41) Every Thing That Kills Me Makes Me Feel Alive
Jack was going to drive her chī xiàn. She didn't want to learn from River (Carolyn was pretty sure everyone on the boat was aware of that by now, including River) and now had the insane idea that she should learn from Riddick.
"Jack, I don't have time for this right now," She warned the girl as she hurried up to the bridge, Jack dogging her heels.
"But—" Jack persisted.
Carolyn threw herself into the pilot's chair and pointed at the co-pilot's seat, "Don't touch anything." She got on the comms to the engine room, "Kaylee, Mal says we need to be ready to go, right away. Get her warmed up."
"Shì," Kaylee called back in her cheerful voice. "Be ready in two shakes."
"You're a mechanical miracle worker," Carolyn put a smile into her voice. No reason Kaylee should bear the brunt of her bad mood due to the unreasonable teenager (ironically Jack thought she was being perfectly reasonable but then didn't teenagers always?) next to the pilot.
She felt the engines turn up, the ship vibrating subtly and began the sequence to put them into flight mode. Mal's voice came over the comms, "Uh, Carolyn, tell me you're on the stick right now?"
"I am, what's goin' on," Carolyn put the comms on the overhead, so she had both hands on the controls.
"Well, it seems the buyer had a problem payin' for the goods," Mal prevaricated.
"Uh huh," She knew this would happen. For a man who acted as cynical as they came Mal had a whole lot of faith that people would behave properly. "Lemme guess, they're chasin' you?"
"Well let's just say if you felt up to pulling a barn swallow, I'd be feeling a touch better about our odds of surviving this little fracas," The Captain replied with admirable aplomb considering his situation. "Rick an' River's ability to kill folks aside."
"Okay, just gimme a direction," Carolyn took a breath and hit the comms for the engine room again. "Kaylee, we gotta go get 'em, we're gonna do a barn swallow."
She heard Mal's voice over the comms, "Due west."
"Again," Came Kaylee's bewildering reply. "Okay, I'm on it."
"We're takin' off," Carolyn lifted Serenity off the ground and began the slightly laborious process of flying the ship through the atmosphere. At least there weren't a lot of mountains, prairies weren't too hard to fly over. "Jack, get down to the bay and get ready to open the cargo bay doors. I'll tell you when. And put on that safety harness Kaylee rigged up. Don't wanna lose you in the process of rescuing them."
She'd give Jack credit, when lives were on the line the girl didn't argue. The teenager took off running and Carolyn got back on the comms with Mal. "Cap'n we are on our way. How many you got followin' you?"
"Oh, only about a dozen," Mal's cheerful voice replied. "River what? Oh, my mistake. I apologize. Carolyn it's thirteen. Not twelve."
"Right, so baker's dozen," Carolyn squinted out the windows. "Thanks for the clarification. I think I see you. Bright yellow mule, couple little ones followin' you, 'bout ten or so horses?"
"Yep, that'd be us," The Captain's confirmation came back.
"Okay, get ready," Carolyn sent up a fervent prayer and hit the comms for the cargo bay. "Jack open the doors now."
She could tell the minute Jack did so because the ship immediately became unwieldly as the air rushed into the ship instead of around it. "Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ," She swore. "Mal I'm getting her as low as I can. But we're getting a lot of drag."
"You're good," Mal sounded unreasonably calm. Why did he sound so calm when he was getting chased and shot at? She was in a nice safe ship (assuming she didn't crash poor Serenity) and on the verge of panic. "Just stay on that same heading and we're good."
"If I slow down I can get lower but I don't think you've got the time," She held the ship as steady as she could.
"You're fine Carolyn, just hold her steady as you can," Mal, calm and reassuring. "We're almost there."
"Anybody hurt," She asked, primarily to keep her mind off what she was doing. Playing a game of chicken with a ship definitely not designed for it against their own mule and a dozen horses.
"River's got a graze and Rick's got a bullet in his side," The Captain didn't sound too worked up. "I got a nice hole in my shoulder."
"Jiàn tā de guǐ," Carolyn muttered and punched the comms for the infirmary. "Simon, get set up, we got wounded comin' in hot."
She didn't have much more time to worry about it because they were almost on the mule. "Okay Carolyn, now's when you dip the nose just a touch, scoop us up, and head for upper atmosphere." Mal coached and Carolyn had the urge to laugh. He was bleeding, being shot at, and still more calm than she was about the entire thing.
