13) So Tie Me To A Post And Block My Ears

He had his doubts about how well the job Mal'd told them about was going to go. Zoë seemed tired, Mal edgy and River had a serene air about her. He had no idea what a serene River meant. "Mal, you sure you don't want any more backup on this job?" Riddick leaned against the stair rail and regarded the Browncoat, "I can get ready in less than a minute."

"Doesn't like change," River murmured as she descended the stairs. Everything she did felt fancy. She didn't come down the stairs, she descended them. She didn't just walk, she strode. And gave him an amused glance as she passed him. He was damn tempted to give that pretty pì gu (butt) a squeeze just to mess with her equilibrium but upsetting her before a job seemed pretty gorram stupid.

"Feel better with someone who can lift off in a hurry on the boat," Mal shook his head. "Caro's good but she's the first to admit she's shaky on takeoffs with this type ship still."

"You say so," Riddick nodded. His scalp and nape prickled with awareness and River looked at him, eyes sharp for a moment before she glanced at the Captain.

"Cap'n, perhaps this is the time to reconsider," Her tone had changed from tranquil to terse. Mal's eyes snapped to her and she tilted her head. He'd never seen a woman look more like a dragon than River Tam at that moment. "It never goes smooth," The words seemed like a reminder and Mal sighed.

"That it don't," He agreed. "I don't like it much but if we gotta leave in a hurry?"

"Has a point," River nodded. "Shí yùnbùjì (fate is unfavorable (idiom); the omens are not good). Odds are better if we move quickly."

"Then let's be on our way," Zoë had held her peace through the conversation, lowering the mule from its hoisted position above the bay. The First Mate positioned herself behind the wheel and gave Riddick a look, "Tell Kaylee and Simon to be prepped for immediate departure."

"Yeah," Riddick nodded and headed to the bay door controls. "I'll go up and make sure we're prepped." River and Mal climbed in the mule and he watched as they sped out of the ship once the ramp had lowered. Bad feeling. Really bad feeling.


Would she ever not jump a mile when Riddick came up behind her and spoke out of the blue? "Mal wants us ready to take off the minute they're back," He told her ignoring her startled reaction.

"He thinks something's gonna go wrong," Carolyn looked up at him curiously. A half-smile curved his lips as his fingers teased through her short hair.

"Think it's more like when don't things go wrong," He traced the line of her neck with a thick finger than had no business being so damn dexterous. "And since Zoë's fighting fatigue…"

"Yeah I got the impression Simon didn't like her going on this job," Carolyn nodded, ignoring the instinctive shiver of lust and trepidation his presence at her back caused.

"River said something that made Mal think twice since I offered to go along," Riddick stroked his thumb over her pulse. "But you bein' a little uncertain on take offs still, he figured better to have me here."

Carolyn nodded thoughtfully and turned the chair a bit, so he wasn't directly behind her, "How bad is this likely to go?" She'd found herself liking Mal and his crew more than she'd thought she would. Been glad the trial run had gone so well.

"Had me tell Kaylee and Simon to be ready for problems," He admitted. "I got a bad feeling about this one."

"Uh oh," She shook her head. "Anything else we can get done needs doing before they're back?"

"Think we're set," He turned and a few seconds later Carolyn heard steps in the corridor. Jack appeared in the doorway and gave them a half smile.

"Everybody's on edge," She explained with a shrug. "Kaylee's not snappish but she don't need me hangin' around getting' underfoot."

"You okay with all this," Carolyn nodded towards the navigator's chair as Riddick took the co-pilot's station. "The ship, crew, Captain…etcetera, etcetera?"

"Yeah…" Jack shrugged again. Seemed to be a teenager thing, like punctuation with attitude. "Cap'n's pretty decent, I guess. He wanted to make sure you two hadn't kidnapped me or somethin'."

"We what?" Riddick shook his head as if trying to shake off confusion.

"He could tell we weren't related," The younger girl shrugged again. "Checked with me to be sure I was okay. Make sure if I'm runnin' from something it don't catch up with me I guess."

"Well, he's Captain, means anything we do, tars him with the same brush," Carolyn nodded thoughtfully. Riddick, unbeknownst to Jack, had heard the entire conversation between the girl and Mal. He'd filled her in, maybe thinking it was better to be prepared. Riddick didn't have many scruples about other people's privacy, not if it meant being prepared for the worst.

"Told him you two saved my life more'n a couple times," Jack spread her heads.

"Carolyn saved your life kid," Riddick shook his head. The man was going to drive himself crazy trying to discourage Jack's hero worshipping. He frowned a minute, "Maybe go on and tell Inara that we'll more than likely have a hasty exit? So she's prepared for things to shift hard?"

"Yeah I can do that," Jack pushed herself out of her chair and practically ran down the hall until Riddick's voice told her to walk before she got herself killed.

Carolyn sighed, "It's not as bad as it could be." She reminded him quietly.

"I know," He sighed. "She looks to you almost as much as she does me, it's just…" He shook his head. "She's a kid."

"Younger than most in some ways and older in others," Carolyn agreed. "You're doing good though, keeping her firmly in the kid sister zone."

"Ain't anywhere else I can put her," Riddick grumbled. "Caro, I like kids, I'll put myself between a kid and trouble faster'n I would any adult, but this…"

"You're not used to anyone liking how dangerous you are," She surmised, and he shrugged, similar in attitude to the girl who'd just left.

"It's really weird," He sighed. "I mean, I get that if she was raised by her dad, she'd be more likely to be drawn to men as parental figures. But unless there's something in fatherhood I missed, that ain't how she's actin' 'round me."

"No, you're right," Carolyn agreed. "She's an odd duck our Jack."

"Just gorram weird," Riddick repeated with a shake of his head. "Most kids, they've got the sense to be a little afraid."

"You did save her life from that sky shark when my light broke," She reminded him. "And you kept Johns from using her as a…bucket of chum."

"She don't know that part of it though," He looked at her in what she finally interpreted was alarm. "Does she?"

"I don't think so," Carolyn shook her head and he relaxed slightly. "I don't think she was awake when you told Abu and I why you and Johns fought."

"Let's hope not," Riddick sighed. "I don't need any more fuel dumped on that particular fire thank you very much."

Carolyn chuckled slightly, looking over at him, "Gotta admit, I do find it funny, the near panicked look you get on your face whenever the subject comes up."

"Woman, I will tease you until you're begging tonight if you don't cut me some slack," He retorted with a wicked smirk spreading his lips.

"Promises, promises," She teased.

"Oh no Carolyn," He practically purred at her. "I don't make promises…I make threats."

Carolyn couldn't help it, the giggles burst out of her, interrupting her reply, "You…you know… it's usually, the other…the other way around, right?"

He did seem to see the humor in it at least, "Yeah, but it just sounded good in my head."

"Very intimidating," She grinned at him.

"Well with luck when there's trouble it'll find me more intimidating than you do," He shook his head.


Author's Note: One thing I want to keep semi canon is Mal's really deplorable luck. I.E. 'It never goes smooth'. Riddick offering to go along on the job seemed like the sort of thing he'd do simply because everyone wants to get paid and if things go wrong they won't. But the concern about Carolyn's lack of experience with take offs and landings seemed like they'd need Riddick aboard if River was going with them. And let's face it. Mal's luck goes a lot better when River is around.

Chinese Translations:

pì gu (butt)

shí yùnbùjì (fate is unfavorable (idiom); the omens are not good)