Nessie thought she understood the cold. She'd grown up with vampires. Hugging her parents was like embracing a pillar of ice. She had never experienced any displeasure with the sensation. She could go outside on a winter day without any discomfort.

For the first time in her life, as she lay alone in Jacob's bed, she couldn't escape the violent shivers that rippled through her body. She felt like she was the epicenter of a never-ending earthquake.

She burrowed deeper beneath the blankets, but it did nothing to alleviate the chill that sunk deep into her bones.

She had no reason to be this cold, but when Jacob left, he took the warmth with him. The entire world seemed to grow colder.

She waited for Jacob to return. The seconds ticked by agonizingly slowly, turning into minutes.

Nessie struggled to process what happened. Surely this was all a mistake. Any second now, Jacob would reemerge. He'd come back and apologize then everything would work out… Wouldn't it? Everything always worked out.

Like when the Volturi first arrived, all hope had seemed lost, but in their final hour, Nahuel had appeared.

Even when the world was at its darkest, the sun always returned. She just had to wait.

The minutes became an hour. What was taking him so long?

A buzzing noise broke the silence. She didn't bother to answer her phone. She knew it wouldn't be Jacob. The caller was persistent. Moments after it went to voicemail, the phone growled again, like an angry bumblebee demanding her attention. She forced herself to rise. She expected the cold to get worse as she emerged from the blanket, but it made no difference.

She dropped to her knees and rummaged through the shreds of clothing to find the iPhone still in the pocket of what was once her jeans. She recognized the number immediately. Nahuel.

She pressed the green answer button and brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she said the greeting in a hushed voice. The word sounded too loud. Like a violation of her vigil as she waited for Jacob. She pulled her legs to her chest and curled up into a ball.

"Hey," responded the familiar voice. "We need to talk. Do you still want to come over tonight?"

No. No, she didn't. After the night she'd spent with Jacob, the thought of returning to Nahuel had lost all appeal. But she had already lost most of her family today, she couldn't risk losing Nahuel too.

"Yes, but um, not right now," she said. She couldn't let Nahuel see her like this.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

She waited a moment too long before responding. "It's… um…" she shook her head, though he couldn't see it. "It's a long story."

He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't.

"Alright… You know where to find me," he said.

"I'll be there soon," she said. She heard a click and the line went dead. In the darkness, her phone screen was a mirror. She stared at her reflection for several moments before rising from the ground. She made her way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. The scalding water did nothing to warm her as she stepped into the stream.

She took a deep breath. She had to pull herself together for Nahuel. She coated her body in a layer of soap, washing always her night with Jacob. She scrubbed her skin bare until all traces of Jacob's scent were gone from her body. The washcloth tore under the force of her scrubbing. She turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a towel before stepping out of the shower. She brought the corner of the fabric to her nose and inhaled deeply. Even the clean towel reminded her of Jacob. It smelled like his laundry detergent.

She looked at herself in the mirror. What had been going through his head when he had stood here, moments before leaving? She imagined the situation from his perspective.

She thought about the moment that had changed everything, when he had found her in the woods, covered in blood. He had no way of knowing the human was already on the cusp of death. He couldn't see the mercy in her actions, only the horror.

Then how had she responded? She painted him as the villain as she blasted him with thoughts of affection for another man.

Poor Jacob. He had been nothing but good to her for her entire life. How could she have been so cruel? After tonight, she would never take him for granted again.

She went back to Jacob's room and examined the pile of shredded fibers on the ground. None of the clothing she had arrived in was salvageable. She grabbed a pair of Jacob's shorts and a tank. It wasn't a great option, but it was all she had access to at the moment.

She headed down the stairs and walked out the backdoor. She looked out at the woods. Any moment now, Jacob would emerge. She didn't care that Nahuel was waiting. She had to be here when Jacob returned. She needed to be here. She sat down on the step and waited.

The crickets and cicadas screamed into the night. It was such a common sound, but right now, they were like nails on a chalkboard. She covered her ears with her hands.

She replayed his departure in her head. Could he not see how desperately she needed him to stay? To choose? If he truly loved her, surely he would accept her as she was. She was so sure he would understand. Jacob was the one person who always accepted her.

Maybe he had gone back to the Cullens to tell them they were being unreasonable. Yes, that had to be it. He was fighting for her now and he wouldn't return until he convinced Carlisle that the ultimatum was unreasonable. Carlisle must be being stubborn.

Nessie would wait as long as she needed to for him to return. She would be here for him like he was always here for her.