"I gotcha," Carolyn dipped the nose of the ship, and she could almost feel when the mule skidded up the ramp, no doubt scraping the paint. Lifting the nose of the ship she did as Mal had instructed and headed for the atmosphere. "Jack, if they're on, close the doors," She called through the comms.
"We're all here Carolyn," Mal's voice came over the speakers. "Five minutes and you can take us off world."
"I'll set the timer Cap'n," Carolyn chuckled.
River came up and relieved her, a smile on her lips and her shirt still torn with a bloody furrow in her flesh, "Should go rescue the Captain." She took Carolyn's place, "She will set the autopilot and then begin to make dinner."
"Thanks River," Carolyn gave the other pilot a grateful smile. "What am I rescuing him from?"
"Simon and Jack and himself," Succinct but knowing River, accurate.
"Qīngwā cāo de liúmáng," Carolyn cursed and began the run down to the infirmary.
Zoë began following her from the shuttle airlock, her big belly limiting the amount of speed the First Mate could achieve. Carolyn guessed River had alerted her on the way up to the bridge. When Carolyn arrived in the doorway of the infirmary it was to see Mal arguing with Simon that Rick should be treated first.
"Mal, I'm a better judge of triage than you are, being a trained medical professional," Simon, for all his shorter height, was quite capable of staring the Captain down, at least in a medical situation. "You're losing more blood than Rick, the bullet is still lodged in your shoulder, and you need surgery."
"River said I ought to rescue you," Carolyn leaned against the doorjamb next to Jack. "Doesn't seem like that's what's needed though." She glanced at Simon, "Looks more like Simon needs the rescue. Someone to convince you to use good sense and let the man do his job."
She glanced at Jack beside her and noticed that the girl seemed on the verge of saying something, opening her mouth and then closing it again as the conversation continued, "Jack, this is not the time." She cautioned the girl.
"Doc I'm tellin' you, I'm the Captain and Rick needs your help more than I do at the moment."
Mal seized upon any potential distraction from Simon and his medical tools. "Not the time for what?"
Riddick was sitting on the wide counter that served as a secondary bed in a pinch and rolled his eyes eloquently. "Uh Mal, this is about the only place on the ship where that argument won't work," He reminded the other man.
"I want to have Rick teach me how to fight," Jack answered Mal quickly and Carolyn sighed in frustration.
"Enough of this shǎ qì," She moved forward and stared her Captain in the face. "You. You are gonna stop arguing with Simon and get your shoulder fixed before the blood loss causes brain damage. Lord knows you're fākuáng enough already, let's not add to that." She glanced at Simon, "Stop arguing with him and dope him." Peripherally she saw Zoë slip into the infirmary and move to stand at Simon's other side, presumably to assist if she could.
Mal sighed and leaned back against the bed/table, "Ain't no gettin' around you is there?" His whimsical inquiry was somewhat spoiled by his wince as Simon stuck a needle in his arm.
"Nope, so stop tryin' to fight it," She retorted. The drugs were already kicking in as she and Simon removed his shirt and Mal was smiling a bit goofily up at her.
"Carolyn, darlin', if you wanna undress me you coulda just said...but I think we might oughta be more private," He quipped.
Carolyn let herself have a minute to smile at his silliness before she turned and looked at Jack. "When I tell you something I expect you to listen to it Jack," She deliberately kept her arms loose at her sides, feigning relaxation. "The Captain needs surgery but you thought that was the perfect time to bring up an argument you're having with me?"
"Run that past me again," Riddick didn't seem to be in much discomfort, having pulled off his shirt and gun belt to regard the wound in his side.
"I want you to teach me to fight," Jack's words nearly tumbled over each other she spoke in such a rush. "Instead of River." She wrinkled her nose, as if they didn't already know her opinion of the older girl.
"No, you don't," Riddick shook his head. Carolyn moved to the first aid kit and brought it over, handing Riddick a cleansing cloth. Whenever possible he preferred to do the first aid on himself.
"Yeah, I do," Jack immediately argued. "I'm not learning anything useful from her. Just all these forms and katas."
Riddick raised an eyebrow at her sardonically, "I wonder why that is."
"Might have something to do with you not having any respect for River's abilities," Simon commented as he deftly began to do surgery on Mal's shoulder. He looked up for a moment when the sudden silence indicated Jack's surprise at the observation. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was I supposed to pretend I can't hear this? Or that I'm unaware of Jack's antipathy towards my little sister?"
Simon had a knack for making you feel about two inches tall, Carolyn half smiled. Especially if you were acting in a fashion he considered idiotic.
"Wouldn't expect you to pretend you're deaf," The pilot shook her head.
"Does it matter why," Jack persisted. "I'm not learning anything that I can actually use in a fight."
"Yeah, it matters why," Riddick shook his head and took the bottle of cleanser. With a clench of his jaw, he began to spray the foam into his wound and pull it out as it hardened, dragging bits of fabric and other contaminants with it. "Carolyn, you mind doing the back of this? It's a through and through."
"Got it," She stood behind him and kept one hand on his shoulder to remind him she was there as she continued the process on the wound.
The huge convict took up the conversation with Jack as if there'd been no interruption, "If you're not learning because you can't see the value of the lessons due to disliking your teacher, I got no guarantee you won't have the same problem with me. That's one reason." He glanced at Simon, "I'd bet even money that the Doc had some professors at Med Acad he couldn't stand. Didn't stop him from learning from them."
"More than some," Simon nodded his agreement and murmured something to Zoë which prompted the First Mate to grab the sutures and more of the cleanser foam. "You'd be amazed at how pompous and annoying some Doctors can be."
"Pompous, a doctor, noooo…" Zoë quipped gently and got a chuckle out of Simon.
"Worse than I ever was," He nodded.
"Point is, if it's worth learning, shouldn't matter who the teacher is," Riddick didn't even flinch as Carolyn pulled the foam out of the wound and began to repeat the process. "And the second reason I can't teach you is that I'm not a tiān shā de teacher. Everything I know about fighting I learned the hard way. By getting in fights."
"River ain't a teacher either," Jack argued. "Neither was Inara."
"That ain't strictly true," Zoë corrected her. "Inara taught at a Training House for Companions," She informed them quietly. "She had experience with it."
"But River ain't," The teenager persisted.
"It's a sōu zhǔ yi," Riddick shook his head. "If I tried teaching you…I dunno what would happen, but it wouldn't be good."
"How do you know?" Carolyn couldn't believe Jack kept pushing. Either she didn't believe Riddick would ever hurt her (very likely true), she thought he wasn't sure of what he was saying, (a possibility but unlikely) or she was just crazy and thus fearless (Carolyn was putting more credence in this last theory due to Jack's recent behavior). "How do you know I can't learn from you?"
"Because I don't pull my tā mā de punches Jack," Riddick snarled the answer. "I don't teach. I fight. Sparring's one thing, with someone who's got the same level of skills as me. But I ain't ever met anyone could keep up, not ever in my life so far." He shook his head again, "You'd end up with broken bones, blood… it'd be bad. And I know it. So, no, I won't teach you Jack. Because I draw the line at beating up my little sister just so she'll learn a lesson about biting off more than she can chew."
The blonde pilot sighed, "Jack if you just gave the lessons with River a chance…"
Jack's arms folded across her middle defensively and her expression would give mulish new definition. Thankfully Riddick seemed to read her intentions and pointed at her, "And don't you go and bring this up to the Captain with the idea of getting him to order me to teach you. You will not like the result little girl. You'll end up with that beat down just so he can see what a bad idea it is."
That was the last straw for Jack. She scowled ferociously at all of the adults in the room and stormed out of the infirmary.
"Well," Simon remarked quietly. "That was fun. Zoë, will we have this to look forward to in thirteen years or so?"
"Sad to say, but yes," Zoë smiled. "Since this one's a girl."
"Lovely," Simon chuckled. "River didn't… well, if she did go through something similar, she was at the Academy, and I missed it."
"You ain't missin' much," Riddick told him dryly. And Buddha help her, Carolyn agreed with that wholeheartedly.
Author's Note: So Jack really doesn't like River these days. Do we think she'll let this new idea of hers drop?
Oh, also for some reason says that my email is rejecting them so they've disabled all alerts on my account. That means I don't get anything telling me I have a review or that someone's posted a chapter...nothing.
Chinese Translations:
chī xiàn (crazy / insane)
Shì (is / are / am / yes / to be)
"Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ (Fuck everyone in the universe to death.)
Jiàn tā de guǐ (damnit/ bloody hell)
Qīngwā cāo de liúmáng (frog fucking hooligans),"
shǎ qì (foolishness / nonsense / foolish)
fākuáng (crazy)
tiān shā de (Goddam! / goddamn / wretched)
sōu zhǔ yi (rotten idea)
tā mā de (damn it! / fucking) (taboo curse)
