Devi Vishwakumar sat on her bed, staring at the twinkling lights outside her window. She was supposed to be working on an essay for her English class, but her mind kept wandering back to the events of the past few weeks. Her life had been chaotic lately—dating drama, friend drama, family drama—it was all too much. But amidst the mess, there was something new. Or rather, someone new.
She couldn't stop thinking about Ethan, the new guy at Sherman Oaks High. He wasn't like the boys she usually crushed on. Ethan was... different. Quiet, mysterious, with an air of aloofness that drew her in like a magnet. She had heard rumors about him—how he kept to himself, how he was always getting into trouble, how he had a reputation for breaking hearts. But none of that scared her. In fact, it intrigued her. There was something about him that made her want to understand him, to break down his walls.
Devi smirked to herself. She was always drawn to complicated boys. It was like she couldn't help herself.
The lyrics from Taylor Swift's "cowboy like me" echoed in her mind: "You're a cowboy like me, perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear..." Ethan wasn't a cowboy, but there was something about him that felt like he was playing a game—a game of pretending he didn't care when he obviously did.
Her phone buzzed, and she looked down to see a text from Ethan.
Ethan: "What are you up to?"
Devi's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't one to text first, and the fact that he was reaching out to her made her stomach do a little flip. She quickly typed a reply.
Devi: "Just working on an essay. You?"
She stared at the screen, waiting for his response. A minute later, her phone buzzed again.
Ethan: "Wanna hang out?"
Devi bit her lip, her heart racing. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to hang out with Ethan—she had a lot on her plate, and getting involved with someone like him was bound to complicate things even more. But then again, when had she ever made the safe choice?
Devi: "Sure. Where?"
They met at the park, the one near the school where no one really went after dark. It was quiet, the sound of crickets filling the air as the two of them sat on a bench, the moonlight casting a soft glow over the trees. Devi could feel the tension between them, that strange mix of curiosity and attraction that had been building for weeks.
Ethan leaned back, his hands resting in his jacket pockets as he stared up at the sky. "You know, I don't usually do this."
Devi raised an eyebrow, glancing over at him. "Do what?"
He smirked, his eyes still on the stars. "Hang out with people."
Devi rolled her eyes, though there was a smile on her lips. "Wow, lucky me. The brooding loner is gracing me with his presence."
Ethan chuckled, finally turning to look at her. "You're not like the other girls at school."
Devi blinked, taken aback by his sudden sincerity. "What do you mean?"
Ethan shrugged, his smirk fading as he spoke more seriously. "You don't care what people think about you. You're not afraid to say what's on your mind."
Devi laughed, but it was more out of surprise than amusement. "Are you kidding? I care way too much about what people think. Half the time, my life is just one big drama because I can't control myself."
Ethan shook his head. "No, you're different. Everyone else is always trying to fit in, to be popular, but you... you're real."
Devi felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words. She wasn't used to people seeing her that way—especially someone like Ethan. He had a reputation for not caring about anything, but here he was, telling her she was different. And for some reason, that meant a lot.
They sat in silence for a while, the air between them heavy with unspoken thoughts. Finally, Ethan broke the quiet.
"You know what people say about me, right?" he asked, his voice low.
Devi glanced at him, her curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"
Ethan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That I'm trouble. That I don't care about anyone. That I've... hurt people."
Devi frowned, her brow furrowing as she processed his words. "Yeah, I've heard the rumors. But I don't believe everything I hear."
Ethan looked at her, his expression unreadable. "Maybe you should. I'm not exactly the good guy in this story."
Devi crossed her arms, leaning back against the bench. "So what? You think I'm scared off because you've got a reputation? Please. You don't know the kind of messes I've gotten myself into."
Ethan smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm serious, Devi. I'm not good at... relationships. Or feelings. Or any of that stuff."
