Cassandra smiled as she stared at Castle Karnstein in the distance. It loomed out of the surrounding forest atop a jagged cliff, casting a shadow that seemed to stretch across the entire valley. The mist encompassing it had yet to be burned away by the rising sun, but that would definitely be gone by the time the whole army crossed the wooded expanse. Most of the groups had chosen to operate on their own, which was fine by her. They were mostly fodder anyway. "Okay, everyone, let's get this shit started! Black Glove Pirates, give them hell!"
Cheers resounded throughout the valley, swiftly followed by a veritable cloud of projectiles. Everything from rockets and cannonballs to arrows and blades of air slammed into Castle Karnstein from every angle. The barrage lasted for mere moments before a shape appeared on the highest tower. A cloud seemed to pour forth, and while it didn't do anything to the bullets directly, the multiple explosions from destroyed rockets and disturbed air blades prevented most of them from reaching the damaged walls.
Cassandra hefted Haruspex and fired an experimental shot, unsurprised that the woman avoided the bullet so easily given the distance between them. "That's Countess von Countess! Those of you who magically have unlimited ammunition, feel free to keep shooting! The rest of us will have to start making our way up!"
She clung tightly to KYKLOPS as it charged ahead. People on the castle walls started firing downwards, adding bullets to the hail of rice grains, but Cassandra refused to take cover. She hadn't spent three years pushing her Fruit to its limits simply for survival. She wished she could more easily see the faces of the defenders when bullets tore through her, only for the wounds to vanish almost as soon as they appeared.
Her amusement faded when several defenders jumped down to counterattack, but left her alone. Even if they didn't know she was the leader of the assault, KYKLOPS was one of the largest targets. Well, she wouldn't put it past Mircalla to pave the way to the throne room for a direct confrontation - Cassandra would probably have done something similar if their positions were swapped - but since the attack itself was less based on actual malice and more for their own mutual entertainment, she saw no reason to accept Mircalla's invitation so easily.
Her suspicions were confirmed when KYKLOPS threw her onto the battlement and the defenders rushed away instead of engaging her in combat. She took off at full speed towards the gatehouse. The people shooting downward barely had time to react to her approach, but she completely ignored them in favor of unhooking her HT snail. "ARES, left gatehouse."
She heard KYKLOPS push itself away from the wall to get the best angle of attack. Its entire right arm had been temporarily replaced with the huge, ill-fitting rocket launcher system specifically for this purpose, and she doubted anybody knew Theo's suits well enough to find it suspicious. The single shell ARES contained exploded against the thick gatehouse wall, filling the air with smoke and debris. Attackers and defenders alike were blown backwards by the force of the explosion, and chunks of rock and metal knocked no few over as well.
Having braced for the shockwave beforehand, Cassandra propelled herself through the air and landed inside at a run. She dispatched the room's disoriented occupants as non-lethally as she could and carved a warning into the stairway door before going to the next floor. She resisted the temptation to roll her eyes when she saw who was waiting for her. "Oh hi, Enoby. Is there a particular reason you're here instead of someone more suited for protecting something as vital as the main gate?"
"You!" Enoby shrieked, dramatically pointing a finger at her. "Break up with Lyn or I'll make you!"
Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"I said, break up with Lyn or-"
"No, I heard you the first time." A couple defenders burst into the room, froze when they saw her, and quickly retreated.
"Then do it!"
Cassandra put a finger to her lips in mock thought. "Mm… no, I think I'll pass."
"Last chance!"
"Let's say you somehow force me to. Why would she choose you?"
Enoby frowned. "Huh?"
"If being able to beat me drew her attention, she'd have been all over Damien from day one."
"She deserves better than you!" Enoby shouted.
"I agree." Enoby's frown deepened in confusion. "But that still doesn't explain why she'd choose you."
"Because!" Enoby threw herself forward, but Cassandra was more than prepared. She ducked under Enoby's clawed swipe and hit her square in the chest, followed by an elbow to the head that Enoby barely blocked. Another punch to the chest staggered her back a step, and a flashy spin kick sent her against the wall.
Cassandra rested her hands on her hips. "Of course, you still have to be able to actually beat me."
