Chapter 16
Nellie
Somewhere in the Atlantic
April 13, 1912

Nellie held her hat against her head as she walked along the promenade decks. Leana had forgotten to pack her hat pins which was quite an inconvenient mistake considering the ferocity of this morning's winds. With her other hand she was clumsily pushing Isla's pram while Callen ran ahead, peeking into various windows to see what was inside.

"Can we go to the library?" he asked when they found shelter from the wind inside the enclosed deck space.

"I don't see why not," she replied, fixing her hat. She took out a pin from the knot at the base of her neck and did her best to pin the hat against her head, knowing full well it would be in vain. "But I was hoping to find Jock since he missed breakfast."

Callen shuffled his feet. "He's probably still feeling seasick."

Nellie scoffed. "I'm sure that's what he told you to tell me. Just as long as he didn't get you mixed up in his antics…"

"Me? Get Callen in trouble? Really, Nellie, give me some credit."

Nellie and Callen turned to see Jock coming towards them, fully dressed and not looking at all ill. In fact, he was the most cheerful Nellie had seen him this entire voyage. When he approached them, he picked up a cooing Isla from her pram, planting a kiss on her cheek before clapping Callen's shoulder.

"You should have gone to the library yesterday," he said to Callen. "Teddy and I played for over an hour!"

Callen pouted. "Well then, nevermind. There goes my plans for the day." He turned to Nellie, crossing his arms. "There's nothing fun to do in second class. First class has all the privileges!"

"Aye, you better get used to that as you'll be setting yourself up for a world of disappointment," Jock said, ruffling the boy's hair. "Imagine if you were traveling in steerage!"

Callen's eyes lit up and he ran to Nellie, taking her hands. "I'll go see Tommy!" he exclaimed. "And play another game of cards!"

"Mr. Ryan," Nellie corrected. "I'm not sure he's available for another game of cards right now."

Callen kicked a pebble lying on the deck, shoving his hands in his pockets and pouting even more. It was difficult for Nellie to say no to Callen, especially as he was still recovering from his father's death. He had an explosive temper, something she was trying to navigate carefully.

Jock could apparently see the tension between them, for he put Isla back in her pram and went over to Callen. "If you come to the band's concert tonight before dinner, you might see this Mr. Ryan. We're giving a concert for steerage to get a break from first and second class."

"Oh, please Stepma?" Callen said, no longer pouting. "I'm sure they'll be playing better music than the stiff collars."

Nellie looked at Jock, comforting Isla as she began to cry. "Is he right?" she asked him.

He grinned. "As a matter of fact, yes. We've got a nice bit of folk tunes lined up. I'll probably drag you into playing with us when we get to some Scottish reels."

Nellie rolled her eyes, but there was a smile playing around her lips. She had enjoyed their impromptu concert in second class the other night. Their father had given up on her music lessons early on and they had taken an even greater toll when she was taking care of her mother. And after her marriage and taking over management of the hotel, any excuse she had to play she would take advantage of.

"Very well," Nellie said. "Callen, let's go back to the room so I can put Isla down for a nap. Then perhaps we can do some exploring."

"Can't I stay with Uncle Jock?" Callen asked.

"I'm afraid not," Jock answered. "I've got to get to the first class restaurant for a brief rehearsal and I still haven't eaten breakfast! We can spend time together after the concert this evening."

Callen nodded, clearly reassured. Jock kissed Nellie on the cheek and left as quickly as he came, disappearing into one of the nearby doorways.

"What would you like to do?" Nellie asked as they turned around, walking back towards the second class rooms. "Did you still want to go to the library? Isla looks tired, I'm sure she'll sleep for over an hour. Plenty of time for us to have some fun."

"Do you think we could go up to the bridge?" Callen asked excitedly. "Da always told me how great ships like these worked. I'd like to meet the captain."

Nellie gave a small smile at the mention of her late husband. "We'll see, but I'm not sure if second class passengers are allowed there without an escort."

