devil spawn!" while a girl is getting pushed around and grunting. She gets pushed to the ground as the villagers make room for someone.

Crackstone: Goody Addams! You have been judged before God and found guilty. You are a witch, a sorceress, Lucifer's mistress herself. For your sins, you will burn this night, and suffer the flames of eternal hellfire.

Goody: I am innocent. It is you, Joseph Crackstone, that should be tried. We were here before you, living in harmony with nature and the native folk. But you have stolen our land. You have slaughtered the innocent. You robbed us of our peaceful spirit.

Goody pulls out a secret pocketknife.

Goody: And when my boyfriend finds out about this he will destroy you. You are the true monster. All of you!

She stands up and slices his face.

Crackstone: The Devil ne'er sent such a demon.

He backhands her and Goody cries out.

Crackstone: And I will send you back!

The villagers clamor together and throw Goody into the house with the other outcasts. Wednesday is able to sneak her way in. He throws Goody onto the floor.

Crackstone: You are abominations in the Devil's grip!! I will not stop till I have expunged this New World of every outcast. Godless creatures!

The doors close as the captives cry out to Crackstone and the other pilgrims.

Crackstone: Set it ablaze!

Terrified screaming can be heard as the meeting house is set on fire. Goody looks around until she spots someone and makes her way towards her.

Goody: Mother! Mother.

Chains rattle as Goody tries to free her mother.

Goody's Mother: There's no time, child. Leave me. Save yourself. He's chained us all to the floor.

Goody: I shan't leave without you.

Goody's Mother: Run. Avenge us. Find the others, your boyfriend, save our future.

She lets out a cough as the smoke gets into her lungs.

Goody's Mother: Please. My sweet lamb. Run. Run as fast as you can. You are our only hope.

Goody turns and leaves her mother as Wednesday keeps her eyes on her. Goody moves past other outcasts until she reaches a trapdoor, taking a look back, hopping into the hole and closes the trapdoor. Wednesday lets out a few coughs as she is in the forest and spots Goody running up to her and grabbing her by the shoulders.

Goody: He won't stop until he's killed us all! (Snaps her head to look behind Wednesday) He's here.

Wednesday turns around and sees Crackstone walking with his stick. Menacing gurgling plays as he walks towards the two.

Crackstone: There will be no escape for you.

Wednesday falls back and wakes up in the rain on the ground. She stands up upon hearing a noise and goes to check through the cracks in a wall. She looks back at thing and suggests it was the bearded man from before. A creature snarls as it's eye appears in the same crack and causes Wednesday to gasp. She runs away with Thing and meets up with Xavier and she tells him that she found out the monster is human but the rain washed them away. Back at the town square Weems and Mayor Walker show off a new memorial statue for Crackstone. Wednesday and the band start palying a peppy arrangement of "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. Wednesday looks at Thing who scurries away.

BOOM!!!

The statue explodes as the crowd panics and run away. Wednesday draws out agitated notes with a smirk on her face. Then she starts playing an intensed arrangement of Vivaldi's "Winter." And some dude that's sleeping stays asleep through the whole thing. The song trails off as the fire melts the statue's face.


Alexa is sitting on her bed while she's on her phone talking with Leah.

Alexa: You need me?

Leah (over the phone): Yes, we have a situation. That needs your help.

Alexa: What about?

Leah (over the phone): Something is going on and we need your help. We need you to form a team, you need to form-

Alexa: A Bloodline.

Alexa smirks, malevolently at the camera as the scene changes to Ajax stoning himself and Enid being stood up.

Alexa: I think we have our entertainment.


Blade Zero69: I am totally not switching gears because I'm lazy and don't want to write chapters based off a show while-

Neptune: Yes you are.

Blade Zero69: Yeah, I am. If you watched Wednesday you know what happens. And in my other book "Loud House Unknown: Zero's Journey." It is mentioned that there is no more plot armor.