"Now I'm sure some of you noticed during the headmaster's speech, we have a new second year student. While it is unusual for a student to start at second year, she has had some prior education. Why don't you introduce yourself?" Colbert said, in the first class of the year.

"My name is Blanc, pleasure to meet you all." Blanc said bowing.

Privately she surveyed the class in front of her. It seemed predominantly filled with mob characters, but there were a few standouts.

There was Tabby, who she deliberately didn't acknowledge, as they weren't supposed to know each other, nose in book as usual.

There was a tanned… girl… god dammit they were as big as Verts… with crimson red hair, way too much cleavage, and a saucy expression that told Blanc she wasn't going to like her. She was sitting next to Tabitha. She was looking back so Blanc tried not to let her eyes linger.

Next were a pair of blondes, a boy and a girl. The boy was some sort of pretty boy fop who had only given her a cursory glance. Blanc likewise ignored him and moved on to the girl, who looked like the villainess in a shoujo, hair drills and expression of mild disapproval at nothing in particular. Other than that, they looked remarkably similar, same shade of blonde hair and blue eyes, probably twins or something.

Last would be the second shortest girl in class, if it wasn't for Blanc being there, and she seemed to be compensating for that with the sheer volume of her hair, a cascade of pink locks went down her back to her waist, and Blanc wondered how much effort that took to maintain. Her expression also caught Blanc slightly off guard, she seemed to be wearing one of grim determination and crippling self doubt hidden behind one of stern indifference.

'If this were a manga, this would probably be the main character.' Blanc thought.

Blanc felt slightly better about this whole undercover at a magical school thing, she'll probably get a lot of material here.

Sitting down in the empty seat next to the Pinkette, a little smirk appeared on her lips as she imagined the stories she could write, causing a shiver down the spine of several students in the surroundings.


But now it was after class, and as she had been doing for the past week, she headed to the Library, a perfectly normal behaviour for a bookworm.

And if she happened to meet Tabitha there, also an avid reader, well nothing unusual about that is there.

Blanc selected a random interesting looking novel off the shelf and went to her usual table, where Tabitha just happened to be sitting.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" She asked this Tabitha girl who she had never met before, nor knew the name of.

"Non." Tabitha said, who did not mind sharing tables with strangers while reading.

"Thankyou." Blanc said, before sitting next to the ice mage she was meeting out of pure happenstance right now.

The trick to espionage is the ability to lie to yourself.

The plan however was fairly simple. They wouldn't say anything, neither were particularly talkative people, Tabitha out of habit, and Blanc out of avoiding saying anything that might incriminate her, so to actually talk would be suspicious. Instead Blanc would leave directions on a scrap of paper, and hide it in the book she was reading, and then leave it on the table, where Tabitha would 'accidentally' pick it up. And they would meet up in Blancs room to discuss things. Blanc didn't have any friends or acquaintances so the chances of people walking in on them there would be much lower then in Tabitha's room.

This plan was about half an hour into its execution when it hit a snag known as Tabitha's best friend.

"Oh there you are Tabby! Should have known I'd find you here."

Blanc turned to look to see a pair of breasts bouncing towards them. Blanc had a feeling she wasn't going to enjoy this.

"But really Tabby," Tabitha barely responded to the mammaries now pressed against the back of her head as the girl draped herself over the back of her chair, suggesting she is used to this, "it's the first day back and you're already holding up in the Library? Would it really be too hard to come say hello?"

"You usually find me." Was Tabitha's response. "...Hello Kirche."

"Cold as usual." Kirche said, not looking the least bit bothered. "I'd be annoyed if you weren't so cute. And who's this?"

Blanc internally swore as Kriche turned her attention to her.

"Why, it's the new student. Blanc wasn't it? Don't tell me you've found a new friend Tabby." Kirche said, in a teasing manner.

Tabitha shrugged, "She just sat there, we haven't talked."

Kirche turned back to look at Blanc, who gave an aggravated sigh. "I just like this table, I didn't even know her name until you showed up. Nothing wrong with enjoying silence in company."

In fact it was one of Blanc's favourite things… Especially if that company was Neptune.

But before she could get wistful and sad, Kirche started talking again. "Well, then I suppose we better introduce ourselves." she said, putting her hand on her chest, making them wobble slightly, "I'm Kirche von Zerbst, and this little bookworm is Tabitha."

Blanc, trying very hard not to lose her cool at the blatant flaunting, Reciprocated the 'courtesy', "Blanc." She tried to be as deadpan as possible.

"Just Blanc?" Kirche asked bending over to get closer to Blanc's level. Making her breasts hang, and giving Blanc a view of her cleavage

"She's just Tabitha isn't she." Blanc pointed out, as a vein throbbed on her temple.

"True. Kirche said. "But I was more curious as to where you were from."

"Germania." Blanc replied.