"Nellie!"

Both Nellie and Callen turned around. Coming towards them dressed in a day suit and bowler hat was Caledon Hockley, smiling brightly. Nellie's cheeks flushed upon seeing him, thinking of the money stashed away in her pocket that he had given her last night. She remembered the way his breath had tickled her ear when he had given it to her, how his brown eyes had never looked away from her as they had talked at dinner. She checked her hat, which was slightly lopsided from the wind and her makeshift hat pin. How she wished she had brought nicer dresses for this voyage…

"Good morning, Callen," Cal said, shaking his hand. Callen seemed reluctant at the gesture, raising an eyebrow at Nellie in the process. Cal turned to Nellie, his smile still planted across his face. "Good morning, I didn't mean to surprise you."

"Good morning, Mr. Hockley," she replied. She clutched the handle of Isla's pram even tighter, trying to restrain herself from fixing her hat once again.

"Mr. Hockley?" He laughed. "I told you last night to call me Cal!"

Nellie glanced at Callen. He was watching them both closely. While Callen and she had their disagreements with one another, Nellie was truly the only family the boy had left. With her recent husband's death and having to care for her children in addition to the hotel, there had been no opportunity for Nellie to get out and socialize, especially with men. This was the first time Callen had seen a man other than his father make advances to her and it was clear it was making them both uncomfortable.

"Shouldn't we be getting back to the room?" Callen said, taking Isla's pram from Nellie. "Leana will be waiting for us."

"Actually, it's not a coincidence we stumbled upon each other," Cal said, stepping between them. Callen scowled, moving himself protectively in front of Isla's pram as he did so. "I thought I would be pushing my luck trying to find your brother. I can only imagine how busy his schedule might be."

Nellie raised her eyebrows. "You need to find Jock?"

"I almost gave up until I saw you," Cal said, stepping even closer to her.

"Uncle Jock's busy," Callen said coolly. "But he'll be playing in the first class restaurant during luncheon. I'm sure you could talk to him then."

"I'm sure you could answer my question," Cal said to Nellie, not acknowledging Callen had spoken at all. "You see, Rose is a rather gifted singer and when we get married I'd like to buy her a new piano for my home in Pittsburgh. The one in the first class dining room is exquisite. Would you be able to help me find out what it is?"

The mention of Cal's fiancee seemed to have alleviated Callen's suspicion, as he relaxed and stepped away from the pram.

"I'm sure Jock is the person to ask," Nellie said, glancing over her shoulder at the direction in which her brother had gone. "It's been years since I've spent any real time at a piano."

"Nonsense," Cal said, taking her arm in his. "Besides, if I ask Jock while Rose is around, she'll become suspicious. This is my only opportunity."

Nellie glanced at Callen and Isla, the latter of which had fallen asleep in her pram. "Very well," she said. "But I really only have a few minutes. I need to take my baby back to our room for her nap."

"Oh, this won't take long," Cal reassured her. She glanced down at her arm in the crook of his elbow. As much as the money in her pocket felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, there was something irresistible about the idea of returning to the first class dining room with one of the wealthiest men on the ship.

"Stay here with Isla," Nellie said to Callen. "If I'm not back in five minutes, take her back to the room."

Callen nodded, but Nellie could tell he felt uneasy about the situation. It was very unlike him to take such a protective stance towards her. Her husband had always been a good judge of character and she suspected her stepson had inherited the same gift. But as Cal held open the door to A-Deck and gave her a dazzling smile, she was at his mercy. They made their way down to D-Deck, the rooms around The Grand Staircase being mostly abandoned as it was still too early for luncheon. They chatted lightly, Cal making her laugh several times. They came to the piano, a full nine-foot grand that reflected the various silver plates and cups scattered around the room.

"Aye, it's a Steinway," she said, pointing to the company's name that was inscribed on the inside. "It's no surprise The White Star Line can afford to put one of these on the ship."

