63) Lately, I've Been, I've Been Losing Sleep

Mal looked at Jayne and sighed. He'd made it plain to his ex-crewman that the man wasn't exactly welcome on board the boat nor was he certain he wanted Jayne as crew again. And he'd said that flat out. If Jayne had said what he said about anyone else Mal would've thought Jayne was angling for their job by makin' 'em look bad.

But Jack didn't have a paying job really. And Jayne knew that. Plus, Mal'd known Jayne long enough to know when the gǒushǐ duī was lyin'. Not just exaggeratin' his exploits or tellin' tall tales for the fun of it. And Jayne wasn't lyin', more's the pity.

"Tā mā de niǎo," Mal sighed. Like things weren't tense enough on the boat. River and Simon were working on ident cards for her and Carolyn and holding off on Jayne's until they were sure he'd be needed. Which it was looking more an' more like he would be. And that was another problem altogether given Jayne's history and propensity for gettin' stupid when the money got too good.

"Yeah," Jayne slouched in the navigator's chair. "I told her, ain't no good gonna come of it. Told her what I done on Ariel. How mad you'd been." He began to repeat the conversation as much as he could, and Mal found himself reluctantly impressed. "Cain't tell if I made a dent or not," Jayne concluded.

"Well, if you did or didn't, River'll be able to tell if Jack starts to get stupid about things," Mal raised his eyes heavenward and implored Book to put in a good word for them. Maybe the Almighty'd listen to Book. He sure as goose shit never listened to Mal.

"Yeah, said as much, since the girl's a genius an' all," Jayne shrugged at him. "Guess it don't help she thinks Rick walks on water an' Caro's right behind him."

"I just…" Mal shook his head. "She's a pretty good kid…"

"Mal, you ain't got little brothers or sisters do you," It was obviously a rhetorical question as Jayne continued without pause. "Kids that age, she's what fifteen or sixteen? They don't think long term. Hell, half the time they don't think period. She wants somethin', ain't even sure what really, an' she was thinkin' if she got River out of the way somehow, she could get it."

"So, what do we do about it?" He frowned. "We don't got time to get into it now really."

"I just…" Jayne shook his head uncomfortably. "Didn't seem like the sorta thing you oughta be in the dark about s'all."

"No, you're right Jayne, and I'm glad you told me, even if I ain't glad of the news," Mal nodded. He looked towards the hall as Riddick's huge form filled the doorway, River slipping past him to stand on the threshold. "We gotta table it for the moment though." River's eyes were dark and flicked between him and Jayne for a moment and he knew she was already aware of Jack's tentative little (theoretical) foray into bounty hunting.

"Ident cards are done for Carolyn and me," River said quietly.

"Now we gotta decide on the third," Rick added and took a seat in the Pilot's chair, drawing River down to sit in his lap. It was the most openly affectionate Mal had seen the two of them act and pretty unlike them. But River's fingers had gone white-knuckled with tension, and he wouldn't deny her any comfort she could come by.

"Third," Jayne looked at them. "How'd you mean?"

"The plan to get Zoë out, is complete but for one element," River's voice, cool and calm sounded disturbingly like Zoë's. Speaking of Zoë, baby Emma was crying, and it was Mal's turn to take care of her.

"I'll get her Mal," Jayne stood hurriedly and Mal heard him striding down the hall to the galley where the baby had been sleeping. Moving her while she was sleeping carried the risk of waking the baby. So long as they could hear her when she fussed Emma was safe enough in the galley. Rick glanced after him and a faint smile quirked his mouth upwards at the corners. It took a few minutes before Jayne brought the baby and her basinet along with one of the bottles and burp cloth.

"She needed a change an' she's hungry," Jayne looked disturbingly comfortable with a baby in his arms, getting her settled there and teasing her little mouth with the bottle until Emma latched on enthusiastically. "There you go," He smiled and looked up at them.

"Jayne…there's somethin' about this that's all manner a disturbin' to me," Mal shook his head.

He might have continued but Rick spoke over him, "He's got more experience than the rest of us, obviously." The huge man pushed his goggles up to his forehead, "What we mean by third is that a two-person crew, both women, and one of them pretty tiny, ain't exactly…believable as a team capable of bringing me in."

"Why," Jayne didn't get it. Obviously. "You're big, but guns beat big every time."

