The episode began with Chef walking down a prison hallway while holding a contract "I'm innocent, I tell you! Innocent!" The psycho killer with the chainsaw and a hook said as Chef passed him while another made kissy faces at him.

"The Crusty Cockroaches have a big lead over the Soiled Stinkbombs!" Chris's voice came.

"Cram it, McLean!" An inmate yelled while another laughed as Chef reached Chris's cell to see him playing with cockroaches.

"Ooh! Lightning slips past Duncan! The heat is on! Yeah! Look at that! That's what I'm talking about! Well, well, well. Look who finally came to visit me after a whole year! Not cool, dude!" Chris said.

"Well excuse me for not thinking about you 24/7! I have other jobs too, y'know." Chef said.

"You could have still written a letter!" Chris said.

"Ugh. C'mon. You've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste." Chef rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Think I'll stay right here. Got everything I need. Including Chef 2.0. I made him from a cashew." Chris said as he showed a cashew with Chef's face on it.

"That doesn't even look like me!" Chef angrily said.

"Hey, just be glad you're not a roach like the contestants!" Chris said.

"Those contestants are roaches! Ugh, just take this." Chef said as he gave him the contract from the slider.

"What's this?" Chris asked.

"Your contract! The producers have greenlit another season. So, you in?" Chef asked.

"It is on!" Chris said.

(Theme song)

The song begins with cameras popping out of everywhere before a clipboard snaps.

[Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine]

[You guys are on my mind]

The camera zooms past Chris and Chef in a helicopter before going to the top of the cliff and diving in the water.

[You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer's plain to see]

[I wanna be famous!]

Owen is swimming underwater while being chased by Fang before he farts in his mouth, making him choke. Above, Cameron is on a boat before the engine blows up on his face, blasting him away into the woods where Jo is punching a bag before he lands on her arms. Brick ran by as Jo saw him and dropped Cameron to chase after him. Scott laughed at this while Courtney glared at him, making him stop.

[I wanna live close to the sun]

[Well pack your bags, cause I've already won]

Duncan and Gwen on a canoe before they fell off a waterfall while Harold did karate moves on a log nearby.

[Everything to prove, nothing in my way]

[I'll get there one day]

[Cause I wanna be famous!]

Lightning swings with a vine, crashing into Harold as they both hit the confessional, causing Lindsay to fall out. In the mess hall, Chef was cooking up something disgusting, making Heather gag as Anne Maria applied hairspray and then got upset and sprayed it at the camera. Outside, Jo arrived at the steps first before a tired Brick came as she celebrated.

[Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!]

The camera panned over to the dock where Ezekiel was posing.

[I wanna be]

[I wanna be]

[I wanna be famous!]

[I wanna be]

[I wanna be]

[I wanna be famous!]

The camera went further away on the dock, showing the Drama Machine. Ezekiel ran over before he was grabbed by the Drama Machine and blasted in the air, spinning in the sky as the time changed to the night. The camera panned down to the campfire where Zoey and Mike were about to kiss before getting interrupted by Owen popping up and putting them in a chokehold. The camera panned away to show everyone around the campfire whistling. "Total Drama All-Stars" is written on a nearby sign.

Cut to Chris on the dock. "Welcome to Total Drama All-Stars. After my involuntary year-long "vacation", I really need to be in a familiar environment surrounded by the people I love. To hurt. It's a condition of my parole. Except for the hurt part. Eh? That's all McLean. So, I'm bringing back sixteen TD All-Stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying, one million dollar competition ever! And here they are now!" Chris said as Chef came on a helicopter.

"Let's get this over with…" Chef mumbled.

"From Revenge of the Island, say hello to... Multiple Mike." Chris said as Chef threw Mike out. "AKA, Chester…" he said as Mike inhaled.

"Yeah!" Chester said.

"Svetlana…" Chris said as Chester inhaled.

"Yay!" Svetlana said.

"Vito…" Chris said as Svetlana inhaled.

"Ah!" Vito screamed.

"And Manitoba." Chris said as Vito inhaled.

"Crikey!" Manitoba said as he fell in the water.

"Mike's crush, pushover and power house, Zoey." Chris said as Zoey came.

"Hah, Mike! Ah!" Zoey yelled as Chef threw her out.

"Athletic non-supporter, Lightning!" Chris said as Lightning came.

"You call that a dive? Watch this! Sha-" Lightning tried to say before he was kicked off by Chef.

"Bubble Boy Brainiac, Cameron." Chris said as Chef came with Cameron.

"This is highly illogical!" Cameron yelled as Chef threw him out.

"Honorable Cadet, Brick McArthur!" Chris said as Brick came and saluted.