"Ah, silly me," Cal said, his hand lightly running over the lid. "I'm not sure how I missed that when the name's here, clear as day." He paused for a moment, staring at her, before saying, "Would you play something?"

Nellie blushed. "I dare not. I'm here as Jock's guest. The last thing I want is to get in trouble on this opportunity of a lifetime."

Cal held up his hands. "Just thought I'd ask."

As Nellie glanced around, she realized they were rather hidden in this corner of the room. The piano lid was up and there were several potted plants around the bench that must have been moved there by the stewards. She decided to take advantage of the fact they had been given some privacy away from prying eyes and ears.

"I'm sure Miss Bukater will love this piano," she said, brushing some of the branches away as she sat on the bench. She knew she had promised Callen she'd be back soon, but this might be her last chance to talk to this first class gentleman and she didn't want to waste it.

Cal rolled his eyes, leaning on the piano. "Please, Nellie. The last thing I want to talk about is Rose after last night. This was all just an excuse to get you alone."

Nellie's heart began to race. "Why? What happened last night?"

He let out a long sigh before lighting a cigarette. "I found her last night at the stern of the ship being attacked by a young man from steerage."

"My God!" Nellie said. "Was she alright?"

He took a long drag. "She claimed he saved her from falling overboard, but that's not what it looked like when they were discovered. Regardless, I invited him to dine with us tonight for… saving her."

"Well, I guess that's why they call your lot gentlemen," she said, but Cal remained stoic despite her teasing.

"She went to her room last night after the incident, shut the door, and barely spoke to me this morning," he continued. He locked eyes with her, coming to where she was sitting and leaning lazily on the instrument. "I'd rather hoped you would've come to my room last night."

Her heart began to race even faster.

"Mr. Hockley— Cal," she said. "I have a baby and my stepson. I can't—"

"But I know you have a nursemaid," Cal said, placing a hand on top of hers. "You're on the grandest ship in the world! Why not have a bit of fun?"

She stared at his hand and then back at his seductive eyes. It was so difficult to resist him, and there was a strong desire to just give in and forget everything. There had never been a wanting like this from her husband and she had spent her whole life not knowing what it was like to be wooed by a man. The fact that this man, with everything she could ever dream of, had fixated himself on her, a widow with two children, was more flattering than she would ever dare let anyone know.

As she thought this, nearly placing her other hand on top of Cal's, she remembered the look Jock had given her at dinner the previous evening. This was just an impulse. This man was looking for fun, used to getting what he wanted yet frustrated by his fiancee who did not conform to his wishes. Nellie must have seemed like the perfect chance, away from society in the middle of the ocean with no opportunities for rumors to spread. But when they reached New York, that would be it. Cal would go to Pittsburgh with Miss Bukater and Nellie would return to Dumfries with Callen and Isla to continue to run her late husband's hotel. The whole thing was impractical, no matter how much either person denied it.

"If we didn't live in the real world, I'd love a bit of fun," Nellie said at last, pulling her hand away. "But you have your obligations to your fiancee, no matter what she might think of you, and I have my family to take care of."

Cal's face hardened at her response. She had clearly touched a sore spot by continuing to mention his fiancee. She stood up and gave a gentle smile, trying to ease the tension. "I wish you luck, Cal," she said. "I do hope we meet again someday." She took out the money in her pocket and laid it on the piano keys, only for her hand to be snatched by his.

"Why rush away?" he said, bringing a hand to her cheek to tuck away a piece of her hair. "No one needs to know. Besides, my room is abandoned right now."

Nellie felt her heart drop. Not because of what he was suggesting, but because for the first time she realized the severity of the situation she'd gotten herself into. A middle-class girl like herself simply couldn't walk away from a man of influence like Caledon Hockley. There would be consequences, and as she studied his expression, she was certain he was going to make her pay.