"Oh a fellow Gernanian?" Kirche said, making Blanc curse her bad luck. "I'm from Zerbst myself as you could guess, what territory?"

"...Hesse." Blanc said.

"Lord Herwig's territory hmm? Any relation to the man?" Kirche asked, folding her arms under her breasts.

*Bong-ng*

"How is that your business?" Blanc said, her left eye starting to twitch.

Tabitha had stopped reading by this point, as was watching with quiet concern, as Blancs self control was quietly eroded.

Kirche seemed to notice something was off, but instead of getting to minimum safe distance, she actually drew closer, a look of concern on her face. "Are you alright?"

Bringing her breasts right up to Blancs face.

*Bong-ng*

*Snap*

"I'M FINE, JUST GET THEM OUT OF MY FACE THUNDER-TITS!" Blanc exploded, pushing Kirche out of her personal space, in a surprising display of self control.

Kirche staggered back, surprised by the outburst, and the strength of the shove, before she gave a little predatory smirk, making Tabitha fear for her life.

"Ohho?" Kirche said, crossing her arms under her chest again, bringing them up, " Thunder-tits hmmm? My, how crass. Is somebody a little-"

Which was as far as Kirche got before a book hit her in the forehead and Blanc stormed off.

"I'm not nothing so drop it!"

Tabitha looked down at the dazed Germainian and the retreating Blanc. She was torn between concern for her friend, second hand curiosity and vague concern for her new being of worship, and amusement, as it had been kinda funny. She quickly picked up the book and took the note out of it, before going to help Kirche up

As Blanc left muttering something about mammaries. She passed a surprised looking Louise, who looked at the retreating Brunette, and the prone Germianian who Tabitha was helping up.

Louise managed a smile. This year was looking up already, she may have found a kindred spirit.


Blanc was sitting in her room reading, and trying not to be too embarrassed about her outburst today, and quietly dreading the upcoming conversation with her current ward.

Said ward slipped in quietly, closing the door and casting what was probably a silence spell.

Tabitha and Blanc stared at each other for a while.

"Thunder-tits?" was what Tabitha eventually asked, with the barest fraction of amusement on her face.

Blanc sighed, pulled out her phone, quickly unlocking it and passing it to Tabitha "One on the left, the Blonde."

Tabitha took the phone, curious to see more of Blancs world.

Her eyes bulged.

"That's Vert. Sorry for the swimwear, I didn't have any better ones of her." Blanc said

"Swimwear?" Tabitha said, her cheeks red.

"What else would that be?" Blanc said, dismissively. "But yeah, Thats Vert, another CPU from the nation of Leanbox. And a royal pain in the neck. She is thundertits. Your friend gives her a run for her money though."

"Enemy?" Tabitha asked.

"No she's a friend, for some god awful reason. But well…" Blanc sighed again. "Look I have a complex, ok? I'm the shortest of the CPUs in both my forms, with no chest to speak of, while the others are either already mature or gain maturity when transforming. I also have anger management issues, so I often lose my temper. Vert knows both of these things, and likes to tease me about it, especially when we are arguing about things… Or when she is bored and wants to rile me up into doing something. Your friend… reminds me of her, to the point where she had started ticking me off before she even started talking, and I think she might actually be worse. She wasn't even trying to annoy me and she was still showing them off like it was bloody second nature."

Tabitha nodded in understanding. Her secondhand embarrassment from the photo being mitigated by what she was just told. It was surprisingly grounding to know that even goddesses suffered from things like breast envy, and anger management… and slightly concerning for the future wellbeing of her best friend.

"Kirche is a good person." Tabitha said, "But she likes… sleeping around."

"Oh so that's how she advertises huh?" Blanc said, "I suppose that explains it. Still doesn't make it any less annoying."

"Please don't hurt her." Tabitha said, deciding to make this clear. "She's my best friend."

"Is that what you were worried about? I may have anger issues, but I'm no monster. If I was, I'd have a lot less friends considering how many of them manage to piss me off." Blanc said. "Besides, it's not as if she was trying to aggravate me. She'll probably leave me alone now anyway."

Tabitha immediately started avoiding eye contact.

Blanc frowned. "Something you aren't telling me?"

"Kirche… likes passion." Tabitha tried.

"I'm going to need more than that Tabby." Blanc said blankly.

"She likes teasing people if it gets a significantly fiery response." Tabitha admitted, "She did the same to Louise all last year... that's the girl with pink hair."

Blanc stared at Tabitha for a moment, before slowly dropping her head into her hands.

"Sorry." Tabitha said, patting Blanc on the back, while reflecting on how much her worldview had changed since she met the small goddess.

In a relatively short amount of time, she went from a jaded atheist, to a devoted follower (as much as anyone can be considering how informal their religion is) of a god from another world, and since then she had been learning what it truly meant to be divine. But more importantly that gods are people too, and they have personal problems and complexes.