"I love her more than you ever could!" Enoby snapped, her swipe faster than before.
"I can't exactly argue with that since there's no way of quantitatively measuring love."
"I'd die for her! You wouldn't! She told me!"
"Of course I wouldn't." Enoby froze in surprise. "I can't even begin to explain how much more important I am than she is."
Enoby struggled to find words. "S-see?! What kind of mentality is that for your beloved?"
Cassandra kicked Enoby's ankle out from under her, grabbed her head so she could drive her knee into Enoby's face, slammed her elbow into the base of her skull, pinned her once she hit the ground, and audibly cocked one pistol. "A realistic one. Now, I'm going to guess you have two tasks: protect the gatehouse and don't fight me seriously. I want to take over the gatehouse, raise the portcullis, and let some friends in. Which one of your tasks do you want to fail? I recommend the first one, because you're really not gonna like the second one."
"But-"
She pressed her pistol into Enoby's head. "To Mircalla and I, this is more like a friendly playdate with some friendly violence than an actual fight. That's why she presumably told you all not to fight me seriously, and why I'm not going to seriously fight her main harem, to which your inclusion will forever be a source of bafflement to me. I suppose every group needs somebody to be the butt of all the jokes." She leaned in. "What she probably didn't tell you is how short my patience can get when my time is being wasted. I know I may not be able to reduce entire cities to craters, but I've been brought up to be quite creative when I get angry. Would you like me to show you some un friendly violence?"
Tears of blood streaming from her eyes, Enoby eventually gritted her teeth and shook her head.
"Good. Let me talk to Mircalla." She grabbed the HT snail after Enoby punched in the number. "I have a request," she said the instant Mircalla picked up.
"Tch tch tch. You didn't follow the path of petals I laid out for you."
"Despite my epithet, I'm really not a flower person. You should have made a path filled with irritating idiots. However, to stick to my schedule, I want to raise the portcullis. Tell everybody to fuck off so I can."
"Mmm… why should I do that?"
"Because I'm asking nicely."
Mircalla thought it over. "I'll be nice and give you what you want: a path filled with irritating idiots."
"Gotcha. As someone who has never been in an orgy, is depth perception required?"
The HT snail's eyes narrowed slightly. "No."
"So Enoby would be fine with just one eye?"
"Is that really how you want to play it?" Mircalla said, an edge to her voice.
Cassandra sighed. "Okay, okay. Your concubines will be fine." She hung up and tossed the snail back. "'Fine' to me means no permanent damage. Orbital fractures aren't. Can I go?"
Enoby glared at her but made no attempt to free herself. Nodding, Cassandra ground her heel in just a little bit before ascending to the top level. The two posted guards stepped back when she kicked the stairwell door open, eyes darting to the side in panic. A quick burst of Conqueror's Haki and a circular hand movement quickly had them working the winch to raise the portcullis. "If you want to come out of this unscathed, don't lower it back down. In fact, why don't we all go downstairs when you're done? That seems like a perfectly good solution to everybody involved."
After winching as fast as they could, Cassandra bowed and gestured for them to go in front of her. The blood smeared across Enoby's cheeks indicated her half-hearted attempt at wiping her tears, and she bared her teeth when the trio entered the room. "What are you doing?" she spat.
"Why don't you take a break as well," Cassandra said as she shoved the two guards forward. "I hope you understand that lowering the portcullis wouldn't make anybody currently in this room very happy."
"Die so I can have Lyn," Enoby snapped.
Laughing, Cassandra waved derisively as she departed. She arrived at the ground floor uncontested and exited the gatehouse to find the group of siegers she technically trusted the most. Gwyn's arms rested on the massive scissors on her shoulders, Nancy idly spun his cane, Perang flexed his fingers in his knuckledusters, Mitsu stood angrily off to the side with her arms crossed, and KYKLOPS towered behind them. The reason they weren't advancing was clear. Lulu Easterna stood casually in the center of the path, one hand on her hip and the other tossing a small skull in the air. She grinned when she saw Cassandra, her fangs prominently on display. "Ah, Libera. So good to see you."
"Very not good to see you," she replied. "I didn't think that call I just made annoyed Mircalla that much."