"Brick McArthur, reporting for du-Ah!" Brick screamed as Chef threw him out.

"Steel haired tan can user, Anne Maria." Chris said as Anne Maria came.

"Don't even try it!" Anne Maria angrily told Chef before he kicked her out.

"Challenge-throwing dirt farmer, Scott." Chris said as Chef came while Scott held onto his leg.

"No! Not water! There's probably sharks in there!" Scott yelled as Chef managed to kick him off his leg.

"Bossy bruiser Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her." Chris said as Jo came and managed to knock Chef away as he tried to throw her.

"You're a dead man, McLean!" Jo said before Chef managed to kick her out.

"And... from our original cast, cranky know-it-all CIT, Courtney!" Chris said as Chef came holding Courtney by her leg.

"This is not in my contract!" Courtney yelled as Chef dropped her.

"Courtney's bestie turned boyfriend stealer, Gwen!" Chris said as Gwen was shown falling.

"He wasn't her boyfriend at the time!" Gwen said.

"Broody bad boy Duncan." Chris said as Duncan was shown falling.

"Bring it on!" Duncan said.

"Devious diva, Heather!" Chris said as Heather was shown falling.

"I hate Chris!" Heather said.

"Nerdy loser Harold!" Chris said as Harold was shown falling.

"Gosh! So not cool!" Harold said.

"Lovable lame-brain, Lindsay." Chris said as Lindsay was shown falling.

"I'm flying!" Lindsay said before she began screaming.

"And Total Drama's very first winner, loveable and oversized goofball Owen!" Chris said.

"Woo-hoo! Chris! This is awesome!" Owen cheered as he jumped out. Everyone in the water looked scared and swam away as Owen fell in the water, causing a giant splash.

"And... misogynistic, homeschooled farmer boy, Ezekiel!" Chris said as Chef came while holding Ezekiel, making everyone in the water gasp.

"What?" Lightning said.

"That's right eh? The Zeke is here to win!" Ezekiel said as Chef dropped him. But before he fell in the water, he was caught with a plunger by the Drama Machine.

"Kidding! No way is that guy coming back again!" Chris said as the Drama Machine blasted Ezekiel away.

"Oh come on!" Ezekiel screamed.

"Man, it's great to be back." Chris sighed in relief.

Cut to everyone groaning as they arrived on the shore. "Greetings, old friends." Chris said.

"I am not your friend." Heather said as she choked out a starfish.

"Aww, somebody misses her honey bunny. I totally get how you feel, I was so devastated when Tyler left before he came back!" Lindsay said as she hugged Heather.

"Who? Alejandro? As if!" Heather said as she shoved Lindsay away.

"Oof!" Lindsay grunted.

"I'm glad he isn't back! That handsome jerk. And he's actually not here and I'm not just a 0 IQ moron who forgets her own boyfriend's name." Heather said.

"You're gonna pay for my dry-cleaning." Anne Maria told Chris.

"Yeah, this was not in the contracts I read!" Courtney said.

"Oh, but we have new contracts for every season. 'Member?" Chris said as

Confessional: Courtney

"Same old Chris, same old disgusting island. What was I thinking? I only came back for the money anyway since it'd help with law school, let's just hope I get lucky this time." Courtney sighed.

"In fact, we've got a lot of big changes for this season. For one, the island is now one hundred percent toxic waste free." Chris said.

"Well, that's great news!" Brick said.

"Yeah, I don't think I'd be able to deal with that on top of Chris's usual bullshit." Heather said.

"Would have been cool to see some mutant animals though. I could've taken some photos of them for my animal scrapbook." Harold said.

"Animal scrapbook? That's lame." Heather rolled her eyes.

"I've also upgraded your accommodations. This season, the losers still have to stay in the stanky old cabin." Chris said as everyone sighed. "But, the winners get to stay in the all-new eco-friendly McLean spa hotel. Complete with butler, hot tub and twenty-four hour masseuse." he continued as they cheered. "And in honor of your all-star status, I'm dividing you into teams based on your past performances. Heroes vs. Villains." he said.

Confessional: Heather

"Obviously, I'll be on the Villains team. And I'll be running it by lunch." Heather boasted.

Confessional: Gwen

"Heroes vs. Villains? Guess Duncan and I won't be on the same team. Unless Chris considers Duncan a hero. Maybe anti-hero?" Gwen thought.

"Heather, Duncan, Anne Maria, Lightning, Jo, Scott, and Gwen. From now on, you're the Villainous Vultures." Chris said as Heather, Duncan, Anne Maria, Lightning, Jo and Scott gathered up when the Drama Machine tossed Gwen next to them.