Mal nearly leaned back in his chair and then thought better of it. Jayne was holding the baby and if sufficiently shocked might drop her. "Jayne, Rick's likely got a few wanted posters of his own," He leaned forward with a glance at Rick.

"Yeah, I ain't gettin' the way this plan'll work," Jayne shook his head. "Ya'll're talkin' circles."

Rick rolled his eyes, "It's a Fed slam right?" Jayne nodded slowly and Rick continued. "You know how a slam works?"

"Prisons get paid to keep the folks in them inside, give out a re-ward to the ones what brung 'em in, an' the Feds give 'em money to make up for the re-ward," Jayne summed up the workings of the prison system succinctly enough.

"Where they put Zoë is a Double Max slam," Rick explained. "Ain't as strict a lockdown as a Triple Max but there still ain't any gettin' in unless you're goin' through the front door."

"Dyton Penal Colony's nothin' but desert for forty to fifty miles in every direction," Mal reminded them all. It bore repeating. "They don't need fence or even too many guards. Desert does their work for 'em."

"Which is gonna make it easy," Rick smirked. "We walk in the front door with a prisoner. Me. A big enough payday that the slam won't mind payin' out the reward because they'll be gettin' a sweet deal in pay for keeping me."

"Why you," Jayne didn't get it. That much was obvious. He put the baby on his shoulder and coaxed a burp out of her, which irritated Emma some. Felt belching was beneath her dignity Mal guessed. Her mother's daughter through and through. Once fed and burped, drowsy with a full belly, Emma started to fall asleep and got tucked safely back in her bassinette. Jayne picked up right where he'd left off, "I mean you're big an' mean lookin', but if you're such a big payday, what're you doin' on this boat?"

"Keeping a low profile," Rick shrugged. "Most folks think I'm dead. I'm being resurrected to get Zoë out but by the time we've busted out of the slam, people will think I'm dead again."

River shook her head, "He will not understand until he sees." She leaned over and tapped the cortex keys bring up a warrant on the screen. Richard B Riddick, escaped convict, murderer.

Jayne's reaction got the convict smirking as the man stared from the screen to Riddick to Mal and then back again. "Zài dì yù de dì qī gè guā yuē jī zhōng shì shén me," He gasped. "Mal, you—uh… Mal?"

"He already told me," Mal shrugged feigning an ease he did not entirely feel. It was some unsettlin' to know the man he'd blithely been ordering around was a killer wanted the 'verse over. (All right he'd suspected Rick of being a killer and being wanted but this was a whole other level of danger.) On the other hand, the man didn't lose his temper in the face of Kaylee's most cheerful babble, Simon's prissiness or River's enigmatic attitude (even before they'd begun their flirtation or whatever it was they were doin') which was more than Mal could say for Jayne (or for himself come to think). For someone who's supposed to be a murderin' psychopath Rick showed a lot of restraint.

Jayne was still trying to catch his breath, and likely slow his heart, staring from Rick to River and back to Mal again in complete bewilderment. "Mal, you finally gone fākuáng? He's s'posed to be more dangerous than River ever was."

Rick chuckled, a low evil sound that crawled through the air and sent chills up Mal's spine (and he had no doubt that's why Rick had done it). "Dunno 'bout that. This woman is all sortsa deadly/pretty," He stroked a finger down River's jaw and was given a sweet smile.

"Says the nicest things."

"Great," Jayne shook his head. "Crazy killer woman's got a beau what's an even crazier killer."

"Not crazy," Rick just shook his head though he did produce a small knife out of nowhere and began to flip it through his fingers.

"But you can see why a prison would pay for him right," Mal pressed the point and Jayne nodded reluctantly.

"Yeah…" He kept eyeing Rick warily, as if the man might throw the knife in his hands at any moment. "How's turnin' him in get Zoë out though?"

"I am become a name," River shrugged leaning against her (boyfriend? Lover? Beau? Suitor?) whatever he was. "Well known that no slam can hold him for long."

"And it'd be believable that three people could catch you?" Jayne did see the unlikelihood of that. Mal knew the man wasn't completely unobservant.