Lulu shrugged. "You turned down the easy option."
"So what's the toll?"
"How about a kiss?" Cassandra stared at her skeptically. Lulu's grin widened. "Just a small one?"
"How about a toll I'll actually pay?"
Perang prodded her back and hissed, "The fuck is wrong with a kiss? You're even wearing lipstick, so you knew this was coming!"
Cassandra gestured at Lulu. "For clarification, whom do you want to kiss?"
Lulu leisurely licked the skull, her eyes fixed on KYKLOPS. "Nothing sexual; I'm not a pedophile. It doesn't even have to be on the lips."
"The other toll?"
Lulu's grin faded. "A fight, then."
"Until submission?"
"I suppose that'll work." She leapt at KYKLOPS without warning, knocking the battlesuit backwards with a single kick. It quickly regained its balance and halted its slide, the group pulling back to create a small arena. Lulu easily dodged its downward punch, and her retaliatory blow briefly lifted it off the ground.
"Max lethal!" Cassandra yelled.
Lulu's smile returned when its faceplate dropped to reveal ARTEMIS. "Better."
Her speed increased as she kept ahead of the gunfire, but it didn't take long for her to realize she wasn't shot at when there were members of the group behind her. KYKLOPS drove its hand into the ground loosened by bullets, its fistful of dirt and stone compacted into a tight sphere and loaded onto the track along its arm. Lulu raised one hand to block the launched sphere, though she quickly had to bring her other hand around to shatter it as she realized she couldn't block it.
She tackled the battlesuit's arm as it went for another SISYPHOS shot. Gasps came from around her as she flipped KYKLOPS over her head without much effort and smashed it into the ground. She grabbed ARTEMIS' spinning barrels and squeezed until they bent out of shape, then tore off SISYPHOS' track and tossed it away.
"Surrender!"
Lulu halted her attack at Cassandra's shout, her nails about to penetrate the crack between the torso doors. KYKLOPS raised its hands in defeat as well. Lulu hopped off and patted the battlesuit's side. "It really is just a kid's toy."
"Theo, go back to the ship and get fixed up," Cassandra ordered. "Good enough?"
"I guess for now." Lulu waited until KYKLOPS had wandered away to flash a cheeky smirk and chase after it.
Cassandra sighed and unhooked Skipper's receiver. "Doc, go and make sure Lulu doesn't try anything. Don't hold back if she does, but so long as you don't kill her, I'm sure Mircalla will be at least somewhat reasonable." She hung up and turned towards the main castle. "Okay, let's go."
"Don't move," came Perang's voice from behind her. "Don't call for backup; don't reach for your weapons. Your turn to raise your hands, or say good-bye to your precious girlfriend."
\\'/.\\'/.\\'/.\\'/.\\
Being notably smaller than May Day , Fully Pardoned could only fit about half of the Merry Pirates. Care was taken not to jostle Oya's wheelchair too much, though she attracted no few glares from those who managed to decipher her provocative rambling. Morgan and TNR competed trying to make the best snacks, but the number of guests demanded more quantity than quality.
Feeling stifled, Theo ascended to the main deck. Cain hadn't moved from his position by the mizzenmast, his white armor gleaming in the sunlight and a premade axe in his hands. Her renamed THEA battlesuit lay hidden underneath the ship, HEROINE sat against the rear cabin out of sight from the ocean, and NYMPHE moved to shadow her as she emerged from the ship.
"Are you allowed to be up here?" Will O'Hara asked.
"Of course I fucking am," she snapped before remembering that Cain could hear her. "You wanna go?"
Will raised his hands placatingly as NYMPHE activated its ASTERIA plasma blade. "I didn't mean to offend you. Just showing a bit of concern."
"Well don't," she shot back. "If there was a fourth Immortal, it would be me."
"Immortal?"
Her anger turned to smugness in an instant. "Our crew's top three fighters are called Immortals. Nobody's managed to kill Cap, Damien, or Doc yet, and they've fought some ridiculously strong people. Not that they can't be killed, but you're welcome to try." It was so much easier to admit Raven existed instead of having to be careful not to mention her.
"Your top three? From a crew of eleven?"