"Sha-team!" Lightning cheered.

"What? Uh, wouldn't me being on the Heroes team make more sense?" Gwen asked.

"Uh, looks like Ms. Boyfriend Stealer needs to rewatch season three again." Chris taunted Gwen while Courtney looked upset.

"Oh, come on! That was just one time! I even voted myself off due to how bad I felt about it!" Gwen angrily said.

"Hey, being bad is cool. And now we're on the same team. So that's good, right?" Duncan said.

"Yeah, sure." Gwen said.

Confessional: Duncan

"Oh, man. I only came back for Gwen. Her being depressed like this is just making me depressed too." Duncan complained.

"Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Owen, Courtney, Brick, Lindsay, and Harold. You're the Heroic Hamsters!" Chris said as they all gathered up.

"Excuse me. How are hamsters heroic?" Courtney asked.

"It was that or the Heroic Hippos." Chris said.

"Hamsters it is." Courtney said.

"How did she get on this team?" Harold asked Lindsay.

"I have no idea!" Lindsay said.

"Wait a minute. They have seven people to our six. No fair!" Jo said.

"I needed the seat on the plane for that Ezekiel prank." Chris said as Jo glared at him. "Fine, you can have the robot." he said as the Drama Machine came.

"I guess it's better than nothing." Jo said as it beeped.

"I thought your robot could talk." Scott said.

"Meh. The communication chip cacked while I was in the hoosegow." Chris said.

"Was that English?" Lindsay asked as the Drama Machine approached Heather.

"Keep your distance, toaster." Heather told the Drama Machine.

Confessional: Heather

"There is something about that robot I just don't like. I wouldn't be surprised if it almost caused someone to get eaten by a shark or left someone behind when they were attacked by giant caterpillars." Heather shuddered.

"This year's challenges all nod to classics from the past. But with harsh new twists to make this the toughest Total Drama season ever! Your first challenge? Find the key to the spa hotel. And you'll do it in an homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge. Cliff diving into water infested with ravenous sharks!" Chris explained as Scott gulped.

Confessional: Scott

"Okay. So maybe I have a phobia of sh-sh-sh-sh-sharks ever since I got attacked by Fang. Can you blame me? Anyway, I'm going to try not to throw any challenges anymore since everyone knows that was my strategy. I guess I'll have to think of a new one" Scott explained.

"Once you dive into the water, try and avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key. And choose wisely. Only one of those suckers is the real deal. Assuming you live long enough to reach dry land, a teammate will drive you to the hotel in one of the baby carriages from season three's race through central park. First team to unlock the spa door, wins." Chris said as some interns were shown demonstrating the challenge on a monitor. "And someone from Team Loser will be going home tonight. Meet me at the base of the cliff in fifteen minutes. Chop chop." he said.

"Wait! Shouldn't we change into our swimsuits or something first?" Mike asked.

"Sorry! No time!" Chris said as he left.

Cut to everyone walking in the woods. "Ugh! I said keep away from me!" Heather angrily said as the Drama Machine approached her.

"Maybe it thinks you're an engineer and wants you to fix him?" Harold said.

"If I was an engineer, I wouldn't wear this!" Heather angrily said when Harold noticed Brick next to them.

"Hey Brick, good to meet you. You were one of my favorites when I watched Season 4. what brings you back here?" Harold asked Brick.

"Nice to meet you too, soldier. Well, after Cameron shared the money with everyone last season, I managed to enter fashion school. But I'm still interested in what the military's doing. I plan on donating to the army if I win." Brick said.

"Well, my beatboxing albums are doing fine. I really don't care if I win or lose but if I do, I guess I'll just buy more burritos." Harold said.

"Sounds like a plan!" Brick laughed when Jo approached him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Sir Leaks a Lot." Jo mocked.

"Jo. Haven't seen you in a long time." Brick said.

"Well, looks like we're on different teams, so I can't carry you like I did on our first season. I'll just have to crush you instead." Jo mocked.

"I don't think so! My team is clearly superior since we are heroes and have honor unlike villains like you!" Brick said.

"God, you really think you win by being nice? You're a pathetic softie." Jo mocked as she went ahead while Brick growled.

Confessional: Jo

"Looks like Brickhead's still a loser." Jo smirked.

"Excuse me!" Heather said as she shoved past Jo.

"Ugh, watch it, Old Heather!" Jo said.

"You watch it, newbie. Just do whatever I say, and maybe I won't get people to vote you off." Heather said.

"You sure do talk big for someone who probably can't lift more than 80 pounds." Jo said.

"Guys, just because Chris labeled us villains doesn't mean we have to act like villains. We're a team, we should work together as a team!" Gwen said as the entire team pretended to agree.