Her attention peaked at the sound of a car pulling up to the house. Could it be Jacob? Maybe somebody gave him a ride home?

She jumped up and raced around to the front at inhumane speed. Her heart sank as she saw Seth getting out of his car. He barely glanced at her before turning away. He headed down the street, away from the house.

"Hey," she greeted him like any other day.

He didn't respond. She jogged down to the sidewalk to catch up to him. Seth didn't look at her.

"Do you know when Jacob will be back?" she asked.

"No," Seth answered curtly.

"Where is he?" She asked.

"Somewhere in the woods, I guess" he shrugged.

"Why?" she asked. "What's he doing?"

"I don't know and I don't care," Seth scowled. She realized this was the first time she'd been face-to-face with him since Kevin had passed. Could he really still be upset about that? If anything, he should be blaming the Volturi, not her, for taking his life in the end.

Nessie was taken aback by his tone. "If this is about Kevin, I was only trying to help Kat. I didn't mean—"

Seth stopped and spun around to look at her. The contempt was clear in his eyes. He looked a lot like Leah without his usual grin spread across his face.

"I said I don't care," Seth said. "You didn't know Kevin and you sure don't know anything about Kat. So don't tell me you only wanted to help. If that was true, you wouldn't be here all alone."

Nessie stared at him in shock. She had never heard Seth speak to anyone that way, let alone her.

"Jacob will be back any moment now," she said lamely.

Seth laughed without humor. "Can't you see what you've done? You've gone too far. You've pushed everyone away. He's not coming back."

She gasped as the words stabbed her like a knife. She froze on the sidewalk. He didn't break his stride as he continued walking in the direction of the sorority house.

Hearing the words spoken aloud shattered her illusion. Jacob wasn't coming back. He wasn't fighting for her. Her knees buckled beneath her. She dropped to the concrete. The world started shaking around her as her shivers returned. What had she done?

This wasn't her fault! She's part vampire. How could they hold this against her? Was their love so conditional? Must she pretend to be something she's not to earn their acceptance? Sure, her family could make up excuses to justify their masochistic lifestyle, but Jacob? How could he? He was the one person who had to understand. He imprinted on her! How could he walk away? Especially after tonight… Those final moments together with Jacob had been the best moments of her entire existence. He had to have felt the same way!

But if Seth was right and Jacob was gone…

Who did she have left? Seth, Kat, Carlisle, Bella, Edward, Jacob, they all had turned against her.

She had to get to Nahuel. He was all she had left now.

She ran straight to his house, cutting through backyards and weaving between houses to get there as quickly as possible. She was confident no human would get a good look, though if they did, she didn't care.

He opened the door at the sound of her arrival. Before he could say a word, she smashed her lips against his. She had to make this work. He had to be the answer.

He pulled away in surprise. "Are you alright?"

"I've had a really lousy birthday," she admitted. She couldn't bear to tell him anything more specific. What if he turned away from her too?

He wiped away a tear from her cheek. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying. He didn't press for more information.

"I'm afraid I can't help with that," Nahuel said. "We need to talk."

Renesmee's heart pounded in her chest. Could this night get any worse? He led her over to the couch and took her hands in his.

"Listen, I know you're going through a hard time right now. I don't want to make this any harder on you."

"What do you mean?"

"AJ has done his job. The student body has moved past their speculation. It's time for us to return to Volterra."

Renesmee let out a gasp. "No! You can't go! Not now." She threw her arms around him. She needed him more than ever. After tonight, who did she even have left?

"I'm sorry, Renesmee," Nahuel sighed. "You knew this was coming."

"But not so soon," Renesmee cried. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Nahuel answered.

Tears welled in the corner of her eyes. First her family, then Jacob, now Nahuel too? She didn't think she could handle any more rejection. No. She couldn't think about that. Nahuel was still here now. He wasn't gone. Not yet anyway.

"We still have tonight," Renesmee said. She leaned closer to him. He stroked her cheek tenderly.

She pushed her lips back on his and he responded accordingly. It wasn't long before they were in his bed.

The magic she had felt with Nahuel over the weekend was gone. She couldn't help but feel frustrated by him. His lips seemed to be moving against hers instead of with them. His hands were too gentle against her body. This night began the same way as any of their other nights together, but after her night with Jacob, it just seemed painfully inadequate.

Without realizing it, the hand caressing his neck slipped upwards. Her finger grazed against his cheek.

Nahuel froze. He pulled his face away from hers. "You're thinking about Jacob."

Mortified, she yanked her hands away from him like she touched something hot.

"I am so sorry!" She apologized. "It's been a long day and my head is all over the place."