Unfortunately it was these personal problems that were leading her god to potentially be contemplating the murder of her best freind, and Tabitha was nowhere near experienced enough in this sort of thing to know what to do about it.

"Why are you friends with her?" Blanc groaned through her hands.

Tabitha was taken out of her musings by the question, and it took her a moment to realign her thoughts. Still she struggled to put it into words however. There was a lot of things she liked about Kirche, that she went out of her way to befriend a loner like Tabitha, how she tries to get Tabitha involved in things, how generous she is with physical affection, filling the void left over by her father's death and mothers insanity. Even her habit of dragging her into weird highjinx was endearing in a way.

"I… like the closeness." was what she decided to settle on.

Blanc said nothing, so Tabitha added. "She gives nice hugs."

Blanc then took a deep breath, and lifted her head out of her hands. "Right, this is what I'm going to do. Tomorrow, I will talk to her, I will explain that I am sensitive about this, and I will politely ask her to stop. Nothing wrong with asking nicely."

Tabitha nodded, but privately wondered if things would go that smoothly.


"Excuse me."

Tabitha turned around with Kirche, to see Blanc approaching the pair. Not sure what to expect, Tabitha tried to not to hold her breath.

Kirche looked somewhat surprised, but settled into her trademark sultry smirk. "Well, well I didn't think you would-"

"Stop talking." Blanc said, reaching up, grabbing her by the cloak brooch, trying to ignore the feeling of Kirche's tits, as they squished against her forearm, before pulling her down to eye level.

"I am sorry for throwing my book at you." Blanc said to Kirches wide eyed face, while her own expression suggested she was anything but. "But I am... sensitive about my body, and have anger management issues. So needless to say I find you quite aggravating even before you open your mouth. I also tend to vent my anger violently, so in the future, please refrain from saying anything that would get me expelled and you in the infirmary. Okay? Okay."

She pushed Kirche back into a standing position, causing her to stagger a bit. "Thank you for being understanding."

Blanc gave a small bow and left.

Kirche was still blinking owlishly by the time Blanc was out of sight.

Her face then shifted back into her sultry grin. "My my, such strength, such passion. I think I might be in love~"

Tabitha facepalmed. She honestly can't tell who was worse in this situation, her goddess or her best friend.

Whichever was the case, it looked like she will be running damage control for the near future.


Chapter Notes:

Yeah, Kirche is not just a straight bully in my headcanon, honestly because the Tsundere and the tease are one of my favourite friendship/relationship dynamics. Like Neptune and Noire, Kagame and Konata from lucky star, and to a lesser extent Blanc and Vert (Blanc isn't really a Tsundere she's just volatile). In my mind it's one of the only ways to do a Tsundere right. Too often I see stories where the Tsundere is either paired up with a completely inoffensive bland everyman, which then it just makes the tsundere look bipolar as she goes off at this guy for no reason, or the complete jerk/unapologetic pervert who has no redeeming qualities that justifies the dere. But when you have somebody like Neptune or Konata on the other end, goofballs who like to tease the Tsundere, but at the end of the day are good people with plenty of redeeming qualities, that is when the tsundere shines. That way you get both justification for both the Tsun and the dere.

Alternatively you could also pull the Uni/Nepgear Dynamic, The Tsundere and the innocent, where Uni being a tsun upsets Nepgear who just wants to hang with her best friend, and causes Uni to rapidly backtrack, which is quite frankly adorable.

But other than that, Blanc can spot key characters from a mile away, and Lousie has enough protagonist energy that it makes me wonder why she wasn't the protagonist, rather than just the leading lady in the forever misused 'Harem' genre. Even if you ignore Harems actual meaning and just use it as a general term for polyamory like a lot of people do, Anime still tends to use it wrong to mean 'romance story with more than one potential love interest, but the MC will only get with one anyway, usually the first one introduced' which I admit probably needed a snappier title.

Also a lot of emphasis on Kirches breasts, but tbf, it would be first thing someone like Blanc would notice, if Blanc's delusion in Megadimension doesn't clue you in, her breast envy is literally that, she wishes she had big tits, or probably more accurately she wishes for a mature body, which she strongly associated with breasts. Although Kirches Vert like tendencies probably didn't help.

Also Kirche doesn't literally love Blanc, she was being hyperbolic, just thought I'd clear that up.

Although funny aside someone sent me a very long message trying to convince me that Kirche was gay for Louise (or at least Bi), and provided a lot of detailed evidence from the LN. Which is not funny in of itself, more interesting than anything, but the bit that I find amusing was the fact that they were trying to convince me, someone who primarily writes Touhou fanfics that a female character was gay, unless otherwise stated its safe to assume everybody in my stories is gay by default (or Bi, or Pan).