Confessional: Heather

"No way is that going to happen." Heather said.

Confessional: Anne Maria

"I…" Anne Maria said.

Confessional: Jo

"Don't trust…" Jo said.

Confessional: Duncan

"Anyone…" Duncan said.

Confessional: Scott

"On this…" Scott said.

Confessional: Drama Machine

It just beeped.

Confessional: Lightning

"Team!" Lightning said.

Confessional: Gwen

"Huh. I think that went well." Gwen said and gave a thumbs up. Meanwhile, everyone else laughed evilly.

"Woo-hoo! Man, I missed this place! It brings back tons of memories." Owen said.

"Yeah, memories of misery." Scott said.

"Oh come on pal, don't be so pessimistic! I'm sure we'll have fun!" Owen said and wrapped his arm around Scott, annoying him.

Meanwhile, Zoey and Mike approached Cameron. "Hey Cam, it's been a while since we saw you. How you been?" Mike asked.

"Hi guys, I'm doing pretty good. After last season, my doctor confirmed that my illness was gone!. Not being confined in a bubble and being able to go outside and get fresh air has been an amazing experience! How are things with you guys?" Cameron asked.

"Pretty good actually! We've been going pretty strong ever since last season." Mike said.

"Yeah, Mike has made me feel less lonely than I felt in years." Zoey said.

"And Zoey's made me feel less insecure about my disorder." Mike said as Zoey smiled.

Confessional: Mike

"As amazing as Zoey is, I'm worried not telling her about him is eventually going to end our relationship one day. But it's not like he's still here, I learned from my previous mistakes." Mike said.

"That's great to hear guys, I happy you tw-" Cameron tried to say before being interrupted by a massive cloud of hairspray coming toward them making them choke.

"Ugh, can't believe I have to reapply all of this due to that annoying host!" Anne Maria said as she applied hairspray.

"Gah, it's just Anne Maria." Zoey told Cameron and Mike

"Wait, we still didn't clear up the whole Vito situation with her." Mike said and approached Anne Maria. "Hey, Anne Maria!" he said.

"Oh, ain't you that Vito guy?" Anne Maria asked and stopped applying hairspray.

"Well, you see… Vito was just one of my alters due to my DID. So he's kinda…" Mike said.

"Eh, it's whateva. Vito was just a fling. There are way hotter guys where I'm from." Anne Maria said and then continued applying hairspray.

"Uh… good?" Mike said, confused.

Confessional: Mike

"That worked out well." Mike said.

Duncan noticed Courtney and started making silly faces at her to piss her off. However, she just ignored him. "Uh, hello? Courtney? Hey!" Duncan said.

Confessional: Duncan

"I'm used to having girls yell at me, even punch me. But blank me? That's... that's just wrong. Man, I can't even get some amusement out of her." Duncan scoffed.

"Psst, I think Duncan wants you to yell at him. You know, for old times sake." Lindsay said.

"What's the point? He never listens. Besides, it's over between us. He's a bad boy. I knew it couldn't last forever. But it still hurt to be betrayed by him and Gwen. Last time I make the mistake of trusting them." Courtney sighed.

"You know how to stop making mistakes?! Teach me!" Lindsay gasped.

Confessional: Courtney

"Looks like she didn't gain any braincells." Courtney said.

Cut to everyone arriving at the beach. "Greetings, All-Stars!" Chris said as he came with his jetpack, making them all choke. "Here are your carriages. Blood red for the Villainous Vultures, and purest gold for the Heroic Hamsters. You've got thirty seconds to pick your carriage drivers. Starting now!" he said as he showed some carriages.

"I'll drive." Scott said.

"No, I'll drive." Jo said.

"Sha-please. You were the slowest go-kart driver ever." Lightning said.

"But I'm also the shopping cart racing circuit champion." Jo said.

Confessional: Jo

"No, I'm not. I just said that because…" Jo said.

Confessional: Lightning

"Gotta respect championship status. Jo drives." Lightning said.

"Aw, c'mon!" Scott yelled as Lightning dragged him away.

"Hah, suckers." Jo laughed under her breath.

"But Jo, wouldn't you make a better diver since you're so athletic?" Gwen asked.

"Nobody tells me what to do, Gothball. And don't even try to kiss me." Jo said.

"Oh, ha, ha, very funny." Gwen angrily said.

Confessional: Gwen

"After three seasons of being on this stupid show, I'm reduced to a boyfriend stealer? Look, I get it, what I did was bad, but why does everyone feel the need to bring it up all the time!? I did so many other things too, why do people only talk about the worst!?" Gwen complained.

"Ten seconds!" Chris said.

