Chapter 59
Nellie
Dumfries
Late July, 1912

Nellie sat on the edge of the bed and let out a sigh of relief when she was finally able to buckle her suitcase closed. It was a strange feeling to think this would be the last night she would spend in the hotel, the last time she would sleep in the bed she had shared with her late husband. Isla was sleeping in her crib as the hour was late and Nellie tiptoed down to the hotel lobby, happy to have a moment's peace after the many weeks of packing and preparing for the trip to America. Tomorrow she would travel to Liverpool to board a liner to America with Isla. Callen would stay here in Dumfries. Her husband's cousins had offered to take him in and the idea of moving to America without Jock accompanying them convinced Callen to stay. It pained Nellie to part with him, but she knew it was what his father would have wanted. Callen knew it too, for he insisted he would be alright when Nellie had dropped him off at his new home earlier that morning. She had been shocked to see tears in his eyes when he had kissed Isla goodbye.

She had written to Tommy but had received no reply. She had questioned if she had remembered his cousin's address incorrectly, but also suspected he had given up on her completely since she had returned to Dumfries. She decided that if Tommy didn't reply, she would carve out a life of her own in New York. She'd written to a foundation in Queens who were helping immigrants like herself find housing and work. It helped that she was also a Titanic survivor, as she was surprised by how quickly they had helped find a small apartment for her and Isla to live in. With the money earned from selling her husband's hotel, she was able to put down the first six months' rent towards a small, one bedroom apartment in Ridgewood. Just down the street was a nursery for Isla and a small hat shop where Nellie had already landed a job.

And her father would remain an entire ocean away.

This was the first time in her entire life Nellie had full autonomy of her decisions. This was only the beginning of her journey, as she was fascinated by the American Dream and understood why this was the country Tommy had chosen to escape to. It was clear bigger things awaited her than being the discarded eldest daughter of the Hume family.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a banging on the front door. She begrudgingly got up from her plush armchair next to the roaring fire in the hearth. Did the person outside really not see the closed sign? Nellie had sold the hotel to the manager and it would be closed for the next month while Nellie moved out and new renovations were made. Even the staff had been given a paid month's leave to empty the place out.

When the door opened, a boy nearly tumbled inside. Nellie brought a hand to her mouth, shocked to see it was Callen twisting his cap in his hands.

"What on earth are you doing here?" she cried, ushering him in. "Do your cousins know you're here?"

Callen nodded. "I had to come see you."

Nellie brought him to the fire, taking his cap and offering him a cup of tea. She could see the teacup shaking in his hands, looking down at his lap.

"Come now, what is it?" she asked, sitting next to him.

"I don't want you to leave me," he said, his voice breaking as he looked up at her, his eyes swimming with tears. "I've already lost Da and Uncle Jock. You left Tommy in New York but now you're going back to him!"

"I'm not going back to America because of Tommy," she interrupted. There was no use trying to hide anything from her stepson. He would be fourteen in a couple of months and was old enough to understand what had happened when they had been in America together. "I've written to him but received no reply. I'm going there to start a new life on my own."

"You're not going on your own," Callen said. "You'll have Isla there with you. And me."

Nellie's mouth fell open. "What are you saying?"

"I know you bought an extra ticket for the train to Liverpool and for the voyage," he said. "Kate told me."

It was true. Nellie had not wanted to leave Callen. Her love for him had been realized that terrible night when she didn't know what had happened to him. And through the loss of Jock, their bond had only grown during their time on the Carpathia and in the Jane Hotel. Callen was no longer her ward, but her son.

"Aye," she said, wiping away a tear. "I prayed to God you would come with me."

Noisily setting the cup down, Callen threw himself into her arms. They both laughed as Nellie held him close, smelling the sweet scent of his hair and thanking God for this beautiful memory in her late husband's hotel. She would forever remember her first husband with Callen by her side.

"Go fetch your things, lad," she said. "I'll not be separated from you one more night. You can sleep here and we'll be off for Liverpool first thing in the morning.

Even in July in Scotland, the sun was barely peeking over the horizon when Nellie, Callen, and Isla arrived at the train station the following morning. It was eerie being back at this place, a morbid reminder the last time they had left this specific train station was to go see Jock in Southampton, only to return home without him. Nellie had to admit she was feeling quite nostalgic this time around. This would be a true goodbye to her homeland, knowing this might be the last time she would stand on Scottish soil. It would also be the first time she would travel with both children alone, already missing Leana's company. But as she glanced at Callen who was helping load their luggage onto a nearby train cart, she was reminded that he was no longer a boy. The sinking had changed him, just as it had changed all of Titanic's survivors. He had been thrust into manhood at the meager age of thirteen, ready to take on whatever the world threw at him.

She was pleasantly surprised to see Grace, Kate, and Mary waiting at the station, throwing themselves in Nellie's arms and showering both Isla and Callen with kisses.

"We'll miss you terribly, Nellie," Kate said, sobbing. "Dumfries will never be the same with both you and Jock gone."

Nellie kissed her younger sister. "Go easy on Alice. Not for Da's sake, but for Grace and Andy's sake. Your hot temper always got us all in trouble."

This made Kate laugh through her tears. Nellie spent a few minutes longer embracing her sisters before turning to Mary.

"You'll always be my sister, too," Nellie said, gently placing a hand on Mary's belly. "And this little one needs to know their Aunt Nellie loves them so much."

Mary, usually so stoic, was fighting back tears as she pulled her into a hug. "Write as much as you can," she whispered. "I'll miss you terribly too."

Nellie pulled her back just slightly so they could stare at one another. "Write to me when the baby's born," she said. "And don't stop from pursuing the Titanic Relief Fund. I'll testify for you if it comes to that. Don't let my father bully you into silence. We all know Jock loved you and his child deserves to know that as well."

Mary squeezed her hands before stepping back. Just as Nellie was getting ready to board the train, she was shocked to see her father and Andy standing at the entrance to the station. Andy ran to her and she kissed and hugged him, feeling as if this embrace was between a mother and son rather than brother and sister.

"I love you, Nellie," Andy said. "Please come back to visit us."

"I'll try to come back when Mary's baby is born," she said, knowing her father was within earshot. "And you all are welcome to come visit me in America when I'm settled."

Her siblings and Mary gave her one last hug before exiting the station, leaving her alone with her father. She motioned for Callen to take Isla on the train, knowing they only had minutes before it left.

"Goodbye, Nellie," her father said, putting his hands behind his back and standing stiff as a board.

"Goodbye, Da," she said softly.

"Will you really go to that man?" he asked in a low voice, his eyes searching.

Nellie pursed her lips. "Right now I'm going to America to start a new life on my own. But if I hear from him, yes. I'll happily go to him."

Her father sniffed. "I guess that's how they do things in America."

"I'll write to Grace," Nellie said, ignoring his comment. "Don't make any more enemies, Da. Please let Jock rest in peace. Let Mary and Jock's child live in peace too."

Her father said nothing. For a moment, Nellie pondered if she should kiss him goodbye. But as she studied her father, she could tell he had not come here to make peace with her. He had come to ease his own conscience after the terrible things he had last said to her.

She simply turned around and boarded the train, not bothering to look back. That would be her revenge. Knowing she was going forward while her father could only look as she walked away.