"Ten," she corrected. "Oya doesn't count. And so what if we're a small crew? There's still a top three. Don't the Merry Pirates have a top three?"
"We do," he admitted after a while. "But some of us don't feel like talking about it."
"Wee John's gotta be one of them, right? Didn't Damien beat the sh- hell out of him last time?"
"There were mitigating circumstances," Will said testily.
"Oh, give me a break. Damien-"
"We are allied with Mr. O'Hara and the rest of the Merry Pirates at the moment," Cain cut in. "Unduly provoking them is antithetical to cooperation."
Theo felt her face heat up. "Cap does!"
"As our leader, Captain Libera is free to make decisions that affect the rest of us."
"Don't I know it," Will said. "She certainly didn't hold back against me when we were fighting in Dewpon."
"Didn't you shoot her full of arrows?" Theo asked.
Will scoffed. "I didn't shoot her that many times."
NYMPHE raised its gun arm. "Can I shoot you not that many times?"
"Theo," Cain said sternly.
"I was gonna miss," she grumbled as she deactivated NYMPHE's weapons.
Will exhaled. "I'm real glad there's at least someone on your crew with some degree of common sense."
"You're just lucky Cain's here."
"And if he wasn't?"
"I would think twice about intentionally missing you."
"Theo, being a preteen, is more than encouraged to act childishly," Cain said as Will opened his mouth. "I am sure Captain Libera will be most pleased to know you act the same way and not ridicule you in the slightest."
"Bu- you're seriously telling me that with Lyn and Damien on her crew?"
"Lyn and Damien would take no offense to being called childish." Theo couldn't cover her mouth in time to stifle her giggles at the idea. "It seems the same cannot be said about you."
"I don't know how anyone tolerates you guys at all." He mashed a button on his burbling HT snail. "What?"
"I'm pretty sure I see the Marine ship meant to take us in," Wee said, "but there's a problem. Cassandra was rig-"
Everyone covered their ears as a piercing shriek cut through the air. Theo didn't remember Miserie being able to galvanize emotions that much over speakers, but the World Government evidently hadn't kept her for three years as a research subject for nothing. Theo entered NYMPHE without thinking, but some rational part of her kept her from immediately taking off towards the bestial explosion in the far distance.
"Which and how many Warlords are there?" Cain asked, kneeling down beside Will.
"Wee? Wee!" Will shook his snail. "John, can you hear me? John! Somebody talk to me!"
The snail's expression hardened. "I only see the Marine ship, which means it's the Abyssal Pirates," came a voice identified as Saffia's. "Are you sure Damien is injured? That was quite some blast."
Cain leaned in. "Don't worry about him. Where is Alexander?"
"Keeping his head cool, as your captain would say. I'll fish him out in a moment."
Theo clenched her teeth, and Cain's gaze narrowed just a little bit. "You assured us that you could keep your own head cool, Miss Jaq."
"And I thought I would. Your friend doesn't hold the third-highest bounty on your crew for nothing."
He remained silent for a moment. "Please keep us updated should any developments require outside reinforcements or our increased preparedness for incoming attacks."
Will smirked. "What, no snappy comeback? You should be thankful Saffia just kept your friend from killing himself even though he fought for the man who raped her."
He found himself pinned to the railing with the edge of Cain's axe against his neck. "Unduly provoking us is also antithetical to cooperation, Mr. O'Hara."
"Don't like hearing the tr-"
The snail's expression changed again. "Will, you shut your mouth," came TNR's voice. "Saffia and Alexander already talked it out and made peace."
"And we hold no ill-will towards Saffia regarding any actions she may recently have taken," Morgan added. "Making peace does not require forgiveness, and it is completely understandable that Miserie caused Saffia to act upon any anger she probably still has towards Alexander. None of us are any stranger to acting without thinking when Miserie puts all of her heart into her voice, especially when she is angry. I assume Saffia temporarily submerged him, which would indeed have prevented him from needlessly risking his life in an attempt to reach the Abyssal Pirates, and that frankly is something Captain herself might have done in Saffia's place."
Theo wanted to argue, but she knew he was right.
"So let's all settle down and stay focused," TNR finished. "The only thing we need to prove between our crews is that having access to a wider variety of cruising due to being royalty does make someone a better chef."