"You can do it." Cameron told Zoey.

"Maybe you should do it." Cameron replied.

"I could do it if that's okay with everyone." Brick said.

"Well, I went to Pushin' Steve's Carriage Pushing Camp!" Harold said.

"Lindsay will do it." Courtney said as she shoved Lindsay in the carriage.

"Oof!" Lindsay grunted.

"Wait, that's a terrible id-" Harold tried to say but was interrupted.

"Okay, everyone but Jo and Lindsay, up the cliff you go." Chris said as everyone but Lindsay and Jo ran up the cliff.

Cut to everyone arriving at the cliff. "Sha-first!" Lightning said as he arrived.

"Boy, I could go for a burger right now…" Owen sighed as he arrived last.

"Ah!" Cameron grunted as Owen fell on him.

"Ahh!" Scott yelled as he looked down the cliff to see Fang with some normal sharks in the water.

"Fang!" Scott, Zoey, Mike and Brick yelled.

"Who?" Owen asked.

"Wait, I thought there wouldn't be any mutants anymore." Harold said.

"Yeah, but that guy is special. Who's the best key-spotter and who's dead in the shark-infested water? Find out when we return on Total. Drama. All-Stars!" Chris said as the screen faded to black.

Cut to the top of the cliff. "Places, people! It's diving time! Ha ha!" Chris said.

"A-After you. I insist. Ha." Scott said as he hid behind Heather.

"Coward." Heather said.

"One diver per team at a time. The next diver has to wait until their team's carriage returns." Chris said.

"No way am I going, I don't wanna ruin my hair." Anne Maria said.

"And I don't wanna be s-s-shark bait!" Scott yelped.

"Don't worry guys, Lightning will win this!" Lightning said.

"You better do, idiot jock boy." Heather said.

Confessional: Lightning

"Pfft, Lightning ain't no idiot jock! I know 23+35 is 2335 and 78*4 is 78787878! That's not easy math y'know." Lightning boasted as he kissed his abs.

"So, who's going first?" Brick asked.

"I'll do it." Courtney said.

"Wait, I thought you were scared of this kind of thing?" Harold said.

"That was 2 years ago." Courtney said.

Confessional: Courtney

"Besides, I've done way crazier shit on this show by this point." Courtney said.

"Ready. Set. Go!" Chris said and blew an airhorn.

"Whoo, Lightning strike!" Lightning said as he jumped.

"Eek!" Courtney screamed as she jumped.

"Sha-bam!" Lightning cheered as he punched Fang and fell in the water.

"Ah!" Courtney yelled as she fell in.

"Sha-score!" Lightning said as he spat out some water and showed a key before jumping in Jo's carriage.

"Yes! So long, suckers!" Jo said as she drove the carriage away.

"And the Villains take the lead!" Chris said as Courtney came out with a key.

"Go, go, go!" Courtney said as she jumped in the cage.

"Got it! Which way is the hotel again?" Lindsay asked.

"Ugh, never mind! I'll do it." Courtney said as she tried to get out.

"Ah-bah-bah! No tradesis. Gotta stick to your designated driver." Chris said as he came

"Fine. Ugh, just push forward!" Courtney said.

"Oh, okay! This is just like the time when I was in the mall when-" Lindsay tried to say but was interrupted.

"Shut up and push already, idiot!" Courtney said.

"Okay, yeesh, no need to be so rude." Lindsay said as she pushed the carriage away.

Confessional: Lindsay

"Why did Chris put her on the Heroes again? Whatever, I eliminated her once, I can do it again!" Lindsay said.

Cut to Jo pushing Lightning. "Listen. You don't like me and I really don't like you." Jo said.

"What's not to like? Mwah." Lightning said as he kissed his abs.

"You're kidding, right? Point is, we're the strongest members of our team. Agree to stay out of each other's way until the teams merge?" Jo asked.

"Cool. But then it's every champ for himself. Starting with number one. And that's me." Lightning said.

"Yeah, yeah." Jo rolled her eyes.

Confessional: Jo

"Jockstrap is still annoying, but also still a good and strong ally to have and manipulate." Jo smirked.

They reached the cabins as Lightning tried to put the key in. "Come on, key. Get in the lock!" Lightning said.

"It doesn't fit because it's the wrong key, Brightning!" Jo said.

"You kidding me! Stupid lousy fake key!" Lightning complained as he jumped back in the carriage as Jo pushed it away when Courtney and Lindsay came.

"Ah! Wrong key!" Courtney said as she tried to use the key.

"Ooh, maybe they left a window open!" Lindsay said as Courtney gave a blank stare to the camera.

Confessional: Courtney

"How did I get outranked by her, twice!?" Courtney complained.

Cut to everyone on top of the cliff. "Come on, come on!" Duncan said.

"Hey guys! Even if we're on different teams, it's still great to see you two!" Owen approached them.

"Yeah, I feel the same way Owen." Gwen said.

"Agreed." Duncan said when he saw Jo coming. "Here comes Jo! How about a kiss for luck?" he asked Gwen.

"Well, sure." Gwen said as Duncan kissed her and jumped in.

"Whoa!" Duncan yelled as he fell in the water, found a key and got out as Fang tried to attack him.

"You got the key?" Jo asked Duncan as Lightning got out of the carriage.

"Yup. Let's roll!" Duncan said as he jumped in the carriage and was pushed away by Jo.

"So Gwen, how have you and Dunc been getting along?" Owen asked.

"Not gonna lie Owen, it's been kinda hard. I got a lot of hate for kissing him and the guilt is slowly eating away at me. I appreciate him keeping me company through all the hard times but I don't even know if I even like him that way or if I just rushed into the relationship. But I really don't want to mess it up after what happened with Trent." Gwen said.

"Well, I'll just say to do what you think is best. You're a great friend Gwen, I know you'll do what's right." Owen said.

"Thanks Owen." Gwen smiled.

Confessional: Gwen

"I'm really glad Owen's here. His positivity is basically infectious." Gwen said.

"Hurry up, they're still ahead of us!" Courtney said as she and Lindsay came.

"Aw yeah, let's do this! Yee-haw!" Owen cheered as he jumped in, causing a giant splash..

"Oh. Think he's okay?" Mike asked.

"Oh! Check it out guys, I found one that looks like Noah!" Owen said as he showed a key that looked like Noah.

Confessional: Owen

"Man, I really wish that guy was here. I mean, he made Final 6 twice, that qualifies as an All-Star, right?" Owen said.

"Ugh! I don't know where you learned to push a–" Courtney angrily told Lindsay before she saw Owen coming.

"Yahoo!" Owen cheered.

"No, wait!" Courtney cheered as Owen jumped in before Courtney got out, crushing her.

"So… heavy." Lindsay grunted as she struggled to pull the carriage

"Sorry. I had a big breakfast." Owen chuckled.

Cut to Jo pushing Duncan. "Listen up, ripped pants. I'm in charge. Get in my way, and I'll make your life a walking nightmare." Jo said.

"Ha! Trust me, I don't wanna be in charge. But feel free to knock yourself out trying." Duncan said.

"Really?" Jo asked.

"Yeah I mean, I'm more of a lone wolf anyway." Duncan shrugged.

"Well as long as you don't get in my way…" Jo said as they arrived.

"No go, it's gut." Duncan said as he struggled to put the key in the motel.

"Way to pick the wrong key, Dudcan." Jo mocked.

"Ha, good one!" Duncan replied.

"Thanks?" Jo said in shock.

Confessional: Jo

"Wow. Someone who finally appreciates my killer zingers." Jo said.

Duncan and Jo left as Owen and Lindsay came. "Aw. Noah key's too small. Back we go!" Owen said as he failed to put the key in.

"Ugh…" Courtney groaned in the carriage before Owen jumped back in.

"Do you hear something?" Owen asked.

"Uh, I don't think so." Lindsay said.

Cut to everyone on the cliff. "Oh, there they are!" Zoey said as both carriages arrived.

"So… tired…" Lindsay mumbled as she collapsed.

"Good luck." Zoey said and kissed Mike, making him tumble back.

"Oof!" Mike grunted as he bumped into Gwen, causing both of them to fall off.

"Whoa. Uh, n-nice sharks." Gwen said as she was approached by some sharks before Fang came with Mike on his head.

"Gwen!" Duncan said in worry when a rock hit Fang.

"Sorry!" Zoey said as she tossed rocks at the sharks with her necklace, knocking them out.

"Thanks!" Mike yelled.

"Whoa." Heather said in amazement.

"Cool." Harold said.

"Heh, well, after all the time's he's saved me, I owe him one." Zoey said.

Cut to Gwen jumping in the carriage. "Hurry!" Gwen said.

"You think I don't know that?" Jo said as she pushed it away.

"It's all yours!" Owen said as he got out of the carriage when Mike came.

"Wait!" Courtney grunted as she fell out it, looking bruised.

"Hm. So that's why it felt so lumpy." Owen thought.

Cut to Gwen and Jo arriving at the motel. "Darn it!" Gwen said as the key didn't fit.

"Ugh. How hard is it to pick the right key?" Jo panted, exhausted.