Devi felt a pang of sympathy for him, but she wasn't about to let him off that easily. "Look, I'm not asking for a relationship, okay? I don't even know what this is. But if you're trying to push me away, it's not going to work."
Ethan stared at her for a moment, as if trying to figure her out. Finally, he sighed, a small smile playing on his lips. "You're stubborn."
Devi grinned, leaning toward him. "You have no idea."
Over the next few weeks, Devi and Ethan started spending more time together. It wasn't anything official, and they didn't talk about what they were doing, but it was obvious to anyone who saw them that something was happening between them. They'd meet up after school, hang out at the park, or go for late-night drives around the city. It was easy, comfortable, but there was always an underlying tension between them—a sense that they were both holding back.
One afternoon, as they sat in Ethan's car overlooking the city, Devi decided she'd had enough of the uncertainty.
"So, what are we doing?" she asked, her voice breaking the quiet.
Ethan glanced at her, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Devi sighed, turning to face him fully. "I mean... us. What are we? Are we just... hanging out? Or is this something more?"
Ethan didn't respond right away, his gaze dropping to his hands. For a moment, Devi thought he was going to avoid the question, but then he spoke, his voice soft.
"I don't know," he admitted. "I like being around you, Devi. You make me feel... normal. Like I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not."
Devi's heart raced at his words, but she wasn't satisfied with half-truths. "But?"
Ethan sighed, leaning back in his seat. "But I'm not good at this stuff. I don't want to hurt you."
Devi felt a surge of frustration. "Why do you think you're going to hurt me, Ethan? You're not some... villain. You're just a guy."
Ethan laughed bitterly. "You don't know me as well as you think."
Devi shook her head, her eyes narrowing. "I know enough. And I know you're not as bad as you pretend to be."
Ethan stared at her, something unreadable in his gaze. "You don't get it, Devi. I've messed up before. I don't want to mess this up too."
Devi's heart softened at his words, and she reached out, placing her hand on his arm. "Then don't. Just... don't mess it up."
Ethan looked at her, his eyes searching hers, and for a moment, the wall he had built around himself seemed to crack. He leaned in slowly, and Devi's breath caught in her throat. She wasn't sure what was going to happen, but she knew she didn't want him to stop.
And then, just as their lips were about to meet, Ethan pulled back, his expression pained. "I can't do this, Devi."
Devi blinked, taken aback. "What? Why?"
Ethan shook his head, his voice low. "I'm not what you need. You deserve someone better."
Devi felt a wave of frustration and hurt wash over her. "Why do you keep saying that? Why are you so convinced that you're bad for me?"
Ethan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because I've seen what happens when I get close to someone. It never ends well."
Devi crossed her arms, her voice firm. "Maybe it will this time."
Ethan stared at her, as if considering her words, but then he shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you."
Devi's heart sank, but she refused to let him push her away so easily. "Ethan, you don't have to protect me. I'm not some fragile girl who needs saving."
Ethan smiled sadly. "I know you're not. That's what I like about you."
For a moment, they sat in silence, the weight of their unspoken feelings hanging heavy in the air. Devi wanted to fight for this, to make him see that they could be something more, but she also knew that Ethan had to make that decision for himself.
"I'm not giving up on you," Devi said quietly, her voice filled with determination.
Ethan looked at her, his expression conflicted. "Maybe you should."
But Devi just shook her head, her eyes filled with resolve. "I'm not going anywhere."
As the weeks went on, things between Devi and Ethan remained complicated. They grew closer, but there was always a tension between them, a sense that they were both walking on a tightrope, unsure of what would happen if they let themselves fall.
But despite the uncertainty, Devi couldn't help but feel drawn to him. She knew he had walls, but she also knew that she was the only one who had ever come close to breaking them down.
The lyrics from "cowboy like me" echoed in her mind: "And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to mess this up." Maybe they were both too complicated, too messy for something simple. But she didn't care.
Because in the end, she knew one thing for sure—she wasn't afraid to take the risk.