Nahuel grimaced. He rolled to the side so he was lying on the bed next to her.

"I'll be more careful," she promised, scooting closer to close the distance he created.

Nahuel shook his head. "No. The mood has died."

"But it's my birthday," she protested.

"Yesterday was your birthday," Nahuel said. "Plus it seems that Jacob already gave you the same present. I'd hate to be redundant."

He made no effort to hide the acidity in his tone.

Renesmee stared at him, speechless. Had she not had enough rejection for one day? She didn't try to change his mind. She just gathered her clothes.

"Will I see you again before you leave for Volterra?" she asked.

"Probably not," Nahuel admitted.

Renesmee hesitated by the door. "I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah," Nahuel said.

She waited for him to say something more. When he didn't, she hung her head and left.

Campus was quiet in the early hours of the morning. Too quiet. Renesmee's entire life had been turned upside down, it was jarring to be reminded that it was just her. Not everyone was asleep. As she reached the door to her dorm, she could hear Kimmy's whispered voice coming from the lounge.

"I don't want to accuse her of faking a disability, but I just feel like she's lying to me," Kimmy said.

"You should try talking to your roommate," Renesmee recognized the RA's voice.

Great, even Kimmy was on to her. Renesmee threw herself onto her bed and buried her head under her pillow.

Despite the chaotic day, she forced herself to clear the thoughts from her head and sleep found her quickly. All too soon, she was woken by the sound of her alarm.

She forced herself to rise from her bed. She held on to her daily routine like it was her last lifeline.

As the day progressed, she started to pull herself back together. Her aunts and uncles' empty seats in her classes stood as a reminder of the previous day. But then again, it was a sunny day. They would've skipped regardless.

All too soon, she finished with class for the day.

She went to the library to study, but homework couldn't hold her attention. She couldn't stop thinking about Jacob. On a normal day, he'd be at work during this hour.

Nessie thought back to what he'd said. Didn't he say was putting in his two weeks' notice? Was it possible that he would still be there now?

As soon as she realized where he was, she could barely keep herself from racing to find him. She forced herself to maintain a normal human pace as she rode her bike through the town.

Sure enough, when she got to the shop, she spotted Jacob's Rabbit parked in its usual spot. The weight of loneliness rose from her shoulders.

Jacob wasn't gone! She wasn't sure how yet, but everything was going to be okay. She entered the shop through the open garage door like it was any other day.

Lizzie spotted her first.

"Hey Nessie," Lizzie grinned. "What's up?"

"Hi, I'm looking for Jacob," Nessie answered. She looked past Lizzie, hoping to get a glimpse of him under the hood of a car.

"He's working on the Honda," Lizzie gestured to the car furthest from them. "Fair warning, he's in a bit of a mood."

"Yeah, I know," Nessie didn't bother to mention that she was the cause.

She approached the vehicle. Jacob didn't raise his eyes.

"Hey," Nessie started.

"Renesmee," Jacob said.

She watched him work. She expected him to say something. She'd given him all day to think. Surely, he would've decided by now. He continued to work as if she wasn't there. His knuckles were too tight around the socket wrench.

"I owe you an apology," she said.

He looked up at her in surprise. His scowl softened.

"Yeah?" he still had a hint of suspicion in his eye.

"I've been thinking about things from your perspective," she began.

A hint of a smile crept at the corner of his mouth.

"Back in the woods… I shouldn't have thrown those thoughts at you. That was cruel," she said.

The smile vanished as quickly as it appeared. "Is that what you came to say?"

"I was worried I left you thinking I wanted you to go."

Jacob took a deep breath. "That had nothing to do with my decision."

"You've decided?" she asked. She couldn't stop the excitement from slipping into her voice.

"I told you I'm leaving," he responded.

"Yeah, but I gave you time to think," she said. "You know I love you, right?"

Jacob closed his eyes. The hard mask returned to his face. "Are you going to tell me to stay?"

"No," she said. Why did he keep demanding she tell him what to do? It was rude. She wanted to tell him off for being childish, but she held her tongue.

"Then there's nothing more to say," Jacob slammed down the hood of the car.

Jacob stormed off and went into the men's restroom where she couldn't follow.

Nessie left the garage in a huff. She stormed inside to the main waiting room. Lizzie followed her in.

"Tough breakup?" Lizzie asked.

"We were never together," Nessie responded. For the first time, the words felt like a lie.

Lizzie smiled sympathetically. "That's tough. I've been there, too."

"Jacob's just being thick. He'll get over it."