"Guess you should've been a diver, huh?" Gwen said as she jumped back in as Jo pushed her away when Lindsay and Mike came. Mike was moving the carriage with a stick while Lindsay was walking from behind and collapsed.

"No. Back we go." Mike said as he jumped back in and continued moving himself when the key he used failed.

"Ugh." Lindsay sighed.

Cut to the cliff when both teams arrived. "Here goes soldiers." Brick said as he jumped.

"Finally." Heather screamed as she jumped.

"Ah!" Brick yelled underwater as he was about to get a key before he saw some sharks which tried to attack him as he swam away, making Heather get the key.

"Sucker!" Heather laughed as she jumped in the carriage which was driven away by Jo.

"Ugh, finally got one. Let's go!" Brick said as he managed to get a key while not being eaten by the sharks and jumped in the carriage while Lindsay sighed and pushed.

Cut to Heather trying the key at the motel while Jo laid on the carriage exhausted. "I haven't been this tired since I ran that septathlon." Jo panted.

"It doesn't fit! Come on, let's go!" Heather said and jumped in the carriage which Jo drove away when Brick and an extremely tired Lindsay came.

"Are you okay, soldier?" Brick asked.

"Totally!" Lindsay said and collapsed.

Confessional: Brick

"Maybe I should have taken the driver role by force? No, that's not honorable at all!" Brick said.

Confessional: Lindsay

"I wanna win the million so I can spend it on a lifetime supply of lip gloss, but I forgot how hard this is. Never thought I'd say it, but... no lip gloss is worth this." Lindsay said.

Cut to the cliff where Scott was holding onto a rock as Lightning tried to pull him away from it. "It's your turn, man." Duncan said.

"No! You can't make me!" Scott said.

"Oh, yes I can!" Lightning said.

"Here comes Lindsay!" Courtney said as she saw Lindsay approaching.

"Good luck! Not that you'll need it." Mike told Zoey as she dived.

"Come on, they're in the lead!" Lightning said.

"Why can't Anne Maria or the robot dive?" Scott asked.

"Anne Maria's busy with her dumb hair." Lightning said as he pointed at Anne Maria applying hairspray.

"And for the robot, I'm pretty sure it isn't waterproof. You have to dive here man!" Duncan said.

"Yeah, but the robot's sh-shark proof!" Scott said.

"Got it!" Zoey said as she found a key and jumped in the carriage.

"Aw." Lindsay sighed and pushed the carriage.

"And the heroes take the lead for the first time in this challenge!" Chris said.

"Dive!" Duncan, Heather, and Gwen yelled at Scott before Lightning managed to pull him away but bumped into the Drama Machine, sending it falling off the cliff.

"Ooh…" Scott winced.

"Uh." Duncan winced.

"Sha-nasty!" Lightning winced.

"So long and good riddance." Heather said while Jo looked tired. The Drama Machine fell in the water where it was attacked by sharks when it exploded, causing something inside it to be blown into the air. It was Alejandro who smirked to the camera, causing everyone to gasp, but mainly Heather. "You have got to be kidding me!" she yelled.

Confessional: Alejandro

"Last thing I remember, I was humiliated at the volcano and Chris sealed me up in that robot suit after my shame. It was supposed to be a few weeks but it went on for a year. It feels so good to be free after all this time. I must thank Scott for all his cowardice. Now that I'm here, the main thing I need to do is get revenge on Heather for what she did to me. Then can be the hottest couple around." Alejandro explained.

Alejandro landed on the shore with a key, however his legs gave out and he fell.

"Ah." Scott, Duncan, and Lightning winced.

Confessional: Alejandro

"I was stuck in that robot suit for a year. My legs are so asleep, it's like their in a coma. Wakey wakey! Nothing." Alejandro said as he shook his legs.

Cut to Zoey trying the key. "Wrong key! So much for our lead." Zoey said as Alejandro and Jo came.

"Jalapeño? When did you get here? Heather was talking about how she missed you!" Lindsay said.

"Silly Lindsay. I was here the whole time. Oh, and of course she was." Alejandro said as Jo grabbed him and went to the hotel as Alejandro tried the key, opening the door. "Finalmente!" he cheered.

"Finally!" Jo said.

"The door is open! The Vultures win!" Chris said.

"Aw…" Lindsay and Zoey sighed.

Cut to the elimination ceremony. There was now a new stand with a peanut where the winning team sat. "Welcome to our first elimination ceremony. How do you like the new peanut gallery? Huh? Now winners can watch their opponents give someone the boot before they head to the spa hotel for a deluxe dinner." Chris explained.

"Yeah!" The vultures cheered.

"Hey, look I know we haven't been on the best terms but I'm still sorry about the way the whole Duncan thing went down. Uh, here. I picked these just for you." Gwen said as she showed Courtney some flowers, making her sneeze. "Oh no. You're allergic?" she asked.

"Ugh, just leave me alone!" Courtney said as Gwen sighed and left.

"Before we start, I need one winner to volunteer for a special reward." Chris said.

"Ha! Sha-Lightning!" Lightning said as he went up to him.

"Great. Your reward is... spending the night in exile on Boney Island with all the hungry wild animals!" Chris said.

"Aw, how is that a reward?" Lightning asked.

"Because there's a McLen invincibility statue hidden somewhere on Boney Island. Find it and you're golden." Chris explained.

"Ugh. Now he tells us." Scott scoffeed.

"As always, you get to vote by placing an X on the eight-by-ten photo of the person you want to eliminate. Now, get voting." Chris said.

Confessional: Cameron

He crossed out a photo.

Confessional: Owen

He crossed out a photo.

Confessional: Harold

He crossed out a photo.

Confessional: Zoey

She crossed out a photo.

Confessional: Brick

He crossed out a photo.

Confessional: Mike

He crossed out a photo.

Confessional: Courtney

She angrily crossed out a photo of Owen.

Confessional: Lindsay

She looked between photos of herself and Courtney and crossed out Courtney's.

"Okay. The following people are safe." Chris said.

"Cameron." he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

"Brick." he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

"Zoey." he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.

"Mike." he said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

"and Harold." he said as he tossed him a marshmallow. Owen looked worried while Courtney looked upset as Lindsay remained uncaring.

"Fat Boy! You're on the chopping block for being too heavy to push and crushing your teammate!" Chef called out Owen as he looked nervous while Courtney glared at him.

"Lindsiot! You're on the chopping block for your terrible driving skills." Chef called out Lindsay who looked uncaring.

"And Courtney, you're on the chopping block for making Lindsay drive." Chef called out an upset Courtney.

"Yeah, what's the matter with you?" Lindsay said as Courtney rolled her eyes.

"The next marshmallow goes to… Owen!" Chris said as he tossed him a marshmallow.

"Oh thank goodness! I was worried I wouldn't get to taste one of these again!" Owen said as he ate it.

"And final one goes to

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Courtney!" he said as he tossed her a marshmallow. She caught it while smirking.

"Oh. Whatever, fine by me. Wait. Do I have to ride that scary catapult thingy?" Lindsay asked.

"Nope! This year, we've got a brand new elimination device." Chris said.

Cut to Lindsay in the Flush of Shame as all the Hamsters and Chris were in front of it. "Behold! The flush of shame! Patent pending." Chris said.

"Gross!" Mike yelped.

"Ew!" Courtney yelped.

"Bogus!" Harold yelped.

"Yikes." Zoey yelped.

"Well. See ya, guys. It's been– Ah!" Lindsay yelled as Chris pressed a button, sending her down the toilet and causing a giant splash.

"Ah!" Courtney, Zoey, Harold and Cameron yelled as the Hamsters were splashed by toilet water as Chris shielded himself with an umbrella.

"Oh, ew, ew, ew!" Mike yelled.

"Who will be flushed into the history books next? Find out when we return on Total. Drama. All-Stars!" Chris ended the episode.

VOTES

Confessional: Brick

"Sorry soldier, you held us back today." Brick said as he showed a crossed out picture of Lindsay.

Confessional: Zoey

"She's nice but was also pretty useless." Zoey said as she crossed out a picture of Lindsay.

Confessional: Mike

"She's the best choice for now. Sorry." Mike said as he showed a crossed out picture of Lindsay.

Confessional: Cameron

"Sorry Lindsay, I would have liked to talk with you more but cost the challenge." Cameron said as he crossed out a picture of Lindsay.

Confessional: Harold

"Courtney's still as cranky as ever, I don't want to deal with her for a fourth season." Harold said as he drew an angry face on a picture of Courtney.

Confessional: Lindsay

"I guess it wouldn't be that bad if I got voted off since I don't even need any money and spent a lot of time on the show, but I can at least stick it to Courtney as I go." Lindsay said as she showed a crossed out picture of Courtney with devil horns.

Confessional: Owen

"I vote Courtney. I remember her being pretty mean…" Owen said as he showed a crossed out picture of Courtney.

Confessional: Courtney

"This is for breaking all my bones today." Courtney angrily said as she crossed out a picture of Owen.

BONUS CLIP

Lindsay's Bonus Clip

Lindsay fell on an alligator at the sewers. "Ah! Wow... where did you get that amazing alligator coat?" Lindsay asked as the alligator looked confused.