"It would if we use the passenger names from the transport I was on," Rick nodded. "Jack, Carolyn and me, we all came from the same boat. Only survivors 'sides an Imam." Mal glanced at Jayne and saw the man's eyes widen slightly (obviously wondering why so few survivors and thinking Rick had somethin' to do with it). Rick picked up on that too, adding, "Planet we crashed on was comin' on to a full eclipse and there were some native animals that loved the dark. They'd eat anything includin' each other. Took everyone."

Jayne didn't get it and Mal sighed, "I'm thinkin' the two of you'd better elaborate." The good thing about Jayne was if you broke something down in terms he could understand he could get the job done. Might not be pretty or clean but it'd be done. The not so great thing was reducing something complex to language far more simplified than Captain dummy talk. That wasn't always easy.

"We will use the names of the dead," River brought up the idents on screen. Thankfully, she was well familiar with Jayne's issues. "Carolyn will be Shazza. Jayne will be Zeke. The girl will be another of the dead passengers, Lorraine Williams." She glanced at Rick, "Did not think it wise to resurrect Jack. Better to be presumed dead."

"Makes sense," Rick nodded and took up where she'd left off. "I was in a cryo tube, cuffed, blind-folded, horse-bit in my mouth an' all. They can say that they caught me after the crash, with River playing bait. It's pretty well known that I've got a soft spot for kids."

"Carry a gun with horse tranqs in it," River added. "Makes it more plausible."

"Big guy like you, honey pot like Carolyn and River playin' the kid, along with horse tranqs…yeah, it could work," Rick looked at River. "Need to make you look younger somehow though."

"Hell, put 'er in one of them dresses too big for her and let her hair fall in her face, she'll look half grown," Jayne shrugged off that problem. "Girl's small enough to look like a kid. So long as this play don't end up with us in jail along with you."

"That would be counterproductive," River rolled her eyes. "The plan will work, so long as we all play our parts."

Mal sighed, "Yeah. River, you an' Simon get goin' on the ident for Jayne. I'll get a course set for Red Sun."

"Shì," River nodded.

"Rick, go on, get some rest," Mal didn't want to get started on the other problematic topic, namely Jack's problems with River. Not at the moment anyway. Best to leave that for a while. He looked at Jayne, "Jayne, I better not need to tell you that you don't say anything about any of this to Bea. She ain't anymore'n a passenger and not an entirely welcome one. I don't trust her."

"Nah Mal, I won't say a word," The goateed man shook his head as Rick left the room. "I know better. Only thing I ever talked on was I used to crew with you, and I knew where you'd likely go. Gave Ma the money so she'd be able to keep body an' soul together."

"Make no mistake, I don't like that you put money over this crew, again," Mal told him flatly. "I get that it was for your Ma, and sometimes a man gets stuck between a rock and a hard place. But Bea stays in the dark, about everything, or I will do worse than put you in the airlock."

"Mal, I ain't said anything," Jayne shook his head again. "I won't. Told you, wanted to come back here because it's like home for me. Don' wanna do anything to mess that up."

"Good," He stared into Jayne's blue eyes and saw nothing but the truth there. "Because we've been rubbing along pretty well."

"Mal, you ain't gonna like hearin' this, but it's gotta be said," The big man shrugged uneasily. "You got people scarier'n me, an' scarier'n you on the boat now. I don't wanna do anything sets Rick in a bad mood. Nor River neither."

"Jayne that just might could be the smartest thing I've heard you say since you got on the boat," Mal nodded. "You keep that mindset an' everythin'll be fine."

Jayne nodded and stood, leaving the bridge after he checked the baby once more. Mal sighed as he looked at Emma, "Baby girl, zhēn tā mā yào mìng."


Author's Note: So…Jayne's been brought into the plan. He could have reacted worse I think. And he doesn't seem to even be considering what he could do on an 'interesting day'. So there's that.

Chinese Translations:

gǒushǐ duī (a person who behaves badly (lit. "a pile of dog shit"))

Tā mā de niǎo (goddamn it /lit. 'His mother's dick')

Zài dì yù de dì qī gè guā yuē jī zhōng shì shén me (What in the seventh sphincter of hell)

fākuáng (crazy)

Shì (is / are / am / yes / to be)

zhēn tā mā yào mìng. (The situation's really fucked up.)

Quote Sources:

I am become a name – Ulysses – Alfred, Lord Tennyson