"No, I said I have a more refined palate because I was exposed to a wide variety of food as heir to the Zematsal throne," Morgan replied, a hint of humor in his tone. "I am a better chef than you because I am."
"That so?"
"Yes, this is not the first cook-off I've had recently."
Silence washed over the deck as the snail went to sleep. "So why is Alexander over there at all if he's so weak?" Will asked at last.
"Weakness is relative," Cain said, "and some members of our crew tend to have trouble following orders in certain situations."
"I mean, yeah, but that doesn't really matter," Theo butted in. "He loves fighting Marines and Warlords more than almost anything, and since Cap doesn't need him anywhere else right now, why would she say no? As long as we're not putting ourselves in definitely lethal situations, she doesn't stop us from doing what we want. Also, Alexander is way harder to kill than when you last-"
"They've caught on," Saffia said abruptly. "The Abyssal Pirates have split up to search for you by sea, and a couple squads of Marines have gone into the city to flank us."
Cain nodded at Theo, who excitedly darted over to HEROINE. THEA rose from the waters like a sea monster, allowing the smaller battlesuit to enter its chest cavity. KYKLOPS' absence merely meant she had had to add internal structures to keep herself from bouncing around. There was nothing quite like the rush she got when new sensory information flooded her mechanical brain and consequently her biological one. She made a mental note to ask Lyn about how sex felt later, because it was probably similar. Right now, it was time to prove that she really was the fourth Immortal.
\\'/.\\'/.\\'/.\\'/.\\
Saffia idly munched her banh mi as she waited for the Marines by May Day . While she was pretty sure Damien and Miserie's danger to their allies was overhyped, she saw no reason to go out to sea. Wee and the other fishmen could handle it. All she and the land team needed to do was keep their ship intact. Hode had been reluctant to use May Day as bait, but knew there was no better option.
"You know," Alexander said, folding his soaked suit jacket, "three years of imprisonment can do a lot to a person. For me, it provided me time to think things over. Damien and I both have life goals regarding the Marines: he wants to kill the fleet admiral, and I want to have a civil discussion with the fleet admiral about how the Marines operate."
"So only one of you will get what they want," Achis said.
Alexander shrugged. "We'll deal with that when we get there. My Devil Fruit is actually quite powerful for a Paramecia; it just doesn't provide much of an advantage in single combat. Its power truly shines when dealing with many enemies who aren't focused on me and preferably not within arm's reach. I've always held back against my opponents because I don't want to kill them, merely disable them. But I realized two things. One, this is the New World. Low-quality combatants aren't posted here, so I don't have to hold back as much."
Saffia glanced down as the street around him and the gathered Merry Pirates turned shiny black. "Two?"
She noted the tiny hole in his shoe as he lifted his foot and struck a match on it. "Two, I should take a page from Damien's book. There are more ways to disable people than just preventing them from moving or knocking them out."
The flicked match ignited the oil, blocking their view, and an unexpected toot from Alexander's trumpet kept the fumes away from them. After a moment, the flaming oil turned transparent, leaving behind screaming Marines as they rolled around to extinguish themselves. He unconcernedly lowered his instrument. "Montre Majik: Eripsyon."
Appetite lost, Saffia sighed and tossed away the rest of her sandwich. "Disable?"
"One of the people I love most in the entire world is a Marine commodore," he said. "Just experimenting on the best way to say hello next time I see her."
"Love?"
"Love is complicated. Are any of you going to clean them up or what?"
"You melted my sword."
"I see you've replaced it." She pulled a cartridge from her belt and slotted it into the hilt of her sword as other Merry Pirates ran past them. Pressing the hidden trigger button with her nail detonated the back of the sword, allowing her to swing it even faster than she normally could. The edge of the blade stopped a hairsbreadth from Alexander's throat, and she hid her disappointment at his lack of reaction. "Where did you get that made?"
She ejected away the spent cartridge with a flick of her wrist and inserted another. "You speak to the dead; ask the man I took it from."
"Sadly, that is outside my area of expertise. Anyhow, let's go show these dickblisters what happens when you fuck with our crews."
"Sounds good."