"I wouldn't wait on him," Lizzie said. "Maybe you should see other people instead."

"I think that's a great idea," Nessie said. Her mind went to Nahuel. She needed to figure out a way to get past the humiliation. She didn't think their relationship was irredeemable, but one thing was for certain: there was no way she was going to be able to prevent herself from making comparisons to her night with Jacob.

"You know, I'm getting off in about half an hour," Lizzie said. "We could go bowling or catch a movie."

"Bowling would be great," Nessie responded. She needed something to get her mind off of the situation. A girl's night was exactly what she needed.

The nearest bowling alley was called Rainbow Lanes. Lizzie gave Nessie a ride in her Corolla.

Bowling was one of those recreational activities that her family had explicitly coached her on. While bowling excursions were uncommon, it was a normal enough activity that they felt it was best if she understood how to participate while maintaining a human facade. She had to pick a ball that wasn't too heavy and she had to be careful not to throw it too hard or with too much accuracy.

Nessie tried to keep her score relatively close to Lizzie's, but not too close, otherwise that would also cause suspicion.

The game ended quickly. Afterward, they wandered over to the arcade attached to the bowling alley. Nessie was doing her best to engage in small talk but apparently, she was failing spectacularly. She tried to tell Lizzie she was fine, but she wasn't buying it.

"Is this about Jacob?" Lizzie asked. "I'm not trying to interfere with your relationship. He also said you two weren't together."

"No, no," Nessie said. "Well, sort of."

Lizzie raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"There's this other guy," Nessie chose her words carefully. "He's an old friend, and he was in town this past week but he's… he's changed since we last met."

"That's rough," Lizzie responded sympathetically. She didn't sound surprised.

"I don't think it's a big deal, but Jacob caught me spending time with him and blew up."

"Yikes," Lizzie said.

"So now I don't know what to do. Everyone's pissed because I'm doing the exact same thing as Nahuel, yet nobody cares when he does it. It's a double standard and it's so stupid."

"Maybe you should avoid him," suggested Lizzie. "It sounds like he's a bad influence."

"You don't know him," Renesmee said curtly. "Besides, he's leaving today anyway."

Lizzie threw her hands up in defense. "Hey, I'm just trying to help. If he's gone, maybe it's not worth pushing away everyone else."

Nessie looked at Lizzie in surprise. "You don't know what you're talking about."

How much did Jacob say to Lizzie? Or was it really obvious that her entire life was falling apart…

Lizzie bristled. She ran her hand over her head and tried to flatten the numerous flyaways that were standing on end.

"It's getting late. I should go," Lizzie said.

"See you around," Nessie responded. She was still thinking about Nahuel.

"You know, if you're that obsessed with this guy, maybe you should've gone with him," Lizzie spat before leaving.

Nessie watched her go. How had she messed this evening up so badly?

After Lizzie left, Nessie realized she'd have to walk back to her dorm. Fortunately, it wasn't too far.

The next day, she woke to the sun shining through the window. She knew she should be getting up if she was going to make it to her COM class on time, but she stayed immobile. She had a hunch that her parents wouldn't be letting it stop them from attending class. They'd been trying to call her numerous times over the past two days, but she'd ignored them. She knew she was going to be blamed for tearing the family apart, as if it were her choice her parents stayed.

Ironically, her mother was the one person she wished would leave, but she knew that wouldn't happen. Bella was too set on restoring her Perfect Life. She acted as if there was nobility in leaving the flock to recover the lost sheep by any means necessary, even if it meant hogtying the sheep to force it back to the flock.

Renesmee knew her mother viewed herself as the victim. Renesmee was the villain who had committed the ultimate crime of deviating from the façade she'd been living.

She thought about how she was going to respond as she forced herself from her bed. Communicating like adults was out of the question. They didn't want to understand her perspective, they wanted her to cave and go back to the way things were. Plus, any maturity on her part would be used as proof that she wasn't suffering as much as Bella.

Bella wasn't the only one who had lost her family, though there was no point in trying to take the victim approach. She knew voicing her own pain would offend her mother and be deemed a slight against her parenting. Her father would make it about himself and find a way to take the blame by claiming her self-pity was because she was too much like him.

Besides, she didn't feel like making amends. She was still livid that they'd used her birthday to get to her. Their betrayal was unforgivable. What could she do to really drive home that they'd gone too far?

She glanced at her dresser and eyed her jewelry box. A bad idea crept into her head.

Nessie couldn't resist. She rushed over to the box and scooped out the golden locket and hastily wrapped it in notebook paper and tape. She was running a few minutes late, but she still managed to arrive at the classroom before her professor.

Sure enough, her parents were in their usual seats. Bella's expression was remorseful, but Edward watched her disapprovingly as he read her mind and heard what she was planning.

"Happy early birthday," she announced as she dropped the present before Bella. "Are we doing anything for your birthday tomorrow, or is that canceled too?"

In a hushed voice, Bella tried to claim that she had no idea what Carlisle was planning. Renesmee didn't listen. She didn't want to hear it.

The nearby students eyed them uneasily. Renesmee paid them no mind. She knew she wasn't saying anything incriminating. The class was quickly distracted as the professor entered. He announced to the class that a sub would be taking over for the next few weeks as he would be out for medical reasons.

Curiosity got the best of Bella and she opened the gift while the professor was talking. As she pulled out the locket, she worked to keep the heartbreak from her expression, but Nessie could see it in her eyes.

This locket had been a gift from Bella to Renesmee on her very first Christmas. Renesmee had been wearing it when she learned that her mother planned on sending her away if the Volturi could not be convinced.

After that day, she hated that little locket. She hated that her mother had given it to her with the intent of it being the only thing she'd had left of her family when they all burned while she ran. It was a reminder that one day, she could wind up alone. For the first time in nearly six years, the fear was perilously close to being a reality.

We'll always be together in our hearts, right? Renesmee projected her thoughts to her mother.

Bella closed her hand around the small piece of jewelry. Renesmee's plan was working. Rather than berating her, Bella was now distracted by the newest betrayal.

After the professor's announcement, he dismissed the class after only five minutes.

Renesmee stood up and stormed into the hallway.

"Renesmee!" Edward hissed.

She rounded the corner into a particularly sunny corridor. She came to a halt directly in the sun's rays next to a window. She crossed her arms and stared at her parents defiantly.

They stared each other down for a minute before she turned and continued on her path. She strode outside into the day.

All her plans were derailed as she spotted a familiar figure waiting for her in the quad.

Nessie froze. She struggled to make sense of what she was seeing. There, in the middle of the field, was the person she never expected to see again.

Nahuel.

She approached him slowly. What was he doing here?

"I thought you left," Nessie said.

"I did," Nahuel answered. "After I got the boys back to Volterra, I got on a plane and came back."

Nessie looked around nervously. "Is Felix…"

"I'm alone," Nahuel assured her.

"What are you doing here?" Renesmee asked.

"I wanted to talk to you," Nahuel said. "I couldn't stop thinking about how things ended."

Renesmee's heart fluttered in her chest. He came back for her!

A week ago, this would have sent her over the moon. Now? He wasn't the one she wanted to return… But still, he was the one who came back. Was that not the definition of true love?

"Are you here to stay?" Renesmee asked.

Nahuel shook his head. Renesmee's heart sank.

"Then you shouldn't have come back at all," Renesmee choked. Was this some kind of cruel trick? Did he enjoy her suffering? What was the point of returning if he was only planning to break her heart again? She turned to leave but he caught her wrist.

"I want you to come with me," Nahuel said.

She froze. "What?"

"I have a house outside of Volterra," he said. "During the day, I'll go to Volterra to help the Volturi. Then at night, we can be together."

She looked at him like he was crazy. "But the Volturi… They want to kill me!"

Nahuel shook his head. "They didn't understand you, but that was then. Things are different. Nobody will hurt you, I promise."

Renesmee hesitated. If Jacob had returned, she would have followed him anywhere. After yesterday, she learned a painful lesson. She couldn't count on Jacob to return. Did she really want to spend an eternity waiting, pining after someone who clearly didn't reciprocate her affection?

But Nahuel… It was unfair to expect him to be her consolation prize. Then again, he knew her heart longed for Jacob, but Nahuel chose to return anyway. He accepted her, divided as she was.

Nahuel was the only person who could understand how it felt to be divided between two worlds. She did love him, just not in the same way she loved Jacob.

She let them go and one returned. Which one truly loved her?

She couldn't let herself push away Nahuel. Not him.

She took his hand in hers.

"When do we leave?"

Chapter Playlist

Never Felt So Alone - Labrinth - Renesmee

Haunted (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift - Renesmee

Without Me - Halsey - Jacob

Let You Let Me Down - Donna Missal - Jacob

WITHOUT YOU - The Kid LAROI - Jacob

Pure Imagination - Gene Wilder - Nahuel

Scream - High School Musical 3 - Renesmee

Falling Apart - Papa Roach - Renesmee

I'll Be Waiting - Cian Ducrot